Mahayana Mind Transformation (19 July 2007)

0:03 Yes, yeah, it's a bit stuffy in here. Report an error in the passage at 0:03 Highlight the passage at 0:03

0:20 But yeah, you can open the doors a little bit as well, whatever you like. Report an error in the passage at 0:20 Highlight the passage at 0:20

0:38 So just a reminder that our happiness, our suffering actually comes primarily from the two inner enemies, the self-grasping mind, grasping at a solidly independently existing self, which we'll get into. Much more at the end of this text, we're getting into emptiness at the end of this text. And the self-cherishing mind that cherishes ourselves as more important than others, that is always looking out for our own happiness. Report an error in the passage at 0:38 Highlight the passage at 0:38

1:14 And sometimes we're looking out for others' happiness, but primarily we're looking out for our own happiness. So the problems, our problems don't really come from the outside. The problem isn't... That annoying person at work or the different external things that are happening. Report an error in the passage at 1:14 Highlight the passage at 1:14

1:38 Primarily the cause of our suffering is our own conceptual minds. Misconceiving reality and then cherishing ourselves is more important than others. Report an error in the passage at 1:38 Highlight the passage at 1:38

1:53 So true lasting happiness comes from cherishing others. And we see this in bodhisattvas who are again and again, they're focused on the welfare of others and therefore they don't have the fear and the anxiety and the suffering that we experience because with our self-cherishing minds we're always protecting our own happiness. Report an error in the passage at 1:53 Highlight the passage at 1:53

2:17 We're protecting our comfort, we're protecting our pleasure. We're trying to create this kind of little world where we're safe and happy. Report an error in the passage at 2:17 Highlight the passage at 2:17

2:27 And because we're in saṃsāra, things will always come up that we don't want. Again and again, we'll get those things that we don't want. Again and again, we will not get what we do want. Our bodies will die. Our bodies will get sick. Report an error in the passage at 2:27 Highlight the passage at 2:27

2:48 Other people won't always be nice to us. Report an error in the passage at 2:48 Highlight the passage at 2:48

2:54 And so that brings up a lot of suffering for us now. But since bodhisattvas aren't concerned with their own... Happiness, then they're not bothered when things happen on the outside. They're only focused on the happiness of others. Report an error in the passage at 2:54 Highlight the passage at 2:54

3:14 So therefore, bodhicitta is an extremely courageous mind, willing to take on any type of situation in order to benefit others. Report an error in the passage at 3:14 Highlight the passage at 3:14

3:25 And then we see that in the Lama Zopa Rinpoche's of the world, who kind of are another plane of existence. Report an error in the passage at 3:25 Highlight the passage at 3:25

3:42 Who have so much love and compassion for others that they're constantly doing things to benefit others. Report an error in the passage at 3:42 Highlight the passage at 3:42

4:00 So Lama Zopa Rinpoche barely sleeps, right? The rumor has it he doesn't sleep at all because he's constantly working for the welfare of sentient beings. Okay, so that's the key to happiness is letting go of our self-cherishing mind more and more and letting go of our Report an error in the passage at 4:00 Highlight the passage at 4:00

4:23 So that's what this text is primarily about. Do you have a question, Anna? Report an error in the passage at 4:23 Highlight the passage at 4:23

4:33 Where it says that bodhisattvas willingly take on the suffering of others, is that Tonglen that you're referring to? Yeah, primarily. I mean, yeah, bodhisattvas do Tonglen. But also, I mean, bodhisattvas are willing to do whatever it takes to benefit others. So if it brings on suffering. Or difficult situations, it doesn't matter. Like Lama Zopa Rinpoche has this Maitreya project, huge project which will cost, I don't know how much money, $250 million. Report an error in the passage at 4:33 Highlight the passage at 4:33

5:10 And there's obstacle after obstacle after obstacle. And, you know, he just keeps forging on. Report an error in the passage at 5:10 Highlight the passage at 5:10

5:23 Oh, well, I'm thinking about in terms of just taking on suffering, you know, difficult situations. Yeah. But then taking on the suffering of others is usually Tonglen. Report an error in the passage at 5:23 Highlight the passage at 5:23

5:42 But the Soffitt's experience with bodhicitta, that's not the only thing that makes them happy. My assumption is also the understanding of emptiness, the realization of emptiness, as well as being in the moment, not being attached to the past or concerned about the future being in the now. Report an error in the passage at 5:42 Highlight the passage at 5:42

6:01 I mean, it's a combination of all those, no? Yeah, yeah. I mean, definitely the... The understanding of emptiness and bodhicitta, they support each other. The more we understand emptiness, the more we're able to develop bodhicitta and the more bodhicitta we have, the less grasping we have at ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 6:01 Highlight the passage at 6:01

6:30 So bodhicitta and the understanding of emptiness support each other. But they seem to be in the moment. I mean, we're so preoccupied with what happened just a moment ago, what's going to happen tomorrow, that we can't be in the moment and enjoy the moment and be happy now. You know, be here now, this now. But they can. I mean, it's amazing how they're here and they're happy. You know, no worries. Report an error in the passage at 6:30 Highlight the passage at 6:30

6:57 Yeah, and that's all part of the path, right? Letting go of our grasping at needing things to be different, our grasping at the past and the future. And so in the Lamrim, we train our minds to let go, to develop renunciation and let go and let go and let go. And so actually we can't develop bodhicitta until we've developed renunciation. So that's part of the path. So renunciation is renouncing our attachment to happiness. Report an error in the passage at 6:57 Highlight the passage at 6:57

7:30 In saṃsāra. The giving up the belief that we can really have lasting happiness in saṃsāra. And then bodhicitta is turning that on, the perspective to all sentient beings. I can't even talk this evening. And realizing that all sentient beings are in the same boat. and so then Determining that I will attain complete enlightenment so that I can benefit all sentient beings because I won't be happy with just my own individual liberation. Report an error in the passage at 7:30 Highlight the passage at 7:30

8:19 So we went through this verse last time. Since that's the way it is, I seize the enemy. I seize the thief who ambushed and deceived me, the hypocrite who deceived me disguised as myself. Aha, it is ego clinging without a doubt. So this was the end of that section. In the text that talked about what those particular problems are that we're experiencing in our lives, what the karmic causes were, and then what the solutions are. Report an error in the passage at 8:19 Highlight the passage at 8:19

8:50 And all of those problems that were listed in this text have as their root, the self-grasping and the self-cherishing minds. So this verse 49. Is saying, okay, now I see what the enemy is. The enemy is the self-grasping and the self-cherishing minds. So now I want to seize that enemy and get rid of it. Report an error in the passage at 8:50 Highlight the passage at 8:50

9:22 It's a hypocrite who deceived me disguised as myself. So we talked about this last time as the self-cherishing mind again and again is... Report an error in the passage at 9:22 Highlight the passage at 9:22

9:35 Is kind of stealthily stealing away our happiness. And the self-cherishing mind kind of disguises itself as being concerned about our welfare. When in fact our self-cherishing mind is taking away our happiness. So this is that mind that's constantly thinking, well what about me? I need to take care of me first. Report an error in the passage at 9:35 Highlight the passage at 9:35

10:07 I need to be happy and the other's happiness is not that important. Report an error in the passage at 10:07 Highlight the passage at 10:07

10:15 So that mind seems to be a beneficial mind. It's watching out for our happiness. But because we're focused on our own happiness as more important than others, then we're disturbed when we don't get what we want. We're disturbed again and again. We feel fearful. full of suffering. We feel fearful of war. We feel fearful. This country has been going through a very fear-oriented period. Report an error in the passage at 10:15 Highlight the passage at 10:15

11:11 So verse 50. Now, O Yamantaka, raise the weapon of action and spin it furiously over your head three times. Spread far apart your feet, which are the two truths. Open wide your eyes of method and wisdom and bare your fangs of the four powers and pierce the enemy. So here, Dharma Raksida, the author of our text, is summoning Yamantaka, who is the wrathful aspect of Manjushri, the deity of wisdom. Report an error in the passage at 11:11 Highlight the passage at 11:11

11:45 And asking us to, or asking Yamantaka to raise the weapon of action, etc. So spread apart your feet, which are the two truths. Report an error in the passage at 11:45 Highlight the passage at 11:45

12:05 So the two feet, does everybody know what Yamantaka looks like? Kind of, sort of. He looks very fierce. Yeah, lots of fire. Maybe I'll pass this around. Just so people have an idea. Now the Lord of Death is Yama. Yama. Yamantaka, the symbolic meaning of Yamantaka is a direct realization of emptiness. So by practicing Yamantaka, it helps us to develop wisdom. Report an error in the passage at 12:05 Highlight the passage at 12:05

12:44 It helps us to realize emptiness. Report an error in the passage at 12:44 Highlight the passage at 12:44

12:52 So that's Yamantaka. I'll pass it around. Report an error in the passage at 12:52 Highlight the passage at 12:52

13:07 Where do these deities originate? How did they originate from? Well, all of the deities are said to be aspects of the Buddha, you know, aspect of Buddhas. And they all have particular functions, right? Because sentient beings, there's so many different types of minds of sentient beings, so many dispositions of minds of sentient beings. Report an error in the passage at 13:07 Highlight the passage at 13:07

13:39 And so there are different deities. For the different types of people, right? So there's a deity of compassion, there's a deity of wisdom, and then there are wrathful deities and peaceful deities because some of us need more wrathful means and peaceful deities. And so the original deity is Vajradhara. My gosh, it's slipping my mind. Report an error in the passage at 13:39 Highlight the passage at 13:39

14:09 Vajradhara and then all of the other deities are said to be aspects of Vajradhara. Report an error in the passage at 14:09 Highlight the passage at 14:09

14:16 And so they're manifestations, basically manifestations of Buddhas. And it's said that when you practice Tantra, you can actually see the deities. Right now, we just see pictures of them. But if we keep practicing, then eventually we can actually see them firsthand. Report an error in the passage at 14:16 Highlight the passage at 14:16

14:48 So here, Dharma Rakshita says, raise the weapon of action and spin it furiously over your head three times. So raise the weapon of karma. And then spread apart your two feet. And so Yamataka's two feet represent the two truths, conventional truth and ultimate truth. So each of the deities, everything, every part of their bodies, every implement, they all symbolize something. Report an error in the passage at 14:48 Highlight the passage at 14:48

15:22 It's not just some... Everything means something. So for Yamantaka, the two feet represent conventional truth and ultimate truth. Ultimate truth being emptiness and conventional truth being the conventional reality. Report an error in the passage at 15:22 Highlight the passage at 15:22

15:40 The two eyes of Yamantaka symbolize the two bodhicittas, conventional bodhicitta and ultimate bodhicitta. So conventional bodhicitta is the spontaneous desire to achieve enlightenment for the welfare of others. All sentient beings. It's when that arises spontaneously. Like currently what most of us are doing are trying to develop contrived bodhicitta. Report an error in the passage at 15:40 Highlight the passage at 15:40

16:08 Again and again trying to meditate on the kindness of others and how all sentient beings want happiness just like we do, etc. And we meditate on that again and again and we develop contrived bodhicitta. And then over time eventually... That bodhicitta will just arise spontaneously without having to do that analysis. So that's conventional bodhicitta. Report an error in the passage at 16:08 Highlight the passage at 16:08

16:36 And then ultimate bodhicitta is the direct realization of emptiness. Report an error in the passage at 16:36 Highlight the passage at 16:36

16:43 And then the four fangs of Yamantaka symbolize the four opponent powers. And we talked about those last time. Does anybody remember what those are? Report an error in the passage at 16:43 Highlight the passage at 16:43

16:57 With the microphone? Report an error in the passage at 16:57 Highlight the passage at 16:57

17:02 Let's see. I might not get the right order, but refuge, regret, remedy, and resolve, regret, bad karma, resolving not to do it again, refuge in the three jewels, and remedy, which might be a mantra or some virtuous activity. Report an error in the passage at 17:02 Highlight the passage at 17:02

17:33 Did everybody hear that? Report an error in the passage at 17:33 Highlight the passage at 17:33

17:40 Okay. so it's the... It's the two bodhicittas, the conventional bodhicitta and the ultimate bodhicitta, that are the main antidotes to our two inner enemies, the self-cherishing mind and the self-grasping mind. So the self-grasping mind, the self-grasping ignorance, the main antidote for that is ultimate bodhicitta, the direct realization of emptiness. Report an error in the passage at 17:40 Highlight the passage at 17:40

18:09 So the direct realization of emptiness will counteract the self-grasping mind. And then conventional bodhicitta, the desire to achieve enlightenment for the welfare of all sentient beings, is the antidote for the self-cherishing mind. Report an error in the passage at 18:09 Highlight the passage at 18:09

18:33 O king of spells who torments the enemy, summon that vow breaker who is destroying me and others, that savage called ego clinging, the enchanter, who brandishing the weapon of action runs uncontrollably through the jungle of cyclic existence. So these next few verses are just talking to Yamataka, asking Yamataka again and again to help us destroy the two enemies, help us destroy our self-grasping and our self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 18:33 Highlight the passage at 18:33

19:09 So who Report an error in the passage at 19:09 Highlight the passage at 19:09

19:16 torments the enemy, summon that vow breaker who is destroying me and others. So this is just reminding us that the self-cherishing, the self-grasping. Are the cause of us breaking our vows and continue to destroy our future happiness. And brandishing the weapon of action runs uncontrollably through the jungle of a cyclic existence. Report an error in the passage at 19:16 Highlight the passage at 19:16

19:39 And this is just reminding us, again, that self-cherishing, self-grasping are constantly arising in our minds, uncontrollably arising in our minds again and again. And causing us, and it's because of those two that we keep cycling. I'm circling encyclic existence, right? We keep creating negative karma and we keep getting reborn again and again. Report an error in the passage at 19:39 Highlight the passage at 19:39

20:11 Column, column, wrathful Yamantaka, beat him, beat him. Pierce the heart of the enemy, ego. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy, the ego. So again and again. So the column, column, beat him, beat him. Notice that there are these kind of... Report an error in the passage at 20:11 Highlight the passage at 20:11

20:33 These are in twos, and that's again reminding us that they're the two inner enemies, the self-grasping and the self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 20:33 Highlight the passage at 20:33

20:44 Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. So false construction generally refers to... Our conceptual minds are false conceptual minds. So the self-grasping mind is an ignorant mind and it's a conceptual mind misconceiving the nature of reality. So thinking that things exist in a way they don't actually exist. Report an error in the passage at 20:44 Highlight the passage at 20:44

21:16 And also the self-cherishing mind is a conceptual mind as well. Report an error in the passage at 21:16 Highlight the passage at 21:16

21:29 Oh great tutelary deity. Produce your miraculous apparitions. Za, za, bind the enemy tightly. Pe, pe, I beseech you to release me from all fetters. Sik, sik, I beseech you to cut the knot of clinging. Okay. So then again and again. So whom is the seed syllable for Yamantaka? And in this case, the first whom represents conventional bodhicitta and the second. Report an error in the passage at 21:29 Highlight the passage at 21:29

22:03 Whom represents ultimate bodhicitta. So here we are with Report an error in the passage at 22:03 Highlight the passage at 22:03

22:12 Zaza, an imperative request for the deities to approach. So it's summoning Yamataka to approach. Please entice them with conventional and ultimate bodhicitta. Bind them and never set them free. So we're asking the deities to help us develop conventional bodhicitta so that we can bind our two inner enemies. Report an error in the passage at 22:12 Highlight the passage at 22:12

22:39 And never set them free. And then Pei Pei and Siksik represents destroying the enemies, annihilating them and freeing us from the self-cherishing and self-grasping minds. Report an error in the passage at 22:39 Highlight the passage at 22:39

23:00 Then verse 54, approach. Great tutelary deity Yamantaka, I beseech you at this very moment to rip to shreds this leather sack of actions and the five poisonous afflictions that mire me in the mud of worldly action. So this is reminding us of the cause of suffering. So in the Four Noble Truths, there's the true sufferings, the true origins, the true cessations and the true paths. Report an error in the passage at 23:00 Highlight the passage at 23:00

23:26 And the true origins are karma and afflictions. So the origins of our suffering are the karma and our mental afflictions. Because of our mental afflictions, we suffer and we create karma for future suffering. So again and again we're constantly creating the causes of suffering because we have afflictions and then plus we encounter suffering from the ripening of our previous negative karma. Report an error in the passage at 23:26 Highlight the passage at 23:26

24:02 So all of our illness is a result of our previous negative karma. All of the difficult situations that happen to us are a result of our previous negative karma. Report an error in the passage at 24:02 Highlight the passage at 24:02

24:19 And in this context, the five poisonous afflictions, they're talking about ignorance, attachment, anger, jealousy and pride. Report an error in the passage at 24:19 Highlight the passage at 24:19

24:30 There are different lists of the afflictions, but the list of five are those five. Report an error in the passage at 24:30 Highlight the passage at 24:30

24:49 Although it has brought me suffering in this... Okay, so the next bunch of verses in this text help us understand how bad the self-cherishing and the self-grasping mind is. It's helping us see all of these situations that arise that are a result of our self-cherishing and our self-grasping. Report an error in the passage at 24:49 Highlight the passage at 24:49

25:12 So the next bunch of verses we'll be talking about, particularly, mostly actually the self-cherishing mind, and then the end of the text we'll be talking more about the self-grasping ignorance. Report an error in the passage at 25:12 Highlight the passage at 25:12

25:26 So although it has brought me suffering in the three wretched states of existence, not knowing enough to fear it, I rush to its cause. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy ego. So it's our self-cherishing mind that has brought us suffering in the three lower realms again and again. So the hell realm, the hungry ghost realm, and the animal realm. Report an error in the passage at 25:26 Highlight the passage at 25:26

25:54 Because of our self-cherishing mind, we keep creating the causes to be reborn in the lower realms. So because of our self-cherishing mind, we have anger. Maybe we kill insects. Report an error in the passage at 25:54 Highlight the passage at 25:54

26:11 We generate, we have miserliness. All of these things are helping, are creating the causes for lower rebirths. Saying harsh words. Yeah. Hannah, the microphone is right in front of you. It says three wretched states of existence. Why wasn't the human state of existence part of the wretched state? Report an error in the passage at 26:11 Highlight the passage at 26:11

26:42 Well, the human realm is a suffering realm. All of the realms within cyclic existence are suffering realms. But the human realm isn't considered one of the three lower realms where the suffering is so intense that you can't even practice the Dharma. Report an error in the passage at 26:42 Highlight the passage at 26:42

27:07 And then not knowing enough to fear it, I rush to its cause, right? So we don't know enough to fear the self-cherishing mind, or actually to fear the lower realms, and so we constantly create the causes for the lower realms again and again. Right, because most of us don't really believe, don't truly believe that we'll be reborn in the hell realms or the hungry ghosts. Report an error in the passage at 27:07 Highlight the passage at 27:07

27:33 I mean, we don't even want to think about it, right? The suffering. It's just too unpleasant to think about. And so we like to think, okay, we'll be reborn as a human being again with the same kind of circumstances that we have now. We'll meet the Dharma again in our future lives and we'll live in a peaceful country. And this may not happen, right? Report an error in the passage at 27:33 Highlight the passage at 27:33

27:57 This may or may not happen. If we continue to practice and we continue to purify and... Keep our vows and practice the ten virtues. Then we're creating the causes to be reborn as a human again. But if we're not good at keeping our vows, if we're not practicing well, if we're not purifying, then we don't know where we're going to be reborn in the future. Report an error in the passage at 27:57 Highlight the passage at 27:57

28:28 So we need to keep practicing. Report an error in the passage at 28:28 Highlight the passage at 28:28

28:43 It's also important in the lamrim, There's a series of meditations on meditating on the suffering of the lower realms. Most of us have resistance to doing those meditations, but they're really important to help us develop renunciation. We can't just skip over some of the topics in the lamrim and have the same result. In order to really develop renunciation and really... Report an error in the passage at 28:43 Highlight the passage at 28:43

29:17 Really put forth our greatest effort in practicing. We need to really realize that we can be reborn there. We can undergo this horrible, horrible suffering. We have created the causes for that. Not to make us feel bad about ourselves or to feel paralyzed with fear, but to induce us to practice more. So enough fear to help us develop renunciation and to practice more, but not to be paralyzed by fear. Report an error in the passage at 29:17 Highlight the passage at 29:17

30:02 I personally don't think, for me, it's going to be fear that's going to motivate me. I mean, maybe I see it differently. Report an error in the passage at 30:02 Highlight the passage at 30:02

30:15 It's like I would be tired. Report an error in the passage at 30:15 Highlight the passage at 30:15

30:24 I mean, I would do negative things in negative hell realms and then get out of that and do positive things in positive realms and blah, blah, blah, and you're just tired of it all. plain and simply tired know it's not fear I mean I've seen hell a lot sure have no choice but it's just plain tired of dealing with life the way it is that I'm afraid of going to the hell realms because I've obviously been there many times before and I can manage it again I'm We've all Report an error in the passage at 30:24 Highlight the passage at 30:24

31:02 experienced the hell realms before. And we can intellectually think about that. But it's a whole other thing to actually imagine being like someone actually sawing our body into pieces and thinking that may actually happen to me again. Report an error in the passage at 31:02 Highlight the passage at 31:02

31:32 And so because we're not experiencing it now and it's merely intellectual, we think, okay, well, we've done it a lot before and it'll happen again. Report an error in the passage at 31:32 Highlight the passage at 31:32

31:44 But it's a whole other experience. I think fever is not a motivating thing. Being tired of living in this life and the same thing over and over and over and over and over again is enough to say, hey, get off the vicious cycle. If that's enough to give you renunciation, then that's great. I'm not sure if it is. I'm not sure if it is. Report an error in the passage at 31:44 Highlight the passage at 31:44

32:23 Because I think that sometimes we... We need a bit of fear to motivate us. I don't want to get cancer, so because I fear cancer, I try to eat right. Report an error in the passage at 32:23 Highlight the passage at 32:23

32:40 Or I don't want to get in a car accident, so I try to drive safely. So it's that kind of fear where we don't want to experience that suffering, so we're more careful. But that's like the anti-approach, you know, like in wellness. You look at the line, you know, I've got this line, you've got this thing right in the middle. Anything to the left of that is illness, but anything to the right of that is wellness. Report an error in the passage at 32:40 Highlight the passage at 32:40

33:03 And there's varying different degrees in both ways, but I don't look at going towards wellness as being an anti-illness kind of thing. I'm going towards the positive. You know, to do the positive things, to eat the right things, to do the exercise. It's not like that I want to do it to keep, yeah, of course I don't want cancer, but it's to have a more of a positive state of life. Report an error in the passage at 33:03 Highlight the passage at 33:03

33:26 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean. And I'm thinking that we need a bit of both, you know, like the carrot and stick. We need to understand that, you know, the benefits of enlightenment and all of that. But also if there's nothing, if we're, if... If we don't think that we're going to experience suffering again and again, then maybe it won't be enough to propel us to do all of the practices and to give up some of our, you know, undergo the hardships and give up some of our pleasures to actually attain enlightenment. Report an error in the passage at 33:26 Highlight the passage at 33:26

34:02 But that's just my thinking. But I think it is healthy to not be... Report an error in the passage at 34:02 Highlight the passage at 34:02

34:15 Yeah. I mean, often... I do think the way that Betty was saying, you know, but I think that's for me because we usually don't want to really look at fear very much, I think. You know, really kind of sink into that feeling a little bit because when I have done that meditation, it kind of puts... Literally a fire under you, you know what I mean? You feel like this is my chance because if I go there, not only am I going to be unhappy there, I'm going to, you know, just create more and more negative karma. Report an error in the passage at 34:15 Highlight the passage at 34:15

35:00 And so I kind of, you know, like you said, I resist those meditations, but it is a motivator. I mean, I think it does make you, you know. Try to just stick with the process more. Not kind of, well, I might have this life again. And I've been there before. Because I've had that thought too. Well, I've been there before. But when I'm thinking that, I'm not, like you said, present in that moment. Report an error in the passage at 35:00 Highlight the passage at 35:00

35:36 But obviously just blocked it out. Probably because it was so horrible. Anyway. So I think it's worth doing, even if it... Doesn't seem like it would be a motivator just once in a while, throw it in there. Yeah, in my personal experience, doing those meditations is extremely powerful. Like, I could undergo this kind of suffering and that could start tomorrow, right? Report an error in the passage at 35:36 Highlight the passage at 35:36

36:08 That could start in the next moment, right? My current comfortable life, our self-cherishing mind wants to think that we have plenty of time to practice. So we do practice because we know that there's no lasting happiness in saṃsāra. But the thing that lights the fire under us is realizing that we can die. Report an error in the passage at 36:08 Highlight the passage at 36:08

36:35 In the next moment, and we can have a suffering existence in the next moment. And we may not have the Dharma. We may be so overwhelmed by our suffering that we can't practice. Report an error in the passage at 36:35 Highlight the passage at 36:35

36:47 And so that encourages us to practice now and not put it off until next week. Or, well, you know, I'm really busy right now, but in five years I'll have more time to meditate. I mean, that's what we typically do, right? Report an error in the passage at 36:47 Highlight the passage at 36:47

37:05 So these unpleasant meditations on death in the lower realms do really help. But our self-cherishing mind resists doing them because it's not pleasant. Report an error in the passage at 37:05 Highlight the passage at 37:05

37:21 Jay? Well, I was just going to say that Pavonka Rinpoche used to say, or says in Liberation, that the hell realms, it may seem like to us there's some sort of conceptual large geographic distance, but instead it's... It's one breath. That's what separates us from that. Which is one very specific phrase that always makes me feel like practicing, definitely. Report an error in the passage at 37:21 Highlight the passage at 37:21

37:47 And I don't know that thinking of this sort of bountiful kind of goodness that I can't really conceive of really has that same effect on me at this point. And also, I might like to think that maybe my mother, my own personal mother, that I could somehow through my practice... Bring happiness, you know, into her mind stream. But I really, really feel motivated when I think of her going to one of the hell realms. Report an error in the passage at 37:47 Highlight the passage at 37:47

38:18 You know, trying to use that mother thing. And so it is a really potent motivation. I think that it looks really ugly to the Western mind because it sort of feels like beating yourself up, you know. Just like you said, it's really easy to do that. I think it's such powerful motivation, it really is. It makes you think, oh my gosh, I have to do something right now. Report an error in the passage at 38:18 Highlight the passage at 38:18

38:37 And there's not a lot of really good things that make me think that, unfortunately. Yeah, yeah. And it's also so powerful for compassion, to imagine that there are countless beings who are undergoing that suffering right now. Report an error in the passage at 38:37 Highlight the passage at 38:37

38:57 Because sometimes, you know, when we live, well, I mean, you're in the hospital, so you see really gross suffering a lot. But in my life, you know, living up in Marin, there's not a lot of gross suffering happening up there. And so I need to do these meditations for developing that compassion. Shall Report an error in the passage at 38:57 Highlight the passage at 38:57

39:18 we move on, or Anna, you have something? I'm Report an error in the passage at 39:18 Highlight the passage at 39:18

39:26 just thinking maybe that's Betty's situation, that since she sees so much of that in her daily life, I mean, that's probably your meditation on the fear and the pain, that you see it and you say, well, I don't want it. Report an error in the passage at 39:26 Highlight the passage at 39:26

39:47 Well, yeah, just last week there was a 41-year-old that died and she left behind five children, ranging in age from 11 to 5. And that was my job was to go and support the family at this time of death and the husband and everything. And, you know, just allowing them to experience what they experience, you know, not to put any, you know, barriers up to it or, you know, any, you know, they need to experience, but making it a safe environment. Report an error in the passage at 39:47 Highlight the passage at 39:47

40:13 But, yeah. Paulette and I both deal with a hell of a lot of suffering, literally a hell of a lot of suffering. We really do. Actually, I kind of like doing the lighter side of stuff. Right. Sure. Understandable. Okay. Right. Okay. So we'll move on. Report an error in the passage at 40:13 Highlight the passage at 40:13

40:36 So verse 56. Although my desire for comfort is great, I don't accumulate its causes. Although my tolerance for suffering is small, My desire and greed are great. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy ego. Report an error in the passage at 40:36 Highlight the passage at 40:36

40:58 So although my desire for comfort is great, I don't accumulate its causes. So although we want to have a comfortable home, we want to have wealth, we want a good job, all these things, because of our self-cherishing mind, We don't accumulate the causes. We tend to enjoy our current comfort, but to create the causes we need to practice a lot of generosity. Report an error in the passage at 40:58 Highlight the passage at 40:58

41:30 We need to practice keeping our vows. We need to practice the ten virtues. We need to do a lot of practice, actually, so that we can have a comfortable life in the future. Report an error in the passage at 41:30 Highlight the passage at 41:30

41:43 So the cause... The main cause of having a human rebirth is ethical conduct or proper moral conduct. So we need to be really careful about that. And then on top of moral conduct, we need to practice these other things, generosity, etc., so that we can have comfortable life in the future. Report an error in the passage at 41:43 Highlight the passage at 41:43

42:08 And the reason that we have laziness is because of our self-cherishing mind. Report an error in the passage at 42:08 Highlight the passage at 42:08

42:23 And although my tolerance for suffering is small, my desire and greed are great. So along the path, the teachings encourage us again and again to voluntarily undergo hardships for the Dharma, for our own spiritual progress. So if we're always avoiding suffering, if we're not, Wanting to undergo hardships, if we're not willing to give up our good night's sleep in order to practice these types of things, then we won't make much spiritual progress. Report an error in the passage at 42:23 Highlight the passage at 42:23

43:10 And our fear of suffering and our avoidance of suffering, once again, is because of our self-cherishing mind. Report an error in the passage at 43:10 Highlight the passage at 43:10

43:23 And then my desire and greed are great, right? So we're constantly wanting to make spiritual progress. We're constantly wanting the good things in life. Report an error in the passage at 43:23 Highlight the passage at 43:23

43:33 But we're not willing to undergo hardships to get them. Report an error in the passage at 43:33 Highlight the passage at 43:33

43:43 And that's because of our self-cherishing mind. Report an error in the passage at 43:43 Highlight the passage at 43:43

43:59 Do you guys need a break? Or shall we do another verse? We'll do another verse. Okay. Report an error in the passage at 43:59 Highlight the passage at 43:59

44:20 I mean, just on the topic of undergoing hardships, like, for example, the Vajrasapha retreat, if people have done the three-month Vajrasapha retreat, you see that... Report an error in the passage at 44:20 Highlight the passage at 44:20

44:35 When people do that, a lot of suffering arises. Because what you're doing is you're purifying and what happens is that when you purify, you're often bringing forth the negative karma to ripen more quickly in a greatly reduced manner. So instead of going to hell for... An eon, maybe it will ripen in terms of having a fever for a week or something like that. So usually when people do Vajrasapha retreat, they're undergoing a lot of hardships. Report an error in the passage at 44:35 Highlight the passage at 44:35

45:17 People are constantly getting sick. For me, I don't know if I've told you the story of my Vajrasapha experience. It was in the monsoon season in Dharamsalas. It was constantly raining. Everything is moldy. There's just Report an error in the passage at 45:17 Highlight the passage at 45:17

45:35 In Vajrasattva? Well, basically you're doing four sessions of the Vajrasattva a day, so four, like, two-hour sessions. And you're reciting the mantra for, you know, 100,000 times. Report an error in the passage at 45:35 Highlight the passage at 45:35

45:48 And you're applying the four opponent powers. So you're going through and you're thinking about all of the negativities that you've created that you can think of in life. So that's, you know, that you've done in this life. And that's pretty heavy. And then you regret it and then you try to develop a determination not to do it again. Report an error in the passage at 45:48 Highlight the passage at 45:48

46:13 You take refuge in bodhicitta and then you're doing the Vajrasapha mantra. And so throughout you're visualizing being purified and just stuff comes up. So for me it was very interesting because in my life before I met the Dharma I was... I'm a big mosquito and ant killer. Report an error in the passage at 46:13 Highlight the passage at 46:13

46:37 Really. In my retreat, I had bed bugs and mosquito bugs and all kinds of things. I'd wake up with hundreds of bug bites all over my body. Report an error in the passage at 46:37 Highlight the passage at 46:37

46:53 Interestingly, this really helped me believe in karma, is that nobody else in my retreat experienced bug bites. And, I mean... Report an error in the passage at 46:53 Highlight the passage at 46:53

47:02 I was the only one, there was only my one friend, she had like two bites during the entire time and she was the only one. So for me, I was purifying my insect karma and it was very interesting. And other people, everybody in the retreat was just experiencing all kinds of difficulties, mental difficulties, physical difficulties, knee pain, back pain. Report an error in the passage at 47:02 Highlight the passage at 47:02

47:30 Headaches, lung, etc. I don't know the extent of everything. One woman, she experienced some spirit harm and she almost went crazy. Report an error in the passage at 47:30 Highlight the passage at 47:30

47:47 What was that? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know the details. you so. Report an error in the passage at 47:47 Highlight the passage at 47:47

47:59 So in India you see a lot of people undergoing hardships for the sake of the Dharma. In India people are always getting sick. People are getting dysentery and giardia and hepatitis. And yet the people who are really practicing well, they have such a happy mind. They're practicing and you're feeling more purified and you're experiencing bliss in meditation. But then physically it's very difficult. Report an error in the passage at 47:59 Highlight the passage at 47:59

48:28 And so people are voluntarily undergoing all of these physical hardships because their mind is really happy. It feels like a really beneficial thing to do. Not to scare you or tell horror stories, but I guess that's what I just did. Report an error in the passage at 48:28 Highlight the passage at 48:28

48:50 But that's part of the path. If we want to do intense purification, just... Anticipate that stuff is going to come up. It's not going to be pleasant. Report an error in the passage at 48:50 Highlight the passage at 48:50

49:06 But it's so wonderful. Lama Zopa Rinpoche is always encouraging us to rejoice when you're experiencing all these hardships because this means that you're purifying and you won't experience this much greater suffering in the future. Report an error in the passage at 49:06 Highlight the passage at 49:06

49:23 And so when you tell people, like I remember Venerable Rita, she came to Shida where I was doing a retreat, you know, at the end of the retreat, and she asked, how was the retreat? And saying, oh, it's terrible, this happened and that happened, and she said, wonderful, that's so great, that means it worked, you know, which sounds really twisted, but it is a sign that it works, right? Report an error in the passage at 49:23 Highlight the passage at 49:23

49:48 Robert. Report an error in the passage at 49:48 Highlight the passage at 49:48

49:53 On those treats, if you have 100 people who start a three-month retreat, how many people complete it? We had 12 people start and 12 people finish. Well, that speaks very well for it, actually. That shows enthusiasm because you're not locked up there, I'm assuming. assuming. Report an error in the passage at 49:53 Highlight the passage at 49:53

50:28 Right. Yeah, so hopefully you go into the retreat with your eyes open, you know, not expecting bliss. Because if you are, you won't last, right? I was thinking about these insects. It's sort of silly, but I guess I've killed insects, too, and it bothers me. And I have an inmate who I'm working with who took insects on as his project for compassion, the idea of understanding bodhicitta eventually. Report an error in the passage at 50:28 Highlight the passage at 50:28

50:56 And he had a praying mantis. And he got... They got to like each other. First it bit him, and I watched this. And then they got to be friends, and they have affection for one another. And so I got to thinking, I guess these insects, they do have consciousnesses, and they're probably not as little as one would like to think. Report an error in the passage at 50:56 Highlight the passage at 50:56

51:19 I mean, this mantis, well, it's not kind of big, probably, but it had a lot of consciousness, so I guess it's important. Anyway, I learned something from that. It is important not to kill them. Yeah, I mean, they do. They have minds, and they, just as much as us, you know, they don't want suffering. They seem to develop sort of a love for one another. Report an error in the passage at 51:19 Highlight the passage at 51:19

51:41 It sounds weird, but maybe I'm weird. Yeah, it could be. That Primantis was probably his mother in a previous life. Report an error in the passage at 51:41 Highlight the passage at 51:41

51:57 Yeah, yeah, exactly. No, and that's true of all. All beings, all sentient beings have consciousness and they all want to be happy and none of them want to suffer, none of them want to be stomped on. Report an error in the passage at 51:57 Highlight the passage at 51:57

52:22 So that's one of the wonderful things about doing these meditations on these different realms is really trying to imagine being a praying mantis and try to imagine. right. Report an error in the passage at 52:22 Highlight the passage at 52:22

52:34 What it would be like to be all these different beings and suffer like that, right? So it's not an intellectual experience. It's an experience of feeling, like feeling what it's like to be that being. And that's where it's going to bring us compassion. And then Lama Zopa said, if you have, and Report an error in the passage at 52:34 Highlight the passage at 52:34

52:58 that actually makes sense because... Report an error in the passage at 52:58 Highlight the passage at 52:58

53:13 Right. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it is definitely not worth it to kill insects because we will experience, I mean not only, I mean the least of the bad effects are for the insects to come back, but we will be, I mean to kill those insects we will be reborn in the lower realms for a long time. So we need to purify that. And putting up with a few insects in our house is very little hardship compared to. Report an error in the passage at 53:13 Highlight the passage at 53:13

53:47 What we'll experience in the future if we actually kill them. So yeah, we can ask them to leave. There's many different methods for blocking their entrance. If you put baby powder out, ants don't like baby powder. Buddhists are experts at what ants don't like. Yeah, exactly. Baby powder and cinnamon and incense and all of these things. Report an error in the passage at 53:47 Highlight the passage at 53:47

54:18 There's a really powerful, I don't know if it's a practice, but I guess you could say it's a practice, but also one can, and Lama Zopa suggests this, to whisper, you know, Omani Padme whom in the ears of mice and animals and... To give that kind of Dharma to an insect as you let it out of your house or something is like a really good merit building exercise too. So when you kill them, you're killing your merit chance to do that, you know. Report an error in the passage at 54:18 Highlight the passage at 54:18

54:46 And I really believe that too. I think that's a really good one because there's this bug and who on earth is going to walk up and say to that bug, you know, just this one Dharma thing like Omani Padme Hu. So that's like a really good way to turn around because it makes it fun, you know, to turn around that idea about killing bugs. Yeah, and also, you know, we're making a karmic connection with them. Report an error in the passage at 54:46 Highlight the passage at 54:46

55:05 So that we can bring them to enlightenment in the future. Because with our bodhicitta, we're taking responsibility to bring all beings to enlightenment. Report an error in the passage at 55:05 Highlight the passage at 55:05

55:17 And maybe I'll tell you a little story about when I was in retreat. There was some of my friends also in retreat at the same time. And so when you're in retreat, you become very, very... You're sensitive and conscious of animals because you're not talking to anybody. For months and months and months you're not talking to anyone. You're sitting outside and eating your meals and you're noticing all of the different bugs that are around and all the different ants. Report an error in the passage at 55:17 Highlight the passage at 55:17

55:49 You're trying to bring benefit to them. We were all in retreat and then Lama Zopa Rinpoche came to teach. There, toward the end of my retreat. And so all of us went to the teachings and we talked to each other. And we'd have these funny conversations like, you know, about the ants. Oh yeah, well which size ant are you talking about? Are those little ants or is it a second to the littlest ant? You know, so you become, you know, you become very kind of intimate with the insects. Report an error in the passage at 55:49 Highlight the passage at 55:49

56:25 And you see how much they're, Trying to be happy. They're constantly trying to be happy. And how terrified they are if they're in danger. Report an error in the passage at 56:25 Highlight the passage at 56:25

56:41 And so you can really start feeling that. And then you become really, you really befriend them. And I remember there was one time when I went around the stupa and there was a little slug on the side of the stupa. Being eaten by hundreds of ants. And it was really, really devastating. Like I was horrified because you're so sensitive at that point that you can feel immediately what is it like to be eaten by hundreds of ants, you know, eaten alive, you know, and it was just kind of wiggling there and it was just horrible, you know. Report an error in the passage at 56:41 Highlight the passage at 56:41

57:23 And so, you know, so I took it and, you know, did mantras for it and circumambulations and things like that, you know. So yeah, so all of these beings, you know, are just like us. Report an error in the passage at 57:23 Highlight the passage at 57:23

57:43 Okay. Report an error in the passage at 57:43 Highlight the passage at 57:43

57:51 Shall we take a break? Report an error in the passage at 57:51 Highlight the passage at 57:51

57:59 Actually, after the break, I will explain this verse. Report an error in the passage at 57:59 Highlight the passage at 57:59

58:10 I'll Report an error in the passage at 58:10 Highlight the passage at 58:10

58:14 just start again. Okay. We could talk about bugs for a long time. that sentence, although my projects are many, none of them are complete. Report an error in the passage at 58:14 Highlight the passage at 58:14

58:23 But Hillary and I were just talking at the break and, you know, and once we start really, you know, saving insects, you know, it's amazing the effect it has on others. Hillary was saying, you know, on her, you know, on her sister and teaching her kids that because Hillary and Janet don't kill bugs, then now Hillary's sister is telling the kids that Hillary won't like it if they kill bugs. Report an error in the passage at 58:23 Highlight the passage at 58:23

58:53 And I have friends too, you know, when I'm around, you know, they say, oh, well, Emily won't like it if I kill these bugs. So, you know, so even if they kill them, you know, there's something, some effect in there. Emily's going to get mad if I kill these ants. Report an error in the passage at 58:53 Highlight the passage at 58:53

59:31 And that's what we do, you know, our objects of attachment. We try to protect them and then we create negative karma. Report an error in the passage at 59:31 Highlight the passage at 59:31

59:44 Verse 57. Although... That which I desire is near at hand. My effort to achieve it is small. Although my projects are many, none of them are completed. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy ego. Most of us, especially in this culture, we want to accomplish a lot very quickly. Report an error in the passage at 59:44 Highlight the passage at 59:44

1:00:14 We like the immediate gratification. so here Report an error in the passage at 1:00:14 Highlight the passage at 1:00:14

1:00:19 And so we're not brought up with that kind of mindset that we need to make a lot of effort for a long period of time. But in the Dharma, to achieve realizations, we need to make consistent effort over a long period of time. We need to make a lot of effort. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:19 Highlight the passage at 1:00:19

1:00:43 In this life and all our future lives, it's not as if we can practice really, really well for five years and then just take a break and relax for the rest of our lives. So we need to continue to make consistent effort. And when we get discouraged, sometimes we may practice really well for a while and then just get sick of it and not want to do it anymore. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:43 Highlight the passage at 1:00:43

1:01:08 That's because of our self-cherishing mind. Our self-cherishing mind wanting to have the comfort and not wanting to put forth that effort. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:08 Highlight the passage at 1:01:08

1:01:21 So that's why we need these various meditations on the hell realms and everything. Death. Although my projects are many, none of them are completed. So this, in the commentaries... They're talking, well, Samlo Geshe Kelsing, in his commentary specifically, he's talking about how we do, you know, we want to do all of these different practices, you know, and so maybe we really want to work on our anger for a while, and then we'll work on our anger for a while, and then we'll get kind of tired of that, and then we'll really want to do... Report an error in the passage at 1:01:21 Highlight the passage at 1:01:21

1:02:01 And then we'll do some purification for a while. And then we'll get tired of that. And then we'll really want to work on emptiness. And then we'll do that for a while. And then we'll want to work on bodhicitta. And so that's because we get bored because of our self-cherishing mind. That we're not, you know, maybe we start doing some of the preliminary practices, the nongdro. You know, there are nine, you know, in this tradition there are nine different practices. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:01 Highlight the passage at 1:02:01

1:02:29 That are called the nundro, the preliminary practices where you need to do 100,000 vajrasattvas or 100,000 prostrations or 100,000 mandala offerings, etc. So the specific example that Samla Geshe Kelsang is talking about is that maybe we start doing the mandala offerings and we don't do 100,000 but we get tired of it and then we'll start doing something else and then we don't finish that and then we'll start doing something else. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:29 Highlight the passage at 1:02:29

1:03:01 So that's where our projects are many and none of them are completed up in this verse. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:01 Highlight the passage at 1:03:01

1:03:12 And so actually this is something that I notice in myself. I get really enthusiastic and really, really work on something for a while. And then it gets kind of boring. And then I get really enthusiastic about something else and work on something else. And so it's encouraged that we need to complete what we start. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:12 Highlight the passage at 1:03:12

1:03:35 And if we don't complete it, if we leave something unfinished, then we're creating the imprint for not completing things. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:35 Highlight the passage at 1:03:35

1:03:45 So we need to actually complete things that we start. Which also means that we don't just jump in and start things without thinking about it first. So it's encouraged that we need to really think before we undergo a project, think about what it will take. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:45 Highlight the passage at 1:03:45

1:04:04 and be willing to do that. And if we're not willing to do that, then it's better to not start. Although Report an error in the passage at 1:04:04 Highlight the passage at 1:04:04

1:04:25 I have many new friendships, my modesty and friendships are of short duration. Although I have many new friendships, my modesty and friendships are of short duration. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:25 Highlight the passage at 1:04:25

1:04:45 Although I have many new friendships, my modesty and friendships are of short duration. Although I freeload off of others, I eagerly pursue those who pilfer. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy ego. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:45 Highlight the passage at 1:04:45

1:04:52 So perhaps we meet new people, we make friends easily. In the beginning we think, oh, this person is such a nice person. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:52 Highlight the passage at 1:04:52

1:05:04 You spend a lot of time with that person and then you start noticing that they have shortcomings and we start getting critical of them and then the friendships end. So the reason for that is our self-cherishing mind again. So that person isn't... Meeting our expectations, that person isn't stroking our egos. So most of our relationships are about, we tend to divide people into friends, enemies and strangers. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:04 Highlight the passage at 1:05:04

1:05:37 And our friends, if we really analyze the people that we're close to, our friends and our family, the people we really care about or really concerned about, are the people who have helped us. Who are kind to us, who treat us well, who make us feel good. It's all about me. We're the center of the universe and the people who treat us the way that we want to be treated and make us feel good, those are the people that we care about in general. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:37 Highlight the passage at 1:05:37

1:06:10 The strangers are the people who really don't enter the radar. They haven't really helped us. They haven't really hurt us. You know, the people we walk down the street and don't even really notice, you know, the checkout girl at the grocery store. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:10 Highlight the passage at 1:06:10

1:06:31 And so we don't, you know, we're not particularly concerned with their happiness. We have indifference to them. And then, you know, the enemies, the people who really annoy us, those are people who have maybe mistreated us. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:31 Highlight the passage at 1:06:31

1:06:51 Or done something that made us feel bad in some way. So this whole delineation of who we care about and who we don't care about is based on our self-cherishing, right? Ourselves being the center of the universe. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:51 Highlight the passage at 1:06:51

1:07:19 So that's part of the practice, right? The bodhicitta practice in particular is where we start with a practice of equanimity, realizing that... All beings are exactly the same in wanting to be happy. And also understanding what I just talked about, about how we delineate friends, enemies and strangers based on our self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:19 Highlight the passage at 1:07:19

1:07:43 So all beings are the same in wanting to be happy. And there are countless other beings and there's only one of us. So it doesn't make sense to cherish ourselves. As being more important than those countless other beings. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:43 Highlight the passage at 1:07:43

1:08:06 So sometimes, I think it's interesting to try to take the perspective of, you know, you go up into space and look down and, you know, then we would be, you know, like a speck of dust in the universe, right? In our lives, we tend to blow up our own importance. But we're just a speck of dust. And so it doesn't make sense. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:06 Highlight the passage at 1:08:06

1:08:36 For our lives to revolve around our happiness more than others' happiness. So then we train our minds to be concerned about everyone and to feel a sense of closeness with everyone. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:36 Highlight the passage at 1:08:36

1:08:59 And then try to work for the benefit of all beings. And we talked last time a bit about how we go beyond the self-cherishing mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:59 Highlight the passage at 1:08:59

1:09:11 I think we start by just taking our current motivation, let's say anything that we're doing. Okay, I'm going to class. Maybe we're going to class because we want to improve our practice. And then we try to expand out that motivation. Okay, well, initially it might be about my practice. And then we try to expand it out and think, okay, well... Report an error in the passage at 1:09:11 Highlight the passage at 1:09:11

1:09:37 If I improve my practice, if I go to class and improve my practice, then that will be beneficial to my friends and family. I'll be kinder to them. I'll be more beneficial to them. And then we can spread that out to include all of the strangers and then all of the enemies. And then we can expand that out greater and greater and greater. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:37 Highlight the passage at 1:09:37

1:10:06 So in one of the previous verses, when we're... Summoning Yamantaka to destroy the self-cherishing. I find for myself that wrathful means doesn't work so well for destroying self-cherishing. For me, I think we all have different personalities and wrathful means can be really beneficial to certain types of people. But wrathful means, for me, encourages me to beat myself up for having a self-cherishing mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:06 Highlight the passage at 1:10:06

1:10:41 And for me, I find that it's really important to be very gentle and very compassionate with, okay, well, that's my self-cherishing mind. And let's try to expand that out to include other beings. So it's this kind of gentle expansion as opposed to, there's my self-cherishing mind, let's cut that, let's cut that, let's cut that. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:41 Highlight the passage at 1:10:41

1:11:04 Because really, our self-cherishing mind is constantly arising. So if we're constantly beating ourselves up, It's going to be very unpleasant, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:11:04 Highlight the passage at 1:11:04

1:11:17 Then it can be a very pleasant experience, just trying to expand our motivation in everything that we do. We sit down and eat this meal, not just to feed me and nourish me, but we can think, okay, well, may this nourish me so that I can be stronger and more healthy, so that I can benefit others, so I can continue to practice and benefit others. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:17 Highlight the passage at 1:11:17

1:11:43 Or we can also think of all the beings who contributed to that food being on the table, right? The farmers and the truck drivers and the grocery store people and, you know, the countless beings who contributed. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:43 Highlight the passage at 1:11:43

1:12:02 I kind of went off of it. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:02 Highlight the passage at 1:12:02

1:12:11 So yeah, so that was, I really went off of the friendships, right? So our friendships are based on me, me. What has this person done for me, basically? And that's why they don't last. I mean, sometimes we have lasting friendships. But for the most part, if we look through our lives, people have come and gone in our lives. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:11 Highlight the passage at 1:12:11

1:12:41 Also, in the commentaries, the lamas advise us to not do this in particular with lamas. To take relationships with Lamas very seriously and to not just jump into a relationship with a Lama, but to check out that Lama first and be sure that you can have devotion to that Lama before you take on a guru-disciple relationship. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:41 Highlight the passage at 1:12:41

1:13:13 Because we're creating very bad karma if we develop a relationship with a Lama and later on we discover... Oh, that Lama, actually, I don't like that Lama's behavior. And if we reject that Lama, it's very bad karma. And we're creating basically the karma to not meet with a Lama in the future. So be careful to check out the Lamas. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:13 Highlight the passage at 1:13:13

1:13:41 And in the Lamrim, there's a description of the ten qualities of a Lama and then the qualities of a disciple. Maybe we'll talk about that in the context of one of these future verses. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:41 Highlight the passage at 1:13:41

1:14:01 And then this verse says, although I free load off of others, I eagerly pursue those who pilfer. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:01 Highlight the passage at 1:14:01

1:14:12 So this is where we have, if we have strong attachment, a lot of greed for the good things in life, for good food, nice clothing. clothing, etc. If we have too much greed, then we will even steal to get what we want. And that would be because of our self-cherishing mind once again. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:12 Highlight the passage at 1:14:12

1:14:56 Although I'm skilled at flattery and asking for things indirectly, my despair is great. Although I assiduously amass things, miserliness binds me. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction, mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy ego. So this is a circumstance where perhaps we don't ask for things directly, but maybe we hint or flatter someone so that they'll give us what we want. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:56 Highlight the passage at 1:14:56

1:15:32 And so this, you know, in the bodhisattva vows, for people who've taken bodhisattva vows, we've taken vows to not do. These things, you know, the five wrong livelihoods, to not flatter in order to get something, not to hint in order to get something, etc. Not to force people to give us things. So if we do want something, then we're encouraged to actually ask directly and straightforwardly. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:32 Highlight the passage at 1:15:32

1:16:04 Although I assiduously amass things, miserliness abinds me. So this is very appropriate in the West, right? We're constantly accumulating things and yet we Report an error in the passage at 1:16:04 Highlight the passage at 1:16:04

1:16:24 have miserliness, right? Maybe we are hesitant to give to the beggars or we're hesitant to give a lot to charity, etc. And if that's the case, right, so that's... Self-cherishing mind once again, right? Miserliness is because we want to save all of this for us and we're unwilling to let it go and give it to others. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:24 Highlight the passage at 1:16:24

1:17:07 Although whatever I've done has been insignificant, I am swollen with pride. Although I have no reputation, my hunger for it is great. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy, ego. So this would be if we, you know, sometimes people may do something small for somebody else and then never let that person forget that you've done this. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:07 Highlight the passage at 1:17:07

1:17:41 I did that favor for you and you treat me this way. So reminding that person again and again of, you know, whatever we've done for that person. Even though it was just something small. And that's because of pride and that's because of our self-cherishing mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:41 Highlight the passage at 1:17:41

1:18:06 And then although I have no reputation, my hunger for it is great. So we want others to respect us and we want to preserve a good reputation or we want to have a good reputation even though we don't create the causes for it. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:06 Highlight the passage at 1:18:06

1:18:35 Once again, that is because of... The self-cherishing mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:35 Highlight the passage at 1:18:35

1:18:46 And verse 61. Although my preceptors are many, my ability to keep my vows is small. Although my disciples are many, I give little time to help and look after them. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy, ego. So although my preceptors are many, my ability to keep my vows is small. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:46 Highlight the passage at 1:18:46

1:19:11 So this would be the case if we have many different lamas that we've taken our vows from. So the teachings encourage us to have, I mean, until we have very strong guru devotion, that we should stick with just a few gurus. You know, instead of running here and there to many different gurus and taking initiations from many different lamas, we need to... Report an error in the passage at 1:19:11 Highlight the passage at 1:19:11

1:19:39 Really focus on having a few gurus that we can really have devotion towards. And then once it's advised, then once you have really strong guru devotion, then you can have more lamas. But to start with, you know, while we're still training our minds, we need to stick with just a few. And in this area... Report an error in the passage at 1:19:39 Highlight the passage at 1:19:39

1:20:05 It's particularly pertinent because there are many different Lamas that come to this area, giving various initiations. And as soon as we take an initiation from a Lama, from anyone, then that person becomes our Lama. And we're supposed to view them as being a guru, as a Buddha. So if we're not really able to see that Lama is a Buddha... Report an error in the passage at 1:20:05 Highlight the passage at 1:20:05

1:20:33 Then it's probably not a good idea for us to take that initiation. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:33 Highlight the passage at 1:20:33

1:20:43 Because once again, we create a lot of negative karma. And the karma to not meet with gurus in the future if we mistreat these relationships now. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:43 Highlight the passage at 1:20:43

1:21:00 And then I just wanted to just mention the qualities of the disciple. So the qualities that we're supposed to. Meet as a disciple. Oftentimes we think, okay, well let's check out the guru, but are we ready from our side? So this is from the Lam Rimchenmo. So the three qualities of the student, according to Arya Deva, is to be, first of all, non-partisan, which means not to take sides in terms of having attachment for our own. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:00 Highlight the passage at 1:21:00

1:21:44 Religious system and hostility or aversion toward others. We need to have a non-sectarian view. So the Dharma is our chosen path, but that doesn't mean we need to be negative toward others. The second quality is intelligence. So this is the mental force to distinguish between correct paths of good explanation and counterfeit paths of false explanation. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:44 Highlight the passage at 1:21:44

1:22:15 So for the people who are in the Mind and Mental Factors class, we talked about the mental factor of wisdom. So the ability to distinguish between qualities and faults. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:15 Highlight the passage at 1:22:15

1:22:27 So we can determine what's a correct teaching and what's not a correct teaching, for example. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:27 Highlight the passage at 1:22:27

1:22:37 And so we know what to practice and what to avoid. Practicing the ten non-virtues and avoiding the ten. Practicing the ten virtues. And avoiding the ten non-virtues. Wow, getting lazy. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:37 Highlight the passage at 1:22:37

1:22:56 I'd be creating really negative karma. And then diligence, right? Diligence in our practice. And then there are two additional qualities that Chandrakirti mentions. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:56 Highlight the passage at 1:22:56

1:23:11 One, being focused when we listen to the teachings. So not having a very... A mind that's wandering off constantly. And then the other one is having respect for the teaching and the instructor. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:11 Highlight the passage at 1:23:11

1:23:46 The next part of this verse, although my disciples are many, I give little time to help and look after them. So that pertains to teachers, Dharma teachers or lamas who may have many disciples but don't actually spend time to look after them. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:46 Highlight the passage at 1:23:46

1:24:07 Responsibility of a teacher is to look after the disciples and the students. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:07 Highlight the passage at 1:24:07

1:24:19 And if they don't, then it's because of the self-cherishing mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:19 Highlight the passage at 1:24:19

1:24:30 So Keisha, you just made it for the end. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:30 Highlight the passage at 1:24:30

1:24:35 We just finished the last verse. So that's it. Is there any questions on any of these? Report an error in the passage at 1:24:35 Highlight the passage at 1:24:35

1:24:56 I just had one comment because one of the things I just realized in my own work recently is that really every relationship I've had that I can remember anyway through 66 years, there's always been some self-cherishing. I really don't know. I'm just trying to learn how to do it without that because really I've always, and to use the slang, I've always been working somebody and they've been working me to get what I want. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:56 Highlight the passage at 1:24:56

1:25:27 And it's been a dual thing. I mean, not that I've taken advantage of people, but it's been a dual symbiotic working. And it's real clear from the teachings that we need to stop that. And it's not that hard to stop it once you see it, but it makes for different relationships. It's a very different quality of relationships that these teachings are asking for. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:27 Highlight the passage at 1:25:27

1:25:55 I've done it. I mean, I know. That's how I've lived and that's why I'm... And that's a great insight, right? And you're not alone, right? This is what all of us do, right? We develop relationships based on what we want, right? But it looks like it's in a Report an error in the passage at 1:25:55 Highlight the passage at 1:25:55

1:26:21 company. It's being real nice. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:21 Highlight the passage at 1:26:21

1:26:31 Yeah, and that's the self-cherishing mind that's so kind of insidious, right? So that even when we're... Loving toward others, even when we're helping others, usually there's something in it for us. It makes us feel better. Maybe we feel better about ourselves. Or we expect something in return. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:31 Highlight the passage at 1:26:31

1:27:05 Oftentimes we don't even know we expect something until we get the opposite. So we really help that person and if that person is really unkind to us, Report an error in the passage at 1:27:05 Highlight the passage at 1:27:05

1:27:18 And we get really annoyed. Then we can see, okay, well, obviously I didn't do that purely for that person. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:18 Highlight the passage at 1:27:18

1:27:31 You know what I mean? Like, you were supposed to give me $10, you know? Like, that's why I like you so much. Did you get that? Yeah. That's awful. You really brought me down tonight, man. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:31 Highlight the passage at 1:27:31

1:27:53 Or, you know, last week in Tenzin Choki, she gave this wonderful class on the seven-point mind training. And the way she put something was, I loved, and that was how she was saying how, you know, we're constantly being driven by the self-cherishing, you know, what can I get, what can I get. And even our relationships, you know, we have relationships with people where we're just stroking each other's egos, you know, and that's just so true, you know, the people that we love, you know, that we enter relationships with. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:53 Highlight the passage at 1:27:53

1:28:27 We love them because they stroke our egos, they make us feel good. And that's really kind of sick, yeah. That's what we do. And I would disagree with something that you said about once you see it, then it's easy to stop it. Because I don't think that it's easy to stop it. And that's where we have to put a lot of work for a long time. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:27 Highlight the passage at 1:28:27

1:28:57 And that self-cherishing mind, I think I mentioned before, we don't get rid of completely until well after we've directly realized emptiness for the first time. Well after we've developed bodhicitta even. So the eighth bodhisattva ground. So after we've had bodhicitta for a long time and after we've directly realized emptiness many times. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:57 Highlight the passage at 1:28:57

1:29:22 Then we can get rid of our self-cherishing completely because it's such a deeply ingrained habit. So that's where I think that we need to be really patient and gentle with ourselves and just continue to work at expanding our motivation and not beating ourselves up for the self-cherishing because it's just always been there and it's not going to be easy to let go of. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:22 Highlight the passage at 1:29:22

1:29:52 So to just be compassionate with it. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:52 Highlight the passage at 1:29:52

1:30:02 So let's stop there. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:02 Highlight the passage at 1:30:02