Increasing Peace Through Acceptance

0:00 Okay, so I'm going to give just a few words about meditation and just trying to give you just a few tips and tricks on how to calm the mind down. So that's kind of what we're all kind of seeking for. When we come to a class like this is to be able to experience some calm and peace in our own minds. And I think the one thing that can help us lead to that calm and peace is this idea of acceptance. Report an error in the passage at 0:00 Highlight the passage at 0:00

0:49 I think acceptance is quite a powerful powerful. Kind of attitude or a way of just dealing with our lives. Because I think a lot of the time is the way we deal with things is not to accept it. Report an error in the passage at 0:49 Highlight the passage at 0:49

1:15 And that kind of, if you look at it in a Buddhist context, that kind of falls under the two first hindrances. of craving and ill will. So acceptance is opposite of that. So if you have something that arises in your life or even in meditation, generally as human beings, we kind of react with these two things. Report an error in the passage at 1:15 Highlight the passage at 1:15

1:42 It's either craving, like craving for it not to be here, or craving for something else, like we're angry or we're agitated, we crave for peace. And the other thing is when these kind of difficulties arise in our minds, we have ill will towards it. It's like, we don't want this here. We get frustrated because it's here. And you can kind of see the problem is not with what is happening. Report an error in the passage at 1:42 Highlight the passage at 1:42

2:14 The problem is with our reaction. Because if you think about it, if you think about life, Life will always throw things at you to make you uncomfortable. That's just the nature of life. There's no way in this life where you can create a peaceful life for an extended period of time. There's no way you can even create a peaceful life for two weeks. There's no way that you can create a peaceful life for a couple of days. Report an error in the passage at 2:14 Highlight the passage at 2:14

2:54 In life, there's always something that you have to go through that challenges us and that creates that reaction of wanting it to go away or pushing it away. And that's what we do. And you can kind of see when you start pushing things away. That pushing things away, not wanting it here, it creates that tension, the tension of the mind. It creates that kind of, you know, suffering. Report an error in the passage at 2:54 Highlight the passage at 2:54

3:37 Or it creates that kind of experience that makes us think, oh, we need to do something about this. And on the other hand, when we experience something else, which is unpleasant, we have this attitude of... Ill will, not wanting it here. So whatever problems arises, we're like, oh, we don't want this. It's causing us trouble. Report an error in the passage at 3:37 Highlight the passage at 3:37

4:04 We want to push it away. And you can kind of see if you have that ill will, how does that make you feel? It creates the tension in the mind. It rattles us. And why is that? It's just how we relate to what is going on. And the other thing that I've been contemplating recently is like, you know, what is a better way to relate to these things? Report an error in the passage at 4:04 Highlight the passage at 4:04

4:36 And the one thing that I've always been taught for a long, long time is this idea of acceptance. So acceptance, what acceptance means is just kind of, and also that's also meaning understanding. We kind of understand the way the world works. We kind of understand the way our mind works. We kind of understand that there's no possibility to create a life where we're going to be peaceful for 20 years straight, 2 years straight or 2 days straight. Report an error in the passage at 4:36 Highlight the passage at 4:36

5:10 We understand that. So whatever arises in our day to day life, we can be with it. We can accept it. And that being with things, accepting accepting things, it actually is If you look closely, it's like a peaceful, calm reaction to the things that happen in our lives. You can really accept it. Report an error in the passage at 5:10 Highlight the passage at 5:10

5:38 You'll be at peace with it. Kind of a nice example of this. I was talking to a couple. They have a young boy. When kids grow up and they're teenagers, they're not the best kids to their parents. And there's always some sort of tension or ill will or whatever. Kids want to grow up quickly. Do you remember that? When you were a kid? When you were 13, you wanted to be 18? Sometimes I was thinking, they really want to experience life. Report an error in the passage at 5:38 Highlight the passage at 5:38

6:20 and then Report an error in the passage at 6:20 Highlight the passage at 6:20

6:26 and but It's just a weird thought. It's just like they really want to experience life and they have to wait for so long. But that waiting period for them to experience life just creates all these ideas and speculation and all that kind of stuff. And then when they turn 18 and they can get whatever they want, it's not the happiness that they thought they would get from it. So sometimes as a parent it's sort of like, oh, maybe you should just let them go a little bit so they can learn. Report an error in the passage at 6:26 Highlight the passage at 6:26

6:58 That these things don't bring them as much happiness or as much excitement as they think it does. But that's something that I won't tell them because parents don't work that way. But we can understand that. As kids growing up, we always wanted to kind of do things, but we couldn't do them. But anyways, that's beside the point. Report an error in the passage at 6:58 Highlight the passage at 6:58

7:23 um but anyways um so um So I was just having a conversation with him and then you have this idea of just dealing with a kid that's growing up and he's causing you trouble and the kid has to deal with the parents who are getting upset and so forth and things like that. And then you have a kind of tension that happens between those interactions. But then I think at the end of the day, because of... Report an error in the passage at 7:23 Highlight the passage at 7:23

7:59 A parent's acceptance of their child or even the child's acceptance of their parents. Everything settles down and they can eventually just be at peace with each other. Or be at peace for who the child is. Or be at peace for who the parent is. And that gives you an illustration to your mind of the power of acceptance. Report an error in the passage at 7:59 Highlight the passage at 7:59

8:26 A parent can accept their child for whoever they are and still be at peace with it. This is what acceptance can do. Also, when it comes to working with your minds. That's what we're doing. We're working with our minds. We're just finding ways and means to be able to Report an error in the passage at 8:26 Highlight the passage at 8:26

8:57 To have a beautiful, calm attitude towards it. And I think that's the trick to meditation. It's not waiting. Sometimes we wait for the peace to come. Sometimes, yes, the peace does come. But at the same time, it's not all about just waiting and waiting and waiting. It's sort of like, what else can we add into the moment that helps us? Report an error in the passage at 8:57 Highlight the passage at 8:57

9:26 Get to that peace. And one of the things is acceptance. So when we're sitting in meditation and we're having some sort of difficulty, maybe some sort of hindrance that may arise, whether it's sleepiness or whether it's ill will or doubt or anything like that. Report an error in the passage at 9:26 Highlight the passage at 9:26

9:50 How do we relate to it? What is our commentary? Was our commentary attached? To that experience. And sometimes our commentary, it kind of rattles us. It stirs us up. Report an error in the passage at 9:50 Highlight the passage at 9:50

10:08 So instead, we try to, if we can, just take away that commentary and to be a silent observer. Just to be a silent observer. And I think that kind of relates to Ajahn Brahm's teaching of The ability to make peace, to be kind, to be gentle. I mean, if you think about those words, like making peace, it's not an intellectual kind of commentary that goes through your head when you're meditating. Report an error in the passage at 10:08 Highlight the passage at 10:08

10:50 Peace is just peace. Being kind. It almost comes from a silence within us. That kindness. And being gentle. Gentleness doesn't need... You don't need to solve the problem of how to be gentle. I think each and every one of us knows how to be gentle. So this approach of just being a calm, cool observer towards whatever is happening in our minds is a great tool. Report an error in the passage at 10:50 Highlight the passage at 10:50

11:29 To achieve peace of mind. And just the ability to accept. I think that's a powerful teaching. For example, because I have to lead a monastery and sometimes you come across problems or you have to deal with somebody. somebody or or you know things of that nature And then usually you just take it with you. You take it back to your room or you take it to work or you just ruminate and think about it. Report an error in the passage at 11:29 Highlight the passage at 11:29

12:15 And we all know what that feels like when we start to ruminate and think about things and when things start to become heavy in our minds. and and and And opposite to that is sometimes we have these thoughts, have these issues, we have these, they're kind of light in the mind. And because they're light, we can let it go. Report an error in the passage at 12:15 Highlight the passage at 12:15

12:39 We can, okay, we don't want to think about it, we just let it go. And it disappears. But the ones that hang around us, the heavy ones that trouble us, that kind of drag our minds down when we're trying to go through our day, those are the ones where... You can say, that's where the learning and the insights, that's where they happen. And in life we go through these things and it's like, what's the best way to deal with it? Report an error in the passage at 12:39 Highlight the passage at 12:39

13:10 How do I deal with it? And just recently I just tried to do the acceptance practice. And that seems to be very helpful. Just being fully, being able to fully accept it. Report an error in the passage at 13:10 Highlight the passage at 13:10

13:27 And the reason why you're able to fully accept it and be at peace with it is because you understand that this is the nature of the mind. This is the nature of life. Report an error in the passage at 13:27 Highlight the passage at 13:27

13:37 Because sometimes we suffer because we don't accept the nature of life. We want life to be a certain way, but it isn't. It's going to throw you these curveballs. Report an error in the passage at 13:37 Highlight the passage at 13:37

13:48 And then when you have that acceptance to whatever difficulties that you go through, so so Report an error in the passage at 13:48 Highlight the passage at 13:48

13:58 You have this kind of understanding that you can be okay with it. You're okay with it. You can be at peace with it. You feel that you're not pushing it away. You're not creating any more ill will when these things come up. That's the main thing. You're not creating any more ill will. Sometimes that's what we do when these things come up. Report an error in the passage at 13:58 Highlight the passage at 13:58

14:18 We create more ill will. And then the other thing is craving. We just don't want it here. We're getting upset and things like that. That's not there as well. So with the acceptance, you can just be calm. You can just be calm and accept what is in front of you. Report an error in the passage at 14:18 Highlight the passage at 14:18

14:39 And that's a nice thing to do. It's a nice thing to be able to do. Because then you have this understanding that these troubles will reoccur in the future. And what have you done? You've learned a tool, a skill. That can help you with these things. And I think the overall experience is that you're able to deal with life in a more calmer and peaceful way. Report an error in the passage at 14:39 Highlight the passage at 14:39

15:11 And I think that's like, for a lot of us, that's what we kind of want, is to be able to live calmly and just without too many ripples in our lives. So that's one of the benefits that meditation brings to us. Just this practice of just sitting by yourself with your eyes closed for hours, doing it for years, doing it for a long, long time. Report an error in the passage at 15:11 Highlight the passage at 15:11

15:56 You kind of develop this calmness. And coolness about yourself. And it's kind of nice to be calm and cool. It doesn't mean that you're a cool dude. You're just calm. Just nice and calm. Calm. Just like, oh, calm and not too jumpy and not too reactive. Report an error in the passage at 15:56 Highlight the passage at 15:56

16:26 You're just a calm person. And I think you can actually... You can kind of feel that calm from other people. They're kind of like radiated. And, you know, sometimes just living with Ajahn Brahm for many, many years and just understanding that he loves his meditation practice. And, you know, when you understand that someone meditating well Their minds are not moving that much. They're at a kind of a peaceful state. And usually when they get like that, you know, they don't really like to talk too much or they don't want to engage in speech and they're kind of just quiet. Report an error in the passage at 16:26 Highlight the passage at 16:26

17:16 So at times when you're sitting with Ajahn Brahm, having tea with him or just having a little bit of chat, This is in Bodhinyana Monastery. You have the upstairs area. And the monks will come out and have drinks together. And sometimes there's not many of us. And you can just see Ajahn Brahm. He's just sitting in the main seat. Because he's the abbot. And then you have all the monks just sitting around him. Report an error in the passage at 17:16 Highlight the passage at 17:16

17:48 And all the other monks are just yapping away. They're having a good old time. Ajahn Brahm is just sitting there. And he's sitting there quietly. Quietly, just not really engaging in the conversation. And you kind of, when I look at him, you kind of sense that he's just in a peaceful place. You know, you're in a peaceful place. You're comfortable with yourself. You know, you're content. You're kind of happy within. Report an error in the passage at 17:48 Highlight the passage at 17:48

18:22 You're okay within. And there's a strong contentment there. And then because of that, You know, you don't really need to reach out and engage with people. You don't need to talk about things, etc., etc. And that's what you kind of feel from somebody like that. And that's what it is, you know. It's like, you know, what do I get from this meditation practice is like this contentment. Report an error in the passage at 18:22 Highlight the passage at 18:22

18:50 A very simple word, but it's a powerful thing because when you're content, you're... You have this inner contentment. I wouldn't call it joy. I wouldn't call it happiness. But it's almost like a satisfaction, inner satisfaction, even like a little confidence in yourself. And it's like you're okay. It's sort of like, you know, we like to, when people give talks and stuff like that, it's like the feeling of being full. Report an error in the passage at 18:50 Highlight the passage at 18:50

19:28 Like being full from within. Like, you know, you've nourished yourself, your mind, and you're just like full from within, which kind of means that, I don't know, you're okay and everything's fine and stuff like that. And that's what the meditation can do. It brings us this, just this strong sense of contentment. Report an error in the passage at 19:28 Highlight the passage at 19:28

19:51 Just this ability to just be okay with things and not worry about too much. And just living life like that, one can be satisfied. So that's what meditation does. Report an error in the passage at 19:51 Highlight the passage at 19:51

20:07 And I think it's a great thing to be able to just try to develop for oneself really, oneself and for the others, like you're easy to live with or pleasant to talk to, things like that. So yeah. So that's just a few words that I'd like to share with you. And then, yeah, we can do a guided meditation. We can get into the juicy stuff. Report an error in the passage at 20:07 Highlight the passage at 20:07

20:43 We can see how content you are afterwards. Or, yeah, it's just like whatever arises in the mind, just don't worry about it too much. Try to learn from it. Try to learn, like, how do I deal with this problem that, can kind of make me feel at ease, you know? Report an error in the passage at 20:43 Highlight the passage at 20:43

21:05 This is how you kind of teach yourself that you're going in the right direction. Because sometimes meditators, they come in and they do the mettā, they do this, they do that, just try to watch the breath, they're controlling the mind, and they think they're doing all the right things. But then afterwards, they're just feeling more crankier, more kind of, Like, you know, uptight. So just remember what you do or how you meditate. Report an error in the passage at 21:05 Highlight the passage at 21:05

21:40 You can see the results quite quickly. So you have to learn how to adjust and learn how to adjust and just find ways and attitudes of how to deal with things so we can feel calm and peaceful at the end of it all. Report an error in the passage at 21:40 Highlight the passage at 21:40

· · · silence, 1 minute

23:23 Meditation is really just an experience. Report an error in the passage at 23:23 Highlight the passage at 23:23

23:32 It's not really a you do this to get this kind of result. Report an error in the passage at 23:32 Highlight the passage at 23:32

23:43 It's more of just Report an error in the passage at 23:43 Highlight the passage at 23:43

23:48 being here and Report an error in the passage at 23:48 Highlight the passage at 23:48

23:58 just looking at what's in front of us and Report an error in the passage at 23:58 Highlight the passage at 23:58

24:10 just experiencing life in this way. That's what it is really. Meditation is experiencing life in a different way. Report an error in the passage at 24:10 Highlight the passage at 24:10

24:28 So if you think about it, if you meditate for half an hour, that's considered quite a lot of time. In half an hour you can do quite a bit. You can clean the dishes, you can fold your clothes, you can, I don't know, watch something on your phone. Half an hour is a big chunk of your life at work. In half an hour you can do quite a bit. And, you know, that's... Report an error in the passage at 24:28 Highlight the passage at 24:28

25:01 And so when you look at the meditation, there's nothing small, nothing to kind of... I don't Report an error in the passage at 25:01 Highlight the passage at 25:01

25:19 know the word, but spending half an hour is actually a big chunk of your time. And spending half an hour doing something like this, experiencing something like this, is... Because nothing small is actually a big deal. And if you're doing this day in, day out for a few hours, then that's like a big part of your life. Report an error in the passage at 25:19 Highlight the passage at 25:19

25:48 And it's an experience where you're just sitting here and experiencing nothing. You just don't take it lightly. Sometimes I think as meditators we take it lightly because we're doing it all the time. It was like, yeah, half an hour, yeah, a couple of hours. But this experience that we're having now of just doing nothing, just being in the moment, has impact on our minds. Report an error in the passage at 25:48 Highlight the passage at 25:48

26:28 Just spending 15 minutes reading an article on something, that has an impact on your mind. And now they're having that... Report an error in the passage at 26:28 Highlight the passage at 26:28

26:46 social media ban for for kids under 16 because they can understand that these things like being on screens has an impact on the mind and Report an error in the passage at 26:46 Highlight the passage at 26:46

27:03 what we are doing here half an hour meditation that too has an impact on our mind and it can have a huge impact If you allow it to, just like the things in the world can impact our mind, so too can this. Report an error in the passage at 27:03 Highlight the passage at 27:03

27:34 And the way the world impacts you can impact you negatively. Obviously, it does in certain situations. Report an error in the passage at 27:34 Highlight the passage at 27:34

27:45 And with the meditation, what kind of impact do you think you can get? Report an error in the passage at 27:45 Highlight the passage at 27:45

28:00 What is the resulting impact of a meditation? Report an error in the passage at 28:00 Highlight the passage at 28:00

28:07 It could be peace, a sense of calm, a sense of contentment. So if we keep on doing these things, if we keep on meditating, then this is what we feel, this is what we experience, is a sense of contentment, a sense of peace. Report an error in the passage at 28:07 Highlight the passage at 28:07

· · · silence, 2 minutes

31:04 And if you've had... a good day or a good week or a good month where the things that you did the words that you spoke hasn't caused any heavy baggage in your mind then your mind is kind of free it's kind of light because it's been living a good life and because of that Report an error in the passage at 31:04 Highlight the passage at 31:04

31:48 The mind isn't too troubled when it meditates. You might have a few wandering thoughts, but the thoughts aren't sticky. They don't hang around and burden the mind or make it heavy. We can just experience it, whatever's happening in our minds for the likeness. Report an error in the passage at 31:48 Highlight the passage at 31:48

32:26 Sometimes we want perfection. You know meditation? Yeah, sometimes that happens. You might get perfectly still, or you might be perfectly watching the breath, or you may be perfectly spreading mettā to the four corners of the world. That's all very nice. But I think an important part to your experience is to have this lightness of mind. Report an error in the passage at 32:26 Highlight the passage at 32:26

33:13 you can just cruise through you can just just Report an error in the passage at 33:13 Highlight the passage at 33:13

33:23 go along with your meditation then Report an error in the passage at 33:23 Highlight the passage at 33:23

33:35 we kind of just trying to just feel that lightness just make it because if you feel the lightness there's no words concepts ideas really attached to when you feel something so you're just feeling And allow that to just guide you through the meditation. When Report an error in the passage at 33:35 Highlight the passage at 33:35

· · · silence, 5 minutes

39:21 you're meditating nicely, when your thoughts, they don't grab your attention, just Report an error in the passage at 39:21 Highlight the passage at 39:21

39:34 remember that. Your thoughts are not grabbing your attention. Sometimes that's the problem, is when we're meditating, we start to think. Report an error in the passage at 39:34 Highlight the passage at 39:34

39:52 And the thought grabs our attention, and before we know it, we're lost in the thinking. We're engaging in it. Report an error in the passage at 39:52 Highlight the passage at 39:52

40:13 We've been taken away by it. Report an error in the passage at 40:13 Highlight the passage at 40:13

40:19 As you meditate, you get to a point where the mind is not engaging in thinking. The thoughts just float around. They float around. Report an error in the passage at 40:19 Highlight the passage at 40:19

40:35 They kind of entice you. They kind of say, oh, come talk to me. Or, oh, think about something. But you kind of taught yourself through patience, through trying again, the art of leaving things alone. You can find that you're not troubled by anything. It's not perfect, but you're not troubled by anything. Report an error in the passage at 40:35 Highlight the passage at 40:35

41:19 And that's a good sign that you're meditating well. Report an error in the passage at 41:19 Highlight the passage at 41:19

· · · silence, 5 minutes

45:56 So if you notice, when you take away the craving, when you take away the ill will, that Report an error in the passage at 45:56 Highlight the passage at 45:56

46:16 gives you the ability to allow things to be. Isn't that so? When Report an error in the passage at 46:16 Highlight the passage at 46:16

46:32 you're craving, you can't allow things to be. When you're... Having your will, you're not allowing it to be. So, taking away those two you call hindrances, troublemakers. You can call them troublemakers because they are troublemakers. Your own troublemakers in your mind. Your will and craving. Never allowing anything to be. Report an error in the passage at 46:32 Highlight the passage at 46:32

47:16 That's one of the words that you hear all the time. What meditation teaches is to allow things to be. This is how we do it. This is one of the ways to do it. Report an error in the passage at 47:16 Highlight the passage at 47:16

47:35 Try to remove the craving. Try to remove the ill will. Report an error in the passage at 47:35 Highlight the passage at 47:35

· · · silence, 9 minutes

56:46 Going to end the meditation. And we'll Report an error in the passage at 56:46 Highlight the passage at 56:46

56:56 ring the gong. We'll come out. Any Report an error in the passage at 56:56 Highlight the passage at 56:56

· · · silence, 1 minute

57:50 comments, questions, complaints, jokes or whatever. It's time to speak up. Thomas? Oh, oh, comfortable. Yes. It's a lot more comfortable than just sitting on a hard plastic chair. Yeah, so thanks for that. Report an error in the passage at 57:50 Highlight the passage at 57:50

58:13 Yes, yes. Yeah, Report an error in the passage at 58:13 Highlight the passage at 58:13

58:20 yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it too. I think it's something about trying to keep things simple. Yeah. You don't need all the bells and whistles to meditate. Yeah. Well done, you know, meditation and stuff like that. You can do it in the forest. Yes, under a tree. That would be nice, wouldn't it? Okay, any comments, questions? No? No, no, no? Okay, we can finish. Report an error in the passage at 58:20 Highlight the passage at 58:20