Afflictive Emotions (22 February 2008)

0:01 It'll go kind of under your glasses. Okay. It's the Madonna mic. Okay. Start dancing. Okay. Report an error in the passage at 0:01 Highlight the passage at 0:01

0:19 I feel like Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton, depending. Report an error in the passage at 0:19 Highlight the passage at 0:19

0:36 And I think I'm supposed to share a little bit about myself, a little bit, which I think will work very well with the issue of pride, because it actually shows the level of my pride. My name used to be Hawkins Mitchell, but before that it was Lamont Mitchell, and I changed it when I was 30 because I wanted a name that sounded very impressive. Report an error in the passage at 0:36 Highlight the passage at 0:36

1:04 And I was in the middle of living in New York and getting lots of degrees. And I usually, in the course of a conversation with someone, am able in the first five minutes to let them know that I have a PhD from Columbia and a degree from Yale and I went to Oxford. And I tell all this and I do it so subtly, I hope, that people are impressed without knowing that I'm working, you know, I'm doing my pride thing. Report an error in the passage at 1:04 Highlight the passage at 1:04

1:33 So when I was invited to talk about pride or arrogance, sadly it fits so well. But I'm hoping this is going to be a conversation. This is very sort of weird. Does this have to stay on, this ear thing? It does have to stay on? Okay, can this move away a little bit? Report an error in the passage at 1:33 Highlight the passage at 1:33

1:53 Can I? That's probably dangerous. Is this okay now? Oh, this is what's doing it. Okay, great. Okay, there we go. There we go. That's much better. Thank you so much. What's your name? Mary. Mary. So this is going to be a conversation, but I'm going to do most of the talking, which is actually a position that I prefer. Report an error in the passage at 1:53 Highlight the passage at 1:53

2:21 But I'm hoping that there's going to be enough time for all of us to say something about ourselves. And, you know, the conversation is pride or arrogance, which I think most of us sort of recognize as being an asset. Arrogance being an aspect of pride. It's like you're prideful and then you sort of act it. And that's arrogance. And most of us have learned not to show arrogance, but we hide our pride. Report an error in the passage at 2:21 Highlight the passage at 2:21

2:50 So let's start. And by the way, since we started a little late, can we end at quarter to nine? If that will give you time to sort of ask questions and so on and so forth. Report an error in the passage at 2:50 Highlight the passage at 2:50

3:07 Some of you, I understand, may not be Buddhists. So let me take you to the beginning of how this all started for us with this particular Buddha. You know, people say the Buddha like they speak of Christ, as if he was the one and only. But he was the fourth of what are to be many. And there were many before him and there were many after him. Report an error in the passage at 3:07 Highlight the passage at 3:07

3:33 But he defined himself by telling us the four noble truths, which are that life is suffering, which at this stage of the gamma, I would imagine most of you understand that. Report an error in the passage at 3:33 Highlight the passage at 3:33

3:45 Its cause is karma and delusions, and I would imagine karma is sort of well known and delusions are sort of understood. So if you have any questions about any of these words, please let me know. Report an error in the passage at 3:45 Highlight the passage at 3:45

3:58 There are remedies. know. Report an error in the passage at 3:58 Highlight the passage at 3:58

4:00 Lama Tsongkhapa Endless eons. And since you're here and I'm here, and unless some of you are Buddhas in hiding or Bodhisattvas, we still haven't gotten it. So hopefully the next time we meet we'll be in a pure land and that will be soon. So let's see if some of this stuff works. And if you get there before any of us, remember us, those of you who are here. Report an error in the passage at 4:00 Highlight the passage at 4:00

4:56 We're talking about pride. There are going to be handouts. okay? Good. Report an error in the passage at 4:56 Highlight the passage at 4:56

4:59 They're going to be lost. Lots of stuff. Venerable Chuki invited me to do this several months ago and I've been very excited about it and I did lots of reading and lots of stacks of stuff. It's reduced to this, but I'm hoping that you'll... Do you remember when you were children and you'd take home these huge pieces of paper and give them to your mother, you know, and she'd tack them up on the refrigerator and whatever? Report an error in the passage at 4:59 Highlight the passage at 4:59

5:24 Well, we're going to give you pieces of paper to take home and hopefully you'll do something with them, maybe. Remember this conversation. Anyway, we're talking about the noble truths and we're talking about, and I just messed up, here we go. And we're talking about the principle delusions. Pride is one of six root delusions. Report an error in the passage at 5:24 Highlight the passage at 5:24

5:52 The other five are, and somebody wants a seat. Oh, there's plenty of seats in here, yes, yes. The other five are greed or desirous attachment, anger, ignorance, doubt and deluded view. Okay? Report an error in the passage at 5:52 Highlight the passage at 5:52

6:14 Now we're talking about pride. So we won't go through those. You're having some of these Friday night lectures have been about this. I'm going to do something so she can kind of, she's had her food. So I'm going to do this thing so she can kind of like, kind of go to sleep. Just a moment please. Report an error in the passage at 6:14 Highlight the passage at 6:14

6:34 Oh, I see, I see. Can we do this again just as soon as I take care of... Okay, there you go. There we go. Okay, thank you. Report an error in the passage at 6:34 Highlight the passage at 6:34

6:44 By the way, there's a reason why she's here with me. She's my TA and I'll explain that in a minute. Remember your teaching assistants? Yeah. Pride is the mental factor that grasps at the inflated feeling of being superior. It is a form of arrogance that puts yourself above others. You can generate pride in relationship to your beauty, wealth, family, knowledge, intelligence, etc. You can also generate pride if you're poor and uneducated and whatever. Report an error in the passage at 6:44 Highlight the passage at 6:44

7:18 We have all sorts of ways of generating pride. And people who say, oh, I have no pride, that might be a pride too. So there are all sorts of ways of being prideful. And one doesn't think that it's bad for you, that it stops you in your spiritual development, but it does. Report an error in the passage at 7:18 Highlight the passage at 7:18

7:38 When you approach the practice of Dharma with pride in your knowledge, etc., your progress stops. Lama Zopa, I think, said this. Pride prevents you from learning from others. And the delusion of pride is based on the insanity of ego grasping and is quite distinct from self-confidence and self-esteem. Report an error in the passage at 7:38 Highlight the passage at 7:38

8:04 In order to kind of give us a clarity on this, we're going to have our first handout. Venerable Choki will... Yes. And I would ask you, you're going to receive these handouts face down. Please don't look at them until we've all got them, okay? Yes. Doesn't this sound like... Yes. Yes. Report an error in the passage at 8:04 Highlight the passage at 8:04

8:32 Pride is the mental factor that grasps at the inflated feeling of being superior. It is a form of... Am I going too fast? Report an error in the passage at 8:32 Highlight the passage at 8:32

8:47 It is a form of arrogance that puts yourself above others. And Venerable Amy said that she printed 35 and in case we had any more, she'd have to run downstairs. Report an error in the passage at 8:47 Highlight the passage at 8:47

9:03 We have enough 35, don't we? Report an error in the passage at 9:03 Highlight the passage at 9:03

9:16 Does everyone have one? Okay, now you can turn it over. This is a clarity, let's see, is that the right one? have enough 35, don't we? Report an error in the passage at 9:16 Highlight the passage at 9:16

9:28 Yes, yes, yes. Now for those of you who didn't get the definition, that's a pretty clear statement about what pride is. It's not just that you're in, you know, what is it, first class? But it really is sweet when your friends are walking past, you know. Report an error in the passage at 9:28 Highlight the passage at 9:28

9:53 Great. So you'll have more of those. But I think, you know, what does it say? A picture's worth a thousand words? out. Report an error in the passage at 9:53 Highlight the passage at 9:53

10:00 Okay, so the seed of delusion is in the nature of imprints on the continuity of consciousness. What this means is, is that how many of you, how many of you are not sure that you believe in karma? Report an error in the passage at 10:00 Highlight the passage at 10:00

10:23 How many of you are not sure that you've been here endless, endless eons? There's never been a time when you haven't been here. Okay, more. Okay, right. All right. Yeah, good. Report an error in the passage at 10:23 Highlight the passage at 10:23

10:36 you are not answering because you're scared? Okay. Anyway. Report an error in the passage at 10:36 Highlight the passage at 10:36

10:45 Pride, what this particular definition states is the fact that we've created imprints over time which have helped and supported us this particular life to get through it. think pride comes out of hurt, actually. That you've created this sort of... I mean, I remember the first person who ever called me a nigger. Report an error in the passage at 10:45 Highlight the passage at 10:45

11:07 I went home and I said to my mother, because I didn't know what it was, but he looked so happy and he was such a bad guy that I knew that it was something bad. His name was Jimmy Campbell. Report an error in the passage at 11:07 Highlight the passage at 11:07

11:18 And for those who are Irish, I'm going to have to say something negative, but please understand that it's not racist or whatever, anti-Irish. Report an error in the passage at 11:18 Highlight the passage at 11:18

11:29 So I said to my mother, Jimmy Campbell called me a nigger. And in which, you know, my mother knew, of course, that this was inevitable, it was going to happen. All of your parents have known that you would come home one day and say something because you were growing up in the world and they had to be prepared for this. Report an error in the passage at 11:29 Highlight the passage at 11:29

11:46 So my mother said, well, when he says that to you again, you call him a patty. That's the negative thing I had to tell. Well, I, of course, knew nothing about what a patty was. It's a hamburger patty. So I thought, what is this going to do? You know, how is this going to work? But it worked. I said, he called, because yesterday he had called me a nigger and I had been stunned a little hurt and the next day he said, well, I can maybe, so he did it again. But I said, well, you're a paddy. Report an error in the passage at 11:46 Highlight the passage at 11:46

12:15 And I saw this look on his face and I knew that it worked. But that's the beginning, that's the pain, that's the scab and the bandage that goes on it and then one begins to be prideful in order to sort of, you know, like the phrase sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. That's the kind of a prideful remark that you use because somebody has just called you a name and it hurts and so you say this other thing, you know. Report an error in the passage at 12:15 Highlight the passage at 12:15

12:40 So, and I'm sure all of us remember someone who hurt us when we were young and you never It was the same again. That's what it's called growing up. Report an error in the passage at 12:40 Highlight the passage at 12:40

12:58 Lama Zopa writes, To make it impossible for delusions to arise, you must eradicate their seed. So it's, you know, perhaps after this conversation you'll go home and you'll reflect on pride and maybe you won't sort of do a prideful thing. But it's still there. It's still there. So what you have to do is, you have to struggle and work to get rid of the seed, to pull it up at its root. And we'll have some suggestions as to how to do that. Report an error in the passage at 12:58 Highlight the passage at 12:58

13:41 I have a friend, but we don't really talk very much anymore because after a while I realized I couldn't have this conversation with him. And he said, and maybe you have friends like this, or maybe you feel the same way, and he said anyway, you know, And he's not a Buddhist. So I said, well, what are your options? Report an error in the passage at 13:41 Highlight the passage at 13:41

14:18 And he said, well... And he didn't know, you know, the hell realms, the animal realm, human realm, blah, blah, blah, blah. He just figured he was going to get enlightened. I remember when I first spoke with my first teacher, I said to him, I'd like enlightenment. And I thought, let me see. I'm driving down the freeway, taking him to the airplane. And I want, I think I can get it in seven years. Report an error in the passage at 14:18 Highlight the passage at 14:18

14:45 And he laughed and he said, okay, we'll just say the mantra and we'll talk later. Report an error in the passage at 14:45 Highlight the passage at 14:45

15:02 my life. seven years is nothing. We've been doing this for a long time, and it's been, by the way, longer than seven years since that remark was made. Report an error in the passage at 15:02 Highlight the passage at 15:02

15:12 Anyway, but let's talk about precious human life, because you often hear in Buddhism about our precious human life and how you can't waste this moment and how you have both human life, you have sensibilities, you have leisure time. This is a Friday Friday night. night, I I mean, mean there there's a lot of are people all over the world who are working, who don't get off until 9 or 10 and then they go home and go to sleep and then they go We have this extraordinary life, we live in this extraordinary city, but you're here, so that means something. Report an error in the passage at 15:12 Highlight the passage at 15:12

15:43 That means something. Suppose you were born an animal. Bodhi, her name is Bodhi or Bodhisattva, was abused slightly when she was young because she was supposed to be a show dog and she didn't work out and something else happened. She couldn't be a stud or if you're a girl, are you a stud? Some of the girls I met are studs. A breeder, oh wow. Report an error in the passage at 15:43 Highlight the passage at 15:43

16:10 Anyway, so she was just sort of ignored. But let's talk a little bit about, What happens if you die and you don't come back as a human being? Or if you come back as a human being, suppose you come back as a human being in a place you don't want to be. But I picked up some statistics for you on spiders and crickets and sharks. Report an error in the passage at 16:10 Highlight the passage at 16:10

16:32 Just to give you a little idea. Because you know the death process. You've died and you sort of see a golden light and you follow it and eventually you get tired of following it. You get scared because you don't know where you are and you want out because this dream of yours is like the real thing. And so you seek an exit and you see a glow which is something having sex and there you go. Report an error in the passage at 16:32 Highlight the passage at 16:32

17:02 Well, if what you're seeing happens to be crickets, you're going to be one of 500 eggs. If what you see are spiders, you may be one of 2,000 eggs in four sacks. Isn't this disgusting? But you won't know, by the way, that it's disgusting because what happens is when you become these things, you are these things. Report an error in the passage at 17:02 Highlight the passage at 17:02

17:23 Bodhi, by the way, who is a dog and who may be a bodhisattva, I don't know, has been blessed by Lama Zopa twice. So, you know, she's pretty lucky as dogs go, you know. She's probably, every morning I wake up with Om Mani Padme Hum, blah, blah. She doesn't seem to get it, but I'm hoping that she will, you know. Report an error in the passage at 17:23 Highlight the passage at 17:23

17:42 She may be, but she really may be a bodhisattva, but animals who, or anything that is a bodhisattva, they don't say to you, I'm really a bodhisattva, I'm only playing this game with you, you know. You don't know, you know. But the way she acts, I think she's pretty dog-like. Let me tell you about this shark, because if you become one of these, they cut open a 17-foot shark a couple of years ago, and they found in her belly 10 full-term, 4-foot-long embryos, which, you know, they were sort of alive and swimming around or whatever. Report an error in the passage at 17:42 Highlight the passage at 17:42

18:20 But what they discovered was that in these embryos' bellies were teeth. So what they were doing while they were swimming around in the womb, The point being here that if you come into the animal realm, you will act like an animal and you will create negative karma. Again and again and again. Now for some extraordinary condition, we are here as human beings. We did a lot of good stuff somewhere along the line. Report an error in the passage at 18:20 Highlight the passage at 18:20

19:06 So the point is, you want to come back as a human being. Now, what are your chances of being a fortunate human being? There are 70 million people born each year. And I did the statistics on what's going to happen in the hour and a half that we are together. Report an error in the passage at 19:06 Highlight the passage at 19:06

19:25 If it was just an hour, there would be 8,333 people born. For our hour and a half, by the time you leave here, if we're on time, there will be 12,499 born. And if we extend ourselves a little bit and become two hours, there'll be 16,000, almost 16,700. So when you begin to think about this, it makes you kind of small, doesn't it? Report an error in the passage at 19:25 Highlight the passage at 19:25

19:50 Hence we have pride and ego, which makes us big. There may be 12,000, but heck. Look at you, looking good. So the point is, we should use this life as much as we can. But we know how that goes. There are seven types of pride. Now the first and most distressing is the pride of thinking of an inherent existing I. Report an error in the passage at 19:50 Highlight the passage at 19:50

20:22 I have to read this because... I have to read it to get it clear. This delusion arrives via the five skandhas, which are form, feeling, perception, formation and consciousness. The things that make us human beings. We have a form, we have feelings, blah, blah, blah. In other words, the very nature of being a human being invites the condition of pride. Report an error in the passage at 20:22 Highlight the passage at 20:22

20:45 Without the five skandhas, there would be nothing left of pride. But until we know emptiness or shunyata, I know emptiness. I cannot know who the I really is. Would you like me to repeat that? Am I going too fast? Should I repeat it? Okay. Report an error in the passage at 20:45 Highlight the passage at 20:45

21:06 I'll just read it and you can catch up. Pride of thinking of an inherently existing I is the problem. This delusion arrives via the five skandhas which are form, feeling, perception, formation and consciousness. Without the five skandhas there would be nothing left of pride. But until we know emptiness or shunyata, Um. Report an error in the passage at 21:06 Highlight the passage at 21:06

21:26 I cannot know who the I really is. The book that I read said this is the worst kind of pride and is the root of the others. The other kinds of pride, there are six more. There's the puffed up pride which thinks oneself superior to lower persons. We've all seen that kind of thing. The third is fancying yourself superior to those who are equal to you. So when you're even great, the very nature of grading, Grading presumes some are better, some are worse, and it's rare that one presumes oneself, well, sometimes you may think of yourself as one of the lesser ones, thinking yourself only slightly inferior to others who are actually considerably superior. Report an error in the passage at 21:26 Highlight the passage at 21:26

22:13 Quote, I am nearly as enlightened as Guru Shakyamuni. Now, the truth of the matter is that we probably think we haven't got that far to go. You know, I mean, the truth is, okay, you know, some prayers, you know, Maybe giving a little bit of money, seeing a Rinpoche or two, getting the right empowerment and we're there. Well, the Buddha, I mean if you've met high Lamas and you realize the sort of wonder that they offer and they would share with you that they're nowhere in relationship to enlightened. Report an error in the passage at 22:13 Highlight the passage at 22:13

22:51 Those of us here have to understand that we've got a long, long way to go. But, What is Obama says, yes, we can. And Hillary says, yes, we will. Well, the truth of the matter is the Buddha says, yes, we will. We will all one day be enlightened. The question is, are we going to do it faster or slower? You know, okay. Report an error in the passage at 22:51 Highlight the passage at 22:51

23:18 There is the pride beyond pride, which is conceiving oneself to be even greater than superior people. Report an error in the passage at 23:18 Highlight the passage at 23:18

23:28 There is a pride in which one fancies that one has powers such as clairvoyance, though not actually attained. We all probably know a few people like that, don't we? Report an error in the passage at 23:28 Highlight the passage at 23:28

23:41 It begins so sort of innocently with the stargazing and, you know, what sign are you? And then he gets to, you know, well, you know, because you're a Gemini. Report an error in the passage at 23:41 Highlight the passage at 23:41

23:54 Then it goes on. Would you like a seat, sir? attained you know Report an error in the passage at 23:54 Highlight the passage at 23:54

23:59 I think you're... And we might give him a... Do we have any... Report an error in the passage at 23:59 Highlight the passage at 23:59

24:11 What's your name, sir? Steve. We're going to give you... Well, you don't have to keep it hidden. You can turn it over right away. We have one for him. Report an error in the passage at 24:11 Highlight the passage at 24:11

24:22 That's pride, which you've got in your hand. I'm giving a definition, but we use that cartoon to sort of cut to the chase. Report an error in the passage at 24:22 Highlight the passage at 24:22

24:38 Then there is finally mad pride, which is another word for crazy pride, in which one believes oneself to have attained special powers, whereas one has actually been carried away by spirits, for instance. Now, probably many of you don't believe in spirits, so you can just ignore that one if you don't. But be careful. Report an error in the passage at 24:38 Highlight the passage at 24:38

24:58 The causes of delusions are the following. Karma, contact with sense objects which spark a delusion. Associating with deluded people, listening to accounts that stimulate delusions, familiarity which allows delusions to arise suddenly as if natural and spontaneous. Report an error in the passage at 24:58 Highlight the passage at 24:58

25:35 Like, you know, you're looking at... I was going to say a word that I really shouldn't say. Let's say you're on the computer and looking at whatever you might find on the computer and suddenly you decide, oh my goodness, and there's your delusion. Or who knows? We all have our stuff. And then there's inappropriate attention. Now there are four opponent powers and while I read them, Venerable, would you hand out the second handout? Report an error in the passage at 25:35 Highlight the passage at 25:35

26:06 And like the others, would you please not look at it until we're complete? Now the opponent powers are the things that help you to fight against pride. There is one, the power of the object, which means taking refuge and generating bodhicitta. Now some of you have, how many of you have taken refuge? Please raise your hands. Okay. How many of you have taken the vows of bodhicitta? Report an error in the passage at 26:06 Highlight the passage at 26:06

26:34 Oh, okay. Good. So there's the power of the object, which means, and the object is a Buddha. The power of the object can. I can't change your pride, but a holy being can. Then there's the power of regret on your part. Did you look at the thing? There's the power of regret, which is the extent to which you purify negative karma is dependent on the strength and sincerity of your regret. Report an error in the passage at 26:34 Highlight the passage at 26:34

27:09 If you're really, really unhappy about being prideful, in this instance, or a jerk or whatever, and you really offer regret, that's the beginning of pulling up that seed. The third of four is the power of opponent forces, which is a virtuous action done as an antidote to negative actions. That includes prostrations and so forth. This sounds a little weird for us in San Francisco in America, but I have to tell you it really works. Report an error in the passage at 27:09 Highlight the passage at 27:09

27:40 But there's a reason for it. And the last one is the power of commitment, that you commit to changing your behavior. You change it. Report an error in the passage at 27:40 Highlight the passage at 27:40

27:52 You can turn over your sheets now. Report an error in the passage at 27:52 Highlight the passage at 27:52

28:02 Now this is the beginning. Report an error in the passage at 28:02 Highlight the passage at 28:02

28:07 However, I gave this to my class. I teach a class of staff members and so they were sort of, I live at Vajrapani by the way, and I live in a forest and in a trailer. And we have a wonderful staff and I'm giving them lessons and we're just sort of talking about what it is to be a Buddhist. And we looked at this particular image. Report an error in the passage at 28:07 Highlight the passage at 28:07

28:31 Some people found it amusing, some people found it offensive, some people found it curious. Just goes to show you. The only thing that I would change in this image is that I think, but it wouldn't be funny then, Report an error in the passage at 28:31 Highlight the passage at 28:31

29:08 really, it wouldn't be in the New Yorker magazine, because it would be like, it would be, it would be in Mandala, well, and in Mandala they wouldn't have him out of that outfit either, probably, but. Report an error in the passage at 29:08 Highlight the passage at 29:08

29:19 But do you see what I'm trying to say? That when you're climbing that mountain to find your guru, who you really find is yourself. And it's in finding yourself and being, let me see the quote again, and being disillusioned, you know, that you begin your spiritual journey. Thank you, thank you so much. Report an error in the passage at 29:19 Highlight the passage at 29:19

29:53 There is, some of you may have known that there is a thought training program. Lama Tsongkhapa points are ones that I think are specific to pride, and I'll read them aloud to you. Determined to obtain the greatest possible benefit from all sentient beings who are more precious than a wish-fulfilling jewel, I shall hold them most dear at all times. Report an error in the passage at 29:53 Highlight the passage at 29:53

30:49 I'll repeat that. Determined to obtain the greatest possible benefit from all sentient beings who are more precious than a wish-fulfilling jewel, I shall hold them most dear at all Now, Report an error in the passage at 30:49 Highlight the passage at 30:49

31:06 yes, let me repeat it again. Report an error in the passage at 31:06 Highlight the passage at 31:06

31:18 Now, is that easy to do? Determined to obtain the greatest possible benefit from all who are more precious than a wish-fulfilling jewel. Report an error in the passage at 31:18 Highlight the passage at 31:18

31:36 Those bums, you know, yeah, right, I hear you. Okay, so you've got to, not only have you got to think of other human beings as being superior to you, you've got to think of, you know, the mosquitoes that are buzzing around you and want your blood, you know, the dogs that are barking at night and keeping you up, you know, whatever, on and on and on. Report an error in the passage at 31:36 Highlight the passage at 31:36

31:56 You have to reimagine yourself as being below all of these because they have something to teach you. When in the company of others I shall always consider myself the lowest of all and from the depths of my heart hold others dear and supreme. I'll repeat that. When in the company of others I shall always consider myself the lowest of all and from the depths of my heart hold others dear and supreme. But you know, you might do that with people who you just meet. Report an error in the passage at 31:56 Highlight the passage at 31:56

32:24 But do you do that with your parents? Do you do that with your siblings? Do you do that with people that you grew up with? You remember what they did to you. And you're not going to hold them dear. Report an error in the passage at 32:24 Highlight the passage at 32:24

32:38 But you have to. And the point is that you begin to do this work and it becomes easy. But you can't play that game. You see some sort of people who become whatever religious tradition. I was born again for many years. Born again, I was raised as a Catholic, Buddhist. You see the newcomers. They are so holy. Report an error in the passage at 32:38 Highlight the passage at 32:38

33:02 know, uh, uh, Buddha. Report an error in the passage at 33:02 Highlight the passage at 33:02

33:11 That's not what we're talking about. Just breathe. Just love. It doesn't work that way. You have to be honest with yourself. And sometimes it's ugly. Sometimes it's very ugly. So you're nice and then you close the door and you scream in the privacy of your room. I can't stand her. Report an error in the passage at 33:11 Highlight the passage at 33:11

33:42 Okay. Report an error in the passage at 33:42 Highlight the passage at 33:42

33:47 So the question is, what frees a life from prideful confusion and problems? Let me ask you that. What frees a life from prideful confusion and problems? Report an error in the passage at 33:47 Highlight the passage at 33:47

34:07 Isn't it awful when somebody asks you questions, even though there's a group of 35 people and everybody's sort of like, please don't call on me, don't call on me, you know. Go ahead. What's your name? Trevor. Report an error in the passage at 34:07 Highlight the passage at 34:07

34:24 From prideful delusions? What frees a life from prideful confusion and problems? The first thing that jumps to my mind is the power that comes from our vows. I think that's a good first step. Did you say the what that comes from our vows? Like the power, I think? The power that comes from our vows. That's pretty good. I hadn't thought of that. Report an error in the passage at 34:24 Highlight the passage at 34:24

34:54 It's not the answer that I have here, but it's a pretty good one. I think what that power does is it kind of allows us to get to the root of our delusive idea of who we are. The only problem with that is some of us haven't taken vows and may never. Because one of the first conditions that Buddhism holds is devotion to the guru. Report an error in the passage at 34:54 Highlight the passage at 34:54

35:20 And for Westerners, that's a real stumbling block. Because we presume that he or she, you know, but for red robes or whatever, is more or less the same as me. Report an error in the passage at 35:20 Highlight the passage at 35:20

35:35 And we are. We don't like people that are put above us. Westerners like to, they don't mind people above them, but they like to be able to tear them down. They like, you know what I mean? I'm not being facetious, you know, you sort of like, you know. Yeah, Obama's pretty cool, but he's a plagiarist. Hillary, come on, you know, whatever. Report an error in the passage at 35:35 Highlight the passage at 35:35

36:06 We won't deal with this too politically. Go ahead. Oh, I think you have to use the... What's your name? Ananda, beautiful name. Report an error in the passage at 36:06 Highlight the passage at 36:06

36:17 I guess for those of us that don't have a guru... I grew up in the pagan tradition and then the Wiccan tradition and also the Buddhist tradition. I mean, I've been very fortunate in my life to have been born and raised in San Francisco and have all of these things available to me. Report an error in the passage at 36:17 Highlight the passage at 36:17

36:48 Is it a source of pride for me? Report an error in the passage at 36:48 Highlight the passage at 36:48

36:56 I'm wondering to be seeking that guru or is it something that I should allow the universe and life, like get out of the way of life so that the universe can bring that into my life? Does that make sense? Yes, actually you put it in the form of, am I getting feedback or something? I hear my own voice. Report an error in the passage at 36:56 Highlight the passage at 36:56

37:23 Sweet. Sweet. Um... Was that in the form of a question? Yes. I guess what my question is, is that, you know, is it a form of pride for me to be seeking or is it my responsibility as a person seeking enlightenment or seeking, you know, compassion and tools Report an error in the passage at 37:23 Highlight the passage at 37:23

38:00 to deal with my own life suffering? To be looking for a guru or should I step out of the way and let the universe provide? provide okay uh well we have we let's let's address that question and then go back to to because i think trevor was on a on a on a at nice point with this but this isn't quite this answer wasn't quite what i'd like us reflect on um Report an error in the passage at 38:00 Highlight the passage at 38:00

38:33 Point is, is it prideful to be looking for a guru? What do you think? Yes. Names and take the microphone. Hi everybody, I'm Joy. Your question is wonderful because I'm a little confused because when I think of anyone looking for a guru, I think of that as being humble as opposed to being prideful. Report an error in the passage at 38:33 Highlight the passage at 38:33

39:04 When you're seeking a guru, usually gurus are people who kind of show you the way. So if you're seeking, that assumes that you're admitting that you need help or you need some guidance. So I'm a little struck by your question because to me it's a sign of humility. So I don't really know where pride in your own experience from your own side kind of enters into that. Report an error in the passage at 39:04 Highlight the passage at 39:04

39:33 Good. Thank you. Anyone else? Anyone else? I like that answer. Judith? I think seeking a guru is scary. Ah, yes. And finding one may be even scarier. Okay. All right. So to answer Ananda's question, I think some days I think it's prideful, sometimes I think it's scary, but I think Report an error in the passage at 39:33 Highlight the passage at 39:33

40:08 We're really, really hungry. And most of the time we eat fast food to feed us and still we're starving. And sometimes we find ourselves wanting somebody to make it better. Report an error in the passage at 40:08 Highlight the passage at 40:08

40:29 And Report an error in the passage at 40:29 Highlight the passage at 40:29

40:33 despite our training, which really makes it difficult for us to appreciate gurus, In the East, they have not the same problem that we do. They have different problems. It's very, very difficult. I remember, my teacher was first pointed out to me 11 years before I asked him to be my teacher. And when he was pointed out to me, I've had many teachers, but the guy that gives you the practices and so forth, the formal thing. And I remember a nun saying, that's... Report an error in the passage at 40:33 Highlight the passage at 40:33

41:15 And I said, so who's, you know, like, they're, you know, like, you know, not taller than me, all this Harvard, yeah, blah, blah, blah, you know, who's he? Report an error in the passage at 41:15 Highlight the passage at 41:15

41:27 And it took me 11 years to throw up all that, not all of it, but throw up enough of it to taste the sweetness of this man. And one of the things that I did was I began to find... People who I respected and cared for who had him as their teacher. That was the only way I could understand it. The people who I didn't have to deal with, who were like my peers, they said, oh, this is... Report an error in the passage at 41:27 Highlight the passage at 41:27

41:52 So they'd already done some of the work for me. Because it is very, very scary to go to somebody and say, would you be my teacher and have them sort of consider it? Report an error in the passage at 41:52 Highlight the passage at 41:52

42:08 It's a commitment and, you know, many of us are afraid of commitments. And this is the commitment for a very powerful, powerful marriage. So, let me answer what frees a life from confusion and problems, if I might. Now, many things do, but in terms of pride, the thing that will free you from prideful confusion and problems is compassion. Report an error in the passage at 42:08 Highlight the passage at 42:08

42:43 Self-cherishing brings, and I'll go back to that, self-cherishing brings constant problems and unhappiness. But if you seek to give others happiness and you seek to lead them to enlightenment, that is the ultimate compassion. Now of course when you say seek to lead them to enlightenment, that presumes the kind of behavior on your part that might be prideful. But you know at a certain point we're going to have to acknowledge the fact. Report an error in the passage at 42:43 Highlight the passage at 42:43

43:13 That you're here on a Friday giving up your time because you want something and you want it desperately enough. Or maybe you just haven't got a date. Report an error in the passage at 43:13 Highlight the passage at 43:13

43:23 But I presume you're desperate enough that this is meaningful to you. That you want something more profound than, you know, whatever. You know, there's a reason why we are all here in this room together. So, given that compassion is the answer to all of this, Report an error in the passage at 43:23 Highlight the passage at 43:23

43:50 Now the only problem with this is that enlightenment comes from causes and conditions. In other words, you're not going to walk out of here, walk into the street and be enlightened. Enlightened because some of you will appreciate this, some of you don't quite grasp it. It depends upon where you are. Report an error in the passage at 43:50 Highlight the passage at 43:50

44:13 But if you, the Buddhists understand, just as we believe that we've been here. Endless eons that we've also collected huge amounts of negative behavior and also clearly huge amounts of positive behavior. Report an error in the passage at 44:13 Highlight the passage at 44:13

44:29 But the rest of the journey requires that you do certain things. Prayer life, prostrations, studying the Dharma. Because what Buddhism is about is changing how you think, changing your mind. And of course, you know, Tibetans put the heart, put the mind where our heart is. And that's the way to enlightenment. Report an error in the passage at 44:29 Highlight the passage at 44:29

45:01 Changing how you think. And it's very, very hard because you are what you think. So you say, okay, well, I heard about pride this evening. Well, I won't be prideful anymore. You know. But you and I both know that it doesn't work that way. So, you do this thing called... Report an error in the passage at 45:01 Highlight the passage at 45:01

45:24 Refuge. You offer prostrations. You do water bowls. You do these things. And over time, because you won't do them unless there's some part of you that says, maybe, like the cartoon says, I'm so disillusioned. I've been in relationships. I've tried everything. I've earned money. I have a car. I have a home. Report an error in the passage at 45:24 Highlight the passage at 45:24

45:46 I have a good job and I'm still not happy. Maybe these Buddhists are correct. Of course, they're walking around, these Buddhists are walking around with these sort of sweet smiles. But, you know, there's a reason. They are, most Buddhists, are pretty happy people. You know? Report an error in the passage at 45:46 Highlight the passage at 45:46

46:04 Anyway, let's go on. The roots of saṃsāra is the perverted mind. Boy, I hate that word. It's so strong, isn't it? But anyway, that's what the book said. Report an error in the passage at 46:04 Highlight the passage at 46:04

46:20 Ignorance is the belief in this reality. But this is, for most of us, the only one that we know. Report an error in the passage at 46:20 Highlight the passage at 46:20

46:35 Lama Zopa says, to make it impossible for delusions to arise, you have to eradicate their seed. We have saṃsāra, delusions, karma, ignorance, attachment, anger and so forth. All of those conditions are working against us. And most of us will say, well, you know, I'm here on a Friday. I do well. I try to be nice to my neighbor. Report an error in the passage at 46:35 Highlight the passage at 46:35

46:58 I give some money occasionally. I'm kind to whomever. Report an error in the passage at 46:58 Highlight the passage at 46:58

47:07 I don't expect to go to the hell realm. I don't expect to go to the animal realm. At worst, I expect to be where I am next time around. Report an error in the passage at 47:07 Highlight the passage at 47:07

47:17 But unfortunately, that's not the case. Because until you've experienced, and I mean experienced emptiness, your actions are non-virtuous. Meaning by that, that you're accumulating negative karma when you're presuming... Oh, that was me and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Your karma though. Report an error in the passage at 47:17 Highlight the passage at 47:17

47:51 You do these things to put... To put money in the bank. Now, in Spain there was, was it in Spain? There was the Inquisition in Spain. There was a time, I think, in Spain when the Catholics, well, the Catholics are still there, where you could buy indulgences. Does anyone know? You could buy indulgences. Well, I didn't believe that, but we've just come off of Losar and the Tibetan New Year. Report an error in the passage at 47:51 Highlight the passage at 47:51

48:26 And they state that during that 15-day period, whatever you do, you accumulate more merit. You know, you do. Well, if you have a teacher and your teacher says this, and the Buddha, if you believe what the Buddha says and the Buddha does not lie, then I have to go with that. So you should have seen me. I mean, I was up at 2.30 yesterday. Was that the day, the last day of the Losa? No, the day before. 2.30 and I prayed. Report an error in the passage at 48:26 Highlight the passage at 48:26

49:02 account. I had a friend of mine who was a dancer for, not Balanchine, some male dance company. And this guy, Merce Cunningham. Report an error in the passage at 49:02 Highlight the passage at 49:02

49:16 And I said, well, how's Merce Cunningham? What's he like? He says, well, I'll tell you one thing. I think Merce Cunningham's dead now, isn't he? I think he's dead. Anyway, he said, this was 20 years ago, 30 years ago. He said, uh... I said, what was he like? He said, well, one thing he does, he swallows massive amounts of vitamins. And I said, why does he do that? Report an error in the passage at 49:16 Highlight the passage at 49:16

49:36 He says, because he says it keeps him healthy. So I said, who wants to do that? He says, well, listen, I'm going to do it because I don't want when I'm 60 to wish that I had done it starting when I was 20. Well, I'm the same way with this stuff, you know. I don't want at the end of my life to say, oh, my God, I'm in this path. I'm looking for a way out, which means I'm looking for somebody or something having sex. Report an error in the passage at 49:36 Highlight the passage at 49:36

49:56 For my next time around, and if I had done these prostrations and said these prayers, I'd be in a better position. A lot of this, by the way, to some extent may be sort of complicated to you because some of you haven't taken some of this information, but I'm hoping you're getting some of it. Okay. Yes. Report an error in the passage at 49:56 Highlight the passage at 49:56

50:26 Yes. Report an error in the passage at 50:26 Highlight the passage at 50:26

50:33 You create negative karma even without... Yes, you create negative karma even without knowing. I mean, you know, why are none of us as beautiful as we would like to be or as rich as we would like to be? We're doing pretty well, but we could have done a lot better, couldn't we? Well, that's some of it because we didn't have the right karma. But apparently we had the right karma to get us here today. Report an error in the passage at 50:33 Highlight the passage at 50:33

50:57 So my question is, to record for the tape, You had said until you've experienced emptiness, you create negative karma. So my question is, how do you know that you've experienced emptiness? Report an error in the passage at 50:57 Highlight the passage at 50:57

51:16 You will know it. What was it? I remember asking somebody this question. It was actually about bodhicitta. Report an error in the passage at 51:16 Highlight the passage at 51:16

51:31 If you're colorblind, let's say, you can't see red as red. when you're no longer color blind, say you get the cure, you will suddenly see red as red. Well, there's no denying that that's red, okay? Elements of that are red. Report an error in the passage at 51:31 Highlight the passage at 51:31

51:50 you experience emptiness, you will know it. Report an error in the passage at 51:50 Highlight the passage at 51:50

51:56 So what elements, like how do you know, like given that there's work to do to reach that state, What does it feel like and how do you, like, what are the signposts that you're actually there? Well, you know, I can speak not from experience but from what I have been told, and that is you know emptiness because you sense an extraordinary expansiveness of spirit. Report an error in the passage at 51:56 Highlight the passage at 51:56

52:30 I mean, not just sort of like in your head, you know, like listening to a good symphony or something, The physical world apparently changes. But you usually have, at this stage of the game, for experiencing of emptiness, you usually have to be in pretty, not necessarily intense conversation, but you have to be working with someone or a group or a community. Report an error in the passage at 52:30 Highlight the passage at 52:30

52:58 Now this is a community perhaps of like-minded people. This is what is called the Saṅgha. And what we're talking about is the Dharma. know? Report an error in the passage at 52:58 Highlight the passage at 52:58

53:12 But what you're asking for joy is probably something that would only come to you or most specifically when you're working with a guru. Because that person in and of him or herself has to be able to read you and know what you need in order to take you to the next stage. There are very clear... Report an error in the passage at 53:12 Highlight the passage at 53:12

53:40 credentials for being a guru. It isn't just a nice guy. It isn't just somebody who knows the Dharma or whatever. They have to have... And you're supposed to test them too. You're supposed to really sort of question them. And if they are to be your guru, they won't mind. So you won't understand emptiness until you've done some of that work. Because that consciousness is the beginning of such a profound step. Report an error in the passage at 53:40 Highlight the passage at 53:40

54:10 That you have to be ready for it. And that's what we're doing here is getting ready for it. Okay, so I've heard stories about how gurus will call you on your stuff and put you through all kinds of tests. Is that part of a teaching style that is often employed to get you to enlightenment? Sometimes. It depends upon if you're a hard head. Report an error in the passage at 54:10 Highlight the passage at 54:10

54:37 Or if you're arrogant, in which all of us have our little sort of hidden arrogances, and you're always sort of testing this person to sort of see, well, is he sleeping with his students? Is he taking money? Is he really honest? Does he really like me? Does he love me? I don't think most of us are willing to even go that far. Like me is as far as many of us go. Yeah. What was your question, though? Report an error in the passage at 54:37 Highlight the passage at 54:37

55:00 Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 55:00 Highlight the passage at 55:00

55:03 I was asking about the teaching styles of different gurus because I've heard that sometimes people put you through challenges that can be quite unbearable, like you a task that you really don't want to do because it's supposed to be whatever... I'm just wondering if that's... A teaching technique. It is a teaching technique and if I can, we have time, so I will, let me give you an example of what happened to me. Report an error in the passage at 55:03 Highlight the passage at 55:03

55:39 This was one of my teachers. It was actually the man who I said to, you know, can I have enlightenment in seven years? And he said, just continue to say the mantra and we'll talk. We went together and I presumed he was my teacher and actually he was the one who invited me to become a monk. And so I'm eternally grateful for him. He's not the one person, I don't see him as regularly as I should. And we had an extraordinary series of events which I will share with you. Report an error in the passage at 55:39 Highlight the passage at 55:39

56:06 He invited me, I live in California, he lives in Texas. One of the reasons I live in California is my family is here and my mother and my parents, my mother is now passed, my parents were old and I didn't want to live far from them. And that teacher lived in Texas. I don't like Texas, I don't like hot weather and blah, blah, blah. Report an error in the passage at 56:06 Highlight the passage at 56:06

56:25 But anyway, he invited me to go with him to India and from the minute I arrived, he made my life hell. I cannot tell you, I'll give you an example. One of my brothers, my youngest brother had died and I had this, what is this thing called when you have a nerve, sciatica. Have any of you had sciatica? Report an error in the passage at 56:25 Highlight the passage at 56:25

56:45 You know how it hurts. He gave me no mercy on this. We're going over these bumpy roads in India, you know, and I'm calling out and he says, be quiet, be quiet. Anyway, we were together for about three weeks and it got worse and it got worse and it got worse. His kind of, I thought, his behavior towards me, his lack of sympathy. Report an error in the passage at 56:45 Highlight the passage at 56:45

57:07 And what he did was also these, the other young people who were with us began to talk to me, to put me down. And it was amazing. I mean, it's like, it was amazing. And he kind of sat there and he watched them do this thing. Report an error in the passage at 57:07 Highlight the passage at 57:07

57:26 It was amazing and at one point my sciatic was kicking in, I'm terrified of mountain roads and we were in Nepal, I think it was, and we were on this sort of perilous drive, the car was packed and I had to get out. I had to get out of the car, I was terrified. I said, please stop the car, please stop, and then I began to get hysterical. He stopped the car, they... Report an error in the passage at 57:26 Highlight the passage at 57:26

57:53 I was on all fours on the ground. I was so scared. When everybody arrived at the spot, he looked at me and said, you have to become less afraid of dying. Report an error in the passage at 57:53 Highlight the passage at 57:53

58:06 But I couldn't be there. After three weeks, we were coming back to India and he was having a problem finding... Report an error in the passage at 58:06 Highlight the passage at 58:06

58:32 went to see him three times at the airport. He was looking for this person who was supposed to take care of us. And one of the people I was with, these two girls were saying, would you please ask him, Geshe-la, to just let us take Take a car so we can get home and we'll meet him. So I went there once. He said, just go away. I went there twice. And let's go away. The third time he looks at me and he says, will you stop this? Report an error in the passage at 58:32 Highlight the passage at 58:32

58:55 And he said, it's so loud. And this was it for me. And I turned to him and then I turned away to walk away. And then I just, I boil. And this, I think, is what he meant to do. I looked, I turned and he says, who are yelled? And, you know, all these Indians. I mean, the Indian airport is like packed. Report an error in the passage at 58:55 Highlight the passage at 58:55

59:17 And I said, who are you talking to? In America, I'm a black man. People are afraid of me. Who are you talking to? This went in my head. And then for the rest of the... Actually, that destroyed our relationship. It destroyed, I thought, our relationship. He called me up one night. I didn't talk to him for the rest of the day. We were leaving in two days. That was the end of it. He said, He called me up and I said, you know, Gesho, I don't want to talk to you. It took me a decade to understand that he had done this to me on purpose. Report an error in the passage at 59:17 Highlight the passage at 59:17

59:58 We are so, we're wrapped in cotton. We think, you know, we think we're available. We think we're learning our lessons. But we have got so much BS between ourselves and the reality. Report an error in the passage at 59:58 Highlight the passage at 59:58

1:00:13 And he had to do this thing and I had to suffer 10 years. I mean, I said, why has he done this to me? I yelled at my, I said, and I sat down and I said, and I said this to myself and I thought, oh my God. Later, I said, if this means I have to go to hell, then so be it. I was so angry because I, my teacher, I had humiliated in public, but he gave me this gift. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:13 Highlight the passage at 1:00:13

1:00:38 It was a gift and it took me a decade to appreciate it. So that was a... I don't remember why I told you that story. Does anybody remember what it was? Yes, I asked you about emptiness. Oh, yes. And you said, why does a guru have to... There are very sweet and wonderful gurus. It just so happens that the guru gives you what you need. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:38 Highlight the passage at 1:00:38

1:01:03 And I needed that. You, Joy, will have a wonderful, sweet guru. How do you know? I'm scared. Oh, he or she will be kind and loving to you because this is how it, well, I'm being a little facetious. So tell me, tell me, because this is how it is? No, because this may work for you. Okay. And I just wanted to bring it back to the topic at hand, which is pride. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:03 Highlight the passage at 1:01:03

1:01:26 The reason I asked about the emptiness is because if emptiness kind of dissolves all. afflictions if it's a way to dissolve it i figured that it's a way to dissolve pride so is my assessment track or am i off track give you something Emptiness is right here in this room. We are all in a state of emptiness. You don't exist. I don't exist. This room doesn't exist. This world doesn't exist. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:26 Highlight the passage at 1:01:26

1:01:55 But all of us are living in this reality. So, when you're ready, Pride will have disappeared anyway. When you're ready for emptiness, pride will have gone, or a certain amount of it. And you will experience this. There may be somebody in this room right now who is experiencing this in emptiness. So it isn't that emptiness will be the solution to the pride. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:55 Highlight the passage at 1:01:55

1:02:22 It's that you won't have the pride and in that instance you will experience the emptiness. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:22 Highlight the passage at 1:02:22

1:02:31 While you are prideful, you are not going to experience Emptiness. However, you need not get rid of all your pride, as I understand. You don't have to become a saint in order to sort of have this alternative. It's a process. It is all a process. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:31 Highlight the passage at 1:02:31

1:02:52 All suffering comes from non-virtue. All happiness comes from virtue. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:52 Highlight the passage at 1:02:52

1:03:02 Actions born from non-attachment, non-anger and non-ignorance are virtuous. Well, pride is attachment. You're prideful because you're holding on to something. You're afraid to let go. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:02 Highlight the passage at 1:03:02

1:03:26 I don't know who said this. Therefore, you should practice only Dharma, nothing else, because happiness is all you want. Well, that's very hard. Particularly, I live in a forest. You people, you have jobs, you work hard. Some of you are yawning because you've had a long day and a long week and it's Friday. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:26 Highlight the passage at 1:03:26

1:03:47 And I'm very grateful that you've come here. But I'm happy mostly for you. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:47 Highlight the passage at 1:03:47

1:03:57 But the experience of happiness is something that transcends... Coming Report an error in the passage at 1:03:57 Highlight the passage at 1:03:57

1:04:09 tonight, you're not going to leave here necessarily happy. But you will experience, if you begin to do some work, you will experience a change in how you behave in the world. And those of you who are practicing a spiritual path have maybe discovered in your lifetime that things have changed as you have given yourself up to something higher. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:09 Highlight the passage at 1:04:09

1:04:30 Whether it be Christian or... Buddhist or whatever. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:30 Highlight the passage at 1:04:30

1:04:43 Until you have developed a detachment from this life, the path of Dharma is blocked. Those of you who still believe that a family and a car and a nice house, for the reasons that you're told to want them, will not move well on the spiritual path. Which is not to say that you shouldn't have all these things. Look at Richard Gere. He's rich. He's famous. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:43 Highlight the passage at 1:04:43

1:05:15 And he does wonderful good. So become rich and famous. Don't even become famous. Become rich. And give the money to Dharma. And live in a gorgeous house. People sometimes presume that Buddhists believe in not having a lot. Have it all. But recognize the value of it. That it's all illusion. But what do they say? Report an error in the passage at 1:05:15 Highlight the passage at 1:05:15

1:05:43 It's nicer to be rich than it is to be poor. Being poor is an illusion too. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:43 Highlight the passage at 1:05:43

1:05:55 Can we have that last handout, please, a venerable? No, not the last, the third. Yes, yes, the third, the third. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:55 Highlight the passage at 1:05:55

1:06:10 Remember, not look, don't look. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:10 Highlight the passage at 1:06:10

1:06:25 She doesn't bite, which is nice. I've never had a dog that bit. Lama Zopa has a dog that bites. Yes. Who said that? Yes, have you seen? Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:25 Highlight the passage at 1:06:25

1:06:40 And you love him? Or her, actually? Oh. She's a sweet dog, but she, you know, yes. So when I go there, she has to stay in the car. I think that, has everyone got theirs? Well, you can turn it over. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:40 Highlight the passage at 1:06:40

1:07:05 Now, consider this your wake-up call. But let me ask you something. As Buddhists, this phrase is not correct. Would you please look at this and see what's wrong with this? And let's have answers. How would you change this to... Make it appropriately Buddhist. Go ahead. What's your name? Anna. Yes. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:05 Highlight the passage at 1:07:05

1:07:39 To change this quote, I would change it. This is your wake-up call, change or live forever. Living is saṃsāra, so you would live forever instead of kind of, I guess, die implies an ending to life, which is saṃsāra. So I guess it would be the opposite. Okay. All right. Good. Anybody else? Report an error in the passage at 1:07:39 Highlight the passage at 1:07:39

1:08:07 Anybody else? Clearly. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:07 Highlight the passage at 1:08:07

1:08:12 How about it? Let's say we're going to stay here until we get it. So just, are all of you just sort of, do you find yourself? Yes. Change or change. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:12 Highlight the passage at 1:08:12

1:08:29 Change or change. Good. Anybody else? Actually, what is your name? Marcus. Marcus. I had a brother named Marcus. Marcus, would you mind handling the... Yes. All right. Good. Good. Change or die with fear and regret? Change or die, what's the phrase? I don't know, I mean, this is, not, oh, anyway, this is your wake-up call, change or die with fear and regret. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:29 Highlight the passage at 1:08:29

1:09:00 Okay, all right, all right, all right, oh, no, Marcus, Marcus, back, back here. saw Marcus yawning, so I'm thinking this is going to get him moving. Change or derange. Change or derange. Okay, interesting. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:00 Highlight the passage at 1:09:00

1:09:18 Joy and then someone in... Sunera? Sonera? What does it mean? Golden? Good. Joy, go ahead. Okay, I would change it to... This is your wake-up call. Change happens whether you like it or not. That's very nice, very nice. Go ahead. Sunera. Marcus? Sunera. This is your wake-up call. Change or reborn? reborn. Mm-hmm. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:18 Highlight the passage at 1:09:18

1:09:49 These are all very good. Ananda, Ananda. I would just say, you know, this is your wake-up call. You know, start learning. Okay. You know, I think that that's what we all are seeking and we're all looking for. And whether we know it or not, it's like change is learning. Can I give you, yes, there's Trevor. Okay. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:49 Highlight the passage at 1:09:49

1:10:20 And then after Trevor. Well, I practice in the Zen school and so you'd pick up the phone and the guy would say, wake up and then hang up. Great, great. Okay, let me tell you what I know the change to be. It's one word. All right, that narrows it. One word changed in this statement. A good Buddhist would understand this. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:20 Highlight the passage at 1:10:20

1:10:48 Oh, well, I'm not saying if you don't understand it, you're a bad Buddhist. Yeah, good. I mean, it's part of our, it's part of, you know, it's actually, it's actually very, it's, it, shall I just tell you? Report an error in the passage at 1:10:48 Highlight the passage at 1:10:48

1:11:05 It's, can I, Marcus, can I, your last name isn't Mitchell, is it? No. Oh, okay. This is your wake-up call. A Buddhist would say, this is your wake-up call, change and die. I mean, that's the reality. Thank you. The Buddha died. We're all going to die. However, if you change and you inevitably die, it will be a different situation for you. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:05 Highlight the passage at 1:11:05

1:11:32 You know. So this is your wake up. This, tonight, right now, is your wake up call. And when you leave here, you can, if you want, change. Maybe a little incremental change, but change and die. It's actually kind of wonderful because you're going to die anyway. You know. You know. You're going to die anyway. Okay, we have only one more handout which is not a drawing so it's actually going to give you some sort of ideas. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:32 Highlight the passage at 1:11:32

1:12:03 I mentioned in the meantime collect merits and purify defilements. If our minds grow stronger than our delusions we'll get free from saṃsāra. Let me repeat that. If our minds grow stronger than our delusions we'll get free from saṃsāra. Some of you probably have had Unhappy love affairs. You'll always choose the wrong type. Right? Okay. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:03 Highlight the passage at 1:12:03

1:12:31 But one day, some of you, maybe not all of you, have said, you know what, I've heard this once too many times and this is the day that I say no. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:31 Highlight the passage at 1:12:31

1:12:44 Okay? Well, that's what we're talking about. That your mind has changed. You've had enough. You're fed up. But most of us are not fed up with this world, you know, it's beautiful, you know, you have a job, you have a nice house, you can go home, have a glass of wine, you know, we have all this stuff to entertain ourselves, but you know what, you're not carrying any of that with you when you die and we all are going to die. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:44 Highlight the passage at 1:12:44

1:13:11 And actually, even though I think it's sort of maybe counterproductive, I really think sometimes it's helpful to make you a little afraid. I had a dream about three weeks ago and I thought I was dead. You know, in a dream I really thought I was dead and I was so scared that I got up and I started my practice better than I had. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:11 Highlight the passage at 1:13:11

1:13:35 And I think it's the fear of dying which will help you. I really do. I mean, you know. Or whatever works for you, use it. You know? Report an error in the passage at 1:13:35 Highlight the passage at 1:13:35

1:13:47 And one of the tricks is developing bodhicitta. That's what we're saying is the solution to pridefulness. Some of you may have read Thubten Chodron's books. Do you know who Thubten Chodron is? She's a fairly famous nun who writes wonderful books. She talks about cherishing others, which is what bodhicitta is, the idea of cherishing others, which is what we're talking about, all this business of mind training or whatever, the solution to pride. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:47 Highlight the passage at 1:13:47

1:14:18 She writes, cherishing others does not mean just pleasing people. Sometimes we're thinking, okay, you're quiet, be quiet, be calm, I'm a Buddhist, I meditate, be cool, I'll take care of you. No. Pleasing people is often done with a self-centered mind. It's like you have this image of yourself as being sort of like in this Buddhist thing. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:18 Highlight the passage at 1:14:18

1:14:45 Well, any of you who have met Venerable Rubina know that Buddhism comes in many, many different fashions. She's wonderful and she's unique and we're all unique. and, you know... Report an error in the passage at 1:14:45 Highlight the passage at 1:14:45

1:14:58 So if you have a kind of a flash or if you're kind of quiet or, you know, you tend to sort of dance around, well, you'll do that as a Buddhist, you know, and you'll make it look good, okay? When we really cherish others, we very often have to do things that are very difficult. We may have to learn to communicate in a way that is unfamiliar, that makes our ego squirm because the whole problem is the ego. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:58 Highlight the passage at 1:14:58

1:15:26 Sure, what's your name? Report an error in the passage at 1:15:26 Highlight the passage at 1:15:26

1:15:37 Hi, my name is Hayden and your name is Hady Hayden Hayden. Yeah Report an error in the passage at 1:15:37 Highlight the passage at 1:15:37

1:15:46 don't know if all of you have seen that movie, Gandhi. I don't think the young people might have. It's kind of an old movie. movie Report an error in the passage at 1:15:46 Highlight the passage at 1:15:46

1:15:58 Well, I saw it again recently and every time I see that movie I feel like I really learned something from it. And there's this one scene fairly early on when Gandhi gives up being a lawyer and he comes back to India and he starts his sort of communal ashram or whatever, I don't really know what it was called. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:58 Highlight the passage at 1:15:58

1:16:23 And he and his wife evidently had... They were like upper class. But he decides that he, in Report an error in the passage at 1:16:23 Highlight the passage at 1:16:23

1:16:43 order to, he has a lot of compassion for the people in India who are poor and oppressed and suffering and hungry. And he decides that in order to help them, Report an error in the passage at 1:16:43 Highlight the passage at 1:16:43

1:17:01 He has to become one of them and so he doesn't have any possessions, everything is communal and all the work is shared and it's his wife's turn to clean the latrines and she refuses to do it because she said, I am your wife and she feels insulted. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:01 Highlight the passage at 1:17:01

1:17:25 She feels like... Because he's the leader and she's his wife, that she should have some sort of position of honor in the community. And she says she's not going to do it. And he gets furious and he grabs her and he throws her out of the house. And then they have this reconciliation and they're both apologizing to each other. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:25 Highlight the passage at 1:17:25

1:17:53 Because he's horrified by his anger and she's horrified by her pride. pride. And now forgotten completely where I was leading with this. Oh, I know, I know, I know. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:53 Highlight the passage at 1:17:53

1:18:09 somehow this has some weird connection to of my own situations where I live with my two children. They're 21 and 28. They're both boys. And... Report an error in the passage at 1:18:09 Highlight the passage at 1:18:09

1:18:25 will not wash a dish they just absolutely will not and so i end up you know, in a way, I think, okay, Report an error in the passage at 1:18:25 Highlight the passage at 1:18:25

1:18:40 not any better than they are. They're not any better than I am. We're equal. We all make dirty dishes. Clean them! you in and do some work, right? Which seems sensible. then I... Report an error in the passage at 1:18:40 Highlight the passage at 1:18:40

1:18:58 Then I get angry and then I wash the dishes and then I think well am I, is this like a good practice for me to be doing because I'm giving up, I'm doing the work in spite of my anger or maybe because of my anger but it's like in a way it's giving Report an error in the passage at 1:18:58 Highlight the passage at 1:18:58

1:19:25 up that idea of fairness and saying Report an error in the passage at 1:19:25 Highlight the passage at 1:19:25

1:19:31 I'm not above doing this. I think... But I think it's kind of prideful at the same time because it's like... You know what I... Mary, go take the microphone. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:31 Highlight the passage at 1:19:31

1:19:51 Thank you, thank you. Let me just share with you what I think. I actually like washing dishes, strangely enough. When I was 11, that was what I asked for my birthday gift. However... you don't need Mary Report an error in the passage at 1:19:51 Highlight the passage at 1:19:51

1:20:02 Lama Tsongkhapa Lama Report an error in the passage at 1:20:02 Highlight the passage at 1:20:02

1:20:57 Tsongkhapa these dishes and has nothing to do and when you resentful of it destroys the opportunity. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:57 Highlight the passage at 1:20:57

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:21:28 you can move past it? Or do you not want to live in a state wherein you have moved past it? Report an error in the passage at 1:21:28 Highlight the passage at 1:21:28

1:21:39 natural to be angry. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:39 Highlight the passage at 1:21:39

1:21:44 can you use it? And ultimately, being angry is not where you want to be. Now, it's nice that you get past it, but you're in discomfort when you're angry. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:44 Highlight the passage at 1:21:44

1:22:03 I we're in questions and answers I think being in that Report an error in the passage at 1:22:03 Highlight the passage at 1:22:03

1:22:13 don't feel like I have to be perfect. I don't feel like I have to be pure. I don't feel like I have to be all the time. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:13 Highlight the passage at 1:22:13

1:22:25 you, like, getting angry. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:25 Highlight the passage at 1:22:25

1:22:30 a form of pain but experiencing pain is part of what enables you to enables me anyway like keeping repeating Lama Tsongkhapa Time after time after time after time after time. And seeing myself do it helps me have compassion for other people and not blame them for their mistakes. Because I can't put myself in the position of saying, I don't make those mistakes anymore. I make mistakes every, you know, I mean, ten minutes doesn't go by when I don't make mistakes. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:30 Highlight the passage at 1:22:30

1:23:17 Okay, well let me just simply say this. Yes, I think anger is, as you describe it, an opportunity. It shows where the door is to non-anger. However, it isn't something to be invited. Like, you know, you look at the dishes piling and you can see the bottom. I'm getting angry. I'm getting angry. Oh, this is good. I'm getting angry. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:17 Highlight the passage at 1:23:17

1:23:41 I'm getting angry. Lama Tsongkhapa We discovered that there were endless vistas of anger. You know. So I would suggest... But in a way, see, I see it like... I'm sorry, I'm going to shut up in just a second. This is the last thing I'm going to say. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:41 Highlight the passage at 1:23:41

1:24:33 In a way, I feel like being able to just see it as an experience. Like, you know, sometimes dark clouds come over. And then... they go away again and sometimes they stay for weeks and you think is this ray never going to stop know Report an error in the passage at 1:24:33 Highlight the passage at 1:24:33

1:24:56 those things move, emotions and thoughts move. Shantideva, His Holiness the Dalai Lama I don't feel like I have to run away from it. That's very good. By the way, I should tell you that this conversation about anger, if you'll hold on to it for next week. Oh, okay. I'll be back. Yes. Richard Prince, who's a wonderful man, is talking about anger, and you can get angry at him next week. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:56 Highlight the passage at 1:24:56

1:25:41 So he will be able to address this more fully than I can. Okay. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:41 Highlight the passage at 1:25:41

1:25:47 Yes. Is your name Loris with an L? Oh, what a beautiful name. Hayden and Loris. I'm the elder. You're the elder Loris? No, I'm the elder in this community. Oh, in this community. I'm Amala and this is another Amala. Go ahead, Loris. Many Buddhists in the past have used cleaning as a way to clean away some of their mental afflictions. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:47 Highlight the passage at 1:25:47

1:26:18 is it Clish, Colossus, Clishus? Clishus, yeah. So why not when you're washing the dishes, you wipe each piece of food off, wipe a bit of your anger away. I think that might help. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:18 Highlight the passage at 1:26:18

1:26:32 Actually, Hayden is not terribly unhappy about her anger. She says it's a tool and it is because she can see it. She's actually... Report an error in the passage at 1:26:32 Highlight the passage at 1:26:32

1:26:47 Did you have, okay great. Let me, we have, oh my goodness, we've got four minutes before quarter to nine and I like to start on time and I like to end on time but we'll wind down because Marcus has got to go to sleep. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:47 Highlight the passage at 1:26:47

1:27:02 What do you do, Marcus? A recruiter? For whom? Cisco, is that computers? Oh, ah. I wake up really early too. do Jacksonville, Report an error in the passage at 1:27:02 Highlight the passage at 1:27:02

1:27:23 speak to them on the phone? Mostly in email. Oh, yeah. like a nice job. Isn't it a nice job? Okay. We're almost done with pride. Learning how to cherish others happens in our mind first. Let me repeat this. Learning how to cherish others happens in our mind first. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:23 Highlight the passage at 1:27:23

1:27:49 I would say here, by the way, I think mothers are so fortunate, generally. Some of us have had unpleasant relationships with mothers. Some of us may not even be great mothers. And all of us have been mothers. And all of you have been my mother. And I've been waiting to tell you this for quite a while. Then we understand what that means when we put it in practice. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:49 Highlight the passage at 1:27:49

1:28:18 Learning how to cherish others happens in our mind first. Then we understand what that means when we put it in practice. Sometimes it takes a great deal of courage to really do what is beneficial for others in the long run. And sometimes that means, what do they call that kind of love? Tough love? I was raised by, I had a wonderful mother. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:18 Highlight the passage at 1:28:18

1:28:38 Black mothers are notorious for tough love. And it was tough. It's tough, you know? What can I say? By the way, I want to introduce you. On May 15th, this particular Rinpoche is coming. Chodan Rinpoche. Let me quote what Lama Zopa says. Lama Zopa Rinpoche says that Chodan Rinpoche, one of his gurus, one of Lama Zopa's gurus, is not only, this is quoting, is not only a great scholar, knowing many words, but is also very humble. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:38 Highlight the passage at 1:28:38

1:29:14 Humble, with no ego, extremely soft-minded inside. That is how the practice May we have that last printing. Oh, and I have something to show you too. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:14 Highlight the passage at 1:29:14

1:29:32 These don't need to be upside down. There's no sort of humor in it. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:32 Highlight the passage at 1:29:32

1:29:39 There's no camera at all Report an error in the passage at 1:29:39 Highlight the passage at 1:29:39

1:29:48 I'm giving you, that piece of paper by the way, will save you an immense amount of waste, not wasted time, but an immense amount of time. The director of our center, Elaine Jackson, I was talking to her about my Monday class and she was saying, and I'm teaching Tantra, and she said she read this particular book. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:48 Highlight the passage at 1:29:48

1:30:14 Which I'm suggesting, by the way, Meditations on the Path to Enlightenment. I would urge, this book is like, it's the lamrim, but sweet. You mean it's like, many of us have read the lamrim in Enlightenment in the Palm of Your Hand. It's dry and long and it's got all the material in it, but this... It's so much easier. And if you use this guide, this is the guide which puts it all in Thubten Loden, Geshe-la. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:14 Highlight the passage at 1:30:14

1:30:50 He says that phrase in this book someplace. And that is, if you want enlightenment, that's how you do it. Now the first phrase is starting with find your guru. Or what does it say? Something about inspired by guru devotion. You know? And if you don't have guru devotion, don't worry. Talk. Talk to the spirit. Say, you know, I have a problem with guru devotion. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:50 Highlight the passage at 1:30:50

1:31:17 Please help me. Or I'm scared of, you know, the guru is probably going to be a man and I'm scared of men because I had a bad situation with men or my father was bad or somebody inappropriately touched me or I'm just scared and I, you know, I'm just scared. Help me. Let me tell you something. If you start talking to these, Beings that are always here and always ready for you. You will get help. And I promise you that. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:17 Highlight the passage at 1:31:17

1:31:49 So that's this. And May 15th, here, Rinpoche is going to be teaching Atisha's lamp for the path to enlightenment. Then he's going to do something on Tsongkhapa and then... wealth deity. And that begins May 15th through the 24th. So that's a, gee whiz, that's nine days. Okay? Report an error in the passage at 1:31:49 Highlight the passage at 1:31:49

1:32:20 He's going to be here. He's going to be all in the area, but he's going to be here from May 15th. May I share with them a little bit about Rinpoche's life? Oh, well, then you'll know this. May I share? Report an error in the passage at 1:32:20 Highlight the passage at 1:32:20

1:32:40 Rinpoche was in Tibet in 1959 when it was taken over by the Chinese. He didn't flee but went into hiding and I think he was with his niece and he lived in a house and they knew he was a Rinpoche and so the Chinese were very, you know, he lived in this house in a little, very little room and it was dark and he lived there for over 20 years. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:40 Highlight the passage at 1:32:40

1:33:06 They would regularly come and they would take the room apart and look for if he had any spiritual objects. And he just, you know, he stayed in this dark room for all these years and he actually had sewn his robes so that he could hide his mala in them and they never found it. But he lived in this dark room. He lived essentially in a cell for 20 years. His niece would bring him things. I don't even know if he went out to go to the toilet. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:06 Highlight the passage at 1:33:06

1:33:37 And then somehow or another he got out or he left or whatever. But when you meet him, it's almost as if you can stick your hand through his body. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:37 Highlight the passage at 1:33:37

1:33:49 There is such presence. So anyway, there you go. And have we talked enough about pride? You know, let me sum up what pride is. We know it's about the ego. And this is, by the way, the ending, one of the last phrases of the Diamond Cutter Sūtra, in which one of the speakers asks the guru, how should we treat the ego? Report an error in the passage at 1:33:49 Highlight the passage at 1:33:49

1:34:23 Which is, in effect, how should we treat this tendency towards pride? And the Buddha said this, you should treat it like a falling star. Actually, if you wouldn't mind, can we turn the lights? Is there any way to turn the lights down so I can still read this? Let's see. If you turn them all off, I won't be able to... Report an error in the passage at 1:34:23 Highlight the passage at 1:34:23

1:34:50 Oh! Maybe the car is passing. No, no, I can't. That's fine. Would you mind? Why don't you just sort of... We won't be able to do a meditation. meditation. I'm sorry we can't do that, but if you close your eyes, relax for a minute. We'll just do three deep breaths to sort of get in the mood. Report an error in the passage at 1:34:50 Highlight the passage at 1:34:50

1:35:12 Shantideva, His Holiness the Dalai Lama you exhale. You give them all the love, all the joy, all that they need to reach enlightenment. Report an error in the passage at 1:35:12 Highlight the passage at 1:35:12

1:35:48 Inhale and exhale. And now I'll read this phrase. Report an error in the passage at 1:35:48 Highlight the passage at 1:35:48

1:36:01 What is the ego? It is like a falling star, like a bubble in a stream, like a flame in the wind, like frost in the sun. Report an error in the passage at 1:36:01 Highlight the passage at 1:36:01

1:36:22 Like a flash of lightning or a passing dream, so should you understand the world of the ego. Report an error in the passage at 1:36:22 Highlight the passage at 1:36:22

1:36:36 That's what the Buddha said. And I would add that as you begin to loosen yourself up from your own private ego, as you begin to separate from your issues of pride and anger and resentment and jealousy and fear and depression, Report an error in the passage at 1:36:36 Highlight the passage at 1:36:36

1:37:04 those things, all those delusions that these Friday nights are addressing. Report an error in the passage at 1:37:04 Highlight the passage at 1:37:04

1:37:12 will begin to feel your heart opening. Report an error in the passage at 1:37:12 Highlight the passage at 1:37:12

1:37:17 will come easier. love generously. Report an error in the passage at 1:37:17 Highlight the passage at 1:37:17

1:37:25 And then you Report an error in the passage at 1:37:25 Highlight the passage at 1:37:25

1:37:37 can turn back as you move and hold out your hand and give the rest of us All these sentient beings, you can give us your helping hand. Report an error in the passage at 1:37:37 Highlight the passage at 1:37:37

1:38:05 Thank you. Report an error in the passage at 1:38:05 Highlight the passage at 1:38:05

1:38:15 There are now nearly, how Report an error in the passage at 1:38:15 Highlight the passage at 1:38:15

1:38:22 many is it? Nearly 16,700 people have been born. Report an error in the passage at 1:38:22 Highlight the passage at 1:38:22

1:38:31 Maybe that makes you feel small. It would be good if you feel small. Good. Well, I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful weekend. Thank you very much. It's been a delight. Thank you. She is sweet, isn't she? Report an error in the passage at 1:38:31 Highlight the passage at 1:38:31

1:38:46 Thank you very much. She thanks you if she could. Report an error in the passage at 1:38:46 Highlight the passage at 1:38:46