Connect Respect Accept

0:00 Usually when I come and teach I do think a little bit about something to present and because it was my dad's birthday yesterday that's kind of a topic which came up for me quite naturally. My dad did die 12 years ago so he's not with us anymore but he would have celebrated his 95th birthday yesterday and I just thought it would maybe be nice to share a few things. Report an error in the passage at 0:00 Highlight the passage at 0:00

0:29 Through memories that I have with my father and see hopefully that some of those things relate to your situation as well. I've shared a few things when my mother was passing away about almost three years ago now and yeah. Report an error in the passage at 0:29 Highlight the passage at 0:29

0:49 In a sense, I was a little bit naive, but so many people came up afterwards and said, oh, thank you very much for sharing this. I went through a similar situation or I'm actually going through a similar situation right now. And of course, we all are. We are all aging and we're all going to die and we're all going to have people we lose. Report an error in the passage at 0:49 Highlight the passage at 0:49

1:12 in the process so it is something very natural it's something very normal but unfortunately it's something that we often don't talk about so much and when we do talk about it and we kind of normalize it it becomes something where we can actually get some Inspiration can get some strength, can get some tools how to deal with some of the things that are difficult, but also to remember the things that are beautiful, the things that we are grateful for. Report an error in the passage at 1:12 Highlight the passage at 1:12

1:44 What very often happens when people are actually passing, at the funeral we do naturally reflect and we do naturally talk about the beautiful things that have happened to us in the time we were able to share together. And I often take that as a reminder to try and see to not forget these things while the people are still around. Report an error in the passage at 1:44 Highlight the passage at 1:44

2:07 Why does it actually hurt when we lose someone? Why do we have a sense of loss and a sense of grief when these things happen? We do that because we value the time we had together. And it's important to be able to shift from the lack towards gratitude towards being grateful and happy for the time we were able to spend What is the relationship between your parents? Report an error in the passage at 2:07 Highlight the passage at 2:07

2:41 parents will be very very different so I'll be sharing what has happened to me but I'm aware that for some people and it can be quite a difficult topic because some things go wrong which is natural that they go wrong but some of them go a bit more wrong than in other situations there is of course also very complex kind of situations where we have been adopted and we might not even know our parents or there was a surrogacy or all sorts of things or we had a donor but even in those situations we can reflect on our parents And from the basis of that they came together and that nature and them created this body that we have. Report an error in the passage at 2:41 Highlight the passage at 2:41

3:28 And that's something we still have with us now and we will have into the future. If they're here with us now or if they're not here with us anymore they basically gave us this organism to work with, this vehicle to work with. And if we wouldn't have that we wouldn't be able to be here in this form. So that is definitely something that we all can be. Report an error in the passage at 3:28 Highlight the passage at 3:28

3:49 What is the role of a human being when it is born? born is very vulnerable. And it really, really needs a lot of care. It needs a lot of attention. It needs a lot of guidance. And that is basically the job of the parents. That is the job of caregivers, of the people who are around that being to provide that. And that is a beautiful thing. Report an error in the passage at 3:49 Highlight the passage at 3:49

4:31 And sometimes we maybe don't reflect on this enough. what the parents have sacrificed for us when we were small and what we can you know hopefully give them back in return when they are getting a bit older or that we can just keep in our memories keep in our hearts and have as gratitude towards them and let me just see i i've written down a few kind of words that might resonate with you as well so they are Our parents, yes, they're our caregivers, they're our guardians, they're our teachers, they're our guides, they are hopefully our friends, maybe until we get to the teens and then it becomes a little bit of a different story. Report an error in the passage at 4:31 Highlight the passage at 4:31

5:17 We go through a funny kind of period of our lives, but then we very often return. Report an error in the passage at 5:17 Highlight the passage at 5:17

5:49 they look around and And they want to, you know, be cool and know what their peers are doing at that time. The parents are not so cool anymore for a little period of time, but give it five or ten years and that will hopefully pivot and shift back. That's very often the kind of normal movement that happens. So they show us the world. They help us to navigate in the world. Report an error in the passage at 5:49 Highlight the passage at 5:49

6:14 And they actually teach us so much. Copyright © 2020 Mooji Media Ltd. All rights reserved. and into my life into my mind into my heart whatever you want to call it the experiences we had together I'm still carrying them with me now and especially the ones that I really value that I really find are important and good they're like seeds they have planted in my heart and when I see them when I water them when I make sure they develop then they can thrive and then they can flower and then they can really fruit and benefit a lot of other beings and that's kind of how my parents are still living through me. Report an error in the passage at 6:14 Highlight the passage at 6:14

7:23 Of course, there might be some things that have been difficult, that we have to forgive, that we have to let go, and that is fine as well. But the other thing that I often tell people also to remember what happens for us is what happens for our parents as well. I, of course, don't know what you believe, what comes after death, but if you believe that there is some sort of afterlife or another existence, If that's a little bit too difficult for you to imagine, just imagine your children that are around or imagine the relationships you had in your life. Report an error in the passage at 7:23 Highlight the passage at 7:23

8:18 So you are conditioning the people around you and they carry a part of you with them and the other way around as well. So that's kind of a maybe Buddhist perspective to think about this. And my father was actually a little bit older when I was born. I was the last child, kind of like an unexpected child that came around when he was already 51. Report an error in the passage at 8:18 Highlight the passage at 8:18

8:42 So for me, he was always this kind of like old, wise guy. He was a doctor and important in his job was also that you kind of have composure, that you are kind of down to earth, that you are kind of matter of fact kind of person. And that's one of the things that I really valued and treasured in my father. He had kind of like a cool, clear head. Report an error in the passage at 8:42 Highlight the passage at 8:42

9:10 And that's one of the things that he imparted. You need that kind of even-mindedness. Of course, I'll tell you a little bit more, that was one of the difficulties that we had along the path, because he had less of that emotional connection maybe, and less of that kind of spiritual understanding of something. Report an error in the passage at 9:10 Highlight the passage at 9:10

9:45 I still remember when he was getting close to his death and being very weak, he would have some kind of what he would call hallucinations. And he was reporting to me and said, you know, I was lying in my bed. And I saw this kind of being coming out of the wall. But his way of dealing with that was just like, yes, I just said, no, this is not real, this doesn't exist, and I just let it go straight away. Report an error in the passage at 9:45 Highlight the passage at 9:45

10:18 So he just wasn't open for things like that, even as he was getting closer to the end of his life. So I remember just a few things. I don't know what you have with your parents, but even though my father was really, really busy and he invested a lot into his work and it was important to him to, you know, be a good doctor, be a good researcher, but he still found time to be with us children. Report an error in the passage at 10:18 Highlight the passage at 10:18

10:46 And one of the things I remember is that he would cook for us. That was kind of his love language or his way of showing to us that he really cared about us. Or that he would take us out on the weekends. And one of the things I remember is also we would go fishing. And even though we wouldn't talk a lot, he wasn't a man of many words, but just his presence and being there and I was actually happy if I didn't quite catch anything because even back then, whenever I would catch a fish, I just couldn't kill it. Report an error in the passage at 10:46 Highlight the passage at 10:46

11:19 I think a couple of times when it happened the first time, I did, but I felt so bad that I just couldn't do it. I think he had to do it. And I didn't mind if I didn't catch anything. If we could just stand there for a couple of hours and just, I don't know, stare out into the water and be in silence together, I didn't really need anything else. Report an error in the passage at 11:19 Highlight the passage at 11:19

11:40 And that's also when he was dying. A lot of people were asking me, you know, did you have all these deep conversations and did you solve all these problems that you needed to solve? Yes, there were a few things that we had to do, you know, his apartment and sign the things and organize a few things and make sure that what happens after he dies, what he wants to do. Report an error in the passage at 11:40 Highlight the passage at 11:40

12:01 But again, he dealt with that very, you know, matter of fact, and then it was kind of over. And most of the time we were just hanging out with each other. You know, he was having his meal and I was supporting him or I was helping him. And that was enough. In those times we don't really need more than that. Report an error in the passage at 12:01 Highlight the passage at 12:01

12:21 And in a lot of other times we don't need that as well. And it's often actually a sign of a good relationship that we can be silent together. Not because we don't want to talk or because we are kind of... Giving each other the silent treatment as they call it these days, but just because we feel comfortable in each other's company. Report an error in the passage at 12:21 Highlight the passage at 12:21

12:45 And that is something that actually relates to meditation as well. If we can do that with other people, have that kind of relationship, if we have that to our bodies, if we have that to our minds, then it's easier to be silent. Then it's easier not to talk. I just overheard they were talking about retreats and being in noble silence and how difficult that is. So sometimes when we feel uncomfortable we want to talk. Report an error in the passage at 12:45 Highlight the passage at 12:45

13:11 And then if we can't talk and we feel uncomfortable we still talk but we talk to ourselves. We have a lot of thoughts going on in our minds. So that's something we can learn in our relationships and then learn in meditation and then learn gradually, gradually to just be comfortable. With whatever is arising in our bodies or whatever is arising in our minds. Okay, so that's just kind of a few memories there. Report an error in the passage at 13:11 Highlight the passage at 13:11

13:39 Oh yeah, another thing that I wanted to mention is also that he invested a lot of time and also a lot of funds into our training and into making sure that he sets us up for life. That was one of the really beautiful things that he did for us. And I was a person who didn't, you know, party much or whatever, use a lot of money. So when I did eventually became a monastic, they gave me a certain amount of money, you know, both of my parents together. Report an error in the passage at 13:39 Highlight the passage at 13:39

14:07 My mom wasn't working, but of course, you know, she was looking after us. So she was part of that deal as well. And I was quite pleased that I was actually able to give that exact amount of money that they put aside for me to have a good life to both of them. So you're like... How did you get to know Bhante Bodhidhaja? Report an error in the passage at 14:07 Highlight the passage at 14:07

14:37 to my parents that meant something to that to them like for my father they have this thing called general abonnement which is like a card that allows you to use all the public transport in switzerland for one whole year so that is one kind of gift that i could give my father and my mother she was able to come to australia and be here when i became a monastic so i flew Flew over there. Report an error in the passage at 14:37 Highlight the passage at 14:37

15:04 I I picked picked her her up. up, we flew back, and then after my ordination was done, and I stayed here for two weeks, we flew back together away, again, me as a novice in robes already. Report an error in the passage at 15:04 Highlight the passage at 15:04

15:18 It was blocked because I've never used up so much money before. So I had to ring them up and say, no, no, no, this is okay. It's not someone going crazy with my credit card. It's actually me booking the flights for myself and for my mother. Yes, one of the things that my father also wanted for me is to broaden my horizons. Report an error in the passage at 15:18 Highlight the passage at 15:18

15:38 So he was always very happy to encourage me to try out things, to travel. He was even the first person who gave me a Buddha statue because he knew that I was interested in Buddhism. But what he didn't know is that I would move in that direction. A little bit more than was comfortable for him. So that was the part where it started to get a little bit difficult and that's what I wanted to talk about today as well because I mean these are all the beautiful parts and it's wonderful if we remember them and it's important that we remember them but it's also good to reflect on the things that were difficult and how we can deal with them in our life now if we're still together or going into the future. Report an error in the passage at 15:38 Highlight the passage at 15:38

16:24 So, yeah, he would come and stay close to the monastery where I was practicing as a layperson once. But he wouldn't be comfortable enough to come to the monastery. He would be really respectful to my abbot like he would be to a boss. You know, he kind of felt he is my boss and he's looking after me. And he wrote a really nice letter afterwards thanking him that he looked after me. Report an error in the passage at 16:24 Highlight the passage at 16:24

16:48 Coming to the monastery and being exposed to these exotic things that we supposedly do as Buddhist monastics was a little bit too much. So I organized a little room for him close by and we would go for walks and he would every now and then maybe pop in and have a look what's going on. that was actually important as well so all my family members were able to come to the monastery and realize that the people running around in these brown bed sheets are actually not such different beings than we are they have a different kind of orientation in their life and they are following something that might be a little bit weird but they are normal human beings that are actually hopefully relatable so that was beautiful to kind of slowly slowly introduce that to my parents but then when I was getting close to the point where I wanted to ordain and really kind of felt this is my vocation this is my calling in my life then the road became quite rocky And he basically even threatened and said he wouldn't talk to me anymore if I took that step to become a monastic. And that was quite tough. Report an error in the passage at 16:48 Highlight the passage at 16:48

18:03 Even the conversations we had before were difficult at times, but I always felt that he was able to say his piece, I was able to say my piece. I didn't try to convince him. He didn't sort of try to convince me. And we had enough respect for each other that we didn't get angry with each other at that time. But we couldn't find common ground. We couldn't really, really agree. Report an error in the passage at 18:03 Highlight the passage at 18:03

18:30 That is something which took more and more time. So, yes, I talked about... Oh, yeah, and even just when you're starting to stay in the monastery, you start to wear white. So I started to wear white and to shave my head. And then when I would come home for a holiday, so to speak, he would feel uncomfortable and say, oh, can't you just wear the normal clothes? Report an error in the passage at 18:30 Highlight the passage at 18:30

18:55 I started to wear a little bit kind of beige-ish to adjust a little bit. But I didn't really want to go back all the way. So it was this kind of give and take over many years. Report an error in the passage at 18:55 Highlight the passage at 18:55

19:09 When I finally made the decision to become a novice monk, which is kind of the first step in this whole process, even with this kind of threat hanging over my head and considering it really deeply because I knew he wanted to send me a signal, but I still did it because I realized realized at some stage when you're at a certain age it is your life really that you have to make decisions about and you have to be happy with what you're doing and you respect you you really give it a weight what your parents tell you but there comes a time i mean i wasn't a teenager i was beyond that at that time but even then to be a little bit rebellious to be aware of what you need what you are calling is what you Report an error in the passage at 19:09 Highlight the passage at 19:09

19:59 Do those steps. And even if you don't have the support fully from your parents at that point in your life. With my mother it was a different story. She wasn't 100 % supportive but she was kind of like, yeah, even it's like if you would have brought a girl back home and I wouldn't be 100 % happy with her. Report an error in the passage at 19:59 Highlight the passage at 19:59

20:19 If I would see you're happy with her, I would support you. She had that kind of motherly... Where the father is very often, I mean, again, it's a cliche, but very often they are a little bit more goal-oriented or kind of like status-oriented. They try to see you in a certain way in life. And if you don't do that, it can be very difficult for them. But again, I ordained. Report an error in the passage at 20:19 Highlight the passage at 20:19

20:46 Two weeks later, I hopped on a plane with my mom. I flew back to Switzerland. And he was at the airport and he gave me a hug and we never... That discussion was basically dead. And over the years I noticed that his kind of reluctance even changed. So he was observing me, he was observing the people and how they reacted to me. And as he was seeing that... Report an error in the passage at 20:46 Highlight the passage at 20:46

21:12 I actually was respected in the role I had. He slowly, slowly came along as well. And there were even moments where I feel that there was some kind of proudness in him. Kind of like, this is my son, the Buddhist monk. So then it kind of like really shifted, which was beautiful. And I did eventually also get permission because that's one of the things you... Report an error in the passage at 21:12 Highlight the passage at 21:12

21:40 Try to get, before you become a fully ordained monastic, to get the permission of both of your parents, if at all possible. And that happened with my dad as well. And that's where the story comes in, where I had that discussion with him. And he said, you know, yes, it was really difficult for me to see one of my children doing something that I couldn't understand. Report an error in the passage at 21:40 Highlight the passage at 21:40

22:02 And I endured it initially. That was kind of his words. It was said in Czech, so I don't know, but that's roughly the best word I could find that kind of speaks to what he was feeling. But then his endurance kind of moved towards tolerance and moved towards acceptance. And that's kind of the three words that I wanted to impart or have as a title for this session tonight. First of all, connection. Report an error in the passage at 22:02 Highlight the passage at 22:02

22:36 So if something happens, make sure you don't disconnect. Respect. Make sure that you respect the things that are happening, that you respect the other person, that you make sure that they respect what you're doing as well, and that you eventually move towards acceptance. And sometimes people find that really difficult or say, oh, you know, why do we have to accept? Oh, radical acceptance, that's a little bit too much. Report an error in the passage at 22:36 Highlight the passage at 22:36

23:04 But one of the things, if we want to be able to let be and to let go, the first step is acceptance. It doesn't mean that we agree fully with what that thing is, that we think we can't accept, but we accept that it is there. We accept that this is my son doing this thing I don't like. You have to accept that first of all, to be able to work with it, to be able to have the respect and to be eventually able to just say, okay, it's not my life. Report an error in the passage at 23:04 Highlight the passage at 23:04

23:44 And that's when the chicken and the duck story came. For the people who know Ajahn Chah, there is a famous chicken and duck story, but this is the chicken and duck story of my father. He said, this is how I felt. In the early days when I was a little boy in Czech Republic, when farmers had ducks, They realize that especially the ducks which are bred, they forget how to look after their eggs properly. And they don't incubate and sit on their eggs for long enough. Report an error in the passage at 23:44 Highlight the passage at 23:44

24:13 And then also, apparently, they're not so good parents. They're just so much involved in checking their Instagram and seeing what's happening on the phone. Of course, that's not the case. But they're so somewhere else that they can't be there with their child and can't look after them as they should. Report an error in the passage at 24:13 Highlight the passage at 24:13

24:32 So what they do is they take the eggs and they sneak them into the nests of the hens. Because the hens, they have a very strong parental instinct of first of all sitting on their eggs without fail and turning them around and making sure they are incubated and kept warm. With duck eggs, they even spend eight more days or seven more days, one more week to incubate them. Report an error in the passage at 24:32 Highlight the passage at 24:32

24:58 And then once, That chick comes out of the egg. I guess they realized it looks a bit different. But they have this kind of instinct where they just accept it as their child. And that's what kind of happened, you know. I have the genes of my father and my mother, but in Buddhism we believe I don't have the mind of my father and my mother. Report an error in the passage at 24:58 Highlight the passage at 24:58

25:22 That comes from somewhere else. So that's kind of the appearance of the duckling in that situation. And they accept it and they care for it and they feed it and all that. But then there comes the day and that's the description. My father didn't talk much about emotions, but that was spot on. He said the moment where the chicken walks past a lake or a pond with the duck, it literally takes to water like a duck does. Report an error in the passage at 25:22 Highlight the passage at 25:22

25:51 It's imparted into this duckling. It's biology, it's genetics. The chicken hasn't taught it, but it just knows what water is and what to do. And it jumps into the water and it swims away. And the chicken is really distraught. It freaks out and it's flapping its wings and it's calling its little child and running up and down on the shore. Report an error in the passage at 25:51 Highlight the passage at 25:51

26:16 And he said, that's how I felt. So it was... Nice for me to kind of get an understanding of what that process was for him. But I also know that he kind of got over it or he realized that, yes, I'm his child, but not really to some degree. And that's also one of those beautiful things that we can take with us as a teaching for meditation when we sit. Report an error in the passage at 26:16 Highlight the passage at 26:16

26:48 and our body does what it does. Satsang with Mooji Satsang with Mooji our body? Kind of, yes, but sometimes it's just a duck and it's swimming, and we don't want it to swim, and we are running up and down on the shore. Or when thinking arises, when emotions arise, are they us? Are they produced by us? Or do they just come come into being, and we sit on the eggs of those thoughts, of those ideas, and ideas of those kind of deeply ingrained views we have and then they hatch and then we think they're our own but there comes this moment where they just do what they do where we have to have this same kind of realization and we have to go through this process of even then if they misbehave if they do what we don't want to connect To respect and to accept. And then the last one is to let be and to let go. Report an error in the passage at 26:48 Highlight the passage at 26:48

27:56 Okay, so I hope you can find some of the things in there. I know you won't have the exact same story and with my mom it will be a different story obviously. But this just kind of came up because of the occasion yesterday and I thought it might be a nice thing to share it for meditation. Okay, bye. We should be meditating and not talking too much. So please find a comfortable posture to meditate in on the ground or on the chair or on the floor. Report an error in the passage at 27:56 Highlight the passage at 27:56

28:36 Yes, have a sip of water. That's a good idea as well if you have some. If you want to take off your shoes, if you have slippers, it's a nice way to get grounded, a nice way to feel what's going on. Report an error in the passage at 28:36 Highlight the passage at 28:36

28:55 to connect your to your body not just think about your body and then also try not to you know cross your legs or restrict anything so sit comfortably freely openly and Report an error in the passage at 28:55 Highlight the passage at 28:55

29:20 then maybe allow your eyes to gently close if you haven't already done so If that's uncomfortable, you can leave them slightly open and just gaze in front of you where there is nothing much happening. And Report an error in the passage at 29:20 Highlight the passage at 29:20

29:44 then you can take a few deep breaths to Report an error in the passage at 29:44 Highlight the passage at 29:44

29:51 signal to your body and signal to your mind that now is a time to get some rest, get Report an error in the passage at 29:51 Highlight the passage at 29:51

30:05 some settling going, cultivate some silence, some stillness. Some peace and Report an error in the passage at 30:05 Highlight the passage at 30:05

30:28 allow yourself to arrive, to Report an error in the passage at 30:28 Highlight the passage at 30:28

30:49 get some sense of stability, some sense of support, some Report an error in the passage at 30:49 Highlight the passage at 30:49

31:00 sense of ease, and Report an error in the passage at 31:00 Highlight the passage at 31:00

31:16 then see if you can bring a mind which is interested, an inquisitive mind, a Report an error in the passage at 31:16 Highlight the passage at 31:16

31:31 mind like a young child, which is full of energy. Report an error in the passage at 31:31 Highlight the passage at 31:31

31:40 Full of zeal, inspiration, gratitude. Report an error in the passage at 31:40 Highlight the passage at 31:40

32:01 Some of the things that other people might call silly, might call ordinary, but Report an error in the passage at 32:01 Highlight the passage at 32:01

32:14 they're actually quite amazing. What Report an error in the passage at 32:14 Highlight the passage at 32:14

32:22 makes them amazing and interesting? It's how we relate to those simple things. What the attitude is like in our minds. Report an error in the passage at 32:22 Highlight the passage at 32:22

32:48 And when our minds are open and receptive, then they're kind of like a sponge that soaks up whatever is happening and fills us with energy, a Report an error in the passage at 32:48 Highlight the passage at 32:48

33:11 sense of happiness, playfulness, joy. And Report an error in the passage at 33:11 Highlight the passage at 33:11

33:32 that will allow the heaviness, the tension to ease, to evaporate. It might Report an error in the passage at 33:32 Highlight the passage at 33:32

33:52 still be there, but Report an error in the passage at 33:52 Highlight the passage at 33:52

33:57 we can loosen it, we Report an error in the passage at 33:57 Highlight the passage at 33:57

34:05 can make it more smooth. That's Report an error in the passage at 34:05 Highlight the passage at 34:05

34:25 one of those beautiful skills we can develop in meditation. If we connect and if we relate in the right way, things become less of a problem. They become more harmonious. Report an error in the passage at 34:25 Highlight the passage at 34:25

34:58 There is a lightness and ease and the peace. The Report an error in the passage at 34:58 Highlight the passage at 34:58

35:06 path we are trotting might still be difficult at times, but we walk it with a smile. We walk it with a spring in our step. We walk it with a bit of fun and games, with a bit of humour. It Report an error in the passage at 35:06 Highlight the passage at 35:06

35:35 doesn't mean we don't take things seriously enough. Report an error in the passage at 35:35 Highlight the passage at 35:35

35:42 We just don't allow them to weigh us down, to burden us. We Report an error in the passage at 35:42 Highlight the passage at 35:42

35:59 allow them to wash off like the water pearls off a duck's back. Report an error in the passage at 35:59 Highlight the passage at 35:59

36:14 It's there, it's felt, it even uses the water as a support to float on it, but it's not soaked, made heavy and pulled down by it. Report an error in the passage at 36:14 Highlight the passage at 36:14

36:47 And then we can scan through our bodies as it is the evening, maybe start with our feet and see if we can do three things. Report an error in the passage at 36:47 Highlight the passage at 36:47

37:01 Connect, respect, accept. Report an error in the passage at 37:01 Highlight the passage at 37:01

37:15 Allowing whatever is there to be there, not pushing it away. Report an error in the passage at 37:15 Highlight the passage at 37:15

37:24 Respecting it, caring for it, Report an error in the passage at 37:24 Highlight the passage at 37:24

37:29 letting it be, letting it settle. And if it wants to come and wants to go, even letting it go altogether. Report an error in the passage at 37:29 Highlight the passage at 37:29

37:46 Moving to our ankles, moving Report an error in the passage at 37:46 Highlight the passage at 37:46

37:52 into the lower part of our legs, connecting, caring, just being there, listening, respecting, feeling Report an error in the passage at 37:52 Highlight the passage at 37:52

38:17 into our knees, allowing them to be, relating Report an error in the passage at 38:17 Highlight the passage at 38:17

38:30 with tenderness and care, Report an error in the passage at 38:30 Highlight the passage at 38:30

38:39 accepting them. As they are. Report an error in the passage at 38:39 Highlight the passage at 38:39

38:49 Feeling our thighs all the way to our buttocks. Report an error in the passage at 38:49 Highlight the passage at 38:49

39:00 Connecting, respecting, accepting. And Report an error in the passage at 39:00 Highlight the passage at 39:00

39:15 that will lead to settling, to rest, to peace. Report an error in the passage at 39:15 Highlight the passage at 39:15

39:32 Connecting to our pelvis, to our hips. Report an error in the passage at 39:32 Highlight the passage at 39:32

39:40 Going really right in or looking on from a distance, whatever feels comfortable. Feels okay. We don't want to overwhelm ourselves either. There needs to be balance. Report an error in the passage at 39:40 Highlight the passage at 39:40

39:59 Connecting. Respecting. Accepting. And Report an error in the passage at 39:59 Highlight the passage at 39:59

40:12 feeling. Knowing, understanding what that does. Report an error in the passage at 40:12 Highlight the passage at 40:12

40:25 Moving upwards. Into our lower backs. All around. To our bellies. To all the organs in there. Report an error in the passage at 40:25 Highlight the passage at 40:25

40:43 Hanging out with them. Report an error in the passage at 40:43 Highlight the passage at 40:43

40:48 Being there with them, being grateful for what they do, accepting the things that might be a little bit different from what we hope, being Report an error in the passage at 40:48 Highlight the passage at 40:48

41:12 at ease, even if there is some discomfort. Report an error in the passage at 41:12 Highlight the passage at 41:12

41:27 Moving upwards to the middle part of our backs, where Report an error in the passage at 41:27 Highlight the passage at 41:27

41:36 the diaphragm is, the lungs start, the liver, pancreas, all those organs helping with the digestion. Report an error in the passage at 41:36 Highlight the passage at 41:36

41:55 We don't need to feel them on a granular level, but connect, say hi, respect them for what they are, what they do, thank Report an error in the passage at 41:55 Highlight the passage at 41:55

42:15 them, encourage them, cheer them on, like our parents. They often are our support, our cheerleader, our encouragement, even if they don't agree 100 % with what we might be. Doing, thinking, deciding, moving Report an error in the passage at 42:15 Highlight the passage at 42:15

42:45 up into our chest, the upper part of the back, Report an error in the passage at 42:45 Highlight the passage at 42:45

42:59 shoulder blades, shoulders, allowing Report an error in the passage at 42:59 Highlight the passage at 42:59

43:08 them to move freely, to be open, flexible, adaptable, connecting, Report an error in the passage at 43:08 Highlight the passage at 43:08

43:27 respecting, accepting, giving them space, letting Report an error in the passage at 43:27 Highlight the passage at 43:27

43:39 them do their thing. The lungs, the heart, the muscles, the bones, the skin. And Report an error in the passage at 43:39 Highlight the passage at 43:39

43:55 then we can move into our arms, our Report an error in the passage at 43:55 Highlight the passage at 43:55

44:01 elbows, our lower arms, to our hands and feel. Are they in the right spot? Are they comfortable? If not, we can move them. We Report an error in the passage at 44:01 Highlight the passage at 44:01

44:26 can let them settle where they feel most at ease. But Report an error in the passage at 44:26 Highlight the passage at 44:26

44:33 we only know if we ask. If we connect and if we, so to speak, respect their wishes rather than our idea of how things should be. Going Report an error in the passage at 44:33 Highlight the passage at 44:33

45:03 into our necks, top Report an error in the passage at 45:03 Highlight the passage at 45:03

45:09 part of the spine, muscles, Report an error in the passage at 45:09 Highlight the passage at 45:09

45:16 flesh, around the whole neck, the back, the sides, the front, up Report an error in the passage at 45:16 Highlight the passage at 45:16

45:36 to our skulls, the head. Report an error in the passage at 45:36 Highlight the passage at 45:36

45:42 Finding a nice balance, Report an error in the passage at 45:42 Highlight the passage at 45:42

45:55 relaxing the jaw, the Report an error in the passage at 45:55 Highlight the passage at 45:55

46:03 tongue, the throat, the Report an error in the passage at 46:03 Highlight the passage at 46:03

46:10 face, the Report an error in the passage at 46:10 Highlight the passage at 46:10

46:16 eyes, the Report an error in the passage at 46:16 Highlight the passage at 46:16

46:21 forehead, the Report an error in the passage at 46:21 Highlight the passage at 46:21

46:26 scalp, on top, on the sides, on the back, including the temples and the ears. Connect, Report an error in the passage at 46:26 Highlight the passage at 46:26

46:48 respect, accept. And Report an error in the passage at 46:48 Highlight the passage at 46:48

47:09 as we follow this simple process, Feel into what that leads to. Not because we want it, but because it's a natural result. Things Report an error in the passage at 47:09 Highlight the passage at 47:09

47:29 relax, things harmonize, they settle, Report an error in the passage at 47:29 Highlight the passage at 47:29

47:42 ease and soften. See Report an error in the passage at 47:42 Highlight the passage at 47:42

47:53 if you can feel that softness, maybe in your feet, maybe in your hands, maybe in your belly, maybe... By the simple touch of the two lips gently, softly resting on each other. And Report an error in the passage at 47:53 Highlight the passage at 47:53

48:26 then allow this gentle, soft, easeful feeling to soak into the rest of the body. Ripple, Report an error in the passage at 48:26 Highlight the passage at 48:26

48:48 radiate, Report an error in the passage at 48:48 Highlight the passage at 48:48

49:09 suffusing the whole body that way. And Report an error in the passage at 49:09 Highlight the passage at 49:09

49:19 also flowing over. Touching into the mental world, the thoughts, the emotions, colouring, Report an error in the passage at 49:19 Highlight the passage at 49:19

49:39 saturating your mind, your heart with it too. All Report an error in the passage at 49:39 Highlight the passage at 49:39

49:56 through the power, the simple but powerful force of connection, of respect, of unconditional acceptance. Report an error in the passage at 49:56 Highlight the passage at 49:56

50:25 of freedom and liberation setting your body free setting your emotions and thoughts and your mind free and in that process freeing yourself and Report an error in the passage at 50:25 Highlight the passage at 50:25

51:12 if you meditate by yourself see if you can guide yourself in a similar way and once you have opened the door and been able to connect and Walk into the room of ease, peace, settling, stillness. Then you can rest there, hang out there. Report an error in the passage at 51:12 Highlight the passage at 51:12

51:41 Make it your home. Report an error in the passage at 51:41 Highlight the passage at 51:41

51:48 Recharge, re-energize. And Report an error in the passage at 51:48 Highlight the passage at 51:48

52:01 then when you come out on the other end of a meditation, that's when it is time to feel what has changed. To know. and to understand what has shifted how Report an error in the passage at 52:01 Highlight the passage at 52:01

52:28 does your body feel now what has happened to your thoughts your emotions your mind your mind state and Report an error in the passage at 52:28 Highlight the passage at 52:28

52:56 that's how you're able to come back to these beautiful spaces and if it doesn't work if that's even something something we can call meditation not working, then we learn, then we understand. Did I connect? Did I run away? Did I respect? Or did I argue? Did I push away? Did I hate? Did I nag? Did Report an error in the passage at 52:56 Highlight the passage at 52:56

53:46 I accept? Or did I push away? Did I avoid? And Report an error in the passage at 53:46 Highlight the passage at 53:46

54:01 find a way. A safe way to do these three things. Report an error in the passage at 54:01 Highlight the passage at 54:01

54:11 Gradually, gradually, step by step, one meditation at a time. Actually, one breath at a time. So Report an error in the passage at 54:11 Highlight the passage at 54:11

54:34 I'll be ringing the bell. Take this time to gently come out of meditation. Slowly connecting to your body and then coming back. back into this room. Report an error in the passage at 54:34 Highlight the passage at 54:34

· · · silence, 1 minute

55:31 At least one clock, says 7.30. Report an error in the passage at 55:31 Highlight the passage at 55:31

55:40 But if you do have any questions or any comments, yes, please. What did your siblings think about you becoming a monastic? Report an error in the passage at 55:40 Highlight the passage at 55:40

55:55 I think they were pretty cool with it. Report an error in the passage at 55:55 Highlight the passage at 55:55

56:00 Around the same age, then maybe it's also a bit easier to relate to each other. You don't have this kind of notion of this is my child and it has to do what I think it should do. Probably as peers, we give each other a little bit more kind of freedom to express ourselves, to try things out. And again, both of them have come to the monastery. Report an error in the passage at 56:00 Highlight the passage at 56:00

56:28 My sister came to Ayakema's monastery, Mettā Vihara, in Germany when I was still a layperson, living there for two years. And then my brother has a wife in Korea, and I collected enough miles at that point, so I invited him to fly down from Korea and spend one and a half weeks or something down here in Australia, and I managed to book him in into one of the nine-day retreats. Report an error in the passage at 56:28 Highlight the passage at 56:28

56:57 With Ajahn Brahm. So he actually did that when he came to visit me. And he is a neuroscientist researching emotions. So they actually teach people Brahmavihara meditations and measure their brains. That's one of the things he was doing at the Max Planck Institute. Now he is at the University of Essex. Going more into kind of psychology and attachment theory. But that kind of... Report an error in the passage at 56:57 Highlight the passage at 56:57

57:26 plays a little bit into what I was talking about today. It's so important how we teach our kids by how we are ourselves. And that's basically what they call secure attachment. When you're able to teach your kids that emotions are normal. that there will be big emotions and that you can regulate these things that you can give them some sort of safety and hold them in that space when these things are still too big for them and that's how they learn to later down the track when big emotions arrive and their parents or their guides or teachers are not there anymore to kind of hold them in the same way yeah so I see them also when I go to Europe usually and Report an error in the passage at 57:26 Highlight the passage at 57:26

58:16 Basically, yeah, I think it's quite cool. It's pretty neat to have a brother as a monk. I would have to ask them, but that's kind of the feeling I get. Report an error in the passage at 58:16 Highlight the passage at 58:16

58:30 I'm the youngest one, so they say sometimes it's the easiest for, you know, I didn't have to kind of push the boundaries too much. I mean, I did in my own way, but I had two siblings that did that before me. So maybe it was a bit easier as well. Anything else? Report an error in the passage at 58:30 Highlight the passage at 58:30

58:51 Okay, cool. Thanks for coming along. I hope you had a good meditation and you take whatever we have cultivated with you out there. Report an error in the passage at 58:51 Highlight the passage at 58:51

59:05 And don't, you know, destroy it too quickly. And if you want to have some more, come back next week. Ajahn JR will be here. The three of us usually take turns to do these sessions here. Okay, wonderful. Thank you very much. Report an error in the passage at 59:05 Highlight the passage at 59:05