Letting Go Is Letting Be (1999)

0:08 And this is the last of this series of talks because next Sunday I'll be, next two Sundays I'll be giving retreats. So those people who heard all this before, they'll be able to put it into practice. They Report an error in the passage at 0:08

0:31 spend ten days, they have to take a vow of silence and then just be mindful for ten days. And of course that's... A very good thing to do. I recommend it to everyone. Even though it might sound rather daunting if you've never done it, actually the first three days are difficult because if you're not used to the change of pace, usually your body, your mind are much more kind of primed for activity. Report an error in the passage at 0:31

1:14 and momentum of life that you're used to and then after three days everything begins to settle down and people begin to actually experience some peaceful moments and sometimes people are quite amazed at how peaceful their minds can be. We live in a world where there's so much stimulation going on the mind is... Report an error in the passage at 1:14

1:42 Consciousness is constantly being stimulated and everything's pushing against it so that we sometimes forget the true nature, say, is very peaceful, very calm, very cool, and that this excitement is something that comes and goes. So in practicing, putting the Lord Buddha's teaching into practice, we... Report an error in the passage at 1:42

2:13 We're contemplating this, beginning to say, like going back home, going back to where we, our real home, where we came from originally. Report an error in the passage at 2:13

2:28 So that, of course, is not a place on this planet. It's not recorded on your birth certificate or passport. Report an error in the passage at 2:28

2:44 So the title of this, Of this reflection is letting go is letting be. And this emphasis on letting go is sometimes such a relief for minds that have been so conditioned to think of holding on to everything, trying to control, trying to... Manipulate conditions, trying to hoard up or keep things. So the society is very much that kind of materialism, modern attitudes, the pressures on us are to hold on to things, to attach and to control as much as we can. Report an error in the passage at 2:44

3:38 One of the greatest fears, isn't it, is losing control. A kind of nightmare scenarios. You might wake up in the middle of the night terrified because you've lost control. Report an error in the passage at 3:38

3:55 This letting go then is an insight that the Buddha pointed to when we contemplate the experience of suffering because in the Buddhist terminology suffering is what we create around our experience of life. Report an error in the passage at 3:55

4:18 He was noting there's a natural suffering, the unsatisfactoriness that we don't create, such as the aging process of the body, the changing conditions, the changing of the seasons, the impermanent nature of all phenomena, and that what begins ends, what is born dies. And that kind of the transient impermanency of the conditioned realm is natural. Report an error in the passage at 4:18

4:48 And it's decay and old age decay, death, sickness and all of these are a part of natural processes that we are not intentionally creating. Report an error in the passage at 4:48

5:02 But we live in bodies and we have to kind of spend so many years incarcerated in one of these human bodies which then is subjected to The vicissitudes of this planet and this universe and the societies that we live in. So we're constantly being kind of irritated or agitated by the world around us. So just contemplate this not as a complaint but just as a reflection that a human body is a sensitive form. Report an error in the passage at 5:02

5:47 Everybody is in this very sensitive state. Once you're born, then you start your life as a kind of seemingly independent, sensitive, conscious human being, which means that then you have to, whatever is happening, whether it's pleasant or painful, hot or cold or soothing or irritating, right, wrong, good or bad, It impresses itself upon you because that's the way it is. Then, if we do not understand this, if we make no effort to contemplate the way things are, then we tend to interpret experience in a way that we suffer endlessly around our consciousness, Report an error in the passage at 5:47

6:42 our bodies, the way life changes. The karma that we have. Report an error in the passage at 6:42

6:52 So the Buddha pointed to the ability we have to reflect upon experience. We don't have that much control over experience because we have to more or less, we get what we get. Report an error in the passage at 6:52

7:08 We have some control, we needn't go out and seek difficult situations or walk into minefields or Report an error in the passage at 7:08

7:45 We have a lot we can just take for granted. Our lives aren't just based on survival, basic survival. But we can indulge ourselves in the pleasures of life. Or we can create so much suffering in our minds over the possibilities of suffering in the future that we become paralyzed with fear, paranoia. Report an error in the passage at 7:45

8:12 So people do have... A lot of mental anguish and despair about themselves or about the people they live with, their partners, their spouses, their children, the society, the world. Report an error in the passage at 8:12

8:31 Because when you look at it through the critical eye, when you see life through what's wrong with it, then of course you create a form of suffering that leads toward depression. Report an error in the passage at 8:31

8:45 And this is quite common. It's surprising how common this tends to be in the affluent countries. It seems like the more wealthy a country is, the higher the suicide rate becomes. The more problems they have with drink and drugs and mental illness, things of this nature. So why is this? Why do people who have, say, driven to create a society where the basics of life are guaranteed and one can live quite easily without a lot of struggle, and yet if we don't understand ourselves, we've never really contemplated our own existence or observed what life really is, Then of course we create, our minds tend to be, the thinking mind, the emotional habits tend to be formed during every part of our life and they oftentimes seldom change where they just become kind of deeper ruts in the mind or ingrained into us till we die if we do not put some effort into understanding life. Report an error in the passage at 8:45

10:11 Understanding ourselves, because this is the great gift that we have as a human being. We have a reflective mind. So a reflective mind, a Buddha mind, you could call it a Buddha mind, because the word Buddha itself is significant because it means awakened. It means the one who knows, the one who sees things clearly. It's wisdom, it's awakeness. Report an error in the passage at 10:11

10:41 And so we can actually develop this Buddha mind, not to become a Buddha, we're not trying to become anything, but just to recognize the potential we have as human beings, as human birth, is that we have this ability to contemplate our own experience. Report an error in the passage at 10:41

11:05 We can reflect upon, we can pay attention. We can wonder about the meaning of life. We can observe our own emotional habits. And we can observe our own feelings. We can contemplate just the experience of having a physical body. What is it like? We can ask ourselves questions like, what is it like to have a physical body like this? And then we... Report an error in the passage at 11:05

11:39 Then we contemplate that. We become aware, say, of its heaviness. Or we become aware of its stiffness or its tensions or the sensations it has. We can become aware of some of its functions. Sometimes you can feel your heartbeat or watch your breath. Report an error in the passage at 11:39

12:06 You can even... Sometimes even feel your blood flowing through your veins. Things like this. Just by contemplating, by observing the experience of having a physical body like this in the present moment. Report an error in the passage at 12:06

12:27 So this is done through what we call mindfulness and awareness. Words like this, mindfulness, awareness. awareness, intuition. Report an error in the passage at 12:27

12:40 Intuition, this is what intuition is about, intuitive awareness. And so to contrast intuitive intelligence, intuitive awareness, with, say, analytical intelligence or rational thought. Report an error in the passage at 12:40

13:00 In most of us, our education has been around thinking rationally, logically, analytically. Comparing things, one thing with another. Having certain kind of positions we take. We have a premise, some kind of basis that we base our logic upon. And then we think from that. So we form opinions, we have views about the meaning of life, about who we are, about other people, about politics, about... Report an error in the passage at 13:00

13:40 about religion, about whatever. So that this is the thinking mind that tends to see things in terms of compassion, I've seen what's better, what's worse, right, wrong, good, bad, big and small, male and female and on and on like this and give great significance to the various logical patterns that we Report an error in the passage at 13:40

14:33 we have the ability to conceive something that's perfect. We can idealize how things should be, the perfect society for example. Report an error in the passage at 14:33

14:48 time I was asked to write an article about how a Buddhist would see the perfect society. of course, we can't conceive a society, we can't conceive a... Another person, how a perfect man should be, or a perfect woman, or a teacher, or God. We even conceive God with our superlative ability to create superlatives. Report an error in the passage at 14:48

15:22 So this, of course, makes us very much compare actual experience of life with ideals. And then the result is that somehow we have to admit that our existence is not ideal. When I think of the perfect bhikkhu, the perfect Buddhist monk, I don't come off all that well. Report an error in the passage at 15:22

15:52 So then I can think I'm not good enough, I'm not a good enough monk yet, because I can conceive a perfect, an ideal Buddhist monk, a bhikkhu. Report an error in the passage at 15:52

16:06 But the realities of being a Buddhist monk, In a human body, which is not ideal, living on this planet Earth with all its irritating experiences, living in a society which I like very much, but which also, no matter how good it is or how good the people are that you're living with, they still manage to irritate me. Report an error in the passage at 16:06

16:35 And no matter how hard I try to be a good bhikkhu and keep all the rules, I never can live up to the ideal standard. Because we recognize that life is not ideal. It's like this. It feels like this. It changes. Ideals don't change, do they? Report an error in the passage at 16:35

16:57 Monuments, and Yeats is for monuments of an aging intellect. This idea of a monument, an intellectual ideal doesn't age. It's always. You know, whatever ideal you had when you were 25 years ago and you bring it out now, it's the same as an age. You have, but it hasn't. So the Buddha emphasized the way of being mindful of changingness because this is what we're actually experiencing. Report an error in the passage at 16:57

17:31 Changing. The body changing, isn't it? Our lives are continuously changing. The seasons are changing. The autumn equinox is only a couple of weeks. Already the leaves are changing their color. And we can feel autumn in the air. We can have this sense of change. It is an ongoing experience in our own mental states. Report an error in the passage at 17:31

18:09 states, our own physical states, families, our relationships, societies are in this This is what we begin to contemplate. We begin to awaken the mind not to some ideal of a perfect spring where life is perpetual, eternal spring and happiness, but we're We're recognizing that's an ideal, but that's not the way life is. Life is about spring, yes, but it's about summer and autumn and winter. Report an error in the passage at 18:09

18:49 It's about tree leaves turning yellow and brown, falling off the trees. In the wintertime, all the trees are barren. Remember when the Thai monk came for the first time to England in the wintertime, And he looked, when we arrived at Heathrow Airport, we met him and we picked him up, we were driving down to Chithurst, and he looks around at the kind of cold, dreary English winter landscape, and he says, it's so sad, he said, all the trees are dead. Report an error in the passage at 18:49

19:30 And that's what it looked like in Thailand. They lose their leaves, but not all of them, but during the whole season. So you always have a good amount of foliage around. But in the northern climate, you get this barrenness, this bleakness. And then we compare it with spring. We say, oh, spring is better than winter. I want to live in a place where there's nothing but spring because I don't like winter. Report an error in the passage at 19:30

20:04 Now that is the mind that wants to control things, wants to hold on to some ideal and then try to make that possible in their lives to always have life at its best or its peak or what they want. But wisdom actually comes not through trying to control but through trying to understand because as you develop intuitive awareness then you can begin to appreciate. Report an error in the passage at 20:04

20:34 The bleakness of winter, rather than just comparing it with the vitality and prettiness of the spring. You begin to see that, recognize your own attachments to things, how you've made these strong attachments to views or opinions or ideas or to people or to places, to material possessions, to emotional habits. Report an error in the passage at 20:34

21:07 And then these attachments are endlessly being challenged because whatever we attach to, out of ignorance, out of not understanding the way things are, then we're bound to lose the things that we're attached to. And then we suffer grief and despair and anger, resentment about our losses. And we don't understand why life has to be like this. Report an error in the passage at 21:07

21:36 What did I do to deserve this, is the common cry. So, in letting go, letting go of life, letting go of attachment, then we oftentimes interpret that as we shouldn't be attached to anything. Report an error in the passage at 21:36

21:59 So that's going off to the other extreme, to say we're attached and then we shouldn't be attached. So that's a... An intellectual position, isn't it? That's the logic of attachment makes us suffer. Well, to stop suffering we should let go. And then letting go can imply to many minds getting rid of something. And would also imply getting rid of, we shouldn't be attached to the people we love, maybe. Report an error in the passage at 21:59

22:33 Like mothers will say, I can't, I'm attached to my children and I know it's wrong. I shouldn't be attached. What do you expect me to say to you? You should, you know, just run away from your children or send them off to the orphanage just to prove you're not attached? Report an error in the passage at 22:33

22:57 That's not non-attachment. That's not letting go. That's logically deducting about attachment and non-attachment. But what we're doing through letting go is not... getting rid of, not denying, not condemning or destroying, but understanding attachment, the suffering that comes through blind attachment. Report an error in the passage at 22:57

23:27 then we can let go. Report an error in the passage at 23:27

23:42 feeling at this moment the way it is whether you like it or not whether you want to feel like this not the point this is what you're feeling Report an error in the passage at 23:42

23:54 I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to feel like this. the feeling that you may not like and then you get caught up in trying to get rid of something than just if you are feeling bad right now having a bad feeling then it's If you accept that bad feeling, and then this is the paradox, accepting is also letting go, then that feeling will change and you'll be able to know its changingness and not be caught with just some blind aversion to it and Report an error in the passage at 23:54

25:04 Anxiety, worry, these kind of emotions which we suffer from enormously, we begin to look at now in terms of accepting them as they are in the present. Learning to just embrace them with your mind. Let them be what they are because as soon as you let things be, let things alone, then they naturally change and you're not making any problem about it. Report an error in the passage at 25:04

25:36 The unpleasantness of life, the misery of life, the misfortunes, the tragedies, the sicknesses, the pain, the losses. These are a part of human experience. This is part of everyone's life. I don't know anyone who's been able to sidestep all of that. Report an error in the passage at 25:36

25:59 It's a part, isn't it, of loss. It's a part of the human experience. Loss of loved ones. Seeing your parents get old and die isn't a part of everyone who lives long enough will have to observe. Report an error in the passage at 25:59

26:16 Seeing your parents get old and feeble and then die. Or loss of friends or even your own children might die before you do or your husband or your wife. Report an error in the passage at 26:16

26:31 And yet this is a normal experience. There's nothing wrong with this. There's nothing that shouldn't be. Because life is like this, this human realm is not meant to be something that you're attached to and you try to control and make it according to what you want. The opportunity that we have is through understanding, through wisdom, and through using this intuitive awareness, mindfulness, that we can actually use even the most unfortunate experiences. Report an error in the passage at 26:31

27:08 the unwanted occurrences be for enlightenment, for opening the mind, for seeing more clearly, for gaining strength and confidence in regards to this life. Report an error in the passage at 27:08

27:29 Letting go is letting be. Letting things be what they are. Now, the logic here is that right now, Whatever you're experiencing, it can only be the way it is right now. I mean, it'll change, but we can react and say, I don't want this to be this way. And then this is the suffering we create. We're creating something on top of the actual experience in the present. Report an error in the passage at 27:29

28:05 And that, they're compounding it. We're making it into a problem, into an issue in which then it becomes complicated. We become identified with it. And we start blaming people. We start saying, my suffering is due to you. Or my suffering is due to the government. Or my suffering is due to my mother or my father. Or whatever. Report an error in the passage at 28:05

28:33 I can always find somebody to blame. blame. Report an error in the passage at 28:33

28:39 It's interesting just to watch this tendency to blame. I remember catching myself one time when something happened. This was years ago down at Chitter. I even forget what the incident was, but it was something that wasn't very good. And my first reaction was, who's to blame? Report an error in the passage at 28:39

29:01 I thought that was, you hear, you know, I've... It's the last thing I want to be someone who goes around blaming people, but yet it's such a kind of automatic response. Who's to blame? Report an error in the passage at 29:01

29:19 So then I noticed in the earthquake in Turkey that happened a week ago, two weeks ago. There's so much effort to try to blame somebody. How can you blame an earthquake on anybody? Report an error in the passage at 29:19

29:37 The tendency is still tragedy. Pain and all that, blame the government, blame the army, blame whoever, anyone you can, because that's a kind of automatic reaction. We think somebody is making me unhappy, somebody is causing my unhappiness, somebody is creating my suffering. Report an error in the passage at 29:37

30:03 Now the practice of mindfulness and developing wisdom, then we begin to see through this illusion that, Report an error in the passage at 30:03

30:16 for instance, if somebody is particularly kind of trying to persecute me, I'm not imagining this, I'm not paranoid, this person's out to get me, spreading terrible rumors that aren't true. Report an error in the passage at 30:16

30:41 questions, this is the time. What I intended to do, I'll do maybe in the future, to put out pencil and pad of paper so then people can write out their questions. sometimes people, it's not, you know, it's pretty daunting to stand up and ask a question. I was intending to do that, but I didn't. Because I used to suffer from the same problem. Report an error in the passage at 30:41

31:15 Paralysis is talking in front of a group. Report an error in the passage at 31:15

31:22 You think I could always do this, don't you? Report an error in the passage at 31:22

31:33 Yes. Report an error in the passage at 31:33

31:45 Well, let's say I try to, and I'm more willing to, and it does work much better, because I used to get into a state where I'd feel pressured to make a decision, and then I tended to do it more, just choose something, and didn't really wait long enough for... Or, you know, too involved in some particular thing I had in my mind. Report an error in the passage at 31:45

32:26 So, like intuitive awareness allows you to bring into consciousness and into perspective more the different kind of things going on. Report an error in the passage at 32:26

32:38 Like a sense of, I used to suffer from a kind of sense of righteousness. of righteousness. And I would be thinking, well, I'm right, and so everybody should agree with me because I'm right. And then feel frustrated when they didn't, thinking they're wrong. And then intuitively I became more aware of this attachment to being right and how, you know, not that... Report an error in the passage at 32:38

33:17 Being right is wrong, but the attachment to it blinded me. So I could be right, but my righteousness was what was making everybody resist. Report an error in the passage at 33:17

33:33 I didn't have the wisdom and the patience to wait till the right time or present it in a way that it could be acceptable to people. Report an error in the passage at 33:33

33:49 So, like, a righteous person oftentimes is a very aggravating kind of person because it's very patronizing and conceited, you know. You know, I'm right, so you should believe me and do what I say. They kind of really, you know, you pick it up in your emotions and it really, oftentimes it just blinds you to what they're actually saying, you know, because you're feeling their... Report an error in the passage at 33:49

34:18 Their insensitivity, their conceit, which doesn't, even though they might be talking about something that's very good, that conceit and insensitivity do not enhance what they're saying. It tends to blind, to cover up what they're actually saying, or make it unacceptable. Report an error in the passage at 34:18

34:47 So intuition is, you begin to see that, like I began to notice how, you know, I began to contemplate that sense of that I'm right as an emotional, you know, through intuitive awareness rather than through being attached to it and working from the sense of, operating from the sense of my own righteousness. Report an error in the passage at 34:47

35:18 And then I could see, you know, how the suffering I was creating in my mind around it through the attachment was the problem. The Buddha always points to ubhadana or attachment. So even being attached to righteousness is suffering or attachment to goodness is suffering. Not that goodness is suffering or rightness is suffering, but attachment creates... Report an error in the passage at 35:18

35:58 in your own life. You see why you can think, I'm doing all the right things and yet I'm still miserable. And you just wonder why. And then you probably find you're attached to something or other. Report an error in the passage at 35:58

36:15 Once you begin to kind of zero in on that attachment problem, then you begin to understand letting go and letting things be. Report an error in the passage at 36:15

36:36 Yeah, like, you know, important decisions, you know, I really, like what happens when somebody kind of, Report an error in the passage at 36:36

37:18 it, or I will consider what you're saying as a way to give you more space, because it's not. not a nice thing to do to somebody to kind of push them up against the wall and say, I want your decision now. then I trust more Report an error in the passage at 37:18

37:57 about your own ability to make a decision because you begin to, you know, one day what seemed right isn't right the next day, will not seem right the next day. But if you be more patient, then something will happen. You'll begin to pick up on something you feel. You have an inner sense of it being what would be the right decision. Report an error in the passage at 37:57

38:25 And that's more of an intuition than anything. But it is, you know, sometimes they come quite immediately, but sometimes it takes a while. Report an error in the passage at 38:25

39:01 Well, it's, again, Report an error in the passage at 39:01

39:08 into, you know, like causes. It's a problem with a lot of idealists, idealistic people, is that the ideal they have is right, you know. So it's, you know, it's good, it's moral, it's right. And so that can't be denied. But then they can become really fanatical about it and get really heavy. Report an error in the passage at 39:08

39:40 And the more they become obsessed, they become zealous and fanatical, then they're not sensitive anymore. So they become oppressive. They can become tyrannical. So, you know, you just... Look at the history of communism. I'm sure that originally Marx's idea was to create an ideal society where everything was fair. Report an error in the passage at 39:40

40:10 I'm sure that was the point of it. So it was a kind of high-minded ideal and obviously inspired people enormously. The way it developed. In Europe was amazing and how powerful it became. But then what they used were tyrannical means. So they were trying to impose their communism on people through kind of shoving it down their throats. Report an error in the passage at 40:10

40:54 don't know. So when somebody's shoving something down your throat, even though it might be something very good, it hurts. Report an error in the passage at 40:54

41:06 So it's like the attitude of karma, law of karma. You can't have a good result if you use a bad means. So if you want a good result, you have to use a good means. Well, that's a very important reflection because the communists... Report an error in the passage at 41:06

41:28 They didn't have that view. They thought you could use violent means to have a peaceful result. So you just kill off the aristocracy, kill off all the intelligentsia, or just get rid of them, get them out of the way, then you'll have a peaceful society. But then even if you're successful at murder, at getting rid of these people, The very act of murder creates fear and paranoia. Then you've involved so many people in doing brutal and immoral acts that then the whole society becomes oppressed with fear and everything is held in secret. Report an error in the passage at 41:28

42:22 You have to have a Please force, you have the secret police, you have to spy on everybody. This increases the whole thing. So you're living in a state of continuous kind of paranoia because nobody can trust each other. There's no moral base agreement that you can build any trust on, even though the ideal is very high, very good. Report an error in the passage at 42:22

42:47 And that's why it's important to establish establish practice on a moral base than just aim for nibbāna right off. Report an error in the passage at 42:47

43:00 Enlightenment is what we all aspire to. But if we just try to get enlightened, then we're not establishing a connection to... To the earth we're living on, to the bodies we have, to our relationships with others, to the material world that we live in. So, I mean, we tend to dismiss this or we tend to exploit it or take advantage of it to fulfill our ideal. Report an error in the passage at 43:00

43:31 And then it's like hubris. You kind of destroy yourself in the process through your idealism. Like with Hitler, didn't he? He was trying to save Germany, but he destroyed it. It's like Pol Pot. He was the most ardent Cambodian nationalist about pure Cambodian culture, and he destroyed it. He absolutely didn't... Report an error in the passage at 43:31

44:08 It's just such a pathetic country now because its culture has been so brutalized. And the very thing that he was trying to save, he actually destroyed. And that's because, I mean, he was from a Buddhist background. He knew better. Hitler didn't know any better. Report an error in the passage at 44:08

44:29 But Pol Pot did. Report an error in the passage at 44:29

44:35 Yes? Report an error in the passage at 44:35

44:42 Well, like, those are habits, really, of the mind. So, and this is, so I mean, you've just developed, you know, as you get older too, these things become more kind of deeply, they become more increasingly, they become stronger, unless you begin to resolve them. And so, but that doesn't mean getting rid of them, but in changing your attitudes, your attitude towards it. Report an error in the passage at 44:42

45:18 Like with worry, one technique I found useful was, because I was always trying to stop worrying, that I didn't find that helped at all, you know. So you're just trying to always control your mind, and so then you can kind of interfere with it, but then it all... It rebounds back again very quickly. So then what I did, well, I'll start worrying quite intentionally. So I started intentionally worrying and listening to it. Report an error in the passage at 45:18

46:03 I start really thinking out my worries fully and taking them almost to absurdity. And that helped to get perspective on it because when you're Because what you're doing, what Report an error in the passage at 46:03

46:33 worry does to us is that we don't like it, we know we shouldn't, and it's suffering. So there's a lot of resistance, and that resistance is an attachment to it. The more you resist something, the stronger you get involved with it. so just by trying to stop worrying you tend to worry more so then just well then I'm going to really worry aware but not in And if you go on like that, Then you can, the old habits say, oh, stop worrying, you know, just stiff upper lip, you know, don't worry, you shouldn't worry, everything's going to be all right. Report an error in the passage at 46:33

47:37 Or then I'd start really thinking it out and listening to it. So, and then I found that helpful in the way that I could actually begin to see that that which is paying attention to, that which is aware of the thinking mind, Report an error in the passage at 47:37

47:57 You know, more and more I trust that. And I don't believe in all the other, the thoughts anymore. And also changing my attitude from trying to stop worrying to welcoming worrying. And really learning from it. You know, like investing, what does it feel like? You know, just to ask yourself questions around this. Report an error in the passage at 47:57

48:27 And what, you know, because, you know, like I could see it, my experience of worry is like this kind of, kind of phantom haze that just hangs around, you know. It's not all that bad, you know, it's not like, you know, you get used to it and it just kind of, yeah, and it's, and it kind of, but it just, you know, it's just a kind of, kind of something that destroys joy and happiness in your life because it just kind of hangs on you. Report an error in the passage at 48:27

48:58 So that's how I experience worry. How you experience it, you can use your own images or whatever, but just to start looking at it in terms of what it really is to you as you're getting this kind of mood that your worries start from, you start beginning to see it. And that which sees it, is what is your refuge, not the mood. Report an error in the passage at 48:58

49:33 Yes? Report an error in the passage at 49:33

49:47 The worries will find anything to worry about. Report an error in the passage at 49:47

50:05 Right, to determine that. Yeah, very good. You're doing all right. Report an error in the passage at 50:05

50:43 Yeah, well, like thinking out your worries, intentionally worrying, you can carry it out to absurdity. You know, because if you really, if you take something like worrying about weeding the garden or something like that, then you really kind of carry it through, you know, quite intentionally. It becomes very funny, actually, because you see how absurd these things really are. Report an error in the passage at 50:43

51:16 I used to, you know, see, you know, like a... Being head of a community and all the responsibilities that come from being in this position. Years ago, when it was fairly new and I didn't have much experience, then the mind would easily get into worrying. Report an error in the passage at 51:16

51:47 And so I'd use this technique. And I could think it out into where it would really be, you know, totally absurd, you know, my concern about that I'm responsible for everything and everybody's enlightenment and everywhere to where, you know, you begin to laugh at yourself. And this was, like Lungpho Chah was very good at this, getting, he would get us to, he used a lot of humor. Report an error in the passage at 51:47

52:23 And where we could start laughing at ourselves. Because like many Western people, we oftentimes take ourselves so seriously. And we're there and we're going to get it. And we're dead serious about it all. And that kind of... And if you can't laugh at yourself, then... And that just drives you into real rigid tense feelings and headaches and mental breakdowns and everything. Report an error in the passage at 52:23

53:03 So that laughter is a great, is an important part of it. Because to see the absurdity of our life, like being a monk, it's a kind of absurdity, isn't it, to be a Buddhist monk. and so he Report an error in the passage at 53:03

53:24 Wearing a robe like this in this country and so on. So you start, you're not taking it too seriously, you know, because if you, you know, you can take being a Buddhist monk very seriously to where after a while you don't want to be one anymore because it's so lacking in humor, you know, and it's such a hard life. Report an error in the passage at 53:24

53:55 Yes? Report an error in the passage at 53:55

54:01 Well, like the perception of God can vary. Like if you have one view of God, it can make you very worried. Because the kind of Old Testament God is a very kind of severe, jealous, patriarchal figure. that that you know does terrible things to you if you disobey you can you know you can really get guilt-ridden if your perception of God is on that level then say in Christian Report an error in the passage at 54:01

54:40 they real faith in God not not as a not but more from an intuitive level is Report an error in the passage at 54:40

55:24 than as a punishing father. And that will then bring a sense of trust because you're more willing to take risks and to trust in life if you have some kind of faith in some ultimate loving reality. Report an error in the passage at 55:24

55:52 And so you can oftentimes let go of a lot of the pettiness of life and the endless kind of worrying and fidgeting around all the petty details of society and that people create because you have trust in something greater and something that is forgiving and loving rather than God as something punishing and In Buddhism, it's like the refuge in Buddha Dhammasanga. Report an error in the passage at 55:52

56:33 It's something that is really important to develop. For those of us who came into Buddhism when we were adults, like you were born into Buddhist... Report an error in the passage at 56:33

56:52 So a lot of your cultural conditioning is quite, you know, is mixed with concepts like Buddha Dhamma Saṅgha. And it's quite ingrained as part of a cultural basis where we oftentimes lack that. And so we come into Buddhism, say, when we're adults. Report an error in the passage at 56:52

57:18 And sometimes we don't find a refuge because maybe we come through inspiration, through being inspired. And that inspiration doesn't last very long. So then to develop Buddhadharma Saṅgha, I've used that as a kind of... Report an error in the passage at 57:18

57:42 conundrum over the years, a kind of koan to, you know, like the If I'm taking refuge in Buddha, what is Bhutan Sarananga Chami right now? Rather than some kind of abstract formula that you recite. And so then I begin to internalize this sense of refuge. We call it internalizing Buddha, the refuge in Buddha. Report an error in the passage at 57:42

58:08 Then it becomes very strong and very... Report an error in the passage at 58:08

58:39 You know, very strong, where in the beginning it wasn't. I could say that, but I couldn't actually trust that much. I'd usually be pulled back into the habit of worrying. But as you keep developing that, cultivating that sense of refuge, and a lot of Western people attracted to Buddhism tend to be, Atheists oftentimes have aversion to God, so that they're kind of rebelling or going against that because maybe they had a bad experience with Christianity or whatever. Report an error in the passage at 58:39

59:29 So oftentimes we interpret Buddhism as an atheistic religion or a godless religion. Because it doesn't have a kind of metaphysical doctrine that defines that reality. But then in terms of practice, I feel that as you're developing this, This awareness and beginning to trust it more and more. Then, even when you read like Christian mystics and that, when they're talking about God and things like that, you can kind of feel it, you know, you're no longer just literally interpreting something according to a cultural habit, but you're more aware, intuitively aware of how words are used for pointing toward Report an error in the passage at 59:29

1:00:28 Trying to describe a realization or a reality. So that was where I used to be quite critical of Christianity because I saw it in terms of, I took it, my version of it was too literal and was a child's form of Christianity really because it didn't develop into a more mature Report an error in the passage at 1:00:28

1:01:02 as I developed within Buddhist practice, then a lot of the problems around God and these things just resolve themselves into where, you know, I can, you know, you have meetings with, we have some really warm friendships with a lot of Christians this area, and with, like, And especially those who practice meditation. Monks, Christian monks or nuns. Yes? Report an error in the passage at 1:01:02

1:01:42 Well, like in Christianity, they have different levels of prayer. Also, like there's a kind where you're asking for something. And then there's more meditative, more mature kinds of prayers that they have. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:42

1:02:03 In Buddhism, the mentality that asks for something, usually, now how that tends to get put into practice in Buddhism is because we wouldn't pray to Buddha or to Dhamma or to Saṅgha to give us what we want. That just doesn't make sense. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:03

1:02:31 But oftentimes in Thailand, for example, they'll find other deities, like they'll have various, like you have Ganesha cults and things like this that fulfill that, you know, that you pray to or you give offerings to in order to get to make a fortune or something. And so because that's a certain level of mental development that you find in any society, then... Report an error in the passage at 1:02:31

1:03:00 Then there's the kind of make-merit approach where it's like putting money in the bank. You do a lot of good acts and then you accumulate good karma so you get a better rebirth. So this birth might not be such a good one, but if you give food to monks every morning and things like that, then... You'll get reborn in the next life maybe as a Devadar, a beautiful Devadar up in the heavens. And that kind of thing is oftentimes, even though this is not Buddhist teaching, it's still something that Buddhists, often as Buddhists will believe in. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:00

1:03:52 But then in terms of I don't know the English words for these different levels of prayer, but say in Buddhism we recognize the power of goodness and that to do good acts and to do it without any, try to do good without trying to get something back, even a better rebirth. So like our teacher in Thailand, Ajahn Chah, would try to encourage people to give or to be generous or to help people or do good works in the society just because that is its own reward and because it's a good thing, not in order to get some reward or some acknowledgement back. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:52

1:04:50 And so this is like this idea of... of doing good works as a selfless act. Of course, the result, I find, is a sense of joyfulness. Like joy to me is where you're doing good things without demanding any kind of reward for it. As soon as I want something back, then there's no joy in it. Joy is not... is not, the experience of selflessness. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:50

1:05:54 Then we also develop this sharing the blessings of our lives. So say like for monks and nuns we're living here, developing our spiritual life, but not just for ourselves, not just so I can get enlightened for myself, but also for the welfare of all beings. So that the good things we do and our spiritual life Development and commitments are not just selfish things that invert us toward just self-concern, but the attitude of always sharing the blessings with others. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:54

1:06:37 The Buddhist paradigm really is a universal one where, say, what I'm doing now Whatever good that's coming from this right now, may this goodness be a blessing to all beings. And that includes even the devils. We share the blessings of our life with devils and with all the worst ones as well as the best. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:37

1:07:19 Because, you see, you're not... you're not even you realize that that just goodness alone is good for everything you know good for the the evil you know helps the in problems of of resolving evil tendencies or like like the idea of love hatred and never can let's see love love can overcome come hatred but hatred if you just If you hate somebody and then you act on it, then you just increase it. Where loving, ability to love then is where hatred can cease. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:19

1:08:00 So as we develop our lives in a good way and try to live in as selfless a way as possible and sharing the blessings of our lives, then this is for the welfare of everybody, of every creature. And this is how we see it as Buddhists. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:00

1:08:32 Well, what we recite usually are Buddhist teachings, and we recite the suttas, and this is a custom of Pāli chanting, and then also blessings, like thinking the highest thoughts, so that we're actually using our minds to produce, say, the finest altruistic thoughts and blessings. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:32

1:09:03 So it's not like we're asking for anything or praying to anybody, but recognizing the interconnectedness of life and the power of goodness and offering that. And then a ceremony is a way of bringing everybody together to do something at the same time. So like puja, morning, evening chanting. Or we have like wedding blessings. People have come to have their wedding, their marriage blessed or baby blessings, things like this. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:03

1:09:39 And these are ceremonies meant to include everybody so that we're actually all working together, producing the best thoughts and directing it towards, say, the baby or the newly married couple, things like that. And it has a tremendous power of focusing the mind and to bring a disparate group of people into a kind of momentary union of everyone focused and skillful means being used. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:39

1:10:23 We aren't always sure that that's happening for everybody, but at least... That's what we're encouraging. And then you find that these do have a lot of power. I mean, people who are very suspicious and doubtful about all these things, you know, can be quite, and put them down as being religious hocus pocus. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:23

1:10:47 I mean, if you've ever been involved with them for any length of time, they do have a very kind of, they do affect you, you know, in a good way. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:47

1:10:58 And even, like say a baby blessing, say an English couple who may become Buddhists, they have a baby, and then they invite their in-laws who are non-Buddhists. Maybe the in-laws all think their son and daughter are a bit daft for being Buddhists. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:58

1:11:23 views about Buddhism, and they bring their grandparents and their relatives and friends and people that might have no interest or sympathy with Buddhism, but come for this wedding blessing here at Amaravati. So you get a group of people who know nothing about Buddhism at all, who might be even a bit standoffish and think the worst about out as some kind of cult. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:23

1:11:53 The branch Dravidians or something. But then when you explain the value of a ceremony, I mean, it's about surprising how inspired some of them get by it because it actually is appealing to our good natures. And we all want, when our friends get married or they have a baby or something, there's something in us that wants to no, no. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:53

1:12:22 You just don't want to just ignore it or just say good luck and just kind of see it in a dismissive way or just in a kind of lazy way. Something about, you know, putting some effort in to gather the people to perform a ceremony, to have a bit of ritual that calms the mind, chanting. Like Pāli chanting tends to have quite calming effects on people's minds and then... Report an error in the passage at 1:12:22

1:12:52 And then to encourage everybody sending forth their best thoughts and wishes to this couple. And so everybody's participating and it has a very, you know, at worst it's harmless. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:52

1:13:13 Yes? Report an error in the passage at 1:13:13

1:13:19 It was more of an intuition, I think. And it's like something happens that you, and even I'm surprised. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:19

1:13:34 Because I was brought up as a Christian, and I quite liked it. My parents were very good people, and my experience with Christianity, I have very happy memories about it. So it wasn't like I... Report an error in the passage at 1:13:34

1:14:03 I had a bad experience with it. And my parents were not particularly pushy or heavy around religion. So I never felt like, you know, they were just forcing me to go to church and things. But I actually liked going. We were high church Anglicans. So I liked that. I liked the incense and the ceremonies and the choir music and all that. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:03

1:14:32 So it was very, you know, quite a beautiful religion. And it meant a lot up to a certain age. And then when I started getting into questioning, my parents and the priest, all they get frustrated with me and couldn't answer the questions. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:32

1:14:56 So I began to lose, I began to get very... kind of annoyed and critical of them then and of course in American society it is a secular society so you have know you're Science was the best thing that human beings produced and religion was for the archaeological museum. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:56

1:15:31 And so that was generally, you know, the kind of university life that I had, that was generally what people thought, at least my peers, that you were stupid if you were religious. You were intelligent if you were a scientist. So everything was moving in that pointing to rational thought is the highest human attainment. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:31

1:15:55 When I came across Buddhism, I was in the military. the military and uh... And I think military life made me so miserable that I really experienced, suffering became very real for me. And the thing that attracted to me was the questioning, that Buddhism allowed you to question everything. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:55

1:16:27 And then because of that, they gave you the right and encourage questioning and examination. I've just felt so much, I felt, you know, really a kind of trust in it. Where before, the priest and my parents would say, you have to believe, you know, and then there was no, but I couldn't do that, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:27

1:16:53 The more they insisted, the less I was able to do it. So it just, you know, I became frustrated by that because... You can't make yourself believe in something just because people tell you to. So then with Buddhism, they didn't do that. So then I could question and investigate. And then when I went to Thailand in 1966, it was with the I wanted to learn to practice. I knew I'd read enough. I didn't want to read anymore, study it. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:53

1:17:41 I wanted to put it into practice. And then I felt like the vipassanā practices in Theravāda Buddhism were so brilliant and helpful. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:41

1:17:55 The Saripatthana. My mind was just so ripe for that, for that kind of A reflective awareness on suffering and its causes and the Four Noble Truths. And so that first year that I practiced meditation, I just had blazing insights into the Noble Truths. It just created so much faith that even the second and third year, which I've said before, were not so... Report an error in the passage at 1:17:55

1:18:33 Vibrant and insightful, but I still had the faith to endure, say, the dreariness of life, and still do. I mean, I still, you know, the faith over all these years is just so strong now because of the practice of it. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:33

1:18:55 Yes? Report an error in the passage at 1:18:55

1:19:01 Well, it's interesting because when I was in the Navy, I was about 19 years old. My sister was married to a naval officer. And I was in the boot camp training program in San Diego in the naval base. And her husband was on a ship overseas. And she just had a baby. So she was living in an apartment not far from the naval base. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:01

1:19:42 So I used to have weekends off and I'd go and see my sister. And she's two years older than I am, and she's a very devout Christian, still is, a Catholic. And so eventually I told her that I no longer believed in God, I remember. And I remember her getting almost hysterical. And just, you know, I could see she was very frightened. And... Report an error in the passage at 1:19:42

1:20:14 And, and. She got really quite emotional about it, and a lot of fear of me being damned or being punished for rejecting God. And I remember when she was doing that, when she was getting so upset and hysterical about it, and this insight, then I remember thinking, I think... Ajahn Report an error in the passage at 1:20:14

1:21:19 God, did... I've always felt that I never really did, you know, in terms of that which is truly wise and ultimate reality. But for years I couldn't use the word God because it always brought back this awful image that I didn't like, you know, of the kind of clawing thing, you know. We were told that when we were naughty, God cried and things like this. And it just made me sick. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:19

1:22:00 So I didn't have a very, you know, I didn't like that kind of a God. I couldn't respect it very much. But then underneath that, I've always more intuitively had this sense that what I was doing was something God approved of. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:00

1:22:23 Because it was. It wasn't based on... Even it could look selfish, I guess, to some. It wasn't meant to just be selfish or just to reject Christianity maliciously or to try to harm it in any way. It's trying to break through the rigid icons of a child's mind. And there's something that you intuitively knew was greater than that. And yet the people around you still operate within these very limited symbols that you no longer could even, you couldn't believe in them anymore. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:23

1:23:08 And you felt quite averse to the symbols oftentimes. But then it's interesting, in the past few years, even the word God I can use now. Well, I used to not be able to use that word at all, I mean, without feeling ill at ease with it. But it's like as you're developing mindfulness, you're opening up to the reality, and it's beyond the words. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:08

1:23:43 And you can use words that point to that reality, like God was a word that points to that. So it isn't like, but God is no longer a separate kind of male patriarch who cries when I'm naughty. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:43

1:24:13 Right, it's like the word God also is usually, like in Greek or Latin, it's what, theos, it's where the word God oftentimes is, From the Germanic words, which often meant the Nordic gods, or pagan gods, which were like... But it's interesting how powerful the English word god has become. But you wonder, the law of karma, you oftentimes wonder about the karma of that word, because you oftentimes get a kind of... Report an error in the passage at 1:24:13

1:25:03 or Thor figure out of it. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:03

1:25:12 That was in the name, wasn't it? weren't even supposed to name God, was used like Elihu or something like and that wasn't a name was it? Report an error in the passage at 1:25:12