When A Buddha Breaks

0:00 This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Report an error in the passage at 0:00 Highlight the passage at 0:00

0:17 Good morning, everyone. Good morning, good friends in the Dharma. What a joy to be back here at Green Gulch once again after not having been here for a little while. Because I was away for a bit. So for anyone who may not know me, I'm still trying to figure that out. Who am I? But in the meantime, I usually go by Tenzen David Zimmerman. And I currently serve as both the central abbot of San Francisco Zen Center, as well as the abiding abbot at City Center, or Beginner's Mind Temple in San Francisco proper. Report an error in the passage at 0:17 Highlight the passage at 0:17

1:00 And I want to thank Eli the Tanto for the invitation to speak today. As you see, we're going to have some show and tell. And I want to thank particularly the Ino Reika and Nathan and anyone else who helped make it possible to show these slides. Can we go to the very beginning? Report an error in the passage at 1:00 Highlight the passage at 1:00

1:27 There's a couple more before that. Yeah, let's stop. Let's see if we can keep it there. We'll go from there. I just returned from two weeks of teaching at Tassajara last weekend. I was leading a Saṅgha week and a Zen and Yoga retreat. Some of the people who were here for the Zen Yoga are here now. What a treat to see you again. And for those who don't know, Tassajara is the Ventana Wilderness. Report an error in the passage at 1:27 Highlight the passage at 1:27

1:56 It's about nine miles as the crow flies east of Big Sur. How many people have been to Tassajara before? Great. Quite a few of you. Wonderful. So if you haven't been, I hope you have the opportunity. It's a very special place, a very beautiful place. And my recent visit was rather poignant for me because it was the first time that I had been back since the Zender fire that happened earlier this year. Report an error in the passage at 1:56 Highlight the passage at 1:56

2:26 And I had been there for three months leading the winter practice period of Ongo. And we were in the last week. of the Ongo, finishing up a eight-day Sashin. And the fire broke out around midnight the second to last day. I'm not sure how many people have heard about that. I'll say a little bit more. But as you can imagine, it's quite an experience to be woken up in the middle of the night and find yourself suddenly fighting to save your spiritual homestead. Report an error in the passage at 2:26 Highlight the passage at 2:26

3:05 Again, I still see vividly in my mind's eye the zendo being consumed by 20 to 30 foot flames and the concerted effort of the students who were doing their best to try to put the fire out. Some of them were still in their pajamas as they were doing it. And I can still taste the feeling of helplessness when I realized about 15 minutes in that it was basically a lost cause. Report an error in the passage at 3:05 Highlight the passage at 3:05

3:35 The fire had gotten into the attic and we couldn't reach it and it was spreading through the attic and burning down. So it's truly heartbreaking to witness something that you love and cherish turn to ash and ruin right in front of you. And then to learn later that the apparent cause of the fire was arson only serves to make the destruction all the more grievous. Report an error in the passage at 3:35 Highlight the passage at 3:35

4:03 So nevertheless, I am very grateful that no one died or was seriously injured and that we were able to successfully actually keep the fire from spreading further throughout Tulsa Horror. The Zendo burned, of course, and a little bit of the library burned as well, which I'll say more about. And the practice period students who were there at the time showed tremendous courage and resilience in the face of uncertainty and devastating calamity. Report an error in the passage at 4:03 Highlight the passage at 4:03

4:33 And some of them are here today. And I just really want to acknowledge and honor their effort and everything they did to be able to practice with the fire itself, to keep the community safe, to keep themselves safe, and to continue the practice for days and months since the fire has happened. Report an error in the passage at 4:33 Highlight the passage at 4:33

4:57 So I'd like to dive deeper by sharing with you a poem by Mary Oliver. Often a frequently quoted poet. And the title of the poem is In Blackwater Woods. And these two stanzas have kept me company in the last several months since the fire. Report an error in the passage at 4:57 Highlight the passage at 4:57

5:25 Every year, everything I have ever learned in my lifetime leads back to this. The fires and the black river of a loss whose other side is salvation, whose meaning none of us will ever know. To love what is mortal, to hold it against your bones, knowing your own life depends on it. And when the time comes to let it go, to let it go. I'll read it again. Report an error in the passage at 5:25 Highlight the passage at 5:25

6:11 Every year, everything I have ever learned in my lifetime, leads back to this. The fire is in the black river of loss, whose other side is salvation, whose meaning none of us will ever know. Report an error in the passage at 6:11 Highlight the passage at 6:11

6:28 To live in this world, you must be able to do three things. To love what is mortal, to hold it against your bones, knowing your own life depends on it. And when the time comes to let it go, Report an error in the passage at 6:28 Highlight the passage at 6:28

6:47 So even Report an error in the passage at 6:47 Highlight the passage at 6:47

6:53 though it was just a building, many of us who had practiced in the Tassajara Zendo, in some cases for decades, mourn the loss of that sacred hall. On my recent visit, the absence at the heart of Tassajara felt like a punch in the gut every time I passed by the empty site where the Zendo had stood. Report an error in the passage at 6:53 Highlight the passage at 6:53

7:21 At the same time, Its loss airs as yet another insistent dharma lesson in the nature of impermanence. You know, this is in fact the second time that Tassajara lost the zendo to fire. Almost 48 years to the date, in April of 1978, the original zendo, which those who have been to Tassajara was located in what is now the student eating area. Report an error in the passage at 7:21 Highlight the passage at 7:21

7:50 caught fire during a dharma inquiry ceremony. And everyone made it out safely, but just barely. And they didn't have time to save anything in the zendo. Story has it that some of their eyebrows got singed as they made their way out. Miraculously, a new zendo was erected within three weeks. Report an error in the passage at 7:50 Highlight the passage at 7:50

8:13 And this was positioned in the upper garden. At the time, they had vegetable gardens where the zendo was. Located the new one. And this happened during the spring work period and it was considered to be a temporary zendo. The idea is they were going to rebuild the zendo back to its original site where the student eating area is. Report an error in the passage at 8:13 Highlight the passage at 8:13

8:37 But that never happened because people realized that the new zendo actually was in a better location and worked better for everyone. So, you know, we call it temporary but isn't. Everything impermanent and hence temporary. We could say this one is temporary, this temporary being. Report an error in the passage at 8:37 Highlight the passage at 8:37

9:00 So while I'm heartbroken by the destruction of the Zendo and the loss of a number of ritual objects and instructions, I feel particularly pained about the damage to the main altarpiece, which was a approximately 1,800-year-old Gandharam stone Buddha sitting in meditation. Report an error in the passage at 9:00 Highlight the passage at 9:00

9:22 Another student and I had actually gone into the Zendo and were able to retrieve the Buddha as sitting on a chair kind of like that, what's up there, and the altar and other items. And we had briefly staged them in front of the library, which is about 20, 25 feet away, with the idea that once we got everything out, we could go and move everything further away from the Zendo. Report an error in the passage at 9:22 Highlight the passage at 9:22

9:52 Unfortunately, that did not happen. We didn't have enough time to retrieve things because the fire spread quickly to the library in the exact spot where the Buddha was resting. And the other items were waiting for retrieval. It was as if the fire was actually seeking out the Buddha. So we save the Buddha only to lose the Buddha. Report an error in the passage at 9:52 Highlight the passage at 9:52

10:22 So in Nietzsche, the Pāli word, is the Buddhist doctrine of impermanence, the fundamental truth that all conditioned things, material, mental, and experiential, are in a constant state of flux and arising and biting for a period of time and passing away. Report an error in the passage at 10:22 Highlight the passage at 10:22

10:45 And anicca is the first of the three marks of existence, along with dukkha, suffering, disease, dissatisfaction, As it's sometimes translated in the Natha, non-self. So the fire of impermanence runs through all things and burns throughout our lives. We are born, live, and die by the grace of impermanence. You know, it's tiring sometimes to consider just how tremendous is our capacity to ignore or deny the truth that nothing lasts. Report an error in the passage at 10:45 Highlight the passage at 10:45

11:26 At least until it literally burns the house down. And even then, we quickly go back to entertaining the idea that that was somehow a fluke. And it's unlikely to happen again. At least not to the things that we don't want to change or lose. Report an error in the passage at 11:26 Highlight the passage at 11:26

11:47 And as you all know, being human is hard. Or at least it is for me. I don't know about the rest of you. And the same thing that makes it great makes it also hard. Report an error in the passage at 11:47 Highlight the passage at 11:47

12:00 Like love and loss. There's a line from a Louise Gluck poem, the poem is titled From the Japanese, that asks, Why love what you will lose? Why love what you will lose? And then the next line deepens the question into a koan of sorts. What else is there to love? What else is there to love? So, loss. Loss is an unavoidable part of being human and of living and as such should be fully felt rather than avoided. Report an error in the passage at 12:00 Highlight the passage at 12:00

12:43 Fully feel and embrace the highs of love and the lows of At the same time, we must also be willing to let go of all conditioned phenomena. Report an error in the passage at 12:43 Highlight the passage at 12:43

12:59 Buddhism teaches that suffering arises from clinging, from grasping at any experience. So our liberation is commensurate with ability to release and let go of every object, every being, every experience, no matter how beautiful and precious it is to us. Report an error in the passage at 12:59 Highlight the passage at 12:59

13:32 As Mary Oliver reminds us in the poem that I read earlier, the only true salvation in the face of impermanence To live in this world, you must be able to do three things, Oliver writes. To love what is mortal, to hold it against your bones, knowing your own life depends on it, and when the time comes to let it go, to let it go. Report an error in the passage at 13:32 Highlight the passage at 13:32

14:10 So it requires courage and... Actually audacity to love in the face of certain loss. Whether it's another human being that we love, maybe a pet, a special object, a place, even this planet. We need to be ready to mourn it amidst impermanence and relentless change. If anything, our grief is the final confirmation of the great depth of our love. Report an error in the passage at 14:10 Highlight the passage at 14:10

14:44 This knowing how to love and let go, knowing how to lose, is essential to cultivating resilience in face of the constant winds of impermanence. Report an error in the passage at 14:44 Highlight the passage at 14:44

14:58 Can we learn to embrace impermanence with the presence of mind, with patience and compassion? I have found that through experience that Zen can help us move through loss and grief. Report an error in the passage at 14:58 Highlight the passage at 14:58

15:15 Accepting them as a transformative process that reveals the interconnectedness, the intimacy of all things. Report an error in the passage at 15:15 Highlight the passage at 15:15

15:28 So I had mentioned earlier, I was particularly pained by the loss of the 1,800-year-old Gandharan Buddha statue. And so I want to show you these slides on the, what side is that, the far right? Report an error in the passage at 15:28 Highlight the passage at 15:28

15:45 My dyslexia is kicking in. Over that side. This is the original statue as it was in the old Zendo. And then that Zendo burned and they took a photo of the Buddha in the ashes of the 1978 fire. It apparently had fallen backwards during the fire and shattered. And then the next photo, the next slide. So it was painstakingly restored. Report an error in the passage at 15:45 Highlight the passage at 15:45

16:18 by someone from the Duyung Asian Art Museum. They were together at the time. It took them two years to restore the Buddha. And this is what you see here. They restored Buddha. It was almost impossible to tell that anything had happened to it, that it had been shattered or they had done any work. Some people say the jaw was... There's something about the jaw, the chin, that was just a little off. Report an error in the passage at 16:18 Highlight the passage at 16:18

16:43 But otherwise, I looked many times to try to find the lines. Where did it piece it back together? And so that's the image on the recent Zendo altar and on the throne with Manjushri there. And then the next image, the Zendo on fire. So the height of the Zendo burning, this is taken from the courtyard. Report an error in the passage at 16:43 Highlight the passage at 16:43

17:11 That image here on this side and the top is where the fire was started. There was a cushion rack outside the zendo, and somehow the person who did it started that area on fire and went quickly up into the attic. And then basically the ruins, the remainder of the ruins, it took the firefighters, the local volunteers, about 45, 50 minutes to make it to Tassahara. Report an error in the passage at 17:11 Highlight the passage at 17:11

17:40 By then, the zendo was gone, and we were kind of just trying to keep things from spreading. And then the next slide, the ruins of the zendo. So you'll see on that side just the burnt parts. Over here, there was a densho bell. You've heard the bansho bell out here calling. So we have something similar that was hanging on the engawa at Tassahara, and the bell fell, and... Report an error in the passage at 17:40 Highlight the passage at 17:40

18:09 And miraculously, it still plays. It burned, but it still plays. And then someone's zagu, their bowing mat, one of the priests, had her items stored next to the cushion rack. And people were throwing some of the rakusus and okesas away from the zendo as it was burning. And we found several of them later. Report an error in the passage at 18:09 Highlight the passage at 18:09

18:35 And this was one half burnt. And the next photo. So this one is of the same Buddha amidst the ashes of the recent fire. And I feel particularly poignant. The image of the stone stash is shattered and crumpled in the ashes here. And as you can see, its head is detached from the body. So it fell forward and its head is detached, laying over there. But its face, if you show the next photo. Report an error in the passage at 18:35 Highlight the passage at 18:35

19:10 Its face in the ashes was serenely kind of looking upward, still radiating equanimity despite destruction around it and its own shattered body. Report an error in the passage at 19:10 Highlight the passage at 19:10

19:23 And then this slide, we had a memorial for the Zendo a few days afterwards on the front lawn. And we included the head of the Gandharan Buddha to join us. So, um... Report an error in the passage at 19:23 Highlight the passage at 19:23

19:41 I'm currently exploring with the Asian Art Museum whether it might be possible to restore the Buddha again. At this moment, it's laying in my office, spread out in pieces. It's a little bit like a jigsaw puzzle. We're trying to figure out what pieces do we have and whether or not we have enough to reconstruct it and what state it might be in. Report an error in the passage at 19:41 Highlight the passage at 19:41

20:01 So it may take a little while to discern. So the Shattered Buddha statue evokes for me the story of Avalokiteshvara. Avalokiteshvara is the Mahāyāna Buddhist bodhisattva who embodies infinite compassion and vows to postpone Buddhahood until all beings have been liberated from suffering. Report an error in the passage at 20:01 Highlight the passage at 20:01

20:29 So according to the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, Avalokiteshvara also vowed that should he ever become disheartened in saving sentient beings, may his body shatter into a thousand pieces. Report an error in the passage at 20:29 Highlight the passage at 20:29

20:43 Sometimes the suffering of the world is too much. It's too much to bear. And not seeing significant change, we ourselves might lose hope. Report an error in the passage at 20:43 Highlight the passage at 20:43

20:55 Our bodhisattva vow to save the world might begin to waver. This is what happened to Avalokiteshvara. Legend tells us that upon seeing the immensity of the world's misery, he momentarily lost faith. And as a result, his body shattered in despair. Report an error in the passage at 20:55 Highlight the passage at 20:55

21:20 However, Avalokiteshvara's agony and shattering was witnessed by his teacher, Amitabha Buddha, who lovingly reconstructs him, piecing him together anew, although now with 11 heads, so that he can better observe the suffering of beings in all directions. Can you show the next slide, please? Report an error in the passage at 21:20 Highlight the passage at 21:20

21:47 There you see 11 heads. Looking out in all directions to witness all beings. And Abhidhabha also gave Avalokiteshvara a thousand hands. And on each hand there was an eye that was embedded. As well as a particular tool or utensil. And so these thousand hands and eyes and tools represent Avalokiteshvara's enhanced practice. Report an error in the passage at 21:47 Highlight the passage at 21:47

22:12 His enhanced capacity to compassionately assist all beings through skillful means. Upāya. Whatever it means would be effective. Now it's interesting to note that when Buddhism entered China from India, Avalokiteshvara underwent a gender transformation, evolving into the female form of Kuan Yin, likely because the Bodhisattva's qualities of compassion and mercy are considered feminine in East Asian culture. Report an error in the passage at 22:12 Highlight the passage at 22:12

22:45 So we had a wooden statue of Kuan Yin on the Tassajara altar, which also went through the fire. You show the next slide. But it miraculously survived. It had also been stored next to the zendo near the stone Buddha. And as you can see, one half of her body burned, but her other half remains untouched. So this picture I took in front of the ruins of the old zendo. Report an error in the passage at 22:45 Highlight the passage at 22:45

23:17 And to my mind, it illustrates how an embodiment of compassion... Kuan Yin directly experiences the world's suffering, but without succumbing to it. She feels the pain. She goes into the fire with suffering beings, and yet some part of her remains undestroyed, untouched. Report an error in the passage at 23:17 Highlight the passage at 23:17

23:41 This statue is now on the new altar in the new temporary zendo, which is the retreat hall at Tassahara now, the larger one. So we go back and forth. It's zendo in the morning, sometimes a yoga space in the midday, and then it turns back into a zendo in the evening. So she's there reminding us of our vow to be with all beings in their suffering. Report an error in the passage at 23:41 Highlight the passage at 23:41

24:07 So I find Avalokiteshvara's story an inspiring allegory for facing life's greatest challenges, including facing loss, despair, or whatever fires we may encounter, Report an error in the passage at 24:07 Highlight the passage at 24:07

24:21 Figurative or literal, and which may break or shatter our hearts, our minds, our bodies. It reminds me that brokenness, when faced rather than turned away from, can become a source of healing and compassion and actually a way forward. Report an error in the passage at 24:21 Highlight the passage at 24:21

24:45 So the story of Avogadosh Far invites us to consider what we do when we ourselves break. When our tender human hearts and minds are shattered by some significant tragedy, a great cruelty, violence or injustice, or by simply witnessing the immensity of suffering and despair in the world, I confess that I feel right now a lot of heartbreak and powerlessness at times whenever I hear about the harms and the injustices that are being experienced by so many innocent people. Report an error in the passage at 24:45 Highlight the passage at 24:45

25:25 and people who have done nothing wrong. Or, I hear about the crimes that are being committed by various social and political leaders, some with seemingly little conscience or regret. Report an error in the passage at 25:25 Highlight the passage at 25:25

25:39 Each of us can likely recall moments or circumstances in our lives when we felt broken or shattered. Whether due to a significant loss or to something that threatened or violated our sense of personal safety. Integrity or even sanity. Maybe there have been moments when your own sense of self or identity cracked or splintered, leaving you uncertain about who you truly are, what it is that gives you meaning, and what guides your choices in life. Report an error in the passage at 25:39 Highlight the passage at 25:39

26:22 I expect that many of you have encountered such moments or perhaps have encountered others. who have in the past or are currently experiencing a traumatic break in some form. As I mentioned earlier, the Monterey County Sheriff's Office has thus determined so far that the cause of the Zenda fire was arson. Report an error in the passage at 26:22 Highlight the passage at 26:22

26:46 And it was committed apparently by a woman who was known to Tassajara, just a little bit, and some other Buddhist communities, but was not a resident or a Saṅgha member. Report an error in the passage at 26:46 Highlight the passage at 26:46

26:57 So I won't go into further details about this alleged arson. Arsonist, other than to say that some have questioned her state of mind, I think it's a fair question to ask. What state of mind must one have to commit such an act of violence and destruction? Surely not a grounded, clear seeing, or peaceful one. Report an error in the passage at 26:57 Highlight the passage at 26:57

27:22 Perhaps the alleged arsonist burned down a place of peace because she couldn't find peace or belonging within. But isn't that the root of all acts of harm? Report an error in the passage at 27:22 Highlight the passage at 27:22

27:39 The police have called the arson a targeted hate crime. Although to my way of thinking, it was more an act of delusion. Could we say that any act of hate is an act of delusion? Because hate requires that we see ourselves and others as somehow separate. Report an error in the passage at 27:39 Highlight the passage at 27:39

28:02 In fact, Buddhism teaches that we all live, to varying degrees, in a state of delusion. And most of the time, largely because of our perceptions of reality, are inevitably distorted, not only by the three poisons of greed, hate, and delusion, but also by our egos, our karmic conditioning, and the tenacious belief that we exist as separate entities. Report an error in the passage at 28:02 Highlight the passage at 28:02

28:35 While it's not an easy teaching to accept at a certain level, Zen practice is meant to undermine our illusions and our false sense of security, which often keep us from recognizing the world as it is and the myriad causes and conditions that have made it so. Report an error in the passage at 28:35 Highlight the passage at 28:35

28:57 Practice also serves to deconstruct or even shatter our identities, our egos, as well as our belief in or sense of being a separate self. Report an error in the passage at 28:57 Highlight the passage at 28:57

29:12 In other words, Zen advocates allowing yourself to break, allowing your ego to shatter. And in that shattering, realizing you were never separate from others or the world in the first place. This is the teaching of anattā, of non-self, or rather, there is no separate self. Rather, we are profoundly connected Report an error in the passage at 29:12 Highlight the passage at 29:12

29:48 When your heart breaks, my heart breaks. When you suffer, I suffer. Recognizing our deep interconnectedness is itself the very source of compassion. So Avalokitesvara's heartbreak is not a weakness, nor is it a punishment. Rather, it originates from his resolve. We can see it as a testament to his love. Report an error in the passage at 29:48 Highlight the passage at 29:48

30:25 Avalokiteshvara's heart and body break because he loves. And this is the way it is for all bodhisattvas. They deeply love all sentient beings, even those who may try to harm them and truly want them to be free of suffering. Report an error in the passage at 30:25 Highlight the passage at 30:25

30:53 Shara doesn't turn away from the pain he feels at witnessing suffering or loss, or from hatred and delusion. Instead, he allows himself to experience the ache and grief surrounding his heartbreak and loss. Unashamed, his heart cries out for relief. We, too, need not repress our hurt, nor pretend it doesn't matter. Report an error in the passage at 30:53 Highlight the passage at 30:53

31:21 Even bodhisattvas grieve. And it took me about a week after the fire. We were in the midst of a closing ceremony and I was offering a closing statement when finally the tears came. Report an error in the passage at 31:21 Highlight the passage at 31:21

31:57 In that moment, I could feel it at a deep level, even now. Report an error in the passage at 31:57 Highlight the passage at 31:57

32:06 All this is part and parcel to a process of true healing. And then, eventually, when their time has come and they have gathered themselves, bodhisattvas rise again to continue their sacred work of saving all beings. In this way, they become resilient. More able to meet whatever challenging circumstances they encounter with a measure of equanimity, wisdom, and even faith. Report an error in the passage at 32:06 Highlight the passage at 32:06

32:38 Faith that all will be fundamentally okay. Report an error in the passage at 32:38 Highlight the passage at 32:38

32:49 There is a Zen koan that is offered in the recorded sayings of Zen Master Joshu, as well as in the Blue Cliff Record, that has Master Joshu entering the Dharma Hall and instructing the assembly of monks, saying, metal Buddhas can't pass through a furnace. Wood Buddhas can't pass through fire. Mud Buddhas can't pass through water. Report an error in the passage at 32:49 Highlight the passage at 32:49

33:16 The true Buddha sits within you. And we might add that stone Buddhas also can't pass through fire, at least not without some damage. So there is the relative conditional form of a Buddha. That is impermanent. That can break. can be shattered and pass away. And at the same time, there is the ultimate, unconditioned form of the Buddha, what's known as the eternal Buddha, the indestructible Buddha, the true Buddha. Report an error in the passage at 33:16 Highlight the passage at 33:16

33:56 What is the Buddha that doesn't break? Who is this Buddha who can't be shattered regardless of the circumstances they find themselves in? What is an indestructible Buddha? Or bodhisattva. And what is the true Buddha that sits within you? We can find one answer to this question in Vimalakirti's sūtra where Buddha himself delivers what is known as the sermon on the destructible and the indestructible. Report an error in the passage at 33:56 Highlight the passage at 33:56

34:30 So in the text there are a number of bodhisattvas and they meet with the Buddha and they admit to the Buddha having negative thoughts and views about this Saha world. Meaning this world, our world of human suffering. But upon seeing how other Buddhas employ wisdom and compassion and skillful means, regardless of the world they find themselves in, these disparaging Buddhas soon realize that they perhaps have been hasty in their judgment. Report an error in the passage at 34:30 Highlight the passage at 34:30

35:04 So then the Buddha explains to them how Bodhisattvas can live fully in the worlds of suffering and death. without suffering themselves. I want to share with you a few passages from this sermon. The Buddha said, There is a teaching, a liberation, to be learned by the bodhisattvas called the liberation from the destructible and the indestructible. Report an error in the passage at 35:04 Highlight the passage at 35:04

35:30 This teaching refers to compounded things, that is, to all phenomena of the physical and mental realms as they come to be and cease to be unendingly. So in other words, this is condition dependently arisen phenomena. Hence, they are called destructible. The bodhisattva does not give rise to aversion to this world. In addition, there is the indestructible, which is unborn, uncreated, and unproduced. Report an error in the passage at 35:30 Highlight the passage at 35:30

36:02 In other words, unconditioned. The bodhisattva does not seek to abide in this realm either. How do we acquire liberation? Report an error in the passage at 36:02 Highlight the passage at 36:02

36:14 He inquired one of the Bodhisattvas, meaning how to require liberation from both the destructible and the indestructible. And as the Bodhisattva was asking his question, apparently his body was changing cue a few times as he was mirroring his wonderment and zeal to be in front of the Buddha. So the Buddha replies, offering first a number of approaches to acquiring liberation from the destructible, from the conditioned phenomenon. Report an error in the passage at 36:14 Highlight the passage at 36:14

36:44 He says, by not losing love and compassion for compounded things, by recalling often the great vow to Buddhahood, by never tiring of helping all beings, by attaining samādhi, that is the mind of oneness or non-duality, by never being satisfied with one's attainments but pushing further in development, by avoiding laziness, by seeing and honoring the Buddhas of the Ten Directions. Report an error in the passage at 36:44 Highlight the passage at 36:44

37:16 By all the 10,000 practices of the Mahāyāna, this is how we do not shun the compounded things, thus attaining one part of liberation from the distractions. So that's quite a powerful list of practices for living in the relative world, starting with cultivating love and compassion for all beings, including those we will lose. Report an error in the passage at 37:16 Highlight the passage at 37:16

37:45 And even those who might wish to harm us. The Buddha encourages us to remember our Bodhisattva vows to save all beings, leave no one out. He also counsels us not to let ourselves become lazy or discouraged, but to be untiring in our efforts to maintain mindfulness and to awaken as Buddhas, as well to embrace the impermanence of all conditioned beings and phenomena. Report an error in the passage at 37:45 Highlight the passage at 37:45

38:17 So these are the practices for acquiring liberation from the conditioned, compounded existence, which can be destroyed. Then the Bodhisattva asked the Buddha, what is the other parts? In other words, what are the practices for being liberated from the indestructible, from emptiness itself? And the Buddha replied, why, it is not to rest in the indestructible. Report an error in the passage at 38:17 Highlight the passage at 38:17

38:47 But to attain the middle way between living in the presence of emptiness without fully entering it. It is to carry within the spirit of solitude but not to abandon the marketplace and live on a mountain peak. Report an error in the passage at 38:47 Highlight the passage at 38:47

39:04 It is to live without desire to attain but not to give up on all sentient beings. It is to cultivate the heart that doesn't settle anywhere but to be constant in walking the path of the bodhisattva. Thus the bodhisattva attains this marvelous liberation. So the Buddha is encouraging us to live what we might call the middle way, which fully entails seeing the empty, impermanent nature of all phenomena, but without succumbing to it. Report an error in the passage at 39:04 Highlight the passage at 39:04

39:38 So he's asking us, inviting us to live a solitary, a life of solitary integrity. But without separating ourselves from others. In other words, don't go off to a cave somewhere by yourself. Zen really emphasizes practicing with others. And also not to give up on people, but to cultivate a boundless heart. Always doing our best to live in harmony and accord with the Bodhisattva way. Report an error in the passage at 39:38 Highlight the passage at 39:38

40:06 So this section, this particular writing, concludes by noting that upon receiving this teaching from the Buddha, The Bodhisattvas were beside themselves with joy. And suddenly they just spontaneously arose into the heavens and their joy perfumed the entire universe. They were so elated by this particular teaching. So the indestructible Buddha is our true self, our true nature. Report an error in the passage at 40:06 Highlight the passage at 40:06

40:37 The destructible Buddha is also an aspect of the self. So we need to learn to live with the presence and ease in both of these expressions of our Buddha nature, the relative conditional and the ultimate unconditioned aspects, which includes both the reality of impermanence and the reality of that which is beyond impermanence. Report an error in the passage at 40:37 Highlight the passage at 40:37

41:05 I appreciate that the Buddha reminds us not to give up or lose love or compassion for the compounded things. Love is the knowing of our shared being. Love is the knowing of our shared being. So we are Buddha, both whole and shattered. We are also the arsonist, deluded, feeling separate. not at peace. We are the monks fighting fire, and we are the fire itself. In the midst of it all, our shared being, our Buddha nature, is ever-present, sitting upright in the midst of the flames of impermanence, unmoving but not unmoved. Report an error in the passage at 41:05 Highlight the passage at 41:05

42:08 The scope of the Bodhisattva's vow to save all beings and never lose hope Even in the face of impermanence and loss is immense. When a bodhisattva looks out upon the world of saṃsāra, they realize that there will never be an end to saṃsāra, to suffering. It will never be empty. This is a quote from Shantideva. And yet, renewed and cleared-eyed about that fact, about that reality, they make a vow, for as long as space remains, For as long as sentient beings remain, may I too remain to dispel the suffering of the world. Report an error in the passage at 42:08 Highlight the passage at 42:08

42:58 I don't know whether we'll be able to restore the Gandharam Buddha a second time, which was once shattered in fire and restored, again shattered. Report an error in the passage at 42:58 Highlight the passage at 42:58

43:11 Maybe it's time to let it go, to let it go the way of all conditioned things. All the same, I am still deeply committed. To continuing to meet the world's conflagrations as best I can for the sake and love of all sentient beings. Report an error in the passage at 43:11 Highlight the passage at 43:11

43:33 Over my 35 years of Zen practice, I found that it's the depth of the vow that counts and which keeps one going, not whether we are successful in saving each and every Buddha. Just make your best effort and let the great mystery unfold from there. Report an error in the passage at 43:33 Highlight the passage at 43:33

43:55 Well, thank you very much for your kind attention, patience, and presence. And now I understand the form here is that we have time for questions. And I don't know if there's a clock around here. Maybe someone can give me a time. Oh, so we have about 10 minutes or so. So there's a microphone. So if you have a question or if you want to share something yourself, I don't have any answers. Sorry, I'm just going to tell you that in advance. Report an error in the passage at 43:55 Highlight the passage at 43:55

44:26 So share what you would like to share, express whatever, and if you have a question, I'll respond. Good morning. Good morning, and thank you for that wonderful talk. Report an error in the passage at 44:26 Highlight the passage at 44:26

44:39 You mentioned that we ultimately have to let go of our relationships and loved ones and so forth, and there's a time to let go and so forth. So that kind of comes back to, does that... Is it better to have fewer because we have fewer to let go of? No. Report an error in the passage at 44:39 Highlight the passage at 44:39

45:07 Love everyone and everything as much as you can. But when you meet them for the first time, for the tenth time, for the hundredth time, you know, it's like drinking from this teacup. Know that it's already broken. This is precious because it's impermanent. Everyone you meet is precious because they are impermanent. Report an error in the passage at 45:07 Highlight the passage at 45:07

45:30 Some aspect of their conditionality. This form is impermanence. I kind of use, I like the analogy, the entire world, entire universe is an ocean of being. And everything that appears in this universe is just a wave on the ocean. But it's still, the wave is still water. It's still Buddha nature. It's just for a period of time taking the shape of a wave that is you, that is me. Report an error in the passage at 45:30 Highlight the passage at 45:30

45:59 That's his building. That's a Buddha. It abides for a period of time, and then the causes and conditions for it pass away. So love what there is to love in this moment. Appreciate it. Feel its preciousness. Every time you say goodbye to someone you love and care about, it may be the last time you see them. Report an error in the passage at 45:59 Highlight the passage at 45:59

46:20 So with that in mind, how are you going to meet them and say goodbye to them? Keeping that close. Helps us to actually be more present with the people that we are with in the moment. We don't get lost in the little minute grievances and other matters. We stay close to love in that moment. So love everything and knowing that its shape as a wave will someday be gone. Report an error in the passage at 46:20 Highlight the passage at 46:20

46:57 But the foundational aspect, our Buddha nature, is always there. It's what we share. It can never be destroyed. So see the Buddha within each person. See the Buddha within each person. Connect to that when you see someone. Speak to and from that place within you and meet that place within them. Thank you. Report an error in the passage at 46:57 Highlight the passage at 46:57

47:38 Good morning. Could you please speak to the relationship between compassion and discernment? I find that sometimes I get pulled off my axis from one to the other, and I'd love to learn how to practice to hold them both. Report an error in the passage at 47:38 Highlight the passage at 47:38

48:00 Compassion, the Latin for means with feeling, with emotion. And what Buddhism is encouraging is compassion that is combined with wisdom, which is that discernment you're talking about. And love actually, you know, sometimes we fall into, help me Eli, with this idiot compassion. We're like, you know, oh, whatever you want, you can do whatever you want. Report an error in the passage at 48:00 Highlight the passage at 48:00

48:25 I love you and it's okay and I have sympathy for you. But that's not real compassion. It's not clear seeing compassion. Real compassion honors boundaries, healthy boundaries, right? It honors boundaries that say what is wholesome and beneficial and non-harming to do. And not to engage in things that are unwholesome or harming, right? So we have to use our discernment. Is what I'm about to say or do in any way coming from a sense of a separate self or harming? Report an error in the passage at 48:25 Highlight the passage at 48:25

48:58 Or is it coming from a sense of our shared being, from love, from connectedness? So I'm sure you have said to your wonderful child, I assume to your child, right? When they want maybe ice cream or candy before dinner. And you say, no, dear, we're going to have dinner first. And you're doing that because you love them, because you know it's better for them. Report an error in the passage at 48:58 Highlight the passage at 48:58

49:23 And they may get very upset with you, very angry, have a little temper tantrum. You don't do that, I'm sure. That never happens, right? But it's okay. You still love them. And even though they're having their meltdown, because you know true compassion is to honor the thing that is best in terms of their well-being. Report an error in the passage at 49:23 Highlight the passage at 49:23

49:44 And in time, they too forget about it or realize. So yeah, the knowing, and this goes back to we have to love ourselves and care for ourselves and know what a healthy boundary is, relationship to others, and do the same. I see another hand in the back right now. I'm sure we're out of time. Good morning. Report an error in the passage at 49:44 Highlight the passage at 49:44

50:15 Yeah, you spoke a lot about, You know, internalizing, letting go and understanding impermanence. As someone who's not particularly spiritual, sometimes there's always felt like a dissonance to me between letting go and impermanence and, you know, apathy or like caring about the suffering of the world or, you know, willing yourself into action. Report an error in the passage at 50:15 Highlight the passage at 50:15

50:37 So how do you simultaneously understand that suffering itself is impermanent or that you should be able to let go? And still not be apathetic to the suffering around you. Yeah, apathy is like the near enemy of equanimity, I think it is. And so this idea that you can feel deeply and care deeply, but you don't have to identify with the person in front of you or what's happening. Report an error in the passage at 50:37 Highlight the passage at 50:37

51:13 So we don't come from a sense of a separate self. We come from a sense of connectedness. And so finding our equanimity, our balance, in the midst of whatever we might be feeling is very important. Report an error in the passage at 51:13 Highlight the passage at 51:13

51:29 Equanimity, what it does is it widens the aperture of awareness. And it makes for a wide heart. So everything can be seen with equal regard and included. Report an error in the passage at 51:29 Highlight the passage at 51:29

51:43 So apathy means I don't care, leave something out. Equanimity requires that we include everything. And we see the causes and conditions for how it has arisen. We might have an understanding of when this situation happens, this is the impact and this is how people respond. So we can have compassion that people are responding to circumstances in a certain way. But at the same time, we can discern equity equity Report an error in the passage at 51:43 Highlight the passage at 51:43

52:11 What is a skillful means here for me to engage? And we all have to discern. We get so, again, I discern by, I try not to read too much newspaper or see the news. Because when I start reading the newspaper and I start spinning up here and I have unwholesome thoughts about people I'm meeting about and so on, I'm like, I'm losing my equanimity. Report an error in the passage at 52:11 Highlight the passage at 52:11

52:38 I don't want to give that away. So I'm going to step back from this because I know I need a little bit of space. Maybe I can do some metapractice. Maybe there's something concrete I can do. I can write to somebody and say, hey, please be aware. I can vote. There's things I can do where I still stay engaged and I don't give up. Report an error in the passage at 52:38 Highlight the passage at 52:38

53:03 Hopelessness is kind of death, right? Don't give up. Even if you make one little step. One little effort. Even if it's something like, you know, living in San Francisco, I often walk through the streets. I see so many people who are unhoused and great degree of suffering, you know, drug addiction and other things. Report an error in the passage at 53:03 Highlight the passage at 53:03

53:25 I might not in the moment be able to do anything, but I can send them mettā. I can send them hello. I don't have to be apathetic and ignore them. I see them. I acknowledge them. I send them loving kindness in some way. So I'm including, as best I can, their truth, their presence in my world, even if I feel I can't in the moment do something to change the entire system that causes these conditions. Report an error in the passage at 53:25 Highlight the passage at 53:25

53:55 Is that helpful? Thank you. Eli, where are we at? Okay, I'm invited for someone to offer a last question. Sharing a question. Anything? Report an error in the passage at 53:55 Highlight the passage at 53:55

54:20 Online? Nope. Okay. Well, in that case, maybe it's time for tea and cookies. What do you think? You've been sitting here a while. I'm going to have compassion for all of you and this now. So thank you again. It's been a joy to be with all of you. Please take good care of yourselves. And in doing so, you can also take good care of the world. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast. Report an error in the passage at 54:20 Highlight the passage at 54:20

54:47 offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click Give. May we fully enjoy the Dharma. Report an error in the passage at 54:47 Highlight the passage at 54:47