Building a Good Culture

0:00 This is what should be done by one who is skilled in goodness and who knows the path of peace. Let them be able and upright straightforward and gentle in speech humble and not conceited contented and easily satisfied unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways. Peaceful and calm and wise and skillful, not proud and demanding in nature. Let them not do the slightest thing that the wise would later reprove. Report an error in the passage at 0:00 Highlight the passage at 0:00

0:38 Wishing in gladness and in safety, may all beings be happy. Whatever living beings there may be, whether they are weak or strong, omitting none, the great or the mighty, medium, short or small, the seen and the unseen, those living near and far away, those born and to be born, may all beings be happy. Report an error in the passage at 0:38 Highlight the passage at 0:38

1:06 Let none deceive another or despise any being in any state. Report an error in the passage at 1:06 Highlight the passage at 1:06

1:39 Outwards and unbounded, freed from hatred and ill will, whether standing or walking, seated or lying down, free from drowsiness, one should sustain this recollection. This is said to be the sublime abiding. By not holding to fixed views, a pure-hearted one, having clarity of vision, being freed from all sense desires, is not born again into Okay. Report an error in the passage at 1:39 Highlight the passage at 1:39

2:18 Well, one of the things that would be perhaps interesting to talk about is culture. Culture is something which happens everywhere. It's part of our everyday lives. And it occurs pretty much... But culture is really important from a Buddhist point of view to understand how it formed, how it created, that it's a constantly changing phenomena, that it's conditionally arisen. Report an error in the passage at 2:18 Highlight the passage at 2:18

2:50 It is what we make it, in other words. But what's special about culture as large is we can see when there's positive sides to it and negative sides of it. It's not about building a utopia of course, but it's about seeing how all this came to be. Because once we can recognise the culture as it is, and we can understand the history of how we've arrived at this place, all of a sudden it's no longer a mystery. Report an error in the passage at 2:50 Highlight the passage at 2:50

3:21 And a lot of the trouble disappears from that. It might not be a pretty picture, but at least we can understand how we got here. And that allows us then to move forward. How can we now live? In such a complicated world, in such a chaotic world, we can start to make better informed decisions. But most importantly in understanding culture externally, we can start to understand culture internally. Report an error in the passage at 3:21 Highlight the passage at 3:21

3:50 We can understand how our mind came to be as such, our character, our qualities, our strengths, our weaknesses. And all that comes very useful in meditation. What is a culture we're creating? In meditation, when we close our eyes, a lot of the time we just sit there and just expect meditation kind of thing to happen. But a lot of the time it's setting a beautiful foundation, setting a beautiful culture in our heart and our heads to be able to let meditation to happen, to be able to delight in the present moment and be free in the present moment. Report an error in the passage at 3:50 Highlight the passage at 3:50

4:32 And this is a very, very major point of the Buddhist practice. Something we really don't talk about very often or consider very often. A lot of the time we kind of think that it's more a sort of exotic or esoteric kind of state of mind that we have to find insight into. But actually it's insight into our everyday life. It's about insight into just our ordinariness. Report an error in the passage at 4:32 Highlight the passage at 4:32

5:00 Just being here. What is it like just to be here? Because this is where it gets tricky. We often think about the first noble truth, the four noble truths as large, as being intense suffering and intense craving and all this kind of stuff. But no, it's all to do about our everyday life. Report an error in the passage at 5:00 Highlight the passage at 5:00

5:20 It's about our everyday sensory experiences. So just to see tires the eyes out, to hear tires the ears, to taste, to smell, to feel is tiring to the body. It's uncomfortable in a lot of cases. Report an error in the passage at 5:20 Highlight the passage at 5:20

6:01 understand through mindfulness, through basic insight practice and everything else. How our mind and body interact and how our mind and body interact with the world. What kind of culture are we creating in response to this? Report an error in the passage at 6:01 Highlight the passage at 6:01

6:16 Because by and large, we're all looking for a sense of respite, a sense of rest. And that comes sometimes intense from, you know, we just want things to go away and we just, or we just want to rest our eyes for a few minutes and get some peace and quiet that way to recover from ordinary life. Report an error in the passage at 6:16 Highlight the passage at 6:16

6:38 And this movement all the time creates so much dissatisfaction because we can never be still. We can never enjoy the present moment. It's constantly creating all this energy that needs to resolve itself. Report an error in the passage at 6:38 Highlight the passage at 6:38

6:53 And yet it didn't necessarily need to do that. And apart from respite, we want uplift. We want pleasure. We want comfort. We want happiness. And again, we're looking for this all the time. And then we're also looking for The freedom as such. You know, we're constantly getting lost in ideas and beliefs and everything else to try and make sense, to try and get certainty and security and a direction in life. Report an error in the passage at 6:53 Highlight the passage at 6:53

7:25 And yet too, this is very, very useful, very, very important. But it all becomes a cultural implication that becomes quite important. And the issue is, even if we make utopia, even if we make life perfect, even if... We spend all our time having wonderful meditation and joy and all that wonderful stuff. The real world keeps coming through. There's no barrier to prevent the real world coming through. Report an error in the passage at 7:25 Highlight the passage at 7:25

7:53 There's no way to prevent it. All the stuff in the First Noble Truth, it's always been there. So no matter what we do, no matter how perfect we make things, life will still be what it is. And that's okay. Report an error in the passage at 7:53 Highlight the passage at 7:53

8:12 It's all about changing our perception, how we relate to the world, how we relate internally, the culture we create inside. It's all about how we move forward. See, the ancient Greeks in their philosophy were talking about eudaimonia. And this basically means the happiness which lasts, the unchanging happiness, so to speak. And in their model, it's built on virtue. Report an error in the passage at 8:12 Highlight the passage at 8:12

8:43 The lasting happiness that is built on virtue. And a large part of the ancient philosophy is debating what virtue is. Which, of course, you know, Socrates is a great example of this, but so is Plato and Aristotle and all the others, spent an awful lot of time debating exactly what virtue is. And yet from a Buddhist point of view, we have something very similar but from a different perspective. So we accept lasting happiness does come from virtue. Report an error in the passage at 8:43 Highlight the passage at 8:43

9:12 This is why we have The precepts, this is why we have good karma, this is why we have all these practices to make life meaningful, to make life beautiful. Not for the sake of perfection, because the real world is still going to come through. The real world is still going to be as it is. None of us are getting any younger. But at the same time, the question is different. Report an error in the passage at 9:12 Highlight the passage at 9:12

9:37 So the focus then comes not on what is virtue, but what is this thing we're trying to... What is this self, this soul that we're trying to liberate? It becomes a different question, but has a very, very different answer because it takes us in a very different direction. Report an error in the passage at 9:37 Highlight the passage at 9:37

9:57 Because at the heart of the issue is our everyday life, is just how to be happy in this present moment. Because when we don't do these things, we suffer even more. It becomes unbearable a lot of the time. And yet the solution was still there. So it's not essentially doing all these things to be a wonderful Buddhist and be perfectly, you know, a good human being. Report an error in the passage at 9:57 Highlight the passage at 9:57

10:25 It's more to give life meaning, to make life beautiful, to build a good life, but also to build a good culture inside, to build a good relationship with ourselves, to bring the heart and the head together because there's a reconciliation problem. Report an error in the passage at 10:25 Highlight the passage at 10:25

11:08 about this is knowing how to bring all this together is that when we're trying to create a a perfect world where we're safe where we're protected where we'll never have to experience any unhappiness or dissatisfaction or suffering or anything we will never accomplish this the real world will keep on coming through there's no barrier that will ever accomplish this and of course if there was we'd all be doing it there'd be no reason for us to be in robes or to be here meditating there'd be no point Because we could accomplish our own happiness and our own safety. We would never have to rely on any of this stuff. And yet, here we are. Report an error in the passage at 11:08 Highlight the passage at 11:08

11:53 Because we know deep down that the real world keeps coming through. Because we're not separate from the real world. We're not separate from the rest of reality or the rest of the universe. And in many ways, it's a beautiful thing. It's what makes us human. It's what makes us more alive. Report an error in the passage at 11:53 Highlight the passage at 11:53

12:14 of something much, much bigger in terms of life as a whole, but not just stuck in our small little thought bubbles of this I, me, mine. We can step outside of this. We created all this just to navigate the world. And that's perfectly fine. That's perfectly good. And yet the real world still comes through. Perhaps the reason we're so unsatisfied is is that we set this identity. Report an error in the passage at 12:14 Highlight the passage at 12:14

12:41 identity, this ego identity to keep Keep us safe, and yet it will never accomplish this. Perhaps we were asking the wrong question. How do we be happy? Report an error in the passage at 12:41 Highlight the passage at 12:41

12:55 But is that the question we're really asking? Who knows? See, that's the thing. What is it, the culture that we have created inside, what is it we're really looking for? Report an error in the passage at 12:55 Highlight the passage at 12:55

13:08 Are we really looking for a meaningful life that we can be okay with? The trauma, the stress, the chaos, all the stuff that happens in the world, as well as all the beautiful stuff, the joy, the generosity, the giving, the community, the friendship, all the love and everything else that's so wonderful in the world. Report an error in the passage at 13:08 Highlight the passage at 13:08

13:34 Can we be open to that as well? It's a very big question. Many of us in response to the chaos, we block this stuff out because it becomes too painful. We're dealing with such extremes in today's world, it becomes unbearable. And yet realistically, we've kind of created a paradigm, a culture inside of us which creates our own unhappiness. Report an error in the passage at 13:34 Highlight the passage at 13:34

14:00 Everybody wants to be happy and we're running into the very things that will make us miserable. And the beauty of understanding how these things are dependently arisen allows us to see that we can change our culture. In here and in here, we can change our mind. We can bring in more beautiful qualities, fully knowing that it's not going to make the world perfect, fully knowing it's not going to make utopia, fully knowing that it won't make us a happy ever after. Report an error in the passage at 14:00 Highlight the passage at 14:00

14:34 But who cares? It was never going to be perfect, so we don't have to make it be perfect. That's the beauty of it. We can be free in this in accepting the hardship. And accepting the beautiful at the same time is not being afraid of what happens because it all ends up okay. Report an error in the passage at 14:34 Highlight the passage at 14:34

15:01 And deep, deep down, we realize that all is forgiven. We spent our entire lives running around trying to get this, trying to get that, trying to fix the problem, trying to fix the world, trying to create that firewall so everything stays at a distance. And yet because it was unnecessary, we realize that all was forgiven. Report an error in the passage at 15:01 Highlight the passage at 15:01

15:23 We never needed to fix the world. The world was perfectly fine as it was. And the same for us. We're perfectly fine as we are. It's more a matter of connecting to what is more beautiful. And this is where wisdom and compassion comes in because it is rational to live a good life and it is compassionate to live a good life and it is irrational to live a self-suffering life and it is certainly not compassionate to live a suffering life. Report an error in the passage at 15:23 Highlight the passage at 15:23

15:54 So it becomes more a matter of making these informed choices, being mindful and delighting in the ordinariness because that's the thing that terrifies most people is this ordinariness. We're constantly trying to get away from it, trying to spice life up, trying to make things more intense and alive. That's why we like spicy food and loud music and intense experiences, skydiving and bungee jumping and all these. Report an error in the passage at 15:54 Highlight the passage at 15:54

16:23 these things that people want intense experiences for and yet the problem is all they really do is take us further away from the solution they just make us more miserable they give us a rush of energy and a thrill and a moment of happiness and then comes the hollowness we feel more empty afterwards but how can that be right if these things are supposed to make us happy as the advertisers tell us they will Report an error in the passage at 16:23 Highlight the passage at 16:23

16:59 work and that's the thing it's all coming down to understanding not only how the world is but how we can make the best of it how we can live life in a quality way where it doesn't matter whether it's perfect or imperfect because that's that's the thing if it's so Wonderful and everything else. It would be so artificial. Report an error in the passage at 16:59 Highlight the passage at 16:59

17:26 It would be so in almost demeaning because we would lose the opportunity to be challenged, to grow in difficult circumstances, to really see our own strengths, to see how creative we can be in difficult scenarios and to find joy and happiness and things which sometimes seem so joyless and so depressing because that's the thing. Report an error in the passage at 17:26 Highlight the passage at 17:26

17:53 All the stuff in the First Noble Truth wasn't really the problem. It's always going to come through. It's always going to be there. This is just what it is to be alive. This is what it is to be human. But the problem is we have an internal conflict that's trying to make us go in a different direction, to try and have something different, to make it be something different. Report an error in the passage at 17:53 Highlight the passage at 17:53

18:17 And yet we will never accomplish this. And that's okay. It's coming to terms with the fact that that's okay. Because the second noble truth is basically that all this unhappiness, this dissatisfaction, this suffering is because it's not okay for us. Because we're constantly trying to make it be something else. We're trying to make it, we're trying to fight it. We're trying, you know, have all these wants and desires and cravings for it to be different. Report an error in the passage at 18:17 Highlight the passage at 18:17

18:48 And if we can't have those, we lose ourselves in distractions and desires and fantasies and in some cases nightmares. Ajahn this fortress that we can feel safe in. Report an error in the passage at 18:48 Highlight the passage at 18:48

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20:01 jewellery and technology and whatever's it's never ending. It's just the same stuff over and over and over. And that's where it gets interesting. We never needed all this stuff. Why are we so afraid of the present moment? Why are we trying to be in the present moment when there's nowhere else to be but the present moment? Report an error in the passage at 20:01 Highlight the passage at 20:01

20:28 What is our relationship to it? What is the culture we have in here in relationship to the present moment? Because this is where it gets subtle. It's a bit like a soup pot. This is a metaphor I've been using for many years. It's kind of a work in progress, but what to do. When we have our soup pot, we can see the ingredients inside it. Maybe there's a lump of pasta. Report an error in the passage at 20:28 Highlight the passage at 20:28

20:54 Maybe there's a lump of vegetable or something. We can see what these things are. And that's fine. We know what they are. We can recognize them. Sometimes there's ingredients in that soup pot. Which we can't see because they've dissolved into it. But we can taste them. We know they're there. We can smell them. Report an error in the passage at 20:54 Highlight the passage at 20:54

21:15 And that's sort of the interesting thing. What is it we're putting into this soup pot? Because sometimes we might be looking at our soup pot going, wow, this is so beautiful, so wonderful. It looks so good and tasty. And we're there drinking this soup and going, but it's got this strange bitter almond aftertaste. Maybe that's just a regional delicacy and I should have some more. Report an error in the passage at 21:15 Highlight the passage at 21:15

21:36 And it's like, no, we shouldn't. The bitter almond taste is poison. And that's the thing. We're drinking this culture. We're imbibing it. We're consuming it mindlessly. And it might be killing us. It might look really good and really attractive. And yet it's based on an unattainable fantasy that we just need to have this car or this product and then everything will be fine. Report an error in the passage at 21:36 Highlight the passage at 21:36

22:05 But of course it won't. What is it that we're putting in? Why are we chasing after the things? that are just going to make us miserable, that are going to keep us looking for the next thing, hoping that it's going to make us happy. And when we come into our meditation, what is the culture we're creating there? Report an error in the passage at 22:05 Highlight the passage at 22:05

22:27 What is the soup pot of our mind, basically? What's in it? You sit down to meditate. Is there happiness? Is there joy? Is there a sense of, I've done good in my life today? The sense of... Looking forward to meditating, the sense of ease, because all those things are a basic part of the practice, is developing these beautiful qualities because they enrich our lives and they enrich our meditation. Report an error in the passage at 22:27 Highlight the passage at 22:27

22:58 We're no longer having to create happiness in our meditation because it's already there. The moment we try and manufacture this stuff, it becomes a bit artificial. And yet when we connect to that happiness that's already inside of us, Report an error in the passage at 22:58 Highlight the passage at 22:58

23:17 Then it becomes beautiful, effortless, enriching. It never ends. And that's something that we just can't buy. That's just something we can't create. But it's there for all of us. It is what we make it. And that's the beauty of the whole practice. That's how it all kind of comes together. From starting to live a good life, the precepts, generosity, good karma. And these things don't have to be Big expensive gestures, just spending time with a loved one, just visiting your neighbour or whatever. And other basic rituals which make us happy as well, going for a nice walk in the park or spending time looking at the sunrise or the sunset or spending time in nature. Report an error in the passage at 23:17 Highlight the passage at 23:17

24:12 Same thing. It helps us connect back to the present moment and find that joy and beauty again. And then the more we see it around us, Report an error in the passage at 24:12 Highlight the passage at 24:12

24:23 it to be in here, because it was already in there. There's no separation as such from us and the rest of the world. So, why did we think that joy and happiness were separate to us? Why did we think that loving-kindness and compassion and all these other beautiful qualities were separate from us? At the beginning, for sure, we have to practice these things because we're not so familiar with them. So we have to try to... Report an error in the passage at 24:23 Highlight the passage at 24:23

24:51 Have loving kindness for ourselves. We have to try to have loving kindness for our loved ones and our acquaintances and those who drive us crazy. That's part of the practice. That's part of the training. But eventually we see actually that love has always been there and it wants to express. It wants to come out. Report an error in the passage at 24:51 Highlight the passage at 24:51

25:13 The heart is longing to let this stuff go and be free. So we connect to that instead. Report an error in the passage at 25:13 Highlight the passage at 25:13

25:23 We start our meditation connecting to that, this present moment, and allowing that joy, that freedom, to come out, to grow, and to share, to spread. May all beings be happy. Report an error in the passage at 25:23 Highlight the passage at 25:23

25:42 It was always there. And that's the thing. Realizing it was always there, even though no matter what happens, we can always reconnect to it. But at the beginning, we have to practice this stuff. in order to find that it was always there. That's a lot of what building this good culture inside of ourselves is really all about. Building that happiness. Report an error in the passage at 25:42 Highlight the passage at 25:42

26:11 Building a good life, a good relationship with ourselves. And that trust. The trust of discovering that we're a lot stronger than we thought we were. That we had more skills in life than we thought we did. That we were able to navigate things which seemed so unbearable. And yet really we were able to do that. And that trust is really strengthening. And fortunately life throws us enough challenges anyway. Report an error in the passage at 26:11 Highlight the passage at 26:11

26:41 We don't have to go looking for them. So another level that the practice becomes easy. We don't have to try and look for trouble to challenge ourselves. Life's challenging more than enough. And that's fine too. It's all an opportunity. It's all an opportunity to make it beautiful. Report an error in the passage at 26:41 Highlight the passage at 26:41

27:03 Not for the sake of some abstract perfection of beauty kind of thing, some aesthetic, some cold and distant thing, but just the fact that it's wise and compassionate to do so. There's no other reason for it. There's no separation. The real world isn't gonna go away, but we can change the cultural relationship we have to it and to each other. Report an error in the passage at 27:03 Highlight the passage at 27:03

27:34 So, as Report an error in the passage at 27:34 Highlight the passage at 27:34

27:42 usual, everyone... Please stand up, give yourself a bit of a stretch, adjust your clothes if you need to, adjust a cushion, adjust a chair, and do all the things you need to do. Report an error in the passage at 27:42 Highlight the passage at 27:42

28:09 Okay, and when we're ready, we can settle into our chair, close our eyes, and see what happens. Report an error in the passage at 28:09 Highlight the passage at 28:09

28:35 And just be present with this body and mind. How does it feel? Report an error in the passage at 28:35 Highlight the passage at 28:35

28:45 What is our relationship to this present moment? Report an error in the passage at 28:45 Highlight the passage at 28:45

28:51 And what is it that we can give the present moment? Report an error in the passage at 28:51 Highlight the passage at 28:51

29:22 At the beginning, things can seem all jumbled up and out of order, and that's okay. It's just about settling in, relaxing the body, and relaxing the mind. Report an error in the passage at 29:22 Highlight the passage at 29:22

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30:15 Perfectly fine to readjust the body as you need it. For the first few minutes, the joints will relax or change shape. So Report an error in the passage at 30:15 Highlight the passage at 30:15

30:29 change shape with it. Report an error in the passage at 30:29 Highlight the passage at 30:29

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32:27 And as we're settling in, use your breathing, all the sensations, all the emotions. Anything that comes up, use those to spread happiness, comfort, and rest in this moment. So Report an error in the passage at 32:27 Highlight the passage at 32:27

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34:53 what is it that your mind turns towards? Is Report an error in the passage at 34:53 Highlight the passage at 34:53

35:01 your mind trying to escape into thoughts and fantasies and feelings? If Report an error in the passage at 35:01 Highlight the passage at 35:01

35:16 it is, that's okay. But we turn it back to looking at what it's trying to run away from and to be compassionate to that. Report an error in the passage at 35:16 Highlight the passage at 35:16

35:34 To try and relax and soothe, to be a friend to what we're trying to run away from. In Report an error in the passage at 35:34 Highlight the passage at 35:34

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55:46 these last few minutes, Report an error in the passage at 55:46 Highlight the passage at 55:46

55:51 let's ask how we can create a beautiful culture within ourselves, in our hearts and our heads, to Report an error in the passage at 55:51 Highlight the passage at 55:51

56:07 be open to these beautiful qualities, to connect with happiness and joy and compassion, and Report an error in the passage at 56:07 Highlight the passage at 56:07

56:23 to delight in them. How can Report an error in the passage at 56:23 Highlight the passage at 56:23

56:35 we create a better culture inside ourselves? To be free, to Report an error in the passage at 56:35 Highlight the passage at 56:35

56:46 be free from fear, free from regret, free from sorrow, and Report an error in the passage at 56:46 Highlight the passage at 56:46

57:01 free from aversion and hatred. What Report an error in the passage at 57:01 Highlight the passage at 57:01

57:20 is it that we can give ourselves to create a good life? And Report an error in the passage at 57:20 Highlight the passage at 57:20

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58:28 as always, Report an error in the passage at 58:28 Highlight the passage at 58:28

58:45 if anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask. Report an error in the passage at 58:45 Highlight the passage at 58:45

59:11 It's half of this question, but I like to report on my practice. it's not really report but to share my practice to you and when you come um so one thing i was doing recently is like i like every day i write down what i appreciate myself and then what i appreciate other people and then i think it helps me it helps it it helps me in a way that um like i i I'm not that I'm not so self-critical in a way to improve a bit but sometimes I feel like it's like I have very hard time I still have like very hard time when shame come up and I think it happens a lot especially when I don't know how to describe it, but it's like the kind of feeling like I want to put my hand into my stomach and pull those organs out. Report an error in the passage at 59:11 Highlight the passage at 59:11

1:00:38 Like it's that kind of feeling and it's very uncomfortable in a way. I think when the feelings come up I have a hard time like being kind to myself and stuff and I just wonder like if there is any like Report an error in the passage at 1:00:38 Highlight the passage at 1:00:38

1:01:06 anything I can not really I don't know anything that I can incline more towards like it's a hard emotion to accept. But in a way that I can accept the feeling more and being kinder to myself when it happens. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:06 Highlight the passage at 1:01:06

1:01:33 There's quite a lot of really interesting things there. One of the things that this is often tied to is more of an instinct, that there's sort of an image that we have created of either what we think we should be or what we want to be or sometimes what we're told that we should be. And when we feel that we can't accomplish that, or the words just come out of our mouths, or thoughts just pop into our heads, which contradict that image, there's conflict, there's tension, this make it go away kind of thing. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:33 Highlight the passage at 1:01:33

1:02:08 And very often that is felt in the stomach. Very often that's felt also in the chest area, this tension. And what's very interesting is to actually study this physical sensation. Because a lot of the emotions that arise is in response to the physical sensation. So a lot of time we have this image, then the physical response, and then the response to the physical response. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:08 Highlight the passage at 1:02:08

1:02:34 And that can actually entrap us. So this feeling of tightness and tension and feeling of inner disharmony, so to speak, because we can't step out of it, it kind of perpetuates and grows and festers and it sort of... Report an error in the passage at 1:02:34 Highlight the passage at 1:02:34

1:03:18 This is one of the remarkable things that I point out to a lot of people when they start meditating and they're just thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, and it just does not go away. Well, maybe it's not the thoughts that are the problem. Maybe you've just got a crick in your shoulder. Maybe it's an ache in your knee or something else and you just adjust the posture a bit and whoosh, it just disappears. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:18 Highlight the passage at 1:03:18

1:03:41 So a lot of this... is actually seeing how the sensation is locking us into a habit pattern, locking us into feeling imprisoned and that we can't see any way forward. So is there kind of a fear response or an anxiety that arises whenever the sensation occurs? You mean, is it like a response to anxiety? Mm-hmm. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:41 Highlight the passage at 1:03:41

1:04:07 I think it's more like, I think it's more like insecurity in general. Mm-hmm. it's like it's that sort of feeling like it's that sort of feeling i want to disappear somewhere and then it's yeah and then when that happens i can feel that in my stomach and then but Report an error in the passage at 1:04:07 Highlight the passage at 1:04:07

1:04:36 like i cannot really really relax it as well i have hard time doing i have hard time doing that i think I think I usually have lots of tension in my stomach, and it's not something that I can relax it, if that makes any sense. Like, I try to do it. It's not really do it, but like in meditation and in stuff, and whenever I go into it, my body will resist. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:36 Highlight the passage at 1:04:36

1:05:15 Sort of like, if I try to... Like if I it's like if there is a force that preventing me to go into that and then because this is not really exactly related but I tried to go to hypnotherapy like a while ago and then but that also like does not work because my body is like trying to resist in any way every way possible. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:15 Highlight the passage at 1:05:15

1:05:50 And this is actually very consistent is that a lot of the times we get these sensations that come up and they occur in different parts of the body for different people but the moment that sensation starts to rise that resistance kicks in and that resistance is really fascinating to study because it's that resistance that kind of locks us in to that experience. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:50 Highlight the passage at 1:05:50

1:06:15 So the resistance is making the tension worse. It can prolong it. It can keep it going there. So it's kind of like we have a feeling that we want to disappear. The habitual response to, the instinctive response to that is this tension in the tummy. And then the resistance to that tension, what does that do? Does it make it worse? Report an error in the passage at 1:06:15 Highlight the passage at 1:06:15

1:06:46 It's a question of is there... Yeah, maybe, you know, I'm not sure about this. I need to study it. Yeah. It's fascinating to watch the sequence as it arises, because a lot of the time it's a very kind of repetitive pattern. For example, if this feeling arises again, would it arise somewhere other than the stomach? Report an error in the passage at 1:06:46 Highlight the passage at 1:06:46

1:07:11 Usually it's in the stomach. Yeah. It's in the stomach. And that's the thing, when those things are connected. We can kind of see how the sequence plays out and a lot of the time this also leads for people who have say panic attacks there's usually this impulse that starts and it just grows and grows and grows and grows and then it just collapses into strong anxiety or real horrible feelings and a lot of the time it's being trapped in those physical sensations that is kind of making it worse. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:11 Highlight the passage at 1:07:11

1:07:45 And so a lot of the times, even if we can't say physically relax it or mentally relax it, a lot of the time the most effective thing is just to say go for a walk and to remove ourself from sort of the space in which that happens. But a lot of it always comes down to also questioning this image that we have of ourselves. Why is it that we feel, you know, is it say words just come out of our mouth and you feel embarrassed or... Report an error in the passage at 1:07:45 Highlight the passage at 1:07:45

1:08:15 It's right. It's questioning sort of this measurement we have of what we think we should be and sort of saying, is it rational to hold on to that? Is it compassionate to hold on to that? So a lot of the time it's challenging the impulse itself and investigating that as well as looking at the sequences arises. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:15 Highlight the passage at 1:08:15

1:08:38 So it's generally a slow. process but there's lots of little wins in there and when you start to feel ah there it is there's this pattern this is how it sort of evolves into a sequence and you can slow it down and shall we say play with it a bit and even though in your when you're in a challenging situation when there's people you don't really have time to do that but there's times that you can go back to your room or to a quiet place and experiment with it that way And to see if there's another way that we can redirect that energy, but at the same time to adjust the original concept of ourselves to something that's more okay with, you know, this mind and this body not behaving, this mind and body not listening to us and saying sometimes crazy stuff. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:38 Highlight the passage at 1:08:38

1:09:32 It's like, where did this come from? And being okay with that and to laugh at it. And that's one of the big things, is to laugh at how crazy it all is. Okay. Thank you so much. No problem. Hope it helps. It helps a lot. I will share with you again if you come again. Hopefully. They haven't sacked me yet. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:32 Highlight the passage at 1:09:32

1:10:02 Okay. So we have two people raising their hands. So maybe Muditā. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:02 Highlight the passage at 1:10:02

1:10:12 Of course. Thank you, Ajahn. Thanks for the talk. I had a question on, I've been learning meditation through Ajahn Brahm's book. I've been doing it for a year and a half now. I was just at a question about this, his chapter on the beautiful breath on the 16 steps. And so when it comes to my experience, when I do it and, you know, sometimes you follow the breath naturally. And at one point there's like these early Report an error in the passage at 1:10:12 Highlight the passage at 1:10:12

1:10:47 but then later like there's a lot of like joy happiness and maybe even like physical sensations and sometimes they take over and I lose the breath and I was wondering at that time when those physical or the happiness joy sensations take over Report an error in the passage at 1:10:47 Highlight the passage at 1:10:47

1:11:08 at what point do you know like when to let the breath go and when when to get back to the breath because i've been getting stuck between sometimes going back and forth and i tried the letting go part but sometimes it just keeps going back and forth and then getting into the dull state kind of thing thank you no problem the dullness is really interesting because a lot of the time when we have this joy it's a huge amount of energy And it's beautiful. But the problem is we're kind of like a light bulb that's getting a very dim wattage. We're not quite used to having all this joy come up and all this energy. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:08 Highlight the passage at 1:11:08

1:11:50 So what we then do is we're then tired afterwards. So it's kind of like at the moment we're only used to getting a small amount of it. So what the goal is as such is to expand the culture to be able to embrace it more. And to allow it to grow more and be more spacious and open. And the beautiful breath as such arises naturally when there's just delight in being here. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:50 Highlight the passage at 1:11:50

1:12:16 When you don't want to be anywhere else in the world. When just being with the breath is the most beautiful thing. It becomes beautiful. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:16 Highlight the passage at 1:12:16

1:12:25 And that's sort of the thing. A lot of people kind of, they're trying to make the breath be beautiful, they're waiting for it to be beautiful, and it doesn't quite work that way because we're trying to manufacture it and there's sort of an inner resistance to that because we're interfering all the time and so it's not allowing to evolve naturally. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:25 Highlight the passage at 1:12:25

1:12:46 But a lot of the process to be able to let it go deeper is almost like a kind of self-respect, this kind of respect for The happiness, the ease, how much joy it is just to let this stuff go just for a little while and just to be present and to trust in that. And that trust is really, really useful because then we feel comfortable with the happiness, with this largeness, because the expansion of the mind, so to speak, is unfamiliar to us. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:46 Highlight the passage at 1:12:46

1:13:20 If we're used to this, you know, ego world that we... you know this is how we navigate the world it's all familiar and now all of a sudden that's just softly fading away and it's kind of this more amorphous space we're just not familiar with and it's dull and how do we navigate that that's perfectly fine it's more okay now we have this larger open space how do we fill it with something beautiful so Report an error in the passage at 1:13:20 Highlight the passage at 1:13:20

1:13:49 when those sensations arise those emotions arise maybe it wants to go in that direction So instead of following the breath, maybe it wants you to practice mettā or compassion or joy. Maybe it's asking you for something else. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:49 Highlight the passage at 1:13:49

1:14:07 And that's the thing. In that mindfulness, we can see that the mind and body are interacting as such, as they're sending us a message. This is what we need to do to move forward. But if we keep fixating, say, on the breath or trying to make it be in a certain sequence, a certain recipe, it kind of It doesn't really work that well for us, but the mind also kind of eventually sort of says, oh, we shouldn't even bother because we're just trying to do the same thing over and over and over. And it kind of loses hope in a way. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:07 Highlight the passage at 1:14:07

1:14:40 So in a sense, to let it go deeper and evolve naturally is to be present with it, to be open to what it's asking of us, and to share in the experience. So I hope that helps a bit. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:40 Highlight the passage at 1:14:40

1:15:03 Okay. Sky, do you want to say something? I'll just say great to see you, Ajahn Sampa. Always lovely. Thank you for a nice talk. That was really beautiful. I had a question. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:03 Highlight the passage at 1:15:03

1:15:23 We practice mettā, we practice breathing, we practice content, we practice dhana. How do you actually practice equanimity? Report an error in the passage at 1:15:23 Highlight the passage at 1:15:23

1:15:36 Equanimity is an interesting one because a lot of people, they kind of, equanimity is a bit of a problematic word in itself because it's kind of implying that we are being equanimous to life. So we're trying to create this experience where everything's okay, where realistically that's actually, that's artificial. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:36 Highlight the passage at 1:15:36

1:16:01 And that's the thing, isn't it? When we try and create these feelings, they're not really true. Whereas the, right, equanimity is such, the upeka is kind of, I mean, I often describe it as a heart that can contain the entire universe. So it's being okay with everything that comes and being open to everything as it is. So... Report an error in the passage at 1:16:01 Highlight the passage at 1:16:01

1:16:31 Yeah, it's a state that we don't need to create. It's realizing that's all okay. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:31 Highlight the passage at 1:16:31

1:16:40 And so equanimity unfortunately has sometimes been presented as this kind of endurance, this kind of boot camp style, you know, be tough and just bear with it and be a good little soldier and all the rest of it. And it's kind of, yeah, well, good luck with that. It's not going to work. Because it's doomed to fail from the beginning. One of the interesting things is basically the moment that we try and have a relationship with something, it's a dualistic position. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:40 Highlight the passage at 1:16:40

1:17:17 Because it's me trying to have a relationship with something other. And yet in these deeper states, this sense of self disappears. The sense of other disappears. But if we're still trying to create a relationship within that, We're reasserting those dualities again. So when everything's okay, there's no need to try and have a relationship because it's all okay on its own. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:17 Highlight the passage at 1:17:17

1:17:44 There's no separation. And in that, it's very freeing and very... It's sort of understanding that it's all okay. It doesn't matter what happens. Thoughts come, thoughts go. Emotions come, emotions go. We spent enough time meditating that... we've seen all thoughts and feelings are pretty much all the same whether they're happy or sad or beautiful or ugly or you know enticing or scary they're all thoughts and feelings it's just more Report an error in the passage at 1:17:44 Highlight the passage at 1:17:44

1:18:22 So there's the kind of ease that it really doesn't matter what pops into your head. It's all okay. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:22 Highlight the passage at 1:18:22

1:18:33 I just had a wonder, that was beautiful, that I just had an image of being one with the universe, like in a bubble almost, but like just a small imagination of it, and that whatever it is that makes me uncomfortable with the situation, I can see me rebounding off the outside of the perimeter of the universe. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:33 Highlight the passage at 1:18:33

1:19:01 and having to come back to the situation so i see these little pokey holes going trying to because i have so much energy and i have i mean it's unending and i have so much creatives like curiosity i can't contain myself i have sensory overload quite often and so when things are not appearing to be okay i stopped bouncing so i i like that so he's really like even Ajahn Sona says this i think in the questions from sunday about when you're gonna get it we're just all one you know everything's okay but it's also quite a mess you know like um it's the way it is i don't know we got all the Ajahn's in that one One answer. But yeah, that was a great answer. Thank you so much. I will work on my equanimity and being a heart that can connect to the universe. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:01 Highlight the passage at 1:19:01

1:20:18 Thank you. Great. Thank you. We Report an error in the passage at 1:20:18 Highlight the passage at 1:20:18

1:20:35 received a question from the chat. It says, lately I have been procrastinating on tidying up in my AC room. Now I feel upset with myself. Any tips? Report an error in the passage at 1:20:35 Highlight the passage at 1:20:35

1:20:55 There's a lot that can be put in that actually because a lot of the time the outside of our environment is a reflection of the inside. So when our mind is a mess or it's conflicted or it's frustrated, it has no interest in creating a beautiful, clean environment. And unfortunately, it's very prevalent in society that when we suffer terribly, we can't bear to see beauty and happiness in the world, so we destroy it. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:55 Highlight the passage at 1:20:55

1:21:31 So that's more an extreme case that how we can't bear other people to be happy, so we... We can't bear ourselves to be happy in the same way. But with the environment around us, keeping it clean and tidy is connected basically to how clean and tidy we feel inside. When we have a joy in our environment, just have everything clean and tidy and simple, it's because we're far more simple and at ease inside ourselves. And so that resistance to having things more simple when it's full of clutter and mess, really what are we resisting? Report an error in the passage at 1:21:31 Highlight the passage at 1:21:31

1:22:13 What is this a reflection of? A lot of the Zen traditions, for example, spend an awful lot of time cleaning everything up. And there's actually a lot in that. To not make everything perfect, but to keep everything clean, our mind automatically responds to that. It's like when we walk into a beautiful scene, we instantly feel transcendent in a way. And so we're in a clean environment, the same thing. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:13 Highlight the passage at 1:22:13

1:23:11 One of the simplest ways of looking at it is because the outside is often a reflection of the inside. What is the inside like? Is there a mess inside that you don't want to clean up? Report an error in the passage at 1:23:11 Highlight the passage at 1:23:11

1:23:25 Procrastinating there, trying to avoid having to deal with our own stuff can often be sort of projected externally that we don't want to deal with all this stuff, all the mess around us. So it's a very good question. But perhaps more can be asked on it to make it more specific. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:25 Highlight the passage at 1:23:25

1:23:52 So if there's any other questions? Yes, there is one more question. I've lost my brother four weeks ago and I'm having trouble dealing with this huge loss. The best way to deal with, she wants to ask for the best way to deal with the grief when it becomes unbearable. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:52 Highlight the passage at 1:23:52

1:24:21 Generally, a lot of the pain that comes from losing someone, sometimes it's because we love them, but sometimes because they're part of who we are. So when they die, it's as if part of us has died as well. So we might not only be grieving that they're no longer in our lives, but also because we've lost something internally as well. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:21 Highlight the passage at 1:24:21

1:24:47 And in that kind of situation, It's very useful to check this. If that's the case, then we can reflect more on the beautiful times that we had together, the beautiful times you had with your brother, all the qualities he had, the good and the bad, and the things that we can laugh about, all the little quirks and all the little mementos inside us that can actually mean that they're still with us. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:47 Highlight the passage at 1:24:47

1:25:17 They're still part of us. Because the fact that they're no longer physically there, we feel disconnected again, as if something has been taken away from us. And in a sense, of course, they've passed away. But internally, we still have so much. They've so much quality time that you would have had together. And it's remembering all those things means that you haven't really lost as much. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:17 Highlight the passage at 1:25:17

1:25:46 Because grief... is so painful because it feels as if what is beautiful and what is happiness can never happen again, as if happiness itself has died, and happiness itself has been buried in a wooden box or cremated and so on, and we can never have it again. And that's why it's so important to reconnect, to rediscover that happiness, that joy, the compassion. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:46 Highlight the passage at 1:25:46

1:26:16 All those beautiful qualities are still there and to refine them. And we can do that very easily by remembering all the good times that you had with your brother, all the things that made you miss him so much. Are those qualities in you too? Report an error in the passage at 1:26:16 Highlight the passage at 1:26:16

1:26:39 Are the things that he had that made him special, are they in you too? You might be surprised that they are. We're all human. We all have beautiful qualities. And that's the thing. We can still, even though they're no longer physically present with us, they're in us still. And the grief can be soothed so much by basically cherishing those beautiful moments. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:39 Highlight the passage at 1:26:39

1:27:06 And at the same time, in honour of that relationship, is by sharing a good relationship with others. How has your relationship with your brother helped you grow as a human being? Report an error in the passage at 1:27:06 Highlight the passage at 1:27:06

1:27:21 And how you can share that with others and help them grow too. And you can help gift that experience, those skills, those wonderful qualities. You can give those back to him, to wherever he is now. So there's a lot that can be really built on there. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:21 Highlight the passage at 1:27:21

1:27:48 This is always a challenge. We lose someone, it's a shock to us, it hits us hard, and it feels like we will never again have happiness. We will never again have the joy and all the beautiful things that we had together, when it isn't necessarily the end of the world. Those beautiful things are still inside us, and we can make something beautiful out of them. So, hope that helps. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:48 Highlight the passage at 1:27:48

1:28:36 If no, I think we have come to the happy ending time of today's session. Thank you, Ajahn, for joining us tonight. And this is, I think this is the last session of you guys coming before the rains retreat. Next week, we have Dhammasara Monasteries Nun will be coming. So really, thanks a lot for today's talks and meditation. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:36 Highlight the passage at 1:28:36

1:29:07 And hope you have a wonderful rings retreat period in the coming three months. And yeah, maybe we can end with like blessing or sharing merit or anything. That would be great. Thank you so much. Well, thank you for having me. And I hope you'll all have a wonderful ring to treat yourselves and to make the most of what you have. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:07 Highlight the passage at 1:29:07

1:29:34 So here we go. Short little blessing. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:34 Highlight the passage at 1:29:34

1:29:56 Copyright © 2020 Mooji Media Ltd. All Rights Reserved. What's that? Report an error in the passage at 1:29:56 Highlight the passage at 1:29:56

1:30:17 Thank you, Ajahn. Well, thank you for having me. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:17 Highlight the passage at 1:30:17

1:30:29 me Report an error in the passage at 1:30:29 Highlight the passage at 1:30:29