Fear and doubt (1978)

0:00 Dealing with the hindrances that arise in our meditation, fear and doubt, probably the most difficult to deal with. And Report an error in the passage at 0:00

0:18 once you can see clearly the characteristics of fear and doubt and no longer identify with them, then of course you know the actual path. You become aware of the middle way. Fear Report an error in the passage at 0:18

0:42 is something that people Report an error in the passage at 0:42

0:49 I generally tend to try to get away from, but Report an error in the passage at 0:49

0:59 it arises from not knowing, not understanding, and from identifying with all kinds of memories and perceptions, images and thoughts, become Report an error in the passage at 0:59

1:20 aware in the present moment of fear as it arises and falls, all these rather nebulous things. If we're afraid of something directly, like a man-eating tiger is attacking, Report an error in the passage at 1:20

1:36 That's one kind of fear. But then the fear, that kind of nameless state of anxiety, terror, it Report an error in the passage at 1:36

1:49 seems groundless or with no definite thing in mind. We just don't know what will happen. What will happen when we die or what will happen tomorrow. Report an error in the passage at 1:49

2:01 We're afraid that there's something, that we are something, that we don't think we should be. Some disaster, catastrophe is going to overwhelm us. Report an error in the passage at 2:01

2:15 Or that there's all kinds of horrible, fearful things lurking inside us that will come out at the inappropriate times and overwhelm us. Report an error in the passage at 2:15

2:30 But as we practice, we become aware that those are only conceptions, views, opinions, memories, imaginings. Report an error in the passage at 2:30

2:46 Because we bring awareness always into the present moment, establish our awareness. From one moment to the next. Constant, continuous awareness. Report an error in the passage at 2:46

3:08 So as long as we identify and conceive ourselves as being a person, identifying with our memories, concepts we have of what we should or shouldn't be, of what we think we are or we aren't, then we're always going to be limited by those concepts, and that limitation always leaves out that Report an error in the passage at 3:08

3:35 feeling of joy, Report an error in the passage at 3:35

3:39 Freedom of having no self, of not being anybody. Report an error in the passage at 3:39

3:52 So when fear arises in you, it's something to welcome rather than despise or feel aversion toward. If there's fear, doubt, doubt not knowing for sure, doubt about who you are, about what you should be, doubt about your practice, doubt about... Report an error in the passage at 3:52

4:22 Meditation about Buddhism, about the right technique or the right way, doubt about anything, that Report an error in the passage at 4:22

4:36 state of not knowing, not being sure, arises and passes away. This Report an error in the passage at 4:36

4:50 we can know. When we watch, when we have awareness, we can see clearly the present moment, whatever might be there or not there. Report an error in the passage at 4:50

5:27 Every single Opinion and viewpoint that you have about yourself and the universe, see as anicca tukkanata, rather than as reality. Constant Report an error in the passage at 5:27

5:48 reflection on this within yourself. These identities with fear, with doubt, with anger, with lust, with stupidity, always causes a tremendous amount of anguish and despair in our lives. Some people spend their whole lives in the state of depression. Why? How can they do that? Because they've never reflected, they've never stopped and said, who am I in this present moment? Report an error in the passage at 5:48

6:25 Is this the reality, this moving thought, this doubt, this self-disparagement, self-hatred, fear? Report an error in the passage at 6:25

6:38 But as meditators we confront. Face, look at, welcome, accept things as they are. Acceptance of fear takes all the power out of fear. Fear only has power over us when we remain ignorant and react blindly to it. We give it power by creating it, adding to it, seasoning it with more thoughts, more views, more opinion. Report an error in the passage at 6:38

7:10 When Report an error in the passage at 7:10

7:17 I say reflect or contemplate, this means to stop and look at. Like one stands back and looks at something. Report an error in the passage at 7:17

7:32 Anger, aversion, when that arises. What does that do? What does it feel like when you're angry? What does it do to your body? Have you really investigated? When you're bored, when you investigated boredom, do you know what boredom is? What does it do to you? Report an error in the passage at 7:32

7:57 Restlessness, what does that feel like when you look? At your body when you're feeling restless, worried, anxious, sorrowful, or do you just blindly indulge and react, repress, reject, or follow? Report an error in the passage at 7:57

8:43 One who walks in the middle is always welcoming the teachers that are teaching because everything is teaching us. Report an error in the passage at 8:43

8:54 We're not saying, I only want these teachers and I don't want those. I only want the Arahants to teach me. I want all the good and wise. Report an error in the passage at 8:54

9:04 I don't want any of the stupid and dirty, ignorant kind of teachers. Report an error in the passage at 9:04

9:14 This means you've taken sides with that which is pure and good against that which is stupid and dirty. Report an error in the passage at 9:14

9:24 So you'll find a certain kind of despair and sorrow and anguish entering your life because the more you cling to the pure and the good, the Report an error in the passage at 9:24

9:40 more you'll feel threatened by its opposite. But on the middle part, You don't make preferences, you just observe. Since you don't identify with any of it, you're not going to suffer from it. Whether it be good, peaceful, wonderful, fine, clean or miserable, stupid, dirty, ugly, Report an error in the passage at 9:40

10:09 boredom, restlessness, fear and doubt, sleepiness, dullness, lust, greed, worry, anxiety, all these things. You begin to think, they're not mine, they don't belong to me, they just come and they go. You Report an error in the passage at 10:09

10:35 say, I don't want them to come anymore, you're again taking sides. I don't want those negative things in me, I want them to go away. That's another kind of desire. Report an error in the passage at 10:35

10:50 Desire does not have the things that you've got already. But with the attitude of acceptance, then one accepts things and learns from moment to moment to moment. Report an error in the passage at 10:50

11:07 Learning from the high, from the low, from the mean, from the brilliant, the refined, the refined, the coarse. Report an error in the passage at 11:07

11:18 Because what do all these things teach? What are they teaching us? They're teaching us the simple truth of existence that all compounded things are impermanent. Report an error in the passage at 11:18

11:35 They're unsatisfactory and they're not ours. They're not me, they're not mine. Report an error in the passage at 11:35

12:00 With the practice of mettā, or loving kindness, This is a way of acceptance. Report an error in the passage at 12:00

12:12 Mettā practice is always the acceptance of things as they are. So when we accept things as they are, as the things come and go through our consciousness, this is the mettā practice also, of seeing them come and seeing them go. Report an error in the passage at 12:12

12:44 Acceptance of them, not saying, I don't want you, go away, or I want you, I want to keep you. Lust or infatuation to grab hold of our goodness, our refinement and say, this I want to keep for me, this is what I want to be, I want to be like this, this refined, wonderful, beautiful creature. Report an error in the passage at 12:44

13:08 Or the rejection. I shouldn't be, I shouldn't have such horrible thoughts, I shouldn't have such rotten inclinations. I must get rid of these horrible thoughts and things. Report an error in the passage at 13:08

13:27 But with the mettā directed inward, there comes equanimity, acceptance, balance, coolness. There's the bare attention observing the changing phenomena, neither glad at its beauty nor miserable at its ugliness. Can Report an error in the passage at 13:27

14:12 any of you accept every single thought, doubt, fear, opinion and view, memory? Just as it is, accept it, welcome it, observe it as change rather than picking, choosing, fidgeting, rushing around trying to make it go away or keep it, wondering what you're supposed to do next. Report an error in the passage at 14:12

14:49 Or can you just patiently endure watching, letting things be as they are, letting the universe be as it is, not thinking or... Report an error in the passage at 14:49

15:00 Indulging and thinking about how you should be or how the universe should be. And you just sit, walk, stand or lay down and let the universe be as it is. That means your own mind. The Report an error in the passage at 15:00

15:21 conditions that come and go. That takes awareness to be able to do that. Mindfulness. As soon as we are heedless then we start identifying with the changing phenomena. Report an error in the passage at 15:21

15:38 This identity means we cling. We identify with hatred. We identify with greed. We identify with sleepiness. We identify with pain. We identify with pleasure. We identify with love, with hate. No Report an error in the passage at 15:38

16:04 longer identify with it. Report an error in the passage at 16:04

16:09 That doesn't mean we're rejecting. It just means we know its true nature. But beyond all these changing things, phenomena is that which is perfect, complete, which we can never become but only be. Report an error in the passage at 16:09

16:29 And we're only being perfect when we are aware. Report an error in the passage at 16:29

16:36 Because when there's awareness, then we're beyond all the myriad discriminations, differences that we have habitually, for how many lifetimes, identified with. We Report an error in the passage at 16:36

16:57 talk about oneness. Report an error in the passage at 16:57

17:01 With awareness, we don't see each other as this person, that person. With awareness, there's no room for quarreling or conflict or war. For persecution or exploitation. With heedlessness, and that's identifying with the changing phenomena, all the compounded things that we perceive through our senses, there is an endless opportunity for conflict, confusion, war, quarrel, enmity, hatred, exploitation. Report an error in the passage at 17:01

17:47 Sensual consciousness is always seeing things from the senses and identifying with the senses, the objects of sense. For example, your eye. These are my eyes. And what I see with my eyes, some Report an error in the passage at 17:47

18:07 things I call are mine. I say the clothes I'm wearing, these are my clothes. This is my house, my car, my wife, my children, my cat, my dog, my radio. Report an error in the passage at 18:07

18:25 We identify with the sounds we hear, with the tastes, smells. We identify with physical pain or pleasure. We identify with desire, with boredom, with hatred. Identify with memories. Report an error in the passage at 18:25

18:46 Identify with our hopes and expectations, our ambitions. And it goes on and on, always changing. But Report an error in the passage at 18:46

18:58 above that identification with changing phenomenon, when one stands outside it, looking at it, is there any difference between you and I? Report an error in the passage at 18:58

19:14 Is there any room for conflict? Is there any room for quibbling, for quarreling? For war, for exploitation. By Report an error in the passage at 19:14

19:35 being wise, it means being aware from one moment to the next. And this, of course, is why we're here in this practice of Buddhist meditation. Report an error in the passage at 19:35

19:53 Not sitting here in order to attain something, sitting here for an hour to attain some kind of thing that we think we'd like to identify with, such as peace or tranquility, but sitting here being wise. Report an error in the passage at 19:53

20:19 And the doubt comes in, right? What do you mean being wise? Report an error in the passage at 20:19

20:28 I'm not wise. It'll be years yet before there's any wisdom in me. Hard work, sitting for hours every day, conquering all the kilesas, fighting Māra, Report an error in the passage at 20:28

20:49 combating the devil, all my evil tendencies. And you listen, listen to all that. Your doubts, By listening, by acceptance, this is called being wise. Report an error in the passage at 20:49

21:17 Being wise. Trying to be wise. Can you try to be wise? I'm going to sit here and try to be wise for an hour. Report an error in the passage at 21:17

21:36 So you preconceive wisdom and yourself and trying. Of course you get all mixed up. The difference between being and trying to be. Report an error in the passage at 21:36

21:50 Trying to be is a conception. Trying Report an error in the passage at 21:50

21:57 to be mindful. I shall try to be mindful. For the next five minutes, you've created five minutes as a conception and mindfulness and trying. You've created a whole series of things that you identify with and hope and expect. So Report an error in the passage at 21:57

22:25 without conceiving mindfulness or five minutes, time and space or whatever, be. Report an error in the passage at 22:25

22:36 What is the moment right now? Report an error in the passage at 22:36

22:41 Do you know who you are? Report an error in the passage at 22:41

22:45 Do you know what's going on, what's going through your consciousness? Report an error in the passage at 22:45

22:52 Or are you trying to find something? Is there something there that should be going on? Are you doubting and wondering, I wonder what is going on right now? Report an error in the passage at 22:52

23:03 Should it be this or should it be that? I Report an error in the passage at 23:03

23:09 don't know what it means. It's all so confusing. The Report an error in the passage at 23:09

· · · silence, 1 minute

23:57 biggest obstacle to meditation is having a concept about meditation. Report an error in the passage at 23:57

24:04 Making a preference. Report an error in the passage at 24:04

24:10 Doubting. Wondering if you're doing it right. How long it will take before you're enlightened. Having opinions that there's something you should do before you do something else. So by being wise, you just watch all that. I mean, it's alright to have those opinions and views, concepts. Don't think that you shouldn't have them. But just know they're in the true nature. Report an error in the passage at 24:10

24:39 See things as they are in the present moment. Also, Report an error in the passage at 24:39

25:10 I want to suggest that people coming here It's nice on occasion to bring candles, incense and flowers as offerings. This is a tradition, a ceremony, something that is good to do to make an offering. Report an error in the passage at 25:10

25:36 Part of our devotional practices in Buddhism is using our bodies and using our conventions. It's an act of devotion, of worship, of gratitude, of love. To the teacher, the Buddha, the one who knows, the wise one. The wise one is in me, that's another concept. Report an error in the passage at 25:36

26:06 But for beautiful behavior, for Report an error in the passage at 26:06

26:12 harmonious living, we learn to use the body in a harmonious and beautiful way, graceful actions, generous movements. Report an error in the passage at 26:12

26:26 Giving is one way. I come to this Sihara to get something. Mothers say, I come to the Vihara to give, and Report an error in the passage at 26:26

26:45 actually physically give something. Bowing, Report an error in the passage at 26:45

26:53 this is another. Putting Report an error in the passage at 26:53

26:58 one's head down, learning how to bow mindfully, of surrendering oneself physically, of giving oneself. In the act of bowing, it's saying, I'm not aggressive, I'm not here to get anything, I'm here to listen, I'm open. I'm not proud or arrogant. Because Report an error in the passage at 26:58

27:40 if you get proud that you bow so well, or if you start hating people that don't bow, then... This Report an error in the passage at 27:40

27:52 is an act of devotion. Devotion is opening of the heart, the emotion. Not intellectual. What is the... How much do I gain from bowing? You can try to figure out its advantages or disadvantages. Whether it's the real dharma, it's necessary or unnecessary. But Report an error in the passage at 27:52

28:22 any opinion and view that you have of it is just another opinion and view. It's something that is done or not done. Report an error in the passage at 28:22

28:45 Giving or not giving. But Report an error in the passage at 28:45

28:56 heedlessness is always this rationalization, this justification, this wanting to criticize, analyze or find reasons for doing or not doing something. Report an error in the passage at 28:56

29:13 But in our lives, if we live our lives in wisdom, then we do or not do. Report an error in the passage at 29:13

29:22 With awareness we know what to do, the generous, the beautiful, the kind, the things we act on, the impulses, spontaneous good actions are done through awareness, through seeing and understanding time and place, or Report an error in the passage at 29:22

29:52 awareness of not doing, wrong impulses, selfish impulses, evil impulses. We do not act on, we do not act with physical action or speech. Report an error in the passage at 29:52

30:13 Things that cause harm, that cause pain, insensitive things, that hurt ourselves or the beings around us. Report an error in the passage at 30:13

30:27 Chanting, what is this? Is this a valuable thing or is it useless or is it something one should do or one shouldn't do? If you have a doubt about it, do it. Report an error in the passage at 30:27

30:50 Don't do it. What goes on, do you know? You have to find reasons or justifications. You have to be convinced. You have to be forced. Are you taking a stand and saying, I'm not going to do it or I'm going to do it? Report an error in the passage at 30:50

31:15 Some people are always saying, oh, chanting reminds me of my Christian background and all those awful things that the Roman Catholics used to do to me. Report an error in the passage at 31:15

31:27 Blind devotion and rites and rituals and ceremonies. This is taking a stand. Can you mindfully participate in a ceremony? Or are you going to reject it because you think of standing against it? Report an error in the passage at 31:27

31:50 Can you give yourself to a ceremony, to a tradition? Or are you going to say, I'll only go so far and then stop? This Report an error in the passage at 31:50

32:05 is like the monastic life. Can you give yourself to the monastic life? Well, there's going to be reservations. I'll go so far and then I... And I don't know. Report an error in the passage at 32:05

32:22 Meditation, I'll go so far and then maybe I Report an error in the passage at 32:22

32:32 want life on my terms and always with the bridges there so I can run back across them if I don't like what's ahead of me. This is, of course, the saṃsāra, aimless wandering. Report an error in the passage at 32:32

32:48 But in the practice of awareness, mindfulness, it's always the present moment, the complete involvement, complete surrender, acceptance. Report an error in the passage at 32:48

33:05 And that's liberation. The other, where the doubt, the rationalizations, justifications, reservations come, then there's always a myriad complexity that are going to pull this way, that way, confuse Report an error in the passage at 33:05

33:27 us. Report an error in the passage at 33:27

33:35 So I offer this for your reflection for the evening. Report an error in the passage at 33:35

33:50 Saturday we'll be in Birmingham, Benavola. Satsang with Mooji Satsang with Mooji Satsang with Mooji Satsang with Mooji Report an error in the passage at 33:50

34:08 Satsang Report an error in the passage at 34:08

34:33 with Mooji Report an error in the passage at 34:33