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- 0:42
Like beginning meditation is usually based on just paying attention to the most obvious physical functions right now, such as breathing or the posture. We have the four postures, sitting, standing, walking, lying down. These are ordinary postures that we use through the day and night. But we don't notice. We just tend to move in habitual ways.
- 2:19
At first we get very bored or restless because the conditioning of the mind is to seek interesting things or extremities of some sort. So we're conditioned to always look for something to do. It's not like eating food or watching the television or doing something that's interesting or distracting. So with awareness we begin to recognize just these restless movements.
- 8:06
Well, it's like the concentration at the nostrils, I see it's more tranquilizing. You get very tranquil with that, where the abdomen is coarser, but it's also... You know, very mindful. The main point is the mindfulness. You know, develop awareness.
- 13:09
And so I find that I encourage this sense of trusting in this awareness more, in your ability to be aware. What I'm saying right now is this sense of empowering you in a way to trust yourself more rather than put too much confidence in a teacher or a method and then always feel maybe you haven't quite got it or you're not getting anywhere and actually being intimidated by others. So, in that...
- 23:09
They are what they are. And you're letting them be what they are and then their nature is to cease. So you'll find increasing confidence in awareness and a strength, you know, trusting in awareness as you test it out, you know, see for yourself. Yes?
Transcript
0:00 If you have any questions or anything to offer, this is the time to do so. Report an error in the passage at 0:00
0:13 Yes? Report an error in the passage at 0:13
0:21 Good question. Report an error in the passage at 0:21
0:34 Yeah, how to do it. Well, like it's, like... you for letting those... Report an error in the passage at 0:34
0:30 question. Report an error in the passage at 0:30
0:42 Like beginning meditation is usually based on just paying attention to the most obvious physical functions right now, such as breathing or the posture. We have the four postures, sitting, standing, walking, lying down. These are ordinary postures that we use through the day and night. But we don't notice. We just tend to move in habitual ways. Report an error in the passage at 0:42
1:12 So it's learning to just awaken to just the most obvious things like the experience of sitting or the inhalation, exhalation, say through the nostril, where you feel it in your body. Just bringing attention to the present, to that which is right now, that isn't too highly fraught with Your emotions or your identity as your self-worth, you know, like breathing is a vital function of the body, but it isn't usually a kind of strong egotistical attachment. Report an error in the passage at 1:12
1:53 And so it's, you know, kind of the same, you breathe in, breathe out, and it's not a matter of being superior to anyone else's. So, but it is, you know, it's... The body stops breathing, that's it. And then just noticing as you bring attention into the present, you're more aware of what goes on, what comes up. Report an error in the passage at 1:53
2:19 At first we get very bored or restless because the conditioning of the mind is to seek interesting things or extremities of some sort. Report an error in the passage at 2:19
2:33 So we're conditioned to always look for something to do. It's not like eating food or watching the television or doing something that's interesting or distracting. So with awareness we begin to recognize just these restless movements. Report an error in the passage at 2:33
2:56 And not in a critical way, it's not to say you shouldn't be like this, but to learn to recognize the value of just attention in the present. And as you begin to have more confidence in attention, and you recognize it and appreciate it, then it becomes very strong, very powerful. powerful, but Report an error in the passage at 2:56
3:26 In a society, like you're living in a society that's basically trying to distract you endlessly. So, you know, with all the high tech and there's endless distractions, you know. It's not like, say, 200 years ago where you had to spend time just, you know, in boring situations. You know, you can easily just with your computer on your television or... Report an error in the passage at 3:26
3:55 Get on a flight to some lovely place or just eat whatever you want or drugs or alcohol. All these things are part of a society that has lost its way and that offers no sense of oneness but just to kind of condition you to be discontented. You know, like modern capitalism is based on creating discontentment so that you're never satisfied with anything because you could always, the latest improved model is always better than what you have. Report an error in the passage at 3:55
4:41 So the, so the, and in meditation where, you know, like Buddhist monasticism is based on this contentment with little. So you, You know, you don't, you just, like the monastic reflection on just shelter for the night or whatever food is given you. So you're, and that helps to reflect the cultural conditioning, which my cultural conditioning is based on not being content, but I was trying to get, improve everything and get everything, you know, get better, something better than what I have right now. Report an error in the passage at 4:41
5:23 So the... And then the monastic reflection is being content with basic things, you know, just at a very low standard, not having a high standard that you need. Report an error in the passage at 5:23
5:39 There's so much interest in meditation all over now. Because modern society, wherever you go, it's about the problems around people feel stressed. The stress is the... I was in Russia for two weeks last month in Moscow and St. Petersburg and stress was the big subject. And then you go to Bangkok or Colombo or go to New Delhi or wherever. Report an error in the passage at 5:39
6:21 People are suffering from this. It's just because modern society, we've lost, you know, we've created stress into it because everything moves too quickly now. You know, we're not aware of natural rhythms. We're forcing everything too much. And, you know, we've developed this will and this drive, but we've lost that wisdom faculty to align ourselves with the natural flow of life. Report an error in the passage at 6:21
6:54 To be content and develop wisdom, this is not part of modern life at all. So you sometimes wonder what is really happening in a world, an overpopulated planet, where even on the comfortable side of the planet where everybody has a high level of luxury and convenience, still... Report an error in the passage at 6:54
7:25 is the result of that. And so it is driving people, forcing people to look at themselves more closely, than thinking, well, if I have the latest model, then will solve all my problems. And you know, it won't. Report an error in the passage at 7:25
7:50 Going back to meditation, is there any difference with the of the breath with the pointy nose and the concentration of the abdomen rising and falling? Well, it's like the concentration at the nostrils, I see it's more tranquilizing. Report an error in the passage at 7:50
8:17 You get very tranquil with that, where the abdomen is coarser, but it's also... You know, very mindful. The main point is the mindfulness. You know, develop awareness. Report an error in the passage at 8:17
8:36 But I learned through, you know, with the teacher I was with, Ajahn Chah, we developed awareness around the nostrils. So that's what I generally teach. But I have done both. It's a change. awareness Report an error in the passage at 8:36
8:52 It's good to, you know, you can develop both, to see the difference, you know. The main thing is, you know, at first, just to use what's most obvious for you. You know, if you fear, you know, what's the easiest point? Where do you feel your breath most? I've tried Report an error in the passage at 8:52
9:21 but it's difficult It feels like, you know, that's maybe I'm conditioned to... Yeah, you get into, you're conditioned to... But I wonder if there is a difference, if it's important to the life of one or the other. Well, I use both, actually. Because the point is for you to find out what is the result, not to say, well... Report an error in the passage at 9:21
9:51 You have to do it at the nostril. And then I say that's the only way to do it. You can't do it at the abdomen. Then you go along with what I say. More or less is to find out for yourself. Not to find out which is better, but it's the result of doing it this way. But I found the result generally is you begin to get a sense for the whole breath of the body. Report an error in the passage at 9:51
10:21 If you start, this is the beginning, this is the end, you know, to inhale, and then you feel the inhalation, and then the exhalation. So you get what they call the full body breath, eventually. There's also clear concentration with the breath, but with the rising and falling, sometimes the mind, it seems harder to pull it back. Report an error in the passage at 10:21
10:52 Yeah, well... Yeah, and like in certain, like any technique, like meditation techniques, and so then they tend to, each teacher promotes their technique, because that's what they know, and then we tend to condition ourselves with a technique. But also, this is, say, what I'm more interested in is developing an attitude. Report an error in the passage at 10:52
11:24 And then the techniques, you can use them, you know. The attitude is learning to trust in your awareness. So that you're, you know, you're beginning to, because this is where we're most inadequate in the, most of us in, say in the Western world, like we're, I'm not from a Buddhist family or Buddhist culture. Report an error in the passage at 11:24
11:51 So I find in most of the Western, Monks and nuns here became Buddhists as adults, so we're conditioned in a different way. We don't have a lot of faith from a cultural experience. Report an error in the passage at 11:51
12:08 People from Sri Lanka or Thailand, Cambodia, they've got a cultural convention that holds them, that has a lot of faith in it. that we we don't tend to have at all so our big problem is is doubt and skepticism and and lack of confidence Report an error in the passage at 12:08
12:36 experience, a lack of confidence in the method or the teaching or whatever. So doubt is one of our biggest, you know, the things that easily takes us over. And a lack of self ...of confidence in yourself, because it's easy to just see yourself in terms of who am I, I'm not getting anywhere in my practice, just to be critical of yourself. Report an error in the passage at 12:36
13:09 And so I find that I encourage this sense of trusting in this awareness more, in your ability to be aware. What I'm saying right now is this sense of empowering you in a way to trust yourself more rather than put too much confidence in a teacher or a method and then always feel maybe you haven't quite got it or you're not getting anywhere and actually being intimidated by others. Report an error in the passage at 13:09
13:47 So, in that... The sense of trusting in your awareness, not in what you're thinking or feeling, because you can't trust, but you begin to see, well, I can do this. This is natural to me. This awareness is my real refuge. Then that will allow any technique to be, then the techniques or the methods can be... Report an error in the passage at 13:47
14:21 You know, whatever you find helpful, you can use. It's not a matter that one method is better than another. I mean, even though people say this method is better, that's their opinion. Report an error in the passage at 14:21
14:39 And you just believe, maybe you have confidence in the teacher, so you go along with him. But this is where, you know, instead of... Report an error in the passage at 14:39
14:51 Empowering the teacher, you learn to empower yourself. You learn to recognize that this is up to you. And I found this very, you know, in teaching here in the West, this is very much what I realize I can offer because of suffering from the same problem. I understand what the problem is with Western people who are practicing meditation. A total lack of confidence in yourself and always... Report an error in the passage at 14:51
15:21 Seeing, you know, tendency towards dwelling on the fact that you can't do it according to the way you're looking at somebody else or what the teacher says or what's in the books and then feeling this despair or sense of not being good enough. Report an error in the passage at 15:21
15:44 And this, of course, is the ego again, the conditioning of your... Your conditioned mind, where when you're aware, that isn't conditioned, that's not culturally conditioned by anything. But it is generally not acknowledged or recognized in modern life. Report an error in the passage at 15:44
16:10 It's not that we can't do it, it's that we don't recognize it or value it. So I place great value on awareness. As you can tell by the way I talk. But in terms of appreciating it, in my ability to be aware, not kind of patting myself on the back and saying, I'm really aware, because that's another ego thing, but confidence in the awareness, because it's natural. Report an error in the passage at 16:10
16:41 It's not a created state that I get through practicing some kind of meditation technique. It's a natural state. That I can refer to anytime in whatever situation. And then putting that into, in life for example, applying that to the experiences that I'm having. So people started criticizing and... Report an error in the passage at 16:41
17:20 and abusing me and then I can Report an error in the passage at 17:20
17:42 People me. Report an error in the passage at 17:42
17:48 about me where it tends to, you know, my ego gets inflated. I think the opportunity to be aware, applying it to just life here in the monastery with the comings and goings, the pleasant, the painful, peace and the confusion that one experiences just living here. then you find it connects, it has a, you know, it is a natural state. Report an error in the passage at 17:48
18:14 That isn't dependent on conditions supporting it once it's recognized and appreciated. So that's what I call in the formula, in the Buddhist formula of refuge in Buddha, Dhamma, Saṅgha. You know, when they take the three refuges. This is what it really amounts to, is awareness. Report an error in the passage at 18:14
18:40 Yes? Report an error in the passage at 18:40
18:45 Maybe it's in this field, my question. It's about when I'm really... Report an error in the passage at 18:45
18:58 a lot of power and it's for me like the question how to deal with it because when i when i feel it then i can just operate Report an error in the passage at 18:58
19:08 but sometimes it's overwhelming for other people and then i'm like on the edge of shall i do now what it's like it's a lot of um powerful fiery energy and if i can really use it for something special then it It can can be be that the there's something good that can come out of it. on the other hand, I get dangerous for other people sometimes. Report an error in the passage at 19:08
19:38 Well this is where you have to trust your your awareness and then you know on the level of ...of action in speech, you know, do good, refrain from doing harm. So like the moral base is necessary to, you know, in terms of relating to the society and the world around us and our own physical condition is just that simple adage of do good, refrain from doing bad. Report an error in the passage at 19:38
20:13 And... So then that intention, you know, like not, you know, even though I might, you know, because in awareness then things do come up into consciousness, repressed emotions and fears and negativity. Report an error in the passage at 20:13
20:37 And it takes, you know, patience to bear with it and not to just suppress it or to just follow it. So it's learning to trust that awareness. And in the midst of a storm, just be patient with it. And then in terms of, and let it be what it is. And then it will naturally, you know, you'll begin to see it. It is a changing energy that ceases. Report an error in the passage at 20:37
21:08 You know, if you just let it be what it is. And then to refrain from speaking or acting on it. But it's full of receptivity towards it. But it's not binding yourself to it or trying to get rid of it. Report an error in the passage at 21:08
21:30 it was stuff that i long time was doing i was like controlling it yeah also maybe violent against myself like i was also very good at all these things like really using it for for um for something destructive Report an error in the passage at 21:30
21:52 Learning like being patient and even welcoming, like I found because of a habit of resisting and suppressing towards negative states, I developed skillful means like welcoming negative states. Report an error in the passage at 21:52
22:14 Because the conditioning was around rejection of negativity, controlling. So I found that helpful. When I find myself resisting something, then I see that and I stop doing it. I welcome even pain or unpleasant things that I tend to react to with resistance. Report an error in the passage at 22:14
22:45 And then as you see, you know, you begin to find your strength within the awareness and you realize there's nothing to fear. And that as you receive those negative states and learn from them that they are conditions arising, ceasing, and they're not, no longer you see, you know, labeling them as yours or your faults or anything like that. Report an error in the passage at 22:45
23:09 They are what they are. And you're letting them be what they are and then their nature is to cease. So you'll find increasing confidence in awareness and a strength, you know, trusting in awareness as you test it out, you know, see for yourself. Report an error in the passage at 23:09
23:36 Yes? Report an error in the passage at 23:36
23:51 No, it's, I mean, because like in receiving them, it's not, it sounds maybe like you're... You know, you're putting it kind of like some kind of object in a laboratory. But certainly you're feeling the whole thing. But your relationship to it is receptive and allowing rather than critical or judging. So if there's a part of me that just is fooling myself thinking this is just an object and Report an error in the passage at 23:51
24:29 receiving I'm still resisting I'm developing a more clever resistance to it it learning to to trust in your awareness in which these emotions do you know you do cry and feel and and but you're but you're learning to listen to it to recognize it not judge it and and it but to see see it it and and to To receive something, even something you fear or what you've maybe spent your life resisting, but your relationship to it is one of receptivity and non-judgment. Report an error in the passage at 24:29
25:17 And then you've seen it in terms of how you express it. and that, can... One does a lot of crying or, you know, like anger. I used to, I found, you know, even writing it out, you know, anger, kind of making it more conscious, or to be able to talk to somebody about it, willing to listen. And these ways of making it fully received in consciousness, then you'll see that its very nature is change and cessation. Report an error in the passage at 25:17
25:56 And then the tendency, that tends to, then that habit tendency starts fading out, you know, you're not reinforcing it, like either indulging in it or suppressing it tends to reinforce the habit, where awareness of it doesn't reinforce the habit, so the habit is not being... Report an error in the passage at 25:56
26:22 Reinforced through action and speech, but being recognized through wisdom and awareness. Yes? Can I just come back to the universe as a mirror? I just asked a question. Herman Hesse had that quite well-known quote about what we dislike in another person. It's a part of ourselves. Since what is not a part of us got to be disturbed. Now, Report an error in the passage at 26:22
26:51 probably resonates with many people in the room, intuitively we get it, but I wonder if you could comment further on that. If, for example, someone came into your space, who would... Report an error in the passage at 26:51
27:03 some fairly horrific act and it bothered you does that bother yourself? Report an error in the passage at 27:03
27:11 Well, it's like, you know, on the level of, well, Report an error in the passage at 27:11
27:21 this is where you have to trust in your intuition. intuition. And this is where being theoretical is hard to do because conditions are not the same. But the more I trust in the awareness, then my responses to particular situations are much better, more useful and helpful. If I try to figure out what I'll do if somebody comes in here and... Report an error in the passage at 27:21
27:55 If I start doing things I don't like, then I'd be theorizing about it, it'd be speculative. And so the awareness is, you know, I'm aware of this speculation because these conditions aren't here for that, so I'm just speculating. So in learning to recognize the way things are right now, then when an extreme situation arises, you know, The response to that situation would be appropriate to the conditions present. Do you understand? Report an error in the passage at 27:55
28:35 I know, like, I find people, you know, you're living in a community, monastic community, where, and it's quite a large monastic community, so you've got people here who, you know, who you find, You know, you like better than others and you find more in common and others you feel very distant from and others you feel very critical of. Report an error in the passage at 28:35
29:13 And so you're in a community where you're of individuals, individual personalities. Then, and you're living together in a monastic community, so then the awareness is learning from that, from the way, you know, what really upsets me in somebody else, what really, you know, triggers off indignation. I can usually see, you know, something, you know, like righteous indignation is, Report an error in the passage at 29:13
29:56 ...is an emotion that I have a lot of. And it's very strong with me. And so when I pick it up in others, I get righteously indignant about the righteous indignation of others. Report an error in the passage at 29:56
30:24 And if anything I can't stand is righteous indignation in others. So I find, you know, it really threatens me in a way when people... Righteous indignation is a strong habit. Report an error in the passage at 30:24
30:58 The thing with righteous indignation is that you're right. Report an error in the passage at 30:58
31:08 so, you know, and being right is. Report an error in the passage at 31:08
31:38 I see that emotion righteous indignation we can always own up to but if it was something many years ago I was very angry about the fact that I was verbal how is his action as a thief on the planet Report an error in the passage at 31:38
31:56 would that disturb you? I've never spilled anything as far as I know that. But burglary also is, it's like an invasion. There's something very distressing about somebody coming into your Space and taking something, isn't it? I think it's a kind of instinctual thing. You know, it's a very threatening, you know, I mean, on a rational level, you can say it doesn't really matter, you know, but it's more on the gut level, isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 31:56
32:31 A sense of really being threatened, living in a place where that happens, where somebody invades your house or your... and take something there's something very very threatening in that I think to all all of us and of primal. Report an error in the passage at 32:31
33:02 too, know, protecting your place. Report an error in the passage at 33:02
33:16 we don't know, like, in anything like that, how would, you know, I've never been prone towards burglary. It's never been a kind of temptation in my life that's had any great attraction. But then, if I were in a situation for survival, what would I do? I can only speculate. But I know that I don't know what I'd do. Report an error in the passage at 33:16
33:53 If it was a matter of life and death or survival or stealing a loaf of bread to feed my starving family, I can speculate. But I can also see the potential in myself when the conditions for that are present. In the present state, those conditions have never arisen with me. I've never been so desperate that I needed to steal something from somebody. Report an error in the passage at 33:53
34:22 somebody, a burglar their house. Report an error in the passage at 34:22
34:55 You know, Report an error in the passage at 34:55
35:12 how do you know? And those that committed atrocities or terrible things in the war. Report an error in the passage at 35:12
35:21 What would you do if you were in such a situation? If you've seen films like Platoon or whatever, where you're on the battlefield and everything's coming at you and you're totally desperate, what would you do? This I don't know what I'd do. So then, by recognizing that, I don't... I don't put myself on a moral plane above them and say, you know, I would never do such a thing. You know, when those conditions have never come up for me, well, I don't know what I'd do. Report an error in the passage at 35:21
36:03 Now, hopefully I would do the right thing and the development of awareness and that would help, you know, I would, this I hope, you know, spent a lifetime developing because I could see on the condition level, I couldn't trust that, that even though I held to ideals and admired, you know, it was quite altruistic as a person, sometimes those don't help you when you're in a critical situation and you find yourself doing something you despise, where with awareness... Report an error in the passage at 36:03
36:47 That I would feel, I feel confident that in what life presents me I'm more capable now of responding to it in a more skillful way than I would if I was just caught in fear and blind fear without any reference to it. Report an error in the passage at 36:47
37:08 But in, like, there's kind of primal emotions that we have, like fear is one of them, you know, survival. It's not greed and anger. These are like primal emotions that we all have and animals have. These are basic kind of emotional states that in the human realm, especially modern... Report an error in the passage at 37:08
37:45 Western culture we complicate by strongly identifying with them and judging them. So we tend to feel very guilty about feeling anger or lust or fear. So we become neurotic because we have these basic, these primal emotions. And then we judge them from an altruistic position of, they're bad, and then create this sense of, I shouldn't feel this anger, I shouldn't feel this jealousy. Report an error in the passage at 37:45
38:29 I'm not a very good person because I feel these emotions. Where in a Buddhist... I noticed that the Thais had a much more kind of acceptance of the human limitation. They weren't so altruistic or idealistic about life. Like Ajahn Chah, Lungpho Chah, was one thing. He seemed to be fully at ease with his humanity. He wasn't ashamed of it. I mean, he could joke about it. He could point to it. Report an error in the passage at 38:29
39:11 And it wasn't like disgraceful or looked down on, it was part of being human, recognizing the human condition as human rather than as some personal flaw. Where, from my background, everything becomes too personal, like sexual desire. Report an error in the passage at 39:11
39:34 It becomes a personal flaw rather than natural condition of having a human body. So everything becomes more than what it is. Report an error in the passage at 39:34
39:49 Getting angry is an emotion. My family said it was bad. You shouldn't get angry. You shouldn't show anger. So I learned to repress anger. And then feel guilty about it. So it became very complicated. I became neurotic with it, with the guilt about feeling this emotion. Report an error in the passage at 39:49
40:16 Where in training in Thailand, I began to see it more in the way of a Buddhist in which I could see this is quite a normal human emotion. It's just part of the equipment, part of the package that you get when you're born into this realm. It's not necessarily a personal thing, but it is what it is. And in that way, then one can receive it in terms of not judging it and taking it as some kind of personal flaw, but receiving it for what it is and learning from it. Report an error in the passage at 40:16
41:05 or not wanting to speculate because safe Report an error in the passage at 41:05
41:14 Expand on that sort of confidence of staying in awareness. You know, my view is something like the greater the confidence in the awareness, the kind of greater detachment developed from all parts of the truth. And then I'm sort of wondering what, you know, when you develop a great sense of this awareness and confidence in living in it. Report an error in the passage at 41:14
41:39 And emotions become less. Report an error in the passage at 41:39
41:49 Well, from my experience, is that with awareness, then it's very expansive. It's receptive and expansive. And as you trust it, so it's learning to recognize, realize it. Because it's a natural state. It's not a refined state of consciousness. So if you get into refining conscious experience, then you create conditions that help to experience refinement through consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 41:49
42:35 So you have the different jhānas and meditation objects which take you to... ...experience refined consciousness. But awareness isn't refined, but it's subtle. So it tends to be overlooked and not noticed. So that's like the awakening of the Buddha, the idea of awakening to this is the whole point of the Four Noble Truths teaching. Report an error in the passage at 42:35
43:10 Just using suffering as a focus, because suffering is ordinary, it's banal, it's common, it's not, you know, there's nothing special about it. We all have it, you know. But it's also something that we always, you know, the reaction is to try to get rid of it rather than understand it. So what the Buddha is doing is taking something quite ordinary and common and paying attention to it. Report an error in the passage at 43:10
43:40 you know so and investigating looking into it recognizing and and then you're like awareness you can't you can't objectify you can only be that and as you and and the more you try to analyze suffering who's at fault why do I suffer then you you know you go around in circles with that but as you begin to just begin to recognize it's like this you know this sense of just feeling ill at ease is like this And you begin to rest in this awareness. It has a kind of expansiveness. And it connects. Report an error in the passage at 43:40
44:20 It has a continuity as you begin to recognize it and appreciate it. Where any conditioned state is, you know, you can sustain it for so long and then it can't, you know, it's not sustainable. You know, it has a time span. But conscious awareness doesn't have that. It's the outside of time itself. Report an error in the passage at 44:20
44:47 And I've noticed over the years, this is one example of where you begin to be aware of your weaknesses, living in a community especially. especially of and nuns, you find yourself, you know, the communal life, it really exposes your weaknesses. I found that one of my weaknesses was I couldn't take criticism. Report an error in the passage at 44:47
45:29 And because I was the teacher and the abbot and the authority figure, I could protect myself. myself give off the, you know, people. I was in a position of just rejecting them and things like this, but I could still feel the hurt, being offended and things like this. So I began to challenge this in myself. Report an error in the passage at 45:29
46:06 myself, you know, this recognize this weakness. As I developed the confidence and the awareness, I began to see, as I admitted, as I saw this fear of rejection from others or being criticized, because I take criticism as rejection also. So if people criticize me, then I feel rejected. And so this was, I was aware of this. And the more I made that conscious, then Then when the conditions did arise where people were criticizing me or rejecting me, I found I had a space for it that I had actually, I could actually receive that and I could still feel offended and upset. Report an error in the passage at 46:06
46:57 But this space is bigger than the feeling of being offended, you know. And so I didn't kind of... Hold on to the sense of being offended and I begin to trust the awareness more because it wasn't a rejection or a refusal or it wasn't non-feeling but it put feeling and experience into a context that I could relate to it in a way that I could learn from it. Report an error in the passage at 46:57
47:41 Well, I mean, I could, in that space of awareness, then I could even feel my own reactions. Because, like, awareness includes everything. It's not focused on, so if somebody's abusing me and, you know, criticizing me, or maybe it's a fair criticism. Maybe it's, you know, maybe there's truth in it. Or maybe it's just totally, you know, their problem, their projection. Report an error in the passage at 47:41
48:13 But the receptivity then allows this, you know, whatever, to be received for what it is. And then more and more your response to that experience is appropriate. So like if I feel that their criticism is, you know, there's some truth in it, you know, it's something, you know, it's feedback and I can see what, and then I can learn from that and willing to take it on. Report an error in the passage at 48:13
48:44 Or if it's just somebody's just, you know, projecting their own problems. I'm aware of that too. And I can feel the indignation, you know, personally, a feeling, how dare you say that. But I don't follow that either, you know, because there's room for it, for being treated fairly or unfairly. I'm not demanding fairness anymore from others. Report an error in the passage at 48:44
49:15 So it gives you a confidence to flow with life. And then in that spaciousness of awareness, I'm receiving your criticism and my reaction. They're together. So it's not that I don't feel anything or just refuse or repress the feelings. There's still a reaction, but awareness of the reaction. Rather than just being caught and blinded by the reaction. And I found that gave me a lot of confidence in living with others. Report an error in the passage at 49:15
49:58 Because that's what I found probably the thing I really had to learn from this life was how to live with others. Because when I became a monk I wanted to be like a hermit. Because I found people just too much for me. Report an error in the passage at 49:58
50:16 It's too complicated. And so I long to get away from society, away from people, because I like being alone. When I'm alone, it's okay. But when I'm with others, then the problems would arise. And then the irony is that Buddhist monasticism threw me in the middle of a society. society, you know. Report an error in the passage at 50:16
50:49 I think Ajahn Chah saw that. Every movement I made towards hermetic practice, he'd pull me out, put me back into the thick of it in the communal life. I used to resent it. I used to feel quite angry with him because I thought, I did trust him, so I wouldn't kind of resist. Report an error in the passage at 50:49
51:15 I didn't particularly like sometimes what he was trying to do. But now, after all these years, I appreciate what he's done. Because if I just followed the hermetic tendencies, I wouldn't be able to cope with communal life very well. Report an error in the passage at 51:15
51:38 In Thailand or in Sri Lanka, you can set yourself up very much on your own terms as a hermit. it And then you, you know, which is very tantalizing for someone like myself. Because that was never possible, I've had to learn in the communal form. And then I realized that that's what I needed to learn. Yes? Report an error in the passage at 51:38
52:13 from the of awareness. Report an error in the passage at 52:13
52:18 me, it's a question like, is in drama and horror and psychology arise because sometimes they have this experience that they're not aware it starts to come up like this, this sympathetic story and it's on me and compassion and like it supports me Yeah, that's, because that, like, what the Brahmavihāra is, loving kindness, compassion, Report an error in the passage at 52:18
52:57 and equanimity. They come from that, from that purity of awareness. You can't make yourself do that, you know, on a personal level. When you're trying to practice mettā this is a kind of from an ego position it a bit Report an error in the passage at 52:57
53:18 goes flat, you know, it kind of Report an error in the passage at 53:18
53:28 But I find like compassion and like mettā is a sense of loving kindness. And then in using the English words loving kindness, oftentimes it sounds too kind of sentimental and sweet, too kind of sugary. But using the word mettā, because it's not an English word. And then contemplating what I really mean by loving kindness. What is love? What is kindness? Rather than seeing them in terms of just, you know, sweet words, what is, you know, because the English word love is used for anything, really. Report an error in the passage at 53:28
54:17 So what do I mean by love? And then it was romantic love and the kind of love, you know, you have in pop songs and And we say we love to eat fish and chips and we love this and that. Then we say that's liking. Liking and disliking. If you like something then you can dislike something. Report an error in the passage at 54:17
54:46 So liking is very dependent. When we talk about love we're not talking about liking. And then from the Christian background you have this This ideal of unconditioned love. Unconditioned love. What is that? Love your enemies? And then I kept contemplating, well, how can you love your enemies? Somebody wants to harm you. You can't like your enemies. Report an error in the passage at 54:46
55:19 It's impossible to like somebody that wants to kill you. But love is possible then in this sense of mettā. enemies, know. Report an error in the passage at 55:19
55:27 Because it isn't picking or choosing or liking or disliking or approving or disapproving. So mettā is, as the first of the Brahmavihāras, is learning to contact this sense of awareness, which receives everything equally, whether you like it or not, the good, the bad, the... It's beautiful, the ugly, the friends, the enemies. Awareness has room for them all. It's not selective. And so that's like mettā. Report an error in the passage at 55:27
56:06 It doesn't select and prefer. When you spread mettā, you don't spread 90 % to your best friends and only 10 % to people you don't like. Report an error in the passage at 56:06
56:22 It's equally, isn't it? It's not mettā if there's preference involved in it. So then making that clear, you know, this is mettā then. And then karuṇā, or compassion. As you see, as you, you know, recognize the causes of suffering in yourself, then you understand the problem of everyone. You know, and it's not just a Feeling sorry for somebody's suffering, but it's compassion, it's coming from understanding, it's empathetic, it's not just sympathetic. Report an error in the passage at 56:22
57:07 And you have compassion for the suffering of creatures because of your own understanding the suffering that you've studied and examined in yourself and the causes. And then... Muditā as a sympathetic joy is the result of that, delighting in the goodness and the beauty of the world around you and the goodness of others. Report an error in the passage at 57:07
57:38 But it's not personal, it's not coming from, you know, personally, one can feel very threatened by saintly people. As a person, somebody who's very saintly and good can... One may not feel sympathetic joy for, only feel threatened by them. But from the emptiness, from the awareness, then one naturally responds to goodness and beauty as joy. Report an error in the passage at 57:38
58:11 And then equanimity, upekkhā, as this balance, the sense of emotional balance with... the flow of life. this comes from this, the purity of awareness. is not, it's not a creation, it's not an attainment as a personal Yes? Report an error in the passage at 58:11
58:53 So how much meditation do we need? Report an error in the passage at 58:53
59:05 Well, it's like a lifetime, really. Report an error in the passage at 59:05
59:12 You know, the Buddha after, you know, and then, of course, we've got this, the Pāli canon and the history, but But even in the Pāli Canon you can see that, you know, after the Buddha's enlightenment he was still subjected to praise and blame and, you know, his life was threatened and, you know, not only good things but terrible things happened to him. Report an error in the passage at 59:12
59:46 And his response was always, you know, through awareness and through compassion. So, and that is, to me that's the story of, say, as we have insight, you know, through meditation, like formal meditation practices or special Report an error in the passage at 59:46
1:00:12 situations that we call meditation are helpful in the beginning, you know, to get that feeling, that confidence in awareness. But then in integrating that into the flow of one's life. Which doesn't mean you have to live on a meditation retreat the rest of your life. Like the Buddha, you go out and live your life for the welfare of others. And that brings, of course, all kinds of situations of praise and blame and good fortune and bad fortune. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:12
1:00:56 And so then the challenge is always to use those situations like the eight worldly dhammas. You know, you're constantly contemplating that the worldly life is not criticizing worldly life, but recognizing its limitation, what it does. So your relationship to it is understanding rather than trying to control the world around you. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:56
1:01:26 out of fear and ignorance. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:26
1:01:31 So, in the Buddha's teaching, it's a subtle, as I said before, it's a subtlety. Awareness is, even though it's ordinary, and it's not created, it's not contrived, we don't generally recognize or value it. Even though we use it, we may not even notice it. So the awakening that the Buddha is talking about is beginning to notice that which is so ordinary that we overlook it, we don't appreciate. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:31
1:02:16 So I mean like driving a car, you have to be aware, a certain level of awareness is necessary when you get in behind the wheel because there's a certain danger in driving, you know, you've got this Report an error in the passage at 1:02:16
1:02:32 then you can hurt yourself and somebody else very easily if you're heedless. So sometimes conditions come forth that force us to be aware. like, you know, like sports, Report an error in the passage at 1:02:32
1:03:01 You know, they climb up these sheer cliffs and they, you know, pull themselves up and move in a way on just, you know, very high escarpment and look so dangerous. And you ask them why they like it, it's somehow like danger makes you very aware, physical danger. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:01
1:03:27 know, the... These life-defying experiences, it gets you out of the meanness and smallness of the worries and of daily life and the pettiness of daily life into where your life-threatening situations, you kind of spontaneously are aware then. It just happens. Because that's the way we're made. The self-preservation is strong. It's an instinct. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:27
1:04:05 And then in daily life, we can sink into a morass of self-pity and worry and anxiety. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:05
1:04:27 So in the middle class world, Anxiety. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:27
1:04:37 We become very neurotic because we feel safe and we have comfort and then we don't have to spend our lives just trying to get enough food to feed the family Report an error in the passage at 1:04:37
1:04:56 and the sense of when our life is in immediate danger and we can sink into depression or despair. When somebody, even a depressed person, when their life is in danger, suddenly snaps out of it. But in modern Britain, it's easy. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:56
1:05:23 Society just carries you along. You don't have to do anything in it, really. You can get by here without putting any effort into living. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:23
1:05:36 And it'll carry you. Whereas, say, Other places, you know, like third world situations, you have to, you know, you can't afford to be depressed. You've got to go out and get something to eat. And where here we can't afford to be neurotic and depressed. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:36
1:05:58 But that's, I'm seeing that as a good opportunity because we aren't just, our lives aren't just survival, you know, based on just, you know, surviving. Day by day, but we do have a lot of luxuries and good government and safeties and guarantees and social services. And still, it's not the answer, is it? That even under the best conditions, under the best government, we still would be suffering a lot until we awaken. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:58
1:06:43 So, like as a Buddhist monk in the forest tradition, you know, this is what I learned in the first few years of monastic life in the forest, was how little I needed. And it was as the mental state, as I had developed the awareness, you know, I could live on hardly anything. In those days, the forest monastery of Ajahn Chah, it was very basic, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:43
1:07:10 ...very primitive place, you know, no luxuries whatsoever, not even electricity and you just, you know, you learned how to get water from the well and we had to make everything ourselves and go long distances on alms round in the morning and it's quite strenuous, you know, in terms of physical existence. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:10
1:07:36 existence but How just working with the mind, it didn't, that's all right, I could, that was, it was quite a simple life and I began to feel how simple life could be. I didn't need to spend my life just trying to have lots of money and have everything, you know, like I was brought up to be in the capitalist system where you have to, you know, you're taught that you've got to Make sure you're financially secure and your life is insured and your health is insured and everything is, you spend your life trying to create this illusion of security. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:36
1:08:19 Where in the forest monastery, you know, it's basically insecure and primitive. And yet, by working with the mind somehow, I found tremendous joy in being, in living rather than... You know, resentment and worry. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:19
1:08:43 So it was afraid to sleep on a mat or draw water from a well or just use a candle or whatever other electricity doesn't work. It's okay. You know, these things are all bearable and even make life more simple. They're trying to support high tech. People have neurotic breakdowns when their computers go off. Suffering that didn't exist at the time of the Buddha. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:43
1:09:20 Road rage. I Report an error in the passage at 1:09:20
1:09:29 think I'll let it stop there. Next Report an error in the passage at 1:09:29
1:09:39 Sunday, I invite you all to come again. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:39
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Talk by Ajahn Sumedho. Original at Amaravati Buddhist Monastery via Internet Archive: https://archive.org/details/ajahn-sumedho-dhamma-talks. Licensed CC BY-NC-ND 4.0. Transcript generated automatically and may contain errors; the audio is the authoritative version.
Talks of Ajahn Sumedho, archived on Internet Archive. More from Amaravati