Desire And Its End.

0:11 Although we're still toward the beginning of the retreat, this evening I'd like to talk about the end of the whole path, where it's going, and how we can actually taste the fruition of the path all along the way. Because it's possible to actually touch or taste the peace and the freedom that comes in the fulfillment of the path. So the French philosopher and political activist and mystic Simone Weil, she wrote, what people are looking for is not wrong, but they are looking for it in the wrong place. And when I read that, it just resonated so deeply with me and my understanding of the work we're all doing. Because although we may call it by different names, we could call it peace or awakening or enlightenment. enlightenment, even love. Really what we're all looking for is happiness. Some deep abiding fulfillment and completion. The problem though is that mostly people are looking for this kind of happiness in the wrong place. Misdirected. Suggest a fix for the passage at 0:11

1:45 And this problem is highlighted in one of the teaching stories of Mullah Nasruddin. Who was a Sufi teaching figure and a combination wise man, madman, fool. And there are lots of stories and you'll probably recognize this one. It's quite a well -known one. So Mullah Nasruddin one time was just scrounging around under a lamppost looking for something. And some friends came along and said, what are you looking for? And he said, well, I lost the key to my house. And they said, where did you lose it? And he said, in the house. So they said, why are you looking under the lamppost? He said, because there's more light here. Suggest a fix for the passage at 1:45

2:41 And it's just this misdirected craving and desire for happiness. We're looking in the wrong place. We're looking in the places that society tells us to look or our conditioning tells us to look. But it's not really where happiness is to be found. Suggest a fix for the passage at 2:41

3:05 So these are some words from the Buddha. When he was addressing... The monks, in his teaching, he would refer to them as bhikkhus. But bhikkhus also has a much wider meaning, a broader meaning than just monk. In its broader meaning, it means everyone on the path to awakening, everyone on the path to enlightenment. And so in that sense, we're all bhikkhus. And it would be helpful when we hear the words of the Buddha, To listen to them as if he's speaking directly to us. He's really addressing us. He said, Bhikkhus, I do not envision even one other fetter, fetter or bond, fettered by which beings go wandering and transmigrating for a long, long time, like the fetter of craving. Suggest a fix for the passage at 3:05

4:11 The Buddha's being very specific here. About that quality of the mind, that binding quality of the mind that keeps us bound to this whole long samsaric journey. Suggest a fix for the passage at 4:11

4:28 So what is craving and how do we experience it in our lives? So craving or desire is the translation in English of the Pāli word taṇhā and the sort of the root meaning of taṇhā. The deeper meaning is thirst. Sometimes it was expressed as the fever of unsatisfied longing. I like those other translations, other meanings, because when we think of thirst or the fever of longing that's unsatisfied, it gives us a very visceral sense of what craving is like, a very visceral sense of the feeling. When the mind is filled with craving. Suggest a fix for the passage at 4:28

5:30 In English, we often use the word craving and desire to mean the same thing. But this can be a little confusing because in English, desire has a wide range of meanings. We use that term in many different ways. And so one meaning of desire is this desire of craving, the thirst, the fever. of unsatisfied longing. It's rooted in greed and attachment. So that is one meaning of desire. But sometimes desire simply means the motivation to do something, the motivation to accomplish something. And so we could say we have a desire for enlightenment or a desire to become more compassionate or a desire for service. So this is a very different mind state than the mind state of craving. Suggest a fix for the passage at 5:30

6:32 So this evening, I'm going to be using these two terms interchangeably, desire and craving. But keep in mind that in other contexts, desire can mean many other things. So don't get confused by my limiting the meaning of desire in just this evening's talk. So the Buddha pointed out some very particular fields or arenas of craving. That misdirect us from the happiness that we're all looking for. And tonight I'd like to explore two of these arenas of craving. Because if we want to free ourselves from the grip of this fever, we have to understand where to look, where to examine, where to investigate. Suggest a fix for the passage at 6:32

7:29 So two of the fields of craving that the Buddha highlighted and I'll be talking about The craving for sense pleasures, the desire for sense pleasures, and what he called the craving for becoming. So the desire for sense pleasures is the most obvious, and it's the one that we're really most familiar with. Suggest a fix for the passage at 7:29

7:56 This desire is for pleasant sights and pleasant sounds and smells and tastes and pleasant sensations in the body. We could also include pleasant mind states. In Buddhism, often the mind is considered the sixth sense, so the five physical senses in the mind. Craving for sense pleasures is this craving or desire to experience all of these different pleasant sense objects. Suggest a fix for the passage at 7:56

8:33 What makes this so interesting to me is that our engagement with desire for sense pleasures is just our usual engagement with life. With the world, enjoying and wanting what's pleasurable and trying to avoid as best as possible what's unpleasant or disagreeable. Suggest a fix for the passage at 8:33

9:00 It seems so natural and so normal to do this. This is just how we're living. And it is, in a way, normal and natural. But right here is where the Buddha begins a very revealing analysis of this whole situation. Suggest a fix for the passage at 9:00

9:23 The situation of being enmeshed in the world of sense pleasures. He didn't condemn them as being sinful. Rather, in a way, his very scientific methodology for investigating experience and investigating the mind, it led him to ask some very basic questions about these kinds of experiences. The first question he asked was, what is the gratification in the world? Suggest a fix for the passage at 9:23

10:08 That's a fundamental question. We're living in the world. We're engaged in the world. What is the gratification in the world? As a young prince, before he left home on his quest for enlightenment, he thoroughly enjoyed all the various strands of sense pleasures and very elaborate descriptions of all the ways he was enjoying himself. So these pleasures were not foreign to him. This was not outside his realm of experience. Then as it's told in the suttas, and sutta is the Pāli word for discourse. So as it's told in the suttas, the thought came to him, whatever pleasure and joy there is in the world, that is the gratification in the world. He was talking about the gratification of joy and pleasure. Suggest a fix for the passage at 10:08

11:08 If there were no pleasure and joy in the world, beings would not become enamored of it. Okay, so we're beginning to see something here. Why do we become enamored? Because we're gratified, and it is gratifying to experience the joys and pleasures of life. Suggest a fix for the passage at 11:08

11:35 So it's precisely because there is joy, and precisely because there is pleasure in this realm, That we desire and crave these sense pleasures. If they weren't enjoyable, we wouldn't be craving them. So that's part of our experience. That's part of the reality. Suggest a fix for the passage at 11:35

12:01 But rather than simply listening to the Buddha's words about this, it's always helpful to take the words and apply them to our own lives, to ask ourselves the same question that the Bodhisattva, the Buddha, before his enlightenment. To ask the same questions of ourselves that he asked of himself. So I think an interesting exploration would be to consider, to reflect for each one of us, what is the gratification in our lives? What different experiences of body and mind do we become enamored of that we want, that we desire? Suggest a fix for the passage at 12:01

12:49 When we look both in ourselves and in the world around us, we see that our cravings and gratifications seem to come in a very wide range of intensities and frequency. Now on one end of the spectrum, there might be obsessive cravings that totally consume our lives. And maybe we've gone through periods of this ourselves or we see it in others where the mind becomes obsessed with a particular craving. So this might include things like addictions to food or to sex or to alcohol or to drugs or to success or to power or fame or wealth or possessions or comfort. Or even love. When the mind becomes obsessive in its craving, we really want to understand that fever of unsatisfied longing. And we see, when it's on that obsessive level, how damaging it is. And it's interesting, a good part of the world's great literature is precisely about these very human passions. You know, so it's not... It certainly was not limited to the Buddhist time, and it's not limited to any small subset of people. These are kind of universal, strong driving forces in people's lives. Suggest a fix for the passage at 12:49

14:45 In many ways, this Western culture is just feeding that. There are two ads over the years which really have jumped out at me. One was in a storefront in New York. It was just like a sign. It said, don't let desire pass you by. Suggest a fix for the passage at 14:45

15:12 Another one. Now, cigarette ads are no longer in magazines, but in the days that they were, there was one ad for some cigarette or other. This very handsome and beautiful couple were there with a cigarette in their hands. The caption was, I don't let anything stand in the way of my pleasure. So these are the messages that we've been getting throughout our lives. Don't let desire pass you by. Or we have many desires that may not be on the obsessive level. We may not be totally consumed by them, but still they may be a driving force for many of the actions in our lives. So it's illuminating just to pay attention to the various things we crave as we go through our lives, not to just be in the habitual momentum of it. And this is the great power of mindfulness. As we learn to pay attention to what's going on here on retreat and in our life, we can begin to see and notice, oh, this is where the craving starts to arise. Suggest a fix for the passage at 15:12

16:35 We can also watch desires. They may not be obsessive and they may not even be powerful forces in our lives. I've noticed in a very interesting way sometimes just noticing desires simply as these really quick light passing thoughts in the mind. And it's interesting to see how even a light passing thought can be deeply rooted. So I'll just give you an example. I was on retreat, and this has happened more than once on one retreat, but I'm thinking of one particular time. So I was on retreat, and I was doing walking meditation, and the thought came to my mind, oh, a cup of tea, that would be nice. And I noted it, just, oh, wanting, wanting. Take a few more steps, oh, a cup of tea. Noted, I was just wanting, wanting. Cup of tea. Wanting, wanting. I don't know, I must have noted it ten times. And then went for the cup of tea. You know, you sometimes see how a tiny little blade of grass can push through cement. So the craving or the desire can be a very small, even trivial or insignificant thing. But the power of craving, the power of desire, is very deeply rooted in our minds. It's almost like a primal energy in us. Suggest a fix for the passage at 16:35

18:24 It's also interesting to watch how seemingly trivial momentary desires can sometimes, through repetition, strengthen into strong habits. At first, it just may be a passing thought, but with repetition, it becomes more than a quickly passing thought. I want this to I need this to I must have this. So again, retreats are a great time to expand one's repertoire of stories because our minds are so entertaining if we're watching. So I was in the habit, as maybe many of you are, every morning I really look forward to that first cup of coffee. I said, ah, yeah. So it kind of gets the day going. So I was doing a selfie treat in my home. And every morning I get up and really, you know, it's a real sense of pleasure. And then one morning I get up and the coffee grinder didn't work. And the first word that came into my mind, it's almost embarrassing to say this. Okay, get up, looking forward to the coffee. Coffee grinder doesn't work. The first word that comes to my mind is disaster. Suggest a fix for the passage at 18:24

20:06 And I meant it. I wasn't making fun of myself. It felt like a disaster. Now in the realm of human disasters. But that's what our mind does. One yogi in an interview quite a few years ago came into an interview and was Sharing that great discovery and phrased it, the mind has no pride. It'll do anything. It'll say anything. But it is helpful to have a sense of humor about it all. Suggest a fix for the passage at 20:06

20:50 Now, with all these different patterns of craving, whether it's the obsessive kind or a little less than obsessive but still pretty demanding or just momentary thoughts when they become habits, all these different realms of craving, And desire, they're so familiar to us that they're mostly invisible. You know, we just take it to be who we are and how life is and this is normal and we're not paying attention to it because it's just so much part of who we take ourselves to be until we bring the power of mindfulness, the power of awareness to this deeply conditioned pattern in all of us. And that's why the Buddha highlighted he didn't see any other fetter as strong as craving that binds us to this wheel of saṃsāra. So we want to take those words to heart. This is something that's really important to look at in our lives. And the retreat environment is very conducive to doing this. And we can start by really examining or paying attention To the first thing the Buddha mentioned, to seeing the gratification that we feel in the enjoyment of different sense pleasures. So just as an experiment, you might notice during the day what little experiences give you moments of delight. What do you become enamored of? So for me it was that early morning coffee. Maybe it's the lunch meal or a cup of tea. Or a hot shower. When you get into the hot shower, it's so pleasant. Or that very delectable moment. This is probably the highlight of the day, is when you finally lie down at night in your bed. After a long day and the body's... It's a sense delight. It's a sense pleasure. Suggest a fix for the passage at 20:50

23:19 So it would be very interesting and instructive. To notice the pleasure that's associated with all these experiences. And then to see, to look, is there a subtle level of craving that's in the mind for them? So it's a chance for us to explore, a chance for us to investigate in real time, not as an abstraction or theoretically, but we're really seeing it in those moments of enjoyment. Okay, is there craving there? Even on a subtle level. Suggest a fix for the passage at 23:19

23:58 One place where I saw this, again on retreat, Suggest a fix for the passage at 23:58

24:06 was just doing walking meditation and very back in my body and just being aware of the movement and the lifting and the moving forward and the placing. So very settled back, very mindful. And then the lunch bell rings. And I noticed that I could be walking just as slowly. I could feel myself being pulled into the lunchroom. Just this kind of subtle anticipation of the enjoyment. So this is the kind of level I'm talking about on retreat. The beauty of this is you have nothing else to do. You have no other job. And so you can really devote yourself to this very subtle inquiry of how these forces are working in us. Because out in the world, in the busyness of the world, in our activities, It's hard to be quiet enough and still enough to really see all this clearly. Suggest a fix for the passage at 24:06

25:15 We can also investigate the same conditioning in the enjoyment we have of pleasant fantasies in the mind. So it's not only the physical pleasures, but really to watch the same process at work in the mind. You know, it's... Not uncommon at all, and it's probably pretty universal at one time or another, to get carried away by enticing sexual fantasies or food desires or fantasies about relationships, like Bonnie was talking the other night, the Vipassanā romance. It's all just creations in our own mind, but it's so easy to get caught up and carried away by pleasant thought forms, pleasant fantasies. Suggest a fix for the passage at 25:15

26:11 At some point, as we investigate this and explore this realm of craving for sense pleasures, desire for sense pleasures, we might resonate with the Buddha's words when he said, whatever gratification there is in the world, that I have found. Suggest a fix for the passage at 26:11

26:34 I think this is really important. Suggest a fix for the passage at 26:34

26:40 Are you still looking for some new hit, some new taste, some new sensation, some new thought? Or do we realize, yeah, we've already experienced the gratification in the world. We've all had innumerable pleasurable experiences in the body, in the mind. Whatever gratification there is in the world, that I have found. But the Buddha did not stop here. This was just kind of the first step of kind of becoming aware of the ground of our lives. This desire for these sense pleasures and the gratification that comes from them. He then went on in his exploration. He said, Bhikkhus, I then set out seeking the dangers of the world. Danger here is a translation of the Pāli word adhinava. This might also be translated in, I kind of like these more colloquial translations. It's the drawbacks of things or the downside, the disadvantages. Suggest a fix for the passage at 26:40

28:03 There are very few things that have just an upside to them. But the Buddha is particularly pointing out or encouraging the investigation, okay, what is the downside or the drawbacks of the gratification in the world? He continued, whatever dangers or downsides there are in the world, That I have also found. Namely, that the world is impermanent and because of that, ultimately unreliable, subject to change. Suggest a fix for the passage at 28:03

28:44 So we all know this conceptually. We could probably go up to anybody on the street in any town in America and ask them, do things change? This is not an esoteric truth. Everybody would say, yes, things change. But we're not living it because if we really were living it, if we really understood it deeply, we wouldn't get attached to things because we would know that whatever it is that we're attached to or craving or desire is going to change and that's the drawback, that's the downside. Suggest a fix for the passage at 28:44

29:28 But how many of us in times when things are going well? And times are good when we're enjoying the various pleasures, as we often are. For many of us, perhaps most of us, we lead pretty privileged lives, given what occurs in so many parts of the world. But even if we have difficulties in our lives, still there are many times when we are enjoying things and enjoying the pleasures. How many of us have the interest... And even the courage to really ask the question of ourselves, well, in the midst of this, even as we're enjoying, well, what is the downside of this? What is the drawback? So there are several ways of understanding the drawbacks of sense pleasures. So it's good to become aware of them and reflect on them so we can integrate that understanding into the choices we make. First, we can reflect on the fact, That in the end, sense pleasures do not deliver on their promise of happiness. And we're enamored of them because we think this is going to make us happy. Suggest a fix for the passage at 29:28

31:07 But these sense pleasures, the happiness comes because of the pleasant feelings associated with them. And they do bring happiness for a short period of time. So it's not to deny that. They do bring us a kind of joy and happiness. But precisely because they're so impermanent, they're so changeable, they're like bubbles in a stream. We have these moments of enjoyment and the happiness that may come from that, and then it's gone. How many pleasures, how many sense pleasures have you already enjoyed in your lives? Innumerable. Innumerable. Suggest a fix for the passage at 31:07

31:55 But they're continually changing. They're continually disappearing. And so we go after another one and another one and another one, anticipating the next one. And all too soon, our lives are at an end. And we go chasing after the illusory happiness of these sense pleasures. And unless we start paying attention to the downside, to the drawbacks, we are just living in that forward momentum of desire and craving. Without ever coming to a place of completion. To a place of real peace. To a place of real contentment. So how much of our lives and our energy do we want to spend in this endless pursuit? This is a meaningful question for all of us in how we're choosing to live our lives. Suggest a fix for the passage at 31:55

32:55 Now as lay people, I don't think there are any monastics here. Mostly lay people. We are living in the world engaged with all kinds of sense pleasures. This is our lives and there's nothing at all wrong with that. But still, some deep part of us, of each one of us, we already know on some deep level that it's not going to bring the fulfillment that we're looking for. Suggest a fix for the passage at 32:55

33:33 And it's clear that you understand this. Because you decided to come here for this week rather than a beach in the Caribbean. Suggest a fix for the passage at 33:33

33:43 So we want to honor that understanding that's already within us. We have a certain level of understanding and wisdom with regard to this. And it's good to reflect on that and to honor that. Suggest a fix for the passage at 33:43

33:59 So the first drawback of relying on the gratification of sense desires for our genuine happiness Is that it doesn't actually accomplish our aims. So it's good just to really let that in. The second danger is that when craving becomes a strong or obsessive force in the mind, it often leads us to very unwholesome actions, creating the unwholesome karma which just brings a lot of suffering to ourselves and others. Suggest a fix for the passage at 33:59

34:44 So one time Saida Upandita, one of my Burmese teachers, was giving this talk on sense desires and just this whole rap. And he went on and on and on. It was all in translation. So he was talking in Burmese, and he must have talked for about 10 minutes. And then the translator translated in four words this whole 10 -minute rap. Suggest a fix for the passage at 34:44

35:20 Lust cracks the brain. Suggest a fix for the passage at 35:20

35:29 It is absolutely true. Suggest a fix for the passage at 35:29

35:38 I'm sure you can all think of times when the mind was filled with lust for something, whether it's sexual lust or lust for anything. We go crazy. And how many really harmful acts have taken place, harm to others, because of this force? Lust does crack the brain. So we want to pay attention to this. This is a powerful force in the mind and in our lives. We have to take responsibility for that to learn how to use, even as we're engaged in the gratification of different sense pleasures, we really have to pay attention that it's done in a careful, responsible way. Suggest a fix for the passage at 35:38

36:38 It takes a lot of interest and sometimes courage For us to really look deeply into our hearts, into our minds, to see these patterns. So that we're not just going through our life on the momentum of habitual conditioning. You know, we've all been conditioned in so many different ways, some of which are wholesome, but some of which are not so wholesome. The only way to become free in the midst of all this is if we become aware, if we really see in our minds. This is leading to a good result. This is not so skillful. This is not wholesome. It takes interest. We have to be interested in doing that. Sometimes it's challenging to really see our own patterns in this very deep way. I've talked a lot about this first arena of craving, the craving, the desire for sense pleasures, the gratification that comes from it that's real. There is a gratification, but also the examination of the drawbacks or the downside. So we come to a balanced experience of them. The second type of craving is more subtle. A desire for sense pleasures in one way is quite obvious to us. But the second kind of craving mostly goes unnoticed. And this is what the Buddha called craving for becoming. The basic urge or desire to become this or that. And we can experience this in some very specific ways. So one familiar pattern of this craving for becoming is the obsessively planning mind. You ever get caught up in just endless plannings? Suggest a fix for the passage at 36:38

38:50 Imagining ourselves in some future situation. And then engaging in all the thoughts and actions that will get us there. So just notice, being on retreat and watching your minds in such a systematic way, you'll see many examples of this, of how often we get lost in mind creations of a future self. A lot. Suggest a fix for the passage at 38:50

39:25 A good part of our mental activity is just that. It's the desire for becoming. It's the craving for becoming, whatever it may be. I'll do this. I'll go there. I'll become this. So being lost in all these thought fantasies about our future is just that kind of craving for becoming. Suggest a fix for the passage at 39:25

39:55 Keep in mind that this is very different. Then mindfully planning for things that need to be done. So I'm not suggesting at all that all planning is unskillful. No. In our lives we do need to plan, but there's a big difference between being lost in the future fantasy and being grounded in the moment. Really being embodied and grounded and knowing, oh yeah, this needs to be done, I'll plan for it. But with doing it, From a place of groundedness in the here and now, we're not lost in some mind fantasy. Suggest a fix for the passage at 39:55

40:41 Another way of experiencing this energy, this craving for becoming, is noticing the many times that expectation arises in the mind. One of the biggest hindrances in meditation practice, as well as in our lives, is being caught up in expectation. Suggest a fix for the passage at 40:41

41:10 It can happen on a lot of levels. It can be kind of a distant expectation. But on a more subtle and pervasive level, the expectation can be happening moment to moment. Suggest a fix for the passage at 41:10

41:28 Something to really investigate for yourselves because this is a very common experience in meditation that is mostly unnoticed. And that is as we're meditating and just with our experience, Moment after moment. Notice how frequently, it's probably the norm, of how the mind is with this moment but leaning into the next. Energetically. It's kind of this subtle, you know, we're with this breath in order to get to the next breath. Or we're with this sensation in order for it to become something. It's a very common pattern. As if the next moment Somehow is going to resolve everything. Forgetting that the next moment is just as impermanent as this moment. So it's not going to offer any resolution of anything. But we're so habituated to this craving for becoming in order for this, in order for this. And that's what keeps us caught. Suggest a fix for the passage at 41:28

42:51 The problem with expectation, there are many problems with it. But it inevitably brings agitation to the mind. So this is something that would really be helpful for you to observe. But what makes certain kinds of expectations, especially on retreat, so seductive is they often come masquerading as dharma aspirations. Yeah, well I should be leaning into this because it's to accomplish some noble experience. Suggest a fix for the passage at 42:51

43:34 But here's something for you to really parse clearly, which is the difference between aspiration and expectation. Suggest a fix for the passage at 43:34

43:48 Aspirations can inspire us. We have an aspiration for awakening. We have an aspiration to become more compassionate. It sets a direction for us. So aspirations can be beautiful and ennobling. Suggest a fix for the passage at 43:48

44:07 Expectation leads us into... The agitation of hope and fear. So we get tossed about by those two polarities. When there's expectation, we're hoping that it'll happen and fear that it won't. We're just going back and forth. That mindset is very different. It's a very different experience than aspiration. And it'll be very helpful for you to get clear about that difference so you don't confuse them. So the next time you feel Frustrated in your practice, where you just feel like there's some agitation in the mind. That's going to come. It comes for everybody at different times. When you're feeling the agitation, when you're feeling this sense of unease, notice and explore the expectation and the craving behind it. Something I talked about in one of the groups this morning. This is something I've just found so helpful in my practice, and that is beginning to appreciate the feeling of struggle as helpful feedback rather than being a problem. Mostly when we're struggling with something, whether it's in meditation or just in life, it's a very uncomfortable feeling when we're caught in a struggle. Suggest a fix for the passage at 44:07

45:50 But actually, that feeling is telling us something really important. And what it's telling us is that something is going on in our experience that we're not accepting. Because if we were accepting it, we wouldn't be struggling. A million examples come up in the meditation. You're sitting and you're struggling with some discomfort in the body. What is the struggle telling you? That you're not relaxed back and open to the unpleasantness. You're expecting it or wanting it to go away. So we're in a struggle. Maybe you're sitting and for the whole sitting the mind's just wandering. You know, just a run of thoughts and you're getting frustrated with that. What is that frustration? What is that struggle telling you? That you're not accepting of the fact that the mind is racing. So instead of seeing it as a problem, oh, okay, racing mind. We just settle back and open to whatever it is. Suggest a fix for the passage at 45:50

47:03 The desire of expectation, wanting something to be different than it is, also feeds the comparing mind. That's one that's really a great torment. Our mind is just caught in comparing ourselves with others. Sometimes yogis get into competitive sitting. That person behind me. They were in the hall when I came in. They're still sitting there when I'm leaving. Or whatever. The mind can spin out in a million different ways. So there's a big difference between being inspired by someone else's practice or life and getting caught up in comparing and self -judgment. So I had this big time in the first retreat. I did with Saida Upandita. This was in 1984. We hadn't met him before. He came here, taught a three -month course. And he's a very demanding teacher. So it was a high -pressured retreat. We were seeing him every day. We had a report on our experience. Suggest a fix for the passage at 47:03

48:22 We had to report how many hours we sat and walked. And the aim was 14 hours of sitting. So it was intense. And I was going through a lot of stuff that was coming up for me. Then I would look around and there were some yogis who clearly were doing so well. It was so easeful. I'm in all kinds of struggle. I just saw my mind just going crazy, comparing myself and a lot of self -judgment and a lot of suffering. It was springtime. Then after weeks of this, this was not just a passing phenomenon, weeks of really suffering from all this comparing. I was just walking right outside the hall here. And right next to the wall, the flowers were coming up in the springtime. And I saw that some flowers had come up and were already blooming. Some had emerged, but the flowers hadn't opened. Some were just poking out of the earth. And that was a great teaching for me. I realized, yeah, we're all unfolding in our own way, in our own time. And one flower doesn't compare itself to the other. Oh, that one has bloomed already. Why haven't I? So sometimes nature can be a great teacher for us if we just tune into the harmony of nature and try to translate that into our own lives. Suggest a fix for the passage at 48:22

50:00 So one of the easiest places to notice this craving for becoming, this leaning into the next moment, is to become aware of the very common feeling of rushing. Suggest a fix for the passage at 50:00

50:18 We're often rushing, even here on retreat where there's no place to go or get to. Suggest a fix for the passage at 50:18

50:29 Rushing is when we're ahead of ourselves. Our mind is ahead of ourselves. It's almost energetically we're toppling forward into whatever we think we have to be doing. It doesn't have to do with speed. It can be rushing, moving very slowly. but there's that. Or we can be rushing, moving very quickly. There's a great line in one of the short stories of James Joyce in the collection The Dubliners. It's a famous line. You probably will recognize it. It said, Mr. Duffy lived a short distance from his body. How often are we living a short distance from our body? A lot. So just in your time here, if you remember, really pay attention to that. So you pick up. That's really a craving for becoming. We're not back in the moment simply open to this moment's experience. It's that craving for something in the future. And our whole energy body is responding to that. Suggest a fix for the passage at 50:29

51:46 In this process of leaning into the next moment, it can happen in sitting, it can happen in moving, when we're rushing, we're forgetting. Just an essential understanding of the whole practice. And that is that liberation is not about getting anything. It's not about getting. It's not about craving. It's not about holding on or clinging. It's all about letting go. And we can let go in any moment. You don't have to wait till the ninth day of the retreat to let go. Why not let go now? In every moment, that's settled back. So the Buddha gave some very specific and challenging instructions for this. Suggest a fix for the passage at 51:46

52:51 So really take this in because he's just saying very directly how to live the awakened life. But it's challenging. He said, not reviving the past, not hoping to be in the future. Instead, with insight, See each arising state, not craving after past experience, not setting one's heart on future ones, not bound up in desire and craving. It's Suggest a fix for the passage at 52:51

53:35 pretty profound. And you've probably noticed in the days you've been here already how much of our mental activity, a great preponderance of our mental activity has to do with past and future. I don't know the percentage, but it's a big percentage of what our minds are doing. Reviving the past, hoping for the future. Not reviving the past, not hoping to be in the future. Instead, with insight, see each a rising state. It's so simple, but it's not easy. Not craving after past experience, not setting one's heart on future ones. That's a big one. Not bound up in desire and craving. So what would it be like? In your time here, to actually practice that. Take those words. These are powerful instructions from the Buddha, powerful teachings. You can use your time here to really experiment, to challenge yourself and to notice when the mind is reviving the past or longing for something in the future and then to just come back in the present with each arising state. Suggest a fix for the passage at 53:35

54:57 Even if it's just for short periods of time. For each one of us to get a taste of the freedom of this can then inspire further practice. The great Indian sage Ramana Maharshi had a very succinct expression of this. He said, try to be less, not more. Our whole life energy often is about becoming more and the whole practice is becoming less. It's like this. Rather than that. So we can watch for that. As you go through the day, there'll be many and countless times when you can play with that understanding. Suggest a fix for the passage at 54:57

55:53 So in the early morning of the Buddha's enlightenment, he was sitting under the Bodhi tree and it said that when the morning star first appeared and he had attained to full understanding, to full enlightenment, it said that these are some of the words that came to his mind. Realized is the unconditioned. You could say the highest peace. Realized is the unconditioned. Achieved is the end of craving. Suggest a fix for the passage at 55:53

56:29 He's saying so clearly the nature of the liberated mind. The end of craving. So we can practice that. We can practice it in any moment and we can also aspire for its complete fulfillment. I think it's helpful just to have this very large framework of understanding of what the practice is about because it's so easy to get caught up in the momentary struggles and techniques and the minutia of the practice, often losing sight of the big picture and what it's really all about. Suggest a fix for the passage at 56:29

57:16 Realized is the unconditioned. Achieved is the end of craving. So, I'd like to close with just... A few lines from the Sufi poet Hafez. Suggest a fix for the passage at 57:16

57:34 Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you. Suggest a fix for the passage at 57:34

57:47 Let it catch up and this is the way. Let's just sit for a few moments. Suggest a fix for the passage at 57:47