← B. Alan Wallace

Four Applications Of Mindfulness Retreat 2013 with B. Alan Wallace (part 28)

B. Alan Wallace · 2013 · 1 h 8 min · Vajrayana Institute via Internet Archive

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  • 4:23

    So there's the analogy. The plate is your whole lifestyle. That's what you're spending 16 hours a day doing. And your meditation is 40 minutes, an hour, maybe something like that. And so then we can say, well, obviously, every moment is worth every other moment. There's no moments of the day we say, oh, this is the really important one and the rest of them are garbage. Each moment is of equal value. It all has to do with what we put into it. And so then we can ask, all right, well, why don't we take this from the ground up, from the foundation up? And that is if...

  • 7:14

    And so how to elevate then these qualities? Well, by seasoning the day, by generally just bringing as much mindfulness, as much presence, As much attentiveness as we engage with other people, other sentient beings, to see that the silly image that I like is filling a bathtub with water. And when you do so, you see all the water is coming up evenly. You don't have it like that. It's obvious, it's silly, but I like it. So likewise, the emphasis on daily spiritual practice.

  • 20:22

    And that is in terms of evaluating how the practice is going. On the one hand, I've encountered many, many times in teachings I've received, meditation manuals that I've read and studied practice, that when in the meditation, when you're doing the practice, then simply do the practice and release your hopes and fears, future thinking, how long will it take and all that kind of stuff. Release it, release it and just do it, just be right there. And let that be the full-time job. Devote yourself to it. So I've heard it many times. There's a lot of wisdom there on the one hand.

  • 25:13

    But there's no foreign import here. So in the course of sound, well-grounded, appropriate practice, wise practice, this will catalyze eruptions. And we never know what's going to come up. But if we really are checking, we say, you know, I know that I was doing the practice correctly. And the practice is sound. It's not some crazy thing that I'm trying to experiment with. It really makes sense. Then we can simply assume this is going to be the case, that in the course of sound practice, this will catalyze eruptions, and some of them, not all.

  • 37:26

    It's rudimentary, but we've got a good start here. For insight, for wisdom, knowledge, understanding, we've got a good start here. This is really balanced in that context. But to have the overall practice balanced, then practice is with cultivation of the heart. It goes horizontally, sentient being to sentient being, including animals, of course. But loving, kindness, compassion, it's horizontal, it's opening the heart to our fellow sentient beings. And then for those who are so predisposed, have the ability and inclination, there's also what I call the vertical axis.

0:03 Well, that's all. Any questions or comments? It's rather a full day. Everything clear? Yes, please. Report an error

0:37 That's always an option and then you can just stay in saṃsāra forever. Report an error

0:43 That's the thing about Dharma, you know, once you kind of get it, you see there's really no option that's worthwhile at all. And so whether it takes three countless eons, okay, three countless eons, at least in the right direction, rather than three countless eons going around in a round circle, you know, forever. Report an error

0:57 So do you find that, have you explored a variety of methods and do you find they're all equally ineffective? Report an error

1:19 Nice, nice. Report an error

1:28 Lots of Report an error

1:41 traveling. If we could only have kind of a psychic video camera of where you've been. Craig's tours. Report an error

1:53 Right, right, right. Well, I think it's very kind of you to be so candid with everybody because this is going to be comforting for everybody else in the room. You're not alone. You're not alone. But we can just kind of hunker down and ask basic questions. And that is the overall ideal of cultivating a greater sense of ease, of relaxation, of poise, presence, worth cultivating or not. Report an error

2:25 If it's difficult, I mean, difficult or easy, whatever it is, but is it worth cultivating or not? That's a good question, I think. And then in terms of simply developing one to Tencent skills, the ability to focus on whatever we wish to focus on. It could be a conversation, it could be art, it could be business, it could be water skiing, but the ability to focus at will and cultivating that ability so we can do so for greater durability and with less wear and tear. Report an error

2:53 Is that worth doing or not? Does it depend on some kind of a belief system that we're feeling a bit dodgy about? You know, maybe, maybe not. And then finally, the third quality of clarity. Is it worth cultivating or are we kind of happy to have a kind of a dull, lackadaisical, spaced out mind? And so if we ask really, those are not religious questions. They're really, you know, I would call them psychological if you like, but I think they're really kind of about our very presence in the world. Report an error

3:18 And if each of those is so self-evident that it doesn't even need any discussion, then the question to my mind comes not, It isn't whether I should do it or not, because the not is so stupid. But rather, okay, I'm going to do it. And the question is, how can I be more effective? That's the only question that lingers in my mind. That's just my perspective. And then we can say, all right, well, what are the factors here? Report an error

3:43 And then we can start looking at the factors of origination. What leads to it? Now, one of these is the fact... That our meditative practice is probably a relatively small fraction of the overall how many hours per day we're awake. Most people. It's a small fraction. And so I'll take that analogy once again of Tibetan medicine, which is these little bitty pills, like small marbles, and then compare that to the plate of food you have for dinner or for lunch. Report an error

4:12 And you say, well, there's just no comparison. So much more in terms of sheer bulk. That if that diet there on the plate, all that mass of food there on the plate is going to be unhealthy, then how much is that little pill going to be able to do? So there's the analogy. The plate is your whole lifestyle. That's what you're spending 16 hours a day doing. And your meditation is 40 minutes, an hour, maybe something like that. And so then we can say, well, obviously, every moment is worth every other moment. Report an error

4:36 There's no moments of the day we say, oh, this is the really important one and the rest of them are garbage. Each moment is of equal value. It all has to do with what we put into it. And so then we can ask, all right, well, why don't we take this from the ground up, from the foundation up? And that is if... Report an error

4:52 If we're awake for 16 hours a day and we're meditating for 40 minutes, that means, okay, it's something like 15 to 1. Maybe the primary emphasis should be on the 15 hours and the 1 is to serve the 15. In which case then we can ask, all right, what do I really value? I mean, it's a really good question. That's why I'm elaborating. And I do so with respect because we've all been there. Report an error

5:14 Then we can ask, all right, what are these qualities that I really value? Independent of Buddhism, I value, period. Buddhism, yes, Buddhism, no, reincarnation, all that, yes or no, either way, this is what I value. And so an open heart, empathy, caring about others, no contest, definitely yes. And then these simple qualities, relaxation, clarity, stability, vividness, no contest, it's just obviously there. Would I like to be more insightful, have greater clarity and insight as I'm engaging with my life, with other people and so forth? Report an error

5:47 Again, it's just one of those no-brainers, the answer is yes. So then we can ask, well, For those roughly 15 hours or so, how can I elevate these qualities throughout all that time? And then the meditation, in response to that question, then here's the meditation. Meditation, you are now the servant of those 15 hours, I want you to give it your best shot. I'm not going to worry about how good you are, because you're the servant for the 15 hours, because it's 15 to 1, you're outnumbered. Report an error

6:16 So then as soon as we take that, then we don't evaluate our meditation practice. In terms of how well it goes during the meditation practice. How good do I feel? How centered? How calm? How peaceful? How much rumination? That's small potatoes. We've got 15 potatoes here and that's one potato there. You know? So 15 to 1. That's a big, that's major outnumbered. So it's just simply a question, how effective are you going to be to serve the rest of my life? Report an error

6:42 It's said the same thing in a guru-disciple relationship, just pulling that out of the air. The whole point of a guru-disciple relationship is, I won't quite use the word servant, but it's pretty darn close. The guru is there in the service of the student. I mean, the guru is there. One teaches Dharma to be of service to others. It really is that simple. And then the students make sure the teacher can survive. Report an error

7:02 You don't want your teacher to starve and die. But the whole point of a guru-to-sapa relationship is for the sake of the student. It's that simple. The whole point of the meditation practice is for the sake of the rest of your life. And so how to elevate then these qualities? Well, by seasoning the day, by generally just bringing as much mindfulness, as much presence, As much attentiveness as we engage with other people, other sentient beings, to see that the silly image that I like is filling a bathtub with water. Report an error

7:31 And when you do so, you see all the water is coming up evenly. You don't have it like that. It's obvious, it's silly, but I like it. So likewise, the emphasis on daily spiritual practice. The idea here is fill the bathtub. And that is just elevate the whole quality of mindfulness, openness of heart, the attentiveness, the care, the concern. Report an error

7:50 To other beings around oneself and the wisdom in terms of making good choices. And on that basis of elevating the whole quality, then when from that lifestyle, where you're saying, look, my Dharma is going to be in my life, otherwise it's not really anywhere at all. Then as you're elevating the whole quality of mindfulness and so on in your lifestyle, then when, for example, at the end of the day, if you have 20 minutes, half an hour, whatever, then you'll find that that's quite a smooth segue. Report an error

8:17 That you really were being as present as you could be throughout the course of the day. And when it comes to meditation time, if your day is coming to a close, that you're coming into the meditation with much more presence and it's bound to go more smoothly. And as you start the day with meditation, it's a launching pad to bring greater, these virtues of the mind into the rest of the day. Report an error

8:42 So what I would suggest then in terms of strategy, because to my mind, There isn't any question. I never ask the question, oh, shall I practice Dharma or not? That question is already answered. The prospect of living without Dharma, I'd rather commit cosmic suicide. I'd rather just bail out of reality altogether if that were an option, frankly. I'm not being overdramatic, really. Life without Dharma just seems to be nothing. Report an error

9:07 And so then, okay, then how to be effective? That's the only real question. That's the real question. Report an error

9:14 So, if in doubt, infirmary. The infirmary is the supine position, you probably know the term, yeah? Yes? Okay, infirmary, really good. It's a good, literally, fallback. It's a fallback position to come in terms of frustration. Say, okay, I'm frustrated. In other words, I'd like the practice to be going better than it is. That's why I'm frustrated. But then that's not a bad thing. Report an error

9:39 That is, if you get to the point where I'm satisfied now, then okay, are you a Buddha? If you're not, then what are you satisfied for? I'm not going to stick a pin in your butt. Don't be satisfied yet. You're not ready. So it's a matter of balancing. It's a matter of balancing. Tsongkhapa says, when it comes to Dharma, never be satisfied. Be insatiable when it comes to Dharma. Report an error

10:05 Be satiable, that is, be easily contented when it comes to hedonic. There's a monastic ideal. Be content with that which is merely adequate. Monastic ideal. So okay, for the hedonic, if you have enough, good, then be happy, put a cap on it. But now when it comes to Dharma, just be insatiable. Don't be satisfied. But don't be so dissatisfied that you take no pleasure in the practice. Report an error

10:28 You never give yourself a break. You're always cracking the whip and looking with a frown on your own practice. That takes all the fun out of it. Just like being a bad parent. Report an error

10:37 If your child gets an A-, well, it could have been an A+. Guess an A? Well, it could have been an A+. You got four A's and one B. Well, it could have been five A's. What's wrong with you? No matter what. I mean, we can always do that. We can always put somebody down by saying, well, it could have been better. Report an error

10:52 And I'll take all the joy out of it. That's for sure. In contrast to many, many parents who are loving parents. And they're just always looking away to encourage, to inspire and to help out. And as parents do that lovingly to their children, it might be a good idea to do that to ourselves. Report an error

11:10 And not tell the child, well, you're just a loser, I'm going to stop paying for education, you're only 12, I know, but nevertheless. Get a job. Shine somebody's shoes, you know. Here's your begging bowl, scram. And so, looking for skillful means. I think you've already picked up the scent. And that is some kind of a balance between cultivating your own mind, the shamatha, for example, the Vipassanā, but loving kindness. Loving kindness. Report an error

11:39 So it's one more area to be insatiable. Not to come to the point where I think I'm loving enough. I don't need it anymore. I'm okay. But no, why don't I just consider the ideal of having him boundless and be somewhat... Report an error

11:56 But starting with oneself, a really good place to start. And that is really... And this is the Buddha. This is the Buddha. It's not some later New Ager, some kind of guy from California trying to put a New Age spin on it. It's the Buddha's own words. He said, one who loves himself will never harm another. It's a direct quote. Report an error

12:15 And so he's actually encouraging loving kindness for ourselves. And that means to envision what would truly make us happy. Quote earlier, and then pursue it, you know. But envision it. Kind of a vision quest, if that's not too corny. What would truly make me happy? And again, not just hedonic, that's important, but not enough. Report an error

12:34 What would give me a sense of fulfillment, satisfaction, real meaning, envisioning that, wishing for it, aspiring for it. That's not selfish, that's wise. And then considering Report an error

12:51 What would I love from the world to be able to realize that vision? Because I can't do it on my own. And so imagining what kind of assistance, spiritual friends, teachers, conducive circumstances, very important. What would I love to see? And then see if we can shape, see if we can bring that about. And then when you consider, well, why am I frustrated? So many people, I wish I were progressing more quickly. Report an error

13:11 I'm frustrated. My practice isn't going as well as I hope, anticipated, expected. Fine. How would you love to transform? Rather than beating yourself over a head with a stick. From what qualities would you love to be free? With what qualities would you love to be imbued? Envision that. Envision it. And then kind of, yeah, just that. Report an error

13:31 Envision kind of the maturation you'd love to see take place. And then finally, this is a fourfold, I've taught it many times, then considering what would I really love to give back? Because we're all recipients of others' kindness, starting from our parents and many other people. We all have unique backgrounds and skills. Report an error

13:49 Nobody has your network of friends, associates, people you've engaged with over your life. You're the center of your mandala. You're not replaceable, actually. Job-wise, sure, if you quit, somebody else will fill your job, but your individuality, who you are as a unique individual, nobody can fill that. You're the one. Report an error

14:10 And that means you have something unique to offer and to envision what might that be. What would you love to offer? And so when we envision along those lines, then it inspires. Report an error

14:22 And then our engagement in formal practice, meditation and so on, becomes an expression of loving kindness, an expression of really wishing ourselves well and ourselves well in interrelationship with those around us. And so we're just kind of practicing in a field of benevolence. Good thing. And that really is, how do you say, a very benevolent ground, I don't know a better word than that, benevolence, it's a nice word. Report an error

14:51 But as a warm ground, as a fertile ground, which doesn't give rise to impatience and frustration, but rather, this is worth doing, that means no matter how long it takes, this is worth doing, period. End of discussion. And now simply, how can I be more effective? It's all positive. If there's some waffling, maybe it's not worth doing, then one should reassess and find something that's absolutely worth doing, and leave the other stuff aside. Report an error

15:17 Maybe, maybe not. But if it's absolutely worth doing, then... That's the end of the conversation. Shall I or shall not? No, I shall. That conversation's finished. And now how simply can I be more effective? So exploring different methods, exploring different postures, time of day, conducive lifestyle, spiritual friends. Report an error

15:37 It's very nice to have some companionship, fellow travelers, so to speak. And we will explore in this retreat still more methods for shamatha, which of course have the fundamental aim of just making the mind serviceable. So that when we want to use it for something meaningful, That covers a lot of territory. That we can do so. And not spend so much time waffling about and wasting time because of the mind being out of control. Report an error

16:02 So then it's really a question of finding those effective methods, some combination of methods. But again, I think your instincts are spot on. And that is the conclusion you have drawn. That whatever your mix, whatever the combination of practices you come upon, if you include loving kindness, it's going to go better. Report an error

16:23 Okay? I'm glad. Report an error

16:30 Anything else coming up? Yes, please, we're in the back. Report an error

16:46 I did, yes. Report an error

16:56 Yes, right. Report an error

17:01 Right, cool. He Report an error

17:09 was able to get the horse to lie down on the ground and pummel with plastic with a tapon, which is very noisy and windy. Sure, and freak him out. He was able to get the horse to stand over another horse. He was able to ride the horse around five walls. And he talked about the things that he talked about, like trust and building a strong relationship with the horse. And that the horse absolutely and totally trusted him. Report an error

17:42 That's three days, which is incredible. And he was on Australian Story a few years ago or something. And if you want to Google in Australian horse history. But I just thought I'd share that with you because it really reinforced what the movie, and I have seen the movie in that part. And it reinforced that and I can give it to a greater degree of how he was able to do that and how important the horse's relationship was to him and obviously to the horses. Report an error

18:11 And that really ethical, he talked about you can't fool horses because I believe you are who you are. There's no retence. Report an error

18:24 So that's the point. Lovely. I think the core of that is wonderful. Thank you for sharing that. And you know what really strikes me, what came out of it, what I teased out of what you were sharing, is that he was, my sense of it, now it's my interpretation, it wasn't, I'm a human being, higher intelligence, but I'm going to train you, the horse, lower intelligence. Report an error

18:44 It's sentient being to sentient being. In other words, it's affinity, it's common ground, it's mutual trust, because he has to trust the horse. They can bite. You remember in buck? You remember in buck? lovely and it's Report an error

18:54 Where that crazy horse that was brain damaged took a bite out of the man's forehead. Yeah, it was a crazy horse. It was brain damaged and he could not be trained. Just like a person who's brain damaged, I mean, you may not be able to teach him anything. There's severe brain damage. And the horse was. And so we know the horse can really do major damage to a human being with its teeth, let alone its hoofs and so forth. Report an error

19:15 So the man has to trust the horse. But the horse has to trust the man. And that's sentient being to sentient being. Thank you. Any other questions? Report an error

19:50 The answer is you never can tell. That is, it's unpredictable, quite literally. It's just unpredictable. I mean, if you're a really accomplished yogi, then okay, things get more predictable. But when one is still relatively a novice, it's hard to tell. You might find that having food in the stomach kind of grounds you, the whole system slows down a bit, and you're more grounded, and you can maintain greater continuity. Report an error

20:10 And you found in that particular session, just the opposite. But I will respond, because it's very important, just not only for the next two and a half days, Report an error

20:22 And that is in terms of evaluating how the practice is going. On the one hand, I've encountered many, many times in teachings I've received, meditation manuals that I've read and studied practice, that when in the meditation, when you're doing the practice, then simply do the practice and release your hopes and fears, future thinking, how long will it take and all that kind of stuff. Report an error

20:47 Release it, release it and just do it, just be right there. And let that be the full-time job. Devote yourself to it. So I've heard it many times. There's a lot of wisdom there on the one hand. On the other hand, there are many things we can be doing with our time, and many of them are worthwhile. Many things that are not meditation are worthwhile. And so if we're going to spend time, if we're going to carve time out of our daily lives, and our lives are very valuable, then we can expect, you know, it's just quite natural and reasonable. Report an error

21:18 To expect if I'm taking out some time from each day to do some formal meditative practice, it should be giving some benefit. Otherwise, why should I bother? And that's a good question. Why should I bother to meditate? Maybe I should be doing something else that would bring about greater benefit if this isn't working at all. So in this regard, to have some wise evaluation of how one's practice is going is, there it is. Report an error

21:44 I mean, I've just defined it. That is wise. It's not a foolish thing. To take stock now and then of how your practice is going. Then on what basis shall we evaluate the practice? And there are two ways, and one is superficial and one is deeper. I'll give the superficial one first. And that is you sit down, the practice goes well, you find you're quite centered and so forth, and you come out and say, that was a good session. Report an error

22:08 That went well. I'm choosing my words very carefully. That went well. I hope I have a lot more sessions like that. The next session sucks. Well, that one really was bad. My mind was all over the place and I was feeling kind of grumpy and I hope the next one's better. Let's see how the next one goes. And this is kind of what I would call a hedonic way of evaluating the practice. And that is, how was it dished up to you? How did it go for you? Report an error

22:37 That's like saying in a relationship, my relationship with such and such person, oh, she was really nice today, but yesterday was quite grumpy, but we'll see how she is tomorrow. And then how does it go? How did she treat me? You know, he, she, whatever. You know, that's a hedonic way of evaluating the relationship. How did it happen to me? Report an error

22:53 You know, what came up? What came up? And that's not a very, very, how do you say, very fruitful, very meaningful way, because frankly we can't control that. We can't control that. There are so many factors. It can be weather, it can be digestion. It can be something lurking in the subconscious, it's kind of cropping up in sound practice, and I emphasize this, in sound practice, where we may be even practicing many hours a day, and we've been putting in some hours here. Report an error

23:27 Sound practice, where you're doing everything right, very frequently, especially in shamatha, it's quite famous, will catalyze what are called upheavals, or in other words, eruptions, where you're practicing well. You didn't do anything wrong. And the practice, you have one session good, two sessions good, three sessions good, and four sessions, passions coming up, emotions, anger coming up, resentment, anxiety, low self-esteem, depression. Report an error

23:57 You say, what the hell happened? I was practicing well and I had that. What am I meditating for if I get that? Well, the practice of Shantideva turns out to be a path of self-knowledge. Report an error

24:09 And that's the way it goes. And in the process of knowing ourselves, Not everything is going to be roses and some of the things that get catalyzed and come up in eruptions will be unpleasant. But that's because the practice is working. The practice is to be dredging, bringing up to the light of consciousness what's already there. And we can see by the innocence of the practices we're doing here. We know, I mean it's just common sense, that when you're practicing mindfulness of breathing, you're not inserting in your psyche something toxic, alien, dangerous. Report an error

24:44 Because we're not inserting anything at all. We're working what we already had. We already had awareness. We already have mindfulness. We're already breathing. So there's no foreign import at all. Right? And then we go to settling the mind in its natural state. Well, we already had thoughts, emotions, images and so forth. We already had awareness. There's no foreign import. So whatever is coming up, it was already there. Report an error

25:04 Not getting it from any place else. If we did some exotic practice where, you know, getting inside stuff or maybe taking some drug and meditating, then who knows what. But there's no foreign import here. So in the course of sound, well-grounded, appropriate practice, wise practice, this will catalyze eruptions. Report an error

25:21 And we never know what's going to come up. But if we really are checking, we say, you know, I know that I was doing the practice correctly. And the practice is sound. It's not some crazy thing that I'm trying to experiment with. It really makes sense. Then we can simply assume this is going to be the case, that in the course of sound practice, this will catalyze eruptions, and some of them, not all. Report an error

25:42 Some will be unpleasant. And in the moment when we're having that session, we'll feel hedonically that was a crappy session. And then the next one may be fine. What often happens, because I've been leading a lot of these longer retreats now for six, seven years, is when people are practicing maybe six, seven, eight hours a day, I've heard this many, many times now, and that is... Report an error

26:05 They come in for their weekly interviews with me and they say, oh, Monday and Tuesday last week was really good. It was just getting better and better. And then Wednesday the bottom dropped out. And it was just awful. My mind was all over the place. Anger coming up and resentment. Man, what happened? And I said, what happened is your practice is working. It doesn't feel like it. Report an error

26:24 But that's what happens. It dredges stuff up. So that's hedonically. Those sessions on Wednesday really sucked. That's hedonically. But now... And so then if we're just judging the meditation hedonically, then what we're going to be saying indefinitely is up and down, up and down, up and down. I was elated and I was discouraged. Report an error

26:41 Then I got hopeful, then I got depressed. Then I got hopeful, then I got depressed. That's going to go on forever. Because we're evaluating it correctly. It's a superficial evaluation. And this evaluation is, how did it go for you? How did it, in meditation, as something there, go for you? How did it happen to you? Well, everything's up and down. That's the nature of saṃsāra. Report an error

27:02 The weather, personal relationships, wealth, reputation, it's up and down, that's just the way it is. Even for the Buddha, he had bad days too in terms of what happened to him. Report an error

27:12 What he brought to the world after his enlightenment was homogenous. So every day was a good day in terms of what he brought to the world. What happened to him up and down, up and down. Good days and bad days. And so, see where I'm going here. And then in terms of... We should be making wise evaluations. We shouldn't be practicing meditation for no reason whatever or closing our eyes and not having a clue whether the practice is really being beneficial or not. Report an error

27:36 Because if it's not, we should find another practice. That's for sure. But then to evaluate the practice not in terms of what comes to us, what we get from it, but what we bring to it. And so we'll have days, I think this is pretty much a guarantee, we'll have days in the future where a particular session Seems like just off the charts. Rumination back to stage one. Just who let the dog off the leash? What happened here? Report an error

28:05 But that's what's happening. And then we say, okay, that's what's being dished up now. And how do I practice? What do I bring to that situation? Okay, I know. The mind is really spun out. It's really very wound up. A lot of stuff coming up. Maybe a lot of emotions come up. Maybe a lot of mental afflictions come up. What to be done here? I remember. Relax. Relax. Report an error

28:31 Flat out on your back. Down. And then collapse. And then breathe out. Breathe out. And it keeps on coming. The hordes keep on, you know, charging against the ramparts of your mind. And then just... And the waves of them come in. Report an error

28:50 Just releasing. Like just welcoming them. Welcome right on through. Oh, more? Okay, sure. Right on through. Right on through, but not sticking. Just releasing them through. And the real point at the end is not how enjoyable that was. That's very easy. But if you want enjoyable, eat ice cream. Report an error

29:13 But if you want meaning, see at the end of the session whether the mind is more balanced than it was at the beginning. And if it is, you say, okay, that was a step in the right direction. And the next session may start out much better and then be more satisfying. But the most important thing is at the end of the session is the mind more wholesome, more balanced, relaxed, still, clear, open-hearted, empathetic. And if we can say yes to that, and say yes to that question frequently on a regular basis, with all the hedonic ups and downs, but unimonically, in terms of what we're bringing to the practice, if we're giving it our best shot, Report an error

29:51 offering our best, with a benevolent motivation, a loving motivation for ourself and others, patient, And with this fundamental conviction, absolute core right down to a marrow, this is worth doing. And to quit this is crazy. That is just quit. To maybe stop a certain method? Oh sure, why not? If it's not working, find another method. If a relationship with a particular teacher is not being beneficial, no problem, find another teacher. Report an error

30:18 If it's not Buddhism, it's just not working, fine, find another tradition. That's what the Dalai Lama says. There's no one tradition that's best for everyone. And certainly no teacher, and certainly no method. So in that regard, sure, we keep our mind open and see. And then of course we don't have to have one teacher. Report an error

30:35 I've had dozens, and they're all my teachers still. Not all of them are alive, but they're still my teachers. And so multiple teachers, multiple perspectives, the bouquet of Dharma practice. And although my path, if I'm just speaking personally, is 100 % Buddhist, but I've learned from the Christian tradition. I've received... Report an error

30:54 Raniyama and Asana teachings from Hindu teachers. And then a lot from William James. And Aristotle is one of my friends. And I really like Socrates. We're good buddies. And then physics. I've learned a lot from physics and some from psychology. So they're all there. But they're all as my friends to help me in my Buddhist practice. Report an error

31:14 Because I'm not one part Buddhist and three parts Christian and so forth and so on. I'm Buddhist. That's my path. But I'm very, very happy and feel tremendously enriched by having friends. around, secular friends, Christian friends, Jewish friends, and so forth, to help me enrich and deepen my practice, because my path is a Buddhist path, a Buddhist path. Report an error

31:36 So finding one's path, finding a teacher who is really helpful, good relationship, good connection, then... doing the only thing to be done. As Report an error

31:51 you Report an error

32:07 can Report an error

32:29 easily imagine, there is no worthy formulaic response. Like on day two or day five or after one week, something like that, any such response would be silly. External support, anytime, Report an error

32:53 anytime. The external support may be from a professionally trained psychotherapist. That may be a very good resource. One wants to, as I'm sure every psychotherapist would agree, there are very wise ones and ones who are not so wise. There are very compassionate ones and those who are not so compassionate. Report an error

33:12 And so finding one who is wise and compassionate, that would be a good start. And so if one has such a psychotherapist, that's a great boon. Having spiritual friends. They don't need to necessarily be professionally trained. A study was done, I was told about this by a research psychiatrist that I know. Very, very smart man. Report an error

33:31 Very good man as well. And he told me of a study done years ago, I think back in the 80s or so. It's quite interesting. I don't think it's been replicated. Report an error

33:41 But it was a legitimate scientific study. A group of people with depression, so it's a research program, and so they had a group of people with depression, and they had three different protocols. So one group got antidepressants, they got straight drugs. You have depression, good, here's a drug. A second group got talk therapy, no drugs, just talk therapy by a skilled psychotherapist. Report an error

34:07 And the third group got neither drugs nor talk therapy, but had the companionship of a very compassionate person. With no training and no drugs. But simply a very warm-hearted and compassionate person. And then they let a certain amount of time go by. And then they said, okay, what were the effects? I think you probably guessed. The people who did the best were the ones who were able to hang out with a really compassionate person. And this is by a research psychiatrist. Report an error

34:37 So he respects his discipline. Otherwise he would have quit. So is he implying by this that antidepressants have no place? Absolutely not. And nor do I. Or is he implying that talk therapy is a waste of time? No, and nor do I. But among all of those, the most important is actually compassion. And if that compassion is embodied in a person who knows psychotherapy, all the better. Report an error

35:01 And if that psychotherapist is a psychiatrist who can very wisely administer antidepressants when necessary, then all the better. But if we have to choose, I would say choose the person with compassion. Report an error

35:12 And it's never too soon to consult a person with compassion as a spiritual friend and get whatever guidance we can. Having said that, the more that we learn about Dharma, I would say, as much as I profoundly respect, and actually I do revere, the theories and methods that I'm sharing with everyone in this retreat, I would not say that this is a rounded and complete diet. Report an error

35:38 That is, practice just what we're doing for these six days, and that's enough, you can go home, and if I were a Dharma nutritionist, would I say that's a balanced diet? The answer would be no, it's not a balanced diet. But we can't do everything in six days and I was asked to teach the four applications of mindfulness. And that's quite a bundle. We can see to try to cover all four in six days. We have our hands full. And we're covering shamatha because you just have to do shamatha. Report an error

35:59 Because if you don't have shamatha then you can't do anything else. You know, if you don't have a balanced mind. But if one is looking for balance, which, you know my name is B. Alan Wallace. The acronym of course that is Balance Walla. And Balance Walla is a person who peddles balance and that's what I do. Report an error

36:20 It's absolutely central. It's absolutely central to any kind of practice. There must be balance. And so this retreat right here is heavily oriented towards balancing the mind, developing the wisdom, the insight, the skills for really investigating natural reality. But there is something missing. And we're just alluding to it now and again, but I can't highlight everything in six days. But the other one is, is it Craig or Chris? Report an error

36:47 Chris. Chris, thank you. Chris, it just came up. But there it is. It's loving kindness. Something of the heart. And we're not really emphasizing that in this retreat. Now we had other retreats, six days, all devoted to the four measurables. Loving kindness, compassion, empathetic or equanimity. We just finished a marvelous retreat in Phuket where we had the seven point mind training. Lots and lots of teachings on tonglen, loving kindness, compassion, empathy and so forth. Report an error

37:12 That was really balanced. Those eight weeks, superbly balanced. And I simply did my best to deliver the goods. But the goods were good. And so what is missing in this retreat for a balanced diet? Shamatha, we've got that covered. It's rudimentary, but we've got a good start here. For insight, for wisdom, knowledge, understanding, we've got a good start here. This is really balanced in that context. But to have the overall practice balanced, then practice is with cultivation of the heart. Report an error

37:42 It goes horizontally, sentient being to sentient being, including animals, of course. But loving, kindness, compassion, it's horizontal, it's opening the heart to our fellow sentient beings. And then for those who are so predisposed, have the ability and inclination, there's also what I call the vertical axis. Report an error

38:01 And that's devotion. It's devotion. It's reverence, it's faith, it's worship, it's prayer. And it may be for the Buddha, it may be for God, for Jesus, it may be for the Dalai Lama, one's guru, but the crucial element is reverence. It's not just respect. It's reverence. And if one doesn't feel that yet, don't worry. It's a problem. It doesn't have to be religious. Buddhism says doors are wide open. Come in in any door you like. Report an error

38:28 And if it's not a religious door, that's fine. You can come in the scientific door. Come in the philosophical door. There are multiple doors. But sooner or later it's going to serve us well to feel a sense of reverence for someone. Report an error

38:41 Because that adds a whole other dimension to life. It enriches. It brings moisture. Warmth. And so the vertical axis. When the time is ripe, that's really helpful. And so, short answer then, that was a long answer, it's never too soon to seek outside help. None of us need to be macho in that way. But it's also true that the more deeply we delve into Dharma, our understanding broadens, we see the multifaceted nature of spiritual practice, the richness, the wide array of practices, then we may find that over time, less and less do we need to go to outside help. Report an error

39:21 Because we've already been so enriched by others' wisdom, their experiences, their care, their loving kindness, that it's been internalized. In which case we just go into meditation and we find just what we need comes right out of our own awareness. In which case you're a yogi and you can fly. Report an error

39:46 Yes, please. Report an error

39:52 Yes. you. Yes. Report an error

39:58 emotion, like a negative emotion, like sadness, versus... I think he said an afflictive emotion like hatred or envy. I'm just unclear about why, what makes those, if you've got the negative emotions, what makes them the afflictive ones versus just sadness or anxiety. And the second part would be when afflicted by one of those afflictive emotions like animosity or jealousy, what would be the Buddhist approach to actually managing that at the time you're going to write? Report an error

40:32 Very good. Very large question, but very good. We do have this term, just like the word love. I love watermelon, I love chocolate. Not that much, really, but chocolate's good. Et cetera, et cetera. The whole point is that it's just such a broad bandwidth of loving all kinds of things, including sexual infatuation is called love, right? Report an error

40:50 Oh, I love her so much I can't live without her. And so there it is. It covers a lot of territory, and a lot of that territory is mutually incompatible, right? And so likewise with negative emotions. Report an error

41:01 I don't have any objection to the term, but it covers an awful lot of territory. And some of those so-called negative emotions are enormously important and valuable. And that is if we witness, like the tsunami that took place several years back, killed a quarter of a million people, including where I spent a lot of time in Phuket, 30-foot waves coming in, a lot of people there. Report an error

41:25 When one hears about a natural calamity of that sort, Or one hears about unbearable savagery of human beings to human beings, where it's really driven by malice, greed and hostility and so on. To witness that, to witness the suffering of the world, we call it empathy. Sadness is the response, that's the right response. Report an error

41:49 Gladness would be schadenfreude, we know that's not it. Indifference, that's not it. That's kind of cold, it's dead. Where's your humanity? You're not feeling sad? Nothing moved you there? What's wrong? And so I don't use the word negative emotion just because it covers things that are so valuable. Report an error

42:12 Compassion, for example, is not an emotion. It's an aspiration in the Buddhist understanding, just speaking from that context. But if there's no empathy, if there's no feeling with, then it's almost like it has no ground floor. You know, there's the compassion, the wish for another person to be free of suffering, but there's no feeling with. Then it seems like it's something up here someplace, up there in the conceptual, the intellectual. Report an error

42:38 I think like a computer program. I just got the data, I crunched the data, they should be relieved of suffering, make it so. Next, something missing. It's kind of like, where's the heart? You know, where's the heart? There's the tin man, you know, but he's got no heart. He's got well programmed. And so empathy, empathy. I mean, I told that story of the tenth stage body of Bodhisattva was weeping. And then out of his tear comes Todd and says, don't worry, I'll help you. Report an error

43:07 So I don't look upon sadness as a negative emotion. At the same time, do I look upon it as a positive emotion? No. Because if, as we sympathize, because that's a term, sympathize, we are with sympathizing, like sympathy with. If we feel empathy, sympathy for another person, But it doesn't trigger, it doesn't catalyze compassion, just remains sadness. Then what's the value of that? Report an error

43:38 We just have one more sad person. And now that sad person becomes the object of somebody else's compassion. So now we just have two sad people. And so that's not helpful by itself if that's where it stops. Then it's almost like bread that kind of rises and then flat. Or souffle, isn't it? Souffles? Report an error

43:59 Souffle that never quite made it. And so it's called in the Buddhist tradition, when discussing the four immeasurables, including compassion, that if it's just sadness and then it deflates, it falls back into grief, into hopelessness, despair. They say that's the near enemy of compassion, which is the false facsimile. That which looks like compassion, maybe there are plenty of tears and mourning and so forth, but it's not compassion. Report an error

44:24 Because it's not helping. It's not moving in the right direction. It's not moving. It's just waddling around in its own sorrow. So one can say, well, then that's kind of negative because it's just one more person suffering now. And then sadness can be neutral. Oh, I'm sad I lost some money. Somebody stole some money or I made an investment that went bad. I'm sad. Report an error

44:46 Oh, big deal. You know, frankly, big deal. I mean, if it's really imperiling your well-being, you can't pay your medical bills and so forth, then that's a big deal. But if it's just some surplus money you lost, okay, get over it. That sadness, it's neutral. Not negative, not positive, it's kind of like, oh, get over it, let's move on. Money comes, money goes, big deal. Report an error

45:10 So there are negative emotions in the sense that we don't like them. Sadness is one, disappointment is another, and so forth. Fear. Is fear a negative emotion? It's absolutely imperative on occasion. No fear, probably get hit by a truck. You should have been afraid. It was bigger than you. And so there are times when fear is very constructive. Report an error

45:38 This is very highlighted in Buddhism. And that is fear is a real motivator. And if we're doing something that's dangerous, either just on a mundane way, like kids sometimes do, adults sometimes do, needlessly dangerous. Then you should be afraid. Or if we're engaging in some really immoral action and think, I'll get away with it, I'll get away with it. No, you should be afraid. Report an error

46:00 You should be afraid. Whether you get caught or not, you don't know it. But Shantideva sees right now you won't like the result. You should be afraid of the result and then stop doing that. Because if you knew what's coming, you would stop. So that's a reality-based fear. And to not have such reality-based fear is to be an idiot, to be a fool. Report an error

46:21 On the other hand, we know that fear can be... It's unproductive. We know that it can be useless and we know it can be terribly destructive. That is, when you're not reality-based. And so fear is one of those, again, it's negative, but wait a minute, it's not negative in all contexts. Sometimes it's neutral. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my money in that investment. I'll get over it, you know. And then it can be very constructive and it can be destructive. But overall we don't like it, so we call it negative. Report an error

46:47 So now to answer your question, but I think these are important points. What makes an emotion Afflictive. Krishna. Afflictive. It's a subtle point, and I can't give a... You didn't ask for a sound bite, so I won't give a pound bite. It deserves a bit of a nuanced response. A mental affliction, a klesha, by definition. It's called in Tibetan, sem-mash-y-var-she-pe-che-de-ching-gi-sem-chung. Report an error

47:13 A mental factor that has the function of disturbing the mind. I'll rephrase that. Disrupting the equilibrium of the mind. Report an error

47:24 That pretty well does it. Disturbing, disrupting equilibrium, throwing out of balance the mind. That's the definition. But then we can ask, well, wait a minute, so hypothetically, I just read a headline, I heard a tremendous disaster, a great deal of suffering took place. I've heard some things that just really disturbed my mind. When Palingasso, Palingasso, the monk that was 35 years in concentration camp, I spent hours in conversation with him. Report an error

47:56 And he told me in quite some detail the kind of torture he'd been through. That disturbed my mind. I had a hard time sleeping. For some days, it really, really got to me. Report an error

48:07 I don't think I'd really quite conceived of people doing that to people before. Because I got it from the horse's mouth, as they say. It really disturbed my mind. I was quite distressed. That was a good thing. That was a good thing. It didn't disturb my mind in the sense, oh, I hate Chinese, or I hate this, or I hate that. Report an error

48:26 It was just being deeply troubled. That people can do that. Very distressful. But that was good. It didn't disturb the mind in the sense of distorting my perception of reality. It didn't disturb the mind in the sense of wanting to retaliate with hatred, with craving, with jealousy, with animosity, with arrogance. Oh, I'm superior to that person. Report an error

48:50 It didn't do that. It just made me terribly sad. But that was good. So I have no qualms. I have no regrets. I'm glad he told me. I'm glad I was sad. I'm glad I couldn't sleep for some time. Because that's part of my maturation. I want to know what's going on in the world to see the broad bandwidth and not live in a little protected cloister of fortunate white guys. Report an error

49:12 I got a glimpse of outside the fortunate white guys balloon. And so that didn't disturb the mind. Whereas if somebody is a bit rude to me, just a little bit rude, I mean a little bit rude, and that I get like that, that's disturbed my mind. That's disturbed my mind. Who do you think you're talking to? Report an error

49:35 Oh, that's disturbed my mind. Not that, where I heard about torture for several days, but if I'm going, you're like, I'm superior, I'm special, who do you think you are? That's disturbed my mind. It's aroused in mental affliction, anger, arrogance, contempt, disgust, I want to say something sarcastic, something abusive, put the person in his place, that's disturbed my mind. Report an error

50:01 And it's not only negative, something comes up that arouses craving, that disturbs the mind. Where I'm kind of knocked off my rocker. And that is, I'm on my rocker when the mind is resting in its own place. It has a contentment. It's full. It's clear. It has a serenity there. It knows where my happiness comes from. It, the mind, knows where my happiness comes from. Report an error

50:27 It's quite clear. And then something comes up. Oh, that could make me happy. Okay, my mind just got disturbed. Report an error

50:41 Okay, that's all clear? And then of course, when the mind is disturbed, then what it's doing, there's an arousal there, an incentive arises to engage in behavior that may be quite harmful. Whether it's out of craving, you know, or whether it's out of animosity or out of jealousy, out of arrogance, the kind of behavior triggered by those mental afflictions tends to do damage in the world. Report an error

51:02 And then therefore, the underlying, how to say, mental impulse is called afflictive. Okay? Report an error

51:13 Yes, please go ahead. Report an error

51:23 It is. Report an error

51:30 I understand. I understand. And I've had conversations about this topic with Paul Ekman and I found, to my surprise, that we are using two words in just the opposite ways. And neither one of us is right. It's just he used one word and I used another word. When I've used the word guilt, coming from a Christian background and original sin and all of that, when I've used the word guilt, I refer to it as self-directed. Report an error

51:58 Low self-esteem. I'm a bad person. I feel terrible about myself because I did this and this and therefore because I did that and that I just feel so awful about myself. I wish I could jump out of my skin because I just feel so awful and nothing I can do about it because I'm me and who else am I going to be? And I'm kind of stuck. Report an error

52:19 That's how I was thinking of guilt. Whereas I'm ashamed that I did something that was thoughtless and what have you. I'm ashamed that I did that. I really wish I hadn't done that. I'm really ashamed. I did that, but I'll stop. I'll do my very best not to replicate that. That's how I've used the terms. And I'm not saying I'm right. I'm just giving a report. And Paul turned that right on its head. Report an error

52:39 And he's not right either, and he's not wrong. He says, no, if you committed a crime, you're guilty. Because he works a lot with law enforcement and FBI and all that kind of thing. He said, if you committed a crime, you're guilty. You should recognize as such and then know that you're guilty. And then don't do it again. So he used guilt as a positive sense. Report an error

52:59 I know I did wrong. I'm responsible for that act, but I'll not do it again. But I feel guilty that I did it. Because I am guilty that I did it. And that's realistic. Whereas he took shame as being self-directed. I'm just so ashamed. I think I can commit suicide or I'm going to eat dog dirt or something. I just feel terribly ashamed. So there's the issue of definition. Report an error

53:22 How do we mean them? And now I'll give a response. But I was intrigued by the fact that... Both of us living in California, native English speakers, were using those words in just the opposite way. Where he took shame to be useful, constructive, guilt to be constructive, and shame not. And I just had thought the otherwise. Again, it's just whatever. Buddhist view. If we engage in some behavior that having completed, we look back and we know it was wrong. Report an error

53:52 And we did it when we're not insane, we're not brain damaged, that we really did it because we made a voluntary decision to do it. And it was a bad decision. And we look back on it with remorse. That's a really good thing. It's one more negative emotion. I feel terrible about what I did. Good, you should. Congratulations, put her there. That's a step in the right direction. If you felt either indifferent or happy about what you did, that would be shameful. Report an error

54:19 But good, you feel terrible about that action. That's a good thing, because what you did was terrible. Congratulations, first step in the right direction. It's positive. That's wholesome. That's virtuous. Report an error

54:31 To feel shame, to feel regret, remorse about having done something that was really, really harmful. And we did it deliberately out of some mental affliction, craving, jealousy, what have you. So that's a step in the right direction. But the point here is that remorse is focused on the deed. I did that. I did it. I'm responsible for it. Report an error

54:51 I made the decision. I'm morally responsible. And it was really harmful to myself and others. And I really feel awful about that. But my finger is pointing there. And I want to make amends if I possibly can. And I want to do my very best not to replicate that. And in fact, I'd like to do just the opposite in the future. Report an error

55:11 What I did there, I want to turn that on its head and do just the opposite. And that's my resolve. Good. That's all. It's very sober. It's rather, how do you say, not pleasant, but it's all good. All of that is good. Everything I just said, that's all good and right direction. That's how we get out of ruts. That's how we prevent ourselves from falling back into the same regrettable. Report an error

55:32 The behavior we did in the past, all positive. And then there's a point, this is Shantideva, not in his guide but his other text, which is not nearly so widely read. But he said, when we're looking back on a deed with remorse, there's a point when we should just let it go. Not keep on feeling remorse every doggone time we think about it. Report an error

55:54 Because he said the problem with that is if we overdo the remorse, we keep on going back to it. Even though we're not replicating it, we've made amends, we're doing the contrary, we're really turned over a new leaf. If we keep on going back to that episode and reliving the remorse, remorse, remorse, then that's going to take all the joy out of your practice. And then it won't go well. Report an error

56:14 There's a point where you let it go and say, okay, I cleared it up, I purified it, I've done what I can, I'm moving on now. And I will not do that again, but I'm moving on. And I'm not going to wallow in remorse for the rest of my life because that will take all the joy out of my practice. So you move on. So that's all very constructive, very positive, and sometimes quite painful. Report an error

56:35 Because remorse isn't fun, that's why it's called remorse. But there's a way all of this gets convoluted and becomes afflicted from the beginning. And if we do something terrible or regrettable, and then instead of focusing on the deed and saying that was wrong, that was really harmful, we focus on the person. Report an error

56:55 I did that, I'm terrible. I'm an awful person. Report an error

57:02 Because I'm just, I'm awful. I just feel terrible about myself. I've forgotten now exactly why. But I just know that I'm... Just crap. I'm really an awful person. If people knew me better, they wouldn't like me anymore. I don't like myself. I look in my mirror and I can't stand myself. I really loathe this person. He's disgusting and I just see all these negative qualities. They feel fenced in and surrounded by negativity, disgusting qualities and no wonder I want to keep to myself because other people saw me, they would puke. Report an error

57:33 There's nothing good about that at all. And it doesn't matter who you are. Nothing good about that because there's no escape. Because when it's now fused one's very identity with a deed, Or an array of emotions, mental afflictions and so forth and so on, when it's fused the identity. So how's the escape? Well, some people get so overwhelmed by guilt, that's what I would call it, low self-esteem, self-hatred, self-contempt, that they say, I think I'm going to do the world a favor. Report an error

57:59 Bang! Except that they didn't. They're just off on the barter, bringing their problems with them. But what comes next is probably not going to be pleasant, because that's a really bad way to end a life. So there's really no escape, literally no escape from that. Which means don't go there at all. Remorse is reasonable. It may be very unpleasant, of course. But remorse can be very constructive, transformative, positive and virtuous when it's focused on the deed. Report an error

58:25 But as soon as we conflate the self with the deed, that's where we're in trouble. And it's not only with respect to ourselves, but when we see somebody else do something atrocious. Report an error

58:35 It's so easy. And here, once again, point where Paul Ekman and I, two peas in a pod. We have no differences here at all. And he's coming from independently. He had no Buddhist training for all of his life until he met with the Dalai Lama. That's quite recent. But he said, you know, one of our biggest errors is to see somebody else's really contemptible behavior. Report an error

58:54 It can be really awful behavior, or maybe mildly irritating, whatever it is. See somebody else's negative behavior and then confuse, that is, fuse a person's identity with behavior. And instead of saying that's despicable behavior, that's awful behavior. That's a terrible human being. Fuse. In other words, that human being, the behavior, they're indivisible. Like heat and fire. Report an error

59:21 You can't separate them. The fire is hot. That's the way it is. That person is just at his core. Terrible. And then we're screwed. Then we're really screwed. That is, we are screwed. That is, pointing a finger in that way of seeing an inseparability between the behavior and the person. We're deluded. We really are deluded because nobody is that way. It doesn't matter who they are. Nobody is that way. Behavior comes and goes. Mental afflictions come and go. Report an error

59:52 But the continuum of consciousness, that is a continuum. It carries on. And so the only rational, let alone compassionate, humane, benevolent, charitable, but just the only rational response to people when they engage in really evil deeds is compassion, may you be free. May you be free of such behavior. May you be free of the mental affliction that arouse such behavior. May you be free and envision that possibility. If we do that for others, we can do it for ourselves. Report an error

1:00:25 Do it for ourselves, we can do it for others. So, very deep, low self-esteem, self-hatred is hand in hand by turning that same gun on others and then equating other people with their unfortunate behavior. Then, really, we're stuck. We're just stuck. Report an error

1:00:47 This remorse can be very positive. It can be neutral, like, oh, I wish I hadn't lost that money. Or it can be really, really detrimental and toxic. And it's not a matter of magnitude. It's not simply a matter of how much. A little bit of self-loathing is still toxic. A little bit of loathing to another person where we equate the person with behavior is toxic. Report an error

1:01:10 But we can be deeply sorrowful for another person when we see that person engaging in really harmful behavior. And once again, that sorrow is a positive emotion. Report an error

1:01:24 The grounds for compassion. So I'm glad we've had this conversation because this wasn't the topic of the retreat, but now the whole retreat is somewhat more balanced. It came out and that's really a positive thing. And I'd like to now end on a very traditional note. Report an error

1:01:44 So let's just sit quietly for a couple of minutes. Literally a couple of minutes. Report an error

1:01:53 And if you're old hands in Buddhism, you know that one of the great aphorisms from the Tibetan tradition is there are two tasks, one at the beginning, one at the end. Report an error

1:02:03 And tomorrow morning when you begin your practice, and hopefully it's a lot more, a lot much earlier than nine o 'clock, whatever the practice may be, that starting the day, I mean really quite literally from the time you wake up in the morning, setting your motivation, your aspiration, your vision of what you're here for, what would you love to see unfold throughout the course of the day, Report an error

1:02:27 what direction are you going in? So setting the motivation to be as meaningful as possible then flavors the rest of the day. Even if you're doing something so neutral, it's just watching your breath. It's flavored by your motivation. It takes on much more meaning. So the beginning of every practice, and for that matter, the beginning of every day, set the motivation. Report an error

1:02:47 Wonderfully beneficial. And at the end of the day, then the, it's rather religious translation, but what can we do? Dedicating the merit. So you can go over that terminology. You can just simply say in a more secular fashion, whatever good there may be from this time we've spent together, Repent individually. Whatever the good, whatever virtue, whatever benefit, whatever merit, positive energy, whatever one you call it. But I am quite confident that there's been a lot of goodness happening today. Report an error

1:03:17 Virtue, good motivation, meaningful practice, discussion and so forth. There's something good here. And so then, with that, like holding that good in the hand, say, what would you like to do with it? Something good, like some good energy. What would you like to do with it? And then at the end of the day, Then consider where would you like this to lead? Where would you like to lead? The outcome. What direction? What's your vision? Report an error

1:03:43 It's called dedicating merit. So let's spend just a couple of minutes bringing forth to your own mind, your own vision of where you, individually, would like to see this go. Report an error

1:03:55 What aspiration? How would you like to dedicate whatever goodness there is from the day to the realization of your most meaningful aspirations? So, one or two minutes. Let's just do it quietly. Report an error

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1:05:12 The day is not quite over yet. Our time pretty much is. But we'll be going to bed after some time. And I'd like to give you a little bit of homework, voluntary of course. And that is when you finished everything, brushed your teeth, whatever, however you end the day and you're getting to bed, then we already know kind of plan A. Report an error

1:05:30 And that is with the highest, the big priority, get a good night's sleep, getting to bed, supine position, infirmary, just releasing, releasing, releasing. Until you find the mind getting a bit drowsy, a bit like that, good, roll over, get a good night's sleep. That's plan A. For people who have quite active minds, find it maybe a bit difficult to fall asleep, because it takes 20, 30 minutes, whatever, that's a really good way to give you a good night's sleep. Report an error

1:05:56 Other people, of course, fall asleep quite easily. It's just different metabolisms and so forth. And so if you're one of those people that finds it rather easy to fall asleep, maybe 5 or 10 minutes and you're out, then you might try something a little bit more interesting. And that is the same position, supine position, same practice to start with. But then instead of following the breath, coming down to the earth element and releasing with every out-breath, as you're lying there, eyes closed, settle your mind into natural state. Report an error

1:06:27 And that is just very loose, very relaxed, your awareness still. Just see the images, the thoughts that are coming up. And just see them float right on by. Just thoughts coming and going, images coming and going. Let your awareness remain still. And simply settle your mind in a natural state in the sense of just being aware of whatever comes up, attending to it without distraction, without being carried away, just wandering thoughts, without grasping, that is, glomming onto them, identifying and all of that, just being present and maintaining that clarity of awareness as thoughts come and go, and Report an error

1:07:03 see how far down the road to sleep you can keep the light on. That is, maintain awareness. And if you just fall asleep that way, that's fine. But it is possible in principle, I've done it, many people have, it's not a big deal, but you actually might fall asleep consciously. So you're in a waking state, and then your body falls asleep, and your mind falls asleep, but you kept the candle on, kept the light on, and you actually go into dreamless sleep, and you're aware of it. Report an error

1:07:34 It's kind of interesting. So if you'd like to know yourself, that's one more dimension of yourself that's kind of hidden usually. And then if the light goes out, That's okay. You still get to sleep. If that keeps you awake though, that is just keeping the light on, then I would suggest back to mindfulness of breathing. Report an error

1:07:55 Because it's important to get a good night's sleep. Okay? Good. That's all. See you tomorrow morning. Report an error

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Talk by B. Alan Wallace. Original at Vajrayana Institute via Internet Archive: https://archive.org/details/FourApplicationsOfMindfulnessRetreat2013. Licensed CC BY-NC-ND 3.0. Transcript generated automatically and may contain errors; the audio is the authoritative version.

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