Helpful

0:00 The slightest thing that the wise would later reprove, wishing in gladness and in safety, may all beings be happy. Let none deceive another or despise any being in any state. Let none through anger or ill will wish harm upon another, even as a mother protects with her life her child, her only child. Report an error in the passage at 0:00 Highlight the passage at 0:00

0:46 boundless heart should one cherish all living beings Radiating kindness Report an error in the passage at 0:46 Highlight the passage at 0:46

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:56 is the born again Okay, Report an error in the passage at 1:56 Highlight the passage at 1:56

2:19 so this evening I thought I might do the no five hindrances meditation. So I guess most of you will have heard about the five hindrances and this actually can block your meditation from proceeding nicely. Report an error in the passage at 2:19 Highlight the passage at 2:19

2:50 So I'll give you a quick rundown on each one of them first. So the first is sensual desire. Basically this means you're attached to the world, the things of the world, whether it's actually mainly material things, whether it's actually, let's say, nice food or good music. Report an error in the passage at 2:50 Highlight the passage at 2:50

3:21 Basically things that excite the senses and shopping for some people could be one. So the first is sense desire and the second is ill will and this is veering towards anger and maybe things like jealousy as well. well. Basically Basically, wanting something that someone else already has or, you know, their success and their good fortune, things of that nature. Report an error in the passage at 3:21 Highlight the passage at 3:21

4:02 Or maybe they, you know, any irritation to us. So, that's another side. The next is basically sluggishness, tiredness. Also, it's called sloth and torpor, which is, yeah, I don't like that rendering. It just basically means you're sluggish and you're tired. Report an error in the passage at 4:02 Highlight the passage at 4:02

4:32 And the next one is restless and remorse. Restlessness comes from maybe just having a bit of excitement or busyness throughout the day, you know, a lot of problem solving, things of that nature. and maybe unresolved things that you have in your mind can make you restless and remorse is something that you've you know throughout the day you've done something or said something that hurt somebody and you know it's it stays in your mind until it's The fifth and the last is doubt. Report an error in the passage at 4:32 Highlight the passage at 4:32

5:17 And this could be doubt about yourself and your ability to meditate. Could be doubt about the teachings, the Buddha's teachings. Doubt about your teacher. So, yeah, so that's doubt. So, in meditation, so for tonight's session, what I like to suggest is before starting, well, look to see which of these five hindrances And hopefully, if you're lucky, you don't have any of them present in your mind. And it's good to see where you're at before you start the meditation. Report an error in the passage at 5:17 Highlight the passage at 5:17

5:59 And before we start the meditation, I also like to say a few things about what you can do about these things if any of them appears to you in your mind. So sensual desire is just knowing that it's actually not for your benefit. And it gives you instant pleasure, but there's usually consequences at the end that you have to pay. Report an error in the passage at 5:59 Highlight the passage at 5:59

6:28 Suffering is always in the background of that happiness, that hit that you get with your sensual pleasure. It doesn't last for too long. It never does. Unless you're in the deep states of meditation and you experience that bliss and that's actually not in the worldly sense, you're out of that. Report an error in the passage at 6:28 Highlight the passage at 6:28

6:54 And Report an error in the passage at 6:54 Highlight the passage at 6:54

6:57 with sluggishness and lethargy, sometimes maybe you just need to lie down. You need to show some kindness to yourself. You've had a pretty busy day. And you're really tired, why not have a half an hour nap before you start the meditation instead of sitting down, dozing off, nodding, which really doesn't get you anywhere. Report an error in the passage at 6:57 Highlight the passage at 6:57

7:28 Sometimes brisk walking, going for a brisk walk or doing some walking meditation is really good for sluggishness, tiredness. Report an error in the passage at 7:28 Highlight the passage at 7:28

7:39 And with restlessness, Breath meditation is good, but sometimes it's just really hard to move on to the breath meditation to calm down the mind, especially if you're a beginner to meditation. So with restlessness, I would suggest maybe just do something that you find peaceful, calming. And it could be just like listening to a piece of music or going and sitting in your garden or doing some walking meditation. Report an error in the passage at 7:39 Highlight the passage at 7:39

8:15 Right, those are some of the suggestions for that and remorse is, this is where you make an effort throughout your day, you know, just to be mindful about, you know, how you are around people, how you interact with people, right, you know, this and also the kind deeds you do throughout the day, you know, helping somebody and And, um, uh, this. Report an error in the passage at 8:15 Highlight the passage at 8:15

8:43 This means that when it comes to time for meditation, you don't have any remorse, you don't have any regrets. Your mind, your heart and your mind is free. Report an error in the passage at 8:43 Highlight the passage at 8:43

9:01 This gives you an opportunity to see how in the morning when you wake up, you make a resolution to say, I'm going to be calm. regrets. Report an error in the passage at 9:01 Highlight the passage at 9:01

9:10 And patient with the people I meet and the interactions that I have. And this will benefit me in my life and in my meditation practice. Report an error in the passage at 9:10 Highlight the passage at 9:10

9:24 So that's remorse and doubt. And this is a hard one actually. This is where you say, well, you know, my meditation, you know, I'm making an effort to sit. I do this so many times a day or once a day for however time that you wish to dedicate for the meditation. It doesn't matter how long it takes me. I have confidence in myself. I have confidence in the Buddha's teachings and the path he left for us. Report an error in the passage at 9:24 Highlight the passage at 9:24

10:02 And I trust in that. And I don't mind however long it takes. I will just continue. I will not give up. So this is the self-talk you can have around doubt. Also, you know, talk to your teacher as well. And I'm sure they can also give you some advice. But it's basically, you know, that self-positive talk that you, you know, have with yourself to gain that confidence. Report an error in the passage at 10:02 Highlight the passage at 10:02

10:39 Always at the end of the meditation, ask yourself, how do I feel? And you will always notice there is a difference, that there is even a small progress. And this is what keeps you going. This is what builds up the confidence. So always do that. Report an error in the passage at 10:39 Highlight the passage at 10:39

11:05 that Reflection at the end, see, you know, how did my practice go? What have I learned? And maybe, you know, what can I do differently next time? And this is where the review of the five hindrances, I think it's really useful to do that, you know. Where am I at? Where is my mind at before I commence this sit? It's something that just came to me. Report an error in the passage at 11:05 Highlight the passage at 11:05

11:36 This morning actually when I woke up, I thought, yeah, I'll do the five hindrances meditation because it just helps you to get to know where you're at. And I think that can be useful before the sitting meditation commences. So with that, let's commence the sitting meditation. Report an error in the passage at 11:36 Highlight the passage at 11:36

12:07 Before you make yourself comfortable, maybe spend a couple of minutes to ask yourself, are any of the five hindrances present? And if so, what can I do before I enter the meditation? Now normally outside this seat you would have more time and you will do the things that are anything that I haven't suggested that works for you to counter one of these hindrances. Report an error in the passage at 12:07 Highlight the passage at 12:07

12:43 But today, maybe just relax your body and make sure you're seated comfortably. Report an error in the passage at 12:43 Highlight the passage at 12:43

13:00 Follow your own meditation if that suits you and that's totally fine. Now Report an error in the passage at 13:00 Highlight the passage at 13:00

13:15 spend a few minutes and see whether any of the five hindrances are present. Take Report an error in the passage at 13:15 Highlight the passage at 13:15

· · · silence, 1 minute

14:19 a few deep breaths if you need to. Do any stretching that you need to to relax your body even more. And Report an error in the passage at 14:19 Highlight the passage at 14:19

14:34 once you're in the meditation if any of these hindrances overpower you Now this is when you actually have the patience and the kindness and the acceptance. You just sit with it. And Ajahn Brahm says things like tiredness, restlessness, if you just leave them alone, they will subside all by themselves without you interfering. Report an error in the passage at 14:34 Highlight the passage at 14:34

15:02 So inside the meditation, the best thing to do is to show them kindness and to leave them alone. Report an error in the passage at 15:02 Highlight the passage at 15:02

15:14 So I won't instruct anymore for the rest of the meditation, so let's just sit together. Report an error in the passage at 15:14 Highlight the passage at 15:14

· · · silence, 13 minutes

27:54 Before Report an error in the passage at 27:54 Highlight the passage at 27:54

· · · silence, 12 minutes

39:52 you come out of meditation and open your eyes, ask yourself gently, how do I feel compared to when I started? Is Report an error in the passage at 39:52 Highlight the passage at 39:52

40:13 there a little bit of calm, a little bit of peace, or even some joy? In this short period that you sat for, were Report an error in the passage at 40:13 Highlight the passage at 40:13

40:28 any of the five hindrances present? How did you deal with them? So Report an error in the passage at 40:28 Highlight the passage at 40:28

40:43 this is inquiring into cause and effect and it's a useful thing to do at the end of your sit. Report an error in the passage at 40:43 Highlight the passage at 40:43

41:04 Today's meditation sit we were actually doing a little bit of investigation, a little bit of active, the active side of meditation. meditation into seeing what our mind is doing. You can please open your eyes and come out of the meditation now. Report an error in the passage at 41:04 Highlight the passage at 41:04

41:35 this evening, I'd like to give a short talk on a nice little sutta that I found in the Anguttara Nikaya Book of Force, and it's called Helpful. Report an error in the passage at 41:35 Highlight the passage at 41:35

41:50 The Buddha actually spoke about four... Report an error in the passage at 41:50 Highlight the passage at 41:50

41:57 For human beings. And the first one is Report an error in the passage at 41:57 Highlight the passage at 41:57

42:06 associating with good spiritual friends. That's fairly straightforward. And the second is listening to dharma. So you need to find a good teacher for that, who is teaching from the early Buddhist scripts. Report an error in the passage at 42:06 Highlight the passage at 42:06

42:32 Also, alongside that, we should familiarize ourselves with the suttas. This is the Nikayas. And this is actually the Buddha's words. So it's the Buddha's words that we are interested in. And they come straight from the suttas. And the third is careful attention or wise attention. Report an error in the passage at 42:32 Highlight the passage at 42:32

43:04 In Pāli, it's known as Yoniso Manisikara, and it's a very important one. And the fourth is Report an error in the passage at 43:04 Highlight the passage at 43:04

43:22 actually living according to the Buddha's teachings. So it's the third and the last one that I like to concentrate on this evening. Report an error in the passage at 43:22 Highlight the passage at 43:22

43:38 I'll use the word wise attention because I actually like that careful, Careful attention is also nice. Why is attention so important? It is one of the factors alongside with listening to good teachers that the Buddha actually mentioned is helpful for stream entry. Right? Wise attention being the first one. Report an error in the passage at 43:38 Highlight the passage at 43:38

44:16 And a couple Report an error in the passage at 44:16 Highlight the passage at 44:16

44:22 of things that's actually mentioned in this sutta, in the notes, is that I talked about the five hindrances at the start, so I won't cover them again, but just knowing where they come from. Yoni so means actually going back to the source. Where, why does this... Report an error in the passage at 44:22 Highlight the passage at 44:22

44:57 with the hindrances you need to know where have they come from and why so that investigation is required and as I mentioned before it's actually very useful for meditation practice to know you know where you're at so that's the five hindrances side of things the next is actually maybe again Report an error in the passage at 44:57 Highlight the passage at 44:57

45:26 Having perceptions that are distorted. So, for example, seeing something as permanent when it's impermanent. Seeing something as happiness when it's actually suffering. Seeing the beauty of something when it's ugly. Report an error in the passage at 45:26 Highlight the passage at 45:26

45:54 Perceptions is around all these examples that I've mentioned. And now the difficult one is, of course, you know, seeing non-self as self. Report an error in the passage at 45:54 Highlight the passage at 45:54

46:13 So I'll Report an error in the passage at 46:13 Highlight the passage at 46:13

46:21 start with the permanent, seeing something impermanent as permanent. A classical example of that is our human life, right? Report an error in the passage at 46:21 Highlight the passage at 46:21

46:34 Some people have this concept that we will live forever, that our loved ones will live forever. But that's not the case. Report an error in the passage at 46:34 Highlight the passage at 46:34

46:44 Even in our normal circumstances in our life, in our daily life, our jobs are not guaranteed. The partner that we are with is not set in stone. Report an error in the passage at 46:44 Highlight the passage at 46:44

46:59 The good conditions we have at present, is that going to last forever? Right? Is the happiness, you know, that I'm currently feeling, is that going to last? All these things, you know, things in nature, all of them come to an end. All of them change. And Report an error in the passage at 46:59 Highlight the passage at 46:59

47:29 it is just, you know, seeing this and accepting it and not be sad when things change. When, you know, people we love depart. The Report an error in the passage at 47:29 Highlight the passage at 47:29

47:54 next one, seeing happiness in suffering. A Report an error in the passage at 47:54 Highlight the passage at 47:54

48:02 lot of us who are living out there in the world, if you don't have a reasonable understanding of the Buddha's teachings, you go looking for happiness somewhere outside of yourself. Report an error in the passage at 48:02 Highlight the passage at 48:02

48:26 You're continuously searching for that. Whether it's that ideal partner or some gratification that you think will give you happiness. Whether it's shopping or some addiction like smoking or drugs. Going to the movies. I mean going to the movies and listening to music. There's nothing wrong with that. But these things as long as you're not using them as an escape. Report an error in the passage at 48:26 Highlight the passage at 48:26

48:59 escape from facing your problems, from seeing reality, the reality in life. Report an error in the passage at 48:59 Highlight the passage at 48:59

49:10 So that's actually looking for happiness outside yourself. Report an error in the passage at 49:10 Highlight the passage at 49:10

49:21 Meditation is where you can find that true happiness. It Report an error in the passage at 49:21 Highlight the passage at 49:21

49:31 can ultimately lead you to freedom from suffering and rebirth. Report an error in the passage at 49:31 Highlight the passage at 49:31

49:42 what about seeing Beauty in something that's quite ugly and a classic example of that is our own bodies. You know, what's actually beneath the skin? It's quite awful, right? Our organs, the blood running through our veins, the Report an error in the passage at 49:42 Highlight the passage at 49:42

50:09 blisters we get on our feet, the sweat, the excrement that we pass, nothing Report an error in the passage at 50:09 Highlight the passage at 50:09

50:24 about it is beautiful. So when you first fall in love with someone, you see just the outside of the person, the skin, but beneath it, it's something not nice. In fact, there's a lot of worms actually. Our body consists mainly of worms and water. So next time you're attracted to someone, ask yourself. You know, what's underneath all this, right? But one thing I'll have to say is, you know, the Buddha actually really prescribed, you know, for monks and nuns as well as all of us, really, to see the beauty in nature. Report an error in the passage at 50:24 Highlight the passage at 50:24

51:14 This is something, you know, that we can use, right, to give us some happiness and to bring us some peace. and also you can bring that you know into your meditation Report an error in the passage at 51:14 Highlight the passage at 51:14

51:42 appreciating um you know nature and you know the beauty of that that's to be found there Report an error in the passage at 51:42 Highlight the passage at 51:42

51:53 So, um, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 51:53 Highlight the passage at 51:53

51:59 I think that the last point which is really important is perceptions, right? And they revolve around all these things I've mentioned. And developing these perceptions that are beneficial for us so that we can lead a happy life. And I think they really come in handy with our interpersonal, you know, um, um, um. Report an error in the passage at 51:59 Highlight the passage at 51:59

52:31 relationships, you know, connections we have with people. to have the positive frame of mind to develop that and to keep it and to maintain it throughout your life so that you don't allow your mind to go to the negative unwholesome side of things and this means seeing the goodness in yourself As well as seeing the goodness in others, right? To see situations clearly by developing those positive perceptions. Report an error in the passage at 52:31 Highlight the passage at 52:31

53:14 This Report an error in the passage at 53:14 Highlight the passage at 53:14

53:24 comes from understanding your personality. If you're, for instance, the fault-finding type, then you really need to You know, look at the 998 good bricks, not the two bad bricks as Ajahn Brahm mentions. Report an error in the passage at 53:24 Highlight the passage at 53:24

53:48 And this is something you do again and again and again until those beautiful perceptions are formed in your mind and it becomes a natural part of you and the way you think and form perceptions. Report an error in the passage at 53:48 Highlight the passage at 53:48

54:11 And it's something you need to train yourself. Report an error in the passage at 54:11 Highlight the passage at 54:11

54:18 And you do that even until the life ends. For some of us it might take a long time, but it's something that is really worthwhile doing and beneficial for us. Because none of us can just live on our own and hope not to interact with people. There's going to be some people that we come across throughout the day at the shopping center. Report an error in the passage at 54:18 Highlight the passage at 54:18

54:47 or um you know at the petrol station mostly you know at our workplaces so um learning to see um you know using the good perception of um you know learning to see the good in people Report an error in the passage at 54:47 Highlight the passage at 54:47

55:08 The Perception of Kindness Report an error in the passage at 55:08 Highlight the passage at 55:08

55:20 And so what I'm scared about, I have been. Report an error in the passage at 55:20 Highlight the passage at 55:20

55:29 Right? It's the unwise attention. So the opposite goes, of course, for the wise attention. You focus on the beauty of people, the goodness in people. Report an error in the passage at 55:29 Highlight the passage at 55:29

55:46 You also focus on the good qualities in yourself. Acknowledge maybe there's some areas in your life that you need to work on. Report an error in the passage at 55:46 Highlight the passage at 55:46

56:00 This Report an error in the passage at 56:00 Highlight the passage at 56:00

56:08 is just a few words on wise reflection and again for Report an error in the passage at 56:08 Highlight the passage at 56:08

56:24 the Buddha to have mentioned that it's the first one that a first thing alongside listening to good teachers and good dharma that leads to the first state. state of stream entry, it actually shows you how important it is to devote time for cultivation. The fourth one Report an error in the passage at 56:24 Highlight the passage at 56:24

57:01 that I mentioned is practicing in accordance to the Dhamma. So my understanding of that is practicing in accordance to the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path. Report an error in the passage at 57:01 Highlight the passage at 57:01

57:29 And also, of course, keeping your five precepts or ten. Some of you may be keeping eight or ten precepts. Report an error in the passage at 57:29 Highlight the passage at 57:29

57:39 So, in relation to the Four Noble Truths, I'll talk about the first one. And that is the suffering side of things. And to be able to see when there's difficulties in your life. Set aside some time in your day. to sit down and review how your day went, whether there was any difficulties that you came across that caused you some suffering, and ask yourself why. Report an error in the passage at 57:39 Highlight the passage at 57:39

58:16 And this ties in with the why's attention, right? Why was I suffering? What can I do differently next time? How can my interaction with with this this person person... Report an error in the passage at 58:16 Highlight the passage at 58:16

58:35 What can I do differently? Report an error in the passage at 58:35 Highlight the passage at 58:35

58:42 So suffering always comes from within us. We create it. As I said before, most of us are either trying to blame the outside world or other people for our suffering. But really, truly, we need to have a very good look at ourselves. And it's worth a while time being spent to understand how our minds are working. Report an error in the passage at 58:42 Highlight the passage at 58:42

59:12 And what is actually causing this suffering. And Report an error in the passage at 59:12 Highlight the passage at 59:12

59:28 you all will be familiar with the Noble Eightfold Path. But I like to hone in on right speech because that's the one that actually gets us most of the time. And again, have an understanding of, you know, your interaction with people. Are the words I'm saying, are they kind? Report an error in the passage at 59:28 Highlight the passage at 59:28

59:56 Are they beneficial? Report an error in the passage at 59:56 Highlight the passage at 59:56

1:00:00 Do they bring happiness to other people? Does Report an error in the passage at 1:00:00 Highlight the passage at 1:00:00

1:00:09 it benefit me? Is it the right time to speak? All these things you need to gauge when you're interacting with somebody. Seeing where that other person is at, also having an understanding of where you're at before speaking. And if you can master this, You are doing really, really well. And I encourage you all to put forth effort to looking at your speech. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:09 Highlight the passage at 1:00:09

1:00:42 And Report an error in the passage at 1:00:42 Highlight the passage at 1:00:42

1:00:46 this ties in with, you know, that non-regret that I spoke about before when you're sitting in meditation, right, which is so, so beneficial for your warm sitting meditation. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:46 Highlight the passage at 1:00:46

1:01:15 I've also mentioned precepts. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:15 Highlight the passage at 1:01:15

1:01:21 Have some lightness around precepts. If you break one of them, don't give yourself a hard time. You can begin again. You can always begin again. The fact that you're keeping the precepts is a huge thing. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:21 Highlight the passage at 1:01:21

1:01:41 You are of benefit to the whole world and all the people that you interact with. So make a conscious effort. and it is Report an error in the passage at 1:01:41 Highlight the passage at 1:01:41

1:01:53 Every morning that you wake up to say I will do my very best to keep the precepts and just remembering one thing about precepts, it's just harmlessness. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:53 Highlight the passage at 1:01:53

1:02:06 One word you can keep in your mind, harmlessness. You are being kind to yourself and you are being kind to others. This is something you can just, you know, instead of having to remember the five precepts, if you just remember this one thing, right, and go about your day, you'll be a happy person. So Report an error in the passage at 1:02:06 Highlight the passage at 1:02:06

1:02:39 wise attention ultimately leads you to freedom, freedom from all suffering, and it helps you develop the Noble Eightfold Path. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:39 Highlight the passage at 1:02:39

1:02:56 Unwise attention increases Report an error in the passage at 1:02:56 Highlight the passage at 1:02:56

1:03:02 your craving and ignorance. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:02 Highlight the passage at 1:03:02

1:03:09 And it's leading you away from the Buddha's teachings and the path to freedom. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:09 Highlight the passage at 1:03:09

1:03:23 So I'll end my talk there. And I hope it's of benefit to you. And I would now like to open up the group for any questions or comments you may have. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:23 Highlight the passage at 1:03:23

1:03:53 It's not questions, but two things I'm working on recently is fear and compassion. Because I found like I have quite a lot of, I have always been having a lot of like anxiety and stuff. But recently I found that one thing that really works for me is that I try to, I try to allow myself to be anxious about things that is really close to me, that I feel really close to me. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:53 Highlight the passage at 1:03:53

1:04:22 So I sometimes if I pick up something that is like very fine in the future. And if I cannot feel that it is right at my face, I will try to put it down. And I've been doing this for a while and I feel like it really works for me. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:22 Highlight the passage at 1:04:22

1:04:40 Because sometimes if I really look into the thing that I'm worried at, they are very far away in the future. And then I will start to have a feeling like I have no need to worry about those things. But I can worry about things that are more close to me. So I think my mind works in this way. And then the other thing is I'm trying to cultivate more compassion. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:40 Highlight the passage at 1:04:40

1:05:08 I think it is a really hard thing for me. I am a little bit quick to be irritated by people who are not practicing. Because I'm surrounded by family who is not Buddhist. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:08 Highlight the passage at 1:05:08

1:05:28 Because the place I live, like I live in Hong Kong, and then not many people are practicing as well. And I sometimes feel like because from the way they speak, from the way they act, I feel like, oh, they are not being very kind or stuff. And then I will feel irritated. But recently, I was like trying to really trying to think in a way that like they are suffering as well. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:28 Highlight the passage at 1:05:28

1:05:55 I think it works. Somehow, but I think because I can't really, I don't really know them a lot of the time. It's like I cannot really see their suffering. And sometimes I feel like it's a little bit hard to like, how to say, hard to connect with their suffering. Because sometimes if I have, I think I have time, like I think that that person is not really like kind or stuff. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:55 Highlight the passage at 1:05:55

1:06:26 but but then i know him better i know that he go through a lot of things and i i can develop that kind of like compassion and stuff but sometimes it's like if i do not know that person very well it's a little bit hard but i'm trying to like cultivate that as well it would be good if you can have some advice Thank you for your talk and sharing. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:26 Highlight the passage at 1:06:26

1:06:50 Okay, you're welcome. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:50 Highlight the passage at 1:06:50

1:06:55 Know that when people are saying harsh words or just not being very responsive, that there's something going on for them. That is your cue. That is your cue. And this is when you can start developing that perception of kindness and compassion. People always have something going on for them if they are unkind or they're rude. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:55 Highlight the passage at 1:06:55

1:07:29 Right? Impatient, right? Always, always a family problem, lack of sleep, some illness, you know, that they're, you know, just, you know, trying to grapple with. There's always, you know, some difficulty in their life and they're projecting that on you or you're perceiving it to be, you know, that they're speaking, you know, loudly to you. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:29 Highlight the passage at 1:07:29

1:08:00 So, that is a helpful cue for you to know, okay, you know, this person really, you know, didn't speak to me nicely. And just say, yeah, how sad, you know, how sad this person is going through some difficulty. I hope they get over it. Right? And that frees your heart. And, you know, you just... Continue to go about your day. Compassion is hard to develop. Keep at it. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:00 Highlight the passage at 1:08:00

1:08:42 But what helps is actually trying to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Sometimes you can't do that. If you can't do that, you just sit with the feeling that's in your body. Normally it's a physical feeling that you get, like tightness, tension. Right? And you focus on yourself. Right? And send some loving kindness to yourself. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:42 Highlight the passage at 1:08:42

1:09:17 Because in some situations you just can't have that compassion and that's when you do, you come back to yourself and see, okay, at this point, you know, I can't see any good in this person but I can, you know, I can see. You know, I can see how does it feel in my body. Now maybe later, maybe, you know, 10 minutes later, I'll see things differently. I'll, you know, be able to see, yep, yep, this person's having a bad day. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:17 Highlight the passage at 1:09:17

1:09:53 So, Gloria, I hope that helps somewhat. Yes, and I think it's like the attachment. I just discovered, like, I do have attachment in person. Like, I feel like there's... How can they be doing this? How should they be doing this? But a lot of times, like, they have their own conditioning. And then I have my, like, I have my attachment and desire and that cause suffering in myself. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:53 Highlight the passage at 1:09:53

1:10:23 I try to lower my expectation, I think. That's very good. That's very good. And give people the benefit of the doubt as well, huh? Report an error in the passage at 1:10:23 Highlight the passage at 1:10:23

1:10:33 Ah, yeah. Yeah, give them the benefit of the doubt. Saying, yeah, yeah, yeah, this person's having a bad day. I'll just... I'll just send them some mettā. Yeah. It's hard, Gloria, but I think you're on the right track. Just keep on going. And please remember to be kind to yourself. Yes, I will. And especially if you get irritated, be kind to yourself. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:33 Highlight the passage at 1:10:33

1:11:07 That's true. Thank you so much. Sky? Report an error in the passage at 1:11:07 Highlight the passage at 1:11:07

1:11:14 Good morning. Good morning. Thank you so much. that's right. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:14 Highlight the passage at 1:11:14

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:11:22 I was going to piggyback onto what Gloria said. One of my weaknesses is taking things personal. I mean, I don't take the weather personal. You know, I'm not that bad. Like, oh, why is it raining? No, I never have that kind of delusion. But I think because I'm a people pleaser, that when there's any friction or tension around me or near me or... Report an error in the passage at 1:11:22 Highlight the passage at 1:11:22

1:11:53 The people I'm caring for or friends with, I kind of personalize anything mostly negative. I think humans kind of focus on the negative. No matter how much positive we have, we're prone to this negative dukkha life. And the word keeps popping up this week to improve my mental state is to depersonalize without being dispatched. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:53 Highlight the passage at 1:11:53

1:12:27 you know like to withdraw to to find a balance between oh you know like there's gonna be a trick for my brain to say it's not because of you norma or sky whatever they're calling me this week but um you know what i mean like to depersonalize can you just add a little more to what you said Report an error in the passage at 1:12:27 Highlight the passage at 1:12:27

1:12:55 With Report an error in the passage at 1:12:55 Highlight the passage at 1:12:55

1:13:04 human interactions, I think it's helpful to know that it's actually actually, especially Especially behavior that is coming from other people that is unpleasant, harsh. It's nothing to do with us. It's nothing to do with us. If Report an error in the passage at 1:13:04 Highlight the passage at 1:13:04

1:13:34 it's directed with criticism and constructive criticism or things like that. Okay, okay. You're using the example of constructive criticism. This is when you, again, this is now feedback that is coming to you. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:34 Highlight the passage at 1:13:34

1:14:01 And this is when you need to ask yourself, Kai, is this true? Is there any weight to what this person is saying? Do I need to change? Is there something in me that this person is saying? There's some truth to it. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:01 Highlight the passage at 1:14:01

1:14:23 If there is, you say thank you. Thank you for pointing that out to me. I didn't know that about myself. If it's not true, you just say thank you anyway. Right? Thank you anyway. And just keep quiet. Right? If it's not true, then usually it's their stuff. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:23 Highlight the passage at 1:14:23

1:14:49 It's some conditioning that they've had. Some... person in their life that they're having difficulty with, that they're, you know, they're venting out their frustration on you. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:49 Highlight the passage at 1:14:49

1:15:10 So I think you need to be able to discern whether if it's constructive feedback that they're giving, whether there's any truth to it, whether you may need to change something. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:10 Highlight the passage at 1:15:10

1:15:29 Or whether it's actually coming, you know, from someone who doesn't know you and who, you know, they can pretty much, you know, they're saying whatever, you know, is according to their conditioning. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:29 Highlight the passage at 1:15:29

1:15:48 I have had a... through told to me through uh constructive criticism that maybe i didn't take well at the first hearing but after After going out of the room or reflecting on it or, you know, mulling it over, in my mind, realized there was truth in it. So I can figure those out. But when it comes to, say, like a neighbor, nasty neighbor who Buddha Report an error in the passage at 1:15:48 Highlight the passage at 1:15:48

1:16:23 statue under my hibiscus tree in my couple of years, and the new neighbor upstairs, he Report an error in the passage at 1:16:23 Highlight the passage at 1:16:23

1:16:37 kicked it over three times. Now, I don't have a witness, but there's been other things. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:37 Highlight the passage at 1:16:37

1:16:47 He's even destroyed things, my decorations or things like that. And it's hard not to take this personal front, but I'm having to deal with it frequently because it's a nasty neighbor. But I found through dealing with it with the help of my husband to see clearly that don't pay any attention to him. He's not a nice person. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:47 Highlight the passage at 1:16:47

1:17:14 Just ignore it. That hits his problem. but I found now a weakness in myself when I've been Report an error in the passage at 1:17:14 Highlight the passage at 1:17:14

1:17:26 Bothered by a neighbor or something Report an error in the passage at 1:17:26 Highlight the passage at 1:17:26

1:17:31 let it go but i have this human conditioning like if i see another neighbor that i like i'll go ahead and tell them all about it Report an error in the passage at 1:17:31 Highlight the passage at 1:17:31

1:17:43 It's not, it's like you play with your. Misery for a few minutes and share it with somebody else before you let it go. I don't know if that's part of the gossip thing and the correct speech that I need to work on. I don't have to share an event, but I don't know how to do it and get rid of it. The tendency is so strong when I see someone I like that likes me, a good neighbor, for example. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:43 Highlight the passage at 1:17:43

1:18:18 I'll want to tell them about the bad neighbor, you know, and then another neighbor might come and we'll all chime in and how bad the neighbor is or something. And I want to be able to correct my speech a little more in that respect. So I'm going to have to still work on letting it go before I play with my suffering. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:18 Highlight the passage at 1:18:18

1:18:45 Does that make any sense? Do we play with our suffering? Report an error in the passage at 1:18:45 Highlight the passage at 1:18:45

1:18:50 So, listening to what you've just said, starting with speech, yes, you're absolutely right. Talking to another neighbor, but this neighbor that's not being unkind, is gossiping, doesn't come under right speech. And this is your way of trying to reconcile with... You need Report an error in the passage at 1:18:50 Highlight the passage at 1:18:50

1:19:30 to accept this person. You're not going to be able to change this person. mind with what this behavior the behavior of this person Report an error in the passage at 1:19:30 Highlight the passage at 1:19:30

1:19:56 person, right? It's hard enough to change ourselves. i don't want yeah i don't want to have anything to do with it yeah yeah i hope it moves yeah yeah so um i think that the how um if i can use the word um protect how you can protect yourself is um look if this this person obviously um doesn't respect you know other other religions and um And the other thing is, I mean, you don't have proof that he's actually, you know, moved the Buddha out of the way. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:56 Highlight the passage at 1:19:56

1:20:34 And that's another point that I'd like to bring up. But let's try and get things, you know, move the Buddha statue somewhere else so that this person is not... Wonderful. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:34 Highlight the passage at 1:20:34

1:20:50 So whatever this person is being upset by, try and reduce that because you are reducing the bad karma this person is going to make. Try and maybe look at it. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:50 Highlight the passage at 1:20:50

1:21:07 can I give, because I heard somebody last night saying when somebody else is being aggressive or they're the ones that are suffering, they need my good wishes or my compassion. I haven't reached that point yet. I guess I'll have a new homework this week. That's right. So Sky, start with loving kindness for yourself first. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:07 Highlight the passage at 1:21:07

1:21:35 You are having to deal with these difficult feelings. You need to reconcile with those feelings, accept them, and work out ways. That you are not going to be affected by them. And your husband, I think, has given you some good advice. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:35 Highlight the passage at 1:21:35

1:22:00 Nothing else to do, just to not pay attention to these people because honestly, it sounds like this person has a lot of suffering in their lives. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:00 Highlight the passage at 1:22:00

1:22:13 Yeah, I think so too. So, yeah, for some months. Yes, so for someone to be, you know, carrying out that type of physical action, there's got to be some, yeah, some misery, you know, that they're dealing in their own lives. And it's really great to see that you've actually have worked through this and, you know, inquired into it. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:13 Highlight the passage at 1:22:13

1:22:44 and looked at the source of it and it actually covers what I've been saying in this session. So keep on investigating and continue to have that kindness and compassion for yourself and forgiveness for the thoughts that you have towards this person but try and refrain from talking to other people about this person because it is gossiping. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:44 Highlight the passage at 1:22:44

1:23:13 Yeah, and it's fun. I got to think differently about that, too. I think if I feel differently about him in my mind and my heart, like what we're talking about, that if he does things again, I will have less of a tendency to want to share it. If I start from the beginning and to, like what you said, to have metaphor myself and understand my... Report an error in the passage at 1:23:13 Highlight the passage at 1:23:13

1:23:48 My situation that I have to live with this and it's okay. It'll be temporary and I don't need to share it. Let it go. Just I'm going to really try that. I have not tried that because I let it back because there's a certain pleasure in feeling aggravated. And I hate to admit that, but it's true. It gives you a little sense of who you are. Like you, you think you're feeling alive, you know? Report an error in the passage at 1:23:48 Highlight the passage at 1:23:48

1:24:20 But it's false. False. The other thing that came to my mind, Nurse Guy, and this is going to take a lot of courage on your part, is that whenever, I mean, if you have face-to-face interaction with this person, say, hello, sir, how are you doing today? Right? I tried that six months ago. We were almost talking, but... Report an error in the passage at 1:24:20 Highlight the passage at 1:24:20

1:24:48 He's done so many things, I just don't even want to look at him, you know. You may come to a point where you can just say, good morning, how are you, how are you doing, right? And, you know, maybe down the track, you know, depending on, you know, how far you get with this, you know, offer him, you know, like a flower from your garden, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:24:48 Highlight the passage at 1:24:48

1:25:13 This is now going the totally, you know, opposite way, you know. Because when you show kindness to people, this may take a long time with someone like this, they will, in time, maybe a lot of time, they will feel it, right? And maybe they will change their behavior and stop causing all this bad karma that they're creating for themselves. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:13 Highlight the passage at 1:25:13

1:25:45 Yeah. So this is now... My first reaction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry. I have one more question. Yeah, sorry. Thank you for your question. We learn a lot. So the question, the last question is, hello, Aya. How did you eliminate the desire to get attracted to physical things like human? I mean, it did not just happen easily after you know that the human body is full of disgusting things. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:45 Highlight the passage at 1:25:45

1:26:21 How should we practice seeing that? I Report an error in the passage at 1:26:21 Highlight the passage at 1:26:21

1:26:42 think, I guess we're talking about, you know, close relationships here, or, you know, you've just met someone that you really like. Just to have it in the back of your mind that, you know... I don't know a lot about relationships, but what I've been told is that, you know, initially, you know, the first, you know, first year or whatever, it's, you don't see the blemishes, you know, on this person, not, you know, so to speak. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:42 Highlight the passage at 1:26:42

1:27:11 Just have in mind that, you know, it takes a long time to get to know a person, right? And you need to live with them to really get to know them and see these little, you know, little things that may irritate you. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:11 Highlight the passage at 1:27:11

1:27:32 And so, you Report an error in the passage at 1:27:32 Highlight the passage at 1:27:32

1:27:41 know, there's some genuinely beautiful people out there. But underneath that, it is fact that, you know, the Buddha mentioned, you know, this is the foulness. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:41 Highlight the passage at 1:27:41

1:27:57 I guess the thing is just having a realistic understanding of, you know, that people can change, you can change, they can change, you know, what appears to be, you know, very pleasing at this time can change anytime, right? This is how divorces happen, this is how relationships break up. But I guess for myself, I... Report an error in the passage at 1:27:57 Highlight the passage at 1:27:57

1:28:30 You know, I became interested in the suttas, the Buddha's teachings, and I became interested in, you know, my interest in the sensual side of things, the sensual world, I lost interest. The Buddha's teachings were much more attractive for me. That's how that happened. happened and now Report an error in the passage at 1:28:30 Highlight the passage at 1:28:30

1:28:59 Now, you know, the Buddha actually said, you know, when you look at a man, you know, see him as your father, see him as your brother, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:28:59 Highlight the passage at 1:28:59

1:29:12 Because we've been born many times, you know, many times over, right? So, you know, even if it's, you know, someone you're going to be going out with, you know, you say, oh yeah, this person's like my brother. right? And, um, oh, yeah, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:12 Highlight the passage at 1:29:12

1:29:36 But mainly, what will really make you see this is actually establishing a keen interest in the Buddha's teachings and the dharma, having a good understanding of it. This is when you start to move away from the sensory world, sensual pleasures. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:36 Highlight the passage at 1:29:36

1:30:03 I have to say in the end, that side of things, moving away from that will give you much more peace than being, you know, the attraction of, you know, a relationship. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:03 Highlight the passage at 1:30:03

1:30:15 That's coming from a nun. I hope that helps. Yeah, I think he said thank you in the chat. Thank you very much, Ajahn, for coming today. And yeah, we can end here. And thank you all for coming as well. Okay, I will do a short blessing for you all. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:15 Highlight the passage at 1:30:15

1:30:44 Thank you all. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:44 Highlight the passage at 1:30:44

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:31:50 Thank you, Aya. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. Thank you, Aya. Thank you so much. Thank you, everyone. Thank you, Gloria. Bye-bye. Bye Report an error in the passage at 1:31:50 Highlight the passage at 1:31:50

1:32:10 -bye. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:10 Highlight the passage at 1:32:10