Collage (Retreat at Spirit Rock)

0:01 Tonight's talk is a bit of a collage of topics that are of interest to me. Suggest a fix for the passage at 0:01

0:16 I hope they'll be of some interest to you. And I want to start with a quote by John Lennon, which is only peripherally related to the talk. When I was five years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down happy. They told me I didn't understand the assignment. And I told them they didn't understand life. Suggest a fix for the passage at 0:16

1:02 So tonight's talk is a bit about understanding life and perhaps happiness. Suggest a fix for the passage at 1:02

1:12 And it builds a bit on Anushka's talk last night which outlined the five aggregates. And that's a template that the Buddha gave very often. It's found... Frequently in the suttas and the discourses as a way of beginning to understand the notion of selflessness. Now in the teachings, impermanence is easy to understand. Even if we have not fully actualized it in the way we live, it's not a difficult concept to grasp. Suggest a fix for the passage at 1:12

1:55 And dukkha is not hard to grasp. We all have a very immediate experience of it. But the teachings on selflessness, they are not intuitively obvious. And it, in a way, goes against our common sense experience of things. You could go up to anybody on the street and ask them whether things are impermanent or there are difficulties in life, of course. If you go up and ask them, do you really exist? Suggest a fix for the passage at 1:55

2:38 That would raise some questions. Suggest a fix for the passage at 2:38

2:45 So in talking about selflessness, Suggest a fix for the passage at 2:45

2:50 the first and important thing to realize is that the self is not something that we need to get rid of. Suggest a fix for the passage at 2:50

3:03 It really is not there in the first place and we are misperceiving our experience. So an example which I have been giving for the last 42 years Some of you have probably heard it that many times. It's the example of the constellation, the Big Dipper. You're all familiar with the Big Dipper? You know, clear night, you look up at the sky, and you see that constellation. Suggest a fix for the passage at 3:03

3:42 So what is this, the sixth or seventh day of the retreat? This is a little midterm exam. Is there really a Big Dipper up in the sky? Suggest a fix for the passage at 3:42

3:56 There's no Big Dipper. Sorry. Suggest a fix for the passage at 3:56

4:03 There are some points of light which we take to be stars in a certain pattern. We see the pattern in a certain way. We give it the name Big Dipper. But when you realize that there's no Big Dipper, does anything change in the sky? No. Everything is as it always was. We're just seeing it more clearly in the sense we're seeing it free of concepts. And it's not to say that the concepts are not useful, because if you happen to be in the middle of the Pacific Ocean navigating a canoe, the Big Dipper points to the North Star, and you can navigate that way. So concepts can be useful, but it's important to realize that it is a concept. Suggest a fix for the passage at 4:03

4:59 So the self is not something we need to get rid of. It's not there in the first place. Self is like Big Dipper. The real question... And source of investigation is how the sense of self is created in the first place. What are we doing in our experience that gives rise to the feeling of or the sense of self, which we all have and we live in that realm. Suggest a fix for the passage at 4:59

5:33 So over these last days, we've been talking a lot and I think you've experienced very often that as experience unfolds, We have the tendency at different times and often frequently to identify with what's arising as being I, as being self. And it's that mental process of identifying with that creates that felt sense of self. So my body, or I'm feeling these sensations, my thought, my emotions. Suggest a fix for the passage at 5:33

6:19 I mentioned the other night the famous Burmese monk Lady Sayadaw. And at one point in his writings, he listed, it was a long list of very common experiences, all of which he called wrong view. So what was on the list? I'm angry, I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm excited, I'm enthusiastic, I'm bored, and on and on. Suggest a fix for the passage at 6:19

6:54 Just the normal way we experience things. What's wrong view? The I. Claiming these emotions as being self, as being I. Rather than seeing the experience, as anger angers and fear fears and love loves, each quality is expressing its own nature. None of them belong to anyone. Suggest a fix for the passage at 6:54

7:27 So you might have seen over these last days and gotten a glimpse that yes, sensations come and go and I can sometimes be with them and not personalize them. And perhaps you've seen thoughts arising and passing away and beginning to get a sense that they're coming from the person behind you and they're not really yours. And perhaps you've had a sense with different emotions Suggest a fix for the passage at 7:27

7:57 You see how they arise out of conditions and pass away and perhaps get a sense of the selflessness of them. But the hardest place to understand selflessness, to deconstruct that sense of I, is in our relationship to consciousness, to knowing. Because even as we see all of these other experiences arising and passing and perhaps getting a glimpse of the non -self aspect, Still, there's the strong feeling, I'm the one knowing it all. And so we create that sense of the observer or the witness. And that's where the I resides. And you could think of consciousness or awareness or knowing as the last hideout of self. That's the most difficult place to see clearly. Without identifying with it. So tonight I'd like to talk about four different ways of working with knowing, working with consciousness, with awareness, in ways that could help us understand it without taking it to the eye, without identifying with it. And these different ways come from different traditions. Different Buddhist traditions have different methodologies for understanding this. Suggest a fix for the passage at 7:57

9:37 So the first one is a very classical teaching in the Theravāda tradition, and it's the understanding that in every moment two things are happening. There's knowing and an object arising simultaneously. So what is hearing? There's knowing of a sound. What is seeing? Knowing of a sight, knowing of a smell, a taste, knowing of a sensation, knowing of a thought. And our experience, and this is one of the insights that happen in the course of Vipassanā unfolding, our experience is this pairwise progression of knowing an object, knowing an object, knowing an object, knowing an object. Suggest a fix for the passage at 9:37

10:32 Now it's important to understand that the knowing and the object are distinct but not separable. So there are two different things. So this is a rather strange example. But if you lifted the arm of a corpse, if it could still move, the movement would be there. The physical sense of movement would be there. But is there any knowing? As far as we can tell, not. You know, a corpse doesn't know anything. And yet the physical movement is there. So when we move our arms, there's the same movement, but something else is there as well, which is the knowing of the movement. Suggest a fix for the passage at 10:32

11:35 So far, so good? Just knowing an object. So it's arising simultaneously. You can't separate it, but it's two distinct phenomena. So it's kind of like, when you look at this, this has both color and form. But are color and form the same thing? No. They're two distinct aspects, but you can't separate. The color is always in a form, and the form has a color. So they're two inseparable but distinct aspects. This mind -body, this process of knowing an object is like that. They're arising simultaneously. We can't separate them, but they are distinguishable. And so when you're sitting or walking, you might give emphasis to really seeing and examining or just recognizing that in any moment, this is what's happening. There's a knowing and an object. Knowing and an object. You're taking a step. There's the movement and the knowing of it. Taking a breath. There's the sensations and the knowing of them. As the mindfulness gets stronger, We begin to see with greater and greater clarity this process, knowing an object, knowing an object, knowing an object, knowing an object, very quickly arising and passing. This is a very important stage in the progress of insight because it is the first real glimpse of selflessness. We see that all that there is is this Progression of knowing an object, knowing an object. It's not that it's happening to someone. What we are is this process. Knowing an object, arising and passing, arising, passing, arising, passing. And so it gives a real taste of the selflessness of consciousness because we see that it's actually arising and passing in each moment. So this is one way into beginning our understanding. Of not being identified with knowing, not creating a knower. Suggest a fix for the passage at 11:35

14:18 Okay, so that's one avenue in. Another avenue is to see the constructed nature of consciousness. That knowing or consciousness arises out of causes. And the Buddha laid out pretty clearly what the causes were for consciousness to arise. Suggest a fix for the passage at 14:18

14:48 I kind of explored this particular aspect. I was on retreat at the Forest Refuge in Barry, Suggest a fix for the passage at 14:48

14:58 and I was in the dining room. I was eating, and I made a little thought experiment. Suggest a fix for the passage at 14:58

15:08 This is a little sidebar. Even though we encourage you not to get lost in thought, it's not to say that thought cannot be a very useful tool of reflection and investigation. Some years ago, I read the biography of Einstein, and I mean, it's quite amazing. His brilliant understanding of the nature of the universe, all thought experiments. He wasn't an experimental physicist. It was this amazingly creative and intuitive understanding that came through a thought experiment. So my own thought experiment in the dining room of the Forest Refuge does not quite rise to the level. Of Einstein. But it arrives to the level of Goldstein. It Suggest a fix for the passage at 15:08

16:16 was a mistake to start with John Lennon. Okay, so taste consciousness. Eating is just watching. Suggest a fix for the passage at 16:16

16:28 And just the process of eating, I don't know whether you've really paid attention, but it's amazing what the tongue does. It is the strangest organ. Suggest a fix for the passage at 16:28

16:43 It's like this. This thing in the mouth. Suggest a fix for the passage at 16:43

16:49 I've been told, I'm not sure this is true, that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body. But it's very effective. So how does taste consciousness arise? The Buddha explained it arises when four conditions are present. We need the tongue. We need food on the tongue. We need some moisture, saliva. And we need attention. If those four conditions are there, taste consciousness will arise. So I just did a little thought experiment. Knowing that, I was just eating and just imagined where the taste would arise if there were no tongue. Obviously not. Or if there were no attention. If I took any one of those conditions away, taste consciousness wouldn't be there. And we can do this with all of the sense doors. How does seeing consciousness arise? We have the working organ of the eyes. We have something coming in front. There's light and attention. If those four conditions are there, seeing consciousness will arise. Take any one of those conditions away. We don't see. And I often do this when I'm walking or going for a walk. I'll just play at the different sense doors. Using this little thought experiment, taking one of the causal conditions away, and it becomes so clear, it's like a moment pop or something, of realizing that consciousness, the knowing, is itself conditioned. It's conditioned by these causes. And take any cause, any one of those causes away, the consciousness is not there. So that's another way of understanding the not -self nature of it. There's no I in that mix. It's just causes. Causes come together. Consciousness arises. So that's the second way we can begin to experiment and really look for ourselves, investigate for ourselves. So the third way, and this now is moving into the teachings of another tradition. It's more in some of the Zen traditions and Tibetan traditions. Suggest a fix for the passage at 16:49

19:30 Where the suggestion for investigation is to look for the mind, to look for the knowing, to look for the awareness and see if you can find it. There's a very famous Zen dialogue, actually from China, Chan. Bodhidharma brought Buddhism from India to China. You know, reputedly this very fierce guy sitting in a cave for nine years. And somebody came, this seeker came to him. I'm not sure I'm going to pronounce it correctly, but his name was Huike. H -U -I -K -E. And Huike was in great distress. And at first, Bodhidharma was just ignoring him. And as this rather weird legend goes, he cut off his arm to show his sincerity. So Bodhidharma agreed to come out of his cave. Suggest a fix for the passage at 19:30

20:40 We're much easier. Suggest a fix for the passage at 20:40

20:45 And Vajka says, you know, venerable sir, I'm in such distress. I'm suffering so much. Please pacify my mind. Now, before I proceed, the dialogue goes back and forth a couple of times. In the end, it sounds like a little witticism. And so people often just take it on that level. But it's actually a profound truth. So try to hear it in that way. So Hweika is saying to Bodhidharma, I'm in such distress, I'm in such suffering, please pacify my mind. Bodhidharma says, show me your mind and I'll pacify it. Hweika says, I've looked for it everywhere and I can't find it. And Bodhidharma says, there, I've pacified it. Suggest a fix for the passage at 20:45

21:42 That is a very direct pointing. It's like when we look for the mind, there's nothing to find. When we look for the knowing, it can't be found. When you look for awareness, you can't find it, and yet the knowing is there. So in some traditions, they refer to that non -findability as an experience of emptiness. In different traditions, use that term emptiness in different ways. But it's very interesting. When you're sitting, I enjoy doing this a lot with sound. If I'm sitting and sounds are just arising, sometimes I'll ask myself the question, can I find what's knowing the sound? I know I'm knowing it because I'm hearing. But then when I look to see, can I find what it is that's knowing? There's nothing to find, even though the knowing is there. So again, when we begin to experience the non -findability of awareness, of knowing, that's another doorway into understanding its selfless nature. There's nothing there to find, even as knowing happens. Suggest a fix for the passage at 21:42

23:18 So that's the third way. to look for the mind. The fourth way is something that just came to me quite a few years ago in my practice and it really transformed my practice. It was just a turn, it was actually a turn of language and how I was languaging things to myself. So there's an interesting quote by Wittgenstein. He said, the sense of a separate self is only a shadow cast by grammar. Suggest a fix for the passage at 23:18

24:05 How we language things conditions how we experience things. But we are so immersed in our language from very early on that we don't even see how the language that we use is conditioning our perception. Suggest a fix for the passage at 24:05

24:31 The big turn for me came, and I didn't know what gave rise to the thought. But usually we language our experience in the active voice. You know, I'm seeing, I'm hearing, I'm doing this, I'm going there. So there's a subject, you know, and a verb, and an object. So I started reframing, relanguaging things in the passive voice. So for example, in walking, sensations being known. Not I'm knowing the sensations. So in the movement, the sensations are being known. In re -languaging it that way to myself and actually practicing that framework, there were some quite remarkable consequences. One is that Suggest a fix for the passage at 24:31

25:34 everything is being known completely effortlessly. Just as a little experiment, if you move your arm with that frame. You could say the movement or sensations being known. Aren't they being known just as you're moving? And you can move fast, you can dance, or you can move really slowly. And they're just being known. All by itself, completely effortless. And not only is it effortless, begin to see that Suggest a fix for the passage at 25:34

26:16 experience is being known exactly in the moment of its arising. The knowing doesn't lag. It's not ahead. It's precisely as it's happening, it's being known. And no one's doing anything. So there's this effortlessness. There's this precision. There's an exactitude to it. Suggest a fix for the passage at 26:16

26:55 So I would experiment with this a little bit if you're interested. Both in the sitting, the sensation of the breath being known. It was very easy in the walking. Because the movement is so obvious. And just being known. And if you get to a place, and this is not difficult, but if you get to the place where it's just happening really easily for you, you know, that's just the language construct that is there through which you're experiencing things. Just things being known moment after moment. A movement, a sound, a thought, things being known. If you practice just a little bit and you find it easeful, Then you could ask a very telling question. Things are being known. Known by what? And so it's turning the attention back towards the knowing. And again we find the same thing as Vaka. Known by what? There's nothing to find and yet the knowing is there. So this is the great mystery of awareness, the great mystery of consciousness. This passive voice construction and practicing in that way can give a very immediate sense of the selflessness of the whole process, the selflessness of knowing. No one's doing anything. The great contribution of the passive voice, which is generally unacknowledged in society at large, is that There's no subject. It takes the subject out of the picture. And so we're just in this experience of things being known moment after moment, being known effortlessly, no one's there. And some people might call that a non -dual awareness or selfless, selfless awareness, because there's no subject, there's no I in that experience. So that's another way you can... Begin to explore this. Suggest a fix for the passage at 26:55

29:27 Okay, just a quick recap. Four different approaches to beginning to explore the selflessness of consciousness, the selflessness of awareness. One is that insight into the fact that this process is just a sequence, a pairwise progression, moment after moment, knowing an object, knowing an object, knowing an object. And you can really be with your experience in that way. Notice this. This is how it's happening. So you don't have to create it. It's just to notice that in every moment, that's what's happening. And that's all that's happening. And that it's not happening to someone. What we are is that process. Knowing an object, knowing an object. Causes and conditions. To see how consciousness arises because of different causes, and you can check that out, as I mentioned in different examples. Suggest a fix for the passage at 29:27

30:39 You might play the role or the little dialogue in your mind of Bodhidharma and Vekka. And sometimes I'll use that dialogue. If I'm going along and my mind is disturbed by something or just caught up in something, and being very familiar with that whole dialogue of, you know, I'm suffering. Please pacify my mind. Show me your mind. Nothing to find. Already pacified. So I've just used the shorthand. When I'm right in the middle of something, I'll just say to myself, already pacified. And it reminds me that look for the mind. There's nothing to find. In that nothing to find, there's no problem. And just a little phrase that a Sri Lankan monk once used. He said, no self, no problem. You know, and... We can drop into that space even if it's just for a few moments at a time. Suggest a fix for the passage at 30:39

31:46 So already pacified. And then the fourth is that practice of reframing your experience as you're going along in that passive voice of just different things being known. I would highly recommend, particularly this last one, because once you settle into that frame, The practice becomes so effortless. We've taken the I out of the whole process, the I which is struggling to be mindful and struggling in whatever way you struggle. It's just things are being known moment after moment. So there's a great lightness and ease in that way of practice. Suggest a fix for the passage at 31:46

32:38 Okay, second part of the collage. This first one had to do with... How not, or practicing, investigating, not identifying with consciousness, seeing the selfless nature of awareness. Suggest a fix for the passage at 32:38

32:56 The second topic of interest actually arose just in my last retreat. Over the winter I was sitting for about six weeks and a line of the teachings came to mind which I mentioned in the earlier talk. And this is a line that you find often in the suttas when somebody got Enlightened, they would often express their enlightenment with the phrase, whatever has the nature to arise will also pass away. Remember I talked about that in the impermanence talk. So this line, find it very often. So I was sitting and it came to mind. And usually I would read that line simply as a description. You know, people describing. Whatever has the nature to arise will also pass away. Yeah, got that. But in this particular sitting, I took that line more as an instruction. And so right in the sitting, and I was just there sitting in the flow of experience, you know, different sensations and sounds and thoughts, just all the experiences of our practice. I was there in the flow of it. And I dropped this sentence right in. Whatever has the nature to arise will also pass away. And something quite unexpected happened. Suggest a fix for the passage at 32:56

34:40 What is the implication of that sentence? Whatever has the nature to arise will also pass away. When I dropped it right into the middle of my practice, it became crystal clear that there is nothing to want. Because whatever I might want will also pass away. And in the context of meditation, Suggest a fix for the passage at 34:40

35:13 there's a phenomenon that is very common. Probably most of you are practicing in this way. And certainly I've seen it in myself very, very often. Being in the flow of experience, but with a slight leaning into the next moment. It's like... We're with the breath in order for the next breath. Or we're with a sensation in order for it to unfold in a certain way. Or we're with an emotion for something. That there's what I call the in order to mind. We're with this in order for something. So it can be very subtle. It can be the subtlest Energetic leaning into the process. And the Buddha called this, in the Second Noble Truth, we talked about the cause of suffering, which is craving. Suggest a fix for the passage at 35:13

36:25 The first kind of craving we're very familiar with is just the craving for senseplitters. But the second is more subtle and more pervasive. He called it craving for becoming. So there's a wanting something to happen. This is leading someplace. When I drop this line in, it's whatever has the nature to arise will also pass away. It's like there is nothing to become because whatever it is will also pass away. And so for that moment, the mind just stopped that forward lean. And the Four Noble Truths in that moment became so clarified, it became so clear that this craving for becoming, even on a moment -to -moment level, Is what keeps us on this whole whirlwind of saṃsāra. It's like we're craving the next moment. And the next moment. And the next moment. And it illuminated the essence of the practice. And this is... If you get this, you've got everything. The essence of the practice is Suggest a fix for the passage at 36:25

37:58 not becoming anything. It's not having... Some new meditative experience. Because whatever has the nature to arise will also pass away. The essence of the practice is in not craving anything. It's that dropping back into not wanting. So this was a very surprising. I had no idea that this would come just from dropping that phrase. Suggest a fix for the passage at 37:58

38:38 So you might want to experiment with that. Do you have that sense of, as you practice, how often there's a leaning, just a, we're with this in order for something. And that's, we think, that's what the meditation is about. You know, to become something. But the freedom isn't exactly the opposite. The freedom is in not Not becoming. Not craving. So that we can do any time. You can touch the deepest aspects of the practice in any moment when you realize that it's this. This is the move. Not that. So you might experiment with that and just see if it's useful for you. Suggest a fix for the passage at 38:38

39:50 Okay, that's the second part of the collage. Whatever has the nature to arise will also pass away. And really using the implications of that very profound statement. It's not just a throwaway line. It's pointing to the very essence of the practice. Suggest a fix for the passage at 39:50

40:15 The third aspect came from reading a series of talks by a Sri Lankan monk named Jnanananda. and he's A very revered monk in Sri Lanka. Suggest a fix for the passage at 40:15

40:38 Deeply, deeply immersed in the suttas and the texts. Knows them perfectly. And very accomplished in his practice. So he gave a series of lectures. I think it was something like 36 or 37 lectures on Nibbāna. So I thought, oh, this will be interesting. It was a mind stretch. You can Google. You can go to Ajahn Google, Jnananda, and they're all online. It's amazing. You want 37 lectures on Nirvāṇa? There they are. Suggest a fix for the passage at 40:38

41:22 They are a mind stretch. I mean, he was talking about the dharma in ways that were so unusual and so subtle. I really needed to be reading it when I was in a very quiet practice space. To let the words, to try and really understand them. But in all of those lectures, there's one image he used, which I found very useful in my practice, and that's what I want to mention this evening. Suggest a fix for the passage at 41:22

42:01 So he used the image of a river flowing to the ocean, and you could think of that as the stream leading to Nibbāna. So we're in the stream. So what is this river? What is this stream? That's when we are in the flow of impermanence. When we're just in our experience and in that flow of things arising and passing, arising and passing and just going along. And there are no obstructions. So we're in the flow. We're in the current. And in fact, that is the current leading to Nibbāna. And then he used the example, if the current of the water hits an obstacle, like a rock or something, so what will happen as it goes over the rock, you know, it creates a little vortex and sometimes an eddy, you know, where the current goes in the opposite direction to the main flow. Suggest a fix for the passage at 42:01

43:17 And he used this example of the vortex and the eddy at those times in the flow, when we're in the flow of impermanence, But then we get caught by something creating the sense of self. And we're no longer in the flow, but then we're in the eddy, going around and around in whatever our little story or fixation or attachment is, until at a certain point we come out of the eddy and are back in the flow of impermanence. So just as a kind of example of this, years ago, I was on a whitewater rafting trip up in, I can't remember, I think it was the Snake River up in Idaho. Suggest a fix for the passage at 43:17

44:15 And along with the main rafts, the guides had these little flimsy rubber kayaks that people could go in individually and just to kind of play in the river. So I thought, oh, that looked like fun. So I get into one and I'm kind of paddling and then the guy shouts out to me, watch out for the hole in the river. I had no idea what he was talking about. I mean, I'm from central mass. Suggest a fix for the passage at 44:15

44:52 It didn't mean anything to me until a few moments later because the current was going over something and into the vortex. So I go and I'm really pulled down. I'm pulled down under the water. Fortunately, I was wearing a life vest. Kind of that popped me back up. But that vortex was so straight, it pulled me down again. And then again, the life jacket popped me up and then back in the stream. So in our practice, when we get caught, whether it's in the vortex or in eddy, mindfulness is like that life jacket. Mindfulness is the life vest. So when we get caught and we remember to be mindful, we disidentify with whatever it is that's arising and back in the flow of the current towards Nibbāna. So I found it very interesting, both in the sitting, in the walking, just in moving about, to watch for that change of experience, to just be paying attention. Okay, we're in the flow and everything is going along smoothly. And then something happens and we're no longer in that forward moving current. Maybe we're lost in some thought, some story, or caught up in some reaction. Or even I noticed it so I could be going along and then if Suggest a fix for the passage at 44:52

46:43 I have to do something, you know, I have a task to do, just that would often... prompt the full into the vortex you know I oh I have a purpose now Do you keep that sense of the forward flow, of just the flow of impermanence through all those activities? Suggest a fix for the passage at 46:43

47:26 Solidified. There's a self here and I have to do something. So it becomes very interesting to watch the alternation of being in the forward current and then caught in an eddy of self, a whirlpool of self, and then at a certain point recognizing that and then back in the current again. It became a very visceral way, a visceral feedback. For when I was caught. And so you might, if it's of interest, just play with that. Suggest a fix for the passage at 47:26

48:15 Okay, this is the last of the collage. Suggest a fix for the passage at 48:15

48:32 Have you had the experience sometimes of waking up in the morning and then just for a few moments or a couple of minutes dropping back to sleep again, you know, quick little dream in that space and then again, you know, waking up. And being awake. Is that familiar? Okay, I think that's fairly common. Except for really good yogis who pop up totally awake. Suggest a fix for the passage at 48:32

49:06 So I was having the not so good yogi experience of dropping back to sleep in a little dream. So this was while I was on retreat. Then I was doing walking, walking meditation. And I began to notice just the quickly passing thoughts. You know, that came through. And they weren't disturbing. They were really light. They were not a whole big story. It was just, you know, walking and, you know, a thought passes. And I realized that for the most part, I really was not paying attention to that phenomena because they were not disturbing. It didn't feel like they were pulling me out of the current. It was just like, shh. But when I looked more carefully at those kinds of thoughts, Which happened innumerable times during the day. Suggest a fix for the passage at 49:06

50:08 I realized that for those moments of being lost, it was exactly the same experience as going back into the dream state after waking. It felt exactly the same thing. You're awake and then you're asleep for a couple of moments with the little dream and then you're awake again. So going along, this thought comes through and even if it's quick, If we're not aware of it, in that moment, it's as if we dropped into a momentary dream state. And then we're out and we're back with what's happening. And then I noticed something else about these thoughts. That mostly, or certainly a good many of them, were self -referential in some way. And not particularly in a disturbing way or a big way, but maybe it was planning or... Suggest a fix for the passage at 50:08

51:14 You know, just commenting on something. But many of the thoughts sort of had a sense of self in the content. And so then I realized that for all these times, you know, in walking and moving about the day with all these very many passing thoughts, many of which have some idea of self in them, I realized that I was dreaming myself into existence. I was dreaming the self into existence. And so I started using that phrase just throughout the day. Stop dreaming yourself into existence. But what that takes, and again, I recommend this. This would really refine your practice a lot, not only here on retreat, but in our lives in the world. Give some attention. Set the intention to keep an eye out for these quick thoughts that go by. Whether it's in the sitting or the walking. It's really a fun game because they're happening frequently so Suggest a fix for the passage at 51:14

52:46 it wakes us up frequently if we're actually paying attention to them. It becomes so clear. really, really [silence] That when we're lost in a thought, we're in a dream. It becomes so clear through the observation of that process. Suggest a fix for the passage at 52:46

53:11 So this is another suggestion for practice. And it's another way of understanding or tapping in to the experience of selflessness. Because so much of the sense of self Comes in these dreamlike thoughts. We are dreaming the self into existence. And so in that sense, when we're paying attention to that, we are really waking up from the dream. Suggest a fix for the passage at 53:11

53:54 So these were the topics of interest. Suggest a fix for the passage at 53:54

54:01 I'll just close, I think, with a little reading from Dilgo Kensei Rinpoche, who was one of the greatest of the Tibetan masters of the last century. And his writings are just... Profound and clear and brilliant teacher. He said, The idea of an enduring self has kept you wandering helplessly in the realms of saṃsāra for countless past lifetimes. The idea of an enduring self. It is the very thing that now prevents you from liberating yourself and others from conditioned existence. If you could simply let go of that view of I, You would find it easy to be free and to free others too. Use any practice you do to dissolve this idea of I and the self -oriented motivations that accompany it. So that's really an important line there. As long as that sense of I, sense of self, is there and strong, so many of the motivations in our lives are rooted in that self -center. Suggest a fix for the passage at 54:01

55:26 Use any practice you do to dissolve this idea of I and the self -oriented motivations that accompany it. And this last line is really applicable. Even if you do not succeed in the beginning, keep trying. So, you know, at one point at our center in Barrie, the Inside Meditation Society, we received a letter addressed to the Instant Meditation Society. Suggest a fix for the passage at 55:26

56:09 You might reflect back on Kamala's great talk on patience. This is a process and so everything I talked about is an unfolding process of understanding. Let's sit for just a few minutes. Suggest a fix for the passage at 56:09

56:49 Thank you for listening. To learn how you can support the teachers and Dharma Seed, please visit dharmaseed .org slash donate. Suggest a fix for the passage at 56:49