Buddhism from A-Z, 2nd Semester - Bodhicitta: Developing the Big Heart (2 March 2010)

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1:04 Okay, we'll start by settling our minds and meditating our breath for a couple of minutes. Report an error in the passage at 1:04 Highlight the passage at 1:04

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3:14 So then on our left side visualize all sentient beings besides ourselves. On Report an error in the passage at 3:14 Highlight the passage at 3:14

3:30 our right side visualize ourself. Report an error in the passage at 3:30 Highlight the passage at 3:30

3:56 So habitually we've been cherishing ourselves but Report an error in the passage at 3:56 Highlight the passage at 3:56

4:05 look at all of these other sentient beings on our left. Report an error in the passage at 4:05 Highlight the passage at 4:05

4:17 So who does it make sense to cherish? This one being on our right are these countless sentient beings on our left. Report an error in the passage at 4:17 Highlight the passage at 4:17

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5:27 So self-cherishing and self-grasping are the root causes of all of our unhappiness. Report an error in the passage at 5:27 Highlight the passage at 5:27

5:43 And we've been cherishing ourselves since beginningless time. Report an error in the passage at 5:43 Highlight the passage at 5:43

6:00 If it made us happy, we would be supremely happy now. Report an error in the passage at 6:00 Highlight the passage at 6:00

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6:41 While cherishing others is a cause of happiness, expanding our hearts. Report an error in the passage at 6:41 Highlight the passage at 6:41

6:51 Being focused on others' happiness. Report an error in the passage at 6:51 Highlight the passage at 6:51

7:07 From cherishing others, we create positive karma, which results in future happiness. Report an error in the passage at 7:07 Highlight the passage at 7:07

7:33 And through cherishing others, we'll ultimately end our suffering forever. Report an error in the passage at 7:33 Highlight the passage at 7:33

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8:30 To cherish others more and more. To Report an error in the passage at 8:30 Highlight the passage at 8:30

8:54 reduce our own self-cherishing, Report an error in the passage at 8:54 Highlight the passage at 8:54

8:59 our self-pity thoughts, Report an error in the passage at 8:59 Highlight the passage at 8:59

9:07 our thoughts of me first. Report an error in the passage at 9:07 Highlight the passage at 9:07

9:31 And reducing our attachments. Report an error in the passage at 9:31 Highlight the passage at 9:31

9:57 Willing to give up things that we want. Report an error in the passage at 9:57 Highlight the passage at 9:57

10:02 In order to help others. Report an error in the passage at 10:02 Highlight the passage at 10:02

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10:54 And this is the way we'll ultimately attain happiness forever. Report an error in the passage at 10:54 Highlight the passage at 10:54

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11:42 Let's start with the Praise to Manjushri on page 84. Can Report an error in the passage at 11:42 Highlight the passage at 11:42

11:56 you hear me? No. Yeah, I can barely hear myself. I can barely hear. The volume's pretty low. Your voice goes real low. Okay, I'll speak louder during the class, but... Report an error in the passage at 11:56 Highlight the passage at 11:56

12:14 I know. Can you hear me now? Now that the meditation is over? Okay. Thanks, Chad. Report an error in the passage at 12:14 Highlight the passage at 12:14

12:35 Testing one, two, three. It sounds a little bit louder. Report an error in the passage at 12:35 Highlight the passage at 12:35

12:41 We'll test how limber Chad is. Report an error in the passage at 12:41 Highlight the passage at 12:41

12:49 Yeah, I think that's fine, yeah. You in the back row? Okay. Report an error in the passage at 12:49 Highlight the passage at 12:49

12:59 Obeisance to my guru and protector, Manjushri, who holds to his heart a scriptural text symbolic of his seeing all things as they are. Whose understanding shines forth as the sun, unclouded by defilements or traces of ignorance. Who teaches in sixty ways with the patient love of a father for his only son. Report an error in the passage at 12:59 Highlight the passage at 12:59

13:18 All creatures caught in the prison of saṃsāra, confused in the darkness of their ignorance, overwhelmed by their suffering. You whose dragon thunder proclamation of the Dharma arouses us from the stupor of our delusions and frees us from the iron chains of our karma. Whose powerful sword of wisdom hues down suffering wherever its sprouts appear, clearing away the darkness of all ignorance. Whose princely body is adorned with a hundred and twelve marks of a Buddha. Report an error in the passage at 13:18 Highlight the passage at 13:18

13:47 Who has completed the ten stages achieving the highest perfection of a bodhisattva. Who has been pure from the beginning. O Manjushri, all loving one, with the brilliance of your wisdom. Illuminate the darkness in closing my mind. Enlighten my intelligence and wisdom so that I may gain insight into Buddha's words and the texts that explain them. Report an error in the passage at 13:47 Highlight the passage at 13:47

14:09 Om Rapatsanadi, Om Rapatsanadi, Om Rapatsanadi, Om Report an error in the passage at 14:09 Highlight the passage at 14:09

14:36 Refuge and Bodhicitta on the bottom page 88 Report an error in the passage at 14:36 Highlight the passage at 14:36

14:47 I go for refuge until I am enlightened to the Buddha, the Dharma and the Supreme Assembly. By the merits I create through listening to the Dharma, may I become a Buddha in order to benefit all sentient beings. I go for refuge until I am enlightened to the Buddha, the Dharma and the Supreme Assembly. By the merits I create through listening to the Dharma, may I become a Buddha in order to benefit all sentient beings. Report an error in the passage at 14:47 Highlight the passage at 14:47

15:12 I go for refuge until I'm enlightened to the Buddha, the Dharma and the Supreme Assembly. By the merits I create through listening to the Dharma, may I become a Buddha in order to benefit all sentient beings. I'll Report an error in the passage at 15:12 Highlight the passage at 15:12

15:38 do that last time. Okay, so we've been talking about how to achieve bodhicitta. And last time, well, we finished the sevenfold instruction on cause and effect, right? And last time we started with exchanging oneself with others. Report an error in the passage at 15:38 Highlight the passage at 15:38

15:53 So the practice of exchanging oneself with others was a secret teaching for a long time. It was not disseminated widely because it's more difficult to practice. It's easier to develop affection for others and develop love and compassion for others than to put others' wants and needs ahead of our own and to cherish all other beings. Report an error in the passage at 15:53 Highlight the passage at 15:53

16:21 Right. So, uh, So when Atisha came to Tibet, he only taught this exchanging oneself with others to his main disciple. He didn't teach it to anybody else. So he taught it to Drom Tonpa. And Drom Tonpa only taught it to a couple of his main disciples, etc. Until Gishichakawa, he heard about, he heard one Phrase from the seven-point mind training, well, from the exchanging self with others, and he thought, ooh, you know, I want to find somebody who can teach me what this means, right? Report an error in the passage at 16:21 Highlight the passage at 16:21

17:02 And so he searched all over, and he couldn't find anyone, and, you know, finally he found Gishisharawa. Easy for me to say. Report an error in the passage at 17:02 Highlight the passage at 17:02

17:13 And he received the teaching, and he practiced it. And then he decided to disseminate it publicly, this teaching, because he was afraid of the lineage being broken. Report an error in the passage at 17:13 Highlight the passage at 17:13

17:29 So this is a very special teaching that not so long ago was not made public. Report an error in the passage at 17:29 Highlight the passage at 17:29

17:38 So last time we talked a bit about thinking about the advantages of exchanging ourselves with others and the disadvantages of not exchanging oneself with others. So just as a quick review, Shantideva says, whoever wishes to quickly protect self and other must exchange self for other. Practice this excellent secret. So if we want to quickly attain Buddhahood, if we want to quickly fulfill the welfare of ourselves and others, Then we need to practice exchanging oneself with others. This is the quickest way to get to Buddhahood. Learning to cherish others as being more important than ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 17:38 Highlight the passage at 17:38

18:24 And then you've seen this quote before, all happiness that exists in the world arises from wanting others' happiness. All suffering that exists in the world arises from wanting one's own happiness. Report an error in the passage at 18:24 Highlight the passage at 18:24

18:39 So here, cherishing oneself is the door to all problems. And cherishing others is the basis of all good qualities and excellences. Report an error in the passage at 18:39 Highlight the passage at 18:39

18:54 So here, Lama Tsongkhapa is saying that, okay, well, it's not so easy to exchange oneself with others, to learn to cherish others as we cherish ourselves now, and to cherish ourselves as much as we cherish others now. Not so easy, but through the force of familiarization, we can do it. Report an error in the passage at 18:54 Highlight the passage at 18:54

19:20 We can do anything with our minds through the force of familiarization, positive and negative. I'm going to skip this one because we went through that last time. Report an error in the passage at 19:20 Highlight the passage at 19:20

19:39 Then we get to the stages of meditating on how to exchange oneself and others. What does it mean to exchange oneself with others? Report an error in the passage at 19:39 Highlight the passage at 19:39

19:51 We covered this last time. It doesn't mean to look at... And... Report an error in the passage at 19:51 Highlight the passage at 19:51

19:55 For me to look at Peter's body and say, you know, that's me, right? And I'm Peter, right? That doesn't do anything, right? But to cherish Peter. Report an error in the passage at 19:55 Highlight the passage at 19:55

20:08 So to cherish Peter as I do myself now, right? Or even actually even more so, right? And to not be so concerned about, you know, what I want and what I need, right? true, ultimately. Report an error in the passage at 20:08 Highlight the passage at 20:08

20:24 So Lama Tsongkhapa says it's to exchange the rank of the two, the mind that cherishes oneself and the mind that neglects others, and to generate the mind that cherishes others like we do ourselves and neglects ourselves like we do others. So we talked a bit last time about this neglecting ourselves, right? It doesn't mean not taking care of our bodies and all of that, but not to place so much importance on what I want, right? Report an error in the passage at 20:24 Highlight the passage at 20:24

20:56 And I have this theory that's only an Emily theory. Report an error in the passage at 20:56 Highlight the passage at 20:56

21:04 Because sometimes when people think, oh, I should give up my self-cherishing, they go too far and become a martyr and become unhappy and give up too much. So we need to do this gradually and we need to be careful. eerie, but. Report an error in the passage at 21:04 Highlight the passage at 21:04

21:23 And my theory is to start with giving up things that we want, but not things that we need. Did I tell you this last week? My theory? My theory? To start with giving up things that we want, you know, but we don't necessarily need, right? And then gradually what we need becomes less, so then we can give less. Like Lama Zopa, he gives up, you know, he doesn't need basic things like sleep and food and, you know, things like that. Report an error in the passage at 21:23 Highlight the passage at 21:23

22:02 So he can, you know, so he can really, really do a lot for others. But, you know, but if we give up too many things that we need. Then we just get burned out, we give up, we get tired, we resent others. Because sometimes if we give up too much, we get angry. We get angry at others for taking advantage of us. So not useful. But to start with giving up the lesser things, like just things that we want and then work slowly, slowly. Report an error in the passage at 22:02 Highlight the passage at 22:02

22:36 So along with... Learning to cherish others, we need to slowly give up our attachments because it's our attachments that really prevent us from being able to cherish others. If I'm really attached to sitting on the couch, then I'd be not so excited to get up and run around and do a bunch of errands for somebody because I'm attached to sitting on the couch. Report an error in the passage at 22:36 Highlight the passage at 22:36

23:05 Or if I'm attached to being treated a particular way, then when somebody doesn't treat me that way, then I'm not inclined to help them. Report an error in the passage at 23:05 Highlight the passage at 23:05

23:16 So it's really our mental afflictions and particularly our attachments, our attachments and our aversions that prevent us from being able to cherish others the way we want to. Like we have this idea, yeah, let's cherish others, but being attached to sleep. Report an error in the passage at 23:16 Highlight the passage at 23:16

23:36 Speaking from personal experience is a big obstacle to being able to cherish others as much as I'd like. Yeah, Peter. I was just going to say, I think another thing that's really important to add is that renunciation is something that happens in our mind. It's not that the Buddha said you can never have a nice dinner or go on vacation. Report an error in the passage at 23:36 Highlight the passage at 23:36

23:55 It's that our attachment to those things is what's keeping us stuck here again and again. And I think that's something that gets really mixed up a lot in the West. As you were alluding to, people thinking that they have to give up every single thing they've ever enjoyed in order to be a devout Buddhist. That's not what the Buddha was talking about. Report an error in the passage at 23:55 Highlight the passage at 23:55

24:14 It's a middle path. It is a middle path, which is a very good point. But also we can fool ourselves with that as well, so to be careful. So to be willing, like let's say maybe, like to be fine having a good meal and to be fine having a cold, yucky meal too, right? And so if somebody else, you know, the homeless person is, you know, staring at our wonderful, you know, sandwich, you know, and they look starving to be willing to give it up, right, because they need it more than we do kind of thing. Report an error in the passage at 24:14 Highlight the passage at 24:14

24:50 But, yeah, we don't have to give up all of our pleasures, but we have to be careful if we're really attached to those, then, you know, then we need to work on detaching from those. Report an error in the passage at 24:50 Highlight the passage at 24:50

25:05 Did I see another hand? Report an error in the passage at 25:05 Highlight the passage at 25:05

25:19 That is also why it is taught that one's own happiness and others' suffering should be exchanged. Having perceived self-cherishing as our enemy, we will stop considering our own happiness to be a priority. Having perceived cherishing others as a quality and stopped neglecting the suffering of others, it will become a priority to eliminate it. Report an error in the passage at 25:19 Highlight the passage at 25:19

25:42 In short, we will act for the sake of eliminating the suffering of others without concern for our own happiness. So we do this not because somebody else told us, like somebody else told us, oh, you should give up your self-cherishing. But we do it because we're contemplating the advantages of cherishing others and the disadvantages of cherishing ourselves. And we see that it is our self-cherishing that's causing our unhappiness. Report an error in the passage at 25:42 Highlight the passage at 25:42

26:12 We really understand that in a deep way. We really understand that, oh, why are others mistreating me? Oh, that's because I've mistreated others in the past. Oh, and why did I mistreat others in the past? Well, because of my self-cherishing, because I didn't care about them as much as I care about myself. Report an error in the passage at 26:12 Highlight the passage at 26:12

26:37 Why am I sick? Oh, it's because of harming others' bodies in the past, because of my self-cherishing. So really understanding that all of our unhappiness, every single difficult situation that we've experienced in our life is due to our own self-cherishing. So our self-cherishing is like eating spoiled food, right? If we indulge our self-cherishing, then we're the ones who are going to be unhappy. Report an error in the passage at 26:37 Highlight the passage at 26:37

27:08 It's like if we eat spoiled food, we're the ones who are going to have a stomach ache. So I don't want to eat spoiled food because I don't want to get a stomach ache. So I don't want to cherish myself because I don't want to suffer in the future. Report an error in the passage at 27:08 Highlight the passage at 27:08

27:26 So I think we in the West often get this, oh, being selfish, being self-cherishing, that's bad. I'm a bad person if I have self-cherishing, so I should be a good person. You know, I mean, that might help to a certain extent. But I think it's much more effective if we just see it. Well, self-cherishing is, I don't want to indulge in it because I'm not going to get what I want. Report an error in the passage at 27:26 Highlight the passage at 27:26

27:52 I'm going to get everything that I don't want if I continue to indulge my self-cherishing. And then we feel really inspired to give up the self-cherishing. It's not like becoming a martyr and becoming miserable. I have to give up everything that I want and be miserable so that others can be happy. That's not the point. We ourselves will become happier the more we give up our self-cherishing and cherish others. Report an error in the passage at 27:52 Highlight the passage at 27:52

28:37 So then Lama Tsongkhapa goes into these two obstacles. That may arise in our minds to wanting to cherish others and giving up our own self-cherishing. And we talked about the first obstacle last time about considering oneself and others as distinct separate individuals. Report an error in the passage at 28:37 Highlight the passage at 28:37

29:05 And I'm going to skip that one. That one's about emptiness. Report an error in the passage at 29:05 Highlight the passage at 29:05

29:11 And then the second obstacle was this thinking. Maybe we think, oh well. Other suffering doesn't harm me, so why should I be concerned about that? So Lama Tsongkhapa says, well, if this was the case, there would be no need to accumulate wealth when young out of concern for the sufferings of old age, as the sufferings of the elderly person would not harm the youth. Report an error in the passage at 29:11 Highlight the passage at 29:11

29:38 All right, so now we're young. But now we take care of our bodies so that when we're older we won't be sick. Now we save money so that when we're older we'll have some money. But ourselves now, we're not experiencing the suffering of the older person. So why are we helping? This older person actually is, in Report an error in the passage at 29:38 Highlight the passage at 29:38

30:19 a way, it's a separate person, right? The older person has a different body than us. It has a different mental state, right, than us. So why are we helping the older person? Report an error in the passage at 30:19 Highlight the passage at 30:19

30:36 If you have objections, wait. Report an error in the passage at 30:36 Highlight the passage at 30:36

30:42 And then also there's this objection or a response that... The hand would not remove the sufferings of the foot because they are other. So if we step on a thorn, the hand will take the thorn out of the foot and maybe massage the foot and help the foot. But the hand is not the foot. The hand and foot are other. They're separate. So why would the hand, likewise, if you don't want to... Report an error in the passage at 30:42 Highlight the passage at 30:42

31:19 If you say that we're separate individuals, so why should I help this other person or this other being, then why would the hand help the foot? It's similar, right? They're separate. Report an error in the passage at 31:19 Highlight the passage at 31:19

31:38 So then you might say, those examples are bogus. So if you think the two, self and other, are not the same, since the elderly person and the youth are in the same continuum, and the hand and foot are the same collection, Report an error in the passage at 31:38 Highlight the passage at 31:38

31:57 Because we think, oh, well, but that's the same person, right? The old person, the young person, right? They're the same person, right? The hand and the foot, they're still, you know, they're part of the same collection. They're part of the same person, right? So then the response is, well, we'll start with the continuum, like the young person and the old person. Report an error in the passage at 31:57 Highlight the passage at 31:57

32:21 We call, you know, in the continuum, we call the older person and the younger person the same person. But it's just a label on a continuity. It's just the same label that's applied to an ever-changing continuity. Report an error in the passage at 32:21 Highlight the passage at 32:21

32:42 It's like the Missouri River in Nebraska and the Missouri River in Kansas. They're called the same thing because they're a continuity, but they're just called the same thing. But they're not the same, right? The basis is actually different, right? As I was saying, the body has changed, right? Report an error in the passage at 32:42 Highlight the passage at 32:42

33:12 Between now and the time we're 70, like every single cell in the body will be completely different. The mind will have gone through many different changes between now and we're 70. So the basis has changed, but it's just the label that's the same. Report an error in the passage at 33:12 Highlight the passage at 33:12

33:37 And we'll get into emptiness a lot more later. Report an error in the passage at 33:37 Highlight the passage at 33:37

33:43 So a continuum, so a continuum of many moments, if we think about the mind, only this present, no, I'm not going to get into that, that gets too complicated. So a continuum is just a label to many separate moments. There are many separate moments and then we label continuum or mind on those many instances. Report an error in the passage at 33:43 Highlight the passage at 33:43

34:16 Is many distinct moments. It's just a label on many distinct moments. So Report an error in the passage at 34:16 Highlight the passage at 34:16

34:33 we think about it, the past moments don't exist anymore. The future moments haven't arisen anymore. But the mind strings them together. The thought strings them together to create a mental continuum. Report an error in the passage at 34:33 Highlight the passage at 34:33

34:56 So this takes some thinking about. But let me just bring up a similar example of something that we call a song. What is a song? Report an error in the passage at 34:56 Highlight the passage at 34:56

35:12 It's many different sounds, right? Many separate notes, many separate sounds that our mind strings together and calls that a song. Let's Report an error in the passage at 35:12 Highlight the passage at 35:12

35:29 clarify things. But if you think about it, you know, you can only hear one, like one sound at a time. But then over the course of a few minutes, you know, our mind strings those sounds together and calls it a song. Report an error in the passage at 35:29 Highlight the passage at 35:29

35:49 A song doesn't exist from its own side. A song is something that the mind labels on a bunch of separate notes. Report an error in the passage at 35:49 Highlight the passage at 35:49

36:00 Similar to the mind, many mental events, many mental moments. Our mind labels that, strings that together and calls it a mental. I sang, song. Report an error in the passage at 36:00 Highlight the passage at 36:00

36:12 A mind or mental continuum. Report an error in the passage at 36:12 Highlight the passage at 36:12

36:21 Okay? Report an error in the passage at 36:21 Highlight the passage at 36:21

36:25 Okay. Let's try a couple questions. It Report an error in the passage at 36:25 Highlight the passage at 36:25

36:34 just kind of strikes me that that's a little bit in tension with what we've just been learning about cultivating bodhicitta. Do you know what I mean? Like this present mind that I am aware of right now may have greater compassion in this moment because of my meditations yesterday or in the last moment. Report an error in the passage at 36:34 Highlight the passage at 36:34

36:55 Do you know what I mean? Like this mind has arisen from the mind that... I mean, the reason that we do these meditations and try to cultivate compassion is so that in the future we can, like this moment is dependent on the last moment in a way that a note in a song is not dependent on the last note in a song, it seems to me. Report an error in the passage at 36:55 Highlight the passage at 36:55

37:17 It just seems like there's a little tension there. A little tension there? One saying, you know, the saying that there is dependent arising this moment on the last moment on the last moment. And so we should be. in this moment of what we're thinking of and what we're concentrating on and what we're trying to... Report an error in the passage at 37:17 Highlight the passage at 37:17

37:40 how we're trying to help ourselves become so that we can be better in the next moment there's a relationship Report an error in the passage at 37:40 Highlight the passage at 37:40

37:49 as opposed to saying this moment is totally disconnected from all the other moments Report an error in the passage at 37:49 Highlight the passage at 37:49

37:58 Well, it's not that they're totally disconnected. I mean, there is a cause and effect relationship, right? But they are separate moments. I mean, there's a causal relationship, but there's separate moments, and it's the mind that groups together separate moments into one thing. Like, there's no one mind. There are many mental moments, and the mind strings them together and calls it a mind. Report an error in the passage at 37:58 Highlight the passage at 37:58

38:31 Now, that may be a confusing thing to say, but right? Thought strings many moments together and creates... Mind out of it. There's no mind from its own side. It's our thinking. It's our conceptual mind that strings those things together to make it a whole, to make it one thing. There is no one thing. There are many separate parts that we label one thing, Report an error in the passage at 38:31 Highlight the passage at 38:31

39:09 which I'll get into when we talk about the collection part. Let me just continue with the collection and then Rose, I'll get back to your question. Is that okay? Okay. So the continuum is talking about many different moments, right, over time. Whereas a collection, Report an error in the passage at 39:09 Highlight the passage at 39:09

39:31 like the hand and the foot, right, those are parts within the body, right, of the person. So we can call them one person, but actually it's just a collection of many parts. The mind creates one thing out of all of the parts, but there isn't this one body or this one person. It's the mind that created it. It's like a forest. A forest seems to be one thing, but really it's just a collection of a bunch of trees and a bunch of foliage, and we call it a forest. Report an error in the passage at 39:31 Highlight the passage at 39:31

40:15 Similar to the body. You know, there's the heart and there's the lungs and there are the veins and the arteries and the, you know, all of the different parts. And we call it a whole. We call it one thing. We call it a body. There's not a body separate from all of the parts. The body is just labeled onto the parts. Report an error in the passage at 40:15 Highlight the passage at 40:15

40:39 Sometimes we think that there's like a body covering all the parts, you know, like a spread, like... Butter covering all the parts. But if we take away all the parts, then there's no body left. There's nothing covering all of the parts. Report an error in the passage at 40:39 Highlight the passage at 40:39

40:59 It's like one example that I like is the United States of America. The United States, we think of it as one country. But the United States is just a collection of 50 states. There's no United States apart from the 50 states. Report an error in the passage at 40:59 Highlight the passage at 40:59

41:21 right Report an error in the passage at 41:21 Highlight the passage at 41:21

41:28 Similarly, there's no body apart from the hand and the foot and the eyes and the nose and the liver and the kidneys, etc. There's no body separate from the parts. The body is just something labeled to the parts of the body, just like the United States is just labeled to 50 states. Report an error in the passage at 41:28 Highlight the passage at 41:28

41:56 So in the example of hand and foot, we call them part of the same body, right? But the body is just a label on its parts. Report an error in the passage at 41:56 Highlight the passage at 41:56

42:12 Okay, these are profound subjects and hard to kind of just go through like this and kind of just immediately get. But at least we hear it and we'll hear it again and we'll hear it again. But does that at least kind of make sense? Rose, do you want to ask your question? Report an error in the passage at 42:12 Highlight the passage at 42:12

42:33 Yeah, I think it makes sense. But somehow it's very difficult to really, really, really understand. And when you spoke about the song, I was just thinking, how do you make the distinction from one part to the other? It's also very difficult to take it apart, you know, where will be the cutting point? For example, also from moment to another moment, when do I know? Report an error in the passage at 42:33 Highlight the passage at 42:33

43:04 This moment is different from the next because they are so intervolved. That makes it very difficult to understand because we can't really take it apart, you know, like a puzzle. Yes, exactly. Actually, that gets more profound, right? Because there aren't... I mean, the way I made it sound was there are distinct moments, right? Report an error in the passage at 43:04 Highlight the passage at 43:04

43:31 I mean, I just said it that way to... For ease of understanding. But actually, if we look at those moments, right, they aren't distinct moments either because we can break those down and we can break this sub, like we can break particles down and we can break subparticles down, you know, can break everything down ad infinitum, actually. Report an error in the passage at 43:31 Highlight the passage at 43:31

43:56 And that's why nothing is inherently existent, actually, because everything can be broken down further. There's no hole from its own side. It's only the mind that creates holes. Holes, W-H-O-L-E-S, you know, single objects. The mind creates single objects, but there is no, well, I mean, let me be a little more correct. Report an error in the passage at 43:56 Highlight the passage at 43:56

44:27 It's the imputing mind, right, that brings into existence. Single objects. It's only the imputing mind or the labeling mind that brings into being single things because it gathers together many different things and calls it one thing, like the forest. We call that group of trees a forest. Or we call this piece of land. Report an error in the passage at 44:27 Highlight the passage at 44:27

45:06 You know, California. But if we search for, you know, we go to the border of California and Nevada, you know, it's hard to see how, you know, California and Nevada are so separate, right? It's just something that we, you know, out of convention, right, we put a sign saying, you know, welcome to Nevada, right, when we're leaving California. Report an error in the passage at 45:06 Highlight the passage at 45:06

45:30 But if we actually go there, we can't find the dividing line between California and Nevada. Report an error in the passage at 45:30 Highlight the passage at 45:30

45:39 It's just a convention, California versus Nevada. Report an error in the passage at 45:39 Highlight the passage at 45:39

45:51 So we'll probably end up spending about a year on emptiness at the end, so don't worry if you're not getting it now. The way you were starting to explain at the end of your comment just now was sort of the way that I'd heard it before, that we talk about continuum and collection. This is just conventional terminology because we're all... Report an error in the passage at 45:51 Highlight the passage at 45:51

46:16 just empty and we have to have things to talk about otherwise we'd just be like hey nothing what are you doing nothing I'm gonna have some nothing you know nothing um right I mean but But when you were talking about that, it made me think of something else and it might be a little bit off topic, so just drop it if it is. Report an error in the passage at 46:16 Highlight the passage at 46:16

46:41 So everything is essentially... Emptiness from its own side, everything is ultimately empty, right? We talk about that. But the thing that has kind of bothered me is, and this brings sort of karma into it, we pick up imprints, positive and negative imprints throughout our existence. And so we have like this... Report an error in the passage at 46:41 Highlight the passage at 46:41

47:10 If you will, a continuum of consciousness that goes on through lives, through lives, through lives. Report an error in the passage at 47:10 Highlight the passage at 47:10

47:18 Are those things ultimately empty as well, these imprints? Or how are they defined? Because they seem to be things. Like if I'm doing evil things, then I'm picking up these evil imprints and carrying them through to the next life. And are those things empty too? Yeah, they're all empty, but they function. Report an error in the passage at 47:18 Highlight the passage at 47:18

47:38 And this is what is so difficult to understand, I think. It's so profound. It's this union of emptiness and dependent arising. Nothing exists from its own side, but they function. So yeah, those karmic imprints, if we search for them, we won't find anything existing from their own side. But they will still function. Doing that negative action will still function to bring about suffering in the future. Report an error in the passage at 47:38 Highlight the passage at 47:38

48:06 So His Holiness the Dalai Lama says, you know, so we need to understand both, right? That karma functions and things are empty from their own side, right? And if our understanding of emptiness is starting to negate functionality in our minds, like it's starting, like our mind is starting to think, oh, well, things are empty so I can do anything that I want. Report an error in the passage at 48:06 Highlight the passage at 48:06

48:29 It doesn't matter. And he says, then back up with your understanding of emptiness. It's more important to remember functionality, especially karmic functionality, and not make the mistake of negating that when we're studying emptiness. So things are formless, but they have function, but function is just a convention too, right? Report an error in the passage at 48:29 Highlight the passage at 48:29

49:04 Yeah, right. Report an error in the passage at 49:04 Highlight the passage at 49:04

49:12 Yeah, well, for sure. It takes, you know, many years and lifetimes and all of that, so difficult. Report an error in the passage at 49:12 Highlight the passage at 49:12

49:26 I mean, just like anything else, right? It's just through the power of familiarization and, you know, purification, accumulation, that it makes sense more and more. But Report an error in the passage at 49:26 Highlight the passage at 49:26

49:48 all? Report an error in the passage at 49:48 Highlight the passage at 49:48

49:56 Okay. Yeah, so what Peter was just referring to is there's a scholar named Guy Newland who wrote... A book called Introduction to Emptiness. And so he's coming the second weekend in March. So that's like a week and a half from now. So he's coming from where does he live? Michigan. Michigan, you know, to teach. So very good to come if you want to get more teachings on emptiness. Report an error in the passage at 49:56 Highlight the passage at 49:56

50:27 All right. Okay. Report an error in the passage at 50:27 Highlight the passage at 50:27

50:33 And then Lama Tsongkhapa says, yet your own suffering is unbearable due to the power of familiarization from beginningless time with self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 50:33 Highlight the passage at 50:33

50:43 So why can't we stand our own suffering? It's because of the power of familiarization, thinking again and again, oh, you know, I... That's too painful or that really hurts or I'm so tired and I don't feel well. Through the power of familiarization, we get this familiarization with self-cherishing. We can't stand our suffering because we think, oh, suffering is bad and I have a stomach ache and my back hurts. Report an error in the passage at 50:43 Highlight the passage at 50:43

51:22 and, you da-da-da-da, right? But if we familiarize... Familiarize ourselves with cherishing others, their suffering will also become unbearable. So now, and to greater or lesser extent, we can deal with others' suffering. It doesn't bother us as much as our own suffering bothers us. But through the power of practice, through the power of familiarization, others' suffering will be as unbearable as our own suffering is now. Report an error in the passage at 51:22 Highlight the passage at 51:22

51:55 But that one's really hard. Because we can, I think I mentioned this before, like we can feel really bad for, you know, those poor people in Haiti and Chile for losing their homes and losing their loved ones. But we don't feel as bad for them as we would for us if we lost our families and our homes, right? You know, so it's hard to imagine, you know, feeling like worse for them than for ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 51:55 Highlight the passage at 51:55

52:28 But through the power of familiarization, we can do it. It just takes time, right? Slowly, slowly. Report an error in the passage at 52:28 Highlight the passage at 52:28

52:40 Just to comment, I think with that, I've tried to counteract it with some humor, but just by telling myself I'm just sick of hearing myself complain. And then I laugh. So that helps a lot. It's like, oh, go away. It gets boring to hear when you start noticing. Like how much you whine about, you know, how bad things are for ourselves. Like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Emily, you know, I've heard this a million times, right? Report an error in the passage at 52:40 Highlight the passage at 52:40

53:10 Yeah. But, yeah, it takes a while. Report an error in the passage at 53:10 Highlight the passage at 53:10

53:16 Okay. Report an error in the passage at 53:16 Highlight the passage at 53:16

53:25 And the actual way to meditate. So Lama Tsongkhapa doesn't actually get into these five steps of equalizing, exchanging self and others, but... I wanted to bring it out. Pabongka Rinpoche talks about this in his book, Liberation in the Palm of Your Hands. So we start with equalizing ourself and others. Report an error in the passage at 53:25 Highlight the passage at 53:25

53:49 So how self and others are equal. And then we contemplate the faults of self-cherishing and the good qualities from cherishing others. Report an error in the passage at 53:49 Highlight the passage at 53:49

54:01 And then the fourth step is the actual contemplation on the exchange of self and others. And then number five is the Tonglen practice, giving and taking, with these serving as the basis, the way to meditate on giving and taking. Report an error in the passage at 54:01 Highlight the passage at 54:01

54:16 Okay, so the first step, Lama Tsongkhapa doesn't talk about at all, but basically so equalizing self and others, right? We can't immediately jump into cherishing others as being more important than ourselves, right? But at least we can try to cherish others as much as we do ourselves, or at least we can. Report an error in the passage at 54:16 Highlight the passage at 54:16

54:36 Start by trying to do that. And how do we do that? So Lama Tsongkhapa or the Guru Puja says, there is no difference between myself and others. We do not want the smallest suffering, yet happiness never satisfies. Bless me to be glad at others' joy. So we equalize ourselves and others by thinking that, okay, we're all the same and wanting happiness, right? Report an error in the passage at 54:36 Highlight the passage at 54:36

55:03 And not wanting suffering. So we talked about this as one of the methods for developing equanimity. But here the emphasis is how, you know, we're no more important than others. We're all the same. We all want the same thing. So why focus on just one person's happiness or, you know, five people's happiness, you know, if we have five people in our family or, you know, or 20 people's happiness if we have, you know. Report an error in the passage at 55:03 Highlight the passage at 55:03

55:32 a group of friends and family that we really care about but then everybody else you know who cares but like them in the meditation we did earlier you know there are countless beings and only one of us so who do we want to cherish you know does it make sense to cherish this one person or these five people does It makes sense to cherish Report an error in the passage at 55:32 Highlight the passage at 55:32

55:57 And Report an error in the passage at 55:57 Highlight the passage at 55:57

56:04 then contemplating the... Many faults resulting from self-cherishing. So we talked about this quite a bit last week, but here Lama Tsongkhapa says, By the power of attachment to the self, the self-cherishing has produced much that is undesirable from beginningless time up till now. Despite the fact that you wanted to create excellence for yourself, you engaged in unsuitable means, considering your own welfare paramount. Report an error in the passage at 56:04 Highlight the passage at 56:04

56:33 Due to this, neither your own welfare nor that of others was accomplished, although an incalculably greater number of eons passed. Not only did you not accomplish that, you were tormented only by suffering. So this is what we were talking about. We have lots of practice with self-cherishing. We've been doing it since beginningless time. But where has that gotten us? More saṃsāra. Report an error in the passage at 56:33 Highlight the passage at 56:33

57:02 Negative karma, we've created more difficult circumstances. So as I was saying before, every unwanted circumstance is a result of having created negative karma due to our self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 57:02 Highlight the passage at 57:02

57:25 Also our unhappiness now is a result of cherishing ourselves so much. Because I'm not getting what I want or I don't feel as satisfied or others aren't treating me well or I don't have as much money as I want or I don't have the job that I want. I don't feel fulfilled. I don't have the relationship that I want. Others aren't respecting me the way that I should be respected. Report an error in the passage at 57:25 Highlight the passage at 57:25

57:58 The self-pity me or feeling inferior to others is a result of self-cherishing. Feeling self-pity is a result of self-cherishing. You know, feeling bad about ourselves is a result of self-cherishing. So all of our unhappiness is a result of self-cherishing if we really think about it. Report an error in the passage at 57:58 Highlight the passage at 57:58

58:27 And if you've ever studied this text called The Wheel of Sharp Weapons, this mind training text, Report an error in the passage at 58:27 Highlight the passage at 58:27

58:36 Dharma Raksita goes into lots and lots of detail on how the self-cherishing mind has created our suffering. Here he says, Report an error in the passage at 58:36 Highlight the passage at 58:36

58:53 when my body aches and I cannot bear it, it's through delivering harm to the bodies of other beings. So through our self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 58:53 Highlight the passage at 58:53

59:05 We've harmed other beings, so we have physical illness, body aches, etc. Mental suffering is through agitating the minds of others, so being inconsiderate of others, being neglectful of others, mistreating others. Report an error in the passage at 59:05 Highlight the passage at 59:05

59:27 That's the cause of mental suffering now. When we feel used by others or powerless under others' control, that's a result of misusing others in the past. Including animals, right? Misusing animals, other people, looking down on others, etc. Through our self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 59:27 Highlight the passage at 59:27

59:56 So again and again, when we hear unpleasant words, it's through uttering harsh speech and slander in the past, right? Due to our self-cherishing. So if we look back on our lives and think of every circumstance we've ever experienced that we didn't like. Report an error in the passage at 59:56 Highlight the passage at 59:56

1:00:20 We can trace that to negative karma that we've created due to our self-cherishing. So we think that self-cherishing is our friend and we'll get what we want because of our self-cherishing, but actually the self-cherishing causes us to create actions that will bring about exactly what we don't want in the future. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:20 Highlight the passage at 1:00:20

1:00:42 Does Report an error in the passage at 1:00:42 Highlight the passage at 1:00:42

1:00:48 that make sense? Report an error in the passage at 1:00:48 Highlight the passage at 1:00:48

1:00:56 And then the good qualities resulting from cherishing others. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:56 Highlight the passage at 1:00:56

1:01:13 Another thing that... About the disadvantages of self-cherishing is that with our self-cherishing mind, we can never be satisfied. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:13 Highlight the passage at 1:01:13

1:01:26 As long as we cherish ourselves, it's never enough. Like when we get what we want, I mean, how long does that satisfaction last? Yeah, exactly. Right. When we win, you know. You feel joy for how long? And then you just want to win again, right? And again and again. Or, you know, if we have the most wonderful meal, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:01:26 Highlight the passage at 1:01:26

1:02:04 Does that satisfy us for long? Then we just want another one, right? And another one and another one. And a good vacation. Then we just want another one and another one. So with self-cherishing, we can never be satisfied. We'll just always want more and more and more. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:04 Highlight the passage at 1:02:04

1:02:34 Okay, let's take a break. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:34 Highlight the passage at 1:02:34

1:02:45 Any questions on anything we've covered so far or comments? Report an error in the passage at 1:02:45 Highlight the passage at 1:02:45

1:02:57 Wait. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:57 Highlight the passage at 1:02:57

1:03:03 Yeah, Wheel of Sharp Weapons? Yeah, yeah. That's a good one. There's a book called Peacock in the Poison Grove that is a commentary on Wheel of Sharp Weapons and another mind training text by Gishisopa. And that's a really good one to get. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:03 Highlight the passage at 1:03:03

1:03:23 Peacock and the poison growth. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:23 Highlight the passage at 1:03:23

1:03:29 Yeah, yeah, we'll get there. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:29 Highlight the passage at 1:03:29

1:03:43 The other steps. Yeah, yeah. We do need to do all of these five. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:43 Highlight the passage at 1:03:43

1:03:57 Okay, so contemplating the many good qualities resulting from cherishing others. So the third step, Lama Tsongkhapa says, if you had shifted the concern for your own welfare to that of others, you would have become a Buddha a long time ago. And both your other... What both your own and others' welfare would have, without doubt, become excellent. But as you did not do that, the time has been spent with meaningless exertion. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:57 Highlight the passage at 1:03:57

1:04:28 So we talked about this last time, right? The Buddha was just like us, Buddha Shakyamuni Buddha was just like us, a sentient being, cherishing himself. At some point he stopped doing that, right? He started cherishing others more and more. And he became a Buddha. And we stayed sentient beings. So since self-cherishing hasn't worked in our long time of practicing it, so you can think about cherishing others more and more. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:28 Highlight the passage at 1:04:28

1:05:03 I Report an error in the passage at 1:05:03 Highlight the passage at 1:05:03

1:05:08 think along with this, Lama Tsongkhapa doesn't mention this, but... I think it's useful at this point really to do a lot of meditation on affectionate love, right, meditating on the kindness of others and developing a sense of affection for others. Because if we just try to do things for others and we don't like them, you know, if we think that they're morons or something like that, you know, then... Report an error in the passage at 1:05:08 Highlight the passage at 1:05:08

1:05:38 You know, we might be doing something for others, but we're not really cherishing them, right? And it's really painful, right, to do things for others. So it's really helpful to cherish others based on a sense of care and concern and affection for them, right? Not just cherishing others because that's what we're supposed to do, right? But from the heart, right? Genuinely doing. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:38 Highlight the passage at 1:05:38

1:06:09 So I was looking for this comic strip. This friend of mine showed me a comic strip of some little guy declaring to his friend, okay, I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm going to start loving others. And then he says something like, even those morons or something like that. And his friend says, well, you might want to start by not thinking of them as morons. And he said, oh. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:09 Highlight the passage at 1:06:09

1:06:45 Well, I consider that to be insurmountable. So if we continue to think of people as morons, we're not going to get very far in our cherishing others. So morons, idiots, stupid, jerks, like all of these adjectives that we may use to nouns. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:45 Highlight the passage at 1:06:45

1:07:13 That we use to describe people are big obstacles to being able to really love others. So we can kind of pay attention to if those labels come up in our minds then to work on that. So instead of thinking of them as morons through mind training we think of them as being kind. We think of them, oh they're so kind, they're my brothers and sisters and my mothers. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:13 Highlight the passage at 1:07:13

1:07:39 and you know words that bring about A feeling of affection, right, instead of aversion. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:39 Highlight the passage at 1:07:39

1:07:59 So once again, you know, one of the obstacles of cherishing others is our own attachments, right, our own attachments to comfort the way things should be, the way other people should be. Like, I can cherish you as long as you act in the way that meets my standards kind of thing, you know, but if you don't. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:59 Highlight the passage at 1:07:59

1:08:24 If you don't, then it's really difficult to cherish others. So letting go of our attachments, our expectations of the way people should act and just loving them, cherishing them the way that they are, right? Not approving of their behavior, right? But just being able to love and accept them the way that they are and they're doing, you know, they may do... Report an error in the passage at 1:08:24 Highlight the passage at 1:08:24

1:08:52 Hurtful things, but that's because of their mental afflictions. So thinking of other beings as being someone who's under the control of a disease or something like that. As opposed to being inherently bad or inherently a jerk. But someone who's just under the control of mental afflictions and that's why they do. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:52 Highlight the passage at 1:08:52

1:09:23 You know, not so constructive things. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:23 Highlight the passage at 1:09:23

1:09:36 Like the example, I was reading an example the other day about, you know, imagine we're walking down the sidewalk with an armful of groceries, right? And somebody bumps into us, right? And causes us to spill our groceries all over and, you know, we fall down and our eggs break and, you know, all of that, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:09:36 Highlight the passage at 1:09:36

1:09:57 If our first reaction was, you know. Are you clumsy? Are you blind? And then you get up and you see that they actually are blind. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:57 Highlight the passage at 1:09:57

1:10:12 Then we have compassion for them. Oh, I'm sorry. But this is the state of all sentient beings. We're all blinded by our ignorance. We're all blinded by our mental afflictions, our ignorance and our mental afflictions. So that's how we can have compassion for others who are doing really harmful things. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:12 Highlight the passage at 1:10:12

1:10:42 So one thing that I really learned from my Lama that I studied from in Italy, Geshe Giampa Giazzo, he had this incredible love about him, complete openness, love, acceptance of everyone. And so you just always felt Report an error in the passage at 1:10:42 Highlight the passage at 1:10:42

1:11:11 there's a sense of space, a sense of acceptance about him. Like you'd go in and... You know, you'd do something stupid or, you know, whatever. And he never, you know, you never felt judged. You never felt like he, yeah, I mean, you never felt judged. You just always felt accepted. He might tell you, you know, don't do this kind of thing. But you could feel the love that was behind it, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:11:11 Highlight the passage at 1:11:11

1:11:41 And so that's what we're training to do, right, is to love everyone, not to accept all of their. Their behaviors, right? We help them with their negative behaviors. But to love and accept everyone, right? Without judgment. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:41 Highlight the passage at 1:11:41

1:12:04 So I was thinking today, like one exercise that might be useful for some of us, I think is listening. Because a lot of us are good at talking, but it's very difficult to deeply listen to another being, right? Really listen and try to hear what they're saying and feel what they need. So I think that that's a really good exercise to try sometimes. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:04 Highlight the passage at 1:12:04

1:12:42 Be fully present with the other person, like not be thinking about all the things you have to do, right? But really be fully present and really listen, right? And not to think about, you know, your response, you know, how can I, you know? You know, right away, right? But just think, but just listen. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:42 Highlight the passage at 1:12:42

1:13:19 And then the actual contemplation on the exchange of self and other. So here, this is where in our minds we're actually exchanging, like the attitude of being, like putting myself first with the attitude of putting others first, right? Cherishing others first. Lama Tsongkhapa says, with this understanding I shall rely on the mindfulness and introspection that my self-cherishing is my worst enemy and make much effort so that the self-cherishing that is not arisen does not arise and that which has arisen does not last long. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:19 Highlight the passage at 1:13:19

1:13:57 So here we use this mindfulness and introspection like this mental spy that's constantly aware of what's arising in our minds. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:57 Highlight the passage at 1:13:57

1:14:11 And to try to prevent the self-cherishing from arising. I mean, I think about that and I think, well, you know, maybe that's not so realistic to prevent the self-cherishing from arising at all. But at least, right, to not indulge it in it when it arises, right? So when the mind thinking, oh, you know, poor me, I'm so tired and I really don't feel well, you know, to notice that and just cut it off, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:14:11 Highlight the passage at 1:14:11

1:14:40 Instead of, you know, letting that go on and on. Because that doesn't do anyone any good, right? You know, others don't want to be around us when, you know, we're whining about, you know, our aches and pains, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:14:40 Highlight the passage at 1:14:40

1:14:57 And it doesn't help our state of mind. Are we happy when we're whining about, okay, whining, complaining about, you know, what's going on for us? Report an error in the passage at 1:14:57 Highlight the passage at 1:14:57

1:15:08 I mean, verbally or mentally. Or Report an error in the passage at 1:15:08 Highlight the passage at 1:15:08

1:15:18 when the... When the mind of superiority or inferiority arises, there's no benefit to that. It's just self-cherishing to just cut that off. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:18 Highlight the passage at 1:15:18

1:15:37 So with that mental spy, noticing as these thoughts arise and then just don't indulge in them, just change the subject. Think about something else or somebody else, like what we can do for others. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:37 Highlight the passage at 1:15:37

1:16:06 Beating ourselves up. Those thoughts. Sometimes, you know, some of us have those kinds of thoughts. It doesn't help anything, right? Not to indulge in those and just to try to cut those off. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:06 Highlight the passage at 1:16:06

1:16:21 Another self-cherishing thought. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:21 Highlight the passage at 1:16:21

1:16:30 So it's like, Report an error in the passage at 1:16:30 Highlight the passage at 1:16:30

1:16:34 let's say we don't like spicy foods, right? And we bite into something that has jalapeno peppers, right? You immediately, right, spit it out, right, because you know that you're going to suffer if you keep chewing it, right? So it's similar, like self-cherishing, self-pity thoughts arise. We immediately cut it off because we know that it will just bring unhappiness. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:34 Highlight the passage at 1:16:34

1:17:19 How convinced are we that self-cherishing is the cause of our unhappiness? Report an error in the passage at 1:17:19 Highlight the passage at 1:17:19

1:17:39 Just looking in my present life, where I am, what I'm doing. Why for so many times I lose everything? It just made me realize that I was doing something wrong all this time. It's the time and the opportunity to change that. Maybe not all in this life, but I will try it. I don't want to suffer more. I don't want to come back and suffer again and again with the same things that I know in my heart and I feel that I did it. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:39 Highlight the passage at 1:17:39

1:18:13 When I'm doing something wrong now, something happened, or sometimes I'm trying to do the right thing, but something arises, something negative. I said, wow, I did more than I was thinking. I accumulated more karma than I was thinking. Yes, I'm more aware now that I don't want to suffer more. I don't want to add more in that bag. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:13 Highlight the passage at 1:18:13

1:18:39 You know, I'm trying to do the, you Everything is completely different and trying to be more aware when something arises. I'm more aware. I feel very blessed because I'm starting waking up a little bit. Great. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:39 Highlight the passage at 1:18:39

1:19:08 I think we have to contemplate this from many different angles though. Because for most of us there's still certain self-cherishing thoughts we still believe in. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:08 Highlight the passage at 1:19:08

1:19:22 We still think bring us happiness. Yes, so to really look at that, really challenge that. Does this really make me happy? Like justifying our irritation. Does that really make me happy? Right? Now and in the future, is that going to make me happy? Or, you know, being critical and judgmental of others. You know, does that really make me happy? Is that going to make me happy in the future? Report an error in the passage at 1:19:22 Highlight the passage at 1:19:22

1:19:55 Self-cherishing is so deeply ingrained and really, really likes to preserve itself. It cherishes itself, exactly. It's really threatened by this thought of cherishing others, right? So I think we have to contemplate this again and again from many different angles and really looking at our habitual thoughts and say, okay, well, if we keep allowing those, If we have thoughts to arise, then there's a part of us that still believes in them. Like if we have a thought of, you know, that guy is just so irritating and we think, you know, that co-worker or whatever. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:55 Highlight the passage at 1:19:55

1:20:42 You know, if we keep thinking that same thing about that same person again and again and never try to challenge it, that's a good sign that, right, we're getting something out of thinking that way and we think that that's a cause of... Report an error in the passage at 1:20:42 Highlight the passage at 1:20:42

1:20:57 Happiness. So then to really look at that, is that a thought that I want to continue? Report an error in the passage at 1:20:57 Highlight the passage at 1:20:57

1:21:06 You know, this kind of resonates with me when I think about some other things that are sort of in the news lately, like health care reform and stuff like that. You know, one example is like smoking. A lot of us feel like, you know, I smoked for a couple of years myself, you know, and a lot of us feel like it's my right to smoke. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:06 Highlight the passage at 1:21:06

1:21:29 It's legal. We don't really think about how other people will have to take care of us 50 years down the road when we have emphysema or lung cancer. We're running up high medical bills. Other people will be bearing the burden that we are indulging in ourselves or overeating or driving a Hummer. All these sorts of things where we are putting our own... Report an error in the passage at 1:21:29 Highlight the passage at 1:21:29

1:21:55 Happiness or short-term satisfaction ahead of the long-term consequences that others will have to bear in the future. And I think about this in that context sometimes. Yeah, I mean very much. And that's where the self-cherishing really gets, you know, starts getting hidden too. It's like, you know, like just driving. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:55 Highlight the passage at 1:21:55

1:22:15 I mean I notice for myself, you know, it's raining outside or it's cold outside and I don't, you know, I don't feel like... Walking or riding my bike to get groceries, you know, and, you know, my laziness, I hop in the car and go get groceries. That's self-cherishing. That's, you know, that's creating pollution in the environment. But it's my attachment to, right, not freezing on my bike, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:22:15 Highlight the passage at 1:22:15

1:22:47 You know, and so, you know, so it's just something, you know, that I need to work on again and again. You know, and I know it arises in my mind and I'm like, yeah, next time I'll take my bike. But, you know, today I want to drive. I just don't feel like being wet and cold today, you know, kind of thing. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:47 Highlight the passage at 1:22:47

1:23:07 You know, just, you know, and I can easily justify, oh, but, you know, but then I'll get sick, you know, blah, blah. But it really just comes down to self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:07 Highlight the passage at 1:23:07

1:23:19 So, but we all have things like that. And so I think we work on the... I think we work on the bigger harms to others first, and then these subtler things are just really hard. We can't just give up everything now. We can't just give up. I can't give up my car completely now. That would be just too traumatic for me. But slowly, slowly, riding my bike more and more and driving less and less kind of thing. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:19 Highlight the passage at 1:23:19

1:23:58 So it's a gradual process. Yeah, but in the aggregate it makes an enormous difference. I mean, there will be tremendous suffering a hundred years from now for the people that are alive on the planet, I think, as a consequence of our decisions in the aggregate today. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:58 Highlight the passage at 1:23:58

1:24:15 Yeah, I'm not killing anybody today, but if I continue to smoke, I continue to... Right, right. I mean, we can see that with anything. It's like... Report an error in the passage at 1:24:15 Highlight the passage at 1:24:15

1:24:27 Eating meat or walking carelessly across the grass and killing insects. You know, there's so many things that we do that harm others. But, you know, but slowly, slowly we can we can give up these things. Yeah. Become more mindful. You gave up your homework. Good for you. You Report an error in the passage at 1:24:27 Highlight the passage at 1:24:27

1:24:55 stopped running over people. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:55 Highlight the passage at 1:24:55

1:24:59 That's a step in the right direction. I'll bring them. I'll bring them. right. I just wanted to say I'm glad you drive because otherwise you couldn't be here. And then you can't separate that there's a job of the person that takes care of the person that's sick that shouldn't have smoked. I smoke and I think that. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:59 Highlight the passage at 1:24:59

1:25:27 But then again there's the doctor who makes a living by taking care of me when eventually I poison myself and get sick. So pretty complicated. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:27 Highlight the passage at 1:25:27

1:25:39 Yeah, so with everything, I mean just... Just having a body, actually, just being in saṃsāra, we're going to harm others, unfortunately. Just needing to eat, other beings are going to die because we have to eat. So with everything, we have to weigh what is the greatest benefit. We have to be realistic and then we need to weigh the greater benefit. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:39 Highlight the passage at 1:25:39

1:26:08 It's like, as Jeannie was saying, I have to drive quite far to come here. And I have a friend of mine that is really disturbed by me driving up here and thinks that I shouldn't do it because he's trying to make not a big footprint on the earth. And so he thinks that the benefit doesn't outweigh the cost. But I decided that I was willing. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:08 Highlight the passage at 1:26:08

1:26:38 The benefit does outweigh the cost, basically the benefit. Because staying at home and not coming isn't beneficial for anyone. So I'm hoping that it's more beneficial to come than to not come. And unfortunately I have to drive to do it. So we just have to weigh these things. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:38 Highlight the passage at 1:26:38

1:27:02 First, I would heartily disagree with your friend because there are all these sentient beings here that are benefiting from this and who knows where any of us will end up one day. So I disagree with your friend. But anyway, I'm glad you're here. The other thing is this brings up an important point, which is we should never judge others for their habits, beliefs, actions or attitudes. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:02 Highlight the passage at 1:27:02

1:27:22 Just because we're working on our personal renunciation, we should never point fingers at others and say, oh, look at her. She's fat. I look at her, she still smokes. And we all do that, even practitioners. And I think it's something that we have to be very careful because then that's turning the Dharma into a weapon instead of being beneficial to others. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:22 Highlight the passage at 1:27:22

1:27:43 I think it's a very fine line. Well, I mean, again and again, right? The Dharma says... Don't look at what others are doing. Look at what you're doing. We look at our own actions, our own minds. And when we're really honest with ourselves, when we really know our own minds, then we see that we do all sorts of things. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:43 Highlight the passage at 1:27:43

1:28:10 And then we can't judge others because we see that we're doing the same thing. Maybe to a different degree, or it's manifesting in a different way, but we all have self-cherishing. We're all doing things that we know we shouldn't be doing, but we can't help it yet. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:10 Highlight the passage at 1:28:10

1:28:32 So I think that brings a lot of spaciousness and a lot of compassion when we look at our own minds. Venerable Chickie used to always say, we don't want to be the Dharma police. right, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:32 Highlight the passage at 1:28:32

1:28:44 Yeah. And I think that's a really good point, you know. And it's an easy tendency. I've caught myself being the Dharma police and we just don't want to go there. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:44 Highlight the passage at 1:28:44

1:28:54 I mean, it's so easy to do that, right, when we listen to a Dharma teaching, right, and what pops up, oh, I know someone who does that, right? Oh, yeah, that guy at work, that's what, or my brother, that's what he does, right? You know, whereas we, you know, it's harder to see in our own minds, but. That's the point, right? I do that. Oh yeah, I do that. I need to work on that. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:54 Highlight the passage at 1:28:54

1:29:24 So, but gently, slowly, slowly, right? Slowly. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:24 Highlight the passage at 1:29:24

1:29:34 Okay. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:34 Highlight the passage at 1:29:34

1:29:44 Okay, so we try, so based on contemplating the faults of self-cherishing and the good qualities of cherishing others, then we make this determination, okay, I'm going to try to cherish others more and more and cherish myself less and less. Yeah. And then we think about that again and again. And then having made this certainty stable, you should familiarize yourself with it many times. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:44 Highlight the passage at 1:29:44

1:30:15 Because we have to remind ourselves again and again, right? I notice in my mind it's so easy to fall back into habitual patterns. It's like, you know, you feel really inspired and you have a lot of energy to help others. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:15 Highlight the passage at 1:30:15

1:30:29 And then I'm just tired and, you know, you just kind of fall back to, you know, laziness or whatever, you know, the habitual ways. So we just have to remember again and again to think about the faults of self-cherishing, the advantages of cherishing others. And then just make that, make that effort again and again. You know, it's like quitting smoking. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:29 Highlight the passage at 1:30:29

1:30:57 It's not easy. Right? We have to make that effort day after day, moment after moment. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:57 Highlight the passage at 1:30:57

1:31:07 Do we let the heart shut down or do we open the heart? It's much easier to let the heart shut down when somebody's accusing us or someone's mistreating us. It's much harder to just open the heart and love, have love and compassion for that person who's attacking us. To hurt us, right? So we have to remind ourselves again and again, open, open, open. And then gradually, right, eventually we'll be able to do it. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:07 Highlight the passage at 1:31:07

1:31:53 Sometimes it's also important that we have this self-cherishing. I just was thinking about me. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:53 Highlight the passage at 1:31:53

1:32:04 Who's this me? all right For example, I just work at least five and a half days a week and it's quite hard. So if I have my Sunday really for myself, just being, you know, without any engagement, I feel there's such a big difference when I start Monday with there's always new people coming and I have to work with new people. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:04 Highlight the passage at 1:32:04

1:32:34 So I just, there is another quality. And it's only because, I think so, I had this moment of self-cherishing myself as the most important person for me. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:34 Highlight the passage at 1:32:34

1:32:51 Yeah, I mean, that's a great point, right? So that's where we have to be really realistic, right, about where we are. Because, yeah, so... I don't know. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:51 Highlight the passage at 1:32:51

1:33:05 If you gave up your Sunday and worked for others and then you were exhausted on Monday and you're cranky and then you start snapping at others, that's not helpful for yourself and it's not helpful for others. So we have to, if we need to take that day off, then we take that day off, right? It's more beneficial for yourself and others. So it's not just self-cherishing, there's some wisdom there, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:33:05 Highlight the passage at 1:33:05

1:33:34 Because you're just going to burn out and you're going to be irritable. Well, maybe you won't, but I would be, you know, if I never took any time off. It's like, I mean, when I became a student of Lama Zopa Rinpoche, you know, he's Mr. Practice All Night Long, you know. And, you know, and I tried that. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:34 Highlight the passage at 1:33:34

1:33:55 And you know what? You don't want to be around me if I haven't gotten, you know, if I'm, you know, too sleep deprived, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:55 Highlight the passage at 1:33:55

1:34:05 Exactly. So he can do that because he's at that level where he doesn't need sleep, right? But I can't do that, you know. I can do it once in a while, you know, and try to stretch my limits, you know, and try to get less and less sleep. But, you know, I'm sorry, you know. Doing practice, you know, every night, all night long, I'm sorry, I would go crazy, you know, so I have to work within my limits, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:34:05 Highlight the passage at 1:34:05

1:34:36 And then just try to stretch those limits slowly, slowly, as best as I can. So that's maybe wise, wise taking time off, you know, taking your Sundays. And maybe eventually you won't need... To take Sundays off. But I think that's a hard one, right? We all need some time off, right, to get some R &R and rejuvenate. Report an error in the passage at 1:34:36 Highlight the passage at 1:34:36

1:35:05 Yeah, it gets pretty high along the path when you don't need that anymore. Report an error in the passage at 1:35:05 Highlight the passage at 1:35:05

1:35:20 So thinking about the advantages of cherishing others again and again in this way, you will generate strong enthusiasm to do so from the bottom of your hearts. Then you will not generate the mind neglecting others that has not yet arisen. And that which has arisen will not last long. By means of the thought that others are dear, pleasant and attractive, as far as it has arisen, you should generate the mind cherishing others just as you previously cherished yourself. Report an error in the passage at 1:35:20 Highlight the passage at 1:35:20

1:35:48 Okay, so that's pretty self-explanatory. So once again, remembering that we're trying to generate this mind, thinking that others are dear and precious and beloved, right? By remembering their kindness. Yeah, so we can do that right by thinking of all sentient beings as our mother or our best friends, our brothers and sisters, or just by remembering their kindness in all sorts of different ways. Report an error in the passage at 1:35:48 Highlight the passage at 1:35:48

1:36:21 So I don't think we have time to go into Tonglen, so we'll wait until next week to do that. But we have a few minutes. So the homework Report an error in the passage at 1:36:21 Highlight the passage at 1:36:21

1:36:39 for this next week. Is to try, we'll do the first four steps. Actually, I'm going to pass it out because I have it much more extensively on this sheet. Report an error in the passage at 1:36:39 Highlight the passage at 1:36:39

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:37:42 Is there enough? Report an error in the passage at 1:37:42 Highlight the passage at 1:37:42

1:37:49 So I thought, okay, so we've done a lot of meditations on trying to develop bodhicitta or love and compassion based on the other method, right? The sevenfold cause and effect. So this week... To try to spend at least a little bit of time every day trying to develop bodhicitta based on the equalizing and exchanging oneself with others. Report an error in the passage at 1:37:49 Highlight the passage at 1:37:49

1:38:10 So we only cover the first four steps, but if we've had Tonglen instructions in the past, then we can try to do the fifth one as well. So we can try to... Do all five steps every day or just one of the steps some days and all five steps other days. Just kind of play around with it. Report an error in the passage at 1:38:10 Highlight the passage at 1:38:10

1:38:33 Do what you can. So starting with, number one, equalizing oneself and others. So just meditating, visualizing all sentient beings around us and go one by one through each being, thinking just as I want to be happy. You know, this person also wants to be happy and doesn't want suffering. And this other person starting with, you know, Lama Tsongkhapa was saying starting with neutral beings and then friends and then difficult beings. Report an error in the passage at 1:38:33 Highlight the passage at 1:38:33

1:39:10 Sometimes I find it helpful to start with the close beings and then the neutral beings and then the difficult beings. But just, you know, once again meditate one by one, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:39:10 Highlight the passage at 1:39:10

1:39:25 One person or being at a time. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:25 Highlight the passage at 1:39:25

1:39:31 And then number two, contemplating the faults of self-cherishing. So as we talked about, you know, think that all unwanted circumstances and sufferings that I've experienced and continue to experience arise from negative karma that I've created from cherishing primarily myself. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:31 Highlight the passage at 1:39:31

1:39:51 Go through the various difficult circumstances you've experienced in this life, seeing if you can trace them to self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:51 Highlight the passage at 1:39:51

1:39:59 So that's a really good exercise, right? Just go, oh yeah, you know, my back problems. Oh, that's a result of my self-cherishing. Oh, my feelings of stress. Oh, that's self-cherishing. Oh, my beating myself up. Oh, that's self-cherishing. And I'll just go through the things that we've had difficulty with in our lives. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:59 Highlight the passage at 1:39:59

1:40:31 And see if we can trace that to self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:31 Highlight the passage at 1:40:31

1:40:38 So here, any illness or physical problems I've experienced is a result of harming others' bodies due to our self-cherishing. Being mistreated or disrespected by others is a result of having mistreated and disrespected others due to self-cherishing. Having financial difficulties is a result of miserliness or taking what was not given due to self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:38 Highlight the passage at 1:40:38

1:41:01 Having an unhappy state of mind is due to having disturbed others' minds in the past due to self-cherishing, etc. In addition, self-cherishing in the cause of all relationship problems, disharmony, conflict, fear, anxiety, depression, self-pity, etc. Report an error in the passage at 1:41:01 Highlight the passage at 1:41:01

1:41:22 Irritation, anger, resentment that I ever experience. So to really reflect on that. Report an error in the passage at 1:41:22 Highlight the passage at 1:41:22

1:41:33 Because it's so easy to blame others, right? When we're having difficulty with somebody, it's their fault, right? Much more difficult to really trace that back to our own self-chair. Report an error in the passage at 1:41:33 Highlight the passage at 1:41:33

1:41:46 And then number three, contemplating the good qualities of cherishing others. So we talked about that, we can read that ourselves. And then number four, actual exchanging of self and others. Report an error in the passage at 1:41:46 Highlight the passage at 1:41:46

1:42:00 You know, making the firm determination. To reduce our self-cherishing and cherish others more and more. Report an error in the passage at 1:42:00 Highlight the passage at 1:42:00

1:42:11 Noticing, right, using that inner spy to notice the self-cherishing thought when it arises and cut it off as much as we can, right? Not easy, but to cut it off as much as we can. Trying not to indulge these unconstructive thoughts, basically. Report an error in the passage at 1:42:11 Highlight the passage at 1:42:11

1:42:36 Okay, so that's the homework for this week. Is that realistic? Can we do that? Report an error in the passage at 1:42:36 Highlight the passage at 1:42:36

1:42:50 We'll dedicate with Shantideva again, page 246. Report an error in the passage at 1:42:50 Highlight the passage at 1:42:50

1:43:15 May all beings everywhere, plagued by sufferings of body and mind, obtain an ocean of happiness and joy by virtue of my merits. May no living creature suffer, commit evil or ever fall ill. May no one be afraid or belittled with a mind weighed down by depression. May the blind see forms and the deaf hear sounds. May those whose bodies are worn with toil be restored on finding repose. Report an error in the passage at 1:43:15 Highlight the passage at 1:43:15

1:43:43 May the naked find clothing, the hungry find food. May the thirsty find water and delicious drinks. May the poor find wealth, those weak with sorrow find joy. May the forlorn find hope, constant happiness and prosperity. May there be timely rains and bountiful harvests. May all medicines be effective and wholesome prayers bear fruit. May all who are sick and ill quickly be freed from their ailments. Report an error in the passage at 1:43:43 Highlight the passage at 1:43:43

1:44:12 Whatever diseases there are in the world, may they never occur again. May the frightened cease to be afraid and those bound be freed. May the powerless find power and may people think of benefiting each other. For as long as space remains, for as long as sentient beings remain, until then may I too remain, to dispel the miseries of the world. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:12 Highlight the passage at 1:44:12

1:44:39 Maybe we can also dedicate for Shane's good health. So, I don't know, I haven't heard from Shane in the last few days, but he's been in and out of the hospital and the emergency room. He has diabetes. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:39 Highlight the passage at 1:44:39

1:44:57 And it's been under control, but then it's, you know, it's gotten unstable. So, so he's, he's last, you know, last week he emailed me saying, oh, I was just in the emergency room again, you know, the week before he had emailed me. So, so we can keep Shane in our prayers and, you know, all beings, extending that to all beings who are suffering in any way. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:57 Highlight the passage at 1:44:57

1:45:24 And Report an error in the passage at 1:45:24 Highlight the passage at 1:45:24

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:46:07 have a good week. So Chodron Rinpoche this weekend. You know, the Gui Samaja empowerment, and if you don't want to take the empowerment, then at least, you know, Friday night is open for people to take blessings. Report an error in the passage at 1:46:07 Highlight the passage at 1:46:07

1:46:26 I'm calling Lewis to see if he's going to begin. Report an error in the passage at 1:46:26 Highlight the passage at 1:46:26

1:46:48 There's a ride right here if anybody needs one. I might be taking a Report an error in the passage at 1:46:48 Highlight the passage at 1:46:48

1:46:34 direction know what I mean you're going going down and I'm going up my head that's true Report an error in the passage at 1:46:34 Highlight the passage at 1:46:34

1:46:46 you lost your ride. I know. Report an error in the passage at 1:46:46 Highlight the passage at 1:46:46

1:46:53 Are you sure if that's okay for you? Thank you very much. Effie, it's like five blocks away. Well, I hope to be walking it very soon, but I am not there yet. I'm being realistic. Okay. And Peter, Peter, you can have a ride. Report an error in the passage at 1:46:53 Highlight the passage at 1:46:53

1:47:18 Okay. My car's a little messy, but... We've just learned not to have judgment. Okay. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:18 Highlight the passage at 1:47:18

1:47:54 Okay, sure. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:54 Highlight the passage at 1:47:54

1:48:02 Okay and I'll give it to him. Thank you so much. Report an error in the passage at 1:48:02 Highlight the passage at 1:48:02

1:48:03 Okay. Yes. Offering. Offering, donation. Okay, I'm not sure if he's going to be able to do it this week. Report an error in the passage at 1:48:03 Highlight the passage at 1:48:03

1:48:23 I was very impatient when Report an error in the passage at 1:48:23 Highlight the passage at 1:48:23

1:48:30 I'm working again. I know, I'm like that. you just punch it a bunch it only works for what two minutes at a time you can't do it too much think there's like a minimum but there's not a nice they say it won't help you get on a certain map but it doesn't work Report an error in the passage at 1:48:30 Highlight the passage at 1:48:30

1:49:04 don't have to keep track of it. It doesn't matter. Report an error in the passage at 1:49:04 Highlight the passage at 1:49:04

1:49:28 I'm not keen on taking extra empowerment. I've taken enough and I'm only going to take empowerment. Actually, why don't we do the screen now because it's sort of blocking. So that little hook. Report an error in the passage at 1:49:28 Highlight the passage at 1:49:28

1:49:52 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Report an error in the passage at 1:49:52 Highlight the passage at 1:49:52

1:50:03 one side is this side, and that side is a little hole. Report an error in the passage at 1:50:03 Highlight the passage at 1:50:03

1:50:09 Yeah, I mean, it's very much a personal decision. yeah, no. I see very little scrap of paper. Report an error in the passage at 1:50:09 Highlight the passage at 1:50:09

1:50:21 when I'm in Santa Cruz, look for me. They'll come together, because I'll be both becoming, and then it'll only have as much terribleness that that you're you've creating. created. Right. Thank Report an error in the passage at 1:50:21 Highlight the passage at 1:50:21

1:50:36 you so much, Emily, for helping me, because it's a hard time, everybody's so good. Yeah, it's true. Report an error in the passage at 1:50:36 Highlight the passage at 1:50:36

1:50:46 Well, it was your good karma. I mean, it was actually, you know, so funny because he was, this monk, he lives at Land and Medicine Buddha, but he was here, I ran into him, he was making tormas for Kishidangpo. It's amazing that he can do it in the camera and it's perfect. Report an error in the passage at 1:50:46 Highlight the passage at 1:50:46

1:50:58 One day, a couple of weeks ago, and he's just, he doesn't speak a lot of English, but I just asked him, you know, would you be willing to fill his stash? Report an error in the passage at 1:50:58 Highlight the passage at 1:50:58

1:51:10 Tibetan? No. But he understood enough English, you know, and he said, yeah, yes, you know. So, you know, I don't know how busy it is, but, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:51:10 Highlight the passage at 1:51:10

1:51:27 I appreciate it. I'm glad that we finally found someone. It almost seemed like we were going to be able to do it now. you have to wait, but, yeah. Great, thank you. Report an error in the passage at 1:51:27 Highlight the passage at 1:51:27