Mahayana Mind Transformation (10 August 2007)

0:06 Okay, so just another reminder that all of our suffering are ultimately caused by two things, right? The ignorance grasping at this kind of solid independently existent self, thinking that we are separate from others, not really understanding the interdependence of all beings. And then cherishing ourselves as being more important than others, being more concerned about our own happiness, getting our own needs and wants met than those of others. Report an error in the passage at 0:06 Highlight the passage at 0:06

0:49 So then we're constantly protecting ourselves. We're protecting our comforts, our pleasures, trying to always make things kind of turn out well for ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 0:49 Highlight the passage at 0:49

1:03 And we develop a lot of afflictions, attachment, anger, irritation, jealousy, pride, etc. Fear comes up all because of the self-cherishing, the self-grasping minds. So then as a result, we create negative karma, which will cause us to suffer in the future. And then we suffer in the present because we have mental afflictions and we don't have a peaceful mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:03 Highlight the passage at 1:03

1:36 So oftentimes we think that happiness comes from cherishing ourselves, but Report an error in the passage at 1:36 Highlight the passage at 1:36

1:46 ultimately we're creating negative karma and creating suffering for ourselves. Because things don't always turn out the way that we want them to, right? We're trying to control our environment, control our lives so that things are really pleasant for ourselves and comfortable. But we can't control our environment, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:46 Highlight the passage at 1:46

2:07 We're all going to grow old. Well, hopefully, we're going to grow old. We're all going to die. We'll get sick. We'll lose all of our loved ones. So all of these sufferings are just going to happen because we're in saṃsāra. And we don't like to think about that. But because we resist these things, then we suffer even more. Report an error in the passage at 2:07 Highlight the passage at 2:07

2:39 So the more we feel, well, the more we develop wisdom, understanding the nature of reality, Understanding the nature of saṃsāra and how it is a suffering realm, how things are going to go wrong again and again. The more we understand that and accept it and the more we cherish others, the more we have love and compassion for others, then the more peaceful our minds are. Report an error in the passage at 2:39 Highlight the passage at 2:39

3:13 So we'll go to verse 80. Report an error in the passage at 3:13 Highlight the passage at 3:13

3:22 I do not appreciate advice and I'm always difficult to be with. Many things offend me and my clinging is always strong. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy ego. Report an error in the passage at 3:22 Highlight the passage at 3:22

3:40 We do not pay attention to what others tell us. We are a trial to be with. We strain others' nerves. Our feelings are hurt at the slightest remark and we hold grudges strongly. We never forgive. Trample him, trample him, dance on the head of this treacherous concept of selfish concern. Tear out the heart of the self-centered butcher who slaughters our chance to gain final release. Report an error in the passage at 3:40 Highlight the passage at 3:40

4:04 So here, we've talked about this a little bit before, but we don't pay attention to other people's advice. Others are trying to help us and we don't listen to them. We're easily irritated, we're easily hurt. Report an error in the passage at 4:04 Highlight the passage at 4:04

4:27 And then we hold grudges when people do hurt us. And this is all because of the self-cherishing mind. Report an error in the passage at 4:27 Highlight the passage at 4:27

4:43 And then as a result, we're creating a lot of negative karma. And others won't like to be around us, right, because we're difficult to be with. Report an error in the passage at 4:43 Highlight the passage at 4:43

4:55 Then in the Wheel of Sharp Weapons, Geshe Nauang Darge, I was going to say Dapa, says that there are two kinds of mind. One is like writing on a rock and the other one is like writing on water. Our negative mind should be like writing on water, while our positive mind should be like inscribing on rock. Report an error in the passage at 4:55 Highlight the passage at 4:55

5:26 So we should let go of our negative minds and cultivate positive minds again and again and develop that habit more and more strongly. Report an error in the passage at 5:26 Highlight the passage at 5:26

5:50 Verse 81. I exalt myself above the high and low and consider holy people my enemies. Because my lust is great, I energetically pursue young people. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy, ego. We are always jealous of those of great status. Report an error in the passage at 5:50 Highlight the passage at 5:50

6:16 We feel holy gurus are threats to avoid. Overwhelmed by attachment and ruled by our passions, We spend all our time lusting after young loves. Trample him, trample him. Dance on the head of this treacherous concept of selfish concern. Tear out the heart of this self-centered butcher who slaughters our chance to gain final release. So this is where we put ourselves above others and we feel envious and jealous of others who perhaps have... Report an error in the passage at 6:16 Highlight the passage at 6:16

6:49 Greater reputation or more qualities than we do or more knowledge than we do. And rather than rejoicing in others' good qualities, we feel envious and jealous of them. Report an error in the passage at 6:49 Highlight the passage at 6:49

7:06 So this is a result of the self-cherishing mind, right? Needing to think of ourselves as being higher than others. Report an error in the passage at 7:06 Highlight the passage at 7:06

7:22 And because my lust is great, I energetically pursue young people. So this is referring to strong attachment, really attachment to anything, where we're constantly running after our objects of attachment, thinking that happiness is coming from the outside. Report an error in the passage at 7:22 Highlight the passage at 7:22

7:43 And so this is also because of the self-cherishing mind, because we want pleasure now. Report an error in the passage at 7:43 Highlight the passage at 7:43

7:58 So here we are on the Mahāyāna path, and we're trying to develop bodhicitta. Maybe we have bodhisattva vows. so... We're working for the benefit of all sentient beings, or at least as much as we can. So then it doesn't make sense to be jealous of others. We should be happy when others are happy. Report an error in the passage at 7:58 Highlight the passage at 7:58

8:27 So the more and more we actually genuinely cherish others and genuinely develop bodhicitta, then the jealous mind will decrease more and more. Report an error in the passage at 8:27 Highlight the passage at 8:27

8:39 And a really good antidote to jealousy is rejoicing, rejoicing in others' qualities. Sometimes we hear of people going on a retreat and having these wonderful experiences and the first thing we think is, oh, I wish that was me. Or instead of just really being happy for them, coming back to me and wishing it was me. Report an error in the passage at 8:39 Highlight the passage at 8:39

9:10 And that's because of self-cherishing. So the more we train to just rejoice in others' success, happiness, good qualities, the happier we'll be and the less jealousy. Report an error in the passage at 9:10 Highlight the passage at 9:10

9:34 Yeah, Anna? Report an error in the passage at 9:34 Highlight the passage at 9:34

9:41 What does it mean, consider holy people my enemies? Yeah, so in the first translation it says consider holy people my enemies. In the second translation... We feel holy gurus are threats to avoid. So the holy beings, instead of really revering them and respecting them and wanting to emulate their qualities, we feel threatened by them. Report an error in the passage at 9:41 Highlight the passage at 9:41

10:08 And maybe we criticize them. Why are all these people revering that holy being? I'm actually better. So that comes from attachment and jealousy, pride, also arrogance. Report an error in the passage at 10:08 Highlight the passage at 10:08

10:34 And I think that happens a lot, you know, where when we're jealous, then in our minds we try to cut down the person, try to focus on their negative qualities instead of rejoicing in their positive qualities. Report an error in the passage at 10:34 Highlight the passage at 10:34

11:14 Okay, the next verse. Because my friendships are of short duration, I cast aside former acquaintances. Because my new friends are many, I lay before them empty promises of enjoyment. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy ego. We do not think of friendships as long-term commitments. We treat old companions with thoughtless neglect. Report an error in the passage at 11:14 Highlight the passage at 11:14

11:42 And when we are making new friends with a stranger, we try to impress him with grandiose ways. Trample him, trample him, dance on the head of this treacherous concept of selfish concern. Tear out the heart of this self-centered butcher who slaughters our chance to gain final release. So here, this is where we don't really value long-term friendships. Report an error in the passage at 11:42 Highlight the passage at 11:42

12:05 We don't really see friendships as being kind of a long-term commitment. And so we just go through life making friends and neglecting the older friends. Report an error in the passage at 12:05 Highlight the passage at 12:05

12:19 And we do that because of our self-cherishing mind, right? We're not genuinely concerned about the other person. We're not genuinely, we don't have genuine love and affection and concern for others. So when someone more exciting comes along, we just neglect the old friends. Report an error in the passage at 12:19 Highlight the passage at 12:19

12:43 And then when we meet someone new and exciting, then we try to impress them rather than just being natural and caring and concerned about them. Kind of our ego comes up and we try to impress them. And that's because of the self-cherishing as well. Report an error in the passage at 12:43 Highlight the passage at 12:43

13:16 And then also the commentaries talk about how with friends, at the beginning we see only the good qualities of friends and then over time we start to see their faults and then we start focusing on their faults. Even just the minor little faults, our minds can kind of... Capture hold of this one little thing that this person does that's really annoying and then we can blow that up and that can be the reason why we leave them as friends. Report an error in the passage at 13:16 Highlight the passage at 13:16

13:53 So it's good to not focus on people's negative qualities and try to focus on their positive qualities as much as possible and develop genuine concern because they are a sentient being and they're just trying to be happy just like us. And all of us have faults. Report an error in the passage at 13:53 Highlight the passage at 13:53

14:25 This also talks about fair-weathered friends, where we like being around friends when they're fun, they're easy to be around, you know, when we have a good time. But then as soon as some difficulty occurs, maybe they get sick or they're going through a really difficult relationship. They have a lot of suffering. Then we're not around for them. And if we're not around for them, that's also because of the self-cherishing mind. Report an error in the passage at 14:25 Highlight the passage at 14:25

15:07 So when we have genuine caring for others, then it's not so conditional, right? It's not just a matter of whether or not that person makes us feel good or we like being around them, right? We're around them and we're helpful to them regardless of what's going on. Report an error in the passage at 15:07 Highlight the passage at 15:07

15:40 Verse 83. Having no precognition, I eagerly resort to lying and deprecation. Having no compassion, I snatch away the confidence from others' hearts. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy ego. We lack clairvoyance, yet lie, feigning powers. Report an error in the passage at 15:40 Highlight the passage at 15:40

16:05 And then when proved wrong, we must bear all complaints. We have little compassion for those who are near us. Whenever they blunder, we are quick to lash out. Trample him, trample him, dance on the head of this treacherous concept of selfish concern. Tear out the heart of the self-centered butcher who slaughters our chance to gain final release. Okay, so this is where we Report an error in the passage at 16:05 Highlight the passage at 16:05

16:36 may try to impress people by pretending to have some sort of a clairvoyance or some sort of supernatural powers. Maybe we accept requests to do divinations for others. But sooner or later, the deception will be discovered and then we try to hide that. Report an error in the passage at 16:36 Highlight the passage at 16:36

17:10 And then if we had compassion, we would avoid hurting others. We would avoid hurting others by lying, by pretending. Report an error in the passage at 17:10 Highlight the passage at 17:10

17:21 But if we have a lot of self-cherishing, then, well... We do this because of having self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 17:21 Highlight the passage at 17:21

17:36 We have a little compassion for those who are near us. Whenever they blunder, we are quick to lash out. So here, we like people as long as they're not making mistakes. And as soon as we see some mistake or some fault, then we lash out or criticize them because of our self-cherishing minds. So this may be criticizing. Report an error in the passage at 17:36 Highlight the passage at 17:36

18:03 Verbally or just in our minds. Report an error in the passage at 18:03 Highlight the passage at 18:03

18:19 Also then if other people hurt us, perhaps our minds want to get back at them. And then it's also because of the self-cherishing mind. Report an error in the passage at 18:19 Highlight the passage at 18:19

18:47 Verse 84. Having studied little, I wildly guess about everything. Since my religious education is slight, I have wrong views about everything. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy ego. Report an error in the passage at 18:47 Highlight the passage at 18:47

19:10 So this is where we haven't studied much or we have attended teachings but we haven't been paying attention. And so maybe we don't reflect on the teachings. They're just kind of words. We listen to them and then as soon as we walk out the door we forget. Report an error in the passage at 19:10 Highlight the passage at 19:10

19:33 And then we don't really have a good understanding of the Dharma. So when people ask questions, we guess or make presumptions about the answer rather than having it be based on real study. Report an error in the passage at 19:33 Highlight the passage at 19:33

19:50 So the recommendation is that we need to really put effort into studying and reflect on the teachings. And if we're going to explain the Dharma to others, if we're going to be a teacher, maybe none of us think that we're going to be a teacher, but... In many ways we are, in terms of, you know, when people ask us about the Dharma. So Samlogeshi Kelsang says, in order to give teachings, one has to study thoroughly, extensively and precisely about the subjects or the scriptures beforehand. Report an error in the passage at 19:50 Highlight the passage at 19:50

20:31 However, there are people who, when they are supposed to study, do not study hard. And when the time comes in the future when they have to teach, They teach whatever they know and make up the rest, giving false instructions. Report an error in the passage at 20:31 Highlight the passage at 20:31

20:48 So the Dharma is just so vast. There's so much to study. So it's recommended to study as much as we can, as many scriptures as we can. Otherwise, it's so easy to misunderstand the Dharma, to just learn some small part of it. And think that that's the Dharma and not practice properly. Report an error in the passage at 20:48 Highlight the passage at 20:48

21:23 I mean, I notice in my experience over time, my idea of what Dharma practice is changes. You know, and each time I study a new text, there's like some new light bulb that goes on. It's like the self-cherishing mind. We've talked about in the past how deceptive it is and how we're so habituated to following the self-cherishing mind, thinking that that's the way to be happy. Report an error in the passage at 21:23 Highlight the passage at 21:23

21:56 And I notice it's that self-cherishing mind that misleads me again and again in my practice, thinking, oh yeah, well I... Report an error in the passage at 21:56 Highlight the passage at 21:56

22:06 It's really important for me to really take care of myself and my own happiness and this teaching, I don't know, this teaching doesn't feel good and kind of rejecting that. Instead of seeing that as just like an obstacle, right? Sometimes we'll encounter teachings that we have resistance to, you know, like meditating on the lower realms. Report an error in the passage at 22:06 Highlight the passage at 22:06

22:36 Or thinking that saṃsāra is just full of suffering and we're just going to suffer again and again. These things aren't very pleasant to think about. And so oftentimes you hear, especially beginners in teachings, developing negative mind towards some of these teachings, thinking, oh, that doesn't make sense, that doesn't make sense. Report an error in the passage at 22:36 Highlight the passage at 22:36

23:02 But I find that myself, as I've studied more, you know, periodically I run into some resistance in my mind to a teaching. And that's just an obstacle, you know, and rather than becoming negative about that teaching, thinking, oh, well, you know, that doesn't make any sense, that's wrong, you know. We've talked in the past about just putting it on the shelf and not just rejecting those teachings, right? Report an error in the passage at 23:02 Highlight the passage at 23:02

23:28 It's just natural for resistance to come because we do have obscurations in our minds. And the more we purify, the more we study, the more we practice those obscurations will go. But, you know, it's just natural that we have them. And we'll have obscurations actually until we reach enlightenment. So it's not something that's going to go away anytime soon. Report an error in the passage at 23:28 Highlight the passage at 23:28

23:58 Okay, so Anna. Report an error in the passage at 23:58 Highlight the passage at 23:58

24:06 I think what you said was pretty interesting. So in like your example, you're saying, okay, I read something or I'm studying something and I have like a resistance to it, either because you think it doesn't make sense or, gee, that sounds wrong or you're saying it may not feel good or maybe contradicts something. Report an error in the passage at 24:06 Highlight the passage at 24:06

24:27 So then you're saying, okay, if you feel that way, then don't go into it. If all you're getting is more negative about it or more confused or have it just maybe shelve it for a while, is that? Right. So I think when we encounter resistance, I mean, if we can look into it and investigate it and find out why we have that resistance without getting really negative, then it's good to do that, you know, to kind of push through the resistance. Report an error in the passage at 24:27 Highlight the passage at 24:27

24:59 But if our minds are just too negative and not ready to accept it, not ready to look at something really objectively, then it's good to just put it on the shelf, I think. You know, like with Tantra, a lot of people have resistance to Tantra at the beginning. And, you know, and that's fine. It's good to just put that on the shelf because actually, you know, we don't need to practice Tantra right now until we have. Report an error in the passage at 24:59 Highlight the passage at 24:59

25:28 A really good basis of understanding of sūtra. So yeah, so I would say either way, if you can investigate, that's good. Otherwise, just put it on the shelf. Report an error in the passage at 25:28 Highlight the passage at 25:28

25:47 And in the class on awarenesses and knowers, we talked about the seven types of consciousness, how we start with wrong consciousness, and then we move to doubting consciousnesses, and then we move to correct beliefs or correct assumptions. So we need to go through that process. We're all starting from wrong consciousnesses, having a misperception of reality, a misperception of the nature of life and existence. Report an error in the passage at 25:47 Highlight the passage at 25:47

26:18 So then we move from a wrong consciousness over time, after studying and reflecting, to doubt. And then we start with doubt, tending away from. The way that things actually are. And then we move to equal doubt where we're not sure if it's right or not. And then we move to doubt tending toward the correct view. Report an error in the passage at 26:18 Highlight the passage at 26:18

26:43 So that resistance is often the doubt. It's the doubt tending away from the fact. Or it's just the wrong consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 26:43 Highlight the passage at 26:43

26:58 But then there are also some, well, the Buddha said that there are I mean taught like 84,000 different teachings for the different kind of dispositions and interests and personalities of the disciples. So not all practices are appropriate for all people, right? So we may encounter some resistance to certain practices and they may not be right for us. Report an error in the passage at 26:58 Highlight the passage at 26:58

27:28 If a Lama tells us, you need to do this, and our resistance is only because of our self-cherishing, our pride or something like that, then it's good to do it. Anyway, but sometimes we have resistance just because we don't feel any connection toward that practice. And then we shouldn't feel the need to do that practice. If it's something like, you know, Tantra. Report an error in the passage at 27:28 Highlight the passage at 27:28

27:55 Whereas in the Lamrim, You know, it's said that we need to do all of the different steps of the lamrim. All of them are kind of dependent on each other. Hillary? Report an error in the passage at 27:55 Highlight the passage at 27:55

28:11 One other aspect of that, for me, I mean, I'm still sorting this out, but it took me years to realize that some of the things that I might have read were, in fact, slightly contradictory in that different schools and different... Parts of Buddhism do have different beliefs. Before I came to any classes here or encountered any books on Tibetan Buddhism, I was reading various things and I thought, I don't think that's what this other book thought. Report an error in the passage at 28:11 Highlight the passage at 28:11

28:53 I was trying to make it fit and it didn't always. Sometimes I think it takes years and years of realizing that... you know, and Report an error in the passage at 28:53 Highlight the passage at 28:53

29:03 Some of it's from your side and then some of it is there are actual contradictions, maybe not in what's considered the basic Buddhist teachings, but different practices, different sects and different tenant schools do have different definitions for certain things. I was kind of relieved to find out that it wasn't. Report an error in the passage at 29:03 Highlight the passage at 29:03

29:31 You know, just that I was interpreting things that way, that they did explain things differently. Yeah, I mean, it's sometimes said that we should, in the beginning, we should stick to one particular tradition and really study that well. Because if we study a little bit of galupa and a little bit of enigma and a little bit of vipassanā, we can get really confused as to what they're really talking about and what to practice. Report an error in the passage at 29:31 Highlight the passage at 29:31

30:07 So it's encouraged to stick with one tradition until you really understand it and then you can go and read from other traditions and then you have a good basis for understanding that... The presentation might be different, but then we can understand that the essence of the different traditions is fundamentally the same. Report an error in the passage at 30:07 Highlight the passage at 30:07

30:38 It's just different ways of practicing and different ways of looking at things based on the different types of minds that are there. Report an error in the passage at 30:38 Highlight the passage at 30:38

30:53 And I noticed some years ago when I'd read... Let's say some other traditions presentation on emptiness. My mind would think, no, no, that's not right. That's not right. But now when I read it, my mind is more open and I think, oh yeah, well that, it seems like that's actually getting at the same thing. Report an error in the passage at 30:53 Highlight the passage at 30:53

31:15 Maybe oftentimes they're using the same words in a very different way. Or it seems contradictory on the surface, but then... When you get down to it, the essence is really the same. Report an error in the passage at 31:15 Highlight the passage at 31:15

31:35 And that's the advantage of studying, right? Then we have a good basis and then we won't get so confused when we listen to different teachings. I Report an error in the passage at 31:35 Highlight the passage at 31:35

31:55 need to read my handwriting. Report an error in the passage at 31:55 Highlight the passage at 31:55

32:02 So it's really from studying that we learn what are those things that we need to practice, what are those things that we need to cultivate, and what are those things that we need to let go of and leave behind. Report an error in the passage at 32:02 Highlight the passage at 32:02

32:20 Like the Monday. The Monday class, I think, at one point in that text they talk a lot about what is to be practiced and what is to be discarded, what is to be practiced, what is to be discarded. Report an error in the passage at 32:20 Highlight the passage at 32:20

32:36 So if we try to practice without studying those things, it's so easy to go in the wrong direction. Report an error in the passage at 32:36 Highlight the passage at 32:36

32:50 I found for me anyway, I can really get confused easily if I don't kind of stick to a pattern. So if I could read the sutras. The Pāli Tech Sutras and studying Lamrim, I seem to be able to stay on track. But as soon as I start reading something that's esoteric, then I really get confused and sometimes even upset. Report an error in the passage at 32:50 Highlight the passage at 32:50

33:13 Like if I think about Tantra, I'm not ready to think about Tantra, but it actually could upset me because it doesn't make sense. Well, this is wrong, this is wrong. Or some of the other schools, the mind-only school, that's wrong, that's wrong. And I don't want to do that. And that's what it forces me to do, think, well, this is right and that's wrong. And I know that that's really incorrect thinking. So that's why, for me anyway, I have to be really careful. Report an error in the passage at 33:13 Highlight the passage at 33:13

33:42 So it's really counterproductive for me to read a book on Tantra until I'm ready to read it. Yeah. I think that's what, anyway, that's just for me. But I can read all the Pāli texts from the sutras and I'm fine. Yeah. Because they relate directly to Lamrim. Yeah, that's a really good insight. It's really good to know what are those things that really bring up a lot of negative mind for us. Report an error in the passage at 33:42 Highlight the passage at 33:42

34:07 And then it's going to be careful about those things. Maybe, as you said, you're just not ready to practice Tantra and to read about Tantra now. And it may change over time. I noticed in the years when I was studying in Italy, there would be these different periods where... A lot of negativity would come up in people. You encounter a teaching where it would meet a lot of resistance. Report an error in the passage at 34:07 Highlight the passage at 34:07

34:36 And it was just interesting watching people go through that and kind of deciding what to do with that resistance, to just try to work through it or to just put it on the shelf or to just not think about that, just to not study that area. Report an error in the passage at 34:36 Highlight the passage at 34:36

34:57 And I think that it was really useful to see that everybody was going through that, you know, the periods of resistance and the periods of negativity. And it's just normal. And it's good to just watch our minds around that. To Report an error in the passage at 34:57 Highlight the passage at 34:57

35:20 comment on that. Well, actually, it kind of cracks me up when students start arguing with the teachers. You know, it's like, why are you doing that? Mm-hmm. Amazing. They kind of laugh, but, you know, one, you can tell they oftentimes don't know a lot, but they're, you know, pushing, pushing, pushing. And then I do notice that they get very discouraged. Report an error in the passage at 35:20 Highlight the passage at 35:20

35:49 You know, they'll either get angry at the teacher, and it's like, it's almost like you're doing it to yourself. You know, like you do have to be careful. You do have to watch your mind as you were saying. Otherwise, you know, you just build up such a negativity and then... Anger and then the person never comes back, right? And that could happen to one also. Yeah. So, yeah, paying, I guess, attention to your mind. Report an error in the passage at 35:49 Highlight the passage at 35:49

36:17 Yeah. Yeah, and if we think about it, you know, studying the Dharma, practicing the Dharma, it's so much challenging our worldview, our previous worldview. And it's really, it can be so threatening, you know, if we... If we encounter a teaching that we're just not ready to hear, we're not ready to change our minds that quickly, so the negative mind comes up. Report an error in the passage at 36:17 Highlight the passage at 36:17

36:45 Yeah, exactly. It contradicts our own beliefs. And we're not ready to let go of our own beliefs yet. So it can be a lot of that attachment to our own view. Report an error in the passage at 36:45 Highlight the passage at 36:45

37:03 I just have to comment that it's kind of funny because repeatedly I have seen my mind... Report an error in the passage at 37:03 Highlight the passage at 37:03

37:16 Clearly, when people ask questions, because I think, oh, why did they ask that question? And then the teacher just handles it so well and brings out things that I'd never thought of. Report an error in the passage at 37:16 Highlight the passage at 37:16

37:30 And it's just funny because, you know, my mind is immediately criticizing and judging. Report an error in the passage at 37:30 Highlight the passage at 37:30

37:41 Because our questions are really important, right? But other people's questions, they're really irrelevant. Why would they ask those questions? Why would they ask? I don't need to know that. Exactly. Your comment reminds me of every Report an error in the passage at 37:41 Highlight the passage at 37:41

38:11 single person had at least raised their hand. They're really so far ahead of me or something like that. So I was always just absolutely strickened down. Exactly. Just that. Report an error in the passage at 38:11 Highlight the passage at 38:11

· · · silence, 1 minute

38:32 Yeah, I mean, sometimes people, we don't understand people's questions because they're far, far beyond us, right? And we just think, oh, that's a stupid question. How is that relevant? Right. So it is interesting, too. I mean, in my studies, you know, there were about 40 people. Well, there were about 25 kind of on the English side in the seven years of study. Report an error in the passage at 38:32 Highlight the passage at 38:32

39:01 And over time, I mean, at the beginning, You know, I judge people. You know, this person is smart and that person is smart and that person is smart and the other people, you know, not so smart. But over time, you know, when you get to know people, you see, oh, yeah, you know, that person is really insightful in this way or that person really has this talent that I certainly don't have or this person never says anything, but when she opens her mouth, something really profound comes out, you know. Report an error in the passage at 39:01 Highlight the passage at 39:01

39:34 And so I think everybody, by the end, I had appreciation for it. Like you were saying, Jay, it's like, oh yeah, this person really has something really unique to offer. Report an error in the passage at 39:34 Highlight the passage at 39:34

39:51 That's such a pleasure to discover, right? Instead of settling at our initial judgments, our first impression judgments. I think it's such a good sign that the Dharma works. And I think it's also... Report an error in the passage at 39:51 Highlight the passage at 39:51

40:08 If you think about that, not only are you, you start out with their limitations and then you discover their good qualities which shows you your limitations. You know what I mean? Like you really realize what a judgmental so-and-so I am. I mean that person has this special thing or whatever it is. And it's just such a funny thing. Report an error in the passage at 40:08 Highlight the passage at 40:08

40:26 I mean it's such a funny thing. These classes are so valuable for that. That very reason. So many other things. But always, it's so funny to come into a group. I try to be so careful now when I come into a classroom. Of course, I probably do it. I'm sure I do. But to just wait and see. You know what I mean? Let everybody talk on their own. And then, of course, I'll judge them after that. Report an error in the passage at 40:26 Highlight the passage at 40:26

40:51 Right. That judgmental line is just so hard to get rid of. But it's so interesting, though, to just... To know that it's there and to try to let it go. It's like, oh, there it goes again. I don't know anything about that person except the ten words that just came out of their mouth. And I've developed this whole image of this person. I think I've got them. I've put a box around them and they fit in this nice, clean category. Report an error in the passage at 40:51 Highlight the passage at 40:51

41:21 And I know everything that I need to know about this person. And then you get to know them and you find out. We find out our image isn't reality at all. Report an error in the passage at 41:21 Highlight the passage at 41:21

41:34 Exactly. They're secret bodhisattvas. Report an error in the passage at 41:34 Highlight the passage at 41:34

41:50 Since my religious education is slight, I have wrong views about everything. This is also the case if we haven't studied much and we hear a teaching and doubt comes up in our minds. I don't know if that's right. That doesn't sound right. And then we can't develop then a correct conclusion because we haven't studied enough to dispel our doubts. Report an error in the passage at 41:50 Highlight the passage at 41:50

42:20 So with doubt, it's good to study more and more and learn more and reflect and see if we can work through those doubts. Report an error in the passage at 42:20 Highlight the passage at 42:20

42:32 Otherwise, we just hold wrong views. Okay, and once again, this is all because of our self-cherishing mind. Report an error in the passage at 42:32 Highlight the passage at 42:32

42:52 Okay, are people ready for a break now or shall we do another verse? Report an error in the passage at 42:52 Highlight the passage at 42:52

42:58 Okay, we'll do a break. Report an error in the passage at 42:58 Highlight the passage at 42:58

43:07 Habituated to attachment and aversion, I revile everyone opposed to me. Habituated to envy, I slander and deprecate others. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy, ego. Report an error in the passage at 43:07 Highlight the passage at 43:07

43:26 So here, because we have such strong habits of attachment and aversion, we dislike those who are against us. Report an error in the passage at 43:26 Highlight the passage at 43:26

43:42 We look down on others. We find fault with them. Report an error in the passage at 43:42 Highlight the passage at 43:42

43:50 And then due to our envy or jealousy, then we criticize others and we kind of underestimate their... Good qualities. So we exaggerate their negative qualities and we deny their positive qualities. Report an error in the passage at 43:50 Highlight the passage at 43:50

44:17 And then there is this commentary about how we shouldn't judge others and how oftentimes we develop this image of somebody based on, let's say, something negative they've done. And then we hold on to that image and we don't... Actually see how they're changing over the time. And we tend to be really skeptical that others can change. Report an error in the passage at 44:17 Highlight the passage at 44:17

44:51 So in the commentaries it talks about how even Shakyamuni Buddha was once a sentient being. Shakyamuni Buddha had attachment and aversion and jealousy and he became a Buddha. So similarly all of us have the same potential. To change and all of us have the same potential to become a Buddha. And so just as we don't want others to judge us for something we did a long time ago, we shouldn't judge others. Report an error in the passage at 44:51 Highlight the passage at 44:51

45:22 So it's good to try to, as much as we can, to try to see people freshly every time and not bring along all of the old baggage and give them the benefit of the doubt. Report an error in the passage at 45:22 Highlight the passage at 45:22

45:58 this also... In the commentary that talks about how because of our own attachment and aversion, particularly to views and needing to think that our spiritual tradition is the best, maybe we look down on other traditions. We look down on Christianity or Muslims or Judaism. Report an error in the passage at 45:58 Highlight the passage at 45:58

46:31 Or even other traditions of Buddhism, right? And think that ours is the best. We think that, I mean, we have this kind of American mentality of having to have the best, right? Report an error in the passage at 46:31 Highlight the passage at 46:31

46:43 So it's really important to not find fault with the other traditions. You know, the other traditions are also valid. And we just didn't happen to choose them. But it doesn't mean that they're any worse than, you know, the Galupa Tibetan Buddhists. Report an error in the passage at 46:43 Highlight the passage at 46:43

47:23 Verse 86. Report an error in the passage at 47:23 Highlight the passage at 47:23

47:30 Never studying, I despise the vast teaching. Never relying on a guru, I revile religious instruction. Report an error in the passage at 47:30 Highlight the passage at 47:30

47:41 Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy ego. We do not follow proper procedures of study. We say that it is needless to read the vast texts. We feel there is no value in learning from the gurus. We slight oral teachings and think we know the best. Trample him, trample him, dance on the head of this treacherous concept of selfish concern. Report an error in the passage at 47:41 Highlight the passage at 47:41

48:07 Tear out the heart of the self-centered butcher who slaughters our chance to gain final release. So this is similar to the previous verse that we were talking about with regard to studying. Report an error in the passage at 48:07 Highlight the passage at 48:07

48:24 Sometimes... People don't study the Dharma and they think, I just want to practice. I don't want all this intellectual knowledge. I just want to meditate. Report an error in the passage at 48:24 Highlight the passage at 48:24

48:35 And then perhaps look down on people who study, thinking, oh, that's just intellectual stuff. And to realize the nature of reality, we don't need to add more concepts. So some people say that. Report an error in the passage at 48:35 Highlight the passage at 48:35

48:58 Never relying on a guru, I revile religious instruction. So oftentimes we think that we just want to follow our own path. We want to do our own studying and not go to a guru to get advice. Report an error in the passage at 48:58 Highlight the passage at 48:58

49:21 And, you know, we just want to follow our own way. And that's self-cherishing too. You know, it can be quite threatening too. Reveal ourselves to a guru and subject ourselves to what the guru might say or what the guru might ask us to do. Report an error in the passage at 49:21 Highlight the passage at 49:21

49:41 So it's good to wait until we're actually ready, but it's said that we can't achieve enlightenment without a guru. Report an error in the passage at 49:41 Highlight the passage at 49:41

49:55 It's like if we're trying to travel somewhere where we've never been before, right? Report an error in the passage at 49:55 Highlight the passage at 49:55

50:01 And not asking anybody for directions and just following our own way. So we've never been to Buddhahood before and so we need some help figuring out how to get there. Because we're so habituated to the self-cherishing mind, we're so habituated to following our own attachments that... We don't have the wisdom to know what's really the right way to go, to get rid of our afflictions, to get rid of our self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 50:01 Highlight the passage at 50:01

50:41 So it's really important to rely on an external guru for a while to help us cut through the self-cherishing mind, to cut through our afflictions. Report an error in the passage at 50:41 Highlight the passage at 50:41

50:57 You know, it's said that the guru is a mirror for us. It's not... It's not necessarily comfortable to go see the guru, but they mirror back to us the state of our minds. I know whenever I go to ask questions to a guru, I get nervous. Oh, you can see my mind. Pure mind, pure mind, positive mind, positive mind. Report an error in the passage at 50:57 Highlight the passage at 50:57

51:26 But my experience of getting advice from gurus over the years, you know and Report an error in the passage at 51:26 Highlight the passage at 51:26

51:33 Is that oftentimes when I've gotten the advice, oh you know do Lama Tsongkhapa's Guru Yoga and I thought oh okay well if that's what I'm supposed to do you know and I do it. But inevitably after doing the practice for a long period of time I would see the benefit and I would see that oh okay well that's why he told me to do that. Report an error in the passage at 51:33 Highlight the passage at 51:33

51:55 But oftentimes at the time when I get that advice I think. Where did that come from? That's not what I expected. That's not what I wanted to do. Report an error in the passage at 51:55 Highlight the passage at 51:55

52:08 But I would say, you know, from a real guru, a real qualified guru, that always I could see later that it was beneficial to follow the advice. Report an error in the passage at 52:08 Highlight the passage at 52:08

52:41 Right, and Gishinawang Darge also says that without cultivating a well-qualified spiritual guide, A relationship with a well-qualified spiritual guide will gain no realizations. So that's a pretty strong statement. Report an error in the passage at 52:41 Highlight the passage at 52:41

53:09 We also have this tendency in this culture to think that we can just gain all our knowledge from reading. I'll read a book and I can learn everything that I need to know. But there's this great blessing from going to... You know, the oral teachings. It's very much an oral lineage. And especially when we receive the blessing from someone who has the lineage, you know, we receive the teachings, then it's like the blessing moistens our mind stream to help us help the information go in more deeply. Report an error in the passage at 53:09 Highlight the passage at 53:09

53:54 And I've noticed that that's true for me. You know, if I've, like, missed a teaching and just read a transcript, That the knowledge doesn't stay in my mind. Somehow it just kind of, you know, it's like I'm an empty vessel. It's much harder for it to go in than if I've gone to the teachings, even if I felt like I didn't understand anything during the teachings. But there's something that sticks, even if we don't think that it does. Report an error in the passage at 53:54 Highlight the passage at 53:54

54:27 And that knowledge really helps when we go to teachings that are really difficult. Some of Gishadakpa's teachings are just so hard to really see and understand at the moment, but over time we can see the benefit. Report an error in the passage at 54:27 Highlight the passage at 54:27

54:47 Tim's going to go to Italy for studying, so that's a good thing to keep in mind. Because there are so many, so many, so many, so many classes where I just sit there and I think, I have no idea. What was talked about today? I don't think I got anything. So that's our kind of tendency toward thinking that we need some immediate gratification. Report an error in the passage at 54:47 Highlight the passage at 54:47

55:17 If I don't understand it now, then it's useless. And a lot of people do that. They reject a teaching. They go to one teaching and they think, oh, I didn't get anything out of that. I'm not going to go back. And not really realizing the deeper blessings that are happening. Tim. I was just going to say that. Report an error in the passage at 55:17 Highlight the passage at 55:17

55:38 Geshe kind of made the same point in class one night. He's saying that you're getting so much information that just kind of persevere and eventually it'll start to make sense. But right now just kind of keep in mind that you just need to absorb at this point. So it might not make, it probably won't make a lot of sense, which it doesn't a lot of times. Report an error in the passage at 55:38 Highlight the passage at 55:38

56:01 But yeah, his kind of point was like, you know, you're kind of at a crossroad and you don't know where the road's leading, but you just keep going. Report an error in the passage at 56:01 Highlight the passage at 56:01

56:08 Yeah, yeah. So having a little bit of trust in the process, in the path. That's where refuge helps. You know, we've taken refuge because we believe in this path. And so the ups and downs, you know, will end to counter times when we don't understand where we're going and why we're doing this. Report an error in the passage at 56:08 Highlight the passage at 56:08

56:31 But since we've taken refuge and we have some trust and belief in the path, we can kind of ride through those more difficult times. Report an error in the passage at 56:31 Highlight the passage at 56:31

56:42 Especially the teacher, too. Yeah. Yeah, really important not to develop a negative mind toward the teacher. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 56:42 Highlight the passage at 56:42

57:04 Okay. So I'm going to read you something from Samlo Geshe Kelsang's commentary. He says, Therefore, it is very important for Dharma practitioners to study as much as possible. So then he gives an example of two sincere Dharma practitioners. One of them studies very well. and knows how to practice. The one who has studied very well about the Dharma, all the texts and scriptures explaining how to develop wisdom, will overcome his delusions or afflictions faster and attain more realizations than the other who has not studied so well about Dharma, although they apply the same level of effort to practice. Report an error in the passage at 57:04 Highlight the passage at 57:04

57:55 Having given this example, we must not mistake that there is no benefit if we practice with little Dharma knowledge or do not know very well how to practice. There is still benefit even though one does not know how to practice very well. However, the important point is that if one knows very well in practices, one can gain realizations quicker and overcome the delusions faster. Report an error in the passage at 57:55 Highlight the passage at 57:55

58:23 Therefore, it is very important to read as much Dharma texts as possible and to consult others whenever we have any doubts or do not understand. Report an error in the passage at 58:23 Highlight the passage at 58:23

58:33 And I've heard that as well in Dharamsala. There's a tradition of a lot of people doing solitary retreat in the retreat huts in the hills. And I've heard that the people who... Went through their Geshe studies and studied a lot for many years and then went into solitary retreat. Had realizations much more quickly than the people who just stayed in retreat and didn't do much study. Report an error in the passage at 58:33 Highlight the passage at 58:33

59:07 And it kind of makes sense because if you haven't studied then we practice this way and we practice that way and we don't practice in the most effective way. And to realize emptiness, right? We can't realize emptiness unless we've done some study. Yeah, Anna. Report an error in the passage at 59:07 Highlight the passage at 59:07

59:29 When they do that retreat that you're speaking about, do they also do analytical meditation? Yeah. So then you would need to have studied to be able to do analytical meditation, correct? Yeah. Yeah, I mean analytical meditation is a really, really important part of our practice. The stabilizing meditation has... Report an error in the passage at 59:29 Highlight the passage at 59:29

59:55 The calm abiding has limited benefits. Stabilizing meditation by itself won't give us any realizations. That will give us a stable mind and probably fewer afflictions will come up, but it's not going to remove any of the potential for the afflictions to arise. So when the concentration degenerates, then the afflictions come up strongly again. Report an error in the passage at 59:55 Highlight the passage at 59:55

1:00:21 So we just need to do the stabilizing meditation, the calm abiding, as a basis for then doing analytical meditation to penetrate the different subjects deeply. Emptiness, bodhicitta, all of the topics in the lamrim. So in order to get realizations we need a stable mind and then on the basis of that then analyze the particular topic and then we can have a strong realization. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:21 Highlight the passage at 1:00:21

1:00:53 And without studying, you know, sometimes people think all you need to do is blank out your mind or, you know, space out or just meditate on your breath and that's all you need to do, you know. But according to this tradition, that's not enough. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:53 Highlight the passage at 1:00:53

1:01:30 That one doesn't need to be recorded, right? Yeah. Yeah, if it was that easy, then, you know, many people would be enlightened by now, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:01:30 Highlight the passage at 1:01:30

1:01:55 Yeah, and I was talking with the one guy who grew up with the Dharma and he's maybe 50 something years old now. And so he's been studying the Dharma for almost his entire life, 50 years. And he says that now I know how to practice. You know, in the past I practiced wrongly. And I think, I mean, I noticed that. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:55 Highlight the passage at 1:01:55

1:02:20 In my mind, over time, I think, oh, okay, well, I didn't know how to practice then, but now I think I know how to practice. And then later, well, I didn't know how to practice then, but now I know how to practice. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:20 Highlight the passage at 1:02:20

1:02:35 It's what I was talking about earlier, about how it's so easy to mistake the way of practicing. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:35 Highlight the passage at 1:02:35

1:02:43 The more we study and the more we practice, the more our practice becomes refined. And also, I mean, Report an error in the passage at 1:02:43 Highlight the passage at 1:02:43

1:02:50 The more our practice becomes correct, I think. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:50 Highlight the passage at 1:02:50

1:03:07 And then the llamas can really help us put us back on track. If we're going off in the wrong direction, they can give us advice and tell us, well, don't focus on that so much and instead focus on the lamrim or something like that. Usually they tell us to go back to the lamrim because the lamrim is the basis for everything. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:07 Highlight the passage at 1:03:07

1:03:34 Verse 87. Instead of explaining the scriptures, I falsely set up my own system. Not having mastered pure vision, I curse and yell. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy, ego. We do not explain the canon, but falsely set out our own ideas. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:34 Highlight the passage at 1:03:34

1:03:59 Though our vision is not purified, our speech is highly critical of others. Dance on the head of this ruinous conception. Slay the heart of the slaughtering enemy self. So here is, instead of explaining the real teachings, the real Dharma, we're just, we're explaining our own kind of system. Maybe we've had some visions or what we think are, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:59 Highlight the passage at 1:03:59

1:04:30 The real insights that aren't based on the Dharma practice and study. We think that's it and we explain that as being the Dharma. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:30 Highlight the passage at 1:04:30

1:04:41 And that would be because of our self-cherishing mind. And then not having mastered pure vision, I curse and yell. Or basically our speech is critical of others. So one of the practices in Tantra is to develop pure view. Remembering that all appearances, everything that we see is just mistaken. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:41 Highlight the passage at 1:04:41

1:05:13 Nothing exists solidly the way that we think that it does. Our judgments are always wrong in terms of they don't tell the whole picture. all right Report an error in the passage at 1:05:13 Highlight the passage at 1:05:13

1:05:30 so based on our kind of incorrect mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:30 Highlight the passage at 1:05:30

1:05:38 Kind of impure view, then we become critical of others. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:38 Highlight the passage at 1:05:38

1:05:47 So once again, we talked about this, it's good to try to reserve judgment or at least not believe in our judgmental mind so much. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:47 Highlight the passage at 1:05:47

1:06:01 My friend has this bumper sticker, you don't have to believe everything you think. And that's a really good one, right? All sorts of thoughts will come up, but we don't have to believe in them. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:01 Highlight the passage at 1:06:01

1:06:17 They're just habits. I mean, I just notice, I mean, it's so interesting because, you know, I might be having a really good day and my mind is really happy and suddenly, like, this judgment will just come up. Say I'll be in the airport and, you know, somebody will walk by, you know, with a screaming kid and, you know, the judgmental mind, you know, comes up. I'm thinking, where does that, you know, where did that come from? Report an error in the passage at 1:06:17 Highlight the passage at 1:06:17

1:06:42 You know, there's nothing wrong. With the world today, everything is going fine and suddenly the negative mind comes up. And that's just the force of habit, right? So just try to let it go and think, okay, there it goes again. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:42 Highlight the passage at 1:06:42

1:07:00 Jay? Your bumper sticker comment reminded me that there's this Republican bumper sticker. I think it's a liberal bumper sticker referring to Republicanism. It says, if you're not outraged, you're not paying attention. And I have seen this many times. And I think that the good... Buddhist bumper stick would be if you're outraged you're not paying attention. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:00 Highlight the passage at 1:07:00

1:07:24 You should design your own bumper stickers. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:24 Highlight the passage at 1:07:24

1:07:51 And here in the commentaries there's this comment again about how we should have pure thoughts even towards other tenant systems and practices and other religious systems instead of judging them. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:51 Highlight the passage at 1:07:51

1:08:12 Verse 88. Yeah. You know what I mean? So I thought, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:12 Highlight the passage at 1:08:12

1:07:26 few more stickers. And sell them here. All right. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:26 Highlight the passage at 1:07:26

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:08:14 Without condemning sacrilegious activities, I launch numerous criticism against all the Buddha's words. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer, false construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy ego. We do not criticize actions which are non-dharmic. We offer instead various criticisms for dharmic explanation which is excellent throughout. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:14 Highlight the passage at 1:08:14

1:08:38 Dance on the head of this ruinous conception. Slay the heart of the slaughtering enemy self. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:38 Highlight the passage at 1:08:38

1:08:46 So here is we do not criticize actions which are non-dharmic. So maybe we do something non-virtuous and we rejoice in it. It's like someone who hurt us, let's say we get back at them, we say something mean and we feel happy about that instead of... You know, regretting it and purifying it. Or we kill a mosquito that bites us and we feel happy about that. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:46 Highlight the passage at 1:08:46

1:09:28 I mean, I find it is really tricky to watch movies, you know, especially if the hero is, you know, killing the enemy, you know, and there's this huge manipulation of, you know, you're supposed to be happy when the enemy is killed. And I see my mind going there. And then trying to let go of that. It's such a habit. I remember there was this movie, Ocean's Eleven, that was out years ago. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:28 Highlight the passage at 1:09:28

1:10:01 And all the protagonists are these thieves, right? But it's this really glamorous movie. And at the end, when they steal the money, you're happy. And I was really disturbed in my own mind, thinking... and Report an error in the passage at 1:10:01 Highlight the passage at 1:10:01

1:10:19 You know, I don't think I should watch those kind of movies because here I am rejoicing in negative actions and we're creating imprints. And there is a lot, a lot, a lot of that. So even movies, it's good for us to watch out and be careful about the kinds of movies we go see. And I noticed that... All those movies, everything that we've ever perceived is an imprint in the mind. And when you're in retreat for a long time, a lot of that stuff comes back and you think, oh, that wasn't just some mindless little fun. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:19 Highlight the passage at 1:10:19

1:10:56 It's created an imprint there. Good to be careful. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:56 Highlight the passage at 1:10:56

1:11:07 me of this because of Ocean's Eleven, but I think... Also in those movies too, and I catch myself thinking those kinds of things too. I think, oh my gosh, I'm really rooting for this or that or something. But I think oftentimes in movies too, for instance, all of those thieves are really handsome and we're rooting for the handsome person to kill the ugly person or whatever. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:07 Highlight the passage at 1:11:07

1:11:23 And there's really bad habits that we're constantly ingraining in ourselves, even if it's just some vicarious thing. But that's an awful, awful thing. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:23 Highlight the passage at 1:11:23

1:11:33 Out comes the bad guy and he's got a big nose with a warrant on it or something and immediately you're annoyed by him. And that's such a bad habit to get used to, to go like, oh, well, he's evil or bad or unlikable. And I find myself doing that on the train. I go on the train and I'm like, who's this guy? You know what I mean? Or whatever. Just that gut reaction thing. And it really disturbs me. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:33 Highlight the passage at 1:11:33

1:11:53 And there's no question that some of that conditioning comes from these things, these ways I've let myself be manipulated. I mean, a lot of it is just my own conditioning throughout many lives. But there's no doubt in my mind that popular culture has had an effect on my judgment. Yeah, definitely. And it's so good to be aware of that. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:53 Highlight the passage at 1:11:53

1:12:14 And then we can make choices now whether or not to go see those movies that really manipulate our minds. It's so much nicer to see an uplifting movie. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:14 Highlight the passage at 1:12:14

1:12:36 Yeah, in retreat, things coming up. And I noticed... you know? Yeah. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:36 Highlight the passage at 1:12:36

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:12:41 I don't know if it's exactly the same, but in watching lots of people die frequently in the last days or something as their mind is beginning to deteriorate, all these past things come out and they're talking and seeing things and sometimes... aware that it's things that actually happen and other times people say well that didn't happen and i'm i kind of wonder whether it was some other life or you know it could just be it's obviously some imprint anyway so i think that's one more Report an error in the passage at 1:12:41 Highlight the passage at 1:12:41

1:13:14 know, a little bit of evidence that it's good to watch what goes in because going to be there. With music, it's like that too. I noticed that I remember I was singing a song, you know, because music, you know, it's so automatic and it's the tune oftentimes. And then if you pay attention to the words, it's like, oh my gosh. And, you know, and then the songs just come up automatically and, you know, and I would sing to myself and I'd think, you know, what, what am I doing? Report an error in the passage at 1:13:14 Highlight the passage at 1:13:14

1:13:52 You know, so I Report an error in the passage at 1:13:52 Highlight the passage at 1:13:52

1:13:58 remember when I was in fifth grade, my favorite song was Play That Funky Music. Do you know that song? And I just loved singing. I had, you know, singing it and I had no idea what the words meant, you know. And now I listen to the words and I think, oh my gosh, that was my favorite song. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:58 Highlight the passage at 1:13:58

1:14:26 Yeah, I had to catch you. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:26 Highlight the passage at 1:14:26

1:14:34 Yeah, but you have a good time on your way. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:34 Highlight the passage at 1:14:34

1:14:48 And then the... it. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:48 Highlight the passage at 1:14:48

1:14:52 Right, so rather than criticizing our non-virtuous actions, we instead criticize those Dharma teachings that we don't agree with, that we have resistance toward. And Report an error in the passage at 1:14:52 Highlight the passage at 1:14:52

1:15:11 that's due to our self-cherishing mind and really the lack of wisdom that we have. And the next verse is related. Having no shame about things I should be ashamed of, I am perversely ashamed of the Dharma. Which is not something shameful. Roar and thunder on the head of the destroyer. False construction. Mortally strike at the heart of the butcher, the enemy ego. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:11 Highlight the passage at 1:15:11

1:15:38 So having no shame about the things I should be shamed of are non-virtue. Instead, perhaps we're ashamed of, for example, someone who is renounced. Let's say who has committed themselves to the Dharma and renounced. Don't have any status, don't have any money. Maybe they wear raggedy clothes and we may look down on them or feel ashamed of them. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:38 Highlight the passage at 1:15:38

1:16:13 I remember in India, going to India and seeing all these sadhus, these skinny little sadhus on the side of the Ganges River meditating. And I remember having... Instead of having this enormous respect for them, their renunciation, I remember having this little aversion come up because they were dirty and they were skinny. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:13 Highlight the passage at 1:16:13

1:16:41 That's kind of frightening, but that's our conditioning. Also, there's a story about Milarepa's sister. Milarepa was meditating in the cave for many, many years and he was starving. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:41 Highlight the passage at 1:16:41

1:17:00 His sister went up to see him and he was just so skinny and just in these rags and he was dirty. And she was ashamed of him because he was not clean and well bathed and all of that. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:00 Highlight the passage at 1:17:00

1:17:15 So we need to be careful about that as well. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:15 Highlight the passage at 1:17:15

1:17:22 So we're doing the opposite if we're not ashamed by the non-virtue and we are ashamed of things that are virtuous. We are kind of against our conceptions of the way things should be. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:22 Highlight the passage at 1:17:22

1:17:47 And then Geshe Sopa says, you know, this addresses the person who deprecates religious teachers and the teachings. These people do not know the difference between right and wrong. And so we had talked in the previous class about the mental factor of wisdom, which discriminates the faults and qualities. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:47 Highlight the passage at 1:17:47

1:18:12 And so that's what we're doing on the path is... Again and again, trying to distinguish between those things that we should practice and those things that we should abandon. And maybe we think, oh yeah, well that's obvious. It's obvious we're supposed to practice virtue. It's obvious we're supposed to abandon non-virtue. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:12 Highlight the passage at 1:18:12

1:18:34 But when we actually look at our actions and we really look at our minds, we can see that oftentimes we're cultivating more self-cherishing. We're cultivating more attachment. I mean, attachment is such an insidious one because attachment, there's a lot of pleasure associated with attachment. So it seems like, you know, there's nothing wrong with attachment. That's good. Whereas, you know, anger, irritation, jealousy, we can see, okay, well, you know, that's obviously negative. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:34 Highlight the passage at 1:18:34

1:19:05 We need to let go of those. But, you know, but we need to be careful about the ones that feel good. There's a widely held philosophy that if it feels good, it must be right. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:05 Highlight the passage at 1:19:05

1:19:24 And the Dharma wouldn't quite agree with that. So it's good in our own minds to see, okay, well, what is it that we need to cultivate and what is it that we need to abandon? Report an error in the passage at 1:19:24 Highlight the passage at 1:19:24

1:19:43 You mentioned Millaripa, who's kind of my hero, because he's not attached to not getting in trouble. I mean, he basically... right. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:43 Highlight the passage at 1:19:43

1:19:52 He doesn't tell people what they want to hear necessarily. He tells them the truth. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:52 Highlight the passage at 1:19:52

1:20:01 And I've always been one to not want to get in trouble and kind of be afraid to tell people. So I really admire the courage that it takes to not be attached to getting in trouble or upsetting people. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:01 Highlight the passage at 1:20:01

1:20:19 The true bodhicitta attitude, yeah. He tells them truth. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:19 Highlight the passage at 1:20:19

1:20:24 Yeah, that's a strong one, I think, for a lot of us, is not wanting to create, you know, not wanting people to dislike us, not wanting to create, yeah, create friction. It's nice to just maintain this kind of nice harmony, even if it's just superficial harmony, you know. But oftentimes then resentment kind of bubbles underneath it. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:24 Highlight the passage at 1:20:24

1:20:50 So, slowly, slowly. I think the stronger our compassion and the stronger our kind of love for others, the stronger our bodhicitta, then the more courageous we are just saying what needs to be said as opposed to what others want to hear. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:50 Highlight the passage at 1:20:50

1:21:10 I find it's really helpful because I really don't like conflict. I really don't like unpleasantness. So I find it's really helpful to do Tom Len on it, like breathing in unpleasantness and breathing in. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:10 Highlight the passage at 1:21:10

1:21:25 Like imagining that somebody gets really angry at me and breathing that in instead of like having this aversion, you know, and this fear of somebody really getting angry to breathe it in and then breathing out, you know, kind of goodness and happiness and peace to the other. So Tong Lin can be very, very good for overcoming our aversions and our fears as well, I think. Tong Lin can be used for a lot of different things. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:25 Highlight the passage at 1:21:25

1:21:57 But then if I'm actually in the situation where someone's about to explode at me, it might be different. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:57 Highlight the passage at 1:21:57

1:22:06 Well, I think it's still useful having done that. It starts creating that courage, but then the real test is when you're in that situation and you see what actually happens. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:06 Highlight the passage at 1:22:06

1:22:20 One of the reasons, at least while speaking about myself, and I do try to practice and try to be mindful, and I can usually be mindful before. Everything goes out of the Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:20 Highlight the passage at 1:22:20

1:22:28 day ends, but, and, and I can the day starts, but the minute someone comes me at work and says, God, that Joan is such a, you know, and I'm Right. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:28 Highlight the passage at 1:22:28

1:22:39 not because I even think so because I don't want to upset them you know what I mean that's how much I don't like to upset people in front of me let's destroy this other person if that makes you feel good I'm not totally Report an error in the passage at 1:22:39 Highlight the passage at 1:22:39

1:22:53 But I mean, I do practice and it's so funny how fast and how deeply rooted my previous habits are. Because I really have convinced myself that that's not serving what the main thing I want to do with my life is. But come noon, I'm like, but let's just go do it anyway or whatever. It's just so crazy. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:53 Highlight the passage at 1:22:53

1:23:16 Yeah, I think part of the issue is the discomfort associated with not agreeing with someone. And we need to learn to just be with the discomfort and try to be okay with the discomfort. Because I find that for me, I have this habitual, well I have this relationship with my brother who's like my whole life has criticized me. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:16 Highlight the passage at 1:23:16

1:23:50 And so I've tiptoed around him my whole life. I hope he never listens to this teaching. And I notice, you know, and so when I do spend time with him now, I try to not tiptoe around him. I try to say, I mean, I deliberately don't push his buttons, right? But I don't hold back from just being kind of natural. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:50 Highlight the passage at 1:23:50

1:24:14 You know, risking that he may get really irritated at me, you know, anything. And he does. Inevitably, he'll get irritated if I laugh too loud or, you know, anything, you know, really small. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:14 Highlight the passage at 1:24:14

1:24:27 And it's interesting to watch my mind and just see. I can feel his irritation and how my mind wants to just kind of jump in and make everything better. And it's really helpful to have done meditation and just be with that irritation and just try to act natural and not jump in and make everything all better. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:27 Highlight the passage at 1:24:27

1:24:48 And that can help so much in not reacting to our habits of everything needs to be fine, everybody needs to be happy around me. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:48 Highlight the passage at 1:24:48

1:25:01 Just learning to be with a discomfort. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:01 Highlight the passage at 1:25:01

1:25:06 One of the things that has helped me, one of the practice things that does help me, and I don't always just completely forsake myself, but at Lama Zopa, with his dedications, he always writes in that, just as I am empty from my own side, the merit is empty from its own. And so that's something I try to keep with me on other things, just like the box is empty from its own side or whatever. We all probably do things like that. And that helps sometimes. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:06 Highlight the passage at 1:25:06

1:25:32 With me with situations because at least it reminds me in those situations that if I was as close to actual reality as I'd like to be, then worrying about irritating others wouldn't even be an issue. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:32 Highlight the passage at 1:25:32

1:25:47 I'm attaching this huge amount of reality to this and importance to this thing. So anyway, but sometimes if I have been thinking of that recently enough, I do avert these situations. Because that level of irritation in another doesn't quite get to me. Which I think is also a really powerful statement about ignorance being the root of the whole business. Because sometimes when I can sort of be connected to what little bit I know about that, I can sail through some of those situations. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:47 Highlight the passage at 1:25:47

1:26:15 You know, a few small ones. Yeah, yeah. And as you said, if you do it enough, if you think about emptiness enough, then it becomes powerful. And I think that's really key, is with emptiness we have to contemplate it again and again and again and again. Otherwise it just goes. Our habits of seeing things as solidly and actually existing out there are just so strong. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:15 Highlight the passage at 1:26:15

1:26:44 And things actually look that way, so we need to counteract. That the appearances by thinking about emptiness again and again and again and again. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:44 Highlight the passage at 1:26:44

1:26:56 All of this seems to relate to me to everything we're talking about tonight, which is that's why I think we have these bad practices of being judgmental on the train or wherever it is that we do these things. And it's partially because, you know, actually I don't really watch a lot of TV, but there are many things I do a lot more than I do Dharma, you know. And so what I mean is that's my practice. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:56 Highlight the passage at 1:26:56

1:27:17 So it's just no wonder that those are the things that... That come to me as my sort of set of tools when I'm dealing with reality, you know, because it's the thing I keep doing over and over and over. Yeah, exactly. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:17 Highlight the passage at 1:27:17

1:27:36 I mean, even if we are practicing all the time, you know, these habits still come up. So if we keep reinforcing those habits again and again, it makes it even worse. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:36 Highlight the passage at 1:27:36

1:27:54 No, Report an error in the passage at 1:27:54 Highlight the passage at 1:27:54

1:28:03 but slowly, slowly. Yeah, I know. Yeah. I mean, we forget at times during the day, but probably the way that you are now is a lot different than the way it was five years ago. Actually, there's no point in mind that that's true. And I am much more mindful than I used to be, and I do remember to take refuge in the morning. And it's just words, but it's there. Sometimes I'm convinced that by taking refuge multiple times in the day, at the very least, every once in a while I hear it. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:03 Highlight the passage at 1:28:03

1:28:33 And I'm like, oh, that's right. You're supposed to do something with us. You know what I mean? So no, the Dharma has changed everything. And then slowly, slowly those positive habits will get stronger and the negative habits will get less. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:33 Highlight the passage at 1:28:33

1:28:50 But it's so easy to see where we keep falling short. I mean, it's good to know that, but good to not dwell on it. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:50 Highlight the passage at 1:28:50

1:29:13 And then I just wanted to mention, actually maybe we've talked about this in the past, but it's said that if we practice... If we really practice the Dharma sincerely, so this is related to the Milarepas or the people who give up everything to practice the Dharma and they don't have much money, they don't have a job and all of that. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:13 Highlight the passage at 1:29:13

1:29:37 And it's said that if we practice really sincerely, we will never be short. We'll hear Gishi Darge says, we will never be short of strength and well-wishers. For our lamas, the yidams, the dakas, dakinis and dharmapalas will support us. So sincere practitioners will never die of starvation. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:37 Highlight the passage at 1:29:37

1:30:01 All right, so the story goes, right, Buddha Shakyamuni dedicated a bunch of his merit so that sincere practitioners will never starve. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:01 Highlight the passage at 1:30:01

1:30:18 But it's one thing to know that it's another thing to live by that and to have that trust. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:18 Highlight the passage at 1:30:18

1:30:34 Good for this week. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:34 Highlight the passage at 1:30:34

1:30:40 We'll dedicate the merit. Unless people have any more questions? Okay. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:40 Highlight the passage at 1:30:40

1:30:50 There seems to be, and Mel Rapa does this, but there's other great meditators too, there seems to be a tradition that if the more you don't need, you need less, the less you have. And so that you finally hardly ever even need to eat. You could live in a cave. You wouldn't need many clothes if you don't have them. You wouldn't freeze to death. And you wouldn't need to eat if you didn't have any food. You would be okay. I was just wondering about that. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:50 Highlight the passage at 1:30:50

1:31:25 Am I right in that as a tradition and there's truth to that? So you don't really need to worry. Well, I mean, I don't know about the not needing to eat thing. I mean, it's true that if we give up our attachments, right, we'll have... A more and more simple life. We won't need so much. But we do have a body, so it needs to be nourished in some way. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:25 Highlight the passage at 1:31:25

1:31:57 You know, even Milarepa had to eat. He ate nettles. I mean, there is a practice that's called chulen, where you just eat these pills and you don't eat anything. People can survive for months and months and months on that. But they're taking these pills, which have some special blessing. But if you just stop eating, even Buddha Shakyamuni, when his story, before he became a Buddha, he was with the ascetics for six years before he attained enlightenment and had stopped eating and things like that. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:57 Highlight the passage at 1:31:57

1:32:34 He was just too weak to practice. So he actually took some milk and gained some strength. The ascetics shunned him. So that's how the Buddha kind of established the middle way, that we shouldn't go to the extreme of denying the actual needs of our body. So we do need to eat, I think. But otherwise, we can let go of attachment to a lot of things. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:34 Highlight the passage at 1:32:34

1:33:03 So the more attachment we let go of, the easier it will be in retreat. Because we won't have all of these things. But does that address your question? I don't think there's too much in those little pills. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:03 Highlight the passage at 1:33:03

1:33:21 Thinking about all we eat and all we have and all the clothes we have, we don't really need all those attachments to practice. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:21 Highlight the passage at 1:33:21

1:33:32 We could buy on so little. That's what I was thinking. I mean, you can, you can, we... Report an error in the passage at 1:33:32 Highlight the passage at 1:33:32

1:33:38 And some people do, you know, some people are incredibly renounced and have very little. There was this Thai monk who was here. Well, actually he was, there was a, during the relic tour, it's an American monk who trained in the Thai Forest Monastery in Thailand. And he had, you know, he was just living in the forest, you know, just with his begging bowl and his robes. And, you know, it seemed like he really had some qualities. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:38 Highlight the passage at 1:33:38

1:34:08 He was so peaceful. I remember just noticing him and how really centered and peaceful he looked. Everybody else was running around, you know, kind of frenetically. And here he was just this simple monk who was here with almost nothing. So yeah, we can all learn to do that. Report an error in the passage at 1:34:08 Highlight the passage at 1:34:08

1:34:37 We'll dedicate the merit, page six. Report an error in the passage at 1:34:37 Highlight the passage at 1:34:37