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Cutting through identification with consciousness

Joseph Goldstein · Insight Meditation Society - Retreat Center · Three-Month Part 1 · 12 October 2016 · 53 min

0:02 Last week I spoke of how different Suggest a fix

0:13 concepts, Suggest a fix

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0:52 concepts of place, of ownership, of time, Suggest a fix

1:14 and of self -image, even concepts of Last week, I... Is this okay? Suggest a fix

0:45 How is this sounding now? Okay. Suggest a fix

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1:21 age and of race. Condition the way we experience our reality. Suggest a fix

1:31 We also discussed how the concept of self, which is the root cause of so much suffering in our lives, not only in our own lives, but in the world, That this concept of self arises or comes out of a superficial perception of our experience. Superficial perception of this mind and body. So Guy elaborated on this quite beautifully in his talk on the five aggregates. On the emptiness of the aggregates. And the importance of understanding this is highlighted in a teaching by the great And it really points to the heart of what we are doing here. He said the idea of an enduring self has kept you wandering helplessly in the realms of saṃsāra for countless past lifetimes. Suggest a fix

2:52 It is the very thing that now prevents you from liberating yourself and others from conditioned existence. If you could simply let go of that one thought of I, you would find it easy to be free and to free others too. Suggest a fix

3:15 So that's our challenge, that's our task, and that's our practice. So tonight continue the discussion from last week of how the sense of self is created and how it's possible to free ourselves from this from this illusion, from this mistaken perception. We talked about how the sense of self arises when we identify with the body. Taking this body as we usually do to be I, to be mine. Who am I? This is who I am. It's our first and initial response. We talked about how we create the felt sense of self every time we get lost in or Are identified with the thoughts in our minds. All the many stories we tell to ourselves, about ourselves, about the world. Suggest a fix

4:26 We also create a strong sense of self when we identify with emotions and moods. And this is where I left off last week. It's that strong felt sense. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm happy. I'm discouraged. I'm excited. And the list goes on and on. And then we go even further. We go from I'm happy or I'm sad or I'm depressed or I'm excited to I'm a happy person. I'm a depressed person. I'm a sad person. We build a whole superstructure of self on top of momentary changing conditions. Suggest a fix

5:21 These emotions and mind states are often the most seductive aspect of our experience. It's what we most easily personalize. Even when we can get a sense, at least at times, that thoughts come and go and they're pretty fleeting, when there's a strong emotion in the mind, we often get very hooked by it, very identified with it. Suggest a fix

5:56 We take what's non -self, One of the distortions or hallucinations of perceptions that Bonnie spoke of. And we don't see that each of these emotions or mind states is arising out of particular conditions at certain moments, stays for a while in its various transmutations, and then passes away when the conditions change. Suggest a fix

6:35 When we're caught up in it, that it is love that loves. It's fear that fears. It's joy that joys. It's anger that angers. Each emotion arising out of particular conditions comes into being, expresses its own nature, and passes away. The I and mine are quite extra. We're adding that to this experience. Suggest a fix

7:17 So one way of beginning to break this very deeply habituated pattern of identification with them is to see repeatedly, over and over again, their impermanent conditioned nature. And the Buddha spoke very directly to this. He said, so indeed, these states, not having been, come into being. Having been, they vanish. Regarding these states, okay, here are the pith instructions. Regarding these states, all of these emotions, abide unattracted, unrepelled, independent, Non -attached, free, not identified with a mind free of barriers. Simple. Suggest a fix

8:37 I love that line, not having been, they come to be. Having been, they vanish. Who of you has not experienced that? So this is not an esoteric truth, you know, that we have to practice 30 years to discover. We all know this. These emotions, these mind states, not having been, come into being. Having been, they vanish. We've been through this countless times. But we don't often reflect on this truth. We don't often remind ourselves of this in the midst of some strong emotion. Suggest a fix

9:27 We're so seduced by the story and the feeling state that we lose sight of their impermanent nature. It Suggest a fix

9:40 might also be helpful to distinguish moods from emotions so that we can recognize and be mindful of their difference and see each of them more clearly. There's a well -known psychologist, his name is Paul Ekman, and he did a lot of research on facial micro -expressions where he was able to read the emotions going on just to So in his book, Emotions Revealed, he makes an interesting distinction between moods and emotions. And I thought it'd be useful just to read a little bit because it can help us distinguish the two and help us open up Perhaps a new arena of mindfulness. He says this is a good place to distinguish emotions from moods. Suggest a fix

10:53 All of us have both of them, but they are different. The obvious difference is that emotions are much shorter than moods. Moods can last a whole day, sometimes two days, while emotions can come and go in a minute, sometimes seconds. A mood activates specific emotions. When we are irritable, we are seeking an opportunity to become angry. So that's interesting to really see how moods can activate or condition an emotion. When we are irritable, we are seeking an opportunity to become angry. We interpret the world in a way that permits or even requires us to become angry. Another way moods differ from emotions is that once an emotion has begun and we have become aware of it, we can usually point to the event that caused it. Suggest a fix

11:55 Rarely do we know why we are in a mood. It just seems to happen to us. So I found it very interesting in my practice to begin to check in with the often unnoticed moods in the mind. They're much more amorphous than an emotion. They're more ephemeral. They're often a background filter through which we're viewing and seeing and relating to the world. And yet if we're not aware of them, they really condition our experience. Suggest a fix

12:40 It takes a light touch to become mindful of moods. Because they're so ephemeral, We need to be very receptive. It's as if we settle back and open up and simply hold the question, well, what's the mood in the mind now? What's the general, I could say, color tone of the mind? Not looking too hard. You know, if we look too hard and try to find it too precisely, we look right through it to some experience. Suggest a fix

13:20 It's actually quite fun to... Just check this out at different times during the day. What's the mood now in my mind? Suggest a fix

13:36 And remind ourselves that the mood too is impermanent and not self. The thing is we usually overlook this because we're waiting in our practice for some big emotion to become mindful of. In a way, we're intensity junkies. We like the intense experience, Intense dukkha or intense sukha. But that's what excites us. Moods are much softer and therefore often overlooked. Suggest a fix

14:17 But both moods and emotions, it would be interesting just to include the mindfulness of moods in your field of awareness. Sometimes I think of them like cloud formations in the sky. You know, some cloud formations are heavy and gray and oppressive and some are light and fluffy and airy and they make us feel different ways. But they're all just formations arising out of particular conditions. The conditions change, the clouds dissipate. Our moods and emotions are just like that. Suggest a fix

15:09 It's helpful to remember and reflect on their impermanence. Can you even remember? What mood you were in two weeks ago, or one week ago, or two days ago. You know, when we look back, we know, we already know how transitory they are. And yet when they come and we're not mindful, we can be so caught up in them and so influenced and conditioned by them, we become imprisoned in the view of self. I'm feeling this way. Suggest a fix

16:01 What's interesting, as we begin to experience all of these changing phenomena in the body, of thoughts, of moods and emotions, we can see that there is a recognizable pattern to the unfolding. Suggest a fix

16:22 We wake up in the morning, we look in the mirror, and we recognize that person looks familiar. And it's not to deny that there's a pattern. To this process. That things are unfolding in a lawful way, not in a chaotic way. Because of this, this arises. Because of this, this arises. But the great insight, the liberating insight into selflessness is Suggest a fix

17:02 the understanding that there is no one behind the process to whom it's happening. There's no core, central element. That is I. And yet, as we've mentioned many times in different talks, our habitual tendency is to refer everything back to this concept that we've created, this concept, this fabrication of self. My body, I'm thinking, I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm happy. Everything refers back to this self. And then people often come into the practice, With this great determination to get rid of the self. They hear these teachings and they see that, yeah, the whole problem is self. I need to get rid of it. Suggest a fix

18:06 I have very good news for you. Suggest a fix

18:11 You don't have to get rid of the self because it is not there in the first place. Suggest a fix

18:23 So there was a writer. I didn't know if he was English or Irish. He lived in Hong Kong. For a long time, he wrote under the name of Wei Wu Wei. And he had, clearly from his writings, he had some profound experience of emptiness and selflessness. And he wrote many books, and most of them just contain these short aphorisms, just very pithy statements of wisdom. So I just want to read a few of them to help relieve you of the burden of thinking that you need to get rid of yourself. So the first one is called the goose. Destroy the ego. Hound it. Beat it. Snub it. Tell it where it gets off. Great fun, no doubt. But where is it? Suggest a fix

19:23 Must you not find it first? Isn't there a word about catching your goose before you cook it? The great difficulty here is that there isn't one. We need to... Relax into that understanding. Another one of his little gems. Suggest a fix

19:52 That's a great image. Suggest a fix

20:03 We're barking up this tree that isn't there. Suggest a fix

20:10 Last one. What is the use of trying to climb out of a hole Whoever thinks that they exist objectively is like a dog barking up a tree. Suggest a fix

20:16 we have never been in. Suggest a fix

20:26 Our practice takes on a whole different tenor when we approach it from this understanding. There's not something we have to get rid of. There's not this big bad ego that somehow is there and we have to obliterate it. Rather it's the understanding it's not there in the first place and we simply have to see how we are creating the felt Sense of self in any moment that we're identified with what's happening. That's what creates that felt sense of it, and it's strong. But it's nothing more than a moment of identification with some element of the mind and body. Suggest a fix

21:19 And the more insight we have, for example, into the three characteristics, or even simply into the flow of impermanence. Moment after moment, that weakens that habit pattern of identification. Suggest a fix

21:40 So all of this, I think, can be understood relatively easily, even though it takes practice, with respect to the body, with respect to thoughts, with respect to moods, with respect to emotions. Suggest a fix

22:02 But the most subtle level of identification Suggest a fix

22:09 Deeply rooted habit pattern of creating a sense of self happens when we identify with the process of consciousness. Suggest a fix

22:23 You know, when we are identifying with consciousness, with the knowing, then we're creating a sense of the observer, the witness, someone apart from experience who's knowing it all. Suggest a fix

22:47 And even when we understand on some level that thoughts and feelings and emotions in the body are changing and impermanent and not self, still we have the belief, well, I'm the one who knows all this. And that could be said to be the last holdout of self. Suggest a fix

23:11 But through a growing mindfulness, through a growing wisdom, we see that consciousness, And mindfulness and wisdom themselves are dependent on conditions. Consciousness, mindfulness, wisdom are all arising and passing in each moment. Suggest a fix

23:38 So I want to take a few moments just to clarify a few terms which often are confusing. You know, in English, we use English words as translations from the Pāli. And in Pāli, the terms are very specifically defined. But then when they get translated into English and perhaps other languages, the definitions sometimes are not so clear and we can get confused. Suggest a fix

24:10 So I think, as has been mentioned at different times, the term consciousness refers to that knowing faculty. It's simply the faculty of bare knowing. Seeing consciousness, hearing consciousness, smelling, tasting, touching consciousness. Consciousness of thought. Suggest a fix

24:36 So one of my favorite examples of consciousness as being different than mindfulness, and I may have mentioned this previously, but it's for me a wonderful image. Are you familiar with the kind of dog black Labrador retrievers? For those of you who are not familiar. They're tremendously playful dogs. They are just having a great time. And they're running and jumping and playing and doing all this stuff. And it's great fun to be with them. They don't look very mindful. But they're not unconscious. They're knowing sights, particularly smells. They're knowing all these things. Consciousness is there. Suggest a fix

25:35 And I hope I'm not slandering them by saying they're not being mindful. It just doesn't look like it. Suggest a fix

25:46 So mindfulness is something different than consciousness. Consciousness is just knowing the sense objects. Mindfulness, we can almost say mindfulness knows that we know. It's another level of knowing that the object is present. And a very good experiment that reveals very clearly in your experience The difference between consciousness and mindfulness is to pay attention to those moments when you come out from being lost in a thought. When the mind is thinking and we're lost in the thought, we are not unconscious. Consciousness is there, but there is no mindfulness. And yet in the moment, and we have these countless times a day, We're lost, lost, lost in a thought, and then in a certain moment we become aware that we're thinking. Highlight that moment. Because right in that transition from being lost in a thought to being aware that you're thinking, right there, the quality of awareness, the quality of mindfulness is illuminated. Suggest a fix

27:22 So then what's wisdom? Consciousness is just that bare knowing. Mindfulness. Mindfulness is another level in which we know what the object is. We know that we're knowing. Might say that wisdom is what we learn from being mindful. Okay, mindfulness brings us, as was mentioned, face -to -face with the object. So we're mindful or aware of sights and sounds and thoughts and emotions and moods. Mindfulness is the methodology of wisdom. Suggest a fix

28:05 Okay, we're mindful, what are we learning? And I think this is a really important question, especially given the widespread application now of mindfulness just in our society. It's quite amazing. It's like mindfulness has become mainstream, and it's extraordinary. But mindfulness itself, although, is very beneficial on many, many levels. Mindfulness itself is not wisdom. Mindfulness brings us there. It brings us here to the moment. And then what are we learning? And of course, all of the Buddha's teachings are really an elaboration of what we learn when we're being mindful. We learn that everything is impermanent. And because of that, ultimately unreliable. We learn the selfless nature of things. Suggest a fix

29:14 And all of this learn the Four Noble Truths, how attachment leads to suffering. And this is not theoretical. Mindfulness actually lets us see all this in our own experience. Suggest a fix

29:32 So that's a slight definition of terms. Consciousness, knowing, mindful awareness, wisdom. Coming back now to how do we cut through the identification with knowing. So we're not creating. And living our lives from this place of being the knower, the observer, the witness. Suggest a fix

30:02 So this is a very challenging aspect of the practice. How to cut through identification with knowing, with consciousness. And there are different methods depending on the perspectives we have in our experience. So I just want to use a little analogy which describes two different kinds of perspectives that we often have. You're probably familiar with the understanding in physics that depending on how it's observed, light can be seen either as a particle or as a wave. Seen in one way, it's a particle. Seen in another way, it's a wave. Suggest a fix

31:00 And unlike I, This is the full extent of my knowledge of physics. But that example has been very helpful. Because in meditation, sometimes we are experiencing the particle -like nature of experience. And sometimes we're experiencing more the wave -like, or we could say the field -like nature of experience. And both of these perspectives happen at different times. And we can cut through the identification. With knowing, with consciousness, in both of these perspectives, in each of these perspectives. Suggest a fix

31:49 So when we're experiencing things in its particle -like nature, what we're seeing is that in each moment there is knowing and an object. I move my arm, there's the sensations of the movement and the knowing of them. There's a sound and the knowing of it, a sight and the knowing of it, a thought and the knowing of it. And as we're paying attention, moment after moment, we can begin to experience that in every moment, this is what's happening. It's a pairwise progression of knowing an object, knowing an object, knowing an object, knowing an object. And there are stages of insight. One stage of insight is called purification of view. And this is precisely the view that is purified. Suggest a fix

32:48 It's the beginning understanding of selflessness, that there's not a self behind that process. All that's happening is this particle -like nature, knowing an object arising and passing moment after moment. Suggest a fix

33:11 At first, we're making some kind of effort to see this and to understand it. As the momentum of mindfulness builds, the mindfulness of this pairwise progression, of change is happening all by So I want to read something from Ajahn Jamnia, a Thai master. He said, at some point, the mind becomes so clear and balanced that whatever arises is seen and left untouched with no interference. One ceases to focus on any particular content, and all is simply seen as mind and matter, an empty process arising and passing away. It's as if we settle back into this process unfolding. There's no self to get rid of. There's nothing we have to get. There's nothing we have to become. We're simply settling back into the unfolding process that's happening all by itself. Suggest a fix

34:28 Knowing an object, knowing an object, knowing an object, knowing an object. Suggest a fix

34:35 Seen as simply mind and matter, an empty process arising and passing away of its own. A perfect balance of mind with no reactions. There is no longer any doing. So this is helpful just to practice. And even if we practice it just for short periods of time, Suggest a fix

35:00 you might experiment. Take a few minutes at a time and practice non -doing. Don't do anything. Don't be trying to do anything. Just settle back into the awareness of the already unfolding process. Suggest a fix

35:25 And as we said, there are only six things that can be happening. So it's not that complicated. It's either a sight or a sound or a smell or a taste or a sensation or some mind object. Knowing an object, knowing an object, knowing an object, knowing an object, knowing an object. And the whole process. unfolds by itself. Suggest a fix

35:51 This can have tremendously liberating consequences because we are experiencing the selfless nature of it. And it was again expressed beautifully from the Zen tradition by a Zen nun. She was the abbess of a monastery. Her name is Tejitsu. She saw that experiences arose, abided, and fell away. That's what we're seeing. She saw that knowing this, a rose abided and fell away. Then she knew there was nothing more than this. No ground, nothing to lean on stronger than the cane she held, nothing to lean upon at all, and no one leaning. And she opened the clenched fist in her mind. Love that. Opened the clenched fist in her mind. Suggest a fix

36:55 And let go and fell into the midst of everything. Suggest a fix

37:03 Do you see the difference in your practice between trying to get and settling back, letting this already empty process simply unfold? Suggest a fix

37:21 As the Thai Master Ajahn Buddhadasa said, there's nothing to do, nothing to be, nothing to have. Suggest a fix

37:34 Okay, so sometimes we settle back and we're seeing this particle -like nature. You know, just arising, passing, arising, passing, and at a certain point it's all just going on by itself. But sometimes our experience reveals itself not so much as particles but more as a field. It's as if there's a field of awareness in which things are arising and vanishing. So this is a little trickier in terms of Not identifying with the field, with the field of knowing. Suggest a fix

38:18 So this is from teachings of Mahāsi Sayadaw, who was one of the great Burmese masters and kind of the grandfather of, you know, one of the great lineages. He's describing how this practice, this mindfulness practice unfolds and at different stages we experiencing things In different ways. So sometimes I said it's as particles. Things arising and passing. Sometimes it's more like a field. He said at times there is nothing to notice. With the body disappearing. And the sense of touch lost. However at this moment. Knowing consciousness is still apparent. In the very clear open space of the sky. There remains only one very clear blissful consciousness. Suggest a fix

39:15 Which is very clear beyond comparison and very blissful. The yogi tends to delight in such clear blissful consciousness. But the consciousness is not going to stay permanent. It too has to be noted as knowing, knowing. And whether it's noting with a word or just noticing. So we need to become mindful even of that. Great, vast, spacious field of knowing. We need to be mindful of it so as not to be identified with it. Suggest a fix

39:59 There was a great Thai master, Ajahn Mahabhura, who is reputed to be an Arhant, fully enlightened. And he's rare in that he actually described the moment of his awakening, you know, and kind of the insight that actually completely freed his mind. So I want to read this account of his final liberation. Suggest a fix

40:32 It happened to him. Here's our chance. Once when I went to practice at this one particular temple, the problem of unawareness or ignorance had me bewildered for quite some time. At that stage, the mind was so radiant that I came to marvel at its radiance. Everything of every sort which could make me marvel Seemed to have gathered there in the mind, to the point where I began to marvel at myself. Why is it that my mind is so marvelous? Looking at the body, I couldn't see it at all, just as Mahasi Saira described. It was all space, empty. The mind was radiant in full force. This radiance is the ultimate counterfeit. Suggest a fix

41:34 And at that moment, it's the most conspicuous point. You hardly want to touch it at all because you love it and cherish it more than anything else. In the entire body, there is nothing more outstanding than this radiance, which is why you are amazed at it, love it, cherish it, dawdle over it, wanting nothing to touch it. But it's the enemy king, unawareness. But luckily, as soon as I began to marvel at myself, to the point of exclaiming deludedly without being conscious of it, why has my mind come so far? At that moment a statement of dharma spontaneously arose. This too I hadn't anticipated. It suddenly appeared as if someone were speaking in the heart, although there was no one there speaking. Suggest a fix

42:36 It simply appeared as a statement. If there is a point or a center of the knower anywhere, that is an agent of birth. That's what it said. So in the midst of this amazing radiance that we love and that we cherish and that we've practiced for, if there is a point or a center of a knower anywhere, that is an agent of birth. of continuing saṃsāra. So this is the critical point in our practice. As long as there is identification with anything at all, we are still in the realm of conventional conditioned reality. Suggest a fix

43:38 So how do we cut through in this experience of mind or awareness or consciousness as this radiant field? Which can be so seductive and blissful. How do we cut through identification with that? So in some Tibetan and Zen traditions, they have some very useful tools. Suggest a fix

44:12 One teaching suggests that we look for the mind. Look for the knowing mind. Can you find it? When we look for what's knowing, there's nothing to find. And as one teacher said, the not finding is the finding. So I like to do this sometimes in listening, because that's very effortless. We're just sitting and sounds are arising. And sometimes I'll pose the really unspoken question, well, can I find what's knowing the sound? It's clear that there's a knowing of it, but can I find what's knowing of it? And in that looking for the mind and seeing there's nothing to find, it's a moment of cutting through any identification with anything because there's nothing to find. Suggest a fix

45:23 And this is expressed in a very famous Zen exchange. Suggest a fix

45:34 It's a dialogue, and I'm not sure I'll pronounce the names correctly, but it's an exchange between Bodhidharma, who brought Buddhism from India to China. And the person who was to become his first disciple, Vaika. Vaika says, please teach me the dharma of all the Buddhas. And Bodhidharma says, the dharma seal of all the Buddhas cannot be obtained from someone else. Vaika says, and you can feel the yearning and the anguish. It's said that he had waited outside. Three days in the snow for Bodhidharma to come teach him. He said, like I said, my mind is distressed. Please pacify it with your teaching. Suggest a fix

46:32 Now before I go on, you know, this whole dialogue, there's a kind of Zen witticism to it, but that's not the point. There's a very profound teaching here. And so see if you can take it in in that way. So Heika says, my mind is distressed. Please pacify it with your teaching. And bodhidharma says, present me your mind and I will pacify it. And Vajka says, I've searched for my mind, but I can't find it. And bodhidharma says, there, I've pacified it. You know, when we see that, when we look for our minds and can't find it, it's already pacified. And I've used this. I've used this dialogue. Often not even on retreat. You know, I can just be, you know, in my life and maybe caught up in some drama or other. Suggest a fix

47:39 And I realize, you know, that there's some tension or some suffering going on. And because I'm so familiar with the dialogue, all I need to remind myself already pacified. In that moment, the whole thing disappears. Because it cuts through the identification with the knowing, with consciousness. I've looked for it everywhere and I can't find it. It's like that moment. There, already pacified. It's already done. Suggest a fix

48:24 The Buddha gave some very specific and profound teachings to his son Rahula, who ordained as a novice when he was a young boy. Denda's a full monk. And so this is the Buddha teaching his son. And this teaching just gets to the heart of everything we're doing and practicing. Suggest a fix

48:53 He said to Rahula, every aspect of mind and body should be seen with perfect wisdom. This is not mine. This is not I. This is not myself. Suggest a fix

49:13 We can use these words, these teachings of the Buddha to his son, we can use them as kind of a mantra of liberation. Whatever is arising, moment after moment, whether it's something in the body, in the thoughts, in emotions, in moods, in consciousness, awareness itself, this is not mine, this is not I, this is not myself. And it's said that in the sutta, whoever understands this, That nothing whatsoever is to be clung to as I or mine. Whoever understands, whoever realizes this, has understood and realized all the teachings. Nothing whatsoever is to be clung to as I or mine. And this is what we're practicing. Suggest a fix

50:14 So we're actually practicing the mind of freedom. And we can do it moment after moment. And we forget. We get carried away and we get lost, but then we come back and begin again. I think it's very helpful to keep connected, even as we're going through our practice, to the actual potential for liberation in this moment, even if it's for just a moment. Nothing whatsoever is to be clung to as I or mine. Suggest a fix

51:01 And a surprising consequence of this, Carol spoke really beautifully about this last night. Through a growing understanding of selflessness, emptiness of self, we also develop a growing sense of connection. Because on the deepest level, we realize there is no one there to be separate. Suggest a fix

51:40 Again from Dilgo Kense Rinpoche, he said, when we recognize the empty selfless nature of phenomena, when we realize the empty selfless nature of phenomena, the energy to bring about the good of others dawns uncontrived and effortless. Suggest a fix

52:05 When we see this, we understand that selflessness and love are the same thing. And this is our practice. Suggest a fix

52:26 Let's just sit and let the words go into that unfindable space. Suggest a fix

Talk by Joseph Goldstein, recorded at Insight Meditation Society - Retreat Center, 12 October 2016. Original at Dharma Seed: https://dharmaseed.org/talks/37531/. Licensed CC BY-NC-ND 4.0. Transcript generated automatically and may contain errors; the audio is the authoritative version.

Listen on Dharma Seed · CC BY-NC-ND 4.0