Helpful and Harmful Gossip

0:00 Just to let you know, people are getting to the toilet quickly. For this evening, someone gave me a suggestion of a topic for this talk. Report an error in the passage at 0:00 Highlight the passage at 0:00

0:15 And I thought, why not? I haven't talked to others for years. And that talk is, tonight's talk is going to be about gossip. Report an error in the passage at 0:15 Highlight the passage at 0:15

0:34 Let everybody find a nice seat first of all. Report an error in the passage at 0:34 Highlight the passage at 0:34

0:42 We have the nice armchair over there. You've got a chair in the back there for the lady with... Yeah, you've got a chair? Yeah, good. If anybody wants a really nice chair, there's one over there behind you. Please, you can sit on it. You know, that's what the chair is there for, to be sat on. Report an error in the passage at 0:42 Highlight the passage at 0:42

1:11 Otherwise, we'd be gossiping about the lady who doesn't sit on the chair. And Report an error in the passage at 1:11 Highlight the passage at 1:11

1:21 I think I like the suggestion of gossip. Because gossip hurts so many people. And I say hurts them because what gossip usually means is talking bad things about another person. How many times do we have what is like Buddhist gossip? Buddhist gossip is saying nice things about other people. And nice things that someone has done, we want to spread it around. What a beautiful act that was. And how wonderful that was. Report an error in the passage at 1:21 Highlight the passage at 1:21

1:58 When there's positive gossip, it actually inspires people more and more and more. And as you know, I travel around, not just to Serpent Island back here, that I recently went to Hong Kong, but before that I went to Thailand for a brief visit there. And one of the people I saw there was telling me that the school which their children went to, was trying to do something to value those people who have done really fine acts and the person they valued was that young Thai boy who actually was in that little tragedy, should have been a tragedy but it wasn't, where they were stuck in a cave in a little football team and this little kid He could speak enough English that when one of the rescuers came he could tell them where everybody was and how they were. Report an error in the passage at 1:58 Highlight the passage at 1:58

3:07 And he helped making sure that that football team stuck in a cave was actually all rescued. So what they did was they invited him all the way from Thailand over to United States to talk. and inspire others and give him an award. He was a very poor kid. The award was not just for him. It was for many other people as well. Report an error in the passage at 3:07 Highlight the passage at 3:07

3:39 Many of his friends and the school he was at. And so that they could learn. Just, you know, the importance of not being afraid, of not doing a job at school, of like learning and being able to have the confidence to speak enough English. Report an error in the passage at 3:39 Highlight the passage at 3:39

4:15 Imagine, like a little kid, really poor, and having the opportunity to travel and see and be looked after and just... We were gossiping about him, but in a positive way. And that good news stories, I think that's what we always should be gossiping about when somebody does that little step extra to help and to serve and to make the world a better place. Report an error in the passage at 4:15 Highlight the passage at 4:15

4:47 Unfortunately, when we talk about gossip, we usually mean the unfortunate things which people do, we gossip around about. And that can be very, very dangerous. The story which I remember, from when I was very young even, was about these four priests. And they went to this conference, like a seminar. And afterwards, at their lunch, sitting at the same table, they started to talk about their own life. Report an error in the passage at 4:47 Highlight the passage at 4:47

5:24 They said what they heard in the conference was the importance of being honest and upfront. If you've done any faults, please let people know and they will help you and not do the faults again. That's what we do in monastery. We do like confessions, apologies. That's why usually soon for the Thai community on April the 13th, it's like the Songkran day. Report an error in the passage at 5:24 Highlight the passage at 5:24

5:59 On Songkran we do a little ceremony of asking forgiveness. I remember those days over in Thailand, they really got into it. What they did was they washed all the monks and that was really quite difficult to endure because they had so much water and they almost threw it all over you and you got soaking. Report an error in the passage at 5:59 Highlight the passage at 5:59

6:28 Then afterwards they asked forgiveness. So if you hadn't soaked me you wouldn't need to ask forgiveness. But it was mostly a forgiveness ceremony which was the purpose of the New Year's Day. The idea of washing away any faults. And even to the point that in some communities in Thailand, the Buddhist communities, they would also bring some sand to the monastery. Report an error in the passage at 6:28 Highlight the passage at 6:28

6:56 They brought the sand there because they explained that whenever they come into the monastery in their shoes, they would always take some of the sand on their shoes back with them to the village. It was stuck, not intentionally, but just what happens. So they said they didn't want to be in debt to the monks, so they always wanted, they can't be in debt to the monks, they feed us, but they wanted always to bring some sand every year. Report an error in the passage at 6:56 Highlight the passage at 6:56

7:25 To pay off any possible debts. That was their way of just asking for forgiveness. So sometimes it's a beautiful thing. Imagine if you had a forgiveness ceremony in your marriage. Report an error in the passage at 7:25 Highlight the passage at 7:25

7:46 In fact, I've done many marriage celebrations over so many years that that was one of the most beautiful suggestions somebody said that I made them promise to do. At their wedding, this was over in the town of Melaka in Malaysia, and the lady who asked me, can you please do the blessing for our marriage? Report an error in the passage at 7:46 Highlight the passage at 7:46

8:16 She was a celebrity. She had her own TV show. It just so happened I was giving a small retreat in Melaka on that day, and she asked, Can you take an hour off to do the blessing for my marriage? And so of course, you know, if I can, I will. And I did. And at her marriage, she was so well known in Malaysia, it was the first time I got my photo on a glossy magazine. Report an error in the passage at 8:16 Highlight the passage at 8:16

8:49 I think it was New Vogue or something in Malaysia or whatever. I forget what it was called. But I saw her afterwards. She was so grateful to me. Some years later when I gave a talk there, She was the MC and she told me that the best advice I gave her was that every year on the anniversary, closest to the anniversary she could get to her wedding, just herself and her husband, they'd go to a nice restaurant and just have a dinner together, just the two of them, no one else. Report an error in the passage at 8:49 Highlight the passage at 8:49

9:25 And when they went to have that dinner, they'd have some presents for each other. They kept them secret. And that I'd exchange those presents at the end of the dinner. Not just exchanging the presents. Whoever started first was the husband give the present to the wife and say, I'm not just giving you a present, I'm asking forgiveness of you. Report an error in the passage at 9:25 Highlight the passage at 9:25

9:57 If there's anything I've done, by body, by speech or by mind, Which has hurt you. Either I did it on purpose because I was angry and upset. I'm not a perfect husband. Or things I didn't do, which I should have done. Please, I ask you forgiveness. And then he hands the present over and the other partner says the same back, this time the wife to the husband. Report an error in the passage at 9:57 Highlight the passage at 9:57

10:30 If there's anything I've done, by body, speech or mind, that's about everything you can do. Either intentional or unintentional, or things I didn't do. I'm just an ordinary woman, I try my best. I do make mistakes. Please, I ask forgiveness. And the forgiveness, this is what it says, I remember reading this in the suttas, the Buddha said, if anybody sincerely asks you for forgiveness, no matter what it is, you must always give it. Report an error in the passage at 10:30 Highlight the passage at 10:30

11:04 Always. Give them a chance. Let them learn and learn and learn. And this lady told me when she was an MC at one of my talks, she said, I'm coming to give my time this evening to be your MC simply because of all the things which you said at that marriage ceremony. That was the one which meant the most. We keep on practicing that. The reason I've got my own TV show, I'm supposed to be very attractive, very beautiful. Report an error in the passage at 11:04 Highlight the passage at 11:04

11:41 And he's one of the producers. So of course, there's always a tendency to doubt the other person, to think they may be attracted to somebody else. But every year we do that, ask forgiveness of each other. And that has kept our marriage alive for so long. Thank you. Report an error in the passage at 11:41 Highlight the passage at 11:41

12:07 Now that's kind of the type of gossip which I like. It's actually talking about things which you do which are personal but which are very, very helpful for peace and tranquility and keeps the marriage alive and keeps harmony in the family. Report an error in the passage at 12:07 Highlight the passage at 12:07

12:30 That's good gossip. Unfortunately, there's other types of gossip which aren't so helpful. When I mention I'm going to talk about gossip, I think that's the one which you thought I was going to talk about. So I better satisfy you by saying one example of the gossip which is very harmful and that's the story of those four priests. Report an error in the passage at 12:30 Highlight the passage at 12:30

12:54 They were in a little ceremony or like a conference where they were talking about the importance of confession, the importance of sharing with your close friends any faults you have done and making sure that you Telling your friends you won't have to do them again. And I'm sure that you remember that many times, sitting here, I've confessed some of those situations which could be very embarrassing. Report an error in the passage at 12:54 Highlight the passage at 12:54

13:31 Do you remember examples of those? Many years ago, sitting right here, I confessed that many years ago, I spent some of the happiest hours of my life in the loving arms of another man's wife. Report an error in the passage at 13:31 Highlight the passage at 13:31

13:56 We kissed, we hugged, we loved each other. Report an error in the passage at 13:56 Highlight the passage at 13:56

14:04 That's true. That woman was my mother. Report an error in the passage at 14:04 Highlight the passage at 14:04

14:14 She's another man's wife, my dad's. We loved each other. That's before I was a monk. Report an error in the passage at 14:14 Highlight the passage at 14:14

14:29 But also, I told the story of the four priests. And those four priests had a conference on confession and being honest and truthful. So the first one said, this has been bothering me for such a long time. Report an error in the passage at 14:29 Highlight the passage at 14:29

14:48 And he said that sometimes, like Australians are, he said, I can't help but gamble. I love the horse racing, basically anything. And if there's any sort of donations, half of them, You know, I think, well, you know, if I win, I can put them all back in the donation box, but I always lose. And I'm a terrible gambler. Report an error in the passage at 14:48 Highlight the passage at 14:48

15:16 I needed to tell someone, because when I confess it, maybe I can stop. And so the other priest was shocked at him. But he said, I feel so much better having told someone I trust. I looked at the second priest and asked, do you want to confess anything? Report an error in the passage at 15:16 Highlight the passage at 15:16

15:38 And he was looking at the table and he said, okay, I suppose I better. And he said that alcohol, he said, I just can't resist it. You know on a Monday when I don't have to do any work, I go to the bottle shop and get a bottle of whiskey and I drink it. No one knows, they haven't found out yet. But I'm an alcoholic. Imagine that, a priest being an alcoholic. Report an error in the passage at 15:38 Highlight the passage at 15:38

16:09 That's terrible. They looked at the third monk, the third, not monk, the third priest there. Please don't tell the punchline yet. Report an error in the passage at 16:09 Highlight the passage at 16:09

16:20 You tell the punchline that, okay, that's okay. So the third monk said, honestly, I can't tell you my worst fault. I'm too embarrassed. And they finally got it out of him. He said it was one of the women in the congregation. He was having an affair with her. He said, that's terrible. He said, but at least you confessed, that's very good. Report an error in the passage at 16:20 Highlight the passage at 16:20

16:56 Then they looked at the fourth priest there. The fourth priest said, honestly, I can't tell you. He said, we've confessed our worst faults. How come you can't tell us? Look, I can't. Please don't ask me. You don't want to know. But there's three against one. And eventually he had to give in. What's your worst fault? Report an error in the passage at 16:56 Highlight the passage at 16:56

17:20 He said, I'm a gossip. I Report an error in the passage at 17:20 Highlight the passage at 17:20

17:29 can't stop myself. Report an error in the passage at 17:29 Highlight the passage at 17:29

17:38 So now you know why gossiping is so bad. It's worse than spending money on gambling, worse than getting drunk, worse than adultery. Report an error in the passage at 17:38 Highlight the passage at 17:38

17:52 Gossiping is the worst of them all. So that's why it's also the case that sometimes we see something, we hear something and it's true. Report an error in the passage at 17:52 Highlight the passage at 17:52

18:04 But it's not worth repeating. And I know many occasions I have been fortunate in my life as a monk. I keep on telling that story. I told this a lot when I was in Hong Kong last week. I teach in so many places. I spread so many stories around. Report an error in the passage at 18:04 Highlight the passage at 18:04

18:26 But I told that time. And I used to go down to Bunbury to teach in a prison there. And honestly, Honestly, some of the prisoners in the jails, they really, really, really wanted to make their life a much better life. That's why I kept on teaching in jails so often. I always kept a record of how many hours I would spend inside jails volunteering to teach the prisoners, just in case one day I got convicted of something and I could have so much credit. Report an error in the passage at 18:26 Highlight the passage at 18:26

19:08 I said, it doesn't work that way. But anyway, I kind of enjoyed teaching down there. And there was, you know, sometimes you wonder, you know, are all people who get put in jail, are they all guilty of their offenses? Report an error in the passage at 19:08 Highlight the passage at 19:08

19:30 And there's this one guy, this old guy, over in Karnat prison farm, he said, can I have just a private word with you? I said, of course. And he told me, and I knew him, I realized he was telling the truth. He said, the crime, you know, this burglary for which I was put in jail, I didn't do. Report an error in the passage at 19:30 Highlight the passage at 19:30

19:56 I didn't do it, he said. I was accused, had a trial, was convicted. I was innocent. I didn't do it. How would you think when someone said that? And he said, I know that many other people would lie to you. Just to get out of jail. But I'm not lying to you. I trust you. I respect you. I did not do that crime. And by that time of visiting jails often, I knew that prisoners didn't have that much opportunity to fight for freedom when they were wrongly accused. Report an error in the passage at 19:56 Highlight the passage at 19:56

20:36 So I kept on thinking. I closed my eyes and started thinking, what lawyers do I know who could take on that? A case for free. And then this guy, he made me open my eyes. He was smiling at me. Report an error in the passage at 20:36 Highlight the passage at 20:36

20:55 But Ajahn Brahm, there were so many other burglaries where I was not caught. I guess it's fair. It's karma. This one I didn't do, but many other ones I did do and I got away with it. And sometimes I kind of recall many people saying, They were fined by the police for speeding and sometimes you think that's unfair. Everybody else was speeding at the same time. Report an error in the passage at 20:55 Highlight the passage at 20:55

21:32 But how many times have you been speeding in your car and you weren't caught? I said afterwards, thank you sir, to the prisoner, you've been teaching me the law of karma. He said, yes, you should know much better Ajahn Brahm. Report an error in the passage at 21:32 Highlight the passage at 21:32

21:54 When you get punished for something you didn't do, how many times did you do it, but you weren't punished, you got away with it. The law of karma comes around. That's the type of gossip I like, about just telling you how to look at these things. But anyway, when I did go down to Bunbury Prison, I had a free afternoon. Report an error in the passage at 21:54 Highlight the passage at 21:54

22:15 I didn't take a car down there. As a monk, you can't drive. And so I took the Australin down there. I had a free afternoon. You know, interestingly, where I stayed at night after going to the prison teaching, coming back to Bunbury, was with the Catholics. They were really kind. They said, oh, you can use the parish house. And I remember just, I would, the first time I went there, and I arrived in the Australian just after lunchtime, and they said, oh, do you want some lunch? Report an error in the passage at 22:15 Highlight the passage at 22:15

22:51 It was after 12, and I said, no, I can't. And then they said, well, here's your room. And when I went there, of course, I slept on the floor. And then one of the priests there said, I overheard him saying, these monks are really weird. They don't eat and they don't sleep. Report an error in the passage at 22:51 Highlight the passage at 22:51

23:19 I said, no, I do eat. It's before noon. And sleep on the floor, because that's how I was brought up in Thailand, as a monk. You're very comfortable. You don't need a bed. So anyhow, most afternoons instead of staying with the Catholics, I never told them that story about the four priests. Report an error in the passage at 23:19 Highlight the passage at 23:19

23:41 I didn't say that story to them. But anyhow, that sometimes, you know, instead of staying in the parish house, just round the back there was the beach, Bunbury Beach. It's a long beach. It was a nice warm day but not too hot and I had three or four hours of nothing to do. Instead of staying in a parish house, I went down the beach, found a nice quiet spot, crossed my legs and started meditating. You know what happened? Report an error in the passage at 23:41 Highlight the passage at 23:41

24:22 After starting meditating, I got into a very nice meditation, very deep, and so that's where all the outside vanishes. He's enjoying just watching inside. And so as I was meditating deeply for two hours, when I opened my eyes after two hours, the beach had changed. Report an error in the passage at 24:22 Highlight the passage at 24:22

24:45 There were people on the beach, kids swimming and playing around in the surf. And then I realized there was someone sitting next to me. And I turned around. What I saw sitting next to me, honestly, was this beautiful blonde 17 year old girl in a bikini. And Report an error in the passage at 24:45 Highlight the passage at 24:45

25:17 I looked and there was another person sitting on my other side and there was a brunette in a bikini, a beautiful 17 year old. Report an error in the passage at 25:17 Highlight the passage at 25:17

25:30 Now imagine, imagine that someone had a camera and there they saw this bald headed guy in brown robe sitting next to two beautiful girls. Report an error in the passage at 25:30 Highlight the passage at 25:30

25:45 What would you have thought? Would you have put that in the BSWA newsletter? Report an error in the passage at 25:45 Highlight the passage at 25:45

25:55 So I asked them what they were doing. What happened? It was in, I think, October, November. It was the, what they call it, the end of the year exams. And these were the year 12s. You know, the last exam of the year 12 exams. That's why I knew they were 17. They'd just finished that afternoon. And what did you do if you finished your end of year exams in Australia? Report an error in the passage at 25:55 Highlight the passage at 25:55

26:22 And your school is right next to the beach. You go and get changed into your bathers and you play around in a surf. That's what these two had intended to do. But then they saw this bald-headed brown-robed figure sitting perfectly still. Didn't even respond to them at first because I was in deep meditation. Report an error in the passage at 26:22 Highlight the passage at 26:22

26:45 And they must have asked me something. And they decided they're going to sit on either side of me, make sure I don't escape. Report an error in the passage at 26:45 Highlight the passage at 26:45

26:54 So they can ask me the questions, they were interested, they were fascinating. How can a person sit so peacefully like that? So they asked me afterwards when I came out of meditation, we just want to ask a couple of questions like who are you, what are you doing? And how can you be so still and peaceful? So I did, you know, nice answers afterwards. And I said, but I think I have to go now. Report an error in the passage at 26:54 Highlight the passage at 26:54

27:19 I have to go to make sure no one gets a camera out. How can you explain that? It's almost... If someone had taken a photo and gossiped about it, that would be the end of me as a monk. That's the other reason why I don't like gossip. Because sometimes, you know, you think you know what's happening and it's totally wrong. Even one time, I was with two beautiful girls, another time I had to go in a pub in Pinjara. Report an error in the passage at 27:19 Highlight the passage at 27:19

28:02 And what happened there, it was I think the Rotary Club or something like that. You know they have all these Rotary Clubs in places like pubs. And they say it's in the room in the back. So when I went to the front, is there any other way to get to that room in the back instead of through the bar? Report an error in the passage at 28:02 Highlight the passage at 28:02

28:22 No, they said. And the vehicle which had dropped me off in front of the pub in Pinjara, just 30km south of the monastery. They'd already gone somewhere else. What do you do? You're left on your own. And you've got an appointment to give a talk on Buddhism or meditation for the Rotary Club. And the only way to get in there is through the bar. So, what would you do? I put my head down. Report an error in the passage at 28:22 Highlight the passage at 28:22

28:55 I said, OK, I'm going for it. I walked as fast as I could. Every time I've done something like that, there's always something that goes wrong. Report an error in the passage at 28:55 Highlight the passage at 28:55

29:09 I was walking, I saw myself, I could see where the door was. Someone put their hand on my shoulder, Ajahn Brahm, what do you want to drink? Report an error in the passage at 29:09 Highlight the passage at 29:09

29:23 They recognized me, they were inviting me for a beer. I said, no, I can't take it, I'm going in the room. See you in there. So I managed to escape. But again, what would have happened if you'd have seen a monk in a bar? Even worse than that. Can you imagine what's worse than that? Report an error in the passage at 29:23 Highlight the passage at 29:23

29:46 This is the worst one, that because, I think it was Jipi, she's the one, I think I told the story before, when she had serious panic attacks over in Adelaide University. Report an error in the passage at 29:46 Highlight the passage at 29:46

30:04 And they were so serious, even though she was in the university, the university medical department couldn't help her. So her father, who was a Buddhist over here, He said, give a call to Ajahn Brahm, he might be able to do something. And I taught her to overcome those panic attacks during the rains retreat, so I could not go and visit. Report an error in the passage at 30:04 Highlight the passage at 30:04

30:31 So the first piece of advice I gave her, when you have panic attacks, how do they feel? Please describe the pain, is it a contraction pain, a burning pain, just a pain, pain, what does it feel like? Report an error in the passage at 30:31 Highlight the passage at 30:31

30:48 And then she tried to give an answer, said, that's not good enough. Give me a call in another three days. And she had nothing to do. She was bedridden. Every time she got out of bed, she couldn't make it to the door without having another panic attack. She had to go straight back into bed. She had a very good boyfriend called Lloyd. Report an error in the passage at 30:48 Highlight the passage at 30:48

31:15 And Lloyd would look clean for her, cook for her, look after her. I don't know these names, Lloyd. Report an error in the passage at 31:15 Highlight the passage at 31:15

31:20 It was like a boyfriend from heaven looking after her. You don't get many boyfriends like that these days. And anyhow, Lloyd would look after her and after three days she called again and she told me a really good description of how it feels when you have a panic attack. I said, very good, next question. Where does that pain manifest? She said, in my chest. Report an error in the passage at 31:20 Highlight the passage at 31:20

31:50 Not good enough. I want coordinates. From your navel, your belly button, how many millimeters up and where's the middle of it? Is it more to the left side, more to the right side? I want a really good description. Again, nothing else to do. It gave her control over her cure. She was doing it. And then after another three days, she called back and then she said, it was... Report an error in the passage at 31:50 Highlight the passage at 31:50

32:22 was like so many millimeters above her navel, more to this side than that side, really intense in this place and not in the other place. Excellent. Report an error in the passage at 32:22 Highlight the passage at 32:22

32:37 The next instruction. I want you, whenever you have a panic attack like that, to take your hand and massage that area. Massage it with as much kindness and care as you possibly can manage. as it lasted, this is how it developed and eventually disappeared. Excellent. Report an error in the passage at 32:37 Highlight the passage at 32:37

32:55 And I said, if you can't do that because you're tired, get your boyfriend Lloyd to massage it. I'm sure he would never complain. And Report an error in the passage at 32:55 Highlight the passage at 32:55

33:13 give me another call in three days. So after nine days of treatment by phone, she told me what happened. That when either she or her boyfriend massaged that area, the pain disappeared. Marvelous. Once the pain disappeared, then what did you feel? And that's actually when she paused. Report an error in the passage at 33:13 Highlight the passage at 33:13

33:41 I've told this story before. That's when she had like a eureka moment. The light bulb turned on. She said, when that physical pain disappeared, the panic wasn't there. The panic left. And I said, well done. Now you know how to deal with your panic attacks. Report an error in the passage at 33:41 Highlight the passage at 33:41

34:06 It worked. She went back to university in a few days and the panic attack had finished, all of them, and she was so impressed by this Buddhist monk that she nominated me for Australian of the Year. Report an error in the passage at 34:06 Highlight the passage at 34:06

34:26 I didn't win it, but I know at one of the ceremonies where they were awarding all this, they said it was over in Burswood Ballroom. Report an error in the passage at 34:26 Highlight the passage at 34:26

34:44 I'd never been to Burr's Wood before. So I asked our president at that time, Sol Hanna. Some of you remember him, Sol. He hadn't been to those joints before, but it was a really heavy rainstorm that night. Report an error in the passage at 34:44 Highlight the passage at 34:44

35:04 So we drove as close as we could, you know, but we couldn't really see. It was raining and it was dark. So we saw a door which was kind of open. He parked his car, we ran into there, we didn't have umbrellas. And then when we went into the big complex, we didn't know one place in that complex from another. Report an error in the passage at 35:04 Highlight the passage at 35:04

35:25 It's many, many things in that complex. We were looking for the ballroom where they were holding this event. And as we were walking, we passed this door with all these bright lights flashing. Report an error in the passage at 35:25 Highlight the passage at 35:25

35:43 And so we went a little way in before we realized that was a casino. That was Ajahn Brahm and the president of the BSWA walking into the casino. Report an error in the passage at 35:43 Highlight the passage at 35:43

36:03 And straight away, as soon as we recognized what it was, we said, we'd better get out of here quick before again someone photographs. What would you think? Ajahn Brahm and Sohan, the president of BSWA, had been seen in the casino. Report an error in the passage at 36:03 Highlight the passage at 36:03

36:19 How could you live that one down? That's why sometimes gossip, part of it is true, but part of it is just unfortunate circumstances and you don't really need to be criticized. But if I said that at that time, enough people would feel that's gossip worthy. That's one of the reasons I tell you those stories before you find out and just misinterpret them. Report an error in the passage at 36:19 Highlight the passage at 36:19

36:48 A lot of gossip is misinterpretation. And it really hurts. That's one of the reasons why always doubt when it's something somebody you've seen, someone you've known. I have the advantage of number one being old, so I can't get up to much mischief in my age. Report an error in the passage at 36:48 Highlight the passage at 36:48

37:14 And number two, you've known me for so many years. I've been serving the BSWA for about 43 years, 42 years? I'm not quite sure exactly how long. That's a long time. So any thoughts, you've seen them many times before, especially the bad jokes which I say. Report an error in the passage at 37:14 Highlight the passage at 37:14

37:41 And somebody, I was telling a joke this afternoon at Bodhinyana Monastery before I left at lunchtime. And they asked me, have you ever told that joke at Nalumara? I think I did. They said, no, you wouldn't. Dare to do that joke here. So here it comes. I'm keeping my promise. That was of the chicken farmer over here in Western Australia. Report an error in the passage at 37:41 Highlight the passage at 37:41

38:11 You know, he's making eggs. So he had a lot of chickens. But his rooster, it's a rooster story. I remember he could tell, who was it? He said, I will never tell that. I think it was Niputa, wasn't it? Yeah, you can tell him you heard it today. Ajahn Brahm actually said this. Report an error in the passage at 38:11 Highlight the passage at 38:11

38:34 So this, this farmer had a very old rooster. So he said he's getting a bit too old now and a lot of eggs is not that much so I better get a new rooster. Report an error in the passage at 38:34 Highlight the passage at 38:34

38:48 So he went to the rooster shop, I don't know. Where do they sell roosters? Don't say red rooster. Report an error in the passage at 38:48 Highlight the passage at 38:48

38:57 He went to the rooster shop and bought a new one. And of course the old rooster was getting pretty scared. Having a new rooster would be out of a job. So the old rooster said, look, instead of fighting, which is what they usually do, we'll have a competition. The competition, three times around the shed, whoever wins gets all the other roosters, and the one who loses has to depart. Report an error in the passage at 38:57 Highlight the passage at 38:57

39:29 Wherever he goes, it's his concern. Do you agree? So the old rooster and the young rooster agreed, and they got one of the female chickens. To have a little flag, actually to start off the race. But I made sure the old rooster said, look, I am older than you. You should give me like a few yards in front. So they gave me about five or six yards in front. Then the chicken, female chicken, put down the flag and off they went. Report an error in the passage at 39:29 Highlight the passage at 39:29

40:06 And the old rooster, it's amazing how fit the old rooster was. After the first time around the shed, the young rooster had hardly made up any ground at all. For the second time around the shed, Report an error in the passage at 40:06 Highlight the passage at 40:06

40:25 there's a trouble when I tell jokes, I know the ending, so I keep laughing way before the ending. Report an error in the passage at 40:25 Highlight the passage at 40:25

40:33 So the second time around the shed, the young rooster was almost catching up. And then there's a big sound of a gun, a shotgun go off, and the farmer shot. Report an error in the passage at 40:33 Highlight the passage at 40:33

40:51 Dead, the young rooster. That was the old rooster's plan all along. The old farmer said, just my luck, that's another gay rooster I brought. Report an error in the passage at 40:51 Highlight the passage at 40:51

41:13 That's why he thought he was chasing the old rooster. See, I did tell it, didn't I? Report an error in the passage at 41:13 Highlight the passage at 41:13

41:23 Was I supposed to tell that joke? Report an error in the passage at 41:23 Highlight the passage at 41:23

41:28 No, but I did anyway. Report an error in the passage at 41:28 Highlight the passage at 41:28

41:33 I know sometimes you say, oh yeah, monks shouldn't tell jokes like that. But then you tell other people that, don't you? So anyhow, that's what gossip does. Gossip looks at whatever you do and sees a bad side of it and tells everybody else. Why do we do that? A lot of time because we're bored. And sometimes telling people's faults or exaggerating those faults, sometimes that makes us feel important in life. Report an error in the passage at 41:33 Highlight the passage at 41:33

42:08 Do you look at newspapers? Report an error in the passage at 42:08 Highlight the passage at 42:08

42:12 I confess, I get a newspaper every Saturday. Report an error in the passage at 42:12 Highlight the passage at 42:12

42:20 You see me receiving that newspaper? What do I do with that newspaper? Sorry? The cryptic crosswords and the Sudoku puzzle. That's all. The rest of the stuff is rubbish. Report an error in the passage at 42:20 Highlight the passage at 42:20

42:39 The reason I do those things is because I enjoy them, number one. And number two, I want to check up that my brain is not sort of failing. Report an error in the passage at 42:39 Highlight the passage at 42:39

42:52 The Sudoku puzzles, it's just logic. And I like making sure I keep my brain alive and fit. And the cryptic crosswords, that's also some logic, but challenges me to make sure my command of English is still strong. That's why I do those ones. I think the latest one I had before I went overseas to Thailand, Was this like a blooming motor race. Blooming motor race. And the solution was carnation. Report an error in the passage at 42:52 Highlight the passage at 42:52

43:34 A car-nation. Like a motor race. Blooming means a flower. A carnation. That's how weird they are. But I like it. It's a challenge once you get to understand what they're up to. And then it makes my brain sharp enough. To deal with so many lay people as well. Because that's, you know, that's what I do. But I don't read the other stuff in there. Just all scandals and stuff and bombs and stuff. Report an error in the passage at 43:34 Highlight the passage at 43:34

44:06 Who wants to read about that? That's why I talk about what I hope you'll feel as positive stuff. Not gossip. Did you hear about what somebody did? If I did see it with my own eyes, I remember all the things which other people might have seen. with me sitting next to two beautiful ladies on the beach in bikinis and me walking by mistake into the casino with our past president of me just walking through a bar just to get to a rotary club meeting. Report an error in the passage at 44:06 Highlight the passage at 44:06

44:48 So sometimes it's so easy to misunderstand, misinterpret and then The gossip comes and it causes so much hurt in the world. How many times have you been the subject of gossip? It's totally unfounded or just interpreting something which is not real. Report an error in the passage at 44:48 Highlight the passage at 44:48

45:13 That's why it's nice not to listen to gossip. And even if a person does make a mistake, let the person confess it. Say, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have... I should have been a bit more careful to get a plan of the Birdswood complex. I knew where the casino was, where the ballroom was. You know what I really remember about that ballroom, the event? Report an error in the passage at 45:13 Highlight the passage at 45:13

45:40 They had to have entertainment. You know what entertainment they had? They had a... Someone will be upset at me about saying this. They had a bagpipe band. And where I was seated, the bagpipe... The band marched right towards my table. Oh, that was suffering. It was so loud. And then turned around and walked the other direction. I thought, wow, thank you. And then they turned around and marched back again. Report an error in the passage at 45:40 Highlight the passage at 45:40

46:23 Bagpipes I don't mind when they're at a distance. When you're sitting down, you can't move. That really was torture. Sorry if there's anyone from Scotland here. Or from Ireland. But they are very noisy instruments. But anyhow, that was some of the confessions which I make. And this is why, you know, my understandings and experience with gossip, that's why I always try never to say bad things about anybody without explaining them. Report an error in the passage at 46:23 Highlight the passage at 46:23

47:01 Even past presidents of the Buddhist Society of Western Australia. Report an error in the passage at 47:01 Highlight the passage at 47:01

47:08 What bad things have you experienced? You're not going to gossip? No, you've been a good president. Thank you so much. And thank you all for listening to the talk today on gossip. Report an error in the passage at 47:08 Highlight the passage at 47:08

47:23 Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu! Okay, now we have questions. Report an error in the passage at 47:23 Highlight the passage at 47:23

47:42 Yeah, of course. Oh, there's somebody who's asking. Prem. Report an error in the passage at 47:42 Highlight the passage at 47:42

47:50 Oh, we've got some questions on. Ajahn, it's not only verbal, I guess, written discussions. Oh, yeah. Like these days, when we specifically mention the group who had a pilgrimage to Thailand recently, and they have a group chat line on one of the social media platforms, and they... They discuss what they saw, how they got inspired, what is new, anything they learned new, etc., etc., and another one contributes to that. Report an error in the passage at 47:50 Highlight the passage at 47:50

48:30 I think that is also this Buddhist gossip that you mentioned, kind of, isn't it? It's a good thing and it makes one inspired and helps. Inspired, yeah. If it creates inspiration, creates happiness, creates peace, joy, fine. But it's the gossip which looks at a person, maybe you don't like, puts him or her down and creates a huge amount of pain and suffering for them. Report an error in the passage at 48:30 Highlight the passage at 48:30

49:00 So that's why gossip which is negative, please never do that. I just deserve a few questions here. Thank you Ajahn. Question from Germany. Dear Ajahn, please explain the difference between the seventh and eighth factor of the Eightfold Path. Please elaborate on step seven and step eight. Thank you. We only have, you know, one or two minutes for each question. Report an error in the passage at 49:00 Highlight the passage at 49:00

49:27 So this is actually a long, give a whole two or three talks on this. But the seventh factor of the eightfold path should not be separated from the other factors as well. Report an error in the passage at 49:27 Highlight the passage at 49:27

49:41 Seventh is like mindfulness, but mindfulness should always be interpreted. With the second factor of the Eightfold Path which includes kindness. That's why instead of saying just mindfulness, kindfulness. Report an error in the passage at 49:41 Highlight the passage at 49:41

49:59 Because you find if you're aware of something and you're kind to it, you can stay there much longer. And it's much more powerful, much more gentle if you add the kindness. Report an error in the passage at 49:59 Highlight the passage at 49:59

50:13 And the Eightfold, the eighth factor of the Eightfold Path is the stillness. And that happens when many things disappear. You're sitting there and your body disappears. You can't feel your hands, you can't feel your butt, you can't feel your head. Even your breath disappears. If any of you ever look at the Ānāpānasati Sutta of the Majjhima Nikaya, there you will find the Buddha stating, anyone who completes the Ānāpānasati also completes the four Satipaṭṭhānas. Report an error in the passage at 50:13 Highlight the passage at 50:13

50:55 Anyone who completes the Four Satipaṭṭhānas also completes the Eight Factors of Enlightenment. Report an error in the passage at 50:55 Highlight the passage at 50:55

51:11 So basically, the seventh factor is almost part of, but especially leads to, The eighth factor, the stillness. How the Buddha described the eighth factor called stillness, samādhi, always said, what is samādhi? It's always the four jhānas. That's where the awareness of the body vanishes. You're just aware of the mind. In brief, if you haven't heard his... Actually, I'm supposed to do a sutta class next week. Report an error in the passage at 51:11 Highlight the passage at 51:11

51:55 I know I gave the Sutta class over in Hong Kong of just the Ānāpānasati Sutta. It's explaining these points in far more detail. Report an error in the passage at 51:55 Highlight the passage at 51:55

52:08 People think they know Ānāpānasati. So can I do that next week? Or Sunday? In much more detail. Especially how the first four steps of Ānāpānasati, mindfulness of the breath, that's awareness. Through the sense of bodily touch of the breath. And then the next four steps, they differ because now you're aware of the breath through the mind. Report an error in the passage at 52:08 Highlight the passage at 52:08

52:41 You don't feel the breath, you know the breath. In Pāli, the first steps are kaya-sankhama. They're made from the body. The next four stages are citta-sankhama. That's why they appear joyful and happy, pīti and sukha. And that's why they lead into the deep meditations not feeling the body anymore. You're knowing it. The jitta is what's active. Report an error in the passage at 52:41 Highlight the passage at 52:41

53:10 And that becomes just how the mindfulness leads to the incredible jhānas. That's really going more up my street than gossip. Report an error in the passage at 53:10 Highlight the passage at 53:10

53:24 Question from Poland. Dear Ajahn, does karma work even if bad action is made by insane person? No. If you are insane, not in your right mind, Then the karmic consequences are hardly ever there or very, very weak. The amount of Jaina of will you have determines whether it's strong or weak or non-karma. Report an error in the passage at 53:24 Highlight the passage at 53:24

53:54 Question for Ajahn Brahm. How to not miss something or someone or an experience? Would appreciate your thoughts. How to not miss something? Usually, In my life you meet so many people and when one nice person disappears, there's always another nice person comes next. So you don't miss people. Report an error in the passage at 53:54 Highlight the passage at 53:54

54:18 You just have a whole progression of nice people. If you lost, say, a $100 note, they do have $100 notes, if you missed one, would you be sad? Not if you were Bill Gates. Report an error in the passage at 54:18 Highlight the passage at 54:18

54:40 You have many others coming afterwards. You don't miss one. You miss one. Why are you attached to that person or that event? There's so many other events out there for you. Report an error in the passage at 54:40 Highlight the passage at 54:40

54:54 I hope that makes sense. Last question. Dear Ajahn Brahm, I live in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA. I want to know how I should be peaceful as a minority in the LGBTQIA plus community. Report an error in the passage at 54:54 Highlight the passage at 54:54

55:10 Fortunately, in many places they do have Roars, which everybody supports. I'm not quite sure the last time I went to Salt Lake City was when I was only 18 or 17 at the time. Report an error in the passage at 55:10 Highlight the passage at 55:10

55:29 There was a gap year before I could go to university. And I didn't really appreciate many people there. There was one friend of a friend who I stayed with, but not for that long. I'm not quite sure if they've changed or how they've changed. Report an error in the passage at 55:29 Highlight the passage at 55:29

55:46 But even if you're in a minority, like as a Buddhist monk, I've been in a minority here in Perth for so many years. You try and make those friendships to make sure that people respect you no matter who you are. Report an error in the passage at 55:46 Highlight the passage at 55:46

56:06 I don't know if I answered those questions adequately or not, but each one of those questions are huge questions. You can give a whole talk on them. Report an error in the passage at 56:06 Highlight the passage at 56:06

56:15 First of all, to make those friends, With people not part of your community. I say, just like when I went over to Bunbury for the first time, it's hard to stay in a hotel or a guest house because you don't have any money as a monk. The person who invited me into the prison said, well, I think you can stay with these Catholics. Report an error in the passage at 56:15 Highlight the passage at 56:15

56:43 A few times I sat down with them in the evening to discuss with them what their lives are like, how they felt. Even over here, I got used as a Buddhist monk with the Anglicans as well. You know why we got this place here? This used to be an Anglican church. This was their car park here. And that was the place where the priest stayed. Report an error in the passage at 56:43 Highlight the passage at 56:43

57:14 In the place next door and where we have the community hall, that used to be their church. And quite a few times I received invitations to help them with community work. Report an error in the passage at 57:14 Highlight the passage at 57:14

57:28 And we were so well regarded that when we put an offer in to purchase this place as our city center, they said, who's it for? I said, the Buddhists. Oh, there they are. Okay, sure, no worries. Report an error in the passage at 57:28 Highlight the passage at 57:28

57:45 They had to get the head Christians, or head Anglicans here, to approve the Buddha's buying this place. And I was so well regarded that I forget what year it was, but it was apparently the first time in 2,000 years that a Buddhist monk, or anyone who was non-Anglican, gave the Sunday sermon in St. George's Cathedral. How many of you were there for that occasion? A couple? Only two of you. Report an error in the passage at 57:45 Highlight the passage at 57:45

58:19 Was that true? And how many people came to that event? I was sitting, not sitting, but standing in the pulpit and I saw everyone in front of me. Half of them were people I knew, they were Buddhists, and half of them I didn't know at all. They were Anglican. We crowded out the cathedral. Report an error in the passage at 58:19 Highlight the passage at 58:19

58:52 And I thought that was a wonderful act of harmony. You may have many things to criticize other people for, but instead of gossiping about them, the best thing was actually to do something with them, to create a sense of harmony and peace. Report an error in the passage at 58:52 Highlight the passage at 58:52

59:14 That was a wonderful event. And I still remember there was about four or five Anglicans protesting outside. You know, saying that church is going to go to hell or something. But anyway, they're protesting outside and a couple of the senior people in the church, they closed the doors against them, threw them out. Report an error in the passage at 59:14 Highlight the passage at 59:14

59:42 And so now this is the majority of the Anglicans wanted this to happen. We had a nice time there. We got our center here because of that. Actually we already had this center by then. Was that good? That's me gossiping again about good stuff. Report an error in the passage at 59:42 Highlight the passage at 59:42

1:00:08 The other thing I like to call... Okay, just one more story. I say one more story, or I'll get into trouble. But one of the other stories which I really like, there was a Sri Lankan monk a few years ago, and he was a blood donor like many people are, like many monks are. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:08 Highlight the passage at 1:00:08

1:00:30 And he also put his name on the register. If anyone needs one of his organs, of course he would donate it to them. He was an organ donor as well. And then he got a message from the blood bank. They found someone who really needed his kidney. There was one problem. The person had a perfect match for his kind of blood type or DNA or whatever. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:30 Highlight the passage at 1:00:30

1:01:01 He was a born-again Christian in Sri Lanka. Going around converting the Buddhists. It was like the opposition. And so they asked him, is there any problem? He said, of course not. So he went to hospital and donated his kidney to a Christian. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:01 Highlight the passage at 1:01:01

1:01:31 And when the newspapers heard that story, that monk became very famous. He said, that's what people should be doing in religion. Someone needs something, you share it with them. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:31 Highlight the passage at 1:01:31

1:01:45 And so anyway, that monk then disappeared into the forest. He didn't want any attention. He didn't give his kidney to be famous. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:45 Highlight the passage at 1:01:45

1:01:57 So he went into the forest and disappeared for a while. And that really inspired me. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:57 Highlight the passage at 1:01:57

1:02:06 That's actually the gossip I'd like to share. The inspiring stories. Okay, your question sir. Good evening Ajahn Brahm. My question is about more or less us how you remind yourself not to gossip in the sense that How do you respond in a way that's mindful? First of all, Do you like people gossiping about you? No. That's one of the first things I recall. Number two, are you sure that's true? Report an error in the passage at 1:02:06 Highlight the passage at 1:02:06

1:03:03 And a lot of times it isn't. That's why when anybody gossips about any other monastery, sometimes, please tell me if there's any gossip. A lot of times it ain't true. And I need to tell people that. That can cause a lot of harm. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:03 Highlight the passage at 1:03:03

1:03:27 So whenever I hear gossip, even about any of you, sometimes I know you much better than other monks or other people here, and I always build you up and say, you don't deserve that gossip. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:27 Highlight the passage at 1:03:27

1:03:44 It's very easy to criticize others when you're actually there doing difficult jobs. You need a bit of understanding rather than criticism. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:44 Highlight the passage at 1:03:44

1:03:59 Often I get criticized myself. They say, Ajahn Brahm, you're not tough enough with others. But no, I want to create more peace and harmony and understanding, not be critical again like other people are. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:59 Highlight the passage at 1:03:59

1:04:20 This is how I am. I've been like this for years, taught by Ajahn Chah. So someone tells me all the terrible things they've done. I said, thank you for telling me. Did it hurt you? Oh yeah. Please learn never to do it again. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:20 Highlight the passage at 1:04:20

1:04:42 Don't put yourself in those positions. That's why one of the earliest stories I told here was a story about that Anagarika. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:42 Highlight the passage at 1:04:42

1:04:55 He was in training to be a novice or a monk later on, many years ago. And he asked me, he said, I haven't slept all night. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:55 Highlight the passage at 1:04:55

1:05:06 I broke one of my precepts last night. I just went into the kitchen and made myself a sandwich at midnight and ate it. He said, I'm terrible. And I said, look, thank you for telling me. I gave him all this advice on how he doesn't need to do that in the future. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:06 Highlight the passage at 1:05:06

1:05:28 He said, that's not good enough. He said, I need to be punished. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:28 Highlight the passage at 1:05:28

1:05:36 So, he said, I really need to be punished. If you don't punish me, I'll do it again. So I'd just been reading a book the day before, the evening before. I think it was Philip Hughes, The Fatal Shore, about some of the early history in Australia. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:36 Highlight the passage at 1:05:36

1:05:57 In those days, anyone who made a mistake was flogged with a whip. It was brutal. And I looked at this guy and I said, if you need a punishment, I'll give you 50 strokes of the cat. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:57 Highlight the passage at 1:05:57

1:06:20 He never expected that result. He thought I was going to whip him. He was wearing the white clothes of an Anagarika. His face went even more white than the clothes he was wearing. And I explained to him in a Buddhist monastery what fifty strokes of the cat is. At that time we had two cats. Kit Kat was one of them. Find Kit Kat, put it on your lap and stroke it one, two... Report an error in the passage at 1:06:20 Highlight the passage at 1:06:20

1:06:53 In a Buddhist monastery that's called 50 strokes of the cat. Learn some kindness so you can forgive yourself. So that's what I did. And these days we don't have any more cats in Bodhinyana Monastery because they kill too many birds. So usually there's a teddy bear somewhere, 50 strokes of the teddy. Learn Report an error in the passage at 1:06:53 Highlight the passage at 1:06:53

1:07:23 kindness. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:23 Highlight the passage at 1:07:23

1:07:28 Okay? Thank you. Thank you very much, Ajahn Brahm. Okay. Yes, you wanted to say something in the end. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:28 Highlight the passage at 1:07:28

1:07:37 Actually, I don't know if he realizes how famous Eddie is. I go overseas to Thailand and I say, how's Eddie? Report an error in the passage at 1:07:37 Highlight the passage at 1:07:37

1:07:50 Ajahn Brahm, actually you know, gossip is very important in the Buddha's teaching, what do you think? Gossip is speech. yeah, and then if we refer to the Four Noble Truths, the Eightfold Path, the path towards end of suffering, the third one is Right Speech. And if we speak bad thing to the person, you know okay yeah you can help the person because the person is he registers or he feels speak good the thing yeah he feels good okay and if you speak bad thing to the person the The person, you can harm the person too, you know. Oh, yes. You know, isn't it, Ajahn Brahm? Absolutely. So that's very important. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:50 Highlight the passage at 1:07:50

1:08:39 And also, Ajahn Brahm, what do you think? There's karma involved, you know. If you say bad things, okay, bad gossip, this thing, okay, you can't run away. My mum used to say, you know, not a word which you say wrong, you know, can you escape, you know. Yeah. There's retribution you know, you can't just say I say bad something, there's karma involved you know, you can get retribution from there, what do you think Ajahn Brahm? It's not just retribution, the person you say bad things to which aren't true, often commit suicide. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:39 Highlight the passage at 1:08:39

1:09:12 Yeah. Basically the bad speech, the gossip is responsible. So if you are going to say anything bad about somebody, make sure number one, is absolutely true. And sometimes you just can't say it's absolutely true. And if not, it's best to keep quiet. Or sometimes instead of gossip, you can speak good words to help the person. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:12 Highlight the passage at 1:09:12

1:09:36 Good words really help. To pacify the person, to help the person. Yes. And that's good karma. Indeed. Eddie, how long have I known you? Huh? How long have I known you? Oh, I've been here for a long time. How many times have I said, bad words about you. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. You know me, I know you. Yeah, first for long time, many years, first many years, you know me, I know you. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:36 Highlight the passage at 1:09:36

1:10:06 So which, which, you know? Yeah. You're saying yeah. So whatever we say, even... I'm just looking at which one of you I've known the longest. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:06 Highlight the passage at 1:10:06

1:10:21 Whichever one it is. How many times have I said a bad word about you? I don't do bad speech. Have I said any bad speech to you, venerable? So speech is very important Ajahn Brahm? Yes. Body, speech and mind, you commit the karma to body, speech and mind. So it's nice praising people. Whoever you are, whoever you are, you are welcome. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:21 Highlight the passage at 1:10:21

1:10:49 Each one of you. Thank you for listening. Thank you. So now we can bow three times. I don't know why there are so few people here today. Is it because of the retreat over at Jhāna Grove? Yeah. But anyway, I'll see you next week. And so anyone who doesn't come in next week should feel very guilty. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:49 Highlight the passage at 1:10:49

1:11:21 Thank you for all listening. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:21 Highlight the passage at 1:11:21