← B. Alan Wallace

Shamatha Retreat with Alan Wallace 2012 (part 4)

B. Alan Wallace · 2012 · 58 min · Vajrayana Institute via Internet Archive

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  • 2:28

    That one might feel one wants to just whiz by it. Oh yeah, I already know about that. But the practice tonight is a balancing act, as shamatha always is from start to finish. And the balancing act is to relax more and more and more and more and more deeply. As if your whole body is falling asleep. That's one aspect. Relax more and more deeply. But that's not a balancing act, that's just getting more relaxed. But the balancing act...

  • 9:07

    To continue releasing into it. Save you so much time down the road. Because so many of the problems that arise in meditation, shamatha being no exception at all, is when the desire for the fruit of the meditation outweighs the desire to actually do the meditation. So you're doing the meditation, but you're always, are we there yet? How am I progressing? Use this awful demonic term, progress. Am I progressing? Am I progressing?

  • 23:35

    So, clinging an attachment to hedonic stimulation, not just sensual pleasures, it's fame, it's wealth. The whole nine yards, all the attractions and bounties, the pleasures of the desire realm. And so this is called hedonic pleasure, stimulation. And so you're free. Not irreversibly and completely, but that craving, that attachment, that clinging to hedonic stimulation and pleasure, it's gone dormant.

  • 35:20

    And exactly this practice, but in the supine position, letting awareness come down to the ground, but even in the supine position, there's a lot of ground. And that is, there's a lot of contact at the back of your head, your shoulders, your back, your buttocks, the thighs, back of the calves, all the way down to the heels. There's a lot of contact with the bed, which means a lot of earth element, sensations of firmness and solidity. So let your awareness come and just rest there, kind of like a ground fog.

  • 45:48

    to sustain in this practice remains right there in the immediacy of perceptual, conceptually unmediated knowing. of some profound earth-shattering truth or deepest dimension of reality, just like a sensation of breathing. we're doing that. And that will go deep. it is simple.

0:27 I mentioned to Cameron that on occasion, especially Westerners, sometimes maybe Tibetans, engaging in a lot of discursive meditation can just start to get tighter and tighter and tighter. And then the practice winds up being counterproductive. You wind up getting totally stressed out. But it's not only in discursive meditation that this can happen. Report an error

0:52 Among the people who've come to the Phuket retreats, there's one that really comes to mind very sincere. Very ethical, very strong motivation. Young, very strong mind, young man who was very drawn to the practice. Went off to retreat after Phuket, kind of wanting to really go for it and could not do it. Report an error

1:18 It's a very ideal situation, very good retreat center, support, all of that, no financial worries. But after just a couple of weeks, a week or two into solitary retreat, just started getting tighter. And tighter and tighter. So he had to cut back from seven hours to six to five to three. And every time he'd sit, he'd just start going into kind of seizure, like mental tightness and physical tightness. Report an error

1:43 And just like tight as a ball of barbed wire. So he had to come out of retreat. So I just wanted to mention that, that it's not just discursive meditation that can tie you up in knots. It's also non-discursive meditation. And of course I taught him the obvious things. Oh, just relax, relax, relax. Practice four measurables. Practice loving kindness. I gave him the whole ball of yarn. Report an error

2:08 I told him everything. Couldn't do it. Couldn't do it. Just too tight. And so it was a failure for the time being. I'm a person not a failure, but just for the time being retreat was not something he could do. Again, total sincerity. But this practice we're going to do tonight is so simple. That one might feel one wants to just whiz by it. Oh yeah, I already know about that. But the practice tonight is a balancing act, as shamatha always is from start to finish. Report an error

2:44 And the balancing act is to relax more and more and more and more and more deeply. As if your whole body is falling asleep. That's one aspect. Relax more and more deeply. But that's not a balancing act, that's just getting more relaxed. But the balancing act... It's to become more and more relaxed without losing the clarity that you have right now, which is not incredible, it's not fantastic, but I don't see anybody snoozing off right now. Report an error

3:11 And so just that level of clarity you have right now, just don't lose that. Very often when we just lie down, we go for a nap, we're just kind of hanging out, then we get more and more relaxed, and then we just go, and then we're out. We either get really dozy or daisy or groggy or woozy, all kinds of words for that. Report an error

3:31 But we know it's like just sleepy. And so we get more and more relaxed, but we just get duller and duller until we simply fall asleep. That's easy to do. It's called taking a nap. Report an error

3:42 Whereas here it is letting your body, it's as if your body is taking a nap, but you remain awake. It's as if you're falling asleep lucidly. As if, as if. So for these practices, we'll do two sessions. I'm going to give very little, maybe one more minute preliminary. We're going to jump right in. Supine position is very, very good. Report an error

4:00 Very, very good. And especially tonight, quite possibly tomorrow, if you're in the supine position and you're doing this practice, you're doing it well, you may indeed fall asleep. That's okay. If you fall asleep, it's probably because you're tired. Most people are walking around with some sleep deprivation anyway. So if you fall asleep, not a problem. Report an error

4:19 That means you're not maintaining the balancing act, but at least you're getting a nap. And there's something to be said for getting a nap. If you've not had enough sleep, then getting caught up in sleep is actually the first task. But if you think there's any chance in these two sessions right now that you might fall asleep and once you've fallen asleep, quite possibly snore, then what I would request is that when you find your place to go into supine position, that you're within arm's reach of your nearest neighbor. Report an error

4:51 Okay? Arm's reach. And that should you snore, you're giving your permission just by being silent right now, you're giving your permission that if you snore, The person next to you is you've already given permission. By your tacit silence right now, you've given permission that your nearest neighbor can toggle either your hand or your foot. Report an error

5:14 They can't go up above the wrist and they can't go up above the ankle. That's private property. But you're putting your hands and your feet in public domain. And the person gets to toggle and toggle until the snoring stops. Because snoring is a little bit distracting. So it's not that you need to wake up. If you want to wake up, you want to be asleep, that's your business. It's private. But if you're snoring, it's public. So by our tacit silence, I'm assuming everybody is giving permission that if you're snoring, your nearest neighbor is allowed to toggle your foot or your hand until you stop snoring. Report an error

5:47 Okay? All agreed. So there it is. Without further ado, please find a comfortable position, including the supine. And I would encourage this not as some kind of a flaky thing, or if you can't really meditate, go supine. It's actually a very good skill to cultivate. I strongly recommend, I've been encouraged by my, especially one of my principal teachers, Gyacharya Rinpoche, really see if you can overcome the old tendency of whenever you're in a supine position, you just get drowsy and space out. Report an error

6:15 Develop the skill to be able to relax more and more deeply, whether sitting or lying down, and maintain clarity. It's a pot of gold. It's really so useful. So please find a comfortable position. If you want to sit all the time, that's just fine, but physical discomfort is just a hassle. So please find a comfortable position. We'll have two back-to-back sessions with about a two to three minute break in between during which you can rest, switch positions if you so desire. Report an error

6:42 Two 24 minute sessions. Report an error

· · ·

7:20 I'll share once again a very short story I've told many times in the past, but it is relevant. I had the good fortune to actually be with His Holiness Dalai Lama when he heard that he'd won the Nobel Peace Prize. He was in California at the time. I wasn't in the same room with him, but we were in the same house. And the day after the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, some television crew, flew down to California to interview him. Report an error

7:48 I was not on camera, I was just in the room listening to the interview. And the only part of the interview I remember was the broadcaster asking His Holiness, Is it necessary to have a guru to achieve enlightenment? Which I thought was kind of an odd question for a person, you know. A good question, just not one I expected. Report an error

8:10 And of course, having studied Dharma for quite a few years, I knew the right answer. Snap, snap. We all do. Anybody studied Buddhism for a while. Report an error

8:20 But the Dalai Lama didn't give a snap, snap kind of answer. He paused, reflected. He said, no, not necessary. But it can save you a lot of time. Report an error

8:37 So I'm not really here in the role of guru. I don't really have any great passion to be anybody's guru. If I can just master my own mind, that would be something. But I am here to save you some time. That I think I can do by the blessings of my own teachers, the wonderful teachings I've encountered. And this little practice we did here looks like so simple, almost simple-minded. Report an error

9:00 It can save you an enormous amount of time to linger here, to savor it, to go into it, to release into it. To continue releasing into it. Save you so much time down the road. Because so many of the problems that arise in meditation, shamatha being no exception at all, is when the desire for the fruit of the meditation outweighs the desire to actually do the meditation. Report an error

9:25 So you're doing the meditation, but you're always, Report an error

9:30 are we there yet? How am I progressing? Use this awful demonic term, progress. Am I progressing? Am I progressing? Are we there yet? Am I achieving something? It's like a little preta going, you know, instead of just doing the practice, you're always anticipating something that's in the future that hasn't happened yet. Report an error

9:53 It's a total, total self-demolition. It really louses up the practice. It's like going to a gourmet restaurant. I went to one once in my life. Somebody else was a host. I think it was 11 courses. It took us five hours to eat it. Second best restaurant in the world, I was told. Right here in Australia, right here in Sydney. Report an error

10:19 But imagine that. I mean, it was just a whole five-hour display of art, of gourmet art. That's what it was. But imagine being a total schmuck. And when you're eating the first course, thinking, yeah, but what about the second course? And then they're serving the second course, and yeah, but what about the third course? And then they're eating the dessert, and yeah, what about the check? Report an error

10:43 Then you would have wasted the whole meal. You know, always thinking about, but what's next? And what comes after this? And what comes after this? Instead of saying, oh, wow, this is for every course. When I'm in the course, I'm just doing this alone. I'm not thinking about the next course. I'm just right here, totally in it. So, in this practice, as soon as you enter into the practice, if you can relinquish all desire, all anticipation, all hopes, all fears, all sense, am I progressing, am I not progressing? Report an error

11:15 All of that. Relinquish it all. Give up. Give up all hope, ye who enter here, while you're doing the practice. It's not, of course, to say the practice, if it's properly engaged in, if it doesn't yield good results. Of course, why else would we do it? But when you're actually doing the practice, give up all hope. And by the way, give up all fear, too. And so if you can just rest there, just in that utter simplicity, and take total satisfaction, like 100 % satisfied customer, Report an error

11:51 Right while you're doing it, that's all you want to do. And you're just there, content to do that. Then you're on a path that can just continue to flower indefinitely. But as long as you have the anticipation, I want, I want, I want. That is, I want something I don't have. That's just going to louse you up. Report an error

12:13 That's like driving down the road and throwing nails in front of your car. So, it can save you a lot of time. A lot of time. Report an error

12:25 So. We have a fair amount of time, but we don't have to sit here. Any questions or comments, insights, revelations? Anything coming up? If not, we can head on out. I'm not going to give a Dharma talk. Yes, please. Microphone's coming, and your first name first, please. My name is Vanessa. Vanessa? Vanessa. Yes, thank you. I felt that I was doing the lying down. Good. And probably my mind today has been a bit sluggish. Report an error

12:58 Sure. But I got bitten by a mosquito. So before that I was quite relaxed. And after that I couldn't then let the body relax again. A mosquito had the audacity to bite you here? Exactly. In this room? Let's make a complaint to the front desk. Okay, so the mosquito bit you and that's when the drama began. Report an error

13:21 To relax the body again. So it happened in the first session. So I then tried to lie down again. But it's almost like my, you know when you're on a plane and you really want to run but you're stuck? You know, you, I don't know if you've ever had this. You've been on a plane and you really want to run? You know when you have to stay, or you feel like you have to stay still, like you're trying to get your body to relax again. Report an error

13:49 Right, right. And then, or you can't. Right, right, right. Sometimes it happens, sure. Yeah, like this young man that I mentioned. I mean, he, very bright young man. And he knew the instructions inside and out. He knew exactly what he was supposed to do and he couldn't do it. And I kept on coming back to the key. I mean, it's the out-breath. Report an error

14:08 It's the out-breath. Release, release, release. Couldn't do it. Couldn't do it. So it was appropriate. He's not given up. I'm not giving up on him at all. But for the time being, he needs to pull out, reboot, get out of retreat, mellow out, get back into his skin, back into present moment. And then at his leisure, he can go back and retreat if he so wishes. Report an error

14:29 But that's it. It's learning how to do that. Go ahead. Well, it's funny because I felt so relaxed beforehand and I felt relaxed all day and it's almost like something like that happens and all this underlying agitation that's probably been sitting there but his mask is like... Yeah. This turns out to be both somatically and psychologically a great truth of this practice and that is... Report an error

14:57 We enter into a state of calm, of ease, of release and we can come to kind of a plateau and think, ah, good, this is shamatha, this is calm abiding. And then there's an eruption down from beneath and suddenly, oh, this isn't calm at all. And topsy-turvy, psychologically, emotions coming up, memories, desires, all kinds of things, really like kind of just sitting on top of a volcano or a geyser and suddenly, oh, not so peaceful. Report an error

15:22 And then, but if you can continue to release around that. Not get caught up in the drama. Not get caught up, not go into seizure around the mosquito bite or whatever, impulses, surges of energy. All kinds of things can happen in the body. This is one very complex system. Not just in terms of the brain. That's what the neuroscientists know from outside. Report an error

15:44 Of course, almost inconceivably complex. But what they can't see from outside. Is this something that can be experienced from the inside? And that's this whole network of chakras, of nadis, the flow of pranas and so forth. It's as real as anything else, but you just can't observe it objectively. But then you can't observe any of the mind objectively either. So what does that tell us? The limitations of science, not the reality of the mind or the reality of prāṇa. Report an error

16:11 So the point here is that as we relax more and more deeply, it's not just doing it right and say, okay, now I'm relaxed, now I've got there. But rather we get there and then something comes up, whether it's a mosquito bite, whether it's a surge of energy, it's just something happening within the system. Report an error

16:27 And then it's to melt around that and go to a deeper level. And then something comes up and go to a deeper level and a deeper level. So it's an ongoing flow, but it's not homogenous. It's not a linear progression, neither to greater and greater stability, vividness, nor to deeper and deeper relaxation. It's very uneven. Report an error

16:47 It's choppy. It comes and then it's disruption and then there's a loosening. But it doesn't all happen automatically or necessarily. It comes from releasing around the eruptions, whether it's energetic eruptions in the body or emotional eruptions in the mind and learning how to loosen up around it, let it flow up, assimilate, melt away and then... Report an error

17:24 My name is Jeff. Jeff. You said that you're not on the path until you've attained shamatha. You're not on the path when you achieve shamatha either. That's why I gave that analogy of the on-ramp with the red light. You're not on any path if all you've achieved is shamatha. Then you're actually on an on-ramp, but whether you'll just stay on that on-ramp indefinitely and then slide off again, that's an open question. But according to all the teachings I've received from some pretty extraordinary... Report an error

17:56 Contemplatives and scholars, including one of the foremost teachers of Sri Lanka, I had the Greek good fortune, Ananamaitreya, Balangoda Ananamaitreya, and other teachers in Nikalupa and so forth, to achieve Madhaka, to achieve Madhaka, the shamatha is necessary but not sufficient. Report an error

18:14 And that is, if all you have is a passion, it's just not enough, it doesn't have the staying power. It doesn't have the power to penetrate right down to the marrow, right down to the core, and bring about universal transformation. That's why, The union of Samādhi Vipassanā is really the trademark, the sign, the insignia of Buddhist meditation. Not just one, not just the other, the fusion of the two. Report an error

18:36 So that's the key, the fusion of Samādhi Vipassanā. That gets you to the marga. Go ahead. And so where does bodhicitta fit in? Can that come first or does it have to come first? Very good question. I don't want to oversimplify and yet I will say what I believe to be true and it's based upon... Very profound teachings that I've received. There is some discussion about this in the Tibetan tradition among very accomplished masters. What I've been taught, which makes intuitively really good sense to me, and that is, let's pose it in the form of a question, is it possible to develop bodhicitta without having achieved shamatha? Report an error

19:11 The answer is unequivocally yes, with beyond debate. So nobody's debating that. So can you develop it? No question you can. Can you develop the four measurables, which are kind of like the four foundations of bodhicitta? Loving kindness, compassion, empathy, joy, equanimity. Can you develop those, cultivate those, deepen those without having achieved shamatha? The answer is unequivocally yes. But then let's return to bodhicitta, which is the gateway, the entry to the Mahāyāna path. Report an error

19:45 But it's now not just having developed bodhicitta, it's gotten to the point where it arises spontaneously. In Tibetan it's called Jumma Mayim Bijan Chukisim. And that is the uncontrives, uncontrived, effortless. When bodhicitta becomes so deeply rooted that it is simply your mind. Your mind is bodhicitta. It is a mind. Report an error

20:08 I think the best translation here that I can come up with, I've been reflecting on it for decades, is awakening mind. It has a lot of good translations and I've translated it differently. But I think since we have to, if we're going to translate it, your mind now is awakening. Report an error

20:25 It is awakening. The flower is budding, the seed is germinating. It is awakening. But your mind is bodhicitta when you no longer have to rev it up. So it's rather like this. You put the key in the ignition and maybe if you just put it in and turn a little bit it goes, and then it stops. Report an error

20:49 Or maybe it's a bit better, kick-starting a motorcycle, the old motorcycles where you kick-start it. But when you stop kicking it, then it goes, and then it stops. Okay, and then it stops. So that's contrived bodhicitta. That's generated bodhicitta. And that is when you're actually doing bodhicitta meditation, whether through the four measurables or any of the various methods from Asanga, from Shantideva, the union, As taught by Tsongkhapa and so forth. When you're doing it, it arises. But when you stop doing it, it kind of tapers off a bit. It goes back into default mode. Report an error

21:30 But continue doing that. And then at some point, then it's like turning the ignition or kick-starting the motorcycle. And then even though you're not kick-starting it anymore, it goes, oh. And that just keeps on running and running and running. And so then the engine's turned on. And now your mind is awakening. It's not an awakened mind, that's Buddhahood. But your mind is awakening. It's now in the process, it's in the flow. Report an error

21:55 But now for your cultivation of bodhicitta to get that deep, that it actually turns on the engine, so that it keeps on going even when you're not doing it, generating it, doing something. It's now, you've gotten so deep that it's actually purring, it's actually moving, it's awakening. Report an error

22:16 Can you get to that depth with a mind that's still dysfunctional? Because that's what the mind is called. I mean, this is called in Tibetan, nengele. Nengele. Or lesu mirunga. Your mind is dysfunctional or unserviceable. Lesu mirunga. Until you've achieved shamatha. Your mind doesn't really work. Report an error

22:37 I mean, it works okay. For mundane stuff, it works okay to start a Dharma practice. But it doesn't really work. It's not properly aligned. It's like an untuned engine. So yeah, can you get... Get from here to the grocery store, yeah, but your car is not really in working order. It drastically needs service. You need to get all those pistons aligned and lubricated and oiled and all that kind of business. Report an error

22:59 And so, could your mind become so radically transformed that bodhicitta rises spontaneously and effortlessly without having achieved shamatha? Where it's still prone to the dysfunctionality of laxity, dullness, the five obscurations. See, it's not just laxity. See, the development of shamatha is not just developing some nifty attention skills. The development, the actual achievement of shamatha means you've actually overcome, you've made go dormant what are called the five obscurations or the five hindrances. Report an error

23:35 So, clinging an attachment to hedonic stimulation, not just sensual pleasures, it's fame, it's wealth. The whole nine yards, all the attractions and bounties, the pleasures of the desire realm. And so this is called hedonic pleasure, stimulation. And so you're free. Not irreversibly and completely, but that craving, that attachment, that clinging to hedonic stimulation and pleasure, it's gone dormant. Report an error

24:04 Ill will, malevolence, malice, it's gone dormant. It's just not there. It's gone like hibernating. And then the Big attentional imbalance of laxity and dullness. Dormant, you might, is clear, it's naturally clear. The other intentional imbalance of excitation, which often comes together with guilt, condormant. Report an error

24:27 And then finally this vacillating, hedging, waffling uncertainty, debilitating, afflictive uncertainty, which crops up again and again and again on the spiritual path. That's condormant. Those are the five obscurations. And so when you've achieved shamatha, they're all dormant. They've just gone beddy by. They can wake up, but they're really dormant. So with the dormancy, the hibernation of those five, they've become subdued. Report an error

24:56 They've been calmed. You're abiding, having calmed those five obscurations. Well, this means you really get a very clean bill of health. With those gone and the five jnana factors having emerged that I went through earlier today, now your mind really works. Report an error

25:14 So there's the deal. And that is, if your mind is still prone to those five obscurations, which we'll see in a quote in a couple of pages ahead, in the notes here, the major outline of the three methods, the Buddha said, as long as your mind is encumbered by the five obscurations, and I'll just paraphrase now, you're enslaved, you're trapped, you're lost in a desert track, you're really not well. Report an error

25:37 So could you be, I mean, I won't try to read it now, we'll get to it tomorrow probably, or the day after. But if your mind is enslaved, trapped, lost in a desert track and so forth, can that mind that is so encumbered, so snared, trapped and so forth, can that also be bodhicitta? Report an error

25:54 It doesn't make any sense to me. I don't think so. Could you develop very deep compassion, very strong compassion, loving kindness? Could you really develop bodhicitta even while you are so encumbered? Yes, you could. But so deeply that it arises, the engine turns on and your mind is truly awakening? I doubt it. And it's only, that is classic Mahāyāna Buddhism, it's only when your bodhicitta is just now rising effortlessly. Report an error

26:22 Now your mind is awakening, now you've entered the Mahāyāna path. And then if you'd like to see it become irreversible, of course you might recall if you studied the five paths, the ten Bhumis, that just entering that initial stage, the first of three stages on the Mahāyāna path of accumulation, Achieving that is something... Oh, they say the bodhisattvas start celebrating. Hey, another one's joined the club, the bodhisattva club. It's really quite extraordinary. Report an error

26:49 You actually become a bodhisattva. As Shantideva says, now you become an object of homage of gods and men. You're a bodhisattva, something quite spectacular. So you really are a bodhisattva. But it is also conceivable you could fall back. Something so dire, something so awful, so malevolent, you might encounter something. Report an error

27:07 The Gestapo or genocide or racial cleansing, whatever, ethnic cleansing and so forth. Something so vile, so absolutely, inconceivably appalling that you might say, okay, count me out. I'm just heading off to Nirvāṇa. I'm doing reverse. I'm out of here. I'm going solo. It could happen, inconceivable. And you could backtrack and then become an un-Bodhisattva. Report an error

27:33 Used to be, no longer. Could happen. It's possible. But if you achieve that second state, That second stage on the Mayana path of accumulation, where your bodhicitta is reinforced with insight. Report an error

27:48 Then it said, now you have gold-like bodhicitta. Gold-like bodhicitta. And that is, in olden times, classical India, they could do all kinds of things with gold. They could melt it, they could shape it, and so forth. The only thing you can't do to gold is make it become un-gold. Report an error

28:11 Turned into dirt or lead or copper or brass. No way. Doesn't matter what you do to it. It's always gold. And so that's it. Once you've achieved that state, then it may take you a long time to achieve enlightenment, maybe a short time, that's up to you. But you'll never in any future lifetime will you ever be a non-Buddhisattva, an un-Buddhisattva. Report an error

28:33 You'll always be a Bodhisattva. Until you're a Buddha. So that's the rest of eternity for you. It's Bodhisattva. For as long as you're a Bodhisattva. After that there's only one end point. That's Buddha. So, that's a pretty big deal. And shamatha, once again, necessary but not sufficient. Report an error

28:57 Anything else coming up? Report an error

29:13 I have a question. You have to tell everybody your name. Oh, hi everyone, I'm Deborah. Say again? Deborah. Deborah, thank you, Deborah. I have a question about the practice that we were just doing. Good. When we're releasing the out-breath totally, So that you're letting go, letting go, letting go, letting go. Sometimes I find that as I get really into that, then there's a pause at the end and then I kind of gasp. Report an error

29:41 And I'm not sure if it's me or if it's my body gasping to take in an in-breath. I'm not sure if that means I'm letting go too much. I just missed the last part. Does that mean I'm letting go too much? No, that's impossible. You can't let go too much. But you can let go in the wrong way. If there's any point at which you're actually expelling the air, as if, I don't want you, go away, get out. Report an error

30:11 I'm turning it into a cartoon. But you're kind of pushing it out. That's too much. And if there's any point at which even a smidgen, you're inhibiting it from coming in, you're blocking it from coming in, that's too much. So this is where it gets subtle. Where you release it, like letting a dog off a leash, a little frisky puppy that you've taken out to a park where they, in some parks in America, you can't let the dog off a leash and some you can't. Report an error

30:39 But you've got a really frisky puppy. And then you get to the point where you can release the dog and you let it go and the dog just takes off. You know, it's frisky running all over the place. You don't push the dog, nor do you kind of pull the dog in. You just let it go. And so there's a real subtlety there. Report an error

30:57 You don't push out the breath. You don't do that, not even remotely. Try to expel it. You're not trying to empty it all out like you're retching, like that. You're just releasing it. Like you don't kick the dog when you take it off the leash, you just unlatch the leash. And then the dog does whatever it does, right? And so it's just releasing the breath. Report an error

31:20 And so that's the effortlessness there. But then, having released it, you don't exert one iota of effort to prevent the breath from flowing in. And if there's a gasping sensation, that probably implies there was some contraction, something kind of a shutting down, and the gasp had to come in to break the barrier that's up, that somehow, even at a very subtle level, getting in the way of the breath coming back in again. Report an error

31:48 So you open the valve. If you open the valve so the breath can flow completely out without ever being pushed, and you keep the valve open. So the breath can flow in without any impediment whatsoever. Now part of this is posture. And that is if you're in the supine position, case solved, problem solved. Report an error

32:11 Because there you are, arms out to the side, 30 degrees out, palms up. I learned this from Iyengar 31 years ago. And so palms out, nice cushion, but everything opens. So your chest is open, diaphragm is open, belly is open, soft, loose, relaxed. And so there's just nothing to do. So there it is. And then the breath just flows in. So that's easy. Supine position is a really good place to learn this. Because it's so effortless. The posture is effortless. Report an error

32:38 But if you're sitting upright, then now it is a balancing act. Because you could be sitting so upright, so kind of uptight, that that could constrict the flow of the respiration. Then that's no good. You could also be schlumping a little bit. I've seen some people kind of go like this when they kind of go deeper. Report an error

32:57 Head dropping down. And then if that happens, it's very easy for the chest to go a little bit concave, like that. So now there's some constriction here, some impediment. That's no good. So, this is why it says raise the sternum just slightly, but keep the belly jello soft. Jelly belly. Real, real soft. Whether you have, you know, a total macho bill, like some bodybuilder, that's cool, but keep your belly soft as, you know, jello. Report an error

33:27 So that's totally soft, sternum slightly raised, and then the spine erect. So now as you're breathing in and out, there's just nothing to block, even the slightest inhalation, and of course nothing to impede the exhalation. So if you're sitting up, the posture is very, very important, that you really have struck that balance, deeply relaxed, and that will avoid any constriction of the breath, but very, very, that is, very vigilant, which will also then... Report an error

34:01 Make sure that there's no impediment to the breath flowing in. So, it's fine-tuning. It's fine-tuning. And we just learn it through experience. Report an error

34:30 After some time, it's 8.30 now, at your leisure you'll go to bed, call it a day. And what I would strongly encourage is that when you've done everything you needed to do, brush your teeth, whatever your final rituals are, to bring the day to a close. And then get into bed under the covers, light is off. Report an error

34:52 So now you can say, okay, the day is finished. Everything I wanted to do today that I could do, it's done. Now it's finished. Now it's just sleep time. When you get to that point, then what I would suggest is not quite finished. And that is, go into the supine position, right there in the covers, inside the bed, pillow under your head. And then whether it's three minutes or whether it's 30 minutes, do this practice, this full body awareness, very mellow, very diffuse, and yet not losing clarity. Report an error

35:20 And exactly this practice, but in the supine position, letting awareness come down to the ground, but even in the supine position, there's a lot of ground. And that is, there's a lot of contact at the back of your head, your shoulders, your back, your buttocks, the thighs, back of the calves, all the way down to the heels. Report an error

35:39 There's a lot of contact with the bed, which means a lot of earth element, sensations of firmness and solidity. So let your awareness come and just rest there, kind of like a ground fog. Ground fog or a fog that kind of just comes and rests on the surface of a lake. Right? Just comes and rests there. Ever so gently though. Fog doesn't press anything down. Report an error

35:59 It just comes and rests. So let that awareness just come and rest and hover so to speak or rest ever so gently in that earth element and then within that groundedness then just be aware of the sensations of the in-breath, the out-breath and not focusing your awareness up in the head. Bring it down into the torso. Report an error

36:19 Very grounded. And then that releasing, that releasing with every out breath, mellow, melting, melting, melting. And then at some point, sooner or later, you're bound to feel drowsy. I know for myself I can see it within seconds of, ah, some drowsiness just arose. And when you see that, and you know that you really do need to get your sleep, then when you see that first kind of invitation of, hello, I'm drowsiness. Report an error

36:50 You know, like drowsiness. You say, oh, in that case, this is the end of the shamatha session. And then you roll over into another position, not the same one, whatever your positions on the right side, left side, whatever you like. Then you mentally, kind of metaphorically speaking, you mentally snap your fingers. Okay, the shamatha session just finished. Because now rather than trying to balance between relaxation and clarity, I'm going to release. Report an error

37:18 I'm going to release. And I'm going to allow that drowsiness to come in. And I'm going to get a good night's sleep. And then you just mellow out, get a good night's sleep. So we're not talking about lucid dreaming here yet or lucid falling asleep or lucid dreamless sleep. There's actually a place for all of that. There's a possibility of falling asleep lucidly and you fall fully asleep and you stay conscious the whole way. But we're not going to try that tonight. Report an error

37:44 Because the first thing is to get a good night's sleep. Sleeping is like eating. And that is, it's nourishment. And we really need enough. And so that's the first order. The agenda is to get a good night's sleep. And once you've gotten that, learned how to do that, then we can take other steps about bringing greater clarity to the sleeping process, lucid dreaming and all of that. Report an error

38:10 But go ahead and release into that drowsiness. But as I say, we're not doing a fusion of shamatha and falling asleep, which has been called sleepitating. Report an error

38:20 We're not sleepitating, like if you ask, well what are you, falling asleep or you're practicing shamatha? No, not that, that would be sleepitating. So we're not sleepitating. So we'll practice shamatha until that kind of invitation, almost like to a dance of sleep. Oh, would you like to dance? My name is drowsiness. My name is sleep. Well, when you want to accept the dance, you say, oh yes, I'm happy to dance with you. Then that's when your shamatha is just finished. Report an error

38:42 Because there's no longer a balancing act. Now it's release into sleep and get a good one. Get a good night's sleep. But until that drowsiness comes in, then why not have this really sweet departure from the daytime of just mellow, mellow, mellow, relaxed, clear, clear, until the clarity starts to fade. Report an error

39:02 And then, finished, thank you. But that's kind of your farewell to the day. And again, it could be three minutes. No problem. Or it's half an hour, whatever. But to end on that note, it's a very sweet way to transition from the waking state to the sleeping state. And actually, it's a really good way, a very practical way, to get a good night's sleep. Report an error

39:23 So you might try that. That's the homework for tonight, when we've sacked out. So anything more for tonight, or shall we call it a day in the beginning of the night? Report an error

39:37 Yes, sure please, by all means. I'm Report an error

39:43 Angela, and during the last meditation, there was an awareness that the... Thoughts as they were coming in were sort of dissipating out. Yeah. And when that occurred, there was mental activity, there was an actual, another set of words came in to say, oh, the words have gone out. Yes, yes. So then I was aware of that and I tamed that. And then there was, oh, there are no words. Report an error

40:17 Yeah. And then... It's like, wow, it sure is quiet in here, isn't it? And then because I practice mantra recitations, I noticed you mentioned the book as well. And then on their own, I started reciting mantras. And that was the awareness of that innate behavior or behavior. And then I stopped the mantra recitations. Is that the fact that the mantras kicked in on their own? Report an error

40:48 What causes that? There was no conscious awareness that the mantras are being recited. Right. One could say habit. Just habit. You've probably done a lot of mantra recitation in the past. When the mind gets quiet, they're called vasanas, mental imprints, habitual propensities. They start to arise. For some people it might be craving of one kind or another. Or agitation or some type of memory that continues to grab one. Report an error

41:20 You know, rumination. It could be a wide variety of things. Mantras is a more benevolent or benign, let's say. Benign is a good word. Benign type of vāsanā or habitual propensity. But in this practice, whatever comes up, you just happily release it. Just let it, get it, let it go. And what we're slipping into is the cultivation of a way of knowing that's quite primal. Report an error

41:51 Primal. Not lofty, not esoteric, not the perfection of wisdom or that or that, the other thing. It's more of a simple, a very primal, is probably the best word. It's underlying, it's more primitive than our ordinary, let's say, frontal cortex way of knowing with memory and logic and reason and conceptualization and thought formations and all of that. Report an error

42:15 That's one way of knowing that we're very, very familiar with. And that's where we feel at home, because... Normally when we're knowing something, we lock it into a conceptual framework and then we're very ready to articulate what we know. What did you discover? Oh, and then we're ready, just right out of the shoot. Report an error

42:32 Oh, this is what I discovered. This is my experience. And then it's already almost pre-packaged. It's ready to be launched into articulation. Whereas, Report an error

42:46 imagine that I've never tasted chocolate and I know that you've tasted a lot of chocolate. And I say, tell me, Angela, what is chocolate? What does chocolate taste like? Soft. It's soft. That's not a taste, that's a texture. Sweet. Report an error

43:12 You mean like sugar? So chocolate tastes like sugar. Why do people spend so much on it if it just tastes like sugar? I mean sugar's cheap. Report an error

43:23 No, but just really tell me, what does chocolate really taste like? I don't like chocolate. It doesn't matter whether you like it or you've tasted it. You must have tasted it. I'm not asking whether you like it. I'm not asking whether it's delicious or undelicious. Some people like oatmeal. Some people like poi. What's that? Report an error

43:44 What I'm getting at is you know exactly what chocolate tastes like, but you'll have a really hard time articulating it. Unless you know that I've, and they say, oh, well, you've tasted Belgian chocolate. Well, the chocolate is more, this is more like Swiss chocolate, you know. And so now we're having tasted Belgian and Swiss and New Zealand chocolate, quite outstanding, by the way, and so forth. Report an error

44:03 And then English chocolate, they are really not in the running from my perspective. Running at the end of the pack. And Russian chocolate, not much better. But what I'm saying is if I've tasted chocolate, you've tasted chocolate, then we've got a lot to talk about. Because we can say, oh yes, like this, like that. And you know that you're drawing on my memories of having eaten a wide variety of chocolate. Report an error

44:24 White chocolate, dark chocolate, bitter chocolate, milk chocolate, and so forth and so on. But if I've never tasted chocolate at all, exactly what clever combination of words will you use to convey to me the taste of chocolate? And the answer is hopeless. And yet that doesn't mean you don't know the taste of chocolate. Whether you like it or not, that's secondary. It's a way of knowing that's immediate. Report an error

44:50 It's just immediate. If I were colorblind, explain to me really what is distinctive about red. Report an error

45:00 So that's what I'm saying. That this whole mode of knowing that we're very familiar with, but it's pre-verbal and it's pre-conceptual. It's totally immediate. And we have it all the time. I mean, when I look at your skirt or that... It looks like a skirt. Is that a shawl on top of your lap? It doesn't matter. But when I see that kind of burgundy color, I know it before I label it. Report an error

45:25 I know the color before I label it. Labeling comes afterwards. But this is our tendencies and that is we know something perceptually and then immediately we come in and lock in and lock it into a conceptual grid prepared to launch into articulation. Report an error

45:45 And the mode of knowing that we're cultivating and seeking to sustain in this practice remains right there in the immediacy of perceptual, conceptually unmediated knowing. Report an error

45:58 of some profound earth-shattering truth or deepest dimension of reality, just like a sensation of breathing. we're doing that. And that will go deep. it is simple. Report an error

46:27 My name is Cassandra. I couldn't quite hear. My name is Cassandra, I'm very new to this. I have an American ear and it sometimes has a hard time with Australian accent. Your name very slowly? Cassandra. Cassandra. Now I've got it. Thank you. And I'm fairly new to this. And I wanted to ask a very mundane question about counting. About counting? Counting breaths. Aha. Report an error

46:53 We haven't gotten there yet. So let's wait. Oh. Is this to come? Yeah. No, today there will be a place for that and that will come easy does it. Step by step. But what I would encourage for today is counting as a type of discipline. It's a discipline. Clearly there's an agenda there. I'm counting because I want something to happen that otherwise might not happen. I want this mind to pipe down. So it's something of a discipline. Counting the breaths. Report an error

47:21 I will count to 10. I will count to 21. I will do something. Hut, hut, hut. You know, like soldiers marching on the parade ground. Right? One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. Hit the deck. Do 21 push-ups. It's exercise. It's not the first step. If we take that as the first step, we're going to probably go into contraction mode. And that can really be exhausting. And so this is why the entry mode here is not counting. Report an error

47:54 It's not discipline. It's just relaxing. It's letting go and letting go and letting go. And seeking to strike that balance. Of letting go without becoming dopey, diffuse, groggy. The clarity you have right now is good enough. I sense no grogginess there. It seems quite sufficiently clear. So there will be a point, there is a point in the practice of shamatha as we develop it, as we cultivate it, that we're not satisfied with the initial level of clarity. Report an error

48:28 We're really sharpening, like sharpening from a knife to a scalpel to a razor. So there is really an enhancing of clarity, acuity of attention. There is definitely a place for that, but not in phase one. Phase one, and I'm really emphasizing that, if we were all nomads, if we were all living in Tibet a hundred years ago, living out at, oh, 4,000 meters in eastern Tibet, and we spent the last 10, 15, 20, 30, 40 years watching yaks, Report an error

49:00 I wouldn't spend any time teaching relaxation at all. I'd say, hey, I've been watching yaks, what more do you need? But since that's probably not the background of anyone here, probably no nomads in the room, that's just a very profoundly different way of conditioning your nervous system. I've known Tibetans who, that's how they grew up, watching yaks. And I've been to Tibet four times. And there's still people living that very, very, very non-wristwatch style life. Report an error

49:36 They're very much in the moment. It doesn't mean they're better people. It just means that the whole nervous system is conditioned in a different way. And so we need to be moving more in that direction as our base of just mellow, relaxed, at ease. So the counting, the enhancing of stability, the enhancing of vividness, well we need that whether you're a nomad or whether you're living in downtown Sydney. Report an error

50:00 We all need that. But we need to do a bit of remedial work and that means hold off of the counting a bit and just go nomadic, go nomadic and just totally relaxed. Releasing into the present, mellow. Yeah, there it is. There's that awful word, I'll try. It's like trying to fall asleep. It's just releasing. And so actually, one of the wonderful teachers I trained under for some months, this in Sri Lanka, this Ananda, Balankota Ananamaitreya, I told him that same word. Report an error

50:37 And he told me he was giving me instructions on mindfulness of breathing. And I said, I was only 31 at the time. Quite young, virile, at least I thought so. And he gave me the instructions and I told him, OK, I'll try. He said, no, no, don't try. Just do it. Report an error

51:00 Thank you, Cassandra. Any other questions or comments? Yeah, go ahead. My name is Jenny. Jean? Jenny. Jane. Jennifer. Jennifer. Yes, thank you. I was here last year, so I've tried to do a bit and not enough. Meditation in that time. When you're talking about the relaxation, sometimes it almost feels like bits of your brain are tight, you know, like deep in bits. Report an error

51:30 And is that getting too OCD? Are you sort of wanting us to maintain attention more away from the body or in muscle groups? Is actual brain bits just getting too tiny? Report an error

51:49 Yeah, I mean, if I were a neuroscientist, I'd say tight brain. That just doesn't mean, that doesn't mean anything. Tight brain. You know, which part has gotten tight? The synapses, the dendrites, the glial cells, the neurons and so forth. But I know exactly what you mean. That's just why I'm being just a little bit careful because, you know, neuroscientists know a lot about the brain and I'm not a neuroscientist. Report an error

52:10 But the feel of the head, right? Can that feel tight? Absolutely, yes. Whatever is happening in neurons, ask a neuroscientist about that. And so, especially in this phase, we're going to be doing three phases, engaging in three phases of mindfulness of breathing. And the first one, well, there was an intro to it this evening. And that is that whole sense, number one, diffuse awareness, not tightly focused. Diffuse, just present, but not just flaying out, not just kind of evaporating into some nebulous ooze. Report an error

52:44 No, it has a container. It's like a gas filling a room. Or a fragrance filling a space. And that is your awareness fills a space but it doesn't seep out. It kind of drool off into the auditory and the visual and so forth and so on. It's not that diffuse. It's diffuse in the sense that it's filling a space of the body but it's contained there. Right? Contained there but not tightly focused within that. Report an error

53:07 And so in this initial phase then it's maintaining that presence of awareness in the present moment. Releasing thoughts that they come up. Without again getting vague, dull, without losing the flow of knowing. In other words, as the breath flows in and it's a long in-breath, you know it. It's a very simple knowing. It's a rather primal knowing, long or short. It doesn't need much verbiage over that. But it's maintaining that. And then, as we develop into the practice, then there will be further balancing acts that come up. Report an error

53:38 But in this initial phase, and that's all I want to talk about tonight, the awareness is definitely not coagulated up in the head. Report an error

53:48 And a lot of us, especially us moderns, where we've been now jackhammered with the notion, your mind is your brain, your mind is your brain, you are your brain, your mind is your brain, the brain is doing everything. The brain feels this, remembers that, thinks this, dreams this, perceives that. I mean, look at the popular media and the brain is doing everything. Report an error

54:08 Well, just because they say so. No one ever has demonstrated the equivalent of the mind and the brain. It's just kind of groupthink, frankly. But we have gotten to this point where now people who know nothing about brain science, I find this, I listen carefully to how people use words. And a lot of people now, who have no scientific background whatsoever, are using the words mind and brain interchangeably. Report an error

54:32 And more often now using brain because that's what people in the media say, as if they know what they're talking about. Especially because this is very recent. This was not true when I was a kid. In 1950s, 1960s, people weren't using the word mind and brain interchangeably. Quite recent. It's delusional. It's quite recent. And so especially with this, this kind of, this insistence, this linguistic insistence, mind is brain, mind is brain, then it does tend all the more to get us locked into head. Report an error

55:05 And the notion that my mind is my brain, which means my mind is inside my head, which is a crazy idea, for which there's no empirical evidence whatsoever. But there it is. People just start saying it a lot. And like a lot of sheep bleating in unison, then, oh, well, all the other sheep are saying it. I guess it must be true. And then we also, you know, bleating in harmony. Report an error

55:26 But that notion that, you know, somehow the mind is inside the head, number one, there's no empirical evidence for it. There's all kinds of reasons for concluding that's not true. But it keeps on coming in by way of media, the way people talk and so forth. So, in this practice, we're not trying to solve an ontological issue. Report an error

55:44 Does the mind have location in physical space? We're not trying to solve deep mind-body or mind-brain issues. What is the relationship between mind and brain? That's not what we're trying to solve now. But what we are doing is overcoming a certain tendency that's in some ways quite modern of locking us into the space above our necks and to come down into the body. Report an error

56:06 So that's why every time I'm starting a session, I say, okay, now descend into the body. Well, descend from where? Well, probably if you're located up here or maybe even up here, you know. And so if you think you're here, get into the elevator and hit ground floor. Hit G and come down, down, descend into. So in this phase, whether we're practicing it like this evening or you get into bed, you're doing your final homework for the day, get your awareness out of the head. Report an error

56:38 Bring it under the torso. You're lying in bed. Bring it down to the hips, down to the thighs, to the calves, to the feet. Get it down, bring it out, down, down. Very healthy. Report an error

56:53 If you ever suffer from insomnia, where you seem to be totally caught up in your mind, and your mind's totally caught up in the head, just literally bring your awareness out of the head. Bring it into your chest, your belly, your hips and so forth. Bringing it down, attending to the tactile sensations. Down, all the way down to the soles of the feet. Report an error

57:13 That'll really help. It literally gets the prāṇa, this coagulation, this condensation of prāṇa, which very easy gets compacted into the head, gets it out of the head, brings it down where it belongs, more evenly distributed, and down into the torso and the legs and so forth. It's very healthy. Phase one. Report an error

57:40 Okay. Well, let's call it an evening then. It's almost nine o 'clock, so that's pretty good. And I'll see you in about twelve hours. We'll come back here. Report an error

57:52 That's it. So have a good night's sleep. Very important. See you in the morning. Report an error

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Talk by B. Alan Wallace. Original at Vajrayana Institute via Internet Archive: https://archive.org/details/ShamathaRetreatWithAlanWallace2012. Licensed CC BY-NC-ND 3.0. Transcript generated automatically and may contain errors; the audio is the authoritative version.

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