How to REAL-ate

0:00 Yes, it was kind of short notice for me, the people who came to the half-day retreat know that I was advertising that Bhante Chunda will be coming but he went back earlier now because the ride was available and it didn't quite work out so we had a topic to cover but I want to cover it thoroughly so I am not ready for that but I'm happy to just have a session together with you and to maybe also because we're getting towards the end of the year See if some of you have come, you know, a couple of times. If there is anything you would like to reflect upon or any questions that might have arisen during that time or just, yeah, how it is for you to know that in 21 days, as it says over there, Christmas is coming. Report an error in the passage at 0:00 Highlight the passage at 0:00

0:50 You were already mentioning, yeah, that it is this kind of time where we come together with family and that can also create a bit of friction. can create a lot of happy feelings as well but also when we've lost people then the loss usually comes up at those important times during the year you know when someone has a birthday or when we were on holiday with the person the last time or when we came together as a family and then there's suddenly this kind of like hole that we might feel much stronger at that moment Then we would otherwise, anyway. Is there anything from your side? Report an error in the passage at 0:50 Highlight the passage at 0:50

1:37 Is there any questions or any reflections on the Christmas period or December? Report an error in the passage at 1:37 Highlight the passage at 1:37

1:54 Not really. Okay, well, that's fine. It's no problem. I just thought if there is something there, then I'd try to kind of respond to that. And I also don't want to repeat. What do you mean by being too prepared? prepared is that sometimes when we are too prepared it can actually be a hindrance, it can be problematic. Report an error in the passage at 1:54 Highlight the passage at 1:54

2:35 It's nice to have a little bit of an idea, it's nice to feel that you are coming from knowing your stuff basically, but on the other hand it can block out this ability to listen and this ability to be in the moment. So if we have too much of an idea what we want to do, it kind of puts up these blinders and we are not open to adapt. Report an error in the passage at 2:35 Highlight the passage at 2:35

3:10 We're not open to be flexible enough. And sometimes we also just feel, you know. Yeah, I'm not qualified or some of these things might kind of arise and we want to try to make sure that that doesn't arise by preparing, but then it just doesn't quite gel. And I mean, for me as a primary school teacher in the past, that's kind of like my conditioning, which is still there even though it's been 20 years. Of course you have an idea. Report an error in the passage at 3:10 Highlight the passage at 3:10

3:44 What the kids should be learning and where you should be at at some stage so you have a little bit of a bigger kind of container where all these things are happening but you also want to make sure that you are there for the children and that when something arises that there isn't this kind of rigidity of you know we have to now do this and get things covered and then we end up kind of getting ourselves in a situation where we bog ourselves down and it's so much more important that the environment is actually looked at and cared for so that was one of the concerns that i realized was important for the children so that there is a understanding that there is a feeling of safety that there is a Feeling of ease in the room where we are together and then of course you will need those tools and things where the learning can happen but you can't force a person to learn. Report an error in the passage at 3:44 Highlight the passage at 3:44

4:59 You can just create the environment. And another thing that I was also sharing at that group that I was recently at is one of the other monastics was getting ready. Kind of thinking about, you know, what shall I do? I'm going to be giving one of those talks, a Friday night talk in town. I don't know how many of you are familiar with Ajahn Brahm and, you know, the other monastics and what is happening usually on Friday nights at our city center in Dhammaloka. Report an error in the passage at 4:59 Highlight the passage at 4:59

5:30 You probably get, I don't know, 300, 400 people turning up. And you sit in front of them, they're all looking, and there's like a live stream camera in the background there, and you kind of feel, you know, oh, the stakes are really high, and, you know, how is this all gonna go? And the monastic in question, who was up for the talk, had an opportunity to speak to Ajahn Brahm and was asking, what is the best way to prepare for this talk? Report an error in the passage at 5:30 Highlight the passage at 5:30

6:04 And that's when Ajahn Brahm said, well, the best way to prepare is to be in the right mind state. And that probably kind of ties back into what we were talking about last time I was here. Just make sure that you are coming from the right place, that you have kind of prepared the ground in that sense. Report an error in the passage at 6:04 Highlight the passage at 6:04

6:27 As I was reflecting on that, I kind of knew that this might happen but that it might not happen. So I wasn't as diligent as usually with, you know, taking a bit more time for myself to quieten down and to be ready. But then also I was thinking, you know, you need this kind of flexibility as well in situations where you really, really don't expect and where there might be a little bit of... Report an error in the passage at 6:27 Highlight the passage at 6:27

6:56 Kind of, oh, I didn't prepare for this, and why is it me? And then when those kind of mind states arise, then I kind of block myself out again to have this ability to be present and to just share in the moment. One of the other things we discussed as well is that in our tradition, what is very beautiful is that Ajahn Chah, even if there would be quite junior monastics that he would sometimes ask to give a talk, He would say, look, as long as you are teaching from the heart, as long as you are not, you know, kind of pretending or trying to create something which is just wowable and you're honestly sharing and teaching from the heart, then that is your truth. Report an error in the passage at 6:56 Highlight the passage at 6:56

7:48 And even though other people might not, you know, have that same truth at that moment, fine. But what else can you do? And if you manage that then it might go well, it might go medium, it might go not so well, but you've done your best, isn't it? And that's really the only thing that we can do. The other thing that I was also reflecting upon was that kind of friction that I was describing that arises when we We don't want certain things or we had an idea of how it should be and that's what happened for me when I was working with disabled people in the past also as a layperson and it was a kind of a new environment that's not something I was trained in but I thought okay that's an interesting thing to do my sister actually did a bit of that work and then also because I didn't want to do military training in Switzerland which at that time was compulsory. Report an error in the passage at 7:48 Highlight the passage at 7:48

8:52 I was still able to kind of talk to a committee and explain why I don't want to do this and there was an alternative and there were many many different things that you could do and one of the things that was an offer that I actually tried out and also worked at like a carer in that sense for six months was quite interesting because the people I worked with they had a bit of physical handicaps but mainly mental handicaps and some of them didn't have language whatsoever and when you are coming from this kind of intellectual idea and from planning things and communicating things with language you suddenly come to this kind of crossroad where you bang your head against the wall because you want to communicate but I was sharing one client with three people because he was quite challenging. Report an error in the passage at 8:52 Highlight the passage at 8:52

10:17 So, he was an 18-year-old male and, you know, he was strong and he was, yeah, he didn't have a lot of kind of frustration tolerance when something went in a way that he didn't want it to go. And then you had to kind of handle that situation in some sort of way. And you do learn by kind of Report an error in the passage at 10:17 Highlight the passage at 10:17

10:47 What is it called? Error and... What's the other one? Try and error. There we go. Thank you. And you get it wrong a couple of times. But when you are willing to learn and when you are understanding that what you are putting in, even though it might not be the communication that we do. Otherwise, there's so many things that actually communicate. Report an error in the passage at 10:47 Highlight the passage at 10:47

11:14 And when you're a little bit aware of what's happening within your own heart and how that affects other people, then some people I have experienced, and especially people who have some, you know, handicaps, they are actually very, very good mirrors for what is happening within ourselves. They are so tuned in and they listen and they understand, not by what you're saying. Report an error in the passage at 11:14 Highlight the passage at 11:14

12:07 Bhante Bodhidhaja was a very strong 18-year-old male and we knew that he had injured people in the past. Sometimes you would have to hold the person because there are certain things and certain situations where you have to contain it in some way. He's broken people's nose bones with his head and he's broken glass and all sorts of things. Report an error in the passage at 12:07 Highlight the passage at 12:07

12:34 So I had to learn to hold him, but to hold him in a way without creating anger, without creating resistance, without basically going to war. Because I realized that I didn't really have a chance. He was really strong. And even if there were three of us, and it just wouldn't feel right, you know, kind of three of you. Report an error in the passage at 12:34 Highlight the passage at 12:34

13:04 I was still holding him and when I was holding him with kindness, with understanding, with giving him a container but still, you know, not being irritated, not having kind of hateful thoughts, hate is a big word, but you know, just hate or irritation or frustration, then he would allow me to hold him. Report an error in the passage at 13:04 Highlight the passage at 13:04

13:34 to restrain him in that sense and then you know the whole situation would be able to calm down and to balance itself out so that was one thing I learned with those people when I worked with them and that was wonderful and the other thing is also that kind Report an error in the passage at 13:34 Highlight the passage at 13:34

13:56 of wanting to understand wanting to communicate and Putting so much energy into that process that I would actually tire myself out and that I wouldn't be available, that I wouldn't be able to work to the best of my ability. So it took me I think probably the first time about three days. But after three days you kind of get in tune with that one person you're looking after and with the whole group and with what is happening there. Report an error in the passage at 13:56 Highlight the passage at 13:56

14:26 And I often describe it as you kind of Put out your antennae to communicate in a different way, to receive and also to transmit some of those things that we usually do with language. Report an error in the passage at 14:26 Highlight the passage at 14:26

14:45 And then you are kind of in that world. But because the friction lessens, it can actually be quite energizing. And you are in the flow, so to speak. I'm sure you had probably experiences in other areas but for me that was one area where I kind of learned that. And then you're in that kind of state for the two weeks that you spent together and then you have to make your way out of that state again into the normal kind of world because you have your antennae all out. Report an error in the passage at 14:45 Highlight the passage at 14:45

15:21 And you're coming into a world where they bombard you with communication, where they bombard you with expectation, where you have to function in a completely different way. So I had this kind of transition of not wanting to eat for a little while or eating really little and just being quiet and grounded and slowly slowly kind of making your way out. Report an error in the passage at 15:21 Highlight the passage at 15:21

15:46 And that is probably something for the people who have experience with coming to a retreat or coming to a longer period of silence that something similar is happening. You come into a quiet environment, you come into a meditative environment and then initially there is this kind of friction and you're trying to trying to fit in or you are Not so happy and you don't want to fit in and it creates all this kind of energy and you tire yourself out but then at some stage you just kind of give in and go with the flow and you don't really realize when you're in the flow so much that that is happening so there were some of those kind of funny situations if you look at it from the outside it was funny if you're in it you don't really so we would also sometimes help each other. Report an error in the passage at 15:46 Highlight the passage at 15:46

16:37 Because, you know, you wouldn't be working every day. You would also sometimes get half a day off or we would have someone look after another person every now and then. And so in Switzerland, it was in summer because that's when the vacations were on and we would go to a lake to, you know, do a bit of bathing and stuff like that. Report an error in the passage at 16:37 Highlight the passage at 16:37

16:56 So I was looking after two other people, like, you know, adults. But because they needed a different type of care, then you would otherwise expect from an adult, but people from the outside, they don't really see that, isn't it? So I had one on one hand and the other one on the other hand, and we're like in a public space together. And you get this kind of look from the people around you, and you reflect, oh yeah, that's right. Report an error in the passage at 16:56 Highlight the passage at 16:56

17:27 This must actually look quite weird to the people who don't know what's going on here. And it kind of snaps you out of that kind of mind state that you're in for a little moment. And then you're like, oh yeah, that's all right. That's the kind of outside perspective. And then you go back in and it's like, okay, this is my job. But one of the things that I also reflected upon back then that came back to mind Report an error in the passage at 17:27 Highlight the passage at 17:27

17:54 And I don't know if that's very unique, but that's something that happened for me. I understood that it is quite a challenging job and that I actually have quite a bit of responsibility for those people as well. So, of course, you know, most of them would be okay to put to bed or, yeah, you say that, isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 17:54 Highlight the passage at 17:54

18:15 I don't want to use the wrong term or just, you know, at night time it's time to go to sleep and you knew, okay, you don't have to worry about them. But then I realized, well, it's probably a good idea to worry in a good sense or to take care of myself because I want to be present again for these people the next day. Report an error in the passage at 18:15 Highlight the passage at 18:15

18:37 And other people in that group, they're like, oh, you know, now is the time for... A bit of whatever, chill time. I can't even remember what was allowed and what wasn't allowed. You know, probably you weren't allowed to have drugs but maybe a little bit of alcohol, I don't know really. But even just the idea of watching TV and some of them had horror movies that they were interested in or whatever it was and quite late into the night. Report an error in the passage at 18:37 Highlight the passage at 18:37

19:07 And for me it was just kind of a no-brainer in terms of First of all, do I want to expose myself to these kind of things? Is it something wholesome and beneficial for me? But for me, there was also the other aspect of, you know, I have a job. I have a responsibility here. I want to be present. I want to be ready. And I don't want to, I don't know, clog up my system and clog up this beautiful energy. Report an error in the passage at 19:07 Highlight the passage at 19:07

19:39 That happens when you're listening, when you're receptive. And the other thing you also have to understand, once you are more receptive, once you are more aware, once you are more present, all these things have a bit of a kind of like stronger influence on you. They go in and they don't just get buried. They actually get processed or they move things within you. Report an error in the passage at 19:39 Highlight the passage at 19:39

20:09 Yeah, I think I actually expressed it to the people. Not in a way, you know, trying to tell them off or whatever, but I was just saying this is what is true for me and I'd rather, you know, go to bed early or go for a walk or meditate or whatever it was to just kind of like balance myself out. Report an error in the passage at 20:09 Highlight the passage at 20:09

20:29 All right. Well, that's a few things that come to mind from, you know, you also triggering me a little bit with... with being a carer at the Report an error in the passage at 20:29 Highlight the passage at 20:29

20:44 but it's not just our work I mean that's maybe another aspect that I found so beautiful Report an error in the passage at 20:44 Highlight the passage at 20:44

20:54 you know, I finished my work as a teacher and I was happy to do that work instead of doing military training. And I actually enjoyed what I was doing. So this idea of, You have to work to earn money and it's your kind of duty and all these kind of concepts didn't really arise for me. And it's interesting, I was doing exactly the same work like everyone else. Or also when I changed from being a teacher to caring for those people, I had like a roster, a work roster. Report an error in the passage at 20:54 Highlight the passage at 20:54

21:35 And it was different than at school. You know, at school it's always the same. Okay, you get your holidays and people will tell us, oh, you get a lot of holidays. That's true, yes. But if it would be, say, like a Tuesday morning or like a Thursday afternoon when I would always be with the kids, I would be out there, you know, I don't know, going for a walk or doing something or doing my shopping and I just kind of felt so special. Report an error in the passage at 21:35 Highlight the passage at 21:35

21:58 I was like, wow! Report an error in the passage at 21:58 Highlight the passage at 21:58

22:02 I'm free. I don't have to be in the classroom and I don't have this kind of structure that I always had before. And yeah, I really felt that even if I weren't paid, I would have been happy to do the job. And that's, I think, something really, really beautiful. I did actually try to extend, but you know, you get military training is roughly a year. Report an error in the passage at 22:02 Highlight the passage at 22:02

22:30 And if you choose not to do military training, that's what was happening back then, you had to do one and a half years. And once I ran out of the one and a half years, I was like, can I get more? Report an error in the passage at 22:30 Highlight the passage at 22:30

22:41 I really enjoy, you know, being able to do all these different jobs. One of them I had to do for half a year, but then afterwards I could just choose. And there was this huge catalogue of stuff you could do. You could go overseas, you could try to do something that you've never tried before. You didn't actually need proper training for it. Report an error in the passage at 22:41 Highlight the passage at 22:41

23:00 They would give you some basic training and they would make sure that you do some of the jobs. But I mean, some of my friends, they worked in hospital and they didn't have any training for that. So they would just get the basic training and then just do whatever they were able to do and to contribute. And you would always have another responsible person there for the things that were... Report an error in the passage at 23:00 Highlight the passage at 23:00

23:26 Yeah, but even... I remember one of the things that wasn't on my kind of to-do list was to stay overnight because I wouldn't be able to do that by myself I didn't have any training or whatever but I said I would like to so I actually stayed a couple of times as well and just was an additional person and I used to do a massage therapy at that time and I really really also wanted to offer that to to the people that were living on in that What did you like the most about the group? Report an error in the passage at 23:26 Highlight the passage at 23:26

24:27 Because I trained to massage, you know, many different parts of the body. Anyway, okay. Does that trigger anything or is there any follow-up questions or does that make sense? sense a lot of that makes sense i have dementia clients a lot of ways if you're communicating spot on yeah yeah be present and yeah you'll get to know someone yeah the communication can be through touch yes or pauses yes gentleness yeah um people genuinely feel if you respect them i guess they feel that yes even if there's all sorts of other things going on Hmm. And then there's a trust, there's something there that trusts, and yeah, a lot of those techniques are totally related. Report an error in the passage at 24:27 Highlight the passage at 24:27

25:18 I mean, you know... I don't know if it's even a technique, you know, it just kind of arose from the moment, and respect is one of those really important words, yes. I mean, even Ajahn Brahm, when he says the three questions, what's the most important time, what's the most important thing, what you're doing? Report an error in the passage at 25:18 Highlight the passage at 25:18

25:37 No, the most important person. The person you're with. Yes, and then the most important thing to do is to care. Is to care, yes. And like, I'm not great at what I do, but I'm really... I appreciate it for what I do, just because I'm there. I turn up, I'm present. But I mean, don't say I'm not great. Because the other thing I just wanted to mention is honesty. Report an error in the passage at 25:37 Highlight the passage at 25:37

26:01 If we're honest, then that is an expression of respect and trust. Yeah, just being sincere and real. What more can you do? And people like that. And then you also learn. Because if you don't have that openness, if there is this kind of like, you know, I know what I'm doing or I know I got my training and now, okay, you have to follow the training I learned. Report an error in the passage at 26:01 Highlight the passage at 26:01

26:30 Why are you not responding to the thing I learned in the classroom? That's when you have to let go of those things that you have learned. Report an error in the passage at 26:30 Highlight the passage at 26:30

26:41 Go into a relationship and connect. Yeah, like I'll see a new client on my system. I'll go, okay, a new client and I'll turn up. I won't be quite sure. I'll be respectful and get to know them. Yes, yes, yes. And that's the other thing with respect as well that I try to kind of tell my kids and through my kids also to the parents basically that I wanted to make sure that even when they told me things about their parents that I might not agree with so much I would respect what the parents do and that they have the best interest in mind for their child and hoping that when I kind of show that respect towards the way they do things that they will also respect the way I do it in the classroom that they might not agree with. Yeah, I have my kind of conditioning how I, you know, say this is a rule and we keep this rule or whatever it is and yeah, that is very, very important that we kind of work together. Report an error in the passage at 26:41 Highlight the passage at 26:41

27:48 Another thing I do just quickly is whenever I meet a new client, I see a human being going through the aging process. People feel that. I don't see an old person. I see a person. person that's going through the process Yes. And it's actually something beautiful as well. You know, even when you look at nature, that you have these rhythms and that there is a certain kind of ripeness. And that's actually what grows in practitioners. Report an error in the passage at 27:48 Highlight the passage at 27:48

28:24 The older people become. And if they're lucky enough to still be here in a form that is manageable. Yes, but there is grace and there is an acceptance. There is an understanding that this is part of the trajectory and that we learn from this body, that we learn from sickness, that we learn from the difficulties. Report an error in the passage at 28:24 Highlight the passage at 28:24

28:49 And I still remember this one very vivid kind of situation with one of the children that had trouble. And I automatically went into this role of like, okay, I'm the teacher and I have to fix things and I have to make sure, you know, and try this and try that and try something else. At some stage, it just somehow clicked. And I just stood or sat next to the child and said, this is difficult for you, isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 28:49 Highlight the passage at 28:49

29:17 And the child just lit up and said, Yes! Finally! I mean, it didn't, but just from the expression, I realized how forceful I was, even though I wanted to help. I had good intentions, but it just didn't, yeah, there was a communication breakdown. Yeah, there wasn't enough listening or enough understanding. Okay, very good. Let's try and... Report an error in the passage at 29:17 Highlight the passage at 29:17

29:51 bring that into our meditation practice together so Report an error in the passage at 29:51 Highlight the passage at 29:51

30:05 now is a good time to wiggle a little bit and to readjust if that feels right if you're already in a comfortable position that's that's great well Report an error in the passage at 30:05 Highlight the passage at 30:05

30:29 we can basically apply what i was sharing to our bodies and to our minds right now we Report an error in the passage at 30:29 Highlight the passage at 30:29

30:50 can kind of imagine that Our minds and our bodies are almost like another kind of entity and we are coming into the space here together with them and Report an error in the passage at 30:50 Highlight the passage at 30:50

31:11 there is now some sort of communication happening. But it's actually quite a different type of communication than the one that we are usually used to. It's Report an error in the passage at 31:11 Highlight the passage at 31:11

31:36 much more a simple presence, a receptiveness. And in order to do that, we kind of have to let go of our own stuff, our own worries and concerns for a little moment. And Report an error in the passage at 31:36 Highlight the passage at 31:36

32:05 it's actually so beautiful if another being or something like our body and our mind can be the mirror and can be the trigger for that. Because Report an error in the passage at 32:05 Highlight the passage at 32:05

32:21 otherwise we just out of habit hold on to so many things that are, yeah. Kind of pretty useless or even burdensome, heavy, tiring, but Report an error in the passage at 32:21 Highlight the passage at 32:21

32:42 we just, yeah, don't really know any better because the conditioning is so strong and the world, you know, tells us to do things in certain ways that are often not so helpful. So Report an error in the passage at 32:42 Highlight the passage at 32:42

33:03 if you haven't closed your eyes yet, I encourage you to do that. If it's too much, you can just do it halfway, whatever feels right. But the idea is that we open up to feeling and understanding what's going on. Report an error in the passage at 33:03 Highlight the passage at 33:03

33:25 We try not to be distracted by the things on the outside, so that's why it helps to close the eyes, to Report an error in the passage at 33:25 Highlight the passage at 33:25

33:41 not pay too much attention to them or to the other senses as well. knowing that we are in a safe space here together and Report an error in the passage at 33:41 Highlight the passage at 33:41

34:06 then we can allow the mind to just linger on what's going on and Report an error in the passage at 34:06 Highlight the passage at 34:06

34:19 as it was expressed very nicely we do that in a respectful manner even Report an error in the passage at 34:19 Highlight the passage at 34:19

34:34 if we don't understand even if we don't know why our body feels in a certain way why our mind It behaves, runs in a certain direction, does what it does, but it has its reasons. It has its causes and its conditions. Report an error in the passage at 34:34 Highlight the passage at 34:34

35:09 We don't have any control over that, but Report an error in the passage at 35:09 Highlight the passage at 35:09

35:18 we can listen, we can learn, and Report an error in the passage at 35:18 Highlight the passage at 35:18

35:27 we can be honest. If we don't like it, we don't have to think, I'm a Buddhist, I have to like this. If we don't like it, we don't like it, it's okay. It might be difficult. It might be unpleasant. Report an error in the passage at 35:27 Highlight the passage at 35:27

35:46 That's what we call being patient, having acceptance, holding space, holding Report an error in the passage at 35:46 Highlight the passage at 35:46

36:02 the body, holding the mind. As I was learning to relate to that client of mine back then, didn't really understand why he was lashing out and why he was feeling agitated. But Report an error in the passage at 36:02 Highlight the passage at 36:02

36:22 my... own agitation in my own heart definitely didn't help didn't take me very long to figure that out find Report an error in the passage at 36:22 Highlight the passage at 36:22

36:36 a different way and Report an error in the passage at 36:36 Highlight the passage at 36:36

37:00 then keep listening keep Report an error in the passage at 37:00 Highlight the passage at 37:00

37:04 feeling keep connecting and see how things evolve are Report an error in the passage at 37:04 Highlight the passage at 37:04

37:17 they getting more agitated are they speeding up is there you know kind of pressure or heat or is there the opposite happening Report an error in the passage at 37:17 Highlight the passage at 37:17

37:33 A softening, an opening, a Report an error in the passage at 37:33 Highlight the passage at 37:33

37:43 slowing down of things, a Report an error in the passage at 37:43 Highlight the passage at 37:43

37:50 settling. Report an error in the passage at 37:50 Highlight the passage at 37:50

38:00 Sometimes it actually feels kind of the same, but we can kind of be in it, very close to it, and feel the heat, or we can be a bit further away. It doesn't mean that we don't care. We stay connected. Report an error in the passage at 38:00 Highlight the passage at 38:00

38:26 We carry on caring, being respectful, but we move away from the heat, from the involvement, from the entanglement, giving Report an error in the passage at 38:26 Highlight the passage at 38:26

38:55 each other space to Report an error in the passage at 38:55 Highlight the passage at 38:55

39:02 be how we are, whatever that might look like. And Report an error in the passage at 39:02 Highlight the passage at 39:02

39:31 as you engage in this way, you do get feedback. You get feedback from your body and Report an error in the passage at 39:31 Highlight the passage at 39:31

39:43 you get feedback from your mind. Report an error in the passage at 39:43 Highlight the passage at 39:43

39:55 Even get feedback from your breath if you're aware of that. Report an error in the passage at 39:55 Highlight the passage at 39:55

40:23 Unburdening the body, allowing it to soften, allowing it to rest. And Report an error in the passage at 40:23 Highlight the passage at 40:23

40:58 as you engage in this type of conversation without words, you Report an error in the passage at 40:58 Highlight the passage at 40:58

41:09 get absorbed in it. You're Report an error in the passage at 41:09 Highlight the passage at 41:09

41:15 actually enjoying it. Kind Report an error in the passage at 41:15 Highlight the passage at 41:15

41:28 of master-slave relationship between you telling the body what to do. Softens into a partnership, grows Report an error in the passage at 41:28 Highlight the passage at 41:28

41:43 into connection and mutual respect, engaged Report an error in the passage at 41:43 Highlight the passage at 41:43

42:01 and Report an error in the passage at 42:01 Highlight the passage at 42:01

42:08 at ease at the same time. See Report an error in the passage at 42:08 Highlight the passage at 42:08

· · · silence, 1 minute

42:49 if you can bring more and more parts of your body along, connecting Report an error in the passage at 42:49 Highlight the passage at 42:49

42:59 to them, seeing them, respecting them and Report an error in the passage at 42:59 Highlight the passage at 42:59

43:11 having a relationship I really like. That the word relationship includes the word real. It's a real relationship without pretending, without pleasing, without manipulating, but Report an error in the passage at 43:11 Highlight the passage at 43:11

43:51 with encouragement. Each Report an error in the passage at 43:51 Highlight the passage at 43:51

43:58 other's kind of benefits and welfare in mind. And Report an error in the passage at 43:58 Highlight the passage at 43:58

· · · silence, 1 minute

44:45 if we... are able to get this right-ish and that will spread into the mind as well that will influence our attitudes the way we perceive the world the way we understand the way we relate to Report an error in the passage at 44:45 Highlight the passage at 44:45

45:22 things that are not physical but Report an error in the passage at 45:22 Highlight the passage at 45:22

45:31 they can still Feel quite hard and solid at times, and Report an error in the passage at 45:31 Highlight the passage at 45:31

45:39 we can soften them up too. And Report an error in the passage at 45:39 Highlight the passage at 45:39

· · · silence, 1 minute

46:30 then as we become more confident, more trusting, more at ease, stillness can grow. Report an error in the passage at 46:30 Highlight the passage at 46:30

46:48 Stillness is actually a natural expression of all these beautiful things. Feeling completely at ease in someone's presence. Report an error in the passage at 46:48 Highlight the passage at 46:48

47:08 In the presence of our bodies and our minds, in Report an error in the passage at 47:08 Highlight the passage at 47:08

47:18 the presence of this moment however it presents itself, not Report an error in the passage at 47:18 Highlight the passage at 47:18

47:33 feeling compelled to have to fix, to have to do, to have to speak. Report an error in the passage at 47:33 Highlight the passage at 47:33

47:47 This is probably a good time for me to shut up too. If Report an error in the passage at 47:47 Highlight the passage at 47:47

48:04 that's a bit too much, you can just gently allow your awareness to be with The simple process of breathing. There isn't enough happiness and relaxation and ease present. Report an error in the passage at 48:04 Highlight the passage at 48:04

48:24 And allow the breath to gently guide you towards more stillness, ease and peace. We Report an error in the passage at 48:24 Highlight the passage at 48:24

· · · silence, 3 minutes

51:55 can respect whatever arises and even welcome it. As I said, sometimes with a safe distance in between. But without denying it, it's here. Whatever Report an error in the passage at 51:55 Highlight the passage at 51:55

52:19 sensation, whatever thought might come up, it's okay. You belong. I Report an error in the passage at 52:19 Highlight the passage at 52:19

52:36 don't resist you. I Report an error in the passage at 52:36 Highlight the passage at 52:36

52:43 don't resent you. Let Report an error in the passage at 52:43 Highlight the passage at 52:43

52:52 you be. I'll let you do your thing. Getting Report an error in the passage at 52:52 Highlight the passage at 52:52

· · · silence, 1 minute

54:13 stuck in the past, things Report an error in the passage at 54:13 Highlight the passage at 54:13

54:19 can change. They can shift really drastically in a moment, as long as they're not fed. Report an error in the passage at 54:19 Highlight the passage at 54:19

54:38 Not anticipating or fretting what's going to happen in the future. How it's going to evolve. How Report an error in the passage at 54:38 Highlight the passage at 54:38

54:53 it's not going to change. Report an error in the passage at 54:53 Highlight the passage at 54:53

55:00 Stay open, connected and flexible. Report an error in the passage at 55:00 Highlight the passage at 55:00

55:18 Connecting, caring, cooperating. And Report an error in the passage at 55:18 Highlight the passage at 55:18

· · · silence, 1 minute

56:10 at this point in the meditation it's important to understand like I described before that In this process where we open up and where we flow with things, where our antennae get very sensitive, then Report an error in the passage at 56:10 Highlight the passage at 56:10

56:35 we have to walk backwards out into the world where we came from gently and slowly as well and allow it time so we can readjust. So Report an error in the passage at 56:35 Highlight the passage at 56:35

56:59 getting in touch. Report an error in the passage at 56:59 Highlight the passage at 56:59

57:04 With the sensors, getting Report an error in the passage at 57:04 Highlight the passage at 57:04

57:10 in touch with the body and the sensations there, getting Report an error in the passage at 57:10 Highlight the passage at 57:10

57:24 ready to emerge from meditation on the other end. But Report an error in the passage at 57:24 Highlight the passage at 57:24

57:38 then making sure that we don't do this too abruptly and too quickly. If things have really cooled down, it's like when you have a glass from the fridge that you take out so you allow it to come to room temperature slowly you don't just take water from the kettle which is boiling hot and pour it straight into the glass because that will break and shatter the glass so Report an error in the passage at 57:38 Highlight the passage at 57:38

58:22 we go slowly gently step by step and Report an error in the passage at 58:22 Highlight the passage at 58:22

58:32 one way to connect The sense of hearing is through the singing bowl when we transition out of a meditative state. As Report an error in the passage at 58:32 Highlight the passage at 58:32

· · · silence, 1 minute

59:31 we finish the meditation and as we also come to the conclusion of this session together here in this space, we all have different spaces that we go into. So, like I was describing, coming up, of the meditation slowly it might also mean that you drive back home and that you sit in front of your house for five minutes before you go in depending what kind of awaits you You also have a bit of a sense of protection as well, because once we are Report an error in the passage at 59:31 Highlight the passage at 59:31

1:00:20 So, Report an error in the passage at 1:00:20 Highlight the passage at 1:00:20

1:00:36 we do need a certain groundedness, flexibility as well in that to, yeah, sometimes not get swept away by some of those things. sensitive sometimes Report an error in the passage at 1:00:36 Highlight the passage at 1:00:36

1:00:24 We can't really distinguish so much of what is ours and what an influence might be from the outside. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:24 Highlight the passage at 1:00:24

1:00:49 when you are relating to situations as i described before that can be quite physical and can be quite you know someone might be going through a difficult thing that we resonate yes very important but that we also make sure that it doesn't overwhelm us because then we can't be that kind of what i was describing before then we can't be This refuge or this thing that holds or that gives some kind of stability to a situation or a person who is quite unstable. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:49 Highlight the passage at 1:00:49

1:01:30 So we have to make sure that we are in a good space ourselves as well. Because then we have the best chance to stabilize the whole situation as well. Otherwise we end up with Yeah, someone suffering and us suffering along and then we just double the suffering in this world. Rather than trying to understand it and to hold it and to... Report an error in the passage at 1:01:30 Highlight the passage at 1:01:30

1:01:59 Sometimes we can't alleviate it, really. But we can be with it. Yeah. Well, anything anyone wishes to share or ask at this point? Okay. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:59 Highlight the passage at 1:01:59

1:02:22 Very good. Thank you for coming along. And have a good week. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:22 Highlight the passage at 1:02:22