Discovering Buddhism - Death and Rebirth (3 April 2009)

0:22 With the wish to free all beings, I shall always go for refuge to Buddha, Dharma and Saṅgha until I reach full enlightenment. Inspired by wisdom and compassion, today in the Buddha's presence, I generate the mind of full awakening for the benefit of all sentient beings. As long as space remains, as long as sentient beings remain, until then may I too remain. Report an error in the passage at 0:22 Highlight the passage at 0:22

0:50 and dispel the miseries of the world. So Report an error in the passage at 0:50 Highlight the passage at 0:50

1:04 let's talk about this week, or the last two days. Report an error in the passage at 1:04 Highlight the passage at 1:04

1:11 People have questions about it. This stuff can be very intense, especially at the rate that we're going with it. This particular version of this course, doing it like this twice a week. Report an error in the passage at 1:11 Highlight the passage at 1:11

1:25 It's like you're cramming death. So let's talk about it. Let's see how you guys are doing. Report an error in the passage at 1:25 Highlight the passage at 1:25

1:40 There's some puzzled looks, there's some avoidance. I don't see any, there's some shuffling of paper. Report an error in the passage at 1:40 Highlight the passage at 1:40

1:51 I don't put you on the spot, but I definitely want to open it up if you would like to talk about it. We have time to talk about it. We can make time to talk about it. Did you read Lama Yeshu's poem? Report an error in the passage at 1:51 Highlight the passage at 1:51

2:02 Does anybody have any comments about that? Yeah, do you want to pass it to the mic back to your mom? I Report an error in the passage at 2:02 Highlight the passage at 2:02

2:14 haven't spent a lot of time thinking about my own death. And so for me, the poem was really refreshing, and I found it really interesting. And since you said read it, you know, spend a lot of time on it, I did. And I kind of enjoyed it. Excellent. Excellent. Yeah. No? Report an error in the passage at 2:14 Highlight the passage at 2:14

2:47 All right, I'll pay you later then. Report an error in the passage at 2:47 Highlight the passage at 2:47

2:53 Yeah, well, feel free. We'll check in again at the end of class if you want to. I knew it. Report an error in the passage at 2:53 Highlight the passage at 2:53

3:02 There's just one little section of the poem that I really liked on the first page. It says, we exist in a dance between life and death, a mass drama with one actor changing character, one face then another and another moving and changing. It just kind of brings everything into one little idea. Yeah, me too, me too. And especially after you have read that one quote of the Buddhas, which I'm not sure if I have, but the one that, you know, he says that about the life to life is like, Actors in a play, you know, so you can kind of see where he got that one from. Report an error in the passage at 3:02 Highlight the passage at 3:02

3:41 No, not yet. Report an error in the passage at 3:41 Highlight the passage at 3:41

3:47 Are you okay? Okay. That adds additional drama to this moment. Report an error in the passage at 3:47 Highlight the passage at 3:47

3:58 Yeah, no, I think so too. I love that part, actually. Any other comments about either the meditation or the class? Tuesday or the reading? Okay. Report an error in the passage at 3:58 Highlight the passage at 3:58

4:18 The point, it's good, I think, which is why we spent, even though we got a little bit giddy, I do apologize for that on Tuesday. Report an error in the passage at 4:18 Highlight the passage at 4:18

4:29 The reason that we spend some time thinking about the advantages and the disadvantages is that sometimes you need to draw on those. You know, like, why am I doing this again? Report an error in the passage at 4:29 Highlight the passage at 4:29

4:40 What's the point of this again? I think even in a conventional non-spiritual sense, it's worthwhile for us to consider our own deaths because it's going to happen, just practically speaking. So just from a practical standpoint, it's good to prepare our minds and it's good to prepare our family and loved ones. It's very, very good to do a will. Report an error in the passage at 4:40 Highlight the passage at 4:40

5:06 It's very, very good to decide. Kind of the things that you want in place. And we'll actually spend a little bit of time talking about that. So just from the completely conventional point of view, it's worthwhile to do. Report an error in the passage at 5:06 Highlight the passage at 5:06

5:21 She locked you in. You can't leave. Report an error in the passage at 5:21 Highlight the passage at 5:21

5:29 But from the Buddhist point of view, all those, the list that we spend so much time with are really talking about more from your... Spiritual practice, you know, from that point of view, the importance is huge. Because otherwise, you know, you'll basically just have a sunny day kind of a spiritual practice. Report an error in the passage at 5:29 Highlight the passage at 5:29

5:54 You know, you'll do it or actually a rainy day. Sometimes it ends up being people come here when things are going bad. That's this I've seen in the amount I've been here 10 years. I worked here for nine. Report an error in the passage at 5:54 Highlight the passage at 5:54

6:07 People show up when they're out of work or their partner left them or, you know, they're in tears and, you know, mother died or, you know, diagnosis of cancer or something like that. And they'll come and they'll be really, really involved for a while. And then they'll get a new partner, a new job and they'll get it. You know, something will go right. Report an error in the passage at 6:07 Highlight the passage at 6:07

6:26 And then we just don't with some of them we never see again. You know, just life is like that. So part of. Thinking about all those different reasons of why it's important for us to think about our own death, meditate on it, to really get it through our thick skulls, basically, as my father would say, is to change that, to get it that life goes up and down, but the more stable our mind can be as we go through that, first of all, life will be better. Report an error in the passage at 6:26 Highlight the passage at 6:26

6:58 And then secondly, the larger picture is that this isn't the only life. At least from a Buddhist point of view. Whether you yourself have accepted that is another point. Is there somebody up there? Report an error in the passage at 6:58 Highlight the passage at 6:58

7:13 It's something I heard sort of a... Is it? Is it a human? Report an error in the passage at 7:13 Highlight the passage at 7:13

7:31 That was far more information than I needed. Report an error in the passage at 7:31 Highlight the passage at 7:31

7:37 Okay, I'm kind of glad you didn't have a mic. Report an error in the passage at 7:37 Highlight the passage at 7:37

7:43 I thought I heard something behind my head because I thought it was the mice thing again because we actually years ago had so many mice at one point that they would run around on the altar while I was teaching. And that's exactly, you hear a gasp and I'd be like, you know, and they would be like jumping into the water bowl and stuff. So that's what I thought was happening. Report an error in the passage at 7:43 Highlight the passage at 7:43

8:03 I don't know what's going on, nor do I want to. Let's get back to the fact that we're dying. Report an error in the passage at 8:03 Highlight the passage at 8:03

8:12 Anyway. It's sometimes, you know, part of my job is sometimes to be the tough person. And so that's why it's kind of, that's why I keep wanting to check in with you guys and make sure that you guys are all still with me and we're all still on this path for the same reason. And, you know, I haven't lost somebody and somebody isn't like freaking out somewhere in the corner and just not sharing. So that's why I may just continue to sort of reach out and encourage you guys to talk about it if I don't hear from you. Report an error in the passage at 8:12 Highlight the passage at 8:12

8:46 The point isn't to get freaked out and the point isn't to scare ourselves. The point is to really just to look deeply into what happens so that we can use it to transform the rest of our lives, which we could have 50 years, you know. At least some of us might. And so if we don't put some thought into it now, it just passes. Those of us of a certain age know how quickly that can pass. Report an error in the passage at 8:46 Highlight the passage at 8:46

9:12 And it's shocking. I think it just gets faster and faster at a certain point. So that's the reason that we're trying to cultivate this awareness. So that doesn't surprise us. It doesn't shock us. And it's easier for us to deal with whatever happens in a more peaceful, calm way. And ultimately then that leads to a better rebirth, according to the Buddhist teachings on karma. Report an error in the passage at 9:12 Highlight the passage at 9:12

9:41 Ultimately, the Buddha teaches that it's totally possible for us to go beyond death altogether, but if we don't even really recognize that we're going to die, we'll probably never act on those teachings. We'll never really try to put this path into action. Whatever the path is that you choose, I'm just speaking from a Buddhist point of view because that's where we are as a Buddhist center. Report an error in the passage at 9:41 Highlight the passage at 9:41

10:08 The essence of Buddha's teachings is that it is possible to transcend this whole crazy samsaric condition that we're in that I was sort of describing in the part on refuge. Report an error in the passage at 10:08 Highlight the passage at 10:08

10:22 And one of the worst aspects of saṃsāra is this whole fact that we have to die over and over and over again, not just in this life, but in all of our lives. We have to go through this. Report an error in the passage at 10:22 Highlight the passage at 10:22

10:35 There is a choice and the Buddha is sort of just pointing it out. It's like, hey guys, you guys can actually get out of this mess altogether. So it begins with beginning to get what the condition is that we're in right now. So that's why we're spending time on it. Report an error in the passage at 10:35 Highlight the passage at 10:35

10:54 So back to this meditation, then we're going to do the second part of the three part or the nine part. The second of the three parts is that the time of death is uncertain. Traditionally we would have spent months and months and probably years on the first part until we gained some. They usually say with any of the lamrim meditations that you meditate on them over and over and over again until you gain some realization. Which depends on the person actually because of course we don't know what. Report an error in the passage at 10:54 Highlight the passage at 10:54

11:08 Traditionally, Report an error in the passage at 11:08 Highlight the passage at 11:08

11:29 Our karma is for having already meditated on this in our last life, you know. So some people hit realizations of it sooner than others. But still there's some thought that most of us have to spend some time meditating on it. And then we'd move on to the next set. Report an error in the passage at 11:29 Highlight the passage at 11:29

11:49 This second one, I think the second one is the most powerful one. At least it was for me. Because... The first one is sort of, I mean, I've had strong experiences with the first one. I actually had stronger experiences with the first one after I had strong experience with the second one. When I returned to the meditation a couple years after I had meditated extensively on it, then I had some really strong experiences with the first part. Report an error in the passage at 11:49 Highlight the passage at 11:49

12:18 But there's this part of me that's sort of like intellectually, yes, we all know that death is certain. The second part is where it kind of grabs you. The fact that, yeah, it is, the time of death is completely uncertain. When you think about, especially if you start bringing in cases of people that you know about, you know, situations that you know about, so it makes it really, really personal. Report an error in the passage at 12:18 Highlight the passage at 12:18

12:42 Because we're in such denial about this section, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I'm going to die, I know I'm going to die. But it's like comfortably we just keep it out there somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when you get the fact that... There is absolutely nobody in this room that can say when they're going to die. We have no idea. I mean, that building could fall down in 15 minutes. Report an error in the passage at 12:42 Highlight the passage at 12:42

13:06 We just have no idea. And we don't act that way. We just don't get it. So for me, this was really, really, really powerful, especially like I was saying, thinking about situations where... You know people that have died really suddenly. There's this guy who was more of a friend of a friend. I didn't really know him that well. Report an error in the passage at 13:06 Highlight the passage at 13:06

13:35 I had met him a few times, but he lived and worked at Vajrapani, one of our sister centers in the Santa Cruz Mountains retreat center. And he had been there since the beginning, actually. And he and his wife had actually left Vajrapani and then decided to build a home in Hawaii. Actually, so they bought some land in Hawaii and started building a house. I was like 40. I wasn't very old, actually. Now I think that's incredibly young. Report an error in the passage at 13:35 Highlight the passage at 13:35

14:04 Although at the time, I didn't think so. But he just went out to work on the roof one day and fell off the roof, which wouldn't have killed him except for the fact that he landed on a nail that pierced his jugular. He was dead within seconds. The interesting thing was that his wife, who moved back to the Vajrapani community, although she now lives in the area of Vajrapani, doesn't live on the land anymore, she saw what was happening. Report an error in the passage at 14:04 Highlight the passage at 14:04

14:39 I can only assume through constant awareness of death and all the death meditations, ran over there and started saying his main practice with him, which he started mouthing with her as he died. So at that moment, She was able to make use of that situation and help him, which takes enormous mindfulness and awareness, and I think clearly shows strong, strong practice for both of them, actually. Report an error in the passage at 14:39 Highlight the passage at 14:39

15:10 But when I heard that story, and I was a very new Buddhist, actually, when I heard that story, for me it was just so inspiring. Report an error in the passage at 15:10 Highlight the passage at 15:10

15:21 And so frightening, but also so inspiring that you could have the presence of mind at a time like that to actually just kick into gear. I think it's just sort of like practice. It's like when you start learning how to drive, you're sort of like, how am I going to pull all this together? How could I possibly look over my shoulder at the same time as I'm pulling out onto the freeway, at the same time as I'm able to change lanes, at the same time as I'm able to start braking and slow down and all that stuff? Report an error in the passage at 15:21 Highlight the passage at 15:21

15:51 But with practice, it becomes second nature. And so it's totally the same idea. It's totally the same idea with Buddhist practice. It's just like you just do it enough that you kick into gear at the time when you most need it. Report an error in the passage at 15:51 Highlight the passage at 15:51

16:06 Or like anything else, anybody who does any kind of medical work and things like that. Like you have to know what to do when the situation arises. But that just comes from practice, right? So this is the same. This is the same. Report an error in the passage at 16:06 Highlight the passage at 16:06

16:20 So for me, this is the one that really, really shakes you up. This is the one that shakes your world up a little bit. So the points are, so there's three supporting points again, just like the last time. The lifespan, you don't need, you can, I mean, you're going to get it tonight if you, I mean, you could if you want. I mean, if it helps you stay focused, that's fine. Report an error in the passage at 16:20 Highlight the passage at 16:20

16:47 I know. No, I'm the same. I'm totally the same. It actually helps me stay focused. I know. But if you'd like, you can just listen. The lifespan in our time in Rome is uncertain. So this clearly is coming from this idea that there are other times and realms, which I'm not going to go into too much. But in the traditional Buddhist cosmology, there are, it is taught that there are other. Report an error in the passage at 16:47 Highlight the passage at 16:47

17:19 Places where even as humans we can be born. So it doesn't even it's not even talking about being born as an animal or something like that. And that not that some of them are actually much better than most of them are actually much better than ours. Report an error in the passage at 17:19 Highlight the passage at 17:19

17:33 But one of the things that's interesting about ours, which is supposed to be the best place to be able to practice Dharma because of all these. You get a nice collection of suffering and pleasure, which allows you to practice, is that life can end at any moment with ours, whereas the other ones have more of these very long lifespans, a lot more pleasure than us. Report an error in the passage at 17:33 Highlight the passage at 17:33

18:00 But because of that, people can get really complacent. That's what they say. Report an error in the passage at 18:00 Highlight the passage at 18:00

18:08 Even in our realm, we can see, you know, I have known people, even Buddhists, who because, you know, people tend in their family to live to be in their 80s or 90s, they assume they will. I'm so surprised by that. I'm just like, wow, really? Even after those teachings, we just got that idea that, you know, people in my family live to be 90, you know, people in my family live to be blah, blah, you know, whatever that is. Report an error in the passage at 18:08 Highlight the passage at 18:08

18:36 which we, you know, People in my family don't live to be old, so I guess I didn't have that one. But I have heard this, and I've actually heard this from long-time practitioners. I'm always very surprised by that because there's no guarantee. There's no guarantee, you know. I mean, really, from the moment we are conceived, death can happen at any moment, you know. Report an error in the passage at 18:36 Highlight the passage at 18:36

19:02 Some babies never even get born. Most babies actually never, they say something like that. I forgot what the percentage is, but it's a higher percentage of babies that are conceived that never get born than actually get born, you know. Report an error in the passage at 19:02 Highlight the passage at 19:02

19:18 So it's possible to die in the womb. It's possible to die in childhood. And I think most of us have, even if we didn't know somebody directly, we definitely know of people. It's possible to die in adolescence. You know, I think many of us had friends in school. Some accident would happen and a couple people in my neighborhood I remember who died. One was a good friend of mine who died in a car accident and he was a senior in high school, you know. Report an error in the passage at 19:18 Highlight the passage at 19:18

19:50 That kind of stuff happens all the time. One guy was on a tractor at like 14 or 15. It's possible to die in our 20s, you know. It's possible to die in our 30s and health has no bearing on it, you know. It's totally possible to die at any age. Once you get to a certain age, then it's no longer even such a shock that it's possible to die. That seems almost more horrifying. But I started studying this stuff in my 20s and 30s and just thinking about friends like the one friend I mentioned in the car accident who was so healthy. Report an error in the passage at 19:50 Highlight the passage at 19:50

20:31 She had no reason to think that she would die. She was quite strong. Powerful. You can think about people like, you know, Princess Diana. She was like, she was probably totally fit because she probably spent a lot of money on trainers and things, you know, or John F. Kennedy Jr., you know. You think about celebrities or Natasha Richardson, speaking of. She wasn't all that young when she was 45 and probably quite fit, you know, in a lot of ways. Report an error in the passage at 20:31 Highlight the passage at 20:31

21:01 So just thinking about that because it's our mind who just keeps... Telling us that it won't happen to me, you know, that I'm somehow different. We may not be consciously saying this, but in our mind we are keeping ourselves from realizing it, you know. Report an error in the passage at 21:01 Highlight the passage at 21:01

21:23 And that logic is faulty, and that's what the Buddha's pointing out, you know. It's like, this isn't actually very strong, it's not a strong case that you're making here, you know. Report an error in the passage at 21:23 Highlight the passage at 21:23

21:35 And they say one way that you can think about it is everybody that was, everybody in the world that was born in the same day as I am. Who's left? How many of us are left? And of course, the older we get, that number lessens. Report an error in the passage at 21:35 Highlight the passage at 21:35

21:52 And they say age is no guarantee. Children often die before their parents. Again, thinking of examples. Or even when you're reading in the paper, just thinking, oh yeah, this is a case of that. Report an error in the passage at 21:52 Highlight the passage at 21:52

22:13 Did anybody ever read the book called Year of Magical Thinking? You thinking as much. Report an error in the passage at 22:13 Highlight the passage at 22:13

22:18 By Joan Didion. It's actually a really good book about grief. I think it's more about grief, but one, she and her husband went to visit their daughter in ICU, actually. So they're the healthy ones, right, visiting the one who could possibly die. And then they come home and they're eating dinner and the husband dies in the middle of conversation. Report an error in the passage at 22:18 Highlight the passage at 22:18

22:43 It just drops dead of a heart attack. Report an error in the passage at 22:43 Highlight the passage at 22:43

22:48 And so then the book becomes about that. Like it starts out, we all kind of know because it got a lot of press at the time that it came out a couple years ago. But it, you know, it starts out and you're almost thinking it's going to be more about the daughter, you know, being in ICU, who then died as well. Report an error in the passage at 22:48 Highlight the passage at 22:48

23:06 So she, you know, it's all about her grief really and the surprise of it and the not being able to deal with it. And future plans are no guarantee, you know. There's some thought in a way, I think, that if you keep, you know, there's, what's the mystery house? You know, that person just kept, yeah, just kept adding on new wings, right, so that they wouldn't die. Report an error in the passage at 23:06 Highlight the passage at 23:06

23:34 There's some thought that if we stay busy, you know, and I think older people are really following to that too. I mean, I think to some degree, I think there are some tests that bear it out, that sense of purpose and things like that add. Add years to people's lives. But the reality is that everybody dies in the middle of life. You know, some people might be sick for a while. But for those who die suddenly, they're in the middle of life somehow, you know. Report an error in the passage at 23:34 Highlight the passage at 23:34

24:01 And mostly they have no idea that they're going to die, even if all signs point to it, you know. I had a good friend who had AIDS. All the way up to the moment of his death, he was just joking with the nurses and stuff like that. And his partner was just like, you know, honey, this might be the time that we kind of just talk about some stuff here, you know. Report an error in the passage at 24:01 Highlight the passage at 24:01

24:30 But I think at some point, at some way, it kind of kept it all at bay all the way up until literally the very last second, you know. And then again, it might be just who he was and how he was. Report an error in the passage at 24:30 Highlight the passage at 24:30

24:42 But future plans are no guarantee. So it's like thinking about how most people die without completing everything that they want to do. Most people still have stuff on their desk. Inbox is still full. Mine definitely won't be. Report an error in the passage at 24:42 Highlight the passage at 24:42

25:01 And then really you can think about it when you think about big disasters like 9-1-1. Especially with 9-1-1, so many of the people that died in the... You know Report an error in the passage at 25:01 Highlight the passage at 25:01

25:12 Trade towers were like in their 30s or 40s, you know, so they were sort of in the prime of life, you know, so some of them were having babies and getting married and writing novels and things, you know, and those things, you know, went on without them or didn't happen, one or the other. Report an error in the passage at 25:12 Highlight the passage at 25:12

25:34 And none of them that day had any idea, you know, none of them had any idea that that would be their final day. And they had little plans, too, you know, what they were going to do that night. I think that's useful, too, to just think about, you know, all those little plans that didn't happen, too. Report an error in the passage at 25:34 Highlight the passage at 25:34

25:55 We just don't know, you know, we just don't know when our time comes. So the second point is that the things that kill us are many and the things that keep us alive are few. Report an error in the passage at 25:55 Highlight the passage at 25:55

26:08 So here you're just thinking about all the different possibilities of ways. That people can die. It's sort of like all the different natural catastrophes like earthquakes and floods and avalanches and fires and wars and crashes and things like that. But then all those kind of weird things like Ashley falling on a nail or a poisonous insect or something. There's these kind of odd things too. Report an error in the passage at 26:08 Highlight the passage at 26:08

26:48 Then you have all the internal conditions, like different kinds of diseases or syndromes or poison or maybe just overdose or mixing drugs or something like that. Or like my dad actually had an aneurysm and seemed totally healthy from the outside. Like he wasn't overweight, he was pretty fit, seemed to be pretty fit. Report an error in the passage at 26:48 Highlight the passage at 26:48

27:17 So you just like have no, outwardly you just had no idea this was even happening. My mom's mom was 65 when she died and she and her best friend were getting ready to go on a road trip. A road trip? I think it was a road trip. And she just wasn't feeling so well after breakfast so she laid down for a few minutes while her friend went out to get a paper and the friend came back and she died. Report an error in the passage at 27:17 Highlight the passage at 27:17

27:47 And she had actually gone the day before to a doctor and gotten, you know, oh, you're fine, everything's fine. It's just like that. Report an error in the passage at 27:47 Highlight the passage at 27:47

27:58 And they say, too, those things, even the things that normally sustain us can become a condition for a death. You know, water can choke us or, you know, the house can collapse on us or medicine can interact in weird ways for us. Report an error in the passage at 27:58 Highlight the passage at 27:58

28:17 We can have an allergy that we don't know about or some reaction to pollution or something like that. But then, you know, sometimes people get so scared of all that they think that somehow, you know, they'll stay at home because they'll think that's safer than traveling or something like that. But, you know, people die at home all the time. People fall, you know, and do funny things. Actually, Lama Zopa Rinpoche has this sort of interesting hobby, if you could call it that, of collecting all these kind of weird ways. Report an error in the passage at 28:17 Highlight the passage at 28:17

28:45 That people can die. So whenever you find a weird, like if you're reading an article, it's like, oh, I should send this one to Rinpoche, actually. Report an error in the passage at 28:45 Highlight the passage at 28:45

28:57 Sorry? I don't know. I don't know. There is one story I have to share that I don't even remember where I first heard about it, but I know that Rinpoche did hear about this one. This was this guy. God, this is so weird. This guy went... It was scuba diving, actually. It was my best snorkeling. No, I think it was scuba diving, actually. So we went scuba diving. Report an error in the passage at 28:57 Highlight the passage at 28:57

29:28 It was off the coast of Oregon. And there were forest fires inland. You can kind of see where this is going. So they didn't have enough water. So they went to the ocean and sucked up the water. And poured it on the fire and they found this guy hundreds of miles from where he had left, you know, in the forest fire. Report an error in the passage at 29:28 Highlight the passage at 29:28

29:58 Isn't that bizarre? It's so bizarre. And they just had to piece together what happened. And I thought, well, I hope he had a heart attack going up and that none of that he was aware of, you know. I mean, how bizarre. It's just so bizarre. So we just have no idea. I mean, I would think, like when I first heard the beginning of that story, I thought, oh, he's going to die scuba diving. That's why I'll never do it. Like somehow I'll protect myself. Report an error in the passage at 29:58 Highlight the passage at 29:58

30:25 But, you know, it got even weirder. Yeah, there's very weird stories like that. People just don't know. We just don't know. And so then the final point is that the body is extremely fragile and is itself impermanent. Report an error in the passage at 30:25 Highlight the passage at 30:25

30:41 So we think about... If really big things like mountains can be destroyed, you know, if even big things like houses can be destroyed, if cities can be destroyed, then of course our fragile little bodies can be destroyed, you know. Report an error in the passage at 30:41 Highlight the passage at 30:41

30:57 And then just thinking about like how, like with the situation with Ashley, and then I started with, you know, just an instant, just gone like that, you know, and just probably had breakfast that morning and just had no idea. You know, it's actually almost surprising that we don't die more often, actually. The more that you know your body, you know, I'm always sort of shocked. Report an error in the passage at 30:57 Highlight the passage at 30:57

31:23 Like when I'm focusing on my knee and I'm like, you know, how did that happen? And I'm thinking, actually, it's kind of amazing when you start understanding how the knee works. Like we don't mess it up all the time. Actually, I'm surprised it made it this far. I should celebrate. Are the wrists, when you're looking at your wrists or your hands and all the little tiny bones and stuff and how they all interact. Report an error in the passage at 31:23 Highlight the passage at 31:23

31:43 It's like, wow, our bodies are kind of amazing that they work so well, but they're also so delicate. You know, really, we're so delicate. Report an error in the passage at 31:43 Highlight the passage at 31:43

31:54 So one interesting way to think about it is just thinking about how the last time that something shifted really suddenly for you, like with this knee, you know, but anything like that, you know, where you were going along and everything just seemed fine and then, like, you hurt yourself. Or you slipped or you, you know, something like that and how shocked we are. But that's literally how death can happen. You know, so like those little like, you're like, everything's great. Report an error in the passage at 31:54 Highlight the passage at 31:54

32:26 Then you bam into something and you're like, oh, ow. You know, you look down and there's this enormous bruising, like, like shocked. But it's like that. That's what death is like. I mean, it really can surprise us that quickly. So we use those. Use those to remind you. You know, like sometimes when I'm on a plane and we hit like really, really heavy turbulence, it's like, okay, what if this was the time? Report an error in the passage at 32:26 Highlight the passage at 32:26

32:49 What if this is the time? What would I do right now, you know? I usually kick into gear, do all my prayers for everything, you know? And I actually often will just start every flight and end each flight because it's usually on takeoffs and landings, right? Like just preparing my mind, you know, because it's like one way of letting go. Report an error in the passage at 32:49 Highlight the passage at 32:49

33:09 And the possibility is there. I mean, it's definitely there. I don't do it so much in driving, though. And I think it's actually more likely to happen in driving. But I don't drive as much, so that's probably it. I probably actually fly more than I drive these days. I don't drive very much anymore. But I could do it walking, too, because pedestrians get hit all the time, you know. Michelle's mom just got hit by a car not that long ago. Report an error in the passage at 33:09 Highlight the passage at 33:09

33:37 So But just thinking about it, you know. Report an error in the passage at 33:37 Highlight the passage at 33:37

33:43 And if we think about the fact that logically our body just can't keep going on and on, you know. Eventually it has to die. Something has to happen. We just don't know what it is. But something will happen, you know, whether it be internal or external. And then there's an argument. The Buddha actually taught that all compounded phenomena are impermanent. Report an error in the passage at 33:43 Highlight the passage at 33:43

34:10 So this term compounded phenomena is basically anything that comes about due to causes and conditions, which is everything, which is everything. And causes and conditions are just basically whatever, in other words, anything that doesn't just spring into being. Nothing springs into being, you know, without causes and conditions. Report an error in the passage at 34:10 Highlight the passage at 34:10

34:33 Causes and conditions would be like, for example, the conditions of this cup. Or that, you know, somebody designed it. Somebody, you know, made the clay the way it was. Somebody actually put it in the mold. I don't think they threw this one. They probably put it in a mold. Somebody probably pulled it out of mold because it's probably a factory somewhere, probably China. You know, and then somebody probably... Report an error in the passage at 34:33 Highlight the passage at 34:33

35:01 Did something to take off the excess parts and then somebody might have glazed it and then somebody might have packed them in boxes and then somebody might have, you know, so there's all these people that were involved. There's probably all the beings that died in the clay or in the glaze or, you know, like all of them were involved. There's all of the beings who went into designing those factories where they were made. Report an error in the passage at 35:01 Highlight the passage at 35:01

35:24 There's all the beings that were, you know, who made the different dyes that went into the... You know, the clay itself. So there's like all these millions, literally, of beings that went into the making of this cup. And those are all the conditions of this cup, you know. And so everything, it's this whole theory that we're all basically interrelated, you know. It's this whole idea that everything that comes into being comes into being. Report an error in the passage at 35:24 Highlight the passage at 35:24

35:55 Due to all of these different causes and conditions. And in Buddhism, one of the causes is, the main cause is actually karma. But there's a myriad of conditions that go into everything. And so for everything that comes about due to causes and conditions, those causes, it's momentary. It's just a momentary existence of that thing and then it comes back apart. Report an error in the passage at 35:55 Highlight the passage at 35:55

36:19 It's like this whole theory of like the Big Bang Theory. His Holiness says, fine, Big Bang Theory, no problem, but why just one? You know, it's just like, it's constantly coming together, existing and then falling apart, coming together, existing, falling apart, you know. Report an error in the passage at 36:19 Highlight the passage at 36:19

36:37 And each of us are created by causes and conditions, you know. The egg and sperm and all the, you know, as we went through last time, all the carrots and chicken and cheese my mother ate and then all the... You know, beef and potatoes and peas that her mother ate before her and all that. And it just goes back throughout time. Report an error in the passage at 36:37 Highlight the passage at 36:37

37:00 And then all the people that grew all those things and all the people that made their clothes and all that. You know, it's just like millions and millions and millions and millions of beings and people who went into making me, you know. And because of that, I am created by causes and conditions. And so then at some point I need to not exist anymore, you know. I come together. Report an error in the passage at 37:00 Highlight the passage at 37:00

37:21 For a limited amount of time and then that energy disperses and goes into a different form, you know. My body becomes part of the earth and my mind moves on into another body. So that's true for everything, at least everything, everything that, the million things, I think the only thing that's not true for is space. Report an error in the passage at 37:21 Highlight the passage at 37:21

37:44 That actually, in our tradition, that's not one of the main arguments, but I think it is a powerful argument. I think that's one of the arguments in the Kagyu lamrim. Everything that comes together because of causes and conditions must, it doesn't have the power not to come apart. It doesn't have the power from its own side not to degenerate and end. Report an error in the passage at 37:44 Highlight the passage at 37:44

38:09 So we are all impermanent. So then when we go through all these different steps, then we come to this resolution and we think. So the first time we had the resolution, understanding, getting it that death is certain, I make this resolution to practice. This one just says, We make this resolution to practice now, to not procrastinate any longer, to not think that somehow later on when I have a more stable mind that somehow I magically will get, even though I never practice, or somehow when I have the better karma to have a quieter roommate who's not noisy in the morning and doesn't stare at me when I try to meditate. Report an error in the passage at 38:09 Highlight the passage at 38:09

38:59 You know, like whatever conditions we think will somehow manifest down the line, it's all just, it's just a way of procrastinating and just to just go with whatever you've got right now and just go for it. You know, that's what you end up resolving with this one is just like not to keep wasting time, you know, just to like grab this moment. Report an error in the passage at 38:59 Highlight the passage at 38:59

39:22 However imperfect it may be, it's still an opportunity. So. I think we're going to take a break, and then we're going to come back and we're going to do this meditation. You snuck out early. Report an error in the passage at 39:22 Highlight the passage at 39:22

39:41 No, it's okay. Yes, think about questions on the break. Report an error in the passage at 39:41 Highlight the passage at 39:41

39:56 Could you give me some more? Report an error in the passage at 39:56 Highlight the passage at 39:56

40:08 Oh, yeah, Chase Card Services. It's actually United Mileage Plus, but I guess it's owned by Chase. Report an error in the passage at 40:08 Highlight the passage at 40:08

40:21 Yes. Just one or two? Just, well. You could go ahead because her should be here any day now. Yeah, yeah. Saves a check. Yeah, I know. Who does? I know. Nobody does anymore. It's like the world of ATMs. But it just makes it easier because then I don't have to go to the bank. I can just send it straight to the credit card. Okay, so it's two times 1134, so 2268. Report an error in the passage at 40:21 Highlight the passage at 40:21

40:50 I know. I used to be a bookkeeper. Report an error in the passage at 40:50 Highlight the passage at 40:50

41:00 Oh, my God. I've got to, like, get into it, you know, like, hardcore, Report an error in the passage at 41:00 Highlight the passage at 41:00

41:09 reading all this, like, Russian literature. But I never had time to do it before. Report an error in the passage at 41:09 Highlight the passage at 41:09

41:27 Why don't you bring it next time? Yeah. For me, it's easier because I'll just spend it. No, no, then it's just this. I could just stick it out in the same envelope and they'll just be like, oh my God, this woman just sent eight checks. I don't know what this is all about, but that's okay. Report an error in the passage at 41:27 Highlight the passage at 41:27

41:44 No, Chase. Yeah, Chase is fine. Yeah, I will. And my name. Report an error in the passage at 41:44 Highlight the passage at 41:44

41:55 Oh, yeah, that's fine. Thank you very much. I'm going to only give you one now, but you'll get the other one. Report an error in the passage at 41:55 Highlight the passage at 41:55

42:06 1134. Report an error in the passage at 42:06 Highlight the passage at 42:06

42:09 2268. Is he buying yours? Yes. Oh, now? So what, you then have to pay him back? Yes. Okay. Report an error in the passage at 42:09 Highlight the passage at 42:09

42:22 Then I can pay my bills. Thank you very much. Oh, by the way, Michelle said that's fine about the Shantideva book, so I need to call Snow Lion, I guess, and figure out what kind of a discount they give us, but I just keep forgetting to do that. Report an error in the passage at 42:22 Highlight the passage at 42:22

42:51 It's a great book. Report an error in the passage at 42:51 Highlight the passage at 42:51

43:00 No, she's getting the wrong thing out of the class. Report an error in the passage at 43:00 Highlight the passage at 43:00

43:05 Limited amount of time left. I'm going to divorce my husband. Report an error in the passage at 43:05 Highlight the passage at 43:05

43:13 would you do if you only more weeks coming? I know. Report an error in the passage at 43:13 Highlight the passage at 43:13

43:21 I found it very interesting. I did one of the death and dying workshops that they do at Zed Hospice Project. And it was interesting in our group. One of the exercises was, you know, just to think about if you only had X amount of time left, I can't remember how long, and what would you do. And it was just interesting what people would choose to do. And really, I mean, granted I am a nun, but, you know, I was kind of shocked. Report an error in the passage at 43:21 Highlight the passage at 43:21

43:49 You know, I mean, people were like doing things like, I mean, you always hear like, you know, did anybody here see The Bucket List? That's a great, that's a great movie for this kind of stuff. Thank you. Report an error in the passage at 43:49 Highlight the passage at 43:49

44:03 You know, there's, there's always those kind of things of like jumping out of airplanes and stuff like that, you know, and, you know, learning, learning how to ballroom dance and, you know, but I'm just thinking, really? Report an error in the passage at 44:03 Highlight the passage at 44:03

44:16 Shouldn't do that because somebody could be listening, but. I was kind of surprised. I found that just surprising. I mean, like, honestly, to think. Because we're in a hospice doing that, you know, doing that workshop, so it was pretty, you know, real. And it's just interesting what people think they would do. Maybe they wouldn't actually do it, though. Maybe it's comfortably still far away for them or something. Report an error in the passage at 44:16 Highlight the passage at 44:16

44:46 I guess I would want to do something a little bit more to stabilize my mind. I mean, there is something, you know, I mean, some... Some worldly things where I'd want to say goodbye to certain people and stuff like that, but I think I would. Report an error in the passage at 44:46 Highlight the passage at 44:46

45:07 I do. Report an error in the passage at 45:07 Highlight the passage at 45:07

45:13 I still am interested by that one. Report an error in the passage at 45:13 Highlight the passage at 45:13

· · · silence, 1 minute

45:57 I should see, I should actually find that questionnaire that we did and maybe bring it to the practice day or something. Give everybody some time to think about those kind of questions. What would you do if, what's Report an error in the passage at 45:57 Highlight the passage at 45:57

46:23 it called? Unless you give her a little breath. Report an error in the passage at 46:23 Highlight the passage at 46:23

· · · silence, 1 minute

46:41 Yeah, I've read stuff like that before. I actually was reading one by, there's a woman who's local. I can't remember, she's from Oakland, but I can't remember now the title of the book. She's a Buddhist, and she went through cancer and survived it. Report an error in the passage at 46:41 Highlight the passage at 46:41

47:06 You know, so I have read those kind of books before. It's interesting to make you think, like, what would I do in that same situation? Report an error in the passage at 47:06 Highlight the passage at 47:06

47:17 I don't think we know until we do it. It's still worthwhile probably thinking about, but yeah. You really don't know until, because partly too, a lot of times you just don't feel good. Report an error in the passage at 47:17 Highlight the passage at 47:17

47:32 So it's always like convenient to think about it when you're all healthy and everything, but you just don't feel good, so you might feel slightly different. I actually had this one, sort of a friend of a friend, who just kind of freaked out. Report an error in the passage at 47:32 Highlight the passage at 47:32

47:49 When he got a diagnosis and he knew that he was going to die, he just started racking up all these credit card bills and buying all these things, just trying to be happy. I mean, it's really, it's really sad, really. Because it was kind of like what we all do, but in this tiny amount of time, you know what I mean? Report an error in the passage at 47:49 Highlight the passage at 47:49

48:06 So it was, I think we all have tried to be happy in kind of that graspy way, but this was like really magnified, this really short amount of time. And the horrible thing was, of course, then. Everybody held these debts to pay afterwards, you know. But who knows, you know. Especially, I think, if you don't have any kind of a spiritual life or something, you know, something to give you some stability at a time like that. Report an error in the passage at 48:06 Highlight the passage at 48:06

48:33 You might just panic. You might just panic. It would be nice to think that we would all, you know, want to learn how to ballroom dance, but some of us would just panic. Report an error in the passage at 48:33 Highlight the passage at 48:33

48:49 Any kind of suffering. Not getting a parking space comes from bad karma too. It's just being born in Bosnia comes from bad karma. So it's like everything, not liking the pattern in the rug comes from bad karma. So it's all determined by karma actually. Karma is our version of a creator god. There is no external being determining your experience. Report an error in the passage at 48:49 Highlight the passage at 48:49

49:16 You determine your experience through your actions and those actions become your karma. So positive actions are only positive in that they net you a pleasurable result. Negative actions are only negative in that they yield a painful result. But that pain could be, it's all a matter of degree, you know, it could be so tiny or it could be enormous. Report an error in the passage at 49:16 Highlight the passage at 49:16

49:40 I mean, this gets into the whole karma's next class. Yeah, no, karma is so important to understand because it really, I think it's so empowering as a teaching. It's very, very powerful because the tiniest positive act can net a lifetime or lifetimes of pleasure. And the tiniest negative act can yield lifetimes of pain. Report an error in the passage at 49:40 Highlight the passage at 49:40

50:09 And it's not always obvious. Like sometimes it's obvious. Sometimes it kind of makes sense. And sometimes it's like not so obvious. You know, like I might think for the longest time I have migraines. And I've had migraines for almost 30 years. Yeah. Yeah, almost 30 years. And when I first got into Buddhism, I was trying to figure out sort of the cause of them. And I was thinking, God, I wonder if I like hit people. Report an error in the passage at 50:09 Highlight the passage at 50:09

50:37 in the head or something you know and then I was like and they just keep going on and on and I'm like well god I must have been like a Nazi and I hit people in the head like you know I'm just expanding it but then when you think about the fact that any act we're totally going off subject now but any any karma that you could create expands in the same way as like a seed expands So if that's the case, it could be the tiniest act of... Report an error in the passage at 50:37 Highlight the passage at 50:37

51:07 Cruelty or something, you know, that cause a lifetime of migraines, you know. It's kind of interesting, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 51:07 Highlight the passage at 51:07

51:21 Oh, you should be talking into the microphone. Talking stick. Report an error in the passage at 51:21 Highlight the passage at 51:21

51:28 It has to be really profound, too. You said on Tuesday something like when the life of your karma ran out, then you died. And so it's like... Yeah, it's like gas in the gas tank. And then I'm like, well, what if? You know, like, what about, like, acts of violence? Like, someone comes up and physically takes your life from your act of violence. Is that your karma or is that just someone? It is your karma. Report an error in the passage at 51:28 Highlight the passage at 51:28

52:01 It would definitely be your karma. There's no fate. Yeah, I mean, in Buddhism. In Buddhism, there's no fate. There's no destiny. Report an error in the passage at 52:01 Highlight the passage at 52:01

52:09 There are life obstacles. Like sometimes you might hear, and this actually I found interesting because I was always trying to figure out like why we would do poojas and things like that, you know, if somebody had something going on, you know. And then it was explained that if somebody has a life obstacle, it's possible to remove. Report an error in the passage at 52:09 Highlight the passage at 52:09

52:34 And the only way it would be possible to remove is if you have enough. Positive karma for them to sort of get. If you don't have enough, then it's not possible to remove. It's kind of hard to see whether it's somebody had a life span, a karmically determined life span of 22 years or a karmically determined life span of 50 years and a life obstacle ended it sooner, I think. Report an error in the passage at 52:34 Highlight the passage at 52:34

53:00 um but um But it's all karma. It still all comes from actions that we've done. It still all comes from, we are still the determining factor. It still comes down to us. Not necessarily us in this life. It's just the subtle mind that goes back and back and back and goes forward and forward and forward. But still, yeah, it's still all karmically determined. There's still not some, that person is a condition. Report an error in the passage at 53:00 Highlight the passage at 53:00

53:33 But you still created the karma. And karma is so hard to understand, I think, because Westerners have some vague ideas about karma that are not accurate according to Buddhism. You know, so it has nothing to do with fault. It has nothing to do with blame. It's, you know, they call it the law of karma just because the Buddha just observed this is how things work. Report an error in the passage at 53:33 Highlight the passage at 53:33

54:00 And knowing that we can work with it and we can actually transcend it. You know, we can actually get out of this kind of karmically induced mess that we find ourselves in. So we have to understand it. And so that's why he explained it. It has nothing to do with like looking at people and just, you know, in a detached voice saying, well, that's her karma, you know, and not helping her, not loving her and not, you know, and not trying to change the situation. Report an error in the passage at 54:00 Highlight the passage at 54:00

54:29 I mean, it's our collective karma to be on a planet that's so close to. You know, extinction because of greenhouse effect, you know. So it's like, it's our karma too, but does that mean we don't do anything? That's why you have to get it that karma is not fate, you know. Karma is completely changeable. It's totally possible to change, you know. Unless it's ripening right now, then it's hard. Report an error in the passage at 54:29 Highlight the passage at 54:29

54:56 That's why we do purification practices, which we'll actually do in here. I think it's the last class. I was like, there goes some bad karma that I, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Any time you experience it, and that's one of the ways to shift it. How you react to stuff that happens to you is how you shift it. Report an error in the passage at 54:56 Highlight the passage at 54:56

55:16 So instead of perpetuating the cycle by getting pissed off or, you know, having a negative emotional reaction, it's really hard. It's really hard, yeah. Didn't say that it wasn't. Report an error in the passage at 55:16 Highlight the passage at 55:16

55:33 But how you react to it is definitely how you shift it. If your reaction just continues it, then you just get caught up. And the example is always like the screaming boss. If you come into work and your boss starts screaming at you and you just habitually scream back, you just have perpetuated more screaming bosses in your life. Report an error in the passage at 55:33 Highlight the passage at 55:33

55:56 Like that. Or if you leave the screaming boss and go and scream at your employee, which is also definitely the cycle, you know. So yeah, so how we react to it. But yeah, if you can actually have the presence of mind of thinking, well, at least that karma's finished, you know. I often tell that story because I was so impressed by it. Report an error in the passage at 55:56 Highlight the passage at 55:56

56:19 We have a couple out in Marin who... The Marin Study Group is in their home. And Judith's response, their home was burned probably about eight years ago. I never got to see it. It was an amazing home. Apparently it had all these, you know, things that they'd gotten on their world travels and things like that. Report an error in the passage at 56:19 Highlight the passage at 56:19

56:42 Everything was lost. Everything was lost. Just completely burned to the ground. And she was at our house. She was actually at the nun's house. We had a nun's house at that point. And she had spent the night because Lama Zopa had been teaching until like 3 a.m. the night before. And so she stayed at our house. Report an error in the passage at 56:42 Highlight the passage at 56:42

57:01 And so my roommate was driving her back and they got the call like literally one block. Her husband had been trying to reach her frantically thinking she was in the house, you know, so that was the worst because the car was there. And within a block they got a hold of my roommate. And told them. And so then they drove that final block and saw where the house had been. It was just, you know, just the ruins, basically. Report an error in the passage at 57:01 Highlight the passage at 57:01

57:30 And her first reaction was, well, as Lama used to say, that karma's finished. And then she said, dear, I think I'm in shock. Report an error in the passage at 57:30 Highlight the passage at 57:30

57:42 But, I mean, that's kind of been their reaction. It's just like, how do we, this has been dealt to us. This is from our karma. Now how do we react to this? And it's been actually so inspiring to see. And, of course, they've been human about it, too, and there have been loss. You know, they actually broke their dog and their cat died in that fire. Tremendous loss and pain. Report an error in the passage at 57:42 Highlight the passage at 57:42

58:02 But not dwelling on it, not blaming, not, you know, not thinking it's somebody else's fault. Just, like, seeing it as negative karma, being glad that it's exhausted, you know, and trying to make some virtue out of it. So actually when they rebuilt their house with insurance money. Report an error in the passage at 58:02 Highlight the passage at 58:02

58:21 They planned it to have a gampa. Their main purpose for being is to invite people to stay there. They have teachings there. They want to do virtue in this life. But what about the whole grief process? Oh God, that gets into a whole different thing. Report an error in the passage at 58:21 Highlight the passage at 58:21

58:42 I think we will talk a little bit. Yeah, it's a tangent, but it's worthwhile talking about. We'll just see if we have time, you know, with everything else that we're going to cover. It's something that I want to spend more time thinking about, but it's not taught about so much in the traditional teachings. And I think grief is kind of seen in terms of so much attachment, you know. Report an error in the passage at 58:42 Highlight the passage at 58:42

59:09 And when I think about... Especially once you, if you have, for example, I mean I had a couple years of grief. My mom died a couple years ago and I had strong, strong grief for a couple years. And I was actually surprised by the intensity of the grief because I thought I had done death. I thought I had done death really well for a long, long, long time. Report an error in the passage at 59:09 Highlight the passage at 59:09

59:32 And most of the teachings are kind of like it's attachment and things like that. What I found to be so powerful for me dealing with grief. It's a practice that we will learn in here, which is the practice of Tonglen, which is basically getting it that your grief is not personal to you. It's not specific to you. It's that we all have grief. We all have loss. But really, when you think about the Buddhist teachings on death, especially in my mom's case, I was able to reach the very first, within seconds of her final breath, I called. Report an error in the passage at 59:32 Highlight the passage at 59:32

1:00:11 Lama Zopa Rinpoche's secretary, who didn't answer. Nobody answered that night. I was alone with her, which I think is interesting karma. But she called me back immediately, didn't talk to me, but left a message for me that said that Rinpoche had gotten the message and was doing prayers. So he, like within seconds of her final breath, definitely within minutes of her final breath, he was doing prayers for her and practices for her. So I actually know she's okay, but that didn't stop me from grieving. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:11 Highlight the passage at 1:00:11

1:00:41 The grieving was for me. The grieving was my loss, you know, because I knew she was okay. I actually knew she was okay. We don't always know she's okay, but in that case, I just really trusted him. I really, really trusted him. So I think often the grieving is just for us, and in that case, it's not. It's useful to a point. I mean, it's just kind of like you look at life. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:41 Highlight the passage at 1:00:41

1:01:01 You can learn about death and life and grieving somebody, but at some point, you know. You have to get it that it's your own attachment to that person. It doesn't have anything to do with them anymore, you know. Because there are amazing practices that we can do for people after they die, especially during that transitional time when they're moving to their next rebirth. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:01 Highlight the passage at 1:01:01

1:01:23 And I actually find that so refreshing, is the same word that you were using about Lama Esha's poem. That was one of the things that just totally brought me into. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:23 Highlight the passage at 1:01:23

1:01:34 Tibetan Buddhism, when my friend Laurel died, was just being able to do something for her. Because in Christian, it's just like, it's done. You do prayers for the family. You don't do prayers for the person that's died. And so it was actually very, very powerful to keep doing all these prayers and practices for her. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:34 Highlight the passage at 1:01:34

1:01:52 And they have such specific ones, too. You know, it's like, you know, especially if you have access to somebody like Geshe-la, Geshe-la, like, you know, he'll tell you exactly. What you should do for that person. And they aren't always the same. Sometimes it's like this whole bizarre thing. You're like, really? And then you're just like, what would that person do? But I actually find that if it was always the same, I wouldn't find it quite as hopeful. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:52 Highlight the passage at 1:01:52

1:02:15 I actually find it quite useful that it's different, that there's something. But for me, I found that really, really useful. And I really felt like I was really working hard for Laurel. I was like, yeah, I've got to do something for her. And I found that quite useful. And for my mom, too. Yeah, for anyone I've known who's died. Yeah, I don't know. Grief. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:15 Highlight the passage at 1:02:15

1:02:39 It's a book that remains to be written, I think. And I think it's kind of a dirty word in a lot of Buddhism, a lot of Buddhist circles. It's something I want to explore more. you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:39 Highlight the passage at 1:02:39

1:02:50 Because I think we have great teachings that help you with it. You know, for me, like I said, Tong Lan, just getting it that grief is such a painful samsaric condition, but that this is the suffering we want to remove. You know, this is it. Like, it's not just, you know, losing an arm or something. It's not like just that kind of suffering. It's this deep, anguished, emotional suffering, too, you know, that we want to remove. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:50 Highlight the passage at 1:02:50

1:03:16 So getting it that. We share this in common with so many other people and then like being willing to take that on, you know, and to give them happiness. It's so powerful. It's really, really powerful. Yeah, so. But we'll talk about that. We'll talk about that when we learn Tonglen. We will learn Tonglen in here. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:16 Highlight the passage at 1:03:16

1:03:37 I wanted to read you a quote, of course, but no list tonight, actually. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:37 Highlight the passage at 1:03:37

1:03:46 One of my teachers. um, um, Report an error in the passage at 1:03:46 Highlight the passage at 1:03:46

1:03:49 There's a little tiny square picture of him. No, actually, there isn't. No, we don't have him in here, actually. He's in the dining room. Kirti Sincha Rinpoche, who was the first Lama that I ever talked to about getting ordained, actually, he manifested having cancer a few years ago, probably three years ago now. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:49 Highlight the passage at 1:03:49

1:04:16 And I found his students, His students, I found his comments to be so inspiring that I wanted to just share them. We kept getting these updates. He was in Israel, actually, when he got the diagnosis. Is that right? Yeah, he was in Israel. He was on a teaching tour and he got the diagnosis. Actually, it was at the time that Israel was getting just bombed the heck out of him. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:16 Highlight the passage at 1:04:16

1:04:44 And he was like at that point there getting all these tests done on his liver. He had liver cancer. But he said, so all of his, and his translator was with him, of course, because it was a teaching tour. And she is this amazing translator, a Greek woman. So we would get these amazing quotes from him all the time. So I captured some of them because I found them to be very inspiring. He said, I am fully aware of the fact that the disease, especially at this stage, is incurable. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:44 Highlight the passage at 1:04:44

1:05:14 But I am not sad or disappointed in any way. When Professor Alavan Arya informed me of the presence of a tumor in my liver, I thought immediately that he was so very, very kind. He was extremely kind to me. We all practice Tonglen with a specific aim to prolong the life of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Of course, I have recited certain verses from Lama Tsopa many times. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:14 Highlight the passage at 1:05:14

1:05:39 And thus, compassionate gurus, we seek your blessings that all karmic debts, obstacles and sufferings of mother beings may without exception ripen upon us right now and that we may give our happiness and virtue to others and thereby invest all beings in bliss. As well as... In order to rescue all beings from the vast seas of existence, we seek your blessings to become adept in bodhicitta through a pure, selfless wish and by love and compassion conjoined with the visual technique of mounting, giving and taking upon the breath. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:39 Highlight the passage at 1:05:39

1:06:14 But it was more or less theory for me, he says. When I was told that I have cancer, I did not feel sad or upset. On the contrary, my mind was uplifted and it felt light and open. I thought, finally I have the chance to put this theory into practice now. My prayers have come true. How wonderful. I intend to use whatever time I have left in order to deepen my practice of Tonglen. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:14 Highlight the passage at 1:06:14

1:06:41 What could be the benefit of trying to conceal my situation? I think it is far better that people know I have come to manifest this tumor and now I can really practice. I don't want you to be sad. I want you to be happy and inspired since now I have such a wonderful opportunity to practice in a way that all bodhisattvas do. My doctor has been so kind to me. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:41 Highlight the passage at 1:06:41

1:07:02 Why would I ever want to hide the fact that I am now practicing in the footsteps of the bodhisattvas? This is the kind of mind we're trying to get. This is it. And it takes practice. It's like we have to practice the scales to become a pianist. We practice familiarizing our mind with this in order to have this kind of a reaction when somebody says, I'm afraid you have incurable liver cancer. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:02 Highlight the passage at 1:07:02

1:07:31 Apparently this doctor was just so, they were so amazed by meeting somebody who was as happy and friendly. The moment before as he was the moment after receiving a diagnosis of incurable liver cancer, he immediately was like, you know, are you all right? Because he could see their concern and their fear of having to break the news to him. It was just amazing. I'll have to show you a picture of him next time. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:31 Highlight the passage at 1:07:31

1:07:59 I'll bring down my picture. So we're going to do this final meditation now. So just get comfortable. I'm not going to do the preliminary practices again, but you can just imagine that. Shakyamuni Buddha or His Holiness is there. If you want to imagine Kirti Sencha Rinpoche, just imagine a little tiny Lama with a huge smile. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:59 Highlight the passage at 1:07:59

1:08:31 And then just take some breaths and just imagining them sort of dissolving any distractions or any sluggishness in this final 15 minutes of the class. So Report an error in the passage at 1:08:31 Highlight the passage at 1:08:31

1:08:52 the time of our death is uncertain. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:52 Highlight the passage at 1:08:52

1:09:01 The first of the points is that the lifespan in our time and realm is uncertain. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:01 Highlight the passage at 1:09:01

1:09:10 Not everyone dies at 80 or 90. Life can end at any point. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:10 Highlight the passage at 1:09:10

1:09:21 It's very, very possible to die even before you're born. Little kids die all the time. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:21 Highlight the passage at 1:09:21

1:09:33 Teenagers die. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:33 Highlight the passage at 1:09:33

1:09:39 People in their 20s die. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:39 Highlight the passage at 1:09:39

1:09:45 Their 30s and Report an error in the passage at 1:09:45 Highlight the passage at 1:09:45

1:09:51 40s and 50s and so on. Anytime. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:51 Highlight the passage at 1:09:51

1:10:03 So think about people that you know. Or have heard of who died at the same age or younger than whatever age you're at right now. We've all known somebody younger than us. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:03 Highlight the passage at 1:10:03

1:10:35 Of everyone born at the same time as me, on the same day, the same year, many, many, many have already died. So why is it I'm so sure I won't die yet? Report an error in the passage at 1:10:35 Highlight the passage at 1:10:35

1:10:57 Age is no guarantee. Children often die before their parents. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:57 Highlight the passage at 1:10:57

1:11:09 Health is no guarantee. Healthy people die before sick people all the time. Sometimes we'll label somebody as dying, go visit a dying person, but actually the visitor could die before the person dies. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:09 Highlight the passage at 1:11:09

1:11:34 Loads of very, very healthy people die all the time. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:34 Highlight the passage at 1:11:34

1:11:42 Future plans are no guarantee. We all die before we complete everything we set out to do. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:42 Highlight the passage at 1:11:42

1:11:57 Think about people that die in car accidents or airplane accidents or like a 911. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:57 Highlight the passage at 1:11:57

1:12:13 All of them have big life plans like weddings and so on, new houses, but also little plans. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:13 Highlight the passage at 1:12:13

1:12:29 Everything just left undone. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:29 Highlight the passage at 1:12:29

1:12:37 We can't even be certain we won't die later on today. We just don't know. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:37 Highlight the passage at 1:12:37

1:12:54 The things that kill us are many and the things that keep us alive are few. So for this, think about all the external ways that you could die, Report an error in the passage at 1:12:54 Highlight the passage at 1:12:54

1:13:08 like earthquakes, Report an error in the passage at 1:13:08 Highlight the passage at 1:13:08

1:13:14 floods, fire. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:14 Highlight the passage at 1:13:14

1:13:20 Mugging or Report an error in the passage at 1:13:20 Highlight the passage at 1:13:20

1:13:25 all the weird things like poisonous plants or insects or animals. We just can't list them all. There's so many. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:25 Highlight the passage at 1:13:25

1:13:42 Or all the internal ways, all the things inside of us that we may not even know about. Diseases like cancer, malfunctioning organs or syndromes. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:42 Highlight the passage at 1:13:42

1:14:02 And maybe you don't even have a clue that anything's wrong and then suddenly my Report an error in the passage at 1:14:02 Highlight the passage at 1:14:02

1:14:11 old boss's dad. Went into the restroom to wash his hands for lunch and that was it. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:11 Highlight the passage at 1:14:11

1:14:25 Another woman I was reading about was having a good laugh with all her employees at her computer and then just turned around and died without any warning and no apparent sickness. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:25 Highlight the passage at 1:14:25

1:14:42 Death happens when we least expect it and doctors can't even see that anything's wrong. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:42 Highlight the passage at 1:14:42

1:14:53 My boss's dad's doctor was so shocked that he died like that. She had just seen him the day before. She insisted on seeing the autopsy report. Just couldn't believe it herself. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:53 Highlight the passage at 1:14:53

1:15:12 And even those things that normally sustain us can become a cause for death. You Report an error in the passage at 1:15:12 Highlight the passage at 1:15:12

1:15:21 know, the food that we eat could choke us or poison us. The medicine we take to make us well could make us very, very sick. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:21 Highlight the passage at 1:15:21

1:15:34 Even the house we're hiding in to be safe could fall. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:34 Highlight the passage at 1:15:34

1:15:46 Sometimes people don't travel because they think it's safer at home, but then they die at home. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:46 Highlight the passage at 1:15:46

1:16:01 The body is extremely fragile and is itself impermanent. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:01 Highlight the passage at 1:16:01

1:16:10 So here we just think about all the huge, huge, huge things that are impermanent in this world, like redwood trees or mountains or even cities get destroyed, houses. Even planets. Of course our bodies are so fragile. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:10 Highlight the passage at 1:16:10

1:16:39 They're so vulnerable. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:39 Highlight the passage at 1:16:39

1:16:45 And yet every time we get injured it's so surprising to us. Shocking. Like it shouldn't happen. It's actually more of a surprise that it doesn't happen more often. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:45 Highlight the passage at 1:16:45

1:17:07 Right now you might feel strong and healthy. But something as small as a nail or a virus can suddenly become the cause of your death. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:07 Highlight the passage at 1:17:07

1:17:26 Think about the times in your life that some tiny thing, some momentary incident, like an injury or an illness, snuck up on you so quickly and was so serious that it totally shocked you. Death happens like that. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:26 Highlight the passage at 1:17:26

1:17:56 Yet somehow we think it's different because it's me. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:56 Highlight the passage at 1:17:56

1:18:02 That's going to happen to somebody else, but it won't happen to me. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:02 Highlight the passage at 1:18:02

1:18:15 Our body itself is a... Compounded phenomena created by causes and conditions and so it's necessarily impermanent just Report an error in the passage at 1:18:15 Highlight the passage at 1:18:15

1:18:30 like everything else in this world. It can't from its own side last forever. It just doesn't have the power to. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:30 Highlight the passage at 1:18:30

1:18:44 So knowing that we could die at any time and we make this resolution to practice now, to use this opportunity to not wait, to not think that sometime my conditions will be better for practice. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:44 Highlight the passage at 1:18:44

1:19:02 To not procrastinate or to do whatever we can right now. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:02 Highlight the passage at 1:19:02

1:19:10 Doing whatever we can with whatever time we have left. To develop the qualities we want in our mind and to eliminate those negative aspects that we don't want. We Report an error in the passage at 1:19:10 Highlight the passage at 1:19:10

1:19:31 can dedicate this class and this meditation to Report an error in the passage at 1:19:31 Highlight the passage at 1:19:31

1:19:41 try each of us to wake up and use whatever time we have left. Really use it. Really live. So that we can benefit ourselves and others in the time that we have left. In Report an error in the passage at 1:19:41 Highlight the passage at 1:19:41

1:20:15 your own time, as you're ready, you can end your meditation and open your eyes. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:15 Highlight the passage at 1:20:15

1:20:34 Does anybody have any questions before we end about Report an error in the passage at 1:20:34 Highlight the passage at 1:20:34

1:20:40 that one? So like with the first one, the more real you can make it using your own examples from your own life or people even that you just kind of knew in your building or that you read about. That makes it... That makes it go into your heart much more strongly than if it's just this theoretical thing, you know. So we really are bringing up examples of people that you knew and talked to. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:40 Highlight the passage at 1:20:40

1:21:10 It's much more powerful because they didn't know either for the most part. So that's the way you make it real. So the homework assignment will be this meditation and it's laid out for you, but like with all lamrim, you flesh it out with your own life experiences, you know. You bring it, make it more juicy. You've got to make it more juicy or else it'll just stay safely in some intellectual part. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:10 Highlight the passage at 1:21:10

1:21:42 It won't be in your heart, you know. And what you're shooting for is literally to get some, even for an instant before you like start thinking about the cake on the counter in the kitchen or something, some instant where you get it. That kind of those aha, what I call the aha moments, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:42 Highlight the passage at 1:21:42

1:22:02 That's what you're trying to get is that kind of like, oh, wow, you know, some sense of your own impermanence, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:02 Highlight the passage at 1:22:02

1:22:13 And then we just try to have those more and more and extend them. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:13 Highlight the passage at 1:22:13

1:22:22 Okay. Who didn't get a book? Did you want to get, you're getting a book? And Christine, did you want a book? No, you didn't want a book, I think, but you wanted a mirror, but you didn't bring your money. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:22 Highlight the passage at 1:22:22

1:22:40 Did you take one? Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:40 Highlight the passage at 1:22:40

1:22:47 Something's amiss. All right. Okay. I'll check the list. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:47 Highlight the passage at 1:22:47

1:23:03 Oh, you know what? Kent said he's going to, even though he's not coming to the class. I have an extra book on my hands. Okay. That's cool. So that means actually, why don't you go ahead, if you want to go ahead and take one, because she already paid for it. Yeah, so you can go ahead and take it. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:03 Highlight the passage at 1:23:03

1:23:24 Yeah. And did you want to go ahead and get yours tonight? Okay. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:24 Highlight the passage at 1:23:24

1:23:32 This one got a little beat up in the... going Report an error in the passage at 1:23:32 Highlight the passage at 1:23:32

1:23:37 No, that's my notes. You can pass out my notes. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:37 Highlight the passage at 1:23:37

1:23:44 So I think this one then belongs to Rosalie, who's not here tonight. Yeah, that's cool. And then Kent will be the one that comes, and I'll just email him. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:44 Highlight the passage at 1:23:44

1:23:58 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if you want to take it, that's fine. know. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:58 Highlight the passage at 1:23:58

1:24:02 Yeah, yeah, no, it's totally fine. I trust you. You've got, like, all these people witnessing. I'll say, Mira is going to give me $11.34, and if she doesn't, here's her email. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:02 Highlight the passage at 1:24:02

1:24:16 Right? Report an error in the passage at 1:24:16 Highlight the passage at 1:24:16

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:24:58 have a book of checks that's like 12 years old just makes it easier because then I can just deposit it all I'll bring that all that's what Report an error in the passage at 1:24:58 Highlight the passage at 1:24:58

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:25:58 I just wanted to let you know. Can I help you with that? Yeah. How's your knee doing? Actually, I think it's better. I'm kind of hesitant to say so. I think it's like only slightly better, but it's the person. I think it takes a while. My sister was in a wheelchair for weeks with hers. I'm going to this. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:58 Highlight the passage at 1:25:58

1:26:22 It's part of me that... Report an error in the passage at 1:26:22 Highlight the passage at 1:26:22

1:26:27 Turn that off. Is she doing acupuncture too? Is it she? No, but it's really... Report an error in the passage at 1:26:27 Highlight the passage at 1:26:27