Glen Svensson: Cultivating the wisdom of selflessness (part 1)

0:09 Good morning everyone and welcome and welcome to this one day workshop on this titled Wisdom of Selflessness. I thought maybe it would be nice to begin with a little short meditation, set a good motivation so let's do that to begin with before we begin our discussions. Report an error in the passage at 0:09 Highlight the passage at 0:09

0:37 So find a nice comfortable posture and Report an error in the passage at 0:37 Highlight the passage at 0:37

0:53 it's an act of loving kindness for yourself. Allow your awareness to descend into your body, filling the entire space of the body, Report an error in the passage at 0:53 Highlight the passage at 0:53

1:21 becoming aware of sensations throughout the body. Report an error in the passage at 1:21 Highlight the passage at 1:21

1:36 If you notice any areas of tightness or tension in any part of the body, then to the best of your ability, relax and release that tightness or tension. Report an error in the passage at 1:36 Highlight the passage at 1:36

2:04 Bring your awareness to the area of your face, Report an error in the passage at 2:04 Highlight the passage at 2:04

2:12 soften and relax. All the muscles in the face, particularly the area of the mouth and jaw. Report an error in the passage at 2:12 Highlight the passage at 2:12

2:25 Let your forehead be open and spacious, eyes soft and relaxed. Report an error in the passage at 2:25 Highlight the passage at 2:25

2:59 Allow your breathing to settle into its natural rhythm without Report an error in the passage at 2:59 Highlight the passage at 2:59

3:08 trying to control the breath in any way. Simply allow the body to breathe itself in a natural, effortless way. Report an error in the passage at 3:08 Highlight the passage at 3:08

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3:52 And then settling the mind. In a state of ease and relaxation by letting go of any hopes or fears, worries or expectations about the past or the future. Report an error in the passage at 3:52 Highlight the passage at 3:52

4:13 Letting go of all of these things for the duration of this short session and allowing our mind to come to rest in the stillness of the present moment by focusing on the sensations of the breath. Report an error in the passage at 4:13 Highlight the passage at 4:13

4:36 So you can focus on the sensations of the breath either at the entrance of the nostrils or the sensations for the rising and lowering of the abdomen as we breathe. You Report an error in the passage at 4:36 Highlight the passage at 4:36

4:55 can focus on the breath for a few minutes to calm and focus the mind. We Report an error in the passage at 4:55 Highlight the passage at 4:55

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7:56 all want to be happy and we all want to be free of problems. Report an error in the passage at 7:56 Highlight the passage at 7:56

8:07 Often we tend to feel as if the source of our problems and sufferings And the source of our happiness lies out there in the world. Report an error in the passage at 8:07 Highlight the passage at 8:07

8:22 And so we try to manipulate the external conditions around us. No matter how hard we try to do this, we can never manage to find that elusive lasting happiness. And we always seem to encounter more problems and sufferings. Report an error in the passage at 8:22 Highlight the passage at 8:22

8:52 What the Buddha discovered was that the underlying source of our happiness And the underlying source of our problems and sufferings is not out there in the world. It lies within our own mind. Report an error in the passage at 8:52 Highlight the passage at 8:52

9:16 It's our disturbing emotions, such as anger and hatred and jealousy and craving, that is driving our behaviour and creating so many problems and sufferings for ourselves and those around us. Report an error in the passage at 9:16 Highlight the passage at 9:16

9:36 And what is underlying these disturbing emotions is this fundamental ignorance. Report an error in the passage at 9:36 Highlight the passage at 9:36

9:46 An ignorance that misunderstands the nature of reality, misunderstands how we exist and the world around us exists. Report an error in the passage at 9:46 Highlight the passage at 9:46

10:04 If we can uproot this ignorance, this self-grasping, if we can come to realize this wisdom of selflessness, we can eliminate this ignorance and hence all of our disturbing emotions and the suffering they produce. Report an error in the passage at 10:04 Highlight the passage at 10:04

10:30 So if we purify our mind, of these disturbing emotions and ignorance we can achieve that lasting happiness that we've been striving for. A happiness that doesn't rely on or require any stimulus being present. Report an error in the passage at 10:30 Highlight the passage at 10:30

11:03 For these discussions today we can develop the motivation of wishing to come to better understand how this ignorance It's driving our behavior and creating so many problems and sufferings. And then how to overcome this ignorance by developing the wisdom of selflessness, the wisdom of emptiness. Report an error in the passage at 11:03 Highlight the passage at 11:03

11:35 And thereby, we can not only overcome all of our own problems and sufferings, but we can achieve a state where we can be most beneficial in helping. Everyone else overcome their problems and sufferings as well. So let's try to develop, cultivate, generate this motivation, Report an error in the passage at 11:35 Highlight the passage at 11:35

12:08 our discussions today. Report an error in the passage at 12:08 Highlight the passage at 12:08

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12:59 So keeping this motivation in mind, we can now begin our discussions together. Report an error in the passage at 12:59 Highlight the passage at 12:59

13:27 So today's discussions is titled, I think, Wisdom of Selflessness. So what I thought we could do today is to... Focus on this ignorance, what it is and then particularly how this ignorance is leading to our disturbing emotions and that's driving our behaviour. Report an error in the passage at 13:27 Highlight the passage at 13:27

14:01 And then also this morning I want to look a little bit about how to also deal with some of these disturbing emotions sort of in the short term. Because to overcome our disturbing emotions fully, we need to overcome what's underlying them, this ignorance. And that's something that's long-term goal. So we need also some other methods to at least reduce our disturbing emotions in the short term while we're working towards that long-term goal. Report an error in the passage at 14:01 Highlight the passage at 14:01

14:43 So this morning I'd like to talk a little bit about ignorance, in particular the disturbing emotions that come out of that, and then a couple of techniques that we can apply now in a practical way to sort of keep the lid on them a little while we're working towards the long-term goal. And then this afternoon I'd like to focus then on this idea of selfness as an emptiness, this wisdom we need to develop to overcome the ignorance. Report an error in the passage at 14:43 Highlight the passage at 14:43

15:10 What it looks like and then how we go about developing that. So that's how I'd like to approach it. Report an error in the passage at 15:10 Highlight the passage at 15:10

15:21 And of course, any time you have some doubts about what I'm saying, you're not sure what I'm saying or it's not clear, please sort of ask some questions. So that can be very helpful. Otherwise, it's sort of one-way traffic and then I'm not sure whether you're understanding and following or I'm saying something a bit strange. Report an error in the passage at 15:21 Highlight the passage at 15:21

15:48 So, as I briefly mentioned in the short meditation beginning, is that we all have diverse aspirations in our life. Some people want to earn lots of money, some people want to have a career, some people want to have a good family life, some people want to travel, some people want to have a quiet life. Report an error in the passage at 15:48 Highlight the passage at 15:48

16:19 We have many different aspirations. Report an error in the passage at 16:19 Highlight the passage at 16:19

16:24 if we really look at all of those diverse aspirations and the things we're striving for, I think, as I mentioned in the meditation, most of them more or less boil down to the same thing, is that we simply all want to be happy and we all want to be free of problems and Report an error in the passage at 16:24 Highlight the passage at 16:24

16:43 And quite often we tend to feel as if the source of this happiness and the source of our problems and sufferings is some out there. So what we do is we... Try to manipulate the things around us. We try to attract those people, places and things that seem to be giving us happiness and then we try to push away or avoid those people, places and things that seem to give us problems and suffering. Report an error in the passage at 16:43 Highlight the passage at 16:43

17:15 So we're sort of in this pull-push game or attachment and aversion game and with very limited success. Sometimes we have a bit of happiness, sometimes we manage to avoid a few problems, but at the end of the day, it doesn't really give us the goal that we're searching for. Report an error in the passage at 17:15 Highlight the passage at 17:15

17:41 And very simply, of course, at a very simple level, superficial level, one of the reasons for that, of course, is that at the end of the day, we don't really have much control over the external conditions, particularly when those external conditions involve other people. We don't really have much control over what other people say and do. Report an error in the passage at 17:41 Highlight the passage at 17:41

18:04 And also, I think from our own personal experience, even if we manage to attract those things that seem to give us happiness, that's no guarantee that we're going to be happy. Because sometimes it doesn't make us happy, in fact, and actually creates problems for us. And so this approach of seeing happiness out there... Report an error in the passage at 18:04 Highlight the passage at 18:04

18:32 In modern psychology, we can say that people who have this as their main approach quite often have what's called a materialistic outlook on life, thinking that somehow fame and money and praise and good reputation and so forth is going to make us happy. But actually, also in psychology, it's understood that this approach to life is not really going to give us what we want. Report an error in the passage at 18:32 Highlight the passage at 18:32

19:03 In fact, I've got a quote here from a psychologist who says about this idea about a materialistic lifestyle. And he says, existing scientific research on the value of materialism yields clear and consistent findings. People who are highly focused on materialistic values have lower personal well-being and psychological health. Report an error in the passage at 19:03 Highlight the passage at 19:03

19:29 those who believe that materialistic pursuits are relatively unimportant. So even in psychology it's understood that if we really have a very materialistic way of life, then not only aren't we going to really find our happiness, but we're going to have lower psychological health and well-being than people who believe that materialistic values are not so important. Report an error in the passage at 19:29 Highlight the passage at 19:29

19:57 And that's certainly much in line with Buddhist thinking. Because, of course, the Buddha discovered that the source of suffering, the source of happiness is within ourselves. And so we need to look inside ourselves for source of suffering and source of happiness. Report an error in the passage at 19:57 Highlight the passage at 19:57

20:14 In fact, the word to be a Buddhist in Tibetan is Nangpa. Nang literally means inside and Pat means person. So a Nangpa or a Buddhist in Tibetan is someone who looks inside themselves. Report an error in the passage at 20:14 Highlight the passage at 20:14

20:34 Sometimes you'll see it as an inner being, an inner person as opposed to an outsider, someone who looks outside. Report an error in the passage at 20:34 Highlight the passage at 20:34

20:46 And so we need to look inside ourselves then for the source of happiness and the source of suffering. And as the Buddha discovered, there's the disturbing emotions that are underlying our problems and sufferings. Report an error in the passage at 20:46 Highlight the passage at 20:46

21:06 And from a Buddhist perspective, There are many different presentations on disturbing emotions. Report an error in the passage at 21:06 Highlight the passage at 21:06

21:16 Quite often you'll hear about the six root disturbing emotions, the twenty-secondary disturbing emotions, sometimes five disturbing emotions, many different lists. But I think with all of those we can condense them into this basically three core disturbing emotions, which are called the three poisons. Report an error in the passage at 21:16 Highlight the passage at 21:16

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22:09 The three poisons, and they're called poisons because they poison our mind, are ignorance. Report an error in the passage at 22:09 Highlight the passage at 22:09

22:18 With important terms I always like to give the Sanskrit term because part of the problem in Report an error in the passage at 22:18 Highlight the passage at 22:18

22:32 listening or reading Buddhist explanations is simply terminology problems because often key terms or many terms from the original Sanskrit or Pāli they have very precise meanings but unfortunately the English language Often there's not a word that has that same precise meaning. And so what the translator's forced to do is to pick a word that sort of is close to that. Report an error in the passage at 22:32 Highlight the passage at 22:32

23:02 But unfortunately often that word has other meanings in the English language. So when we hear that word, the meaning that we get is not really the same as... Report an error in the passage at 23:02 Highlight the passage at 23:02

23:13 And so for that case it's always good to go back to the original Sanskrit word and try and nail down what that word really means. So that when we hear the English word... Then we say, ah, okay, in the Buddhist context that word means this and not all these other things which I normally associate with this word. Report an error in the passage at 23:13 Highlight the passage at 23:13

23:32 So often a lot of confusion comes about simply in terminology. So I like to list a few Sanskrit words so that we can understand. So here, the Report an error in the passage at 23:32 Highlight the passage at 23:32

23:50 Sanskrit word for ignorance is avidya. Report an error in the passage at 23:50 Highlight the passage at 23:50

23:56 And avidya means sort of knowledge or knowing and art is the negative. So it means not knowing. So here, ignorance is a mind that is confused about its object. Report an error in the passage at 23:56 Highlight the passage at 23:56

24:17 So in general, the word ignorance is a mind that's confused about something, not knowing the object. But here in the three poisons, we're talking about a very specific ignorance. We're talking about an ignorance that misunderstands the nature of reality. Report an error in the passage at 24:17 Highlight the passage at 24:17

24:38 And this misunderstanding we can talk about at a number of levels. And we're going to mention two of those levels today. One is misunderstanding how we exist as a person. We sort of over-inflate our sense of me. We believe in this sort of solid me, autonomous me here. And so this is an idea in Sanskrit or in English, a belief in a self. And the original Sanskrit word for that is Ātman. Report an error in the passage at 24:38 Highlight the passage at 24:38

25:21 So an Ātman or a self is a belief in a sort of solid me here. At a deeper level, this ignorance is, and that's what we're going to mainly focus on this afternoon, is misunderstanding how... Report an error in the passage at 25:21 Highlight the passage at 25:21

25:42 We and the world around us exists. We believe that there is this independent me here and an independent objective world out there. So at the deepest level, the ignorance that we're suffering from is this belief in, another way of putting it, is a belief in duality. That there's a me here and a world there and that those two things are independent. So there's a subject-object duality happening. Report an error in the passage at 25:42 Highlight the passage at 25:42

26:13 That's what we believe in. On top of that, at a more coarse level, we also over-inflate the sense of me, this idea of self or ātman. And so we'll be looking at that as well. So that's what we're talking about here in ignorance or avidja, is this, at the deepest level, it's not simply not knowing, it's actually misunderstanding. Report an error in the passage at 26:13 Highlight the passage at 26:13

26:39 So ignorance here is misunderstanding belief. There is an independent me and an independent objective world out there. Now, that then leads to our disturbing emotions and how that happens we're going to look at a little bit later. But the two I want to focus on here is attachment and aversion. Now, let's look at aversion first and I'll come back to the attachment. Report an error in the passage at 26:39 Highlight the passage at 26:39

27:10 Aversion here, the word in Sanskrit for aversion, Report an error in the passage at 27:10 Highlight the passage at 27:10

27:23 And aversion is defined as a mental factor that sees its object as unattractive, it exaggerates the object's unattractiveness, and then, well, in fact, Report an error in the passage at 27:23 Highlight the passage at 27:23

27:44 what I want to focus on is a specific form of aversion, a very strong form of aversion, anger. Because a version can have Many various slight variations like from irritation to hatred to anger. It can manifest in a number of different ways. And so actually what I want to do is focus particularly on anger as one manifestation of aversion because it's a thing that is very prevalent in our society and creates so much destruction. Report an error in the passage at 27:44 Highlight the passage at 27:44

28:17 So actually the definition of anger is that anger is a mental factor. That sees its object as unattractive. It exaggerates the object's unattractiveness and then wishes to harm the object because it thinks the object is the source of our suffering. So this is the definition of anger. And what we see in that definition is that not only anger but all disturbing emotions distort reality. Report an error in the passage at 28:17 Highlight the passage at 28:17

28:52 They don't see things clearly. And this is also sort of understood in psychology. In fact, I've got a quote here from a book from His Holiness Dalai Lama where he was talking to a psychologist. And this is Dalai Lama speaking. He says, Recently a psychotherapist told me that when we generate anger, 90 % of the ugliness of the object of our anger is due to our own exaggeration. Report an error in the passage at 28:52 Highlight the passage at 28:52

29:22 This is very much in conformity with the Buddhist idea of how afflictive emotions arise. So it seems like also in psychology they understand that when we have things disturbing emotions like anger, we're not seeing things clearly, we distort reality, we exaggerate things. Report an error in the passage at 29:22 Highlight the passage at 29:22

29:43 And so what we find actually with attachment is the exact same thing. Attachment Report an error in the passage at 29:43 Highlight the passage at 29:43

29:55 in Sanskrit is what's called rāga. And the definition of attachment is sort of the flip side of anger. Attachment is defined as a mental factor that sees its object as attractive, it exaggerates the object's attractiveness and then wishes to possess and hold the object, thinking of course that it's the source of the habit. Report an error in the passage at 29:55 Highlight the passage at 29:55

30:21 So it's the opposite of anger. With attachment, it sees the object as attractive, exaggerates the object's attractiveness, And then wishes to possess and hold it, thinking that it's the source of our happiness. Now, there is, usually when we present things like this, of course these three poisons, what we're saying is we need to eliminate them, 100%. Report an error in the passage at 30:21 Highlight the passage at 30:21

30:48 But then there's usually a few doubts that come up. So, a few doubts, let's look at anger first. Report an error in the passage at 30:48 Highlight the passage at 30:48

31:00 Sometimes people say, though, Report an error in the passage at 31:00 Highlight the passage at 31:00

31:05 Because here we're saying we need to get rid of anger 100%, that anger is harmful. But sometimes people object to that and say, well, but sometimes anger is necessary. Report an error in the passage at 31:05 Highlight the passage at 31:05

31:17 I need anger sometimes in very difficult situations to be able to do something. Otherwise, without developing that anger, I can't really overcome that difficult situation because anger has a lot of force. It helps me to get through some really difficult things. Yes, it is true that anger has a lot of force behind it. Report an error in the passage at 31:17 Highlight the passage at 31:17

31:38 But again, the problem is, and we saw from the definition, that anger completely distorts reality. And we know from our own experience, when we're really angry, we're not really seeing things clearly, and then our ability to think about, our ability to respond to that situation in a good way gets confused, because we're not seeing things clearly. Report an error in the passage at 31:38 Highlight the passage at 31:38

32:06 End up saying and doing things that we later regret because we weren't seeing the situation clearly at the time. So the problem is with anger is that even though it's very forceful, it completely distorts reality. We're not seeing the situation clearly and often instead of solving the problem, in fact, the problem gets worse because of this exaggeration, distortion. Report an error in the passage at 32:06 Highlight the passage at 32:06

32:32 And so that's the thing. And, um, And so one of the reasons that actually anger comes about in the first place is because of a thing which I use, the word is called cognitive fusion, is Report an error in the passage at 32:32 Highlight the passage at 32:32

33:09 that, and it's a little bit of a term I think from modern psychology, this idea of fusion is where two things are fused into one. And so here with anger and also other disturbing emotions, What we're doing is we are fusing the person and their behaviour together. We're making them one thing. And that can easily lead to disturbing emotions such as anger. For instance, if someone is doing a harmful action, particularly if that harmful action is towards us, we do this cognitive fusion. Report an error in the passage at 33:09 Highlight the passage at 33:09

33:51 We identify that person with their action and then we label that person like, Bad person, nasty person, horrible person, evil person. So we've identified the person with their action. In fact, there's two things there. There's the person and then there's their action or behaviour. But we've identified them and we have that process in our language by when someone's doing something bad or harmful, we say bad person, nasty person, harmful person. Report an error in the passage at 33:51 Highlight the passage at 33:51

34:21 Then, of course, once we've done that cognitive fusion, in fact distorted reality, By making two things into one, then it leaves us in not a very good position because then, since we don't like that harmful behaviour, particularly when it's directed towards us, then we end up attacking the person because we've identified that harmful behaviour with the person. Report an error in the passage at 34:21 Highlight the passage at 34:21

34:47 So we end up attacking the person, saying nasty things to the person. Also, of course... What can happen is if that person is someone close to us, Report an error in the passage at 34:47 Highlight the passage at 34:47

35:03 a family or partner, and we don't want to attack the person, then the only other option available to us is that we end up accepting their bad behaviour because we've stuck them together, the person and the behaviour. So either we attack the person or the other option open to us is we simply accept their bad behaviour, which of course also is not very helpful. Report an error in the passage at 35:03 Highlight the passage at 35:03

35:30 And then, of course, forgiveness becomes almost impossible because if we've identified the person and their behaviour, trying to forgive a bad, nasty, horrible person feels like we're saying that what they did was okay, that it doesn't matter, it's okay, because we've identified the person and their behaviour. Report an error in the passage at 35:30 Highlight the passage at 35:30

35:56 And so forgiveness becomes almost impossible. Whereas if we don't do this cognitive, If we correctly understand there's a person there engaging in some sort of harmful, negative, bad behaviour, then what we can do, instead of developing anger and attacking the person because we don't like the bad behaviour, is that we can look at that person and see that that person just wants to be happy like us, but because of their disturbing emotions... Report an error in the passage at 35:56 Highlight the passage at 35:56

36:29 That's driving them to engage in this harmful behaviour. So if we understand that and we don't identify the person in the behaviour, then we can develop some compassion for the person and at the same time not accept their bad behaviour and condemn the bad behaviour because we haven't put them together. Report an error in the passage at 36:29 Highlight the passage at 36:29

36:49 So we can have compassion for the person and be very firm against their harmful negative behaviour. So we don't end up attacking the person. Really be firm against their behaviour but have compassion for the person. So instead of anger, compassion. And that compassion can be very strong and forceful. Report an error in the passage at 36:49 Highlight the passage at 36:49

37:08 And that compassion can help us to not accept their bad behaviour but not attack the person. And therefore we can forgive the person and at the same time help that person to overcome the bad behaviour. Report an error in the passage at 37:08 Highlight the passage at 37:08

37:27 And one other point on this anger which is often misunderstood. From a Buddhist perspective, is that, you know, very often you'll hear in Buddhist teachings, the antidote to anger is patience. It's patience. Lot has talked about patience. But again, people misunderstand that, thinking that what patience means is just sort of sit there and do nothing. Report an error in the passage at 37:27 Highlight the passage at 37:27

37:56 This is not patience. This is a behaviour. Patience is not a behaviour. Patience is a mental attitude. Patience is defined as a mind. that is undisturbed the face of the So, patience is a mental attitude. It's a calm, clear mind in the face of a difficult situation. Then, with that calm, clear mind, with the patient mind, we can more clearly see what the situation is, then we have a better chance of deciding how to respond. Report an error in the passage at 37:56 Highlight the passage at 37:56

38:31 So, with patience, we can decide, depending on the situation, we can... Be very forceful. If, for instance, if someone is physically attacking us, then generally what happens, of course, is we identify the person with their behaviour, we get extremely angry at that person for attacking us for no reason at all, we attack them back or say something horrible and the whole thing escalates and it's a big mess. Report an error in the passage at 38:31 Highlight the passage at 38:31

38:59 Whereas here, if we have patience and that person is physically attacking us, we can remain calm and clear. This is patience. See the situation better, decide how best to respond. And it may be that we use physical force to restrain that person. But because we haven't identified the person in behaviour, we're not attacking the person. We actually have maybe compassion for the person and try to use physical force to restrain that person to try and calm them down. Report an error in the passage at 38:59 Highlight the passage at 38:59

39:30 So we can use a lot of physical force if need be with patience. So patience is not a behaviour, it's a mental attitude. Report an error in the passage at 39:30 Highlight the passage at 39:30

39:40 Yes, so again, understanding or wisdom... Right, but... Exactly, and that's the key, is that of course with anger, we distort the situation. When it's distorted, we're not developing wisdom, because we're not seeing things clearly. Whereas with patience, if we stay calm and clear, we have a better chance to see the situation more clearly. Report an error in the passage at 39:40 Highlight the passage at 39:40

40:10 Because usually... When we have anger, we're only seeing the situation from my perspective. We're not even thinking about the other person. We're just thinking about me, me, me, me, me. So then there's very limited understanding. Have a very narrow perspective. But with patience, remaining calm and clear, we can have a much broader perspective of the situation and try to see how also that other person is seeing the situation. Report an error in the passage at 40:10 Highlight the passage at 40:10

40:36 So then we can have a better chance of developing understanding. Of what the situation is, of course. Report an error in the passage at 40:36 Highlight the passage at 40:36

40:47 So, one more thing, of course, is that with anger, see the thing is, some people understand that anger is harmful and they don't want to express it, but they don't know how to deal with it when it's coming up, so they push it back down, they suppress it, repress it. From a Buddhist perspective, expressing anger and suppressing are both harmful. Report an error in the passage at 40:47 Highlight the passage at 40:47

41:19 Expressing is immediately harmful. Suppressing is immediately harmful in that usually suppressing it has a very heavy negative effect on the physical body, but also the longer term suppressing it has very much damaging effect on our mental state as well because of that suppression. Because it takes a lot of energy to suppress it and by suppressing it we're not acknowledging it, we're not owning it, which means we can still feel that it's there. Report an error in the passage at 41:19 Highlight the passage at 41:19

41:49 But what we do is we generally project it outwards. Because suppressing it doesn't make it go away. We can feel the anger is there, but we don't want to own it. And then we feel it and we go, oh yeah, yeah, I can see, I can feel there's a lot of anger here. But it's not me. I'm not angry. All those people are angry. Report an error in the passage at 41:49 Highlight the passage at 41:49

42:11 So we tend to project it outwards. And one way to notice if we're doing this projecting is... If we are in situations where someone's behaviour really irritates us, but it doesn't seem to affect anyone else, just us, where the only person that really sees this person as irritating, everyone else has no problem with them, this is often a very sure sign that that person is displaying some sort of behaviour that we may have a little bit that we're not acknowledging ourself. Report an error in the passage at 42:11 Highlight the passage at 42:11

42:45 So it's like a mirror in our face. And that's why we feel irritated, because it's showing to us something about ourselves we don't want to acknowledge. That's why we get irritated by it. So, check. Anytime that you feel irritated about someone's behaviour, of course, if everyone else is irritated, it may be genuinely that that person is doing something obnoxious. Report an error in the passage at 42:45 Highlight the passage at 42:45

43:07 But if it's a certain person or a certain thing that seems to irritate us a lot, but no one else seems to be worried about it, check. And see deep down, do I have a little bit of this behaviour myself that I don't want to acknowledge? So this can also be very helpful. Report an error in the passage at 43:07 Highlight the passage at 43:07

43:28 So we don't need anger in difficult situations. So if we can avoid that cognitive fusion, if we can have patience, then we can really be calm and clear. And then with strong compassion for a person, we can be very forceful if need be. So we don't need to resort to anger to be forceful. Report an error in the passage at 43:28 Highlight the passage at 43:28

43:57 Then attachment is something that's more... I mean, generally people sort of understand that anger is quite harmful and that we really need to get rid of it. So generally people don't have too much problem with anger. But when it comes to attachment, it's a completely different story. And a lot of the problem here with attachment is simply the word. Report an error in the passage at 43:57 Highlight the passage at 43:57

44:22 Simply the word, the term. Because that word attachment in modern psychology tends to have a very positive flavour. So I think in psychology, I'm no expert, but I think in psychology there are actually forms of attachment that we need and we need to cultivate to have a healthy attitude. But of course that word that's being used there is not the same word here mentioned as attachment. So it's not so much that Buddhism and... Report an error in the passage at 44:22 Highlight the passage at 44:22

44:53 Psychology are disagreeing about attachment. It's more that the same word is used to describe two different things in psychology and in Buddhism. And so since we have a little bit of impact from psychology, when we hear the word attachment, that's sort of the meaning that we get from that word attachment. Report an error in the passage at 44:53 Highlight the passage at 44:53

45:16 In fact, I've got a couple of definitions from psychology about the word attachment. One here... It says that attachment is an enduring emotional tie to a special person, characterised by a tendency to seek and maintain closeness, especially during times of stress. Another definition of attachment from psychology is a feeling that binds one to a person, thing, cause or the like. Report an error in the passage at 45:16 Highlight the passage at 45:16

45:49 And another definition is a feeling of affection for a person. So of course these definitions of attachment in psychology is not defining the same idea in Buddhism. Attachment in Buddhism is defined as, again, a mental factor that sees its object as attractive, it exaggerates the object's attractiveness and then wishes to possess and hold the object, thinking that it's the source of our happiness. Report an error in the passage at 45:49 Highlight the passage at 45:49

46:21 So this word in psychology and Buddhism are referring to quite different things. In fact, one of the synonyms that's often used for attachment in psychology is, in fact there are a couple here, affection, devotion, regard, loyalty and love. Most of those are very positive connotations. Of course, attachment in Buddhism doesn't mean any of those things. Report an error in the passage at 46:21 Highlight the passage at 46:21

46:50 And attachment in Buddhism is something that's harmful. So one of the big problems when we come to attachment is simply just terminology. Because often people have more this sort of psychology understanding of attachment. And when Buddhism comes along and says, oh, we need to get rid of attachment, it's harmful. Report an error in the passage at 46:50 Highlight the passage at 46:50

47:10 Then people think, oh, if I get rid of attachment, then life's going to be very dull and boring. I'm certainly not going to be able to have any relationships because without attachment, how can you have a relationship? And how can I enjoy things without attachment? Impossible. In fact, my life's going to be very dull and boring, so I'm not going to get rid of attachment. In fact, I'm a creative person and if I don't have attachment, I can't be creative. Report an error in the passage at 47:10 Highlight the passage at 47:10

47:41 Again, there'll be no creativity if I get rid of attachment. Again, this is all misunderstanding in terms of what attachment is. In fact, if we really understand what attachment is from a Buddhist perspective and we get rid of it, then life will become much more interesting than it is now. We'll be able to have much better relationships with others. We'll be able to enjoy life much more and we'll be able to be more creative than we are now. Report an error in the passage at 47:41 Highlight the passage at 47:41

48:16 So in fact, the exact opposite. And to highlight... The difference a little bit is that, again, quite often, particularly when it comes to relationships, we tend to think that attachment and love are the same thing. Report an error in the passage at 48:16 Highlight the passage at 48:16

48:37 And so if we get rid of attachment, we're sort of getting rid of our love. But here, of course, love in Buddhism, or love in kindness, in Sanskrit is maitri, or in Pāli, mettā. And it's defined as the wish for someone to be happy. And so the definition of love or loving kindness is the wish for someone to be happy. Report an error in the passage at 48:37 Highlight the passage at 48:37

49:04 And the fine print in the definition is without expecting anything in return. So what we would then call that as unconditional love. No strings attached love. Strings attached love is love polluted by attachment. So love with attachment together. Polluted by attachment is saying, I wish you to be happy as long as, this is the attachment clause, as long as you keep saying and doing things that make me happy. Report an error in the passage at 49:04 Highlight the passage at 49:04

49:40 I'll love you that long. If you stop saying and doing things that make me happy, I'm going to stop loving you. So this is love polluted by attachment. So very simply, the difference between love or loving kindness and attachment, love is saying, I want you to be happy. Attachment is saying, I want you to make me happy. So attachment's all about me, me, me, me, and love is about everyone, others. Report an error in the passage at 49:40 Highlight the passage at 49:40

50:08 So this is how we need to try to distinguish between love and attachment and to understand what attachment means in a Buddhist context. Otherwise, we can not really understand what attachment is in Buddhism. And not be able to distinguish it from genuine love and thereby not be able to somehow reduce that. Report an error in the passage at 50:08 Highlight the passage at 50:08

50:33 Because if we can really reduce the attachment part of our relationships, our relationships will improve. In our enjoyment of the world, our enjoyment will improve, will increase. Because now, for example, let's say we like chocolate cake. But we have strong attachment to chocolate cake. Then, of course, what happens is if we particularly have strong attachment to chocolate cake and we're about to get some, if we go to the shop and there's a little one piece left there and the person in front of us buys it, what happens? Report an error in the passage at 50:33 Highlight the passage at 50:33

51:13 We get a little bit sort of upset. Oh, I don't get my chocolate cake. And, of course, even if we get our chocolate cake, if we have strong attachment, we're looking at it and go... Report an error in the passage at 51:13 Highlight the passage at 51:13

51:24 And so, of course, what we do is we... Eat it about three times as fast as we should. We don't really savour the taste because we've got to get it in there and quite often we'll eat more than we really should and so we end up feeling sick. So we're not really enjoying it while we're eating it and then of course if it's just about to finish we may even get sort of anxious, oh it's about finished, I'm running out of chocolate cake, what am I going to do? Report an error in the passage at 51:24 Highlight the passage at 51:24

51:51 So we really get into a not a very good state, not enjoy it. End up with a lot of craving and so forth. Whereas if we can really reduce that attachment and then we happen to like chocolate cake, then if we go to the shop and then the person in front of us gets the last piece, we go, okay, doesn't matter. Report an error in the passage at 51:51 Highlight the passage at 51:51

52:13 It's there, it's okay. If it's not, it's okay. Doesn't matter. Next time. And then if we get the piece of chocolate cake, we certainly won't cut a huge slice and eat too much. And then when we're actually eating it, we'll actually be enjoying the taste of the chocolate cake while we're eating it. So, in fact, our enjoyment will increase. Report an error in the passage at 52:13 Highlight the passage at 52:13

52:35 Likewise, our relationships will improve. And also, creativity. Often people say, you know, we talk about relationships and enjoying things. They'll say, yeah, yeah, but, but, I'm a creative person. Report an error in the passage at 52:35 Highlight the passage at 52:35

52:53 I need this fuel of attachment and even sometimes anger as fuel for my creative process. Without them, I can't be creative. Report an error in the passage at 52:53 Highlight the passage at 52:53

53:04 Of course, it's true that experiences where we've had a lot of anger and attachment can be used as input into the creative process to describe our reality. But I think you'll find that at the time of the creative process, anger and craving and all these disturbing emotions actually block the creative process. Report an error in the passage at 53:04 Highlight the passage at 53:04

53:37 I think when people really have those insights and that creative spark coming up, generally it's when the mind is still. Maybe they've had a lot of input from suffering and disturbing emotions and stuff as fuel. But the actual creative process, I think, happens best or comes, the real creative process comes from deep within our own mind. Report an error in the passage at 53:37 Highlight the passage at 53:37

54:03 That's where our creativity is really based. It's based at a very much more subtle level of mind. And of course, if our mind is agitated and so forth, that's blocking access to that deeper level of mind and blocking the ability for... Things from the deeper level of mind coming to the surface. Whereas when the mind is very still and calm, then that creativity can come through more easily. Report an error in the passage at 54:03 Highlight the passage at 54:03

54:32 I mean, even I think great scientists like Einstein didn't have their insights when they were thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking. It's when they had thought about things a lot, let it go, and then their mind was still, and then, oof, up comes the idea. I think from our own experience. Often when some spark of something comes up, it's because we're not really thinking about it and we're quite calm and all of a sudden, seemingly out of nowhere, this good idea came up. Report an error in the passage at 54:32 Highlight the passage at 54:32

55:00 And same with, I think, creative people. Also on top of that, of course, is if we have a lot of disturbing emotions like attachment and aversion and anger as a creative person, then what happens, of course, is those disturbing emotions... Highjack the creative process and turn it into a big ego trip. We create something and go, look at me, how wonderful a person I am, how creative I am. Report an error in the passage at 55:00 Highlight the passage at 55:00

55:34 The whole ego trip. Whereas if we can smash these disturbing emotions, then not only will the creativity come through more, but our motivation for being creative will be more positive and genuine. We'll be trying to... Be creative to benefit others. That through our creative process, we can have a better motivation of not being simply a big ego trip, but rather use our creative process, our creative talents, to produce something that hopefully will inspire other people and help them to be a better person or inspire them in some positive way. Report an error in the passage at 55:34 Highlight the passage at 55:34

56:13 So I think that the really true great creative people are a little bit like this. So anyway, just a little bit on that. Report an error in the passage at 56:13 Highlight the passage at 56:13

56:27 Any questions on these three poisons? So I've tried to sort of make it a little bit more clear what I mean by these three poisons, particularly the attachment and the aversion, because there's a lot of misunderstanding about what they mean. Report an error in the passage at 56:27 Highlight the passage at 56:27

56:41 Any questions? Report an error in the passage at 56:41 Highlight the passage at 56:41

56:49 Pāli or Sanskrit, English doesn't happen Report an error in the passage at 56:49 Highlight the passage at 56:49

56:56 are you going to get it Report an error in the passage at 56:56 Highlight the passage at 56:56

57:06 India to Tibet. The Tibetan language, at the time there was no written language. The Tibetan written language is actually designed for Buddhism. So the Tibetan written language is precise, again. But of course English language has existed for a long time. So I think here, and I see this a lot, is a lot of confusion is simply terminology. Report an error in the passage at 57:06 Highlight the passage at 57:06

57:31 So whenever I run any courses... And there are key words that are often misunderstood, simply the word. I always go back, as here, to the original Sanskrit term and try and nail down what that term means. So that when we hear, for instance, attachment, we know that from a Buddhist perspective, attachment means a mental factor that sees something as attractive, exaggerates the attractiveness and wishes to hold and possess that thing. Report an error in the passage at 57:31 Highlight the passage at 57:31

58:02 So actually you see there attachment turns, if it's attachment towards a person, actually attachment turns the person into a thing, a possession, which is very dehumanising, I think. Report an error in the passage at 58:02 Highlight the passage at 58:02

58:16 I mean, if someone has that idea to us, we don't like to be thought of as a thing, a possession. We don't feel good about that. So I think there it's very important to... really use those original Sanskrit terms in those situations and unfortunately on top of I find that very disturbing because I like things to be... Report an error in the passage at 58:16 Highlight the passage at 58:16

58:59 and so therefore, I like... Particularly when I read a book. If someone's teaching, I can ask a question, what do you mean by that word? But in a book, you can't. I like when authors in a book, when they come into using a term, in brackets, the first time they use it, they say what the Sanskrit word is, or the Tibetan word at least. Report an error in the passage at 58:59 Highlight the passage at 58:59

59:18 I go, ah, okay, now I know what they mean. Because sometimes their language is very... Sometimes even the word they use in English, I'm going, what does that mean? Or what's that word a translation of? And so I really think that, and now what encourages me a lot is that I think many people understand this, so that now there are a number of groups in various fields coming together to try to standardise translation terms. Report an error in the passage at 59:18 Highlight the passage at 59:18

59:47 So I know personally of a number of groups around the world where a lot of the translators from different fields are coming together to try to nail down translation terms for Sanskrit words, to try to minimise at least using different English words for the same Sanskrit. And removing some of the cultural shades? Report an error in the passage at 59:47 Highlight the passage at 59:47

1:00:13 And then come up with that word. Well, I mean, you still have to use some sort of English word. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:13 Highlight the passage at 1:00:13

1:00:26 Then when we see that where we know, oh, that's this Sanskrit word. And then if we've understood the original meaning, like attachment, then we can understand really from a Buddhist perspective what that word means. Because it means it's quite different than in psychology. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:26 Highlight the passage at 1:00:26

1:00:53 But of course, unfortunately, some people who write books are not very consistent. And I particularly don't like those authors. And so also... . Report an error in the passage at 1:00:53 Highlight the passage at 1:00:53

1:01:06 Because even though they may have very nice language, in the beginning of the book they're using some word for rāga and then later they'll use a different word for the same thing because it sounds nice in that context and you can't link them together. I mean, I've seen that because I can read a little bit of Tibetan and I can see that sometimes when people are translating some Tibetan verses and then I realise that this person has used that English word to... Report an error in the passage at 1:01:06 Highlight the passage at 1:01:06

1:01:33 And then he's used three or four different English words to translate the same Tibetan word at different times. And of course, the person reading English probably is not going to be aware of that and couldn't tie them together. I mean, it really is. So I really like authors who, maybe the English, the word they've chosen is maybe not the word I would choose, but at least they're consistent within the text. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:33 Highlight the passage at 1:01:33

1:01:57 So then you know that they're consistently using the same word. Whereas some other authors... Because of it sounds more flowery or sounds more, you know, and these people, when you read their works, unfortunately, they sound really nice because they use very nice language. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:57 Highlight the passage at 1:01:57

1:02:15 It's very nice to read, but so much meaning is lost. So it's a very delicate balance because, of course, it needs to be readable. I mean, if you make it very terse, people are not going to read it. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:15 Highlight the passage at 1:02:15

1:02:34 No, no. I mean, it's just, again, it is. But fortunately, like I said, these days what I see is now there's a number of groups of translators coming together to really try and standardise translation terms. And that's important. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:34 Highlight the passage at 1:02:34

1:03:03 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:03 Highlight the passage at 1:03:03

1:03:17 Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. And that's... Exactly. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:17 Highlight the passage at 1:03:17

1:03:29 I remember talking to a lady once about this in one of my classes. In fact, you know, what does a parent do if a young child does something bad? Bad boy, bad girl. I mean, it's a disaster. I mean, it's a disaster. Yeah, but then the child ends up going, if it's bad or if it's good. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:29 Highlight the passage at 1:03:29

1:03:48 And, you know, I remember one example I really liked was, you know, we get cognitive fusion is that we also get, we fuse with... contents of our mind. You know, like if we have anger in our mind... up. There's me, and then there's anger in the mind. What do we say? I am angry. It's a disaster. mean, we've identified with anger. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:48 Highlight the passage at 1:03:48

1:04:16 I mean, basically we've said, when we say, I'm angry, there you go, anger, you're the boss, away you go. And this cognitive fusion is a disaster. They Report an error in the passage at 1:04:16 Highlight the passage at 1:04:16

1:04:28 like saying, you know, the anger has overtaken me, therefore I can do it. Yeah, but it's destructive. And also, of course, people feel stuck. Because they've identified with that, you know, and we talk about change, but people go, I'm just an angry person, that's me. I mean, this is just a nightmare. It's a nightmare. But it was really interesting, one lady, after one class, came to me and says, we were talking about this idea about cognitive fusion, particularly with young children, and anger. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:28 Highlight the passage at 1:04:28

1:04:57 She says, oh yeah, I use this technique that seems to work quite well, is when my little child, she had two little children, I can't remember, quite young, When they got angry, she'd say, oh look, there's that anger coming up in your mind now, that anger thing again. And so that would force a child to sort of, to not identify, to go, oh, that anger thing, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:57 Highlight the passage at 1:04:57

1:05:18 There it is, there it is. There it is in my mind. So then the child would not get overwhelmed so much, but be able to look at that anger. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:18 Highlight the passage at 1:05:18

1:05:28 So this is, I mean, it's, and the same thing goes with, you know, When the child's misbehaving, if you're punishing the child, this is disaster. Of course we need to discipline, but you need to address their bad behaviour and be kind to the child, but be firm against their harmful behaviour. Because if you're punishing the child, what do we do in our penal system? We punish people. And generally when we punish people and put them in jail and punish them in jail, they come out worse, don't they? Report an error in the passage at 1:05:28 Highlight the passage at 1:05:28

1:06:03 I think statistics show that. No, but that's what I mean, is if we need to punish crimes but help the person to overcome it. So I think now penal institutions where they're trying to reform prisoners can have some success. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:03 Highlight the passage at 1:06:03

1:06:21 So yeah, this cognitive fusion is in so many areas. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:21 Highlight the passage at 1:06:21

1:06:31 I'll just start, no Report an error in the passage at 1:06:31 Highlight the passage at 1:06:31

1:06:36 maybe you want, it's break time actually. Let's have a break and then what I want to do after the break. Before lunch is have a look at how ignorance leads to these sorts of disturbing emotions, how that's driving our behaviour, how that whole process works. So we'll have a look at that after the break. So let's take a 20 minute break and come back at 11.30. So for a cuppa. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:36 Highlight the passage at 1:06:36