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Key passages
The teacher's own words, quoted from the transcript below and chosen automatically as representative.
- 5:42
This is where it's an act of trust. And then it leads towards relaxation, towards presence, towards peace. In Pāli, the words are what they use for this, intuitive awareness. awareness,
- 33:51
It's like it's accepting. Unconditioned love is not critical. And it's not saying how things should be. Or criticizing the miserable thing in the present either. It's a total acceptance, like mettā practice is learning to open to everything and allowing everything to be what it is, the good and the bad. And so like when you're spreading mettā, you're not spreading mettā to only the good, but to the devil, to the...
- 38:39
Conscious. And you'll find that is the escape. Then they go away from you. And the more you're willing to do that, then you'll find the liberation, the reality of liberation, rather than looking for something called liberation through sitting so many hours a day trying to get something from it. Like in knowing the world also, it's like... You know, this is one thing that was very good in the Thai situation, like with Ajahn Chah. He had a kind of acceptance of the world as the world.
- 53:30
Right now, what is pure at this moment? And then I thought, well, this is awareness. It's pure. Because it isn't anything. It isn't personal. It's not blue or green. It's not male or female. It's not good or bad, right or wrong, or anything.
Transcript
0:10 So if you will take a seat. Report an error in the passage at 0:10
0:19 We're creating the conditions now for questions and answers. Report an error in the passage at 0:19
0:43 This is all being recorded on CD by the Venerable Amarnatho. Report an error in the passage at 0:43
0:52 You notice I'm much more careful what I say now. You know what happened to President Nixon. Everything Report an error in the passage at 0:52
1:04 gets recorded. So, Report an error in the passage at 1:04
1:11 any questions? Report an error in the passage at 1:11
1:26 Well, this is where you trust. Would you repeat your question? Why Report an error in the passage at 1:26
1:47 are you so sure that awareness is not conditioned? Well, it's a natural state that we rest in. So, you're not creating it. So that's where the problem lies with a lot of the way people approach meditation is they get the idea they've got to be mindful and they're trying to become mindful. And mindfulness is like an imminent act. It's just like this. So you can't define it. Report an error in the passage at 1:47
2:22 The more you try to figure out, am I being mindful? Then you're getting caught again, you see. How do I know I'm being mindful right now? Maybe I'm not, maybe I'm just, you know, then I'm thinking again. So it's learning to trust that, just that bare immediacy before the thinking arises, before the doubt about whether you're being mindful arises. Report an error in the passage at 2:22
2:47 And then as you recognize that, you know, you find that that's something that you can always... Be, you know, you forget it because the momentum of your habits will carry you off into thinking and your habitual patterns will take place but then there'll be the point where you remember and then you go back to it. Report an error in the passage at 2:47
3:15 So it's learning to, like, developing or cultivating the way then is remembering this. So, you know, you get caught up in all the worldly habits and then they'll become a point. You know, there's a point where you suddenly, ah, and trust in this again. Just stop, you know, just stop proliferating thinking and making judgments or doubts, but just stop and just remind yourself to relax, to open like this. Report an error in the passage at 3:15
3:50 So when you use words, use it more to reflect, like this, relax. Report an error in the passage at 3:50
4:03 down or to relax or feel at ease, because it's restful, it's a peaceful state. It's not, you know, you're not trying to hold it like this make it happen through increasing, through willful Report an error in the passage at 4:03
4:22 the thinking mind will doubt it, you know, am I just fooling myself? Report an error in the passage at 4:22
4:30 Because there's a fear of being wrong, too. Sometimes emotionally it isn't satisfying. It doesn't seem like very much. And then you read books on getting samādhi and attaining these states. And that sounds like you've really got to strive and develop and get something. And that's how most of us are conditioned to experience life, through attainment. Report an error in the passage at 4:30
4:59 To getting, you know, striving. That's my cultural mindset. It's, you know, hard work, striving, and you'll get what you want. And then this is going against all that. It reflects that tendency to always feel I've got to get something or I've got to get rid of something. Report an error in the passage at 4:59
5:24 And then more and more as you recognize, at first you have to recognize it. It's not very much, really. So it's an intuitive reality rather than something you can hold in your hand and say, ah, this is it. You can't objectify it. This is where it's an act of trust. And then it leads towards relaxation, towards presence, towards peace. Report an error in the passage at 5:24
5:57 In Pāli, the words are what they use for this, intuitive awareness. awareness, Report an error in the passage at 5:57
· · · silence, 1 minute
7:13 Mindfulness. Yeah, Report an error in the passage at 7:13
7:31 well, people attach to the concepts a lot. And that's a danger, the preconceiving, where you have an idea of samādhi and then you try to get something that fits what you think you should get by a preconceiving samādhi or enlightenment. This is where you have to trust yourself because it's non-verbal. You know, you're not... Report an error in the passage at 7:31
7:58 You're not trying to define it or claim it on a personal level, but just recognize it. And then at first, you know, it comes in bits. And then you say, oh, that's, you know, you have the insight where you recognize this natural state. Report an error in the passage at 7:58
8:20 And then you might, in the next second, go back into doubt and anguish again. But the more you have confidence in the directness of it, because it's only you that can know what it is. If you tell me about it, I can try to figure it out according to words and that. But the reality of it is what you experience. And when you try to put words on it, then you can also learn to distrust your direct experience. Report an error in the passage at 8:20
8:58 Does that make sense? Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 8:58
9:17 Yeah, well, that's the limitation of language. Yeah, Report an error in the passage at 9:17
· · · silence, 1 minute
10:00 well, as you trust more in the reality, then it includes everything. It includes the thoughts and the feelings. You know, first, you know, to see the gaps between the thoughts or the emptiness, just to recognize it. But that also, in emptiness, rises forms and thoughts. And they come and go. So you're, you know, you're not trying to just hold on to emptiness either. But you're in a more, in a state of trust and relaxation and attention. Report an error in the passage at 10:00
10:44 Then you're just with the flow of experience in which you can then, you know, level out your karmic tendencies more because you're not creating new karma with the old stuff that arises. You know, if you want to, you know, resolve karmic tendencies, that's where you let them into consciousness, let them be what they are, and then they dissolve. You're not creating any karma with them. Report an error in the passage at 10:44
11:11 You're not suppressing, you're not grasping. So then you'll find the, as you probably well know, the certain habits that start fading away. Report an error in the passage at 11:11
11:26 They don't just drop. Suddenly you have an enlightened experience and then you're just, You know, perfect for the rest of your life. But it's called developing the path, the eightfold path in the Pāli language, where you, you know, it's learning to trust that insight, which may have been very brief, but once you've had that, then it's, you know, that's very strong, and it will, and even though sometimes you may even doubt yourself, thinking you're not, you know, Don't even believe that. You know, you might feel, I'm not getting anywhere and I'm worse than I... Don't believe anything that your conditioned mind tells you. Report an error in the passage at 11:26
12:12 It's like Māra, you know, wants to, you know, say, oh, you're wasting your life, you're fooling yourself. All that, that's just the conditioned rising and ceasing. Don't believe it. told you. Report an error in the passage at 12:12
12:35 Yeah, I think all of us have this, you know, like in, because of the tendency to doubt and the fact that, you know, like if you, you know, the difference between teaching in Thailand and teaching here is that in Thailand you've got a lot of faith. People are culturally attuned to this way, you know, so their cultural basis. Report an error in the passage at 12:35
13:07 is very supportive. So they do have a lot of faith to begin with that most of us don't have. Report an error in the passage at 13:07
13:18 And that means that they have faith in a teacher. They'll do what the teacher says. You do this, do that, and they won't question it. Where with Westerners, The teacher says, do this. You say, why do I have to do this? Report an error in the passage at 13:18
13:44 What's the point? Report an error in the passage at 13:44
13:49 So it's very hard for us to get concentration, you know, like John states in that, because we're too skeptical. You know, you're always doubting what you're doing. Report an error in the passage at 13:49
14:00 And so it's hard to sustain. The positive ones that John is developing. But then the Buddha has this other approach also, the Panyamimuti style, where the questioning, where the skeptical mind is then used for inquiry or investigation. Report an error in the passage at 14:00
14:26 And that's, I think, because I'm a terrible skeptic, and so this is the only way I could do it. It's an investigation. Report an error in the passage at 14:26
· · · silence, 1 minute
14:55 Well then, do you want to use the mic? Can you talk a bit more about concentration and why it's important in sitting practice? Report an error in the passage at 14:55
15:11 Like the concentration or samādhi, concentration is the translation of samādhi, then that is focusing on one thing. And so most of us know how to concentrate, you know, to read or to... Do something, we concentrate on it. And then, say, in developing Ānāpānasati, concentrating on the movement of the breath, focusing and sustaining attention on one thing. Report an error in the passage at 15:11
15:49 And so that develops a lot of, you know, it's like a mental exercise. It strengthens the mental faculties. And it's like doing physical exercises or that to strengthen and create good health in the body. Then the concentration exercises are other ways of developing strong mental faculties. And then the awareness is like what I use is Like concentrating on an object is like concentrating on one point that excludes everything else. So if I'm concentrating on that cushion there, that zafu, I have to shut you off and everyone else. Report an error in the passage at 15:49
16:47 So that's the point that excludes everything. And then another way of looking at the point that includes means the intuitive sense, the mindfulness, where it includes everything, the cushion, you, everyone that's in this conscious moment. And everything, good or bad, desirable or undesirable. So if you get attached to this form of concentration, then you get very controlling. Report an error in the passage at 16:47
17:16 Because if I'm determined to concentrate on that zafu in front of me, and then you start talking to me, I'm going to feel annoyed. I'm going to get angry. I'm trying to concentrate and you're making it impossible. impossible. Report an error in the passage at 17:16
17:34 But if I start with a point that includes the Zafu and you, so whatever happens belongs. You know, to me, just psychologically, that has a good effect on my mind. I can include experience within my concentration so that you're developing a sense of concentration and effort and mindfulness. So it's like some... Report an error in the passage at 17:34
18:04 vayamo samasati samasamati in the eightfold path, you know, the right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration. You know, they support each other. Report an error in the passage at 18:04
18:18 Then, you know, like right now, say if I wanted to concentrate on the zafu and not include the rest of you at this moment, then I'd be aware that this is not the time and the place for that kind of practice. Report an error in the passage at 18:18
18:35 ha, ha. So I mean, you know, the conditions aren't, the time, the place, the situation is not going to allow that, so I don't bother. So then there's Panya operating too, discernment, knowing time and place and when you can do that and when you can't. So if I just think I've got to do that all the time and then I do it here, then you're going to be... Report an error in the passage at 18:35
19:05 I'm frustrated and you don't know what kind of, he's a bit crazy. Report an error in the passage at 19:05
19:14 Maybe I'm trying to do something very skillful, you know, but maybe there's no wisdom in what I'm trying to do. And so the wisdom is, you know, knowing this is not the time and the place for that kind of practice. Report an error in the passage at 19:14
19:27 So then I go this evening into the temple, do the chanting and we sit. I'm facing the shrine and then I decide I want to concentrate on something. And the conditions are there to allow that. So then you're discerning, you're developing wisdom. And knowing when to do that and when to be the point that includes everything. Report an error in the passage at 19:27
19:59 And when you can develop, you know, like doing physical exercise. If you suddenly decide you want to do calisthenics right now, do the jumping jack, you know, it's a good thing to do, but the time and the place. Report an error in the passage at 19:59
20:18 And Report an error in the passage at 20:18
20:23 then more and more, you know, the concentration is, I find much more trust in this point that includes, because that really integrates into life's movements very well. So, you know, in the flow of life and conscious experience, you know, getting up and putting on your clothes and eating your meals and Report an error in the passage at 20:23
20:50 And it has a continuity that integrates awareness, satipanya, into daily life, where the point that exclude means only under certain conditions. So because it excludes, then it doesn't integrate into daily life. It's a special thing you do within a daily life routine. Report an error in the passage at 20:50
21:29 Enlightenment is, you know, there's this word, some people object to it, But it's only a word, you know, it's how you want to use it. Because we tend to make it, you know, enlightenment into this huge experience, you know, 10,000 worlds shaking and, you know, total kind of bliss for the rest of forever, you know, for eternity. Report an error in the passage at 21:29
21:57 But, you know, so one can put it into hyperbolic terms and where it's just an absolutely fantastic experience. So then the realities of enlightenment you might not notice. So what I'm saying here is that, now how I define, how I use the word is turning on the light. Report an error in the passage at 21:57
22:24 Like if the light's too strong, you can't see, it blinds you. So you have an enlightening experience where there's a huge flash, overwhelming flash, and I can't see anything, I'm just... I'm completely overwhelmed with the light. Or, is it the amount of light it takes to see things as they are? Well, this seems much more useful to me. Report an error in the passage at 22:24
22:49 How much light do I need to see things as they are? The consciousness is light, actually. We're conscious beings, so we're in this state where light is our nature because we're conscious. Report an error in the passage at 22:49
23:07 And yet you can cloud over consciousness with all kinds of delusions and fears and anxieties and get terribly depressed and still be fully conscious in the state of depression and so forth and be insane and still be, insane people are still conscious. Report an error in the passage at 23:07
23:27 It's not consciousness, but consciousness then is, you know, it's light. So I remember, you know, Years ago when I was a fairly new monk, you know, thinking, contemplating darkness. Report an error in the passage at 23:27
23:49 So at night time I'd go into a dark room and then I'd just, I'd contemplate, just open my eyes and I'd look at darkness. I'd say, it's really dark, I can't see anything. Put my hand in front, I can't see my hand even, right in front of me. I'd say, it's totally dark, can't see anything. And then suddenly I realized that the ability to see darkness is light. Report an error in the passage at 23:49
24:20 So then you're getting back right to here, you know. Now if I start thinking it's dark, and then I'm afraid of the dark, and then I can wind myself up into a right panic. Fear and paranoia, because the trouble with darkness is you don't know what's there, isn't it? You can imagine anything in a dark room could be there, because you can't see. Report an error in the passage at 24:20
24:49 As soon as you switch on the light, then you can see, oh, there's no ghost, there's no mouse, there's no snake. You switch off the light, God, I think there's a ghost, I think there's a snake in here. here. Report an error in the passage at 24:49
25:09 Switching on the light, like awareness with consciousness, then it's a reflective capacity, so you're using consciousness. And so you're in a dark room and then you start thinking, maybe there's a ghost or a snake. But you're aware that you're creating this. There's a mental creation, you know, a doubt or a fear that you're creating. So you rest in your awareness rather than in the creations that you're making. Report an error in the passage at 25:09
25:40 So it's learning to trust in this awareness rather than in the things that you're creating into awareness. It's like this is the center of the universe. Report an error in the passage at 25:40
25:57 This is the point. This is where experience comes to me through this. And so you are in my consciousness, just speaking like an ordinary person. Report an error in the passage at 25:57
26:12 But yet on a conventional level, You know, you're over there and I'm here and you're a woman and I'm a man and on and on like this and we go on with the conventional assumptions we make as if, you know, we were exactly the same point of consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 26:12
26:36 But, you know, one thing that I can't do right now is I can't see my own face, but you can see it. That's not fair, is it? it? Report an error in the passage at 26:36
26:49 It's my face and I can't even see it. I can see yours. And so this is the way it is. It's not that I need to see my own face, is it? The point is in the seeing itself. That's the value, not in the face. Report an error in the passage at 26:49
27:11 And I can look in the mirror and see reflection. That's a reflection over there in some object. So, and then I go back in the conventional way of, oh I look like this, you know, and identify with the reflection in the mirror. But the awareness is the point, not to create an identity anymore, but to break down that tendency to always limit yourself to such things that are always going to be somehow unsatisfying for you. Report an error in the passage at 27:11
27:47 You know, we're always binding ourselves to unsatisfactoriness. And then we wonder why life is, you know, there's so much anger and hatred and life is a burden and we start complaining about it. Because the habit is to always bind ourselves to conditions that can never fully satisfy us anyway. Their nature is unsatisfactory. Report an error in the passage at 27:47
28:13 So then when we see that, we don't expect satisfaction on that level anymore. We're not demanding it from the conditioned realm because we're finding the reality within. But the reality includes everything. So it's not claiming this as some personal... Report an error in the passage at 28:13
28:37 Attainment. That's why I can't say, well, I am a highly attained person. It doesn't make sense. Because that's creating myself as somebody who has something they didn't have before. That's not how I experience it. It's like going home. home, you know, Lungphatong. It's like going back home to that which you really are, you know, to that which, like a home is a, you know, ideally a place you feel totally at ease. Report an error in the passage at 28:37
29:11 You're not a foreigner or an alien anymore. A safe place to be. So then the home is in this awareness. Report an error in the passage at 29:11
29:22 And then when I become a personality, then I'm throwing myself out of that home into threatening situations. You know, on a personal level, you know, I've got habits. I've got, you know, how I look and how that affects people and tone of voice and accent and body language and emotional state. So you're always, you know, in some way affecting the world around you. Report an error in the passage at 29:22
29:57 through these conditions and then you feel you know you don't quite know oftentimes how you're coming across so you know people say I'm too aggressive some people say I'm not aggressive enough some people say I'm you know cold and indifferent other people say I'm warm and loving and I don't know don't know. Report an error in the passage at 29:57
30:27 You know, they tell what a Buddhist monk should be. This is the one Buddhist monks really resent, is people telling us how we should be. Report an error in the passage at 30:27
30:43 So they say, well, I think Buddhist monks should be full of loving kindness. Report an error in the passage at 30:43
30:53 Yeah, it's true, they should be, but they aren't always that way. Report an error in the passage at 30:53
31:01 Yes? Out Report an error in the passage at 31:01
31:12 in the garden by the nuns' vihara, by the shed, there is a sign. Which is very much faded now. But I believe it has your signature on it. And it says, unconditional love is being aware of the ideal and the present emotion. I think that that's what he says anyway. So I'd like you to confirm it to me that this is what he says. Report an error in the passage at 31:12
31:48 Yeah, Report an error in the passage at 31:48
31:53 if you could explain the meaning of that. Especially since I've heard you talk about the ideal in a somewhat different way. So I wonder whether that was a stage you've been through. Report an error in the passage at 31:53
32:07 Well, ideals are like guiding stars. They keep a direction. So that's a function we have to create ideals. And then we do that. If we do that blindly, So this is where the mindfulness or unconditioned love and all these work together really as a way of being aware of the ideal And the reality of the present. So like Bhikkhu should be full of loving kindness, an ideal. Report an error in the passage at 32:07
33:10 And then the reality of being angry with somebody that said, you should be full of loving kindness. So I feel angry. And so then the awareness is, and then if I'm attached to the ideal, and I say, I should be full of loving kindness, but I'm really angry right now, and I'm angry with you. And I shouldn't be. Then I start persecuting myself because I'm so far removed from the ideal. But if I recognize the ideal is an ideal, it is what it is, and the emotional state is what it is, then that's like unconditioned love. Report an error in the passage at 33:10
33:51 It's like it's accepting. Unconditioned love is not critical. And it's not saying how things should be. Or criticizing the miserable thing in the present either. It's a total acceptance, like mettā practice is learning to open to everything and allowing everything to be what it is, the good and the bad. Report an error in the passage at 33:51
34:19 And so like when you're spreading mettā, you're not spreading mettā to only the good, but to the devil, to the... forces of evil and so forth. You're spreading mettā equally to all creation. So it's a way of, so it's not approving or liking, but it's embracing in this acceptance, non-critical acceptance, which is unconditioned love. Report an error in the passage at 34:19
34:49 So that includes everything. Then the state of mind you're in, the anger, the ideal. The self-flagellation, that you should be and you aren't, and on and on like that, it accepts all that. So after a while, the more you can accept, even your emotional reactions and your self-criticism with mettā, then you'll find that you're simplifying everything in your life. Report an error in the passage at 34:49
35:24 You're learning to see things as they are, rather than Then thinking that, saying, oh, I shouldn't be angry. I should feel love for all creatures. But I'm angry because I'm so bad. And even accepting that. As soon as you get to the state of accepting, of embracing, then you learn to trust that. And you'll see these things drop because you're not, you know, you're calling their bluff, really. Report an error in the passage at 35:24
36:00 You're learning to recognize the conditioned phenomena as impermanent and not self, in the reality, not through the theory or the idea of it. Report an error in the passage at 36:00
36:19 So, like, I found that difficult, like there's certain things that I don't like about myself at all. So, certain habits, emotional habits that I don't like, and I never have. Report an error in the passage at 36:19
36:39 And so it's easy, you know, it used to be very easy to just, when these things arise, to just go into a condemnation and rejection. Report an error in the passage at 36:39
36:53 Because, you know, they aren't very nice, they're immature, they're stupid, they're ridiculous. You have all these ways of, you know, reacting to them. And they are, you know, some of them are really stupid. stupid and and immature. Report an error in the passage at 36:53
37:14 then, this is what happens, know, no matter how I describe it, it is the way it is. know, so my relationship changes from... Simplifying. that are, you know, saying how bad it is and how stupid it is, even though that's true, it is stupid and bad. I don't have to do that anymore. I just recognize that it's like this, simplifying. Report an error in the passage at 37:14
37:41 And then that tendency, you realize you've created a whole pattern throughout your life that just perpetuates itself. So even, you know, in your mind, if you haven't gotten to the root of it, then you're still going to do the same thing that you did when you were five, six years old. It'll just carry on. So you, you know, that's a pattern that you acquire when you're very young. Report an error in the passage at 37:41
38:10 It carries through to your old age if you never awaken. Then once you awaken, then these patterns are seen. They're not judged. You don't have to call them immature or stupid anymore. They are what they are. But then you're not trying to justify them or rationalize them. You're just allowing them to be So then you can Report an error in the passage at 38:10
38:39 Conscious. And you'll find that is the escape. Then they go away from you. And the more you're willing to do that, then you'll find the liberation, the reality of liberation, rather than looking for something called liberation through sitting so many hours a day trying to get something from it. Report an error in the passage at 38:39
39:13 Like in knowing the world also, it's like... Report an error in the passage at 39:13
39:23 You know, this is one thing that was very good in the Thai situation, like with Ajahn Chah. He had a kind of acceptance of the world as the world. He was not idealistic. He had just kind of a grounded sense, well, the world, human nature is like this, human beings are like this, men are like this, women are like that. Report an error in the passage at 39:23
39:49 And so it's like the kind of He didn't idealize how things should be. And that was quite powerful because from my background, Americans were very idealistic people. And so we're brought up in a society that has high ideals of how things should be. And so we seldom know contentment with anything because... Report an error in the passage at 39:49
40:20 No matter what I have right now, I can always imagine it being better than this. And, you know, it's just how the mind works. So in the Thai Forest Monastery, you know, I could get very critical of it because I could see how much better it could be if they did this and didn't do that. Report an error in the passage at 40:20
40:45 But then I began to get the point, you know, when I tuned in. To Luang Por Chah, then I began to see that he was a contented human being, which I never met before in my life. Report an error in the passage at 40:45
41:01 Which was very encouraging to think that's possible. And in situations that I could become very critical of. You know, he had a sense of ease with being himself. And he was like a... it. Report an error in the passage at 41:01
41:19 He was fully human. He wasn't a kind of ethereal walking on the air and spacey person. He was a very grounded, very earthy kind of man. Very human and very humorous. So he had a way of accepting the human limitation without hating it or resenting it or taking it personally as some kind of personal flaw. Report an error in the passage at 41:19
41:49 And I found that very helpful, like living in Thailand for me was helpful to get some perspective on this idealism that's my cultural conditioning. Report an error in the passage at 41:49
42:04 Because it's very hard to be content if you're idealistic, you know, because you're always, you know, even when things are, you know, You know, reach their peak and they're exactly what you want. You know, it's going to change. And you start anxiously fearing anything coming in and destroying the peaceful harmony of our community. Report an error in the passage at 42:04
42:30 You know, in a monastery, sometimes you have peaks where everything is just everybody's getting along and everything's going along nicely. Report an error in the passage at 42:30
42:42 It's not going to stay like this. And then you get into controlling. You see somebody coming. Troublemaker. How can you be content with a peak moment? Report an error in the passage at 42:42
42:59 Contentment doesn't lie there in everything being nice and harmonious, but in trusting in your awareness. What you can trust in it, in your refuge, you can find contentment within that. And then deal with the, respond to the changing conditions in suitable ways. When they're good or not so good, whatever, then your responses to them are usually appropriate and useful. Report an error in the passage at 42:59
43:43 You see, the problems of, you know, Listening to the news on the Radio 4, amazing what's going on. The endless blaming and discontentment of the people in charge of these countries. Report an error in the passage at 43:43
44:13 I Report an error in the passage at 44:13
44:22 know it. I know the skepticism. I used to be a really countries. Report an error in the passage at 44:22
44:33 Top notch skeptic. So I use that. Because the skepticism is created through thought. So I started observing, thinking, and doubting. Report an error in the passage at 44:33
44:47 And so that I found, you know, because I couldn't resolve it just by thinking. Because all thinking takes you to more doubt. You know, so just trying to prove everything, you know, rationally. Or trying to verify, like, you know, is, is, Report an error in the passage at 44:47
45:10 You know, like you say Theravāda Buddhism. They say, why did you become Theravadan Buddhist? And then, so then you can say, well, because it's, you know, you've got all these statements about it being a pure form of Buddhism and the original Buddhism and so forth. And then you, and then you, then everybody says, well, you know, it's a, Report an error in the passage at 45:10
45:39 Buddha has advanced into the more, you know, grander forms, Mahāyāna. And then you find yourself saying, no, no, no, no, this is the pure form, and that's not. You start having a bias. And then somebody says, how do you know it's the pure form? Ajahn Chah said so, and Buddha Nasa said so, and the Saṅgha Raja of Thailand said so. Report an error in the passage at 45:39
46:08 They might not know why they are. Report an error in the passage at 46:08
46:13 Then the doubt goes on and on. So then rather than trying to prop up the things that I'm doing, or monastic life, people say, you don't have to do it as a monk. Mindfulness says you can do it as a lay person. You don't have to be celibate. You can have a relationship and still be mindful. It's true. Report an error in the passage at 46:13
46:38 then Then you start quoting, well, the Buddha said, you go off to the forest, bhikkhus and that. But the thing is, you don't know. I happen to be a bhikkhu, so this is what I'm working with. This is the conventional form I've chosen. And so this is, if people can do it other ways, I'm saying I don't know, because this is what I do know. Report an error in the passage at 46:38
47:11 So then I can be skeptical, but I don't bother anymore to doubt it, because I just get tangled up with more views and opinions and preferences and positions, and I don't see any point in doing that anymore. Or seeing, you know, I became Theravāda because I happened to be in Southeast Asia. Simple as that. Not because I thought it was... Report an error in the passage at 47:11
47:41 It's not superior to any other, but because it was convenient when you're in Thailand and this is what was on offer. So I took that. It wasn't because I was convinced that it was somehow better than the rest. And then the whole thing is to be aware of opinions and views. So preferences, you're aware of how you prefer this. Report an error in the passage at 47:41
48:11 Or over the others, where that is a condition you're creating, not as a reality. Just because I prefer it doesn't mean it's better or anything. It is what it is. And to recognize also the limitations of it. You know, every convention has its own limitations and flaws. I mean, recognizing that without thinking, oh, because it's not perfect, then... Report an error in the passage at 48:11
48:36 It's disappointed me, but it works. It's functional if you're using it for awareness. But if you're expecting to be totally satisfied with the convention, I've not found that, total satisfaction, because in every way it's so perfect. But I've learned how to learn from my dissatisfaction with it and the resistance to it. Report an error in the passage at 48:36
49:05 And the skepticism about it. Report an error in the passage at 49:05
49:17 Really, you're going right to the root of it, where suffering arises. Report an error in the passage at 49:17
49:26 And so this is why the encouragement is to awaken rather than try to convince you you should all become nuns and monks. Report an error in the passage at 49:26
49:40 Because that's the awakening is what the Buddha is pointing to. The conventions then can be skillful means towards that. But one can use conventions wrongly too. Like how you use monasticism. Report an error in the passage at 49:40
50:08 If you're using it for identity and attachment and all that, then it doesn't work either. So it's not a matter of clinging to it and identifying with it. uh... Report an error in the passage at 50:08
50:26 But in learning to use a convention to reflect clinging and a tendency towards identifying or towards idealizing it or being skeptical about it. Report an error in the passage at 50:26
50:45 And then, fortunately, as time goes by, like now, I notice morning-evening pujas. You know, part of monastic form is to do these pujas in the morning and evening. Report an error in the passage at 50:45
51:02 We say namo tatsa bhagavato. And at first, you know, you memorize this before you know anything about Pāli. So you're learning it like a parrot. You know, namo tatsa bhagavato. And then you find a translation of it. Homage to the blessed, noble, perfectly enlightened one. And then we do chanting in English also. So then you know what it means. Report an error in the passage at 51:02
51:32 Noble, perfectly enlightened, blessed. It's a word like blessed. It's a word I've used. Blessings and may you be blessed. Blessings from heaven and blessed are they. That's when I realized I didn't really know what blessing is. It was a reality. I could define the word. Report an error in the passage at 51:32
52:01 Bhagavato, blessed one. What is blessing? word Report an error in the passage at 52:01
52:06 And so then, by reflecting, I began to recognize what blessing is, you know, as a reality, rather than as some abstract idea that I assumed I knew. And like enlightened one, or purity, words like this. Report an error in the passage at 52:06
52:36 So when you're trying to live a pure life, The holy life. And then the ideal of purity and holiness is very intimidating. If you don't, what do we mean by purity? And then I've heard some monks say, well, I never think about it. It's just one of those words that make you feel terrible all the time. Report an error in the passage at 52:36
53:10 Because you see it as an ideal that is so far removed from the way you see your own reality. What is purity? Report an error in the passage at 53:10
53:30 Right now, what is pure at this moment? And then I thought, well, this is awareness. It's pure. Because it isn't anything. It isn't personal. It's not blue or green. It's not male or female. It's not good or bad, right or wrong, or anything. purity. What is purity? Report an error in the passage at 53:30
53:56 So then, suddenly I had, this purity is my true nature. Suddenly it's like, you want to put it back in conventional terms, that suddenly you're awakening to purity as a reality rather than as an ideal that you never can quite realize or recognize through your personal tendencies or emotional habits. Report an error in the passage at 53:56
54:21 And I thought, well, my personality is never going to be pure. Personalities, they're never pure, nor emotional habits. They are what they are, but you can't claim them as pure. Report an error in the passage at 54:21
54:34 So by judging myself, you know, as a person, and of course purity seems like a hopeless, you know, idealism, because, you know, it's like asking a, you know, this Zen story of a monk, Zen monk practicing. Report an error in the passage at 54:34
54:57 The Zen master comes along and says, what are you doing? He says, I'm trying to purify the mind. So the master picks up a brick and starts wiping it, polishing it, polishing it. What are you doing? He says, I'm trying to make a mirror out of this brick. Report an error in the passage at 54:57
55:30 So this is where, you know, like whatever you think you are, you're not that. You know, it's a thought. And so these thoughts are not, you know, sometimes they, we are like this arises and I appear like this and feel like that. But the awareness is a constant factor. That's what, you know, so if I'm in a happy state or depressed state or bored state or whatever, the awareness is that which supports all of that. Report an error in the passage at 55:30
56:03 So I learned to rest in the awareness rather than make a problem about the The personal condition that's present. Report an error in the passage at 56:03
56:29 So this is like meditation, how we regard meditation. Sometimes it's like polishing bricks, isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 56:29
56:48 Hoping to make a mirror out of a brick. Because that's how the worldly mind thinks. I've tried to become purified as a person. it? Report an error in the passage at 56:48
57:03 And no matter how strict I am with the Vinaya, and how good I am, I never feel purified as a person. So then I thought, well, that's not what they mean, you know. It's like examining even the words we're using. Because if purity, if dharma is purity, then it has to be now. It's not something, you don't attain purity. Or maybe, you know, you contain refined states. Report an error in the passage at 57:03
57:34 But then you can easily lose them because refinement depends on special conditions supporting refinement. A lot of our experience of life is gross and coarse. And so that's part of the human experience, isn't it? You can move between refined mental states and coarse physical ones and between refinement and coarseness and that. Report an error in the passage at 57:34
58:05 The awareness of that rather than the preference. If we prefer refined, very special, refined states, then we find the world unbearable, vulgar and depressing. The coarseness of the human body absolutely appalls us and repels us. See, poverty and dirt and And seeing pictures of rotting corpses or, you know, all this, the horrors of this planet are, you know, I don't want to know that. Report an error in the passage at 58:05
58:47 I want to live in this realm of, I'm just in a very refined, lovely state of bliss. But then knowing the world, you recognize the world's not like that. You know, that's a special state dependent on conditions. The world's like this, you know, it's about physical body. Report an error in the passage at 58:47
59:05 That has needs, basic needs. Needs to be fed and needs rest, needs water. It has sexual energy in it. It's for procreation. It's a sensitive form. So it's always being in some way impinged on, you know. And you're always, you know, whatever passes in front of your eyes, you know, it registers in your consciousness if it's refined or hideous. Report an error in the passage at 59:05
59:36 So it's like, this is the way it is. Having a human body is like this. Having senses is like this. This sensitivity includes both the coarse and the refined. So knowing the world is the world helps a lot. Report an error in the passage at 59:36
59:58 Not imagining an ideal world and then hating the realities of this one. But recognizing that right now we're involved in Having a human body, it's like this. It's an animal type body. It's not that much different from chimpanzee. It's, you know, we have the same functions as the animals and we have the same passions. Report an error in the passage at 59:58
1:00:25 Self-preservation, procreation, hunger, fear, jealousy, all these are common to the mammalian realm. You see it in your pets. Dogs and cats get jealous and have a lot of fear and greed. So I mean, these are, you know, we're not all that much, you know, we can certainly empathize on those levels. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:25
1:00:59 So then knowing the world is the world is then a way of Knowing time and place is like this, so therefore you're not demanding that it be something it isn't. So then you begin to find in yourself a level of peace and contentment which you can reflect from because you're not waiting for the future to find the right teacher, the right place, the right situation in order to perfect yourself because you're able to use The way it is with awareness, then wisdom, satipanya. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:59
1:02:00 So, if there Report an error in the passage at 1:02:00
1:02:07 aren't any more eager beavers in this room. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:07
1:02:13 Anyway, what I've said this afternoon is, poor reflection, don't believe me. I'm just encouraging you to find out for yourself. room Report an error in the passage at 1:02:13
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Talk by Ajahn Sumedho. Original at Amaravati Buddhist Monastery via Internet Archive: https://archive.org/details/ajahn-sumedho-dhamma-talks. Licensed CC BY-NC-ND 4.0. Transcript generated automatically and may contain errors; the audio is the authoritative version.
Talks of Ajahn Sumedho, archived on Internet Archive. More from Amaravati