Discovering Buddhism - The Wisdom of Emptiness (14 April 2011)

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3:05 Did Report an error in the passage at 3:05 Highlight the passage at 3:05

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3:36 I send you what you needed? Report an error in the passage at 3:36 Highlight the passage at 3:36

3:40 I think I'm behind on stuff. Report an error in the passage at 3:40 Highlight the passage at 3:40

3:54 You're bringing me water, so you must be Marcella. Maybe my labeling problem. Report an error in the passage at 3:54 Highlight the passage at 3:54

4:14 Eleanor? Report an error in the passage at 4:14 Highlight the passage at 4:14

4:18 Did Charles give you some copies of homework? Okay, no, it's okay. I just wanted to make sure that you had them. It's not working. Report an error in the passage at 4:18 Highlight the passage at 4:18

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4:42 So we're going to do a couple of longer meditations tonight. So it's going to take a chunk in the morning, a chunk in the beginning and a chunk at the end. So I just want to allow enough time for them because I think the experience of going through meditation, especially having somebody guide you, is so much easier than when you're trying to do it by yourself. Report an error in the passage at 4:42 Highlight the passage at 4:42

5:02 Although it's never perfect to try to meditate after work or day or whatever. So I'm going to allow that time. um, you Report an error in the passage at 5:02 Highlight the passage at 5:02

5:10 But then we'll have the content of the class in the middle and we'll make sure that we allow time for questions and things like that. Yeah, so we're just going to dive in. People will come in late and just do your best to hold on to the object. Just kind of take a few moments to roll your shoulders out. Report an error in the passage at 5:10 Highlight the passage at 5:10

5:32 If you're like me and you happen to hold a lot of stress in your shoulders, you might try stretching. Your neck or your back or your arms or your legs, whatever part of you needs to be stretched. And just start taking some nice deep belly breaths and let go of your day. Report an error in the passage at 5:32 Highlight the passage at 5:32

5:52 Sometimes it helps to actually visualize breathing out all the yucky stuff. If you got angry today or had any negative minds about anything at all, or if you feel still distracted by the activities of the day, just imagine breathing them out like black smoke coming out of a chimney. Report an error in the passage at 5:52 Highlight the passage at 5:52

6:14 And imagine breathing in bright, white, sparkling qualities of mind and body, energy, focus, concentration, awareness, bringing yourself into this room, the sort of magical two hours that we have to talk about emptiness. Report an error in the passage at 6:14 Highlight the passage at 6:14

6:40 You can be tired when you leave. Report an error in the passage at 6:40 Highlight the passage at 6:40

6:47 So just take a few breaths to do that. Report an error in the passage at 6:47 Highlight the passage at 6:47

7:18 By the time you've done it three or four times, just imagine that your mind is really fresh now and alert. Report an error in the passage at 7:18 Highlight the passage at 7:18

7:38 We'll just set up motivation for this meditation that whatever happens for us in this meditation, whatever experiences we have, whatever understandings or insights we might gain, may they become direct imprints and seeds in our mind that take us all the way to the... Direct experience of emptiness and enlightenment itself for the benefit of all beings. Report an error in the passage at 7:38 Highlight the passage at 7:38

8:29 We're going to do this meditation on dependent arising by Venable Rubina. She has an introduction where she talks about how we think of my body as being the thing, the one thing in the world that is most obviously mine, that I identify with the most, what I cling to and take care of and think about as me. Report an error in the passage at 8:29 Highlight the passage at 8:29

8:57 Definitely me. Report an error in the passage at 8:57 Highlight the passage at 8:57

9:05 But if we think about it very long and we think about it in very much detail, this thing that we consider to be my body has come into a being and continues to exist in dependence on a myriad of causes and conditions. Report an error in the passage at 9:05 Highlight the passage at 9:05

9:28 And if we look into all those causes and conditions, we can't find this thing called my body. And Report an error in the passage at 9:28 Highlight the passage at 9:28

9:37 yet my body is nothing other than. These causes and conditions. Report an error in the passage at 9:37 Highlight the passage at 9:37

9:54 As Geshe Jampa Tekchuk says, it can be said that everything in the universe before this body of mine came into existence could Report an error in the passage at 9:54 Highlight the passage at 9:54

10:08 be considered a valid cause and condition for the existence of this body. Report an error in the passage at 10:08 Highlight the passage at 10:08

10:21 I think my body came into existence with this egg in the sperm from my mother and father. Report an error in the passage at 10:21 Highlight the passage at 10:21

10:33 So where is my body? Report an error in the passage at 10:33 Highlight the passage at 10:33

10:41 Without mother and father's parents, there would be no mother and father. And without the mother and father, there would be no my body. Report an error in the passage at 10:41 Highlight the passage at 10:41

10:56 So where is my body apart from all these beginningless mothers and fathers? Report an error in the passage at 10:56 Highlight the passage at 10:56

11:14 Without my mother's womb, the egg and sperm could not join and develop. And without the food my mother ate, every day the egg and sperm could not grow into a fetus. Report an error in the passage at 11:14 Highlight the passage at 11:14

11:28 So where is my body apart from all the food that she ate? Report an error in the passage at 11:28 Highlight the passage at 11:28

11:36 My body is nothing other than a mountain of carrots and potatoes and chicken and bread. Report an error in the passage at 11:36 Highlight the passage at 11:36

11:45 Without the earth, the gardener, the sun, the water, the fertilizer, there would be no carrots. Without the carrots there would be no mother. Without my mother there would be no my body. It does not exist. Report an error in the passage at 11:45 Highlight the passage at 11:45

12:08 My body would not exist without the clothes my mother wore to keep her warm in the winter. Report an error in the passage at 12:08 Highlight the passage at 12:08

12:18 The clothes would not exist without the sheep who provided the wool. The sheep shearers, the sheep shearers' mothers, the owners of the sheep, Report an error in the passage at 12:18 Highlight the passage at 12:18

12:31 the people who processed the wool, the people who turned it into cloth, the truck drivers who took the cloth to the factory, the clothes designers, the tailors, the sewing machines, the designers of the sewing machines, the shops that sold the clothes, Report an error in the passage at 12:31 Highlight the passage at 12:31

12:55 the people who made the racks the clothes hung on. Where is my body apart from all of these? It cannot be found. Report an error in the passage at 12:55 Highlight the passage at 12:55

13:13 My body could not exist without the cotton bushes, the people who planted the cotton, the farmers who nourished the cotton bushes, the people who picked the cotton, the people who drove the trucks that took the cotton to be processed, the architect of the factory where the cotton was turned into cloth, Report an error in the passage at 13:13 Highlight the passage at 13:13

13:39 the people who turned the cotton into cloth, the people who dyed the cloth. The people who made the die. The person who designed the packet that contained the die. The printer who printed the packet. Report an error in the passage at 13:39 Highlight the passage at 13:39

13:58 The people who made the printing machine. Where is my body apart from all of these causes and conditions? Report an error in the passage at 13:58 Highlight the passage at 13:58

14:09 It does not exist. Report an error in the passage at 14:09 Highlight the passage at 14:09

14:21 My body would not exist without the doctors and nurses who helped it come out of the womb. The soft cloth that protected it and kept it warm. Report an error in the passage at 14:21 Highlight the passage at 14:21

14:32 The crib in which it was put to sleep. The milk from my mother's breasts. The food that my mother ate that transformed into the milk that nourished my body. The nurses who checked this body while it was sleeping to make sure it did not suffocate. Report an error in the passage at 14:32 Highlight the passage at 14:32

14:53 The heating in the hospital that kept the body warm. The electricity that kept the heaters running. The electricians who did the wiring in the hospital. Report an error in the passage at 14:53 Highlight the passage at 14:53

15:08 The colleges they went to to learn to become electricians. The teachers in those colleges. Report an error in the passage at 15:08 Highlight the passage at 15:08

15:21 Where is my body apart from all these countless causes and conditions? It cannot be found. Report an error in the passage at 15:21 Highlight the passage at 15:21

15:35 My body is nothing other than all the food I ate as a child, the milk and rice and peas and lamb and apples and eggs. My body could not exist without the food, the farmers, the people who trucked the vegetables to market, the people who sold the vegetables, the people who made shelves at the market that held the vegetables off the ground. Report an error in the passage at 15:35 Highlight the passage at 15:35

16:07 The people who made the stalls at the market, the people who made the shop where they sold the lamb, the person who killed the lamb, the person who packed it, the person who put it in the refrigerator at the supermarket, the people who made the refrigerator, Report an error in the passage at 16:07 Highlight the passage at 16:07

16:31 the people who made the factory where the refrigerator was made. Report an error in the passage at 16:31 Highlight the passage at 16:31

16:39 My body could not exist without the mountains of morality practiced in the previous life. That is its main karmic cause. Report an error in the passage at 16:39 Highlight the passage at 16:39

16:49 That morality could not have been practiced without the kindness of the gurus who showed the path to the person in the previous life, without the kindness of the Dharma friends, in the books in which the Dharma was printed, Report an error in the passage at 16:49 Highlight the passage at 16:49

17:07 the people who printed the Dharma books, the person who designed the typeface used in the Dharma books, the person who made the paper, the people who chopped down the trees with which the paper was made, the previous parents. Report an error in the passage at 17:07 Highlight the passage at 17:07

17:30 The food the previous mother ate to nourish her body so that the body in her womb could grow so that the previous person could survive to practice morality in order to create the cause to have my body in this life. Report an error in the passage at 17:30 Highlight the passage at 17:30

17:50 It's clear there is no my body apart from these beginningless causes and conditions. So what is there to cling to? Report an error in the passage at 17:50 Highlight the passage at 17:50

18:17 So let's motivate this class tonight. To each of us creating the causes to be able to directly perceive emptiness so we can stop our clinging and stop generating all these negative states of mind that hold us back so that we can get enlightened quickly, quickly for the benefit of all living beings. Report an error in the passage at 18:17 Highlight the passage at 18:17

18:50 And then in your own time, as you're ready, you can end your meditation. We're going to start with opening prayers. Report an error in the passage at 18:50 Highlight the passage at 18:50

19:14 I forgot where it is. anybody remember to Report an error in the passage at 19:14 Highlight the passage at 19:14

19:22 246 or something like that sounds right Report an error in the passage at 19:22 Highlight the passage at 19:22

19:27 No, that was end. 229. Thank you. Report an error in the passage at 19:27 Highlight the passage at 19:27

19:39 Similar to Shantideva, right? With the wish to free all beings, I shall always go for refuge to Buddha, Dharma and Saṅgha until I reach full enlightenment. Inspired by wisdom and compassion. Today in the Buddha's presence, I generate the mind of full awakening for the benefit of all sentient beings. As long as space remains, as long as sentient beings remain, until then may I too remain and dispel the miseries of the world. Report an error in the passage at 19:39 Highlight the passage at 19:39

20:23 Okay, Report an error in the passage at 20:23 Highlight the passage at 20:23

20:27 so any questions or comments about the meditation that we just did? Anything that's been coming up for you in class or anything at all? Report an error in the passage at 20:27 Highlight the passage at 20:27

20:45 Alonzo? Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 20:45 Highlight the passage at 20:45

20:54 Until just now, this was the first good meditation I had all week. I've been trying hard all week, but it has been working. So my question is, when you're sitting down in a meditation session and your mind is really as agitated as mine obviously was this week, is it best to just... Sit through it, try to do the best you can for that a lot of time, or are there times when you should maybe say, you know, maybe not today? I think, I have to review my notes, but I think we are going to talk about it a little bit more in the final class, because this definitely comes up with calm abiding, machine. Report an error in the passage at 20:54 Highlight the passage at 20:54

21:36 If you think it's bad with analytical meditation. Actually, that's one reason I love analytical meditation, because it gives my crazy mind something to hold on to. Report an error in the passage at 21:36 Highlight the passage at 21:36

21:46 But there's a couple of things to try. One is to just almost force it. Sometimes I'll use my name. I'll actually be like, Chokyi, stay with it, because it kind of gets my attention. you know Report an error in the passage at 21:46 Highlight the passage at 21:46

22:08 I've even done so much as I taught John this one too. I'll even slap my face sometimes. Just be like, stop it. Especially if it's just wandering crazy. I haven't gotten this one from a teacher. I have such a crazy mind, so I'm very experienced with this one. I haven't subdued it, unfortunately, so I'm not so experienced with that. Report an error in the passage at 22:08 Highlight the passage at 22:08

22:30 Sometimes it's useful to, if the room is really bright, to lower the lights a little bit. And I in retreat sometimes I've actually covered the windows because especially in the morning, my mind just is awake and ready to go. You know, I mean, like almost 530. I'm like, OK, you know, and definitely caffeine, cutting back on caffeine. Report an error in the passage at 22:30 Highlight the passage at 22:30

22:56 So but even when no caffeine, my mind's like that. So and you sit down and the mind is like, OK, what can we think about? Great. You know. There's nothing in front of us to do. What can we do? So you just kind of have to counter all of those with some way of cooling the mind down a little bit. So yeah, bringing the light down a little bit. Not if you're sleepy. That's not going to work. But for dullness, there's a whole different set of antidotes. Report an error in the passage at 22:56 Highlight the passage at 22:56

23:23 But for that monkey mind, agitated mind, lowering the lights a little bit. Also, having the room be cooler. For that mind, because the dull mind, actually, sorry, having the room be a little bit warmer for that mind. Because for the dull mind, it's the opposite. You want it to be a little bit cooler because the dull mind is giving in to kind of sluggish, sleepy mind. And so you definitely don't want to be overwrapped. Report an error in the passage at 23:23 Highlight the passage at 23:23

23:56 But you can be a little bit warmer with an agitated mind. My mind, unfortunately, goes so quickly between the two that sometimes there's no warning. I'm like, okay, you know, it's like a baby. You know how babies are? They're like running and then all of a sudden they just literally fall down and they're like not even all the way, you know, on the ground. That's the way my mind works. Report an error in the passage at 23:56 Highlight the passage at 23:56

24:20 Yeah, so you just kind of have a whole list of tools that you can apply and then apply them. But I would say don't give up. Because then the self-cherishing mind sort of wins. So just do it. Just do it. And then, you know, you can look at different factors when you're meditating. So you can sort of see, have I, for example, if I'm prone to dullness and sleepiness, then I really have to check whether I'm getting enough sleep. Because sometimes it's just as simple as that. Report an error in the passage at 24:20 Highlight the passage at 24:20

24:49 We're just not getting enough sleep. And you're not going to force it. And then checking things like, what did I eat before? Obviously I'm going to have a dull mind if I just ate something, you know, things like that. But sometimes I actually notice, so the opposite, if I have a really agitated mind, sometimes it helps to have just a little something to eat. Report an error in the passage at 24:49 Highlight the passage at 24:49

25:10 Because it kind of, you know, it's like that empty stomach syndrome and it's just kind of just a little bit. I actually have noticed that that can be a little bit grounding. So you just play with different things like that. And note it. Like keeping a meditation journal is really, really useful. And then you can kind of see over time, you know, what things have led into it. Report an error in the passage at 25:10 Highlight the passage at 25:10

25:29 So maybe write down, you know, five or six main things. Time, what you're meditating on, you know. You might say something like, ate, didn't eat, you know, room cold, room warm, you know, so that over time you can kind of analyze, you know, and just like what's working, what's not working, you know. And if you're seeing over and over, mind dull, mind dull, room warm, like you can begin to make that connection. But yeah, without spending too much more time on it, but yeah, there's a lot of different antidotes and tools and you just develop the best ones for you. Report an error in the passage at 25:29 Highlight the passage at 25:29

26:06 But you can also think about... There's a couple of things that you can contemplate if you're prone to one mind or the other. If you're prone to the dull sleeping mind, then you want to contemplate precious human rebirth. So you really get it that you have this great opportunity. If your mind is really agitated, sometimes you need to sober it a little bit. Report an error in the passage at 26:06 Highlight the passage at 26:06

26:29 So then thinking about death and impermanence can also kind of snap you out of it. You know, so I'll do that one too. Chokyi, you're going to die, you know. It's like, oh God. You know, and sometimes it'll help for one session, you know, to kind of do that. Or you just think about something like that. You think about somebody that you know who has died or something recently or just some, might even have a couple of quotes nearby for a time like that and just pull one out. Report an error in the passage at 26:29 Highlight the passage at 26:29

26:57 Just like, you know, I mean, like His Holiness or Lama Yeshe has like... A single sentence sometimes that that's all you need. And I'll memorize some of those so they're just there. And then it'll just be like, you know, whatever. But yeah, just like that. That's a whole bunch. Another one for dullness that works, dullness, sleepiness, is washing your face with really cold water. So maybe, I wonder if warm water would work if you were agitated. Report an error in the passage at 26:57 Highlight the passage at 26:57

27:24 Sometimes I think about the opposites and think, yeah, try it. Who else? Questions? Wait, pass it back, talking stick, wait, wait, wait. Just a quick addendum to that question. So sometimes when my mind is being really agitated and whizzing around, I'll give it a really complicated visualization, like a chew toy to a dog. Report an error in the passage at 27:24 Highlight the passage at 27:24

27:50 It's like, here, go deal with this. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Well, I guess if you have an object that you had decided you were going to meditate on, I wouldn't switch the object so quickly yet. So if you were, say you were meditating on this and your mind is really agitated, I would keep bringing it back to this. And only in the situation where you really can't, you just, you've tried for 20 minutes, 30 minutes and you can't, then I might try. Report an error in the passage at 27:50 Highlight the passage at 27:50

28:23 Coming out of the whole meditation and doing either contemplating precious human rebirth or death, depending on what it is. And if that's still not working, then you could try a complicated visualization. But you're getting so far off the object that I wouldn't do that so quickly in the game. But yeah, rather that than giving up completely. Report an error in the passage at 28:23 Highlight the passage at 28:23

28:43 Because I think the number of times that we just give up completely, we sort of let our minds win again. And they've been doing this for a while. They're more experienced at it than we are. Phil, did you have your hand? One question when I started getting into that meditation was independent rising is finding where free will fits once you really start boiling it down. Report an error in the passage at 28:43 Highlight the passage at 28:43

29:12 And I was just wondering, is that... Should I dig deeper into that topic right now or should I just hold off on that? Once you sort of get how karma works, you realize that actually we face a lot of opportunities that we can make choices. On how we respond to things that are happening. For example, when things happen, something happened to me at work today and I had to remember karma. Boy, did I not want to. Report an error in the passage at 29:12 Highlight the passage at 29:12

29:39 I wanted to give in to a hissy fit, you know. I was like, dang. So that's a free will choice. I can decide not to continue with the hissy fit. It hasn't served me very well for lifetimes. And instead remember karma. I was kind of like, you know. But it was a choice. And so there's a lot of those kind of choices that we can actually make once we have the tools and we have those choices to make. Karma has created a number of the, I mean, all of the conditions of our life, but it's constantly recreating and recreating and recreating. Report an error in the passage at 29:39 Highlight the passage at 29:39

30:13 So it's not like it's anything set in stone. Everything is fluid and changing constantly. So there's lots of room for free will, actually. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 30:13 Highlight the passage at 30:13

30:24 Does that help? Yeah. Yeah. It is. It comes up in almost every Dharma teaching I've ever been in in the entire world. Report an error in the passage at 30:24 Highlight the passage at 30:24

30:36 So again, I think we have to get away from the idea of thinking of karma and causes and conditions as set, as something like destiny. It's not fate. So it's just this karma is... so, yeah, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 30:36 Highlight the passage at 30:36

30:55 They sort of describe it almost like the law of gravity or something where it's this creator force that is put into action with all of the actions that are constantly happening within our body, speech and mind. So because they are constantly happening, it's constantly shifting and changing. So it's not like I may have the karma to live at the center and then I... Report an error in the passage at 30:55 Highlight the passage at 30:55

31:25 Could also have the karma where other potentials open up and I would decide to not live at the center. But it doesn't mean, you know what I mean? So the potentiality, karma itself creates potentiality in our minds, but we don't do every single one of those potentialities. Does that make more sense? So it's like, yeah. So I use terms like imprints and seeds because I think they're sort of a little more understandable, but it's really like potentialities. Report an error in the passage at 31:25 Highlight the passage at 31:25

31:53 I think over time when I've gone to teachers to ask for advice, especially with Lama Zopa Rinpoche, and he'll do a mo, which is like a divination, I think what they do is they see the potential in your mind, but they don't necessarily know how you will work with that potential. They keep shifting, so the advice keeps shifting depending on what you've done and how much of that you've followed. Report an error in the passage at 31:53 Highlight the passage at 31:53

32:22 And then whenever we screw up and we don't do it, they don't just say, well, too late. They just keep coming up with new advice that kind of works with where you are now because karma is constantly shifting. So it's a little less than like this is how exactly it will turn out. It's not like that. I don't know. Report an error in the passage at 32:22 Highlight the passage at 32:22

32:41 Anyway, it's a lot more fluid, I think, than we think. And as much as I study it, I'm still sort of caught with that idea of things being more set. I'm trying to break that all the time, too. Saying this to you is actually helping me to remember that it's all potentiality. We never lose that potentiality, even when we screw up. We just start again. Anybody else? Report an error in the passage at 32:41 Highlight the passage at 32:41

33:08 Any other questions? Any other things coming up? Report an error in the passage at 33:08 Highlight the passage at 33:08

33:15 No, I was saying hi to her because she came in. She may have a question, although. you know, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 33:15 Highlight the passage at 33:15

33:22 Just an observation, I guess, but doing that meditation, the feelings that brought up was feeling grateful and connected. Yeah. But my mind didn't quite make the leap to, therefore, you know, there's no point in clinging or this isn't really my body. So is there anything you could? I think doing it over and over. Yeah. Yeah, the interdependence is definitely a really big one there. Report an error in the passage at 33:22 Highlight the passage at 33:22

33:50 think when you what you're. Trying to do is to constantly come back to how we think of it as my body. Actually, the next step is me, which is the meditation we'll do this week. We often just think of my body as me, which is, of course, why we get so upset when we get injured or sick or whatever. It's like, I'm sick, I'm injured, I'm dying. Report an error in the passage at 33:50 Highlight the passage at 33:50

34:16 But it's the body that's going through those things. So we really identify very strongly with the body. So we keep coming back to, you know, if my body is actually created out of all these other sources, you know, that are limitlessly back. I mean, sometimes it almost gets humorous, you know, how she gets into all of the people and the animals and the beings and the parents and all that stuff who are involved. Report an error in the passage at 34:16 Highlight the passage at 34:16

34:43 And so we're beginning to sort of question. Question, well, why do I think of it as my body? And if we begin questioning why do I think of it as my body, then the next leap is going to be why do I think of it as me so solidly? So I think just doing it over and over. And also catching yourself when you think, you know, my body or I'm this, I'm tired, I'm depressed, I'm angry, I'm, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm, me, me, me. Report an error in the passage at 34:43 Highlight the passage at 34:43

35:11 What are you thinking of? What part of it is you? You know, just analyzing, breaking it down like that. I think the more times we do it, the more it wakes us up, you know. Report an error in the passage at 35:11 Highlight the passage at 35:11

35:27 And did you have a question also, or were you just trying to help pass the mic? Okay. Okay. Marcella, yeah, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 35:27 Highlight the passage at 35:27

35:40 After we jump rope. Yeah. A question. During this week I was doing the meditation. Okay. Report an error in the passage at 35:40 Highlight the passage at 35:40

35:51 And I had the experience that I was doing the meditation, but I was looking at this body like I was looking from outside, thinking I have pain at that time. Report an error in the passage at 35:51 Highlight the passage at 35:51

36:11 But I said, oh, this body has pain, but that is not going to disturb my mind this moment because it's just... The karma that is, you know, arising and is telling me that it's time to take more advantage of the time. But I feel, and I can tell, I don't know, maybe that's why I'm asking, see that I can see from outside, means I, in that moment or that second, I saw, or I feel like... Report an error in the passage at 36:11 Highlight the passage at 36:11

36:52 I'm looking at my body, but not like, oh, my body, no, this body, like a separation or so. I don't know if maybe I'm not doing the right thing. No, so what you're talking about, and correct me if I'm wrong, you're talking about, so you were having experience of pain and you were trying to examine the fact that... Report an error in the passage at 36:52 Highlight the passage at 36:52

37:19 This pain didn't have to affect your mind, correct? So you were in that meditation or contemplation, you were actually almost like stepping outside of your body to do that, to see the separation between the mind and the body? Yes. Yeah, I don't see that. I think that that's useful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think it could be useful. I've done that before when I'm sick and then the mind begins to get depressed or something like that to realize. Report an error in the passage at 37:19 Highlight the passage at 37:19

37:49 You know, I have the flu or I have a cold or I have a headache or something like that. It doesn't have to affect the mind. And then thinking about, you can think about, you know, great llamas or something that, you know, or even Lama Yeshe, the way he actually passed away and he kept his mind so positive and happy in the way that it didn't have to affect. Report an error in the passage at 37:49 Highlight the passage at 37:49

38:11 Whatever his body was going through didn't have to affect his mind. So I think that's an actual really powerful analysis. Actually after that I had the sensation or the feeling that I really can for that moment. Control my mind and say, okay, this is not bad at all. I can watch that and it's okay. It was useful for me, but I wasn't sure. Report an error in the passage at 38:11 Highlight the passage at 38:11

38:37 Yeah, yeah. No, I think it's quite powerful. I think what we just do is follow old habits. And so we just, without even questioning it, we just go into an old rut of... Lama actually called it self-pity mind. And self-pity mind is just about the strongest mind there is when you're sick, I think, or in pain or anything like that. Report an error in the passage at 38:37 Highlight the passage at 38:37

38:58 And we just don't question it. And so what you're doing is questioning it. You're like separating the two and being like, wait a second, the mind can be strong and happy and stable just because the body's a mess. I mean, ultimately the body is going to fall apart in this life. There's nothing to do about that. That's part of saṃsāra. This body will not last forever. Report an error in the passage at 38:58 Highlight the passage at 38:58

39:18 And so the sooner that we can kind of get it that they aren't the same thing, that's really important. It can really help us in the short term as well. We at least won't be so depressed when we get the cold or flu or migraine, which is my personal cross to bear. Report an error in the passage at 39:18 Highlight the passage at 39:18

39:37 And Susan's too. Some of my best meditations have been done with things like that. Anyone else? Any other things? Alan, right? Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 39:37 Highlight the passage at 39:37

39:55 First of all, you have a very good knack of picking readings. Well, I can't say that. I can't take credit for them. Some of them were chosen by empty. Well, I read the downloaded ones, which I enjoyed those. But when I keep going back to Realizing Emptiness, is it me or is that book dense? Realizing Emptiness. Which one? Report an error in the passage at 39:55 Highlight the passage at 39:55

40:15 The book, Realizing Emptiness? Oh, Gen Lanrimpa's. Yeah, Gen Lanrimpa's book. No, no, it's all very dense. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 40:15 Highlight the passage at 40:15

40:25 I would just say read it in small doses. Is it dense for a reason or that's just the way he is? I think that's just the way he's teaching it. I think the actual subject of emptiness can be quite dense, especially as it's traditionally taught. It can be quite dense. I would just take it in small doses. Report an error in the passage at 40:25 Highlight the passage at 40:25

40:46 It's sort of like people who think they're going to read the entire lamrim in a weekend or something. That kind of defeats the purpose. Take it in small doses and see if you take it in small doses if it's still as dense. Would I be better off with Echo's avoidness? I think it's all kind of dense. It's all dense. Yeah, I think it's all kind of dense. So just take it in small bits. Yeah, yeah. Most important at this stage is having an experience of it. Report an error in the passage at 40:46 Highlight the passage at 40:46

41:18 So less words is actually, well. From my point of view, I think less words at this level. We use the words to kind of get us to an experience. We use the words to kind of discuss it with each other. We use the words, I use the words to try to share information and you use the words to try to understand that information. But then you just let it go and try to sit more with it. Report an error in the passage at 41:18 Highlight the passage at 41:18

41:44 So that's what I would do is just take it in little small batches and maybe even take it in little small batches and then sit for ten minutes afterwards and see if you have some sort of an experience of what he's trying to say. Who knows how, you know, a lot of these books are actually transcriptions of courses. That might be how he taught it. So he might have actually said, I remember Reba Rinpoche one time at Lam... Report an error in the passage at 41:44 Highlight the passage at 41:44

42:12 Mr. Bodhicitta. He used to teach at Land of Medicine Buddha. I was so fortunate when I first came here. He used to teach all the time down there. He taught the experiential lamrim. He would feign anger. He would say, everyone put down your pencils. I want you to sit and meditate on this. For every point in the lamrim, he'd make us just stop and meditate. Report an error in the passage at 42:12 Highlight the passage at 42:12

42:39 So who knows how Genlan Rinpoche taught it. They just didn't write that part down. Maybe he said, stop it, Alan, put your pen down. I want you to sit right now and meditate on this until you have some experience of it. Because he knew that was what's going to give us the experience. It's not more and more notes. The notes help us remember. I would always try to hide it so he wouldn't see me. Report an error in the passage at 42:39 Highlight the passage at 42:39

43:02 Because I knew I'd forget, and I didn't want to forget. And I'm glad I have those notes. But yeah, I think we don't know how the course actually went that produced that transcript that's now called that book. But most likely, he didn't sit down and write it. Just like most likely, Venerable Urbina didn't write that meditation. She probably just said it all off the top of her head. Somebody recorded it, transcribed it. Report an error in the passage at 43:02 Highlight the passage at 43:02

43:29 She probably edited it because she's great at editing. But otherwise, it became a written work. So I think that's probably true for realizing emptiness. I know it's true for the Shiné course, the book that became, what's it called? Calming the Mind, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So that was also taught in a retreat. It's actually a one-year retreat. Report an error in the passage at 43:29 Highlight the passage at 43:29

43:59 Was it a one-year calm-abiding retreat in Seattle? Yeah, it was a translator. Yeah, yeah. You just don't know the experience of that particular course. So he could have stopped after every paragraph, what's now a paragraph, the self-existent paragraph, were once words coming out of his holy mouth and people were probably meditating on them deeply at the time and also going out at the break and going, what the hell did that mean? Report an error in the passage at 43:59 Highlight the passage at 43:59

44:29 So you're not alone. Exactly, yeah. No, it could well be. He probably came in, said his bit for half an hour, and then Alan Wallace led discussion for 17 hours before the next one happened. Who knows? You're familiar with Alan Wallace? Yeah, yeah. No, I am, actually. I think he does some great, amazing work, actually. Report an error in the passage at 44:29 Highlight the passage at 44:29

44:50 And now he's doing all these comma-binding retreats all over the place, but especially in Thailand, I know. Yeah. Anybody else? Anybody else? Report an error in the passage at 44:50 Highlight the passage at 44:50

45:05 Okay, so there's Report an error in the passage at 45:05 Highlight the passage at 45:05

45:11 a lot. There's just a lot. Report an error in the passage at 45:11 Highlight the passage at 45:11

45:16 Okay, I wanted to mention there's a quote. I remember one time when Venerable Sarah Thresher was teaching on emptiness and she actually took us through a sort of famous quote from the Diamond Cutter Sūtra and she did it meditatively where she would just read one line, each metaphor. And we had to just meditate on it. And we didn't necessarily know what the hell. I mean, there were all different levels in the Course. It was here. But she would just say each one. Report an error in the passage at 45:16 Highlight the passage at 45:16

45:46 And she wouldn't necessarily teach on it. She was just reading it. And we'd just meditate on it for a while. So the line, the quote from a Diamond Cutter Sūtra is, A shooting star, a mirage, a butter lamp, an illusion, a drop of dew, or a bubble, a dream, or a flash of lightning or a cloud. See conditioned things as such. Report an error in the passage at 45:46 Highlight the passage at 45:46

46:16 shooting star, mirage, butter lamp, illusion, drop of dew, or a bubble, dream, or a flash of lightning, or a cloud. See conditioned things as such. Yeah, they reprinted in that opening prayer, if you were looking for that. It's in Shakyamuni Buddha's prayer. Yeah. So what she would do is she would just do a shooting star. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 46:16 Highlight the passage at 46:16

46:48 Oh, if people want to read it, page 76. It's in the opening prayer of, except I put back in mirage instead of aberration because I just. Yeah, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 46:48 Highlight the passage at 46:48

47:00 I think that's one she used. So all of these metaphors are different ways to think about. Um. Report an error in the passage at 47:00 Highlight the passage at 47:00

47:09 How we see conditioned things. What are conditioned things? Conditioned things are all phenomena that arise due to causes and conditions, which is basically everything, including ourselves, with a couple of notable exceptions, like space. Report an error in the passage at 47:09 Highlight the passage at 47:09

47:28 So each of these metaphors describes the way that these things exist, but seem to exist in a different way. So we can just reflect on each one of them and we get a little bit closer to how things actually exist. They seem really real in a certain way and then when we think about all these different kinds of, we project all the solidity onto them and so this is like a way of sort of breaking up that solidity a little bit. Report an error in the passage at 47:28 Highlight the passage at 47:28

48:04 A shooting star or sometimes they say a star in the daytime. It's really hard to see and sometimes you wonder if you actually saw it. I don't know if you've ever just laid there watching the night sky looking for shooting stars. I used to do that a lot when I was a kid. I guess you could see the sky a lot more. Report an error in the passage at 48:04 Highlight the passage at 48:04

48:22 And I know down in San Diego, too, where my sister lived down in San Diego, they have those showers. What are those things called? Meteor showers, yeah. And so you'd hear about that there was going to be them or something like that. And we'd all go out there and everyone's waiting for them to start. So then you're like, did I see it? Report an error in the passage at 48:22 Highlight the passage at 48:22

48:40 Did I see it? And it's like that a lot. We sort of, we wonder if what we saw actually happened, you know, or if our mind made it up a little bit. Report an error in the passage at 48:40 Highlight the passage at 48:40

48:52 The Mirage is this sort of collection of different... You know, heat and moisture and so forth that causes it to look like there's like a body of water in the distance or puddles on the pavement or something. And they look really real. I remember seeing that a lot when my family would go on vacation and we were... Report an error in the passage at 48:52 Highlight the passage at 48:52

49:17 And I was always like thrown all the way in the back. This is before seatbelts. They would throw me all the way in the back of the station wagon with the dog. Everybody else was all talking. So I just would look out the window and think about these things. It's perfect, actually. Future nun training, I guess. But I remember seeing that you could see like the... Report an error in the passage at 49:17 Highlight the passage at 49:17

49:36 The heat on the pavement, and it would look like water, but I was, of course, looking at the back, right? So I knew we had just come through it, and it was dry, like it hadn't. So I remember thinking about that, and I was like, how, why does it look like that? And we just came through it, and I know it wasn't, you know, wet. Butter lamps flicker, and especially right at the moment, suddenly they just go out. Report an error in the passage at 49:36 Highlight the passage at 49:36

50:00 And they often say, you know, that's a good meditation for impermanence, is to... Light a whole bunch of candles and then just watch how they don't go out in order, the order that you lit them, right? So it's just like life, right? We all may be born, even if we were born on the exact same day, if you maybe had friends and all that when you were a kid, we all live to different ages. Report an error in the passage at 50:00 Highlight the passage at 50:00

50:24 We don't go out in that order, like the order that we came in, you know? Which would be, I guess, scary enough. It's bad enough you don't know when you're going to go. But if you knew your turn was next, I think somehow that would be even more frightening. But yeah, you can kind of do that as a meditation. You can just watch them sort of flickering and all of a sudden that one will go out. Or that one will go out. Report an error in the passage at 50:24 Highlight the passage at 50:24

50:52 It's kind of more dramatic if you're in the dark. You see what nuns do in our spare time. Report an error in the passage at 50:52 Highlight the passage at 50:52

51:01 A bubble. I think we've all played with bubbles or even just watched bubbles, but it's really nothing but the thinnest, thinnest, thinnest membrane of either water or soap. And then it just sort of expands and expands and expands, and then all of a sudden it's just gone. Report an error in the passage at 51:01 Highlight the passage at 51:01

51:19 When you're a kid, I maybe have a lot of attachment, but I would have almost relationships with bubbles. You'd create them, and then you'd watch them, and you'd watch them, and you thought it was so beautiful, and the way the light was on it and everything, and then all of a sudden it would be gone. Report an error in the passage at 51:19 Highlight the passage at 51:19

51:36 The baby cry. I know everybody thinks it's so fun to play with bubbles with babies, and it's like, I don't know. Report an error in the passage at 51:36 Highlight the passage at 51:36

51:45 Good training for impermanence, right? You know, it would be good. Report an error in the passage at 51:45 Highlight the passage at 51:45

51:42 don't know. Report an error in the passage at 51:42 Highlight the passage at 51:42

51:48 Flash of lightning. If anybody's been in the southwest, especially the way you can, it's just so flat and it just lights up the whole landscape. It's almost like daytime. It's like everything is lit. You can see houses and everything and then just like that, just all sense darkness. And sometimes you don't even see sign of a storm anymore. Maybe it wasn't ever even going to be a storm. It was just heat lightning. Report an error in the passage at 51:48 Highlight the passage at 51:48

52:15 And then clouds. Clouds constantly reforming, dissolving, moving into other shapes. When I was a kid, definitely we used to lie on our backs and look at that one, they say an ice cream cone, you know, and that one they say, you know, and you would see them literally changing before your eyes, you know. Report an error in the passage at 52:15 Highlight the passage at 52:15

52:33 They don't add rainbow in here. I think rainbows like that too. We see a rainbow in the distance and it seems really real and yet you can see through it. So you already kind of know something's up, you know, but it seems really real. And then just as quickly, you almost, if you're staring at it, if you're the one who's not driving and you're watching it, it just suddenly is not there. Report an error in the passage at 52:33 Highlight the passage at 52:33

52:56 And then you're wondering, well, did I really see it? You know, especially if you're the only one, you know, anyone to check it against. It's like, maybe I didn't see it. Maybe it was just, you know. But all phenomena is like that. That's what this quote from the Buddha is. Report an error in the passage at 52:56 Highlight the passage at 52:56

53:14 He's saying that every single one of these things describes the phenomena that we get attached to and that we cling to and that we then create minds of negativity based on that misconception of reality. So you can actually say, I am like a shooting star or a star in the daytime. I am like a butter lamp. Report an error in the passage at 53:14 Highlight the passage at 53:14

53:39 I am like an illusion. I am like a drop of dew or bubble. Because then it becomes a little more real. It's like, oh, it's all beautiful and poetic, but wait a second, I am like that too. So these are just different ways that we can kind of try to contemplate and meditate on the things that we think are so solidly existent. Report an error in the passage at 53:39 Highlight the passage at 53:39

54:05 So again, what does it mean to be inherently existent? What does it mean to be empty of inherent existence? We project this quality of inherent existence onto everything that we see, everything we experience, every person that we relate to, including us. We see them as separate, as existing separate from me and my thoughts and my mind, independent really, independent of any kind of causation, any kind of Report an error in the passage at 54:05 Highlight the passage at 54:05

54:45 Interrelatedness. We just see these things as existing. Cushion, clock, table, chair. So if we're talking about this table for existence, it seems to be a table from its own side. What does that sentence mean? It seems to be imbued with some sort of tableness that we could find that has nothing to do with me and my perceptions and my karma and what I'm seeing, my experience. Report an error in the passage at 54:45 Highlight the passage at 54:45

55:13 But then if we start really going deeply, where is this tableness? Where does the tableness exist in this form, you know, in front of me? Is it the top? Is it the sides? You know, is it the base? Is it the color? Is it this veneer that's about to come off? Is it, you know, is it any one of its parts? Is it all of its parts? Or is it something deeper? Report an error in the passage at 55:13 Highlight the passage at 55:13

55:43 In the atoms that create this table? And when did it start to be a table? And how much can you remove before it stops being a table? Or does it stay a table that's broken if we take it away enough parts? I think that's a useful one to think about with people too. At what point does a person stop being a person? Report an error in the passage at 55:43 Highlight the passage at 55:43

56:12 You know, we're getting into the parts of what's creating whatever it is in front of us that we're believing exists so solidly in front of us. It's kind of like this onion skin. You keep pulling back layer after layer after layer and you can't find what you thought was there. In fact, what you just thought. Report an error in the passage at 56:12 Highlight the passage at 56:12

56:32 It had to be there, like there was no uncertainty in your mind before this class. There was no uncertainty in your mind about what was there. It just, you thought for sure there was this table solidly there. Report an error in the passage at 56:32 Highlight the passage at 56:32

56:46 It does exist in this, as a non-inherently existent table. So it does exist in this kind of changing moment by moment, interdependent way that we've been talking about. Just like all of us exist in that way. So we're not saying it doesn't exist at all. But that isn't what we see. We don't see this sort of lightness of being on this table that's existing based upon all of the different causes and conditions of the people that made it and the paint and the materials that it's made out of and how it serves a function. Report an error in the passage at 56:46 Highlight the passage at 56:46

57:25 and my karma that It causes me to see it as a table and not as something like a huge plane to get to the bit of tea on it so that I can have some dinner if I'm an aunt. We see something very solid and unchanging and independent. And so we think that this table inherently exists as a table. Report an error in the passage at 57:25 Highlight the passage at 57:25

57:56 But we don't see the bare reality of everything. We see this sort of... This is like the story that whenever Venerable Rubina talks about, she says, you know, it's one thing if we could see sort of the naked reality of something. But we don't. We begin adding all these layers of story and exaggeration and embellishment on top of it. We project all this other stuff. And then we believe that to solidly exist that way. Report an error in the passage at 57:56 Highlight the passage at 57:56

58:25 And that's the root mistake that we've been making since beginningless time, according to the Buddha. Which is easy enough when you're talking about a table, because most of us don't get into too much trouble with a table. I mean, we might, I suppose, but most of our stuff comes up when we're talking about other people or our image of ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 58:25 Highlight the passage at 58:25

58:51 But it really, we do this with every single person, place or thing that we experience. And we're doing it all the time. We're doing it right now. You know, most of us are doing it right now as we're talking. This and the root of all of this starts with how we perceive ourself. Report an error in the passage at 58:51 Highlight the passage at 58:51

59:11 That's the root ignorance, actually. So if we're talking about ourself, this thing called I, which is what we're going to meditate on at the end of the class, and then also we'll spend this whole week meditating on this thing called I. We do exist as a composite of this body, which is this mass of flesh and bones and blood and all the various parts and so forth that make us up, that are constantly changing, constantly changing. Report an error in the passage at 59:11 Highlight the passage at 59:11

59:46 And mind, which is this sort of stream of consciousness of thoughts and feelings and emotions and perceptions. All these different mental events, so it's constantly changing also. We do exist like that. It's sort of come together at the time of our conception. And as soon as awareness can formulate the conscious or unconscious idea, It slaps this label of me or I on this. Not necessarily the word I, because we don't all speak English, including animals. Report an error in the passage at 59:46 Highlight the passage at 59:46

1:00:28 We all have this strong sense of I. But it's just this composite, this ever-changing composite of body and mind. And it's a temporary alliance that ends when the body of this life dies and the subtle most mind moves on into the next. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:28 Highlight the passage at 1:00:28

1:00:50 Life and body that we have created through our karma. So it's a very, very temporary, loose and very fluid and changing, ever-changing alliance. But that's not how we see it. So that I does exist. And that I continues as a continuum from life to life dependent upon... What kind of karma, all the different bodies that we have had and will have all the way to enlightenment. That I does exist, but that's not how we see it. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:50 Highlight the passage at 1:00:50

1:01:23 That's not the I that gets us into trouble, that kind of light, fluid, ever-changing I. The I that gets us into trouble is that solid existence. I am what I am. I do it like this. I've always done it like this. He's always like that because he was yesterday. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:23 Highlight the passage at 1:01:23

1:01:44 Seeing these really, really stark, unchanging, very solid and concrete versions of ourselves and other people, that's the way we tend to see it. And it's that ignorance that actually causes us to, grasping at that ignorance, I should say, not just seeing it, but grasping at that ignorance, that's what causes the whole 12 links. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:44 Highlight the passage at 1:01:44

1:02:11 That's the ignorance. It's not so much seeing it, but it's grasping at it as real, you know. And it's important to notice that this isn't something that we deliberately or even consciously do. We've just been doing it. It's the same way. It's the same way that we associate so strongly what our body is feeling with. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:11 Highlight the passage at 1:02:11

1:02:33 What our mind has to be feeling, right? It's just habit. It's like mental habit. So this is mental habit. Our minds have been doing this with everybody that we've ever had since beginning this time. So if I'm born as a fox, you know, I have that same solidity of thinking that I am me as this fox, you know, strongly and forever me. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:33 Highlight the passage at 1:02:33

1:03:00 It's just in this different body and environment. I had a fox mom and little fox littermates. I had a really strong experience in meditation one time where I saw myself as a fox, so that one stuck with me. but, but, um, Yeah, I mean, it's just as real. If you have a pet, you can look at their reality at that moment is they have the same minds as us. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:00 Highlight the passage at 1:03:00

1:03:25 They've had the same experience as us. We've been everything. They've been everything. And they just are trapped in this little cat body or this little dog body or big dog body in some people's houses. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:25 Highlight the passage at 1:03:25

1:03:38 But they are a living being and they have the same mind. And at that moment, they are... They're seeing their world through this cat mind and this cat environment and then cat identity. But they are also ever-changing and so forth. It's just this temporary alliance. And when that cat body dies and that mind moves on, who knows what kind of karma they created. They may be the next people at the center, you know. And it's like that with us. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:38 Highlight the passage at 1:03:38

1:04:04 We also don't know that we'll necessarily be human forever. And according to the teachings, it depends upon our karma a lot. Just like Venerable Urbina was talking about in that meditation, thinking about the karmic causes of this body, not just the physical causes. And so then we got into morality and the previous one who practiced morality and all of the causes and conditions for that practice of morality to be so successful to create my body. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:04 Highlight the passage at 1:04:04

1:04:33 So this I, the one that we... So now we're at this... point in our investigation of the emptiness of conditioned phenomena. We're starting to examine this one called I, me. And so it's useful to think this, the false I. So what we're trying to do is to examine the difference between the I that actually exists versus this. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:33 Highlight the passage at 1:04:33

1:05:05 False eye. I'm going to call it, for lack of a better word, I'm going to call it the false eye. The eye that we believe in 100%, but actually according to Buddhist teachings, doesn't exist that way. And this false eye, the one that we believe in a lot, pops up really strongly if we get angry or if we get really scared. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:05 Highlight the passage at 1:05:05

1:05:29 You know, like one time I almost got hit by a car. I remember out in front of SF General. And I remember it was I had just been studying emptiness and Buddhism, but emptiness for a couple of years. And I remember at that moment having this really strong awareness of I and then this really strong feeling of that's the one, that's the I. So if you've had an experience, a near-death experience, sometimes you can really see how strongly that I rises up. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:29 Highlight the passage at 1:05:29

1:06:01 I think anger also brings it up, which is one. One of the problems with anger, like that eye rises up so huge that you can't really see anything else or anyone else or think very clearly. Or if somebody accuses you of doing something or falsely accuses you of doing something. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be falsely if you're not very good at taking criticism like myself. If somebody just points out a fault. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:01 Highlight the passage at 1:06:01

1:06:27 That you don't necessarily like or something that you did that you feel sort of ashamed by or something, then that I can also rise up. So one of the assignments this week is to sort of look for that and try to figure out how you can find that sense of an I. Because the meditation that we're going to do is we're going to really try to suss out where is that I, or does that I exist? Report an error in the passage at 1:06:27 Highlight the passage at 1:06:27

1:06:55 But we're trying to look for this specific I, this Gakchak, this one that doesn't actually exist the way we think it exists. So it's not just looking at all, it's not looking at the identity of David Drabel. It's not looking at the identity of Chokyi, you know. These are simply temporary things of this life that are actual. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:55 Highlight the passage at 1:06:55

1:07:19 I mean, I am... Lobsang Chokyi to some degree. I was labeled that when I got ordained. My body was born in a certain place in time to a certain family and I took that name, identity and so forth. So those things are sort of actual things. That's not who we're trying to negate. We're not trying to negate that that human being who was born. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:19 Highlight the passage at 1:07:19

1:07:44 You know, in Fairfax, Virginia, a billion years ago, exists. That's not what we're trying to do. We're trying to actually look for this bigger than human eye, this eye that arises in this really kind of huge way when something happens like I'm falsely accused or criticized or get angry or nearly get hit by a car. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:44 Highlight the passage at 1:07:44

1:08:13 That sort of rears up and feels like it is permanent and solid and real. And the Buddha is saying, that I never existed. So we're trying to actually, it's almost like we have to bring up or dredge up this way that we think that we truly exist. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:13 Highlight the passage at 1:08:13

1:08:39 Independently of all other things, all other causes and conditions and all other people and all other experiences. And we believe in so strongly. So first we try to sort of bring up that I because what we're trying to do is to examine. We don't just take the Buddha's word for this. Oh yeah, it doesn't exist. That's cool. You know, I believe him. And I remember actually at this one retreat, Venema Rene, and I realized I was doing that. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:39 Highlight the passage at 1:08:39

1:09:05 To some extent, Venera Rene let us in this meditation on the eye. That was quite a powerful meditation for me. But part of it was that I realized I had been doing the meditation with just... Almost like going through lip service. It's like, yeah, it's not there, it's not there, it's not there. Okay, cool, it's not there. The Buddha's right. But that's not what the Buddha wants us to do. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:05 Highlight the passage at 1:09:05

1:09:32 The Buddha's like, you can't take my word for it, whether it's because you like me or because you think that that makes sense logically. It does make sense logically to some of us, but that's still not enough. We have to examine it ourselves and we have to actually have an experience of it or none of this is going to shift. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:32 Highlight the passage at 1:09:32

1:09:52 Again, this is not saying that we don't exist, that you don't exist, that nothing exists. That's not what it's saying. We definitely exist. There is this conventional interdependent self that experiences happiness and unhappiness and that works and studies and meditates and sleeps and gets sick. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:52 Highlight the passage at 1:09:52

1:10:19 We'll get enlightened. There is this continuum that is collecting all the various karmas and purifying and accumulating merit and so forth that will get enlightened. But that very ephemeral, constantly changing, fluid I or mental continuum is not what we usually grasp onto and think of as ourselves. You know? Um. . Report an error in the passage at 1:10:19 Highlight the passage at 1:10:19

1:10:50 And we have to learn to tell them apart because otherwise we'll be meditating on the wrong thing and we're not able to see the difference between the two and we're not able to then break the cycle because we're not meditating on the right thing. So this is hugely important when we do this meditation this week to actually try to tell the difference between these two eyes. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:50 Highlight the passage at 1:10:50

1:11:18 That exists in all of us, but also to really try to explore within the meditation. Don't just come to the same conclusion of the meditation because the conclusion is written for you. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:18 Highlight the passage at 1:11:18

1:11:33 It's like, okay, it doesn't exist. Okay, great. Now I can go back to class. Really try to explore what it is that doesn't exist the way we think it does and why. you know, so as we're doing this, this, um, Meditation on the I. Before I break for a break and also break for questions, I want to also talk about another set of two. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:33 Highlight the passage at 1:11:33

1:11:59 Last week we talked about the two truths, deceptive or what's called deceptive truth or conventional truth and ultimate truth. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:59 Highlight the passage at 1:11:59

1:12:09 There's another set of two that's often bandied about. It's called the two extremes. With the two truths, they were basically taking reality and dividing it into the way that ordinary beings versus Arya beings perceive reality. One is not true, but we think it's true. That's deceptive truth or conventional reality. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:09 Highlight the passage at 1:12:09

1:12:38 And then ultimate truth is really true. It is how things actually exist. And that's how those beings who have had a direct perception of emptiness all the way up to enlightened beings perceive reality. Enlightened beings are Arya beings too. So once you become an Arya being, you never stop being an Arya being. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:38 Highlight the passage at 1:12:38

1:13:02 An Arya being is just somebody who has had this direct perception of emptiness that we've been talking about and we'll talk more about as this course continues. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:02 Highlight the passage at 1:13:02

1:13:15 The two extremes are both wrong. They're both inaccurate assessments of reality. What we're trying to do is to... Navigate a path in between these two. And that's what Lama Tsongkhapa used to call the middle way. So sometimes we've heard this term middle way. With the two extremes, we're trying to avoid both extremes because they're both inaccurate. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:15 Highlight the passage at 1:13:15

1:13:43 So the two extremes are nihilism and eternalism. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:43 Highlight the passage at 1:13:43

1:13:51 Hey, if you're going to, are you going to join us? Yeah. Probably not so great because this is already the fourth class, so I already did a lot of lead in. So it's probably not so great. Yeah, Report an error in the passage at 1:13:51 Highlight the passage at 1:13:51

1:14:11 I think I think I've actually I asked sort of asked people not to join after the second class just because it can get confusing. And I think, yeah, if that's all right. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Sarah. I think. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:11 Highlight the passage at 1:14:11

1:14:25 Yeah, I've had a number of people that actually want to join the class on the third and the fourth weeks. I don't want it to get confusing for people and then have that confusion. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:25 Highlight the passage at 1:14:25

1:14:38 It's hard enough as it is if you're coming to all the classes or reading the notes. So it's nothing personal against people. But also if people miss too many classes, I think it just gets too confusing. So it's hard enough. So nihilism and eternalism. And, um, Report an error in the passage at 1:14:38 Highlight the passage at 1:14:38

1:14:54 Um... And nihilism, we talked about it in some of the early classes because people brought it up in their check-ins. Nihilism is thinking that, and this one happens a lot, if anybody decides to attend when Geshe-la is teaching on the ninth chapter of Shantideva, you're going to have a lot of debates between the various schools of philosophy of Buddhism. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:54 Highlight the passage at 1:14:54

1:15:21 And a lot of the lower schools... Get stuck with if things don't exist the way we think they exist, then they don't exist at all. And so this one keeps coming up a lot. So thinking that things don't exist at all is what's meant by nihilism in this case. I don't know what it is in Western philosophy because I haven't studied Western philosophy. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:21 Highlight the passage at 1:15:21

1:15:46 But the scary thing that happens when you start thinking that things don't exist at all, like, oh, well then that table doesn't exist at all. Oh, well then I, Chokyi, don't exist at all. Oh, well then, you know, karma doesn't exist at all. My mind doesn't exist at all. It starts, what ends up happening is that you just start negating everything to the point where you stop. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:46 Highlight the passage at 1:15:46

1:16:11 You think basically that karma doesn't function so it doesn't matter how we act and it doesn't matter what we do with our body, speech and mind. And the ultimate thing that you get out of teachings on emptiness and karma is that ultimately that is the only thing that does exist. It doesn't exist inherently. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:11 Highlight the passage at 1:16:11

1:16:31 but if. What we should get out of an understanding, any kind of an understanding of emptiness and karma is that that's the only thing that matters. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:31 Highlight the passage at 1:16:31

1:16:45 How we act is the only thing that matters. So how we deal with the different problems that come up in our lives, even though that may seem really small in this huge scope of getting enlightened, that's the only thing that's going to get us enlightened. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:45 Highlight the passage at 1:16:45

1:17:02 I have to remember this too when I'm getting pissed off at work, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:02 Highlight the passage at 1:17:02

1:17:10 How I respond, how, you know, what I do with my body, speech and my mind all the time, you know, not to get heavy about it because it is hard. It's hard to do it all the time and we screw up and we just start over again. All you can do. Because remember, this is like one year, two years, ten years out of limitless lifetimes. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:10 Highlight the passage at 1:17:10

1:17:33 So it's going to take a while. But absolutely everything does matter and we have to act according to the laws of karma because if everything is empty of existing from its own side and only exist interdependently, then in fact it's karma that creates that's going to allow us to become enlightened beings. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:33 Highlight the passage at 1:17:33

1:17:57 If we don't exist solidly... And independently, the way we think we do, how we act is definitely the only way that we're going to get enlightened. The other extreme is eternalism. They sometimes call it eternalism or materialism. And that's basically the way we think right now, which hasn't gotten us very far. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:57 Highlight the passage at 1:17:57

1:18:20 The belief that things exist the way they seem to, the way our senses tell us that they exist. That's eternalism. So there's these two extremes, nihilism and eternalism, and Lama Tsongkhapa is saying basically, it's not in the Buddha, is saying basically that neither reality is correct. Neither way of perceiving reality is correct. So what we're trying to do is to go somewhere in between the two. And we have to kind of understand what we're doing wrong. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:20 Highlight the passage at 1:18:20

1:18:58 You know, with either nihilism or eternalism. They actually call nihilism like a cliff, you know, when they're talking about it. It's like you can go too far, you know, you see, if you believe some of these teachings and you're like, okay, things, you know, eternalism, say it's the way I perceive reality. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:58 Highlight the passage at 1:18:58

1:19:20 And it is the way we see reality, unfortunately. You can say it all you want. So I'm like, okay, then I go too far off this edge. And that's the danger of the nihilism is that we can literally drop off that edge. And so we have to be really, really careful of that. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:20 Highlight the passage at 1:19:20

1:19:40 Lama Tsongkhapa and the Buddha and all these great masters keep cautioning us. It's more like when you're driving at first when you're learning how to drive. There's all these things you have to remember about looking over your shoulder. I remember learning how to drive and I was like, how am I going to be able to do all these things? Report an error in the passage at 1:19:40 Highlight the passage at 1:19:40

1:20:01 You know, it's like you have to, you know, especially if it's stick shift, right? So then you're doing all these other things, too. And you're like, you have to look back. Oh, yeah, I take my eyes off the road, you know. But once you get good at it. Then you're just sort of keeping it in the lane, right? And that's when we're driving and you're really driving and you're engaged and you're not trying to do all the other stuff that people do now when they drive. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:01 Highlight the passage at 1:20:01

1:20:23 You're just doing it. And that's what this will become for us. But at first it's kind of like we're veering over sometimes too far one way or the other. And that's what they're cautioning us. There is a path down the middle and that's what we want to stick with. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:23 Highlight the passage at 1:20:23

1:20:41 So that middle path or that middle way is getting it that things do exist. The table does exist. The pen does exist. I do exist. All of you do exist. We just don't exist in this solid way that we always experience things existing. Things arise only in dependence upon all of the various... The physical things that created them, but also all of the karmic causes for them to arise in this world for the perceiver who is perceiving them. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:41 Highlight the passage at 1:20:41

1:21:19 Because obviously a table doesn't have karma. A pen doesn't have karma. We're not talking about the things karma. We're talking about the perceiver's karma and how they experience them. So let's take some questions. And then take a break and then we're going to do this meditation looking for the eye and I want to allow a little bit of time for questions that might come up after that meditation too. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:19 Highlight the passage at 1:21:19

1:21:41 Questions on anything that I just said? Report an error in the passage at 1:21:41 Highlight the passage at 1:21:41

1:21:48 Everyone's like, what the hell? Wait, wait, talking stick? Report an error in the passage at 1:21:48 Highlight the passage at 1:21:48

1:21:57 I'm just curious, at some point we get to the discussion of generation of merit in this context? Yes. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:57 Highlight the passage at 1:21:57

1:22:10 Yeah, I mean it's actually all related there because karma, we talk about, were you here last week? Okay, yeah, we did talk a lot about karma last week, the negative creation for all the various things that are going wrong in our life as well as the positive creation of all the... All the good things, all the pleasurable experiences in our life, all of those are karmically created. Merit is simply positive karma that is headed towards enlightenment. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:10 Highlight the passage at 1:22:10

1:22:44 So every time I remember to dedicate my meditation in the morning or my work for the day or whatever to get enlightened for the benefit of all beings, then that's creating merit. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:44 Highlight the passage at 1:22:44

1:22:57 Being a nun. Actually, for the most part, is creating merit rather than just positive karma. I like that. But that comes with that discussion of how we create our reality by whatever karma we create due to the actions that we are choosing to do. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:57 Highlight the passage at 1:22:57

1:23:17 Once we know that there's a choice, instead of just blindly following our own subdued mind, which is kind of the way we've been doing it for a while. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:17 Highlight the passage at 1:23:17

1:23:28 I mean, if you guys are who you seem to be. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:28 Highlight the passage at 1:23:28

1:23:34 Other questions? Yeah, Alan. Oh, I just wanted to make a suggestion. If you want some really good nihilism in Western philosophy, go see No Exit at ACT. Is it a film? No, it's a play. Oh, a play. It's based on the play No Exit by Sartre. Yeah, yeah. Okay, that's right. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:34 Highlight the passage at 1:23:34

1:24:00 Quick question about the table-ness example. So the mind – I'm going to use a bad example. So those – you know those things, eddie pots. You know it's like an eddie pot where you put salt water in your nose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm just going to use this example because I wasn't familiar with them and someone's had that and I was like, what is it? Report an error in the passage at 1:24:00 Highlight the passage at 1:24:00

1:24:20 So my mind sees this and I'm trying to label it. I'm like, is it a teapot? Right, yeah. Is it – and you're kind of like stuck for a second. You're trying to – to apprehend something. Right. So then you use this concept, tableness, right? Does tableness, in my mind, there's a table. I'm not saying it's real, but suddenly I'm looking at the shape and I'm like, well, I'm not sure. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:20 Highlight the passage at 1:24:20

1:24:44 I know, this is a weird table. Is it an altar or is it a table? And then I apprehend a couple things and I go, no, you do something that shows it's a table. So now it's like I've labeled it, it's a table. We're going to get into that more in the... The three levels of dependency rising because that's getting into the highest level of the label. So I don't want to get too much in that. My only other question to just add on to that is, is that the same principle when you're talking about the I? Report an error in the passage at 1:24:44 Highlight the passage at 1:24:44

1:25:12 If the tableness is somehow labeled, and I'm saying does tableness exist, I'm saying it's somewhere there. It's exactly the same. Is that the same exact principle as the I? Yeah. But then what am I apprehending now? Like is it Morgan-ness? Report an error in the passage at 1:25:12 Highlight the passage at 1:25:12

1:25:30 Yes, in a way, in a way, yeah. It's this I-ness that we think exists in this certain way. We're trying to find that I-ness. But are you also saying... You're not actually apprehending it, but yeah, you're trying to find it and you're trying to find out where it exists because it feels like it exists in a certain way. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:30 Highlight the passage at 1:25:30

1:25:47 First, you have to remember what it feels like when it does rise up, right? And then you try to find out where it is that it seems to exist, you know? Because I know for me it always seems like it's always, I've always had this strong feeling that it's something up here, you know, peering out of these two eyeballs, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:25:47 Highlight the passage at 1:25:47

1:26:07 It's like these are like the, what do you call it, like headlights. And it's kind of like it's up there somewhere. I had this very strong feeling of that for a long time, you know. That's not true for all living beings. A lot of cultures believe that the mind is here, so they have this really strong sense of I here. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:07 Highlight the passage at 1:26:07

1:26:24 So you just examine it. How does it feel in your body? How does it feel like it exists first? And then you're trying to whittle away with logic how it couldn't actually be like that. Yeah, but you're looking for that Morgan-ness within Morgan. Yeah, that I-ness. But Morgan-ness sounds a little bit like somebody from the outside because I is me. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:24 Highlight the passage at 1:26:24

1:26:50 That's who, I mean. The rest of you guys, that's one thing, but me, that's who I know, me, I know the way I exist, right? And so that's what we're trying to get to the bottom of. And actually when you have a direct perception of emptiness, it is on the meditation of this self. That's what's going to cause all of our, the way we perceive reality as inherent existence, that's what's going to knock it down. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:50 Highlight the passage at 1:26:50

1:27:21 Because then the rest of it, then it's easier. I mean, at least from the Galupa point of view. Once we can get that I don't exist in that way, then it's much easier to get the tableness and all that other stuff, you know. And all of those afflicted states of mind that rely upon things existing inherently, they can just, it's like that bubble. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:21 Highlight the passage at 1:27:21

1:27:45 They just pop. They're just gone. It's not like we have to work at them at getting rid of them anymore. There's nothing for them to rely on. There's nothing for them to rest on. So then that's just gone. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:45 Highlight the passage at 1:27:45

1:27:57 But we start with this sense of ourselves because that's the one that gets us into trouble. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:57 Highlight the passage at 1:27:57

1:28:08 Susan? Yeah. So I was thinking about this generation of I by anger or by near-death experiences. So could that explain? Maybe it's not intended to explain anything, but could people's love of some people thrill-seeking near-death experiences to generate this high? Could be. Could be, or it could be just to generate this... Report an error in the passage at 1:28:08 Highlight the passage at 1:28:08

1:28:35 It's sort of almost like a sense of meaning too or something in an otherwise meaningless world, you know, depending upon what else they do with their life. But yeah, it could be to get a sense of that eye. It also could just be like to have, I don't know, it came up, we were discussing it at one point in one of the classes I was in. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:35 Highlight the passage at 1:28:35

1:28:59 I don't know if anybody else was in that class, and I can't now remember what we were discussing. It was the Tenzin Chokyi class, I think, and she had this theory about why people do these. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:59 Highlight the passage at 1:28:59

1:29:12 Oh, you know what? She was talking about it from the point of view, because often with those kind of thrill-seeking sports and so on, you have to stay really, really concentrated to stay alive. I actually just was reading that in New York Times. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:12 Highlight the passage at 1:29:12

1:29:29 Sunday, somebody was talking about how there are a lot of those kind of sports like rock climbing and things like that, that if you are not 100 % focused, then you could die. Trekking, I guess, is one too, or when you're climbing Mount Everest or something like that. And so that it requires you to stay 100 % focused. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:29 Highlight the passage at 1:29:29

1:29:56 And in our world, We're rarely that focused. And so it's sort of like what she was saying is it's too bad they just don't know that they could learn that without risking life and limb. They could actually just learn to concentrate deeply and get the same experience. And so that was her suggestion, which I thought was actually a good one from what I've heard of people that do sports like that. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:56 Highlight the passage at 1:29:56

1:30:19 But it's probably a combination of, I'm sure, adrenaline. Lynn, you know, and, and. That concentration that's needed. Who else? Anybody else? Anne? I Report an error in the passage at 1:30:19 Highlight the passage at 1:30:19

1:30:37 just had a simple question, which was internalism. So that was the belief that things are fixed. That things, yeah, exist the way they seem to exist, the way my eyes are telling me that they exist. I'm using eyes because we are really visual. So there's one side that's like everything's empty, nothing exists, I'll do whatever I want. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:37 Highlight the passage at 1:30:37

1:30:59 Right. you know Report an error in the passage at 1:30:59 Highlight the passage at 1:30:59

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:31:00 That's solid. It better stay solid. Right, right, right. Things look, and that's independent of me and that I didn't, you know, what I'm thinking about it and my karmic projections have nothing to do with that microphone and that, you know, the people in this room and my experience at the party and blah, blah. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:00 Highlight the passage at 1:31:00

1:31:19 You know, it's the way it was and, you know, if you had been there, you'd believe that too. You know, that sort of eternalism. Yeah. Phil has a question. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:19 Highlight the passage at 1:31:19

1:31:31 So I got a picture in my head of like when you were talking about this. So you're at like say like a boxing match and one guy wins and like everyone's like yeah and he's like I'm the best, I'm number one. And it's just this big huge illusion that everyone's involved in but everyone's enjoying it. As a Buddhist you're not like judging that good or bad. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:31 Highlight the passage at 1:31:31

1:31:54 I mean... You're just accepting it for what it is, you may enjoy it, you may not. How do you see that? So you're at a boxing match and one person... Or it could be anything, like a sports game, like the Giants game or something, they win. Like, yeah, I'm number one, whoever won the game. And I mean, that's just a big inflation of delusion or illusion and ego and self. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:54 Highlight the passage at 1:31:54

1:32:17 Yeah, well, I mean, there is this temporary moment where one team actually did beat the other team, right? So that conventionally, that did happen, you know, and my experiencing it, good or bad, is dependent upon my karma, right? So my karma with one team over the other team. But the very next day, that team... Report an error in the passage at 1:32:17 Highlight the passage at 1:32:17

1:32:38 I think one of the hugest illusions we have is calling our World Series the World Series when nobody else plays the sport. That one I think is sort of an illusion. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:38 Highlight the passage at 1:32:38

1:32:49 Or any of our, you know, the Super Bowl, it's like nobody else plays the sport. But yeah, I mean, we get all excited about it, but I don't think it necessarily means that we can't enjoy it when our team wins either. We just have to be realistic that it's just a sport and we can admire the different qualities that the different athletes have or something like that, but one team over the other is just karma. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:49 Highlight the passage at 1:32:49

1:33:21 At that particular moment, there's karma for the one team to win and the other team to lose, and that karma can shift again the very next day. So you just kind of can watch it with that sense of complexity. It's like, I, I won, me. You get that same relation. If you do get that, then that would be a chance to see that eye for the false eye arising. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:21 Highlight the passage at 1:33:21

1:33:46 Yeah, I don't really get that one, but that one, if you... Yeah, that's why I just said boxing, because I don't know. The more physical, I think the more adrenaline, the more like... Well, you saw it a lot when, after 9-1-1, right? At first, after 9-1-1, people responded with shock and, you know, grief, you know, which were fairly, that made sense. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:46 Highlight the passage at 1:33:46

1:34:08 And then all this anger began to arise, and then that sort of like, you know, all that stuff. And I remember Rinpoche... He was cautioning us all really carefully. He was like, be really careful because the karma that we create, even by just wanting to bomb the hell out of anybody, even if we aren't the ones bombing them, we create the same exact karma. Report an error in the passage at 1:34:08 Highlight the passage at 1:34:08

1:34:31 So cheering them on, we can create the same exact karma. And believing that that's all so fixed and real. Afghanistan really had nothing to do with it either. So then there was this whole other thing and everyone's thinking that somehow that's, you know, that's good and that's inherently... That's part of the eternalism. Yeah, that's totally the eternalism. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then that's not even entirely true because at one, you know, at one point at that moment we had been victimized and if... Report an error in the passage at 1:34:31 Highlight the passage at 1:34:31

1:35:08 Politics have played a different role than our whole play on the world stage. What could have been different, you know, again, potentially. And, you know, there had been different times in history that America hasn't been so horrifying. I'm getting off into a whole different tangent. Hopefully nobody in the room is, like, too conservative in their political outlook. But anyway, it's not that we are inherently anything. Report an error in the passage at 1:35:08 Highlight the passage at 1:35:08

1:35:32 We just have karma arising and stuff like that. But, yeah, you can get really... Sometimes I think it's useful to look at all the ways that I identify myself as an example and so strongly believe that I'm like a woman. That's a good example for me. I really strongly identify as a woman. But why? I could have been a man in the last life and could be one next life, you know? There's nothing to say I couldn't. Report an error in the passage at 1:35:32 Highlight the passage at 1:35:32

1:35:56 So what is so, you know? So it's just kind of like looking at the various things that we think about. Maybe I identify really strongly as a sister or maybe I identify really strongly as a, you know, you might identify as a son or, you know, whatever it is, some angle of your identity you can kind of look at. Report an error in the passage at 1:35:56 Highlight the passage at 1:35:56

1:36:13 And that... That changes over time. I really strongly identified as a daughter. Well, I'm no longer a daughter. I don't have any parents living. I don't have any grandparents living anymore. So it's like, then what happens to identity? That was just an ephemeral thing based on causes and conditions, and then it just went out of existence. What does that mean for my identity? Report an error in the passage at 1:36:13 Highlight the passage at 1:36:13

1:36:33 So just playing with that a little bit can be quite useful, too. It's just, you know, like what do we identify strongly as? Thinking about if causes and conditions had changed, you know. I don't feel so strongly American, but yet I remember living in England, the way that you, the certain, there was like a certain easygoingness about being an American that I missed, you know, it's like... Report an error in the passage at 1:36:33 Highlight the passage at 1:36:33

1:36:58 Oh, for God's sakes, you know, just relax a little bit, you know, and just go get, you know, something sloppy to eat or something, you know, like it's everything had to be just so, you know, and it's just, you know, how, you know, the way things were done and I began to sort of rebel against that. And I think that sort of rebellion. Report an error in the passage at 1:36:58 Highlight the passage at 1:36:58

1:37:14 That's a positive American quality. I think that kind of easygoingness is a positive American quality. So just examining a little the ways that we identify ourselves so strongly in our own minds and then analyzing it and then seeing that none of that is strong or forever solid or unchanging. It's all dependent on causes and conditions. That's all. Katya. I'm just having trouble sort of even imagining what it would be like to really have this realization because you still I mean you still have to treat the table of the table and yeah you're still you know so how do you through life really kind of feeling that I think from what I understand, I think it must be really blissful, actually, because you no longer buy into the stuff that's been causing you problems all the way along. Report an error in the passage at 1:37:14 Highlight the passage at 1:37:14

1:38:15 I think it must be a little bit like, you know, when parents are watching their kids on the playground and they're no longer part of the way the kids are fighting over stuff and think it's all so real and really have to get that quarter to go get the ice cream man. And that was my big thing. I want the quarter to go get the ice cream man. You know, and it's so big and it's so real and you no longer buy into that, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:38:15 Highlight the passage at 1:38:15

1:38:42 So it doesn't mean that you're looking at that. That actually can give you compassion because we create so much suffering. So you're looking around you and you're seeing that people are buying into this 100%, never even questioning it. And you're seeing it and you're free of that to some extent. You still see it, but when you're in the state of deep meditation on your cushion, you... Report an error in the passage at 1:38:42 Highlight the passage at 1:38:42

1:39:06 No longer buy into that at all because you see it with your own eyes. I'm saying it with your eyes. It's your mental eyes. You've experienced reality as it is, so you no longer buy into it at all. So that doubt, any kind of hesitation is gone. So your experience of reality is, I think, blissful. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:06 Highlight the passage at 1:39:06

1:39:31 You no longer cling and grasp. Push away 100 % if you feel aversion. You no longer have that reaction to things. Unfortunately, you still have some getting used to it time. You still have time that you have to bring in concordance how you experience reality. You have to bring it into concordance with that experience on meditation. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:31 Highlight the passage at 1:39:31

1:40:02 But you no longer believe the way you see it with your own eyes. And so I think it's blissful because that's gone. That's gone. That's what I think. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:02 Highlight the passage at 1:40:02

1:40:17 And actually we were talking about this after class that there is a teaching that says that for people who have a lot of merit when you're doing these meditations on the eye, you do feel a lot of bliss. When you're seeking the I and you realize that I is not there the way you solidly thought it was, there's this feeling of release, liberation. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:17 Highlight the passage at 1:40:17

1:40:46 For some, and of course it's not necessarily like some people have one and some people have another. You can have both experiences, depending. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:46 Highlight the passage at 1:40:46

1:40:57 There are also times that you're having an experience in meditation that you can have some fear arise because it's almost like you're leaning on a guardrail and all of a sudden you realize a guardrail doesn't exist. And there's this like, whoa, whoa, what's that all about, you know? And so there's that kind of feeling of like, you know, whoa. It's almost physical, you know? Report an error in the passage at 1:40:57 Highlight the passage at 1:40:57

1:41:23 And they say that's really normal too. And that's okay and you have to develop this courage to just keep pushing through. Because Lama Zopa Rinpoche says that we may not have the conditions to meditate deeply on emptiness again in this lifetime or in other lifetimes for a long time. So don't lose it if we're so close. There have been stories of people that have gotten really close to realizing emptiness and freak themselves out. Report an error in the passage at 1:41:23 Highlight the passage at 1:41:23

1:41:55 So Rinpoche says, if that happens, just keep going. Just keep going one foot in front of the other. Just keep moving towards it because it may be lifetimes before we have another opportunity again. So having either or both experiences of that blissfulness or that fear arising is okay. It's okay. And I think we've also discussed how do you get that courage to move through that. I think it comes from bodhicitta. Report an error in the passage at 1:41:55 Highlight the passage at 1:41:55

1:42:25 I think it's remembering again in the context why do we want to directly perceive emptiness. It's not just to remove our own faults alone and our own suffering alone. We have to remember it's in the context of this compassion for all living beings to help them remove their suffering and pain as well. Report an error in the passage at 1:42:25 Highlight the passage at 1:42:25

1:42:48 So it's within that same context. All the time reminding ourselves, you know, before we sit down to meditate, when we dedicate, at the end of the day. Because otherwise we can get really caught up with just whatever the experience is of our own meditation or like that, all the philosophy and stuff and get lost. Report an error in the passage at 1:42:48 Highlight the passage at 1:42:48

1:43:10 So they say keep it moistened with the moisture of bodhicitta because otherwise you can get dry and intellectual and kind of stuffy, you know, and self-centered. Report an error in the passage at 1:43:10 Highlight the passage at 1:43:10

1:43:24 Let's take a break. Let's take a break. Report an error in the passage at 1:43:24 Highlight the passage at 1:43:24

1:43:36 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you don't have to. Okay, or you can just bring it next time. That's cool. Are you sure? Report an error in the passage at 1:43:36 Highlight the passage at 1:43:36

1:43:49 Yeah, yeah. But it's only, we only have like 15 minutes, so we can't take as long a break as I thought, so that's okay. No, no, no. I totally forgot. I mean, I thought about it at one point during the week. I was happy about it, but people will still have clashes. Don't worry. Actually, I'm going to drink this. I'm dry. Report an error in the passage at 1:43:49 Highlight the passage at 1:43:49

1:44:25 I'm going to have to kick her out. That would be third class. I don't know. I think we're going to have to sit in a circle and put you in the middle and chant. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:25 Highlight the passage at 1:44:25

1:44:37 You can bring them tomorrow night, and then I will have them. See, there's always an answer that will allow you to actually take a break right now rather than running somewhere to do something else. I think that sounds like a better idea. Chant. Yeah, you know, it's going to be debates. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:37 Highlight the passage at 1:44:37

1:44:54 Okay, thank Sorry. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:54 Highlight the passage at 1:44:54

1:45:06 I think this is a good example, though. The first time anybody saw this, you know, it's like, is that really a table? Report an error in the passage at 1:45:06 Highlight the passage at 1:45:06

1:45:31 Right, yeah, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:45:31 Highlight the passage at 1:45:31

1:45:36 But what you're actually trying to do is to look at something anew, something that you look at all the time, like a cup. Because it's something that you see all the time that you think exists in such an inherent way that you never even question it, you know. Thank you. Report an error in the passage at 1:45:36 Highlight the passage at 1:45:36

1:46:15 getting too deep in the idea of deconstructing particles. Right, right, right. Right, Report an error in the passage at 1:46:15 Highlight the passage at 1:46:15

1:46:33 right. and chairs, so what is it that's creating that . if you can see it coming out, it's easier to take it back on. Right, right. Yeah. Because otherwise, what you're doing is . People have a very hard time deconstructing the conception that's still there. Could, but not necessarily all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:46:33 Highlight the passage at 1:46:33

1:46:46 Different people. Yeah, yeah. But sometimes I think it's really quite useful to look at something that you look at every single day and to think about its mode of existence for the first time. Or to have, I mean, or like Morgan was saying, because so many of us, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:46:46 Highlight the passage at 1:46:46

1:47:06 Haven't had that experience for a long time of learning what something is. When you go to another country, you do. Or when you're learning a new language, you might. Like if somebody came to America from another country as an adult. Then they had that existence. Probably there are things in America that they might not have had in their home country. But seeing it for the first time, or even when we're here for a long time, I call these puja tables, and I think of them as self-existent puja tables. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:06 Highlight the passage at 1:47:06

1:47:38 Well, they're just Bed Bath & Beyond bed tables for sick people as far as the rest of the world is concerned. But even at an event I'll be like, go get the puja tables, and people will be like... You know, I'd be like, they are inherently existent puja tables. Because I don't see them any other way. And in fact, even if I do see them at somebody else's house, I'm like, there's a puja table, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:38 Highlight the passage at 1:47:38

1:47:59 You use a puja table in bed. Right. It's very funny that way. The movie The Guts Must Be Right. We talked about that last week. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's only funny because we see that Coke bottle is inherently an existing Coke bottle. Yeah. You know, otherwise none of the jokes work. She talked about who is it. Someone, I don't know if it's Lama Zopa, someone like saw the movie and they were, rather than kind of laughing at it, they were, the whole time they were going. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:59 Highlight the passage at 1:47:59

1:48:29 Right. Right. It's just like, you know, well, yeah, we're doing that with everything. I know, I know, I know. are you? I'm good. good. I've missed two Report an error in the passage at 1:48:29 Highlight the passage at 1:48:29

1:48:45 Can you email me and I can send you the notes of the classes that you missed? If you email me, then I'll do that. Report an error in the passage at 1:48:45 Highlight the passage at 1:48:45

1:48:56 Oh, I just create a new one every time. So are you on this? Report an error in the passage at 1:48:56 Highlight the passage at 1:48:56

1:49:05 No, but you did. No, so. Yeah, I'm trying to be sort of strict on this one just because of the subject matter. It's a little bit confusing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:49:05 Highlight the passage at 1:49:05

1:49:27 That's right. I'll just kick you out like I did poor Sarah. I have to talk to Sarah. I feel bad. But she hasn't had any background in Buddhism, so I just didn't want to risk anything. She just moved into the house, so I'm like, oh. I can understand that, and I'll take your advice on it, know. Yeah, yeah. Because I certainly don't Report an error in the passage at 1:49:27 Highlight the passage at 1:49:27

1:49:33 That's Report an error in the passage at 1:49:33 Highlight the passage at 1:49:33

1:49:42 Yeah, I don't want to risk anything. I have that karma. I'll have the karma of carrying all of your minds with me. Report an error in the passage at 1:49:42 Highlight the passage at 1:49:42

1:49:59 Right. so Report an error in the passage at 1:49:59 Highlight the passage at 1:49:59

1:49:59 It's okay. know, while you're talking, it's not a student you didn't care. It's not a student. It's not a student. Right. It's a different pattern. Somebody finally said, is there anything wrong with being hard with them? All right. She had looked beautiful. But it was interesting. You could hear a bit of a sigh. Right. Right. For some people. Report an error in the passage at 1:49:59 Highlight the passage at 1:49:59

1:50:24 Actually though, Venerable Rubina said one time, I think it was in Australia, there was a talk on self-cherishing and this woman showed up because she thought it was something that was positive. Because it sounds so nice, right, cherishing, you know, that word is so pretty, you know. No, thank Report an error in the passage at 1:50:24 Highlight the passage at 1:50:24

1:50:59 you. Report an error in the passage at 1:50:59 Highlight the passage at 1:50:59

1:51:20 No, thank you. Report an error in the passage at 1:51:20 Highlight the passage at 1:51:20

1:51:26 No, I like it too. Like learning to take care of ourselves or something like that. Report an error in the passage at 1:51:26 Highlight the passage at 1:51:26

1:51:16 you like a carrot? No, thank you. Would you like a string Report an error in the passage at 1:51:16 Highlight the passage at 1:51:16

1:51:28 No, I like that too. Uh-oh, does it drive Susan crazy? Oh, she can't stand it. The emptiness of the crunch. Report an error in the passage at 1:51:28 Highlight the passage at 1:51:28

1:51:47 Gina's putting her carrots away. It does have a satisfying crunch. Report an error in the passage at 1:51:47 Highlight the passage at 1:51:47

1:51:57 Oh, Report an error in the passage at 1:51:57 Highlight the passage at 1:51:57

1:52:01 no, you can't. You have to hold it. Then you have to just focus on it. It'll be my new visualization of Bajo Asad. of Verizon. Right? Right? Report an error in the passage at 1:52:01 Highlight the passage at 1:52:01

1:52:13 Goes out of the crown of your head. We're running out of time to do the meditation. Quick, David, go use the toilet. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:52:13 Highlight the passage at 1:52:13

1:52:28 I'm going to wait until he's halfway down the hall. Run, David, run. Report an error in the passage at 1:52:28 Highlight the passage at 1:52:28

1:52:37 David's talking. Report an error in the passage at 1:52:37 Highlight the passage at 1:52:37

1:52:43 David's looking at books. He's not using the toilet. David got distracted. Report an error in the passage at 1:52:43 Highlight the passage at 1:52:43

1:52:59 What are you sorry about? No, no. You have a life, aren't I? that? Report an error in the passage at 1:52:59 Highlight the passage at 1:52:59

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:53:08 I do have a question actually. This is like a really kind of a mundane question. Report an error in the passage at 1:53:08 Highlight the passage at 1:53:08

1:53:16 Does anyone work in an office that has like, no, no, did you get to go to the bathroom now? David, go because I'm asking a mundane question so quick. Go, go, go. on. You know? No, no, it was, like, revised and stuff. Oh, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:53:16 Highlight the passage at 1:53:16

1:53:33 Does anyone work in an office where they have access to a regular printer where you put a pile of papers on it and it just goes and then it's all copied? Collates is just big and it does all that? Report an error in the passage at 1:53:33 Highlight the passage at 1:53:33

1:53:44 Yes. Can anybody raise their hand if they could make a copy of something for me? Report an error in the passage at 1:53:44 Highlight the passage at 1:53:44

1:53:56 I might be you if you're able to because you already have. It's the bodhisattva vows, the binder that I've created for you guys. I want one too. How long Report an error in the passage at 1:53:56 Highlight the passage at 1:53:56

1:54:04 And all I have is some, you know, Report an error in the passage at 1:54:04 Highlight the passage at 1:54:04

1:54:10 no, well I do, I do, I do. But you have, exactly. Report an error in the passage at 1:54:10 Highlight the passage at 1:54:10

1:54:19 You just set it in there and there you go. That's what I would like. Thank you. Thank you so much, Jessica. Report an error in the passage at 1:54:19 Highlight the passage at 1:54:19

1:54:29 Thank you. Report an error in the passage at 1:54:29 Highlight the passage at 1:54:29

1:54:34 Okay, so we have run out of time. we're working today. Report an error in the passage at 1:54:34 Highlight the passage at 1:54:34

1:54:41 But I'm going to still try to just buzz you guys through this, just to have some experience of it, because otherwise. That's right. Report an error in the passage at 1:54:41 Highlight the passage at 1:54:41

1:54:52 I hope everybody got some coffee. That's right. So then you can just check it off. You know you've done it today. It's all right. Yeah. We're going to try. We'll do it. We're going to do a shortened version of it. If people need to leave, if there's anybody that needs to leave, Eleanor has the homework, so just grab it on your way out the door. Report an error in the passage at 1:54:52 Highlight the passage at 1:54:52

1:55:18 No, because people sit there and read it instead of having the experience of meditation. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:55:18 Highlight the passage at 1:55:18

1:55:25 I know. I'll say one word that you don't understand or something, and you'll be like, what? Where is she? Oh, my God. Look how much longer we have. Panic will be happening. Report an error in the passage at 1:55:25 Highlight the passage at 1:55:25

1:55:39 Okay, so we're not going to do the introduction. But remember that the basic idea of this meditation is to try to seek out this I that we think exists in a certain way. And once we've found it, then bombard it with all the reasons that it couldn't possibly exist that way. So. Report an error in the passage at 1:55:39 Highlight the passage at 1:55:39

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:56:09 So it's sort of like a, this is the true meaning of an analytical meditation. And then once we have the experience of that realization, then to allow ourselves to stay with that emptiness, the absence of existence in the way that we think something exists. So we're trying to have some experience of that absence of something existent in the way we think it exists. Report an error in the passage at 1:56:09 Highlight the passage at 1:56:09

1:56:40 The real I does exist. It exists in this sort of fluid, spacious, changing all the time, moment by moment way that our mind tries to fix as solid. Report an error in the passage at 1:56:40 Highlight the passage at 1:56:40

1:57:00 So you might want to think about a time when this I arose really strongly for you. Maybe you were accused of something, criticized, got angry at someone. Report an error in the passage at 1:57:00 Highlight the passage at 1:57:00

1:57:23 Had a near-death experience of some sort. Somebody almost hit you while you were on your bike or walking or you were in a car. Somebody swerved and came really close to hitting you, the way that I arises. Report an error in the passage at 1:57:23 Highlight the passage at 1:57:23

1:57:44 And try to go back to that experience and think about how that I seems to exist, how it appears to you. Report an error in the passage at 1:57:44 Highlight the passage at 1:57:44

1:58:02 Is it something that exists independently or concretely, in its own right, out there somehow? Report an error in the passage at 1:58:02 Highlight the passage at 1:58:02

1:58:13 Does it feel like it's a creation of your mind? Report an error in the passage at 1:58:13 Highlight the passage at 1:58:13

1:58:25 And the first part of the meditation is examining if it exists in your body. So spending some time looking for this eye. Report an error in the passage at 1:58:25 Highlight the passage at 1:58:25

1:58:38 Is it in your head looking out of your eye holes? Report an error in the passage at 1:58:38 Highlight the passage at 1:58:38

1:58:45 Is it in your heart? Report an error in the passage at 1:58:45 Highlight the passage at 1:58:45

1:58:55 Is it in one of the limbs of your body? Is it your whole body? Report an error in the passage at 1:58:55 Highlight the passage at 1:58:55

1:59:07 Can you find that eye somewhere in your body? Report an error in the passage at 1:59:07 Highlight the passage at 1:59:07

1:59:23 And you take some time to examine all the parts of your body one by one, thinking about if the eye exists in any part of your body, even down to the subtlest level. Report an error in the passage at 1:59:23 Highlight the passage at 1:59:23

1:59:49 And then once again trying to summon up that eye and seeing if it exists in the same way that it did at the beginning of the meditation, as vivid, as solid, as real. Report an error in the passage at 1:59:49 Highlight the passage at 1:59:49

2:00:19 And then you go into examining whether or not maybe this I that I think of so strongly as me, maybe it's my mind. And Report an error in the passage at 2:00:19 Highlight the passage at 2:00:19

2:00:34 what part of the mind? The mind is also just made up of all these parts, thoughts and feelings, changing all the time. Report an error in the passage at 2:00:34 Highlight the passage at 2:00:34

2:00:47 So what part of the mind does the I reside in? Report an error in the passage at 2:00:47 Highlight the passage at 2:00:47

2:01:01 The mind is just a label slapped onto this ever-changing stream of thoughts. Mental experiences. And Report an error in the passage at 2:01:01 Highlight the passage at 2:01:01

2:01:32 if you can't find the I within your mind or your body, is there some other place that you could find it existing some other way? Report an error in the passage at 2:01:32 Highlight the passage at 2:01:32

2:01:49 Is it inside of you or outside of you or both? Does it change? If you think about this I, if you're accused, I didn't do that. Report an error in the passage at 2:01:49 Highlight the passage at 2:01:49

2:02:03 Does it fill you up? Does it fill the room up? How does that feel? Report an error in the passage at 2:02:03 Highlight the passage at 2:02:03

2:02:30 And come back again to the way that your eye actually appears to you. Do you notice any change in it after looking for it, trying to see if it's real? Report an error in the passage at 2:02:30 Highlight the passage at 2:02:30

2:02:50 Does it feel as solid, Report an error in the passage at 2:02:50 Highlight the passage at 2:02:50

2:02:55 as independent? Report an error in the passage at 2:02:55 Highlight the passage at 2:02:55

2:03:17 Take a moment to mentally disintegrate your body. Imagine all the atoms separating and floating out into space, billions and billions of minute particles. Report an error in the passage at 2:03:17 Highlight the passage at 2:03:17

2:03:31 Scattering in all directions. Imagine that you can actually see this. Report an error in the passage at 2:03:31 Highlight the passage at 2:03:31

2:03:44 Disintegrate your mind, all the thoughts and feelings, perceptions all floating away. Report an error in the passage at 2:03:44 Highlight the passage at 2:03:44

2:03:58 And try to stay in this experience of open space. And Report an error in the passage at 2:03:58 Highlight the passage at 2:03:58

2:04:13 then every time you get distracted again, you just begin the analysis. Report an error in the passage at 2:04:13 Highlight the passage at 2:04:13

2:04:23 And again, not to get distracted by this thought, if Report an error in the passage at 2:04:23 Highlight the passage at 2:04:23

2:04:36 my body isn't the I and my mind isn't the I, then I don't exist. That's not what the Buddha is saying. You do exist. Report an error in the passage at 2:04:36 Highlight the passage at 2:04:36

2:04:52 The self exists as this temporary alliance between the body and the mind. Report an error in the passage at 2:04:52 Highlight the passage at 2:04:52