The Centre of the Mandala (1999)

0:21 I want to welcome everybody, and Report an error in the passage at 0:21 Highlight the passage at 0:21

0:32 this is our opportunity to develop the reflective contemplative mind this Report an error in the passage at 0:32 Highlight the passage at 0:32

0:48 afternoon, to take in this subject the center of the mandala as a reference, as a kind of symbol, a symbolic diagram that they use usually of a circle. Report an error in the passage at 0:48 Highlight the passage at 0:48

1:35 of preparation when it water flows into it from underneath and it flows up it doesn't shoot up but it flows up and so it has this kind of of flowing but still they want to keep it like almost mirror like at the surface and flow Report an error in the passage at 1:35 Highlight the passage at 1:35

2:02 the bowl and it flows down the The outside of the bowl back into the fountain and hopefully we'll be able to recycle this water because it's rather expensive, a waste of water otherwise. But the idea is the center, the still point, the escape, the escape hatch from the saṃsāra or the worldly state. Report an error in the passage at 2:02 Highlight the passage at 2:02

2:36 So like the square and the circle represent, circles represent usually the universe and then the square is the earth in symbology. So they're the four directions, north, south, east and west and then they're encompassed by the universe. But in the center is the still point. But it's not like a... dead still point and not like nothing's happening there it has this kind of this of oxymoronic Report an error in the passage at 2:36 Highlight the passage at 2:36

3:21 of This was a theme that Ajahn Chah liked very much for Nature of the Mind, one of his books that people really love. In Thai it's called Nam Lai Ning, which translates into English as still water flowing. So using a sense of stillness and yet movement. Report an error in the passage at 3:21 Highlight the passage at 3:21

3:52 Or I use the, sometimes use the sound of silence. This is sound and silence usually means the absence of sound and yet you're using silence as a sound. Report an error in the passage at 3:52 Highlight the passage at 3:52

4:11 So of course when you want to logically try to understand these things, you can twist your mind into knots, trying to understand the religious symbolism as if it were to be kind of rationally explained, because these are more intuitive uses of the mind, meaning that they're not meant to be kind of... Report an error in the passage at 4:11 Highlight the passage at 4:11

4:39 Based on a linear progression and based on rational thought, but on emotional experience, on intuition, and then the center of the mandala always represents the point of where, say, in our own experience, that we learn to recognize, realize, then that is the Liberation from the saṃsāra or the square, the world with all its different qualities and quantities and the kind of greatness of the universe that we can witness, say, from where we are. Report an error in the passage at 4:39 Highlight the passage at 4:39

5:25 When we look out at the universe, we oftentimes feel awe-stricken, like the solar eclipse this week. Just looking at something like that, the moon and the sun, the moon passing in front of the sun and this kind of magical occurrence that I'm witnessing from here in this monastery through these eyes in this kind of insignificant form and there I'm witnessing a kind of Miracle or a mystery or an experience that goes way beyond my ability to really understand things very well. Report an error in the passage at 5:25 Highlight the passage at 5:25

6:20 When we look out at the universe that surrounds us, it goes on infinitely, so it's full of mystery. And that mystery can also be rather frightening, because anything mysterious means that it's not like having... Something, you know, solid right in front of you that you can know as this is a stable condition that you're familiar with. Because mystery always implies the unknown. Report an error in the passage at 6:20 Highlight the passage at 6:20

6:51 And that sense of unknowing can be very disturbing to human mind that wants to know, that feels secure through knowing. Tell me all the answers, you know. Define everything. Qualify everything. Explain everything out. Make everything reasonable. I noticed like, in my own experience as a Western male, I love what is reasonable. Report an error in the passage at 6:51 Highlight the passage at 6:51

7:32 And I always felt very threatened by emotions. Emotional things. People get emotional. You know, they're no longer reasonable. They feel very uncertain. You don't know what to do. Report an error in the passage at 7:32 Highlight the passage at 7:32

7:51 And so you kind of, in the typical male style of my generation, we just, anything gets emotional, we usually find a quick exit from it. Not through the center point of the mandala. Report an error in the passage at 7:51 Highlight the passage at 7:51

8:13 Or spiritual reality, like just wanting to define God. This is, people are always trying to understand the nature of God through definition, through attributes of some sort. So, you know, the endless kind of quarrels, and is God transcendent or imminent or male or neuter, androgynous, female? Report an error in the passage at 8:13 Highlight the passage at 8:13

8:51 Is there just one god or two gods and on like this so we end up trying to rationalize this and of course usually with that if we depend on just rational thought we end up usually thinking there isn't any because we can't really define, we can't really make any real definition. Report an error in the passage at 8:51 Highlight the passage at 8:51

9:21 Copyright © 2020 Mooji Media Ltd. All Rights Reserved. No part of this recording may be reproduced without Mooji Media Ltd.'s Report an error in the passage at 9:21 Highlight the passage at 9:21

9:39 express consent. in the way that we walk. Report an error in the passage at 9:39 Highlight the passage at 9:39

9:55 of the material conditions, and we've done some quite miraculous, created wonderful inventions that are amazing to all of us in many ways. It's like computers, I'm still continually amazed by what people do with these computers. people keep giving me little little kind kind of of high-tech instruments to use. Report an error in the passage at 9:55 Highlight the passage at 9:55

10:27 I have a mobile phone, I have various other things that people give me and I never use them. Report an error in the passage at 10:27 Highlight the passage at 10:27

10:41 They're too miraculous for me. Report an error in the passage at 10:41 Highlight the passage at 10:41

10:50 Then people have offered to give me computers. Computers are the things. Report an error in the passage at 10:50 Highlight the passage at 10:50

11:03 Because I'm not really interested in that world. It doesn't hold much interest to me because through the meditative life, contemplative life, the interest has been developed in a different way. Report an error in the passage at 11:03 Highlight the passage at 11:03

11:22 Moving away from the conditioned experiences and the endless variations, permutations on conditioned phenomena. Because it does. It goes on endlessly into refinements and subtleties and movements of different things and combinations. Imagine now this ability to clone and create life through a cell of some sheep and get a whole sheep out of one cell. Report an error in the passage at 11:22 Highlight the passage at 11:22

11:57 The mind boggles. you know. And of course then we can proliferate on that, you know, absolutely horrifying scenarios of creating kind of whole armies of kind of cloned beings that you can manipulate and enslave and use and exploit. Just like we oftentimes do with the animal world, isn't it? We oftentimes use animal life just for our own kind of curiosities. Report an error in the passage at 11:57 Highlight the passage at 11:57

12:33 And wanting to experiment, manipulate with the conditioned world, a lot of it is justified in many ways and is quite helpful in many ways as well as harmful. But our love, our fascination for the known and for our curiosity about the universe we live in, Report an error in the passage at 12:33 Highlight the passage at 12:33

13:00 It can go on endlessly because it's so mysterious and vast. We even hope to be able to go to planets like Mars. You know, they're thinking, you know, the attempt to leave this Earth, this planet, in order to go into outer space because we're obviously going to ruin this one. This is what people are saying. The process of... Report an error in the passage at 13:00 Highlight the passage at 13:00

13:27 This is quite a beautiful planet when you compare it to the rest. Who would want to live on what I can see of Mars? It's not particularly a place that you'd care to retire to. Report an error in the passage at 13:27 Highlight the passage at 13:27

13:48 Even the worst places on this planet seem a lot better than that. And then the... And not to mention like Saturn, which is all gas. That would be really hard, wouldn't it, to just live in a realm of gas with one of these bodies. But this planet here is, you know, it's a beautiful place. And it's our home in terms of our human home. Report an error in the passage at 13:48 Highlight the passage at 13:48

14:21 It's where, say, these bodies feel at ease, isn't it? These bodies are earth bodies. They're born on this planet and they're attuned and harmonious and appropriate to this planet. And yet our mind can completely discredit that and be fascinated with other planets, thinking that they're more interesting. Report an error in the passage at 14:21 Highlight the passage at 14:21

14:47 They're far away. This one, we've been getting to, we feel we really know it already. We've explored every bit of it. There's not many places left, or are there any places left on this planet that we haven't, somebody hasn't seen and written a book about. Report an error in the passage at 14:47 Highlight the passage at 14:47

15:12 I hear now people are... going on hollandaise to antarctica or the in thing to be doing because not many people have done that we're going to europe asia africa that is quite ordinary or Report an error in the passage at 15:12 Highlight the passage at 15:12

15:34 as we move into a spiritual realm then we're withdrawing that curiosity of just manipulate endlessly manipulating the the four elements the Fascination with the variations on the conditioned realm into the still point or the center of the mandala. Report an error in the passage at 15:34 Highlight the passage at 15:34

15:59 And that, of course, takes a different ability because it's not a thing that you find, that you see. Like you can see the solar eclipse, you can see the moon or the sun. Report an error in the passage at 15:59 Highlight the passage at 15:59

16:17 So you can see the planet, but something you can know through, say, what we call practice of meditation, where you're withdrawing your attention from the endless fascinations external to using your intuitive awareness, the attentive state of mind, where you open your mind, To the present, you're not looking for anything, you're not trying to find something, you're not trying to find a still point that you can grasp and say, I've got it, but you're letting go of that desire to find or get or become to the reality or realization of stillness that we begin to recognize through attention, paying attention to Report an error in the passage at 16:17 Highlight the passage at 16:17

17:20 The way things are in this present moment. So it's always important to recognize that each one of us is the center of the mandala. Report an error in the passage at 17:20 Highlight the passage at 17:20

17:34 So each one of us is... I always like to throw out the interesting perception of each one of us is the center of the universe. Report an error in the passage at 17:34 Highlight the passage at 17:34

17:51 Practically speaking, that's so, isn't it? This isn't an ego trip. We're not trying to claim power and importance through this reflection. But in terms of your own experience of life, each one of us has to experience life from here. I mean, I can't experience life from there at this moment. And when I'm not here... Report an error in the passage at 17:51 Highlight the passage at 17:51

18:22 And I go over there, then I'm still here. Report an error in the passage at 18:22 Highlight the passage at 18:22

18:27 So it is always here. Wherever this body chooses to move, it's here. And the time is now. So whatever time it is, it's still, in terms of experience, now, here and now. And then the experience of life, through consciousness that we all have, is... That things impinge on us. So we feel temperature, we feel the changes of heat and cold through the body, or experience pleasure and pain. Report an error in the passage at 18:27 Highlight the passage at 18:27

19:09 We experience the objects of sight, whatever passes in front of our eyes, whatever comes through consciousness through the eyes, whether it's beautiful or ugly or neither. Report an error in the passage at 19:09 Highlight the passage at 19:09

19:24 These things are, they come to us, they impinge on this, on this entity, this conscious entity. And that's the way it is in terms of where we move this body, whether it's sitting here at Amaravati or you go to Antarctica or to Mars, it's still the same thing. Maybe the quality, the impingements, things that are impinging. Report an error in the passage at 19:24 Highlight the passage at 19:24

19:52 That you're experiencing are different in quality than in quantity. But in terms of intuitive awareness, we see we're not looking, we're no longer fascinated with the quality and the quantity of conditions, but with the fact that the conditions, their nature is to arise and cease and change, come and go. Report an error in the passage at 19:52 Highlight the passage at 19:52

20:20 And this, the Buddha, of course, was very... Helpful in the way he taught because he was pointing to developing the wisdom faculty of discernment where we begin to, we're no longer trying to define and categorize all the condition phenomena and theorize with abstract ideas and language about say heavenly realms or the Or heaven or hell or nirvāṇa or whatever. What happens after death? We can, we have a whole, in Buddhism we use a cosmology where we have all these different realms of existence. Report an error in the passage at 20:20 Highlight the passage at 20:20

21:10 The deva realms, the asura realms and the different, the lower realms, the apaya poem realms where you have the Report an error in the passage at 21:10 Highlight the passage at 21:10

21:28 And then there's the human realm. you have, in terms of the cosmology, we're in the human realm, human, Report an error in the passage at 21:28 Highlight the passage at 21:28

21:43 so the human realm is a realm where we We're in touch with the kind of range, the gamut of all the other realms. We can experience the refinements of beauty, the aesthetic beauty is like a deva realm, where we seek out what is refined, what is subtle, what is beautiful. Report an error in the passage at 21:43 Highlight the passage at 21:43

22:13 Sight or sound or smell or taste, touch or intellect, we can develop our reasoning faculties, intellectual abilities to dwell in a world of refinements, of subtle thoughts and images. And as we move into those realms, then we... We can see the potential for, say, rebirth in what we call the deva realms, the different levels of deva realms. Report an error in the passage at 22:13 Highlight the passage at 22:13

22:48 They get increasingly more refined. And then the lower realms, where the asura realm is like a jealous deva realm, where power, ambition are the motivating forces, jealousy. Report an error in the passage at 22:48 Highlight the passage at 22:48

23:09 We seem to be, like modern humanity seems to be struggling a lot in this realm of asura, which is kind of to have power, be strong and powerful and dominate, and feel jealous of anyone who's more powerful than you are. Report an error in the passage at 23:09 Highlight the passage at 23:09

23:31 So we have like Cold War, a kind of competitions and... And this feeling that we have to make ourselves more powerful than the rest. This is like an asura mentality, according to Buddhism. It's not a human, we wouldn't call it a human quality. We call that an ambitious, jealous god mentality. Report an error in the passage at 23:31 Highlight the passage at 23:31

23:59 Then in the devas, they're usually, they're above that kind of thing. They're enjoying the beauty of everything. They love to sing and play music and they're all beautiful and everything is just kind of wonderfully pleasant. And then the jealous gods get really angry with that. They see the devas enjoying their lives with all their beauty. Report an error in the passage at 23:59 Highlight the passage at 23:59

24:36 And their refinements and they try to take it away from them. So there's the war, endless wars going on between the devas and the asuras. Well, this is cosmology. This is a way of explaining the human mind or our own experience, isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 24:36 Highlight the passage at 24:36

24:57 We can also experience life in terms of like just animal and bestial kind of things. Or just like animal mentality, just where, say, the animal world is usually a realm of fear, and it's self-preservation. When you look at the animal kingdom around you, animals have to live constantly in a state of fear, because they don't know what's going to, you know, eat them the next moment, take their lives. Report an error in the passage at 24:57 Highlight the passage at 24:57

25:34 The animal realm is survival of the fittest. I know I've just moved into this nice cootie bar, this pond, all these fish, beautiful goldfish. Report an error in the passage at 25:34 Highlight the passage at 25:34

25:47 And now they're quite friendly as I feed them every day. And so when I come, they all come to the surface, opening their mouth and kind of blowing bubbles at me, asking for little stinky fish pellets. Report an error in the passage at 25:47 Highlight the passage at 25:47

26:04 the Which they love. But then, you know, there's also a heron that loves them even more. Report an error in the passage at 26:04 Highlight the passage at 26:04

26:17 And then when that heron comes in, they all dive down to the bottom. And those that don't, that's a matter of natural selection, isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 26:17 Highlight the passage at 26:17

26:29 So this is the realm of nature, isn't it? Of just survival. There's intelligence. Animals are intelligent creatures. Report an error in the passage at 26:29 Highlight the passage at 26:29

26:42 Emotionally we can relate to animals very well, especially domestically, like dogs and cats. Horses have emotions where we can relate to a sadness of a dog. They have, they can Report an error in the passage at 26:42 Highlight the passage at 26:42

26:59 the kind of ...kind of affection that cats can offer and so forth. So they respond to love and they also... You can hurt their feelings. You can make them depressed through treating them badly. Or just by ignoring them. They just become kind of left on their own devices. They oftentimes become quite brutal and quite... Report an error in the passage at 26:59 Highlight the passage at 26:59

27:32 given affection or treated with respect. Report an error in the passage at 27:32 Highlight the passage at 27:32

27:40 then the hungry ghost realm is also one that we can see with the problems we have around addictions of this time. hearing the news about Australia with this terrible problem around drug addiction, where they say two people die in, two people die, A day, die from drug-related causes. In Australia, those are usually young people, they're not like old people. Report an error in the passage at 27:40 Highlight the passage at 27:40

28:14 Because those kind of substances turn us into what we call hungry ghost mentality. Hungry ghost is like a creature that is never satisfied and always wants something, wants the next hit. And it's always trying to get more, but even when it gets it, it just can't be satisfied. It has to look for more. So I have this funny image in Thailand, hungry ghost, this hideous creature, stomach as big as Mount Everest, a neck, very long, thin neck, and then a tiny little mouth, like as big as the eye of a needle, eye of a small needle, small eye of a small needle. Report an error in the passage at 28:14 Highlight the passage at 28:14

29:04 And so the problem is how to get enough food down this throat through this tiny opening to fill this enormous belly. That's the image of a hungry goose. That's what drug addicts remind me of. Report an error in the passage at 29:04 Highlight the passage at 29:04

29:24 It's just, you know, you can never get enough. You get maybe momentarily gratified. It's about the best you can manage. But then you have to look for more. And it's on a gross level. It's not refined. So it's on a lower realm of just like obsessions with sexuality or drugs or alcohol. All these tend to bring us into this realm of the hungry ghost. And then below that is the hellish realm of just... Report an error in the passage at 29:24 Highlight the passage at 29:24

30:04 Anger, beings living just on fire, just full of rage, anger, resentment. So I can relate to all of those realms, actually. In terms of my experience, I've been a hungry ghost, I've been an animal, a hell spirit, I've been a daimondar, and an ashura, and human even. Report an error in the passage at 30:04 Highlight the passage at 30:04

30:35 And this is just kind of watching through this center of the mandala, being aware of the mental states that I've experienced over my life. Report an error in the passage at 30:35 Highlight the passage at 30:35

30:52 So this is, these six realms of existence are quite interesting when you begin to, when you think of yourself, we kind of think of ourselves as just a human being because we're, That's the category that we're identified with. We're human beings. And then the thing with Buddhism was it brought into my consciousness that maybe that's just a kind of convention, easy conventional explanation, but that's not really what's happening all the time. Report an error in the passage at 30:52 Highlight the passage at 30:52

31:27 So what is it that's human? What is it that makes us human in terms of Buddhist cosmology? And so then it's the human beings, we have the ability to understand all six realms. We have the ability to choose about behavior. We can, like the five precepts, we can choose to take the five precepts. We can have agreements on how we're going to live with each other. I mean, even though we might have many animal, animal tendencies, like survival of the fittest and get rid of those you don't like and kill the enemy and steal the things that somebody else has. Report an error in the passage at 31:27 Highlight the passage at 31:27

32:16 We have so many in prisons these days. But we also can agree, and this is one of the wonderful gifts that we have as humans, is moral agreements. We can decide not to kill each other, not to steal, to have some sense of responsibility around sexuality, not to just exploit, take advantage of our own body or somebody else's, just through pleasure seeking or for excitement. Report an error in the passage at 32:16 Highlight the passage at 32:16

32:58 So we can decide, we all have that potential. of just seeking pleasure, just for selfish pleasure and excitement, we can also decide to not use our bodies in that way. We will be responsible for the sexual energies that we experience through the body. Report an error in the passage at 32:58 Highlight the passage at 32:58

33:24 Then in terms of speech and in terms of what we do, In how we act in this society, we can agree to certain restraints in the fact that we are learning how to respect each other, how to live with each other, how to help each other, encourage each other. So this is very much the great gift of humanity in terms of Buddhist cosmology. Report an error in the passage at 33:24 Highlight the passage at 33:24

33:58 And then we can also develop a sense of loving kindness for all the other realms. So when we spread mettā, it includes everything, not just the human realm, but it includes the hell and the heaven and the hungry ghosts and the animal realms and everything. Because the human mind can embrace all six realms. Report an error in the passage at 33:58 Highlight the passage at 33:58

34:25 So our relationship then to the six realms is one of mettā, rather than of, say, looking down on the lower realms, thinking we're much better than those hungry ghosts, and developing a kind of snobbish attitude that we're quite capable of doing, feeling we're better than somebody else, or we can feel... Report an error in the passage at 34:25 Highlight the passage at 34:25

34:52 Disempowered by the powers of the establishment, we can resent, can't we? We can resent those who have power over us, the authority figures. Or we can feel very jealous of the very gifted people, the really beautiful people who are wealthy and have privileges and enjoy the... The more refined pleasures that may not be available to us, we can feel very angry and jealous towards them. So this age and this past century is very much one of these kind of titanic god mentality, like communism was very much based on this idea of Taking away all the wealth and kind of making everybody the same by taking the wealth away from the rich and the privileged people and hopefully, ideally to divide it, which sounded very good. Report an error in the passage at 34:52 Highlight the passage at 34:52

36:05 But in the process, you end up killing your aristocracies and your privileged classes. And like in Cambodia, they actually murdered almost the whole middle class. and educated classes of Cambodia, the Khmer Rouge, in the name of trying to make the society equal. So this is jealousy of those who are, say, above us or better than we are, or we can reflect on that in this human realm. Report an error in the passage at 36:05 Highlight the passage at 36:05

36:43 So like the Buddhist monk or the bhikkhu is an interesting symbol for that. And this was a symbol created in India 2000, I mean it's before Buddha actually, the sannyasin or the samana goes back before the Lord Buddha. But the idea of the human being, male or female, who takes on the responsibility, the whole aim is to Dedicate one's attention towards the stillness, the center of the mandala, and not be caught up in the endless fascinations with the circumference, with the things out there in the squares and the circles and the endless fascinating changing conditions that impinge on us in many ways. Report an error in the passage at 36:43 Highlight the passage at 36:43

37:42 So our relationship to them is not of rejection. Ideally, like a samana isn't one who hates that world. We don't become samanas because we hate it, but because we see the importance of finding, of realizing that still point again, to move to the center of the mandala, to learn how to rest in that center. Report an error in the passage at 37:42 Highlight the passage at 37:42

38:17 To trust in the stillness of the center, which is the escape hatch, the door to the deathless. Report an error in the passage at 38:17 Highlight the passage at 38:17

38:30 Within the limitations of our human state, physical and intellectual state, the only way we can ever realize that is not through refining anything, but through understanding. Report an error in the passage at 38:30 Highlight the passage at 38:30

38:49 And so the mind then opens wide. It's like another paradox, isn't it? This still point is like a point, it's like a tiny little thing, isn't it? And yet, paradoxically, it encompasses everything. This is like another paradox, where the still point seems almost... You know, you hardly would notice it in ordinary life. But once you realize it, then it includes everything. It's all embracing. Report an error in the passage at 38:49 Highlight the passage at 38:49

39:27 So this is an intuitive realization, not a rational one. Report an error in the passage at 39:27 Highlight the passage at 39:27

39:36 So in terms of sometimes where we are criticized, I've been criticized many times for saying, why are you living this life? As an obs mendicant, you're leaving the world behind, you're not facing up to the real world. Because that's how it looks. To say the modern educated person, that's how maybe a Buddhist monk looks. Like we're just the symbolism of a Buddha image, you know, sitting there under a tree like that. Report an error in the passage at 39:36 Highlight the passage at 39:36

40:13 And he's not out there helping the poor. Not out there protesting against the injustices and the pollution of the environment. He's just sitting there and not doing anything. And so that, to an activist, looks like you're not taking responsibility and trying to set the world right. You're kind of withdrawing from it, kind of copying out from it. Report an error in the passage at 40:13 Highlight the passage at 40:13

40:42 going into a realm where you're just, you know, you're happy, you're peaceful in your own way, but you're not doing anything for anyone else, you don't care about the rest. Report an error in the passage at 40:42 Highlight the passage at 40:42

40:58 that's how it might look in many ways. Mahāyāna Buddhism came forward with its more kind of visionary style of the compassionate Bodhisattva, which is an interesting thing. Report an error in the passage at 40:58 Highlight the passage at 40:58

41:13 Development, isn't it? Where the Bodhisattva says, I will not take final Nibbāna until the last blade of grass is liberated. Report an error in the passage at 41:13 Highlight the passage at 41:13

41:23 And that's altruism at its most. That's the highest form of altruism as far as I can tell. The last blade of grass is liberated. Report an error in the passage at 41:23 Highlight the passage at 41:23

41:35 And of course in Britain we've got a lot of grass here. We keep planting more of it here. Rather than waiting, you know, Maybe we should not plant anymore and wait for it to... How do you liberate grass anyway? I've never quite figured that out. But that isn't a rational image at all, is it? It's not meant to be taken literally. But in terms of its altruism, isn't it? It's like putting everything before yourself. Report an error in the passage at 41:35 Highlight the passage at 41:35

42:07 We're here not to just... So I can have a nice peaceful life for myself. And I can, you know, I'm here and don't bother me too much. I'm willing to do a few things to help you people and that. But my main interest is me and my state of mind and my practice. Because in practicing meditation you can become very, very selfish. Report an error in the passage at 42:07 Highlight the passage at 42:07

42:35 I've been through this. That's how I remember I was very much into, you know, very concentrated meditation. Forms of meditation where I had to, to get these states, I had to lock the doors and shut the world out because anything, any noise or any demand would just completely destroy my concentration. Report an error in the passage at 42:35 Highlight the passage at 42:35

43:00 So then I would get very angry. I'd find myself very angry with people. Not that they ever done anything, but maybe they walked... Too heavily. Report an error in the passage at 43:00 Highlight the passage at 43:00

43:17 Well, I've heard some monks even, you know, get angry with the birds for singing. Report an error in the passage at 43:17 Highlight the passage at 43:17

43:25 So Report an error in the passage at 43:25 Highlight the passage at 43:25

43:31 this is, because you do, you can get into very tranquil states that are very refined. But then grasping that as an attainment tends to lead to the problems that devas have. Devas have problems because they They want to live in these states. They live in these very high-level states for long periods of time. Report an error in the passage at 43:31 Highlight the passage at 43:31

43:59 Aeons, they call them. Some live for 84,000 aeons. I used to think 84,000 aeons of tranquility, of that bliss. You know, I think I might settle for that. Report an error in the passage at 43:59 Highlight the passage at 43:59

44:21 Nirvāṇa sounds pretty, you know, dodgy, and maybe I'll settle for, you know, I know it's impermanent, deva, birth are impermanent, but it's 84,000 eons, where, you know, that seems like an awfully long time to me. Report an error in the passage at 44:21 Highlight the passage at 44:21

44:43 But then it dawned on me also that if it was 84,000 eons of just bliss, Report an error in the passage at 44:43 Highlight the passage at 44:43

44:51 when in a state of bliss, Time goes by very fast. So maybe 84,000 years isn't so long after all. Report an error in the passage at 44:51 Highlight the passage at 44:51

45:04 I mean, happiness we have is, you know, is in relationship to our suffering, isn't it? When you're really happy, time goes by, it just races by. Report an error in the passage at 45:04 Highlight the passage at 45:04

45:17 And when you're unhappy, it seems to, you think you're there forever, in hell forever. Depression is like, Despair forever. Ever and ever. You can't possibly imagine a time. As soon as you imagine not being depressed, you're not depressed. Report an error in the passage at 45:17 Highlight the passage at 45:17

45:36 So, I mean, it's that sense of being in the hell realm as a sense of forever, like 84,000 eons of hell. 84,000 eons of happiness might be like the snap of a finger. This is just for reflection. I mean, I don't... And we have to judge time by our own human limitation. But just contemplating how things are, you know, in terms of direct experience. Report an error in the passage at 45:36 Highlight the passage at 45:36

46:10 So the human state that we're in is, say, its goodness lies in the fact that we do have a body like this. That it is a kind of animal's body. And then we feel, remember the idea of Darwin, you know, we're kind of evolved from monkeys or things, and how people used to get so upset by that. Because we always felt we were, you know, Western people, Jewish, Christian people, we're brought up to think we're special creation. Report an error in the passage at 46:10 Highlight the passage at 46:10

46:48 The idea that we're kind of, you know, kind of higher kind of monkey. It's not an image that we favored because we look down on monkeys and we like to think of ourselves as much higher than that. And so we see ourselves in terms of a special creation. Report an error in the passage at 46:48 Highlight the passage at 46:48

47:17 But in terms of the human form, it's not that much different from monkeys. There are animals, mammals, mammalian creatures, dogs, even cats. I mean, we can relate to all the functions that these animals have, because we have the same thing. Reproduction system, excretory system, eating, all this we share in common. We're not that much, you know, it's the same problems we share on that level. Report an error in the passage at 47:17 Highlight the passage at 47:17

47:51 So, in this way, we do have this animal body. And sometimes we would love to have a deva's body, because it doesn't have indigestion, I imagine, problems like constipation or diarrhea or anything like this. You don't have that in a deva realm. Even having toilets there, you wouldn't need them. So these kind of problems would be erased and these are things we would like to, it would be nice if we didn't have these kind of things to deal with. Report an error in the passage at 47:51 Highlight the passage at 47:51

48:32 And yet in terms of our humanity and our spiritual development, these things are very important because it's through the coarseness of our human form that we're humbled, isn't it? We have to deal with We can't just live in a realm that is just ethereal and refined. We always have to come back to the needs of a human body. Report an error in the passage at 48:32 Highlight the passage at 48:32

49:01 And that is very important to recognize as a gift in terms of spiritual development because it brings us back to the realities of the present where there's a part of us that doesn't really would like to go off into a realm that is refined and stay there because we may not like the The coarseness of our own bodies. Report an error in the passage at 49:01 Highlight the passage at 49:01

49:29 We also can be brutal and demonic. We see now that a lot of the news we get through mass media is about demonic behavior that so-called human beings are performing. So like genocides, mass murders, raping. Report an error in the passage at 49:29 Highlight the passage at 49:29

49:55 Brutality, atrocities, all this is like demonic, isn't it? It's a kind of energy where you lose any kind of refinement or humanity or moral integrity to just the excitement of kind of demonic energies, which are exciting, isn't it? Demonism excites us. We find people being fascinated with demons, with fighting, with brutality, with atrocity, with torture, rape. Report an error in the passage at 49:55 Highlight the passage at 49:55

50:33 All these kind of subjects are very exciting to our consciousness. They excite. Violence is exciting. So that this excites the mind, and we can really, when we're excited, we lose. When we absorb into this excitement, we lose. Our integrity, our moral position, our goodness, because we can be completely overwhelmed with these exciting energies. Report an error in the passage at 50:33 Highlight the passage at 50:33

51:04 And this you hear about rather like people who have been in wars and conflicts. And even though in a normal time they wouldn't do any of those acts, because they're quite basically moral and people that want to And then they're kind of conscripted or taken into these situations where this kind of behavior is encouraged. Report an error in the passage at 51:04 Highlight the passage at 51:04

51:35 And that kind of energy, they're put into situations where that energy is strong. And if you don't have a center to your own being, then you're pulled into it and you end up committing acts that you wouldn't ordinarily do. We would be appalled by, because it is an exciting energy. Report an error in the passage at 51:35 Highlight the passage at 51:35

52:00 We can also develop refinements, and that takes effort, doesn't it, to refine ourselves, make more kind of subtle, more, to move up, to kind of educate ourselves, to make ourselves more, have finer tastes, and... Report an error in the passage at 52:00 Highlight the passage at 52:00

52:21 Better attitudes, that takes education and a strong determination too. Refine our thinking and our way of relating, good manners and the music we listen to or the aesthetic values that we move toward. So we have this, in the human realm, we have this mandala surrounding us. Report an error in the passage at 52:21 Highlight the passage at 52:21

52:52 The human, the deva, the asura, the animal, the hungry ghost, the hell, demons. But then the escape isn't through rebirth into any of these realms, but through beginning to realize the center, the still point that encompasses everything. And so this is what meditation is about, really. When I talk about meditation, this is what... Report an error in the passage at 52:52 Highlight the passage at 52:52

53:25 This is what I mean. Meditation can include almost anything you're doing with your mind, actually. But in terms of, say, Samatha Vipassanā meditation in Buddhism, this is a training or a way of developing so that we're learning to be fully awake in the here and now, in a state of attentive awareness. Report an error in the passage at 53:25 Highlight the passage at 53:25

53:55 We're not trying to move out into the, around in the mandala anymore, but move, not in that horizontal way, but move more vertically into the center, into the still point where the mandala is embraced rather than we're kind of lost in its circular movement. Report an error in the passage at 53:55 Highlight the passage at 53:55

54:25 So that's the challenge for each one of us. In our daily lives, it's like how to do that, how to realize that is where I feel like why people come here on Sunday afternoon, why Buddhist monasteries suddenly appears in the Chiltern Hills like this one. Report an error in the passage at 54:25 Highlight the passage at 54:25

54:54 The power of the Buddha Dhamma itself, isn't it? It's an ancient teaching. It's not like New Age discovery. But it is an ancient teaching because it's based on universal reality rather than on just cultural conditioning. It's not a... Even though it has cultural aspects, the Dhamma teaching of the Lord Buddha, the actual teaching is not cultural. Report an error in the passage at 54:54 Highlight the passage at 54:54

55:23 Not about culture, it's about realization of truth as a human being. Report an error in the passage at 55:23 Highlight the passage at 55:23

55:36 I feel that this time also people are more recognizing the need for this as we are destroying ourselves and our planet, isn't it? We do feel that something has to change, that not just cleaning up the messes is going to really solve the problem. problem passing laws against reactors or of forcing people to trying to educate them in different ways. Report an error in the passage at 55:36 Highlight the passage at 55:36

56:29 Abilities that we all have, but oftentimes we don't even know about how many people value them or even recognize them as something that we should cultivate. Report an error in the passage at 56:29 Highlight the passage at 56:29

56:46 So it is encouraging in many ways that at this time, and it seems to be an awakening that's going on all over the planet. It's not just here. In Europe, I mean it's everywhere, you feel it in Asia, America, Australia, wherever I go, there's so much interest in meditation. And some of it is based just on trying to make yourself calm and not feel so stressed out. And that is the beginning, that might be the kind of thing that draws us toward meditation. Report an error in the passage at 56:46 Highlight the passage at 56:46

57:24 But then as we... move toward that, then we begin to understand ourselves in a much more profound way. I remember Report an error in the passage at 57:24 Highlight the passage at 57:24

57:38 before I ever meditated, I started practicing hatha yoga. just through that I became aware that it was mainly just physical postures that we were being taught. But through that he also became very much aware of how the mind was affecting the body. And then the mind became the real important thing rather than in the physical culture, physical agility. Report an error in the passage at 57:38 Highlight the passage at 57:38

58:11 So Report an error in the passage at 58:11 Highlight the passage at 58:11

58:16 now I will end this formal reflection. And there's tea on the survey. And then after... Those of you who wish to can ask me some questions. We can discuss. We can have a dialogue or debate or whatever. Report an error in the passage at 58:16 Highlight the passage at 58:16

58:42 So Report an error in the passage at 58:42 Highlight the passage at 58:42

· · · silence, 1 minute

59:24 now we can, if any of you have any questions. Report an error in the passage at 59:24 Highlight the passage at 59:24

59:56 See, test me out. Report an error in the passage at 59:56 Highlight the passage at 59:56

1:00:03 We'll see if I can take it. Jimmy. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:03 Highlight the passage at 1:00:03

1:00:35 uh i think some kind of delta that with my own thought in next we might be reading something. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:35 Highlight the passage at 1:00:35

1:00:56 Ajahn Sumedho. force be with you, may the force be Report an error in the passage at 1:00:56 Highlight the passage at 1:00:56

1:01:18 I'm not you now, sir. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:18 Highlight the passage at 1:01:18

1:01:32 ...homelessly and foolishly respected by the lay people. to mention about the monks sitting in instance, an ex-monk joined the army, the Burmese enforcers Report an error in the passage at 1:01:32 Highlight the passage at 1:01:32

1:01:50 is immediately given a rank of sergeant, because he has been... My question to you is that here is not Burma or China Your community is relatively small. Therefore, don't you think it is about time you do something about this occurrence, like reducing private encounter between young monks and junior monks and women and, of course, men? Report an error in the passage at 1:01:50 Highlight the passage at 1:01:50

1:02:29 Or are you going to tell me I don't give damn care because I... I have no shortage of new fresh recruits. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:29 Highlight the passage at 1:02:29

1:02:49 I don't know if I can take that. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:49 Highlight the passage at 1:02:49

1:02:58 So Report an error in the passage at 1:02:58 Highlight the passage at 1:02:58

1:03:06 it's like in a Buddhist country you've got a society that That respects monastics and that. And so living here, being a Buddhist monk, you're kind of thrown out on the edges of the society. We are a kind of strange, freaky fringe in terms of our social status. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:06 Highlight the passage at 1:03:06

1:03:44 And some people... You know, to me, I don't mind that. That doesn't, isn't something that I, I quite enjoy it, in fact. But some people find it very difficult. And also, it seems like on a spiritual path you go through, like so many, like Westerners that join the Saṅgha, are doing it oftentimes against the wishes of their families and There's oftentimes pressures from relatives and society to disrobe. And then also, if they don't develop a real insight, then after a while the life becomes meaningless. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:44 Highlight the passage at 1:03:44

1:04:39 Just living as a monk or nun without, you know, as an end in itself, it becomes meaningless and they lose their... interest and the inspiration is gone. There's also a lot of interest in, there's a lot of, like Western people, attitudes even towards Buddhism are often, they're very, like say in Thailand for example, where I lived for years, the way they'd explain their own difficulties, difficulties, their own personal difficulties, is very different than, say, a Western person. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:39 Highlight the passage at 1:04:39

1:05:21 They have the word karma they use and they have a kind of Buddhist context for their own suffering. Where in the West we've got all kinds of different attitudes about suffering and karma is... Report an error in the passage at 1:05:21 Highlight the passage at 1:05:21

1:05:43 Many people, Western people still find that difficult to accept because our sense of our personal relationship, our sense of our self is very strong. The personality view is very, very strong in modern society. So you don't have a, your sense of yourself is very much connected. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:43 Highlight the passage at 1:05:43

1:06:11 I mean, it's mainly isolated with me, this being here. In a Buddhist country, you have a wider frame of reference. Usually the families have quite, you identify with family a lot, with parents, and with a kind of wider... Report an error in the passage at 1:06:11 Highlight the passage at 1:06:11

1:06:36 perspective. which often times isn't so isolating, like to feel part of a family as an identity you a sense of belonging to something and just your own personality isn't the most important thing. But in my own experience, though I have good parents and everything, the sense of family was never developed and the sense of identity Um, With individuality, it was very strong. So this leads to a sense of increasing loneliness. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:36 Highlight the passage at 1:06:36

1:07:16 I think Western people suffer from incredible loneliness because their identities are so fixed within themselves. And so in monastic life, if you don't see through that identity, Report an error in the passage at 1:07:16 Highlight the passage at 1:07:16

1:07:36 And see the suffering you're creating through that identity, then your monastic life can make you feel more lonely. And so you long for, say, intimacy, to have a partner or somebody that you can relate to, you know, so that you can, because you feel so lonely and isolated within yourself. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:36 Highlight the passage at 1:07:36

1:08:01 Let's say in my own, experience because I have a lot of love of the Buddha Dhammasanga and also a tremendous sense of gratitude for being a monk and feeling connected in that way very strongly to Buddhists. Especially to Buddhist people. And then the loneliness that comes through being a celibate and being on the freaky fringe of British society. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:01 Highlight the passage at 1:08:01

1:08:54 Those aren't really sources of suffering for me anymore. So I don't think you have to worry about me. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:54 Highlight the passage at 1:08:54

1:09:13 I've never wanted to disrobe, in fact, because I really like the life and appreciate it. But I realize that's quite rare. how do ... Report an error in the passage at 1:09:13 Highlight the passage at 1:09:13

1:09:33 The problem with the western and with the Asian monks also is longing to disrobe. It's always in the, you know, there as a kind of option. In Sri Lanka, for example, where it's disgraceful to disrobe. You know, like in Thailand, it's no disgrace. In Burma, the same, isn't it? So that you ordain and then you can ordain for one day in Thailand. Somebody will make you a monk for one day. And then you can tell everybody, you know, somebody, you want to get married and the girl that you're interested in, they want their daughter to marry a man who's been a monk. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:33 Highlight the passage at 1:09:33

1:10:20 Because they feel that they wouldn't want to marry their daughter to a man who had never been a monk. He's like marrying her off to a barbarian or something. So then he says, have you been a monk? He says, yes, I've been a monk. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:20 Highlight the passage at 1:10:20

1:10:36 One day. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:36 Highlight the passage at 1:10:36

1:10:41 Which is kind of a misuse of it. But in Sri Lanka, there, you're kind of socially disgraced when you dethrone. And that also leads to problems, because then you get all kinds of problems of monks who stay monks who really hate it, don't want to be that way. But they would disgrace their families and everything if they just robbed. So then that leads to other problems. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:41 Highlight the passage at 1:10:41

1:11:17 So I don't know the answer, really. In Thailand, for example, Where they do have a lot more control over, like the monasteries, the nuns live very separate. Like in Wat Phra Pong, where we lived there. I mean, I never talked to a nun, ever in ten years. And they all knew me, but I didn't know any of them. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:17 Highlight the passage at 1:11:17

1:11:50 And so we were not even supposed to talk to them. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:50 Highlight the passage at 1:11:50

1:11:56 The quarters were very separate and we were never supposed to go over there. And we never kind of met socially at all in any way. So you can do that in Thailand because the culture praises that kind of thing and it supports it. But here you can't do that because the culture would be very averse to that. They wouldn't. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:56 Highlight the passage at 1:11:56

1:12:27 I couldn't possibly accept that kind of arrangement. So then you have to work within the culture, trying to pay respect and to use the good things within the culture here. This is what I'm trying to do. But actually the disrobing usually aren't so much like through... Report an error in the passage at 1:12:27 Highlight the passage at 1:12:27

1:12:58 Particularly falling in love with somebody, but through a tremendous despair around being a monk and the feeling of not being able to do it. And also other psychological problems. They have so many emotional hang-ups, Western people. Our minds become incredibly complicated. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:58 Highlight the passage at 1:12:58

1:13:26 I lived in northeast Thailand, so most of the monks there were from rice farming communities, and they weren't well-educated people, and they were from the farms, and they had a kind of basic, kind of simple but practical understanding of things, so that they weren't particularly complicated as personalities. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:26 Highlight the passage at 1:13:26

1:13:56 Their relationship to life was much more direct and not so convoluted. But just dealing with Western people, the mind is like a web of complexities, and it's trying to untangle that web. And this is, I notice that now like with... With Buddhist meditation, this is one reason that it attracts people, because we suffer so much, not from poverty, or particularly living in abusive situations and all that, but from just the mental creations of our mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:56 Highlight the passage at 1:13:56

1:14:53 And so you meet people who have been very fortunate in every way. Who have enormous problem of suffering that they have through the way they think. And this I could see was my problem. Suffering wasn't particularly through external things. I can't really complain about being mistreated or unloved or all that in terms of... Report an error in the passage at 1:14:53 Highlight the passage at 1:14:53

1:15:28 My parents or society, but the suffering was the way I thought. The thoughts weren't right. And so these thoughts were just endlessly kind of, as I grew older, like when I was 30, I really was horrified to think that I was 30 years old and... And I had to live longer than that because the way I was thinking was so critical, so negative in its focus that it was just a horror story, you know, the idea of having to live with a mind that aimlessly held on to resentment or was always looking at what was wrong with everything and very self-critical. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:28 Highlight the passage at 1:15:28

1:16:24 So then this propelled me into becoming a monk. So I remember on my 30th birthday, I thought, I can bear 30 more years of this if I can't do anything about it. You know, I have to just continue the same scenario going around for 30 more years. It was really a terrible prospect. So then, because I did have an interest in Buddhism, that was the light that at the end of the tunnel for me has moved into that. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:24 Highlight the passage at 1:16:24

1:17:02 Well then, that was what worked for me because I was interested, I had faith in that. Then the Buddhist teachings really worked for me and helped me to free the mind from these very oppressive... Report an error in the passage at 1:17:02 Highlight the passage at 1:17:02

1:17:22 Depressing thoughts, habits. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:22 Highlight the passage at 1:17:22

1:17:34 Well, Report an error in the passage at 1:17:34 Highlight the passage at 1:17:34

1:17:39 I used to think that all I had to do was get them in the robe and get them meditating and all their problems would be solved. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:39 Highlight the passage at 1:17:39

1:17:57 So I used to, you know, I was so convinced of this that... well. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:57 Highlight the passage at 1:17:57

1:18:04 I wasn't terribly fussy about who I ordained. I ordained some incredibly difficult people. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:04 Highlight the passage at 1:18:04

1:18:16 And Report an error in the passage at 1:18:16 Highlight the passage at 1:18:16

1:18:20 it kind of rebounded on me. Because I did have complete confidence. But then what's happened is you realize that people are ordained for different reasons. Like for me, meditation is... I have no problem, say, with therapies, like psychotherapies and different Western techniques of dealing with the mind, in terms of seeing it in terms of meditation even, because like... Report an error in the passage at 1:18:20 Highlight the passage at 1:18:20

1:19:05 We were encouraged in Thailand to develop skillful means around particular personal obstructions because unlike in the teach meditation you're given a technique or a kind of Report an error in the passage at 1:19:05 Highlight the passage at 1:19:05

1:19:28 And then you've got to deal with your own particular karma, with the kind of obstructions that you have, that you can't just through clinging to a particular technique. So then, Lin-pao-chao was very good at getting us to kind of... You develop skillful means around these, they're called upayas, so you develop skillful means around particular conditions that are obstructing you, you know, that might be very personal that you can't say, you know, that somebody else might not have that particular problem. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:28 Highlight the passage at 1:19:28

1:20:10 So we were encouraged to develop upayas all the time, or skillful means. But then some people have, the way they do meditation tends to be quite narrow, and so it has, so that they see, so they end up using a technique to suppress emotions rather than to liberate them. So you get people who tend to resist and suppress a lot, and then they're trying to hold everything down and trying to attain enlightenment. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:10 Highlight the passage at 1:20:10

1:20:49 And even though you give talks around this and encouragement not to do this, people tend to hear things, don't hear everything that you're saying. I think we're all quite selective in what we want to hear. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:49 Highlight the passage at 1:20:49

1:21:07 So I've always been surprised, you know, how I'm bewildered by many people's attitudes because I, you know, think that what they hear me saying isn't, you know, I don't remember saying all that or that's not what I meant anyway, how they're interpreting it. But these are the problems that exist in this realm of communication and... Report an error in the passage at 1:21:07 Highlight the passage at 1:21:07

1:21:35 Personal relationship and so forth. So it's an ongoing challenge. And living in the community also. Like I remember, the reason I ordained was really to be like a hermit. I thought of a Buddhist monk as being like living alone in the forest and little hut and you wouldn't have to deal with. Satsang with Mooji Satsang with Mooji Satsang with Mooji hope was really moving into a kind of hermetic of life then Report an error in the passage at 1:21:35 Highlight the passage at 1:21:35

1:22:21 with Lumponcha it was all very much community life. had to kind of adjust to life in a community of monks and upon that very Report an error in the passage at 1:22:21 Highlight the passage at 1:22:21

1:22:35 Difficult at first because I didn't have, my character isn't one, I mean I like being alone and I'm quite happy by myself. And so I don't, you know, I'm putting me in isolation, like solitary confinement is almost like a gift. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:35 Highlight the passage at 1:22:35

1:22:59 I read about people being put in solitary confinement and how lucky they are. It's a gift. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:59 Highlight the passage at 1:22:59

1:23:05 And that's a torture, I think. That's to torture them. But for me, that would be a real dream come true. But then other people find that is a torture. To be without human contact is incredibly painful. But then having to live in a community would bring up all kinds of fears and emotional reactions. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:05 Highlight the passage at 1:23:05

1:23:45 For one thing, I found out I have a very jealous nature. So living in community would bring up jealousy, which was an emotion I didn't like at all, which I didn't suffer from when I was alone. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:45 Highlight the passage at 1:23:45

1:24:05 So I didn't like that. And then, as you go, you know, I didn't mind actually being junior monk, like with Ajahn Chah. I admired him so much that I just thought it was a privilege, you know, and I didn't have any ambitions to be anything, you know, other than just enjoying following along, following him. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:05 Highlight the passage at 1:24:05

1:24:40 And riding in the wake of Ajahn Chah. He was such a wonderful person and he always enjoyed being around him. So he always enjoyed just being that foreign monk that was Ajahn Chah's disciple and you kind of tag along. Then I remember when he pushed me into being the head monk where we established Wat Nanachat. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:40 Highlight the passage at 1:24:40

1:25:09 And then I had to take on responsibility as an abbot of a monastery and teacher. And I remember finding that really threatening, just really bringing up incredible anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. But by that time, I could be real aware of those feelings rather than believing them and being stuck in that. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:09 Highlight the passage at 1:25:09

1:25:37 I could actually... Reflect on these emotions and so I could actually benefit from taking on responsibilities and then coming to the UK and he came with me in 1977. He stayed one month and then left, went back to Thailand. And I remember seeing him off at the airport. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:37 Highlight the passage at 1:25:37

1:26:08 And suddenly realizing, you know, I felt like an orphan, like I was being deserted, abandoned. And he flew off. And here I am in this place, you know, and, you know, on my own, and I don't have anybody to go to, you know. And he said not to come back to Thailand for five years. So... Abandoned. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:08 Highlight the passage at 1:26:08

1:26:36 But then that was also, you know, you could see the feelings of, I could work with those kind of feelings. But because of the upayas I developed, you know, I could really relate to this reflective practice of watching the mind. I have a natural tendency. But then some people find that very difficult. They're more rational in how they do things. So you get into a people who want to set up perfect monastic communities and are really concerned about making everything perfect only in the community or buildings or, you know, and it's... Report an error in the passage at 1:26:36 Highlight the passage at 1:26:36

1:27:32 problems that people have of trying to solve all the problems and create perfect harmony and understanding and where we share our lives and understand each other and support each other for spiritual development and on and on like that an emphasis is given on that level which is fine also but then it tends to me that I don't believe that's possible. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:32 Highlight the passage at 1:27:32

1:28:01 I just don't believe that you can sustain that. I've seen in my own experience that monasteries and things just go through cycles, where they kind of develop and kind of flourish and then they kind of diminish and then they rise up again and things like that. So it's more of a cyclical thing. This was... Report an error in the passage at 1:28:01 Highlight the passage at 1:28:01

1:28:33 With Ajahn Chah, they pointed to the cycle of his monastery. You know, how it, when I arrived, it was at its kind of flourishing stage. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:33 Highlight the passage at 1:28:33

1:28:45 And the first five years, it tended to kind of flourish, and then it started kind of falling. It seemed to be degenerating. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:45 Highlight the passage at 1:28:45

1:28:55 And so I went to him and I said, you know, it's not like it was, Ajahn Chah. When I first came here, You know, everything was much better and now it all seems, you know, it's not like it was and we've got to do something. And he just pointed, made me look at my own fear and feeling of, you know, he was getting me to look at what I was feeling rather than being intimidated by what I was saying. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:55 Highlight the passage at 1:28:55

1:29:27 And that impressed me a lot, you know, to be able to do that. Rather than to endlessly kind of worry and, you know, like if you're abbot of a monastery and you don't know how to do that, then this position is very burdensome because it's always, the movement is trying to, when it's at its peak, to try to hold it there and then you can't keep it there to get, to feel frustrated and start blaming people. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:27 Highlight the passage at 1:29:27

1:30:02 And then you start feeling resentful and you go, not only is the monastery falling apart, you are. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:02 Highlight the passage at 1:30:02

1:30:18 Well, it doesn't matter. As long as I'm not falling apart, then what the monastery does, I'll do my best. To encourage mindfulness, but not to try to, I don't feel obliged to prop it up, you know, to run around trying to make it work. So that makes it possible for me to, say, accept the responsibility without creating it into a burden and into endless kind of... Report an error in the passage at 1:30:18 Highlight the passage at 1:30:18

1:30:59 Feeling of carrying all these people at this monastery on my back. But this therapy and things like that, like learning to really, like modern therapies oftentimes are getting very Buddhist. So that there's a lot of kind of introspective attitudes now, watching and much more aware of, Looking at being able to know what you are feeling. Now for men, I think this is more difficult to know what you're feeling. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:59 Highlight the passage at 1:30:59

1:31:45 Because women seem to know what they're feeling much more clearly. Because men tend to not even want to be bothered, you know. And sometimes you ask them what they are feeling and they don't even know. And they don't really want to know because just something in you doesn't regard feeling as being very important. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:45 Highlight the passage at 1:31:45

1:32:13 And so getting notes are like some of the modern therapies are very much encouraging this kind of mindfulness of feeling, of what state of mind and being able to To let it be conscious. This is meditation, actually. You can see it in terms of satipaṭṭhāna, if you want. You can fit that into the four foundations of mindfulness. It's not like something outside that. But with many people, their minds work, and that Buddhism is one thing, therapy is another. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:13 Highlight the passage at 1:32:13

1:32:57 Some people say, Buddhism isn't a religion. Some people see it as a religion. Some people see Buddhism as a psychology, and some people see it as a philosophy. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:57 Highlight the passage at 1:32:57

1:33:12 And yet, when you really look at Buddhism, it includes all of those. It's philosophical, it's psychological, it's religious. I mean, it's not like you can put Buddhism and say it's a religion. That's it. As if it wasn't a philosophy or psychology, but it does include all of that. So that's one reason why, say, Western people feel attracted to Buddhadharma, because Buddha actually taught in psychological terms about nature of the mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:12 Highlight the passage at 1:33:12

1:33:53 And that we can relate to much more easily than to the cosmology. You know, like for Western educated people to relate to the six realms of existence. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:53 Highlight the passage at 1:33:53

1:34:11 We can look at it as some kind of interesting symbology, but oftentimes we think we can't relate to it in terms of... Report an error in the passage at 1:34:11 Highlight the passage at 1:34:11