Discovering Buddhism - Mind and Its Potential (20 November 2008)

0:00 Start with your frustrations and just remembering that when we do the frustrations, it's eliminating pride, which is useful. Report an error in the passage at 0:00 Highlight the passage at 0:00

0:16 It's also, but the main thing is just remembering that we're honoring or bowing down. Report an error in the passage at 0:16 Highlight the passage at 0:16

0:25 I like to start out with one and just think about one, especially if there's like an area that I really, Report an error in the passage at 0:25 Highlight the passage at 0:25

0:35 oh, I would really love to have time. So I'm going to bow down to that quality. So there's that element of respect, but then also. Report an error in the passage at 0:35 Highlight the passage at 0:35

0:55 Om Namo Manjushri E Namo Report an error in the passage at 0:55 Highlight the passage at 0:55

1:03 how much it is Report an error in the passage at 1:03 Highlight the passage at 1:03

1:07 Namo Namo Sushriye, Namo Shriye, Soho. Om Namo Manjushri E, Namo Sushri Namo Bhutthama Shri E. Hey Report an error in the passage at 1:07 Highlight the passage at 1:07

1:47 Tony. Report an error in the passage at 1:47 Highlight the passage at 1:47

1:50 Smiling face in the back row. Ain't nobody else here. Report an error in the passage at 1:50 Highlight the passage at 1:50

2:04 I'm going to start with the meditation. It's the same one that you guys have been doing. I'm going to try it again. Pick out a new person. Pick out a new trio. So just let yourself let go of your day. Let go of what you might still do today. Report an error in the passage at 2:04 Highlight the passage at 2:04

2:27 And just dissolve it away with your breath. So dissolve. The work that's been absorbing you or the study, whatever you've been doing with your day-to-day. Report an error in the passage at 2:27 Highlight the passage at 2:27

2:47 Dissolve away your sluggishness, your tiredness, your dullness. Report an error in the passage at 2:47 Highlight the passage at 2:47

2:59 Dissolve away all your distractions. Report an error in the passage at 2:59 Highlight the passage at 2:59

3:09 And bring in instead with all your in-breaths, alertness, awakeness, presence. And Report an error in the passage at 3:09 Highlight the passage at 3:09

3:26 just bring yourself more and more into this room with your breath. And Report an error in the passage at 3:26 Highlight the passage at 3:26

3:59 then just bring to mind three people. Report an error in the passage at 3:59 Highlight the passage at 3:59

4:05 Somebody that you feel happy when you think of them, and we'll call that person your friend. Report an error in the passage at 4:05 Highlight the passage at 4:05

4:18 Somebody that brings annoyance up when we think of them, we'll Report an error in the passage at 4:18 Highlight the passage at 4:18

4:26 call that person the enemy. Doesn't mean they have to be your arch enemy. Report an error in the passage at 4:26 Highlight the passage at 4:26

4:35 And somebody you know either like or dislike, but somebody you know a little something about. Report an error in the passage at 4:35 Highlight the passage at 4:35

4:52 And first start with your friend. Report an error in the passage at 4:52 Highlight the passage at 4:52

4:57 First notice how it seems like this friendness about this person seems to arise from them, not from you. Report an error in the passage at 4:57 Highlight the passage at 4:57

5:17 Think about how much you want this person to be happy, how Report an error in the passage at 5:17 Highlight the passage at 5:17

5:24 all these good feelings arise in you when you think about that person. Then Report an error in the passage at 5:24 Highlight the passage at 5:24

5:41 think about the stranger, the person you don't know very well. Report an error in the passage at 5:41 Highlight the passage at 5:41

5:53 Notice how indifferent you are about them, Report an error in the passage at 5:53 Highlight the passage at 5:53

6:06 how because there's no perceived benefit, Report an error in the passage at 6:06 Highlight the passage at 6:06

6:13 you neither like nor dislike them. You feel indifferent toward them. It's almost like you're bored by them. Report an error in the passage at 6:13 Highlight the passage at 6:13

6:27 It's even harder to remember the details about what they look like. Report an error in the passage at 6:27 Highlight the passage at 6:27

6:45 And now think about the enemy, this person who you find challenging, maybe somebody you work with or live with, somebody who annoys you or even somebody that's harmed you in some way. Report an error in the passage at 6:45 Highlight the passage at 6:45

7:09 Just look at them carefully and look at your own feelings as they arise, Report an error in the passage at 7:09 Highlight the passage at 7:09

7:26 the way you don't want to be in the presence of this person. If you saw this person coming towards you, you'd probably head another direction or at least become more guarded. Report an error in the passage at 7:26 Highlight the passage at 7:26

7:52 And again, that feeling seems to come from them. It doesn't seem to come from us. It's almost like anybody in the world could look at this person and see enemy, see annoying person. Report an error in the passage at 7:52 Highlight the passage at 7:52

8:16 With your friend, be honest. Think about how much of your love is actually attachment to them, Report an error in the passage at 8:16 Highlight the passage at 8:16

8:27 some sort of perceived benefit from them. Report an error in the passage at 8:27 Highlight the passage at 8:27

8:44 Love is defined in Buddhism as wanting the happiness of another. But usually there's some feeling that we want. Their happiness to somehow be based in our happiness. We want them to be happy only in our presence. Report an error in the passage at 8:44 Highlight the passage at 8:44

9:04 If they find their happiness with somebody else, then we don't love them anymore. Report an error in the passage at 9:04 Highlight the passage at 9:04

9:21 If this person in front of you has helped you over and over for many years and then suddenly they do something to harm you, how quickly do we change them from friend to enemy? Report an error in the passage at 9:21 Highlight the passage at 9:21

9:44 Imagine it with this person. Imagine this person that you love so much suddenly doing something that harms you or upsets you and Report an error in the passage at 9:44 Highlight the passage at 9:44

10:01 somehow the relationship ends. Report an error in the passage at 10:01 Highlight the passage at 10:01

10:10 So where is that label friend now? Report an error in the passage at 10:10 Highlight the passage at 10:10

10:28 This person wasn't your friend when you first met and they could easily stop being your friend. This happens. Report an error in the passage at 10:28 Highlight the passage at 10:28

10:42 Our logic isn't always the most sound reasoning when we label people friends. Report an error in the passage at 10:42 Highlight the passage at 10:42

10:52 It's not to stop loving people, it's just to examine, just to look at our minds, how our minds work. Report an error in the passage at 10:52 Highlight the passage at 10:52

11:03 Relationships definitely change over time. Report an error in the passage at 11:03 Highlight the passage at 11:03

11:09 Think about all the friends you had when you were kids. Report an error in the passage at 11:09 Highlight the passage at 11:09

11:16 Some of them seem like they would be your friends forever. Now Report an error in the passage at 11:16 Highlight the passage at 11:16

11:33 look at your enemy, Report an error in the passage at 11:33 Highlight the passage at 11:33

11:38 this person that causes aversion to arise when you see them. Report an error in the passage at 11:38 Highlight the passage at 11:38

11:51 We definitely need patience on the path, so you can be grateful that this person allows you to practice patience. Report an error in the passage at 11:51 Highlight the passage at 11:51

12:06 And it's true, without anger in our mind, we can't have enemies. Without aversion in our minds, we can't push people away. It's our mind that does it. Report an error in the passage at 12:06 Highlight the passage at 12:06

12:28 When we hate somebody or get angry with somebody, it just destroys the peace in our mind. It doesn't really hurt them. Report an error in the passage at 12:28 Highlight the passage at 12:28

12:42 And if somebody is acting unskillfully out of anger, confusion, ignorance, then that means they're suffering. So to hate them... Isn't the logical response. Developing compassion for them is more logical. Their mind is out of control. They want to be happy, but they're suffering. So having compassion is the only response that benefits both of our minds. Report an error in the passage at 12:42 Highlight the passage at 12:42

13:29 And think about how if they were our enemy for a really long time, and then suddenly they do something kind, how quickly it can all change. Report an error in the passage at 13:29 Highlight the passage at 13:29

13:44 How suddenly an icy relationship can thaw really quickly. Just with a warm smile, an act of kindness. Report an error in the passage at 13:44 Highlight the passage at 13:44

13:59 So imagine one. Report an error in the passage at 13:59 Highlight the passage at 13:59

14:05 Imagine this enemy becoming a friend. Report an error in the passage at 14:05 Highlight the passage at 14:05

14:32 And now think about that stranger. Somebody you see on the street or in your daily life, in your building, but you just don't know well. Maybe even somebody in this class. Report an error in the passage at 14:32 Highlight the passage at 14:32

14:54 We have this fixed idea that they don't mean anything to us just because they don't at this exact moment. But that can change very quickly. Report an error in the passage at 14:54 Highlight the passage at 14:54

15:08 So think about what you might know about them. Report an error in the passage at 15:08 Highlight the passage at 15:08

15:17 Maybe you know something about their family being very far away. Maybe they come from the same town as you. Report an error in the passage at 15:17 Highlight the passage at 15:17

15:29 Maybe you know that they're suffering from some pain or illness. And even if you don't, imagine that you know something about them. Something human, something that breaks them down. Breaks down that solid fixed label of stranger. Report an error in the passage at 15:29 Highlight the passage at 15:29

15:56 Or imagine them doing something really kind for you and suddenly becoming a friend. Report an error in the passage at 15:56 Highlight the passage at 15:56

16:08 If you're buying a coffee, they remember your name and let you go first. Report an error in the passage at 16:08 Highlight the passage at 16:08

16:17 Or maybe they give up their seat to you on the bus. Maybe they let you have the first parking space. Report an error in the passage at 16:17 Highlight the passage at 16:17

16:31 Just one little act is all it takes. Report an error in the passage at 16:31 Highlight the passage at 16:31

16:41 All of your current friends and enemies were once strangers. Now Report an error in the passage at 16:41 Highlight the passage at 16:41

16:58 look again at your three people and just think about how fragile relationships are. Report an error in the passage at 16:58 Highlight the passage at 16:58

17:11 Every one of our human interactions are based on misconceptions about ourselves and the other. So why do we hold so strongly to what we see, what appears to us, our fixed ideas? Report an error in the passage at 17:11 Highlight the passage at 17:11

17:37 Everyone in our life is the same in that we all want happiness and we don't want to suffer. Report an error in the passage at 17:37 Highlight the passage at 17:37

17:49 And everyone in our life also has the same pure, clear mind that knows. And that can know all, that can become omniscient, that can become a Buddha. We Report an error in the passage at 17:49 Highlight the passage at 17:49

18:14 let ourselves be dominated by aversion or ignorance or anger or attachment. We don't see others or ourselves very clearly. We Report an error in the passage at 18:14 Highlight the passage at 18:14

18:30 only see everything through the filter of the self-cherishing mind. What's their benefit to me? How have they helped me? Report an error in the passage at 18:30 Highlight the passage at 18:30

18:42 Such a limited and limiting way to live. Report an error in the passage at 18:42 Highlight the passage at 18:42

18:58 So we motivate this class to Report an error in the passage at 18:58 Highlight the passage at 18:58

19:04 the journey of discovering our own minds because by understanding our own minds we can begin to understand all mind and we can learn how to perfect our minds so that we can perfectly benefit all living beings and bring them that happiness that they want and take away their suffering. Report an error in the passage at 19:04 Highlight the passage at 19:04

19:43 Time, you can end your meditation and open your eyes and we'll start with that opening prayer. Report an error in the passage at 19:43 Highlight the passage at 19:43

20:18 You get two prayer books. You can read them simultaneously. With the wish to free all beings, I shall always go for refuge to Buddha, Dharma and Saṅgha until I reach full enlightenment. Inspired by wisdom and compassion, today in the Buddha's presence, I generate the mind while at full awakening for the benefit of all sentient beings. Report an error in the passage at 20:18 Highlight the passage at 20:18

20:45 As long as space remains. As long as the beings remain, until then may I too remain and dispel the miseries of the world. We have to do it again so Cynthia can do it too. With the wish to free all beings, I shall always go for refuge to Buddha, Dharma and Saṅgha until I reach full enlightenment. Inspired by wisdom and compassion. Report an error in the passage at 20:45 Highlight the passage at 20:45

21:11 Today in the Buddha's presence, I generate the mind of full awakening for the benefit of all sentient beings. As long as space remains, as long as sentient beings remain, until then may I too remain and dispel the miseries of the world. Report an error in the passage at 21:11 Highlight the passage at 21:11

21:40 So I want to open up if there are any questions about your homework, that meditation that we just did, or any of your reading. Report an error in the passage at 21:40 Highlight the passage at 21:40

21:54 And also, does anybody happen to have a lozenge in the class tonight? You want to see if there's one? I'm starting to lose my voice, I think. Report an error in the passage at 21:54 Highlight the passage at 21:54

22:08 Oh, there you go. Report an error in the passage at 22:08 Highlight the passage at 22:08

22:23 So we've talked about this a little bit in class, but I just feel like I'm still, I'm just still thinking about the relationship between the brain and the mind. Report an error in the passage at 22:23 Highlight the passage at 22:23

22:42 When I was reading, he is talking about, I'll just read this because this is what I was getting stuck on. Of course, environmental factors can contribute to difficulties, but the principal cause is always within you. The basic problem is never outside. And I know this question was raised before, but I just was thinking about the physiological aspects of the brain. Report an error in the passage at 22:42 Highlight the passage at 22:42

23:10 I think maybe this is tied into karma. I mean, say someone experiences... Like manic depression or something. Right, or trauma. If you experience trauma as a child, I mean, it's shown that that can change the... Oh, no, thanks. I think sugar would just make it worse. That's okay. Sorry. Sorry. I was just thinking about... Report an error in the passage at 23:10 Highlight the passage at 23:10

23:28 Sorry. Report an error in the passage at 23:28 Highlight the passage at 23:28

23:34 What I mentioned was like trauma. If you experience trauma in your life repeatedly, it can actually change your neurochemistry, you know, or prolonged drug abuse may change that neurochemistry. And that would affect your ability, I think, to practice, which maybe that's karma. I don't know. I think it probably would be. It's a good question. And I don't necessarily know the answer, but I'll take a guess. Report an error in the passage at 23:34 Highlight the passage at 23:34

24:03 I mean, I think about a lot of the Tibetans that have been imprisoned and have been tortured, and I'm thinking about the specific ones that I have heard speak about it, not necessarily just theorizing. Report an error in the passage at 24:03 Highlight the passage at 24:03

24:21 But in those situations, and it's not always across the board that all Tibetans are saints or something. I think a lot of times we tend to make people a little holier than they necessarily are. But what I have noticed a lot with the people that I have heard talk about, I am definitely losing it. Is there, yeah, maybe just see if anybody else in the building, maybe Viella or something has, sorry. Report an error in the passage at 24:21 Highlight the passage at 24:21

24:49 I've been sort of fighting it all day and I think it's just finally hitting. Report an error in the passage at 24:49 Highlight the passage at 24:49

24:56 The situations that they're in. Well, and I think, too, it's very important to note that not all Tibetans are Buddhist. Of course, it is a huge amount that are, but some aren't. Report an error in the passage at 24:56 Highlight the passage at 24:56

25:09 But those that were put in a really violent situation for a prolonged amount of time who were able to rely on something, you know, they had some sort of interfaith, they had some sort of something to work with, especially some understanding of karma, which is, by and large, it tends to be cultural. Not even just religious, but that understanding of karma is different. Then they don't have that same idea of hatred, which is a lot of times what causes a lot of our suffering, actually. Report an error in the passage at 25:09 Highlight the passage at 25:09

25:41 Or that question that always comes up with any kind of trauma that we face, why is this happening to me? And often that causes a huge amount. Still, the trauma is intense physically. Physically, often beatings, repeated torture, and things like that. Thank you, thank you. Thanks. Report an error in the passage at 25:41 Highlight the passage at 25:41

26:07 So there could be physiological changes that are happening, but when you hear these people talk, it's not like they didn't suffer. And it's not like they didn't experience And aren't still experiencing some ramifications of that suffering. But certain things are missing from the suffering that don't cause the same mental suffering. Report an error in the passage at 26:07 Highlight the passage at 26:07

26:37 And so that's usually, that I think is what he's getting at, is the mental suffering that we layer onto the physical suffering. So sometimes it's like when you get cancer it's bad enough, but then we do all the other mental crap that we lay on anything. I mean cancer is bad enough. How cold is bad enough? There's the pity mind. Oh, I have to teach and I've lost my voice. And so then there's a lot more suffering that I could layer onto it. Report an error in the passage at 26:37 Highlight the passage at 26:37

27:09 Same with any kind of trauma. That's not to say that there aren't physiological things that arise in the body that cause mental illness or that cause... But my guess would also be that that would all be karma. I mean, everything is karma. And we aren't talking so much about karma in here. But karma is a working of the mind. And the experiences that we have are all created by karma. Report an error in the passage at 27:09 Highlight the passage at 27:09

27:40 And so I would guess that... These different things that are happening, like mental illness and things like that, would be a karmic ripening. But not always. Sometimes they actually say that they're like spirit possession, which is something we don't even think about in our culture. Report an error in the passage at 27:40 Highlight the passage at 27:40

28:01 And again, then we would layer it if I were having a really horrible psychological or emotional or physical experience, and I layer it with all that other mental suffering. So I don't know. That's just my thinking about it a little bit. But I think any kind of suffering that we have is made better or worse by our attitude of how we can face it. Report an error in the passage at 28:01 Highlight the passage at 28:01

28:29 And I mean, there are people that have and are facing incredibly heinous situations and somehow come out of it whole. and then some people that are completely broken by Report an error in the passage at 28:29 Highlight the passage at 28:29

28:45 Much lesser situations and I think it has a lot to do with the mind, the power of the mind. It's not to blame and I think that's where in the West we kind of go wrong because our understanding of karma tends to be that it's somebody's fault and it's not anybody's fault because we've all created karma and we've all created everything, we've all been everything and done everything. Report an error in the passage at 28:45 Highlight the passage at 28:45

29:09 But the understanding that how we face whatever is going on, It can actually shift how it turns out and can definitely shift the next chapter. It's completely unknown to most Westerners. So that idea that karma is a work in process is really different than that whole idea of destiny and fate and all that blame and guilt and stuff that we lay onto it. Report an error in the passage at 29:09 Highlight the passage at 29:09

29:40 So I don't know if any of those musings help. It is a really big one. No, it's a big one. So you mentioned, you know, the Tibetans who may have been tortured, but let's just take another example. Say, you know, a soldier who's in Iraq. They did not have a practice before they went, and they are experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder, right? Report an error in the passage at 29:40 Highlight the passage at 29:40

30:06 So they come back. I'm curious, too, to know if it goes the other way. So they come back and they start a practice. Can that practice help? Report an error in the passage at 30:06 Highlight the passage at 30:06

30:17 I don't know. There we go. Yeah. Actually, there's a book out now. I haven't read it yet. I'm sorry. By a Zen practitioner. By a Zen practitioner whose name I forgot. Report an error in the passage at 30:17 Highlight the passage at 30:17

30:32 Vietnamese. I mean, was in the Vietnamese war. The war in Vietnam. Yeah. What was it called? Something like something. Report an error in the passage at 30:32 Highlight the passage at 30:32

30:44 No, it's not so new. Maybe in the last five years, though. It's not super old. Something like. Something like darkness or hell or something. I mean it was like that idea like going and then he used his practice to come to some way to deal with all the stuff that he went through. And I think Thich Nhat Hanh actually has done a number of trips and a number of workshops and a number of retreats with vets and prisoners of war and people who have had those kind of really, really intense. Report an error in the passage at 30:44 Highlight the passage at 30:44

31:19 experiences, and how to use and in his case, practice, Report an error in the passage at 31:19 Highlight the passage at 31:19

31:31 to deal with what you've gone through. It is a Report an error in the passage at 31:31 Highlight the passage at 31:31

31:53 big one. No, it is a big one. Yeah, it's not... I mean, I think the Buddhist teachings are methods that we can try. And I often use the analogy of like a toolbox. You know, we try them and it's the times that we need them most are sometimes the absolute hardest times of our lives. And they don't always work perfectly every time. Report an error in the passage at 31:53 Highlight the passage at 31:53

32:21 It's like we have to kind of experiment with what's going to work. Sometimes if we're going through, for example, like a really, really intense depression, some of the methods will work and some won't. Some of them will pull us out of ourselves and some of them are just too hard. You just don't have that energy that you need. And that's often true if you're really in the depths or if you're in grief, if you've lost somebody. Report an error in the passage at 32:21 Highlight the passage at 32:21

32:54 The times that we don't have the strength to practice are the times that we usually need to practice the most. And those are the times that you'd want something to draw on. And you may not have the strength at those times to summon the strength unless you've been doing it when you sort of have a little the good conditions that many of us have right now. Report an error in the passage at 32:54 Highlight the passage at 32:54

33:19 I'm not going to assume that all of us have it right now. So that's kind of the point too is that These aren't magic, but they're just tools. And if we start using the tools, just to really run the analogy into the ground, on a sunny day when we have the hurricane come through, we'll kind of know how to use them and we'll know where they are, which is often the case, right, when the hurricane comes through. Report an error in the passage at 33:19 Highlight the passage at 33:19

33:46 You guys don't have hurricanes, but you know what I mean. So it's like that. It's just, you know, it's... The more we practice them now, while we have good conditions, the more likely we are to even remember to try them out when we're in really, really horrible or even just slightly horrible conditions, you know, like during a breakup or something, which may not be the end of the world, but it still is really hard or the loss of a job or something like that, you know. Report an error in the passage at 33:46 Highlight the passage at 33:46

34:12 But then in really, really heavy ones, you know, I can't even imagine being tortured. I've done it repeatedly for 20 years, you know. But if I had nothing to draw on, just the times that I've faced, difficult times in the last few years, it just makes me so grateful to have some tools. Report an error in the passage at 34:12 Highlight the passage at 34:12

34:31 And so that's kind of the way I look at it. I'm just kind of like, well, wow. How did I face this stuff before, you know? It's very practical to have something to do. Or to have something to do for somebody else who's facing a really horrible situation in your life. Which is often, I think that's almost worse than our own stuff. Report an error in the passage at 34:31 Highlight the passage at 34:31

34:51 Because we want to help and we don't know what to do. And it's not like you're necessarily going to tell them, do ABC. But you can do ABC. And your calm and your willingness to be with their suffering can sometimes be the best gift that anybody can give. Because a lot of people in our culture just run from suffering. Report an error in the passage at 34:51 Highlight the passage at 34:51

35:10 I mean, they see it as a downer. Sorry, that's like an ancient word, but you know what I mean? They see it as... There's people on TV who used to pretend like they were hippies, like long past the hippies. Report an error in the passage at 35:10 Highlight the passage at 35:10

35:24 You'd be like, why don't you just get with somebody with long hair at least? No, but people think it's depressing to think about suffering, but people are suffering. Report an error in the passage at 35:24 Highlight the passage at 35:24

35:35 So when people are suffering, it's really... least. Report an error in the passage at 35:35 Highlight the passage at 35:35

35:38 A good skill to not be afraid of it. And that's one way that we can help. Anyway, I don't know how much this helped, but it just opens it. We can keep talking about it. It can be an ongoing thing. Anybody else? Any questions about anything? Rose, you want to pass her? Report an error in the passage at 35:38 Highlight the passage at 35:38

36:01 With the meditation, we just did. I struggle always at the same place or the same. same um issue it's When we have to imagine an enemy, I can feel that I don't want to go in there. I don't want to visualize how to think about someone as my enemy because I think somehow I put a label on someone. Report an error in the passage at 36:01 Highlight the passage at 36:01

36:40 I don't know. I just have trouble to do that. Then maybe just call it someone who annoys me. I mean, the whole idea is not them. That's what the whole point of this meditation is, is that they are all the same in those two ways, at least, along with the fact that they suffer from mental afflictions. There's lots of other ways that they're the same. What we're noticing is that our mind categorizes and we're trying to... Report an error in the passage at 36:40 Highlight the passage at 36:40

37:12 We can't stop it, but we're trying to notice that we do it. We're trying to notice. So that's really what it's about. In the daily life, I just try to do the opposite. If I have the impression someone annoys me, then I try to find an interest for these people or just not to emphasize it. Report an error in the passage at 37:12 Highlight the passage at 37:12

37:42 Well, the point of the meditation isn't to permanently make them an enemy, you know. So it's just to examine your mind. I think that it could be that you're giving it more power than it has to have. I mean, it's just an experiment of looking at how your mind looks and categorizes people. So maybe use another word. I mean, I wish we could come up with another word because every single time that we offer this, somebody has the same problem. Report an error in the passage at 37:42 Highlight the passage at 37:42

38:11 It doesn't have to be enemy, you know. I mean, the interesting thing is as you do this meditation over the years, it really does become more and more mild. It's just sort of somebody who looks at you wrong, you know, versus at the beginning when you're first doing it, it's somebody who, you know, is much more of a problem in your life. Report an error in the passage at 38:11 Highlight the passage at 38:11

38:33 So that's an interesting thing to notice, too. But for this one, I think it's just, you know, Don't necessarily think that it has to be that this person is a permanently labeled enemy. And think about that person who saw his wife as all three. It's like in a moment, any one of us could be that person. And I think in Tibetan it must be a less loaded word or something. Report an error in the passage at 38:33 Highlight the passage at 38:33

39:02 I don't know. Maybe. It's like aversion versus hatred. Like none of us wants to feel like we have hatred, but we all have aversion. It's just this lighter form of kind of dislike, pest. Somebody who's a pest to you. That's an interesting word. I don't know. You know, I mean, think about it. It doesn't have to. Yeah, just maybe just play with different ways to label it. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 39:02 Highlight the passage at 39:02

39:31 I don't know. Any other suggestions? Any other words that we could use? I mean, that should be your homework assignment. You have another question? Are you okay to let that one go for now, Rose? Yes. Yeah, okay. If anyone is listening at home and has a better word than enemy, send it to Chokyi, Kara. Report an error in the passage at 39:31 Highlight the passage at 39:31

39:53 The point of the meditation is not to get so much wrapped up in the label of... Enemy, stranger, friend, as much as the mind that is observing that you're labeling that, which is the mind that you want to concentrate on, not the labeling mind that has to put everything into a category. Well, no, I think it's both minds. I think it's the labeling mind too, because the labeling mind is what limits us. But the mind, the main mind that sort of observes it and... Report an error in the passage at 39:53 Highlight the passage at 39:53

40:31 Clings to it and believes it also gets us into trouble. But there is that labeling thing that happens and I think it's interesting to see what kind of data that mind needs to do that label and just to kind of observe it from that standpoint. It's just a function of our mind. I think it's probably if I were to hazard a guess I think it's probably discernment or discrimination. Report an error in the passage at 40:31 Highlight the passage at 40:31

40:57 Most people call it discrimination. I like discrimination, actually. Tenson Chokyi doesn't like it. She says it reminds her too much of 1964. But I think that's what we do with it. We do use it to discriminate between things. Not necessarily in a big way of barring the door and not letting somebody in, but more in a way that we limit how we open to somebody. Report an error in the passage at 40:57 Highlight the passage at 40:57

41:21 We constrict our hearts. So that is a form of discrimination. But discernment also is kind of a little bit more objective in a way. It's just, you know, I'm looking and naming and labeling. This is rose. This is student. This is floor. So it's like that, too. There's just like labeling things. And it's an effort to try to make order of our world. Report an error in the passage at 41:21 Highlight the passage at 41:21

41:47 So it's not necessarily a bad thing, but it tends to get not so useful to us when we like. Latch on to those labels and we believe that they're real and that they come from the object and we had nothing to do with them and all that stuff. It's interesting though. It's very interesting the way our mind does that. And I think it's especially interesting if you go like, you know, I should do a homework assignment where you go to like a really crowded place and just watch how your mind does that, you know. Report an error in the passage at 41:47 Highlight the passage at 41:47

42:17 We can do it next week at the conference. Report an error in the passage at 42:17 Highlight the passage at 42:17

42:24 But even just in a cafe or a place that there's a lot of different kinds of people. I definitely do this thing where I sort of do eye contact and then... If they smile back, there's like this almost immediate like, well, this one's okay kind of thing. And it's just funny to watch how our mind does that, you know. Maybe that one's dog just died. Report an error in the passage at 42:24 Highlight the passage at 42:24

42:48 Like, why do I think that that person's a bad person because they're not smiling back at me? That's that neediness or something, you know. So it's just interesting to watch our mind, you know. Anyway, blah, blah, blah. We could just do this one all night. And why not? Let's do. Report an error in the passage at 42:48 Highlight the passage at 42:48

43:08 So we're going to talk a little bit about, specifically about afflicted states of mind tonight and some ideas on what to do about them. I did want to mention last week we were getting into a little bit more low rig or mind and mental functions. And for those who might be interested, there are some slightly technical books, but I think this is the... Report an error in the passage at 43:08 Highlight the passage at 43:08

43:37 The Most Approachable Mind and Its Functions by Geshe Rapton. It definitely goes through all the mental factors and how the different minds work and the mental factors work within and that sort of thing in terms of, I mean, he's got all these great little charts and stuff like that. So if anyone is interested, you can look at him on the break. This one is sort of a classic. I think it's... Report an error in the passage at 43:37 Highlight the passage at 43:37

44:07 Really a bit heady. I'm labeling it not friend, although he's one of my gurus. Mind and Tibetan Buddhism, Lati Rinpoche. But, you know, it totally depends on the mind who reads it, because some people, you know, it might be quite easy to get. And then for those of us who aren't. Academic in the least. Then there's Mind Science and East-West Dialogue. And this is coming out of some of the Mind Science symposiums that have been happening over the last few years. Report an error in the passage at 44:07 Highlight the passage at 44:07

44:41 So it's a lot of different little essays, some of them quite readable, so if people are interested. And they have all sorts of great diagrams. See, this one's got like the chakras. And then they've also got, you know, charts and things like that, too. So if anybody is interested and would like to look at these, I'll just leave them up here and people can look at them on the break. So again, it's interesting to see how this class ties in so much with the Tantra class. Report an error in the passage at 44:41 Highlight the passage at 44:41

45:14 We were just talking last night about dukkha, which is often translated as suffering. And the first noble truth, there is suffering. Report an error in the passage at 45:14 Highlight the passage at 45:14

45:28 And Dukkha actually translates in a lot of different ways. I mean, if you technically translate it, it's more like a restlessness of the mind, a dissatisfied mind, dissatisfaction in the mind. Report an error in the passage at 45:28 Highlight the passage at 45:28

45:43 And if we look at it that way, it's quite easy to see how everyone is suffering and everything is suffering because we always have this sort of baseline dissatisfaction that makes it really, really difficult to ever have happiness or peace because our mind is just always... Quickly looking, it's like, oh yeah, I got, okay, now what can I get out? You know, it's like your happiness is so short-lived because we immediately either find fault with whatever is giving us happiness or we want more. Report an error in the passage at 45:43 Highlight the passage at 45:43

46:12 You know, I sometimes will find myself, you know, you just made a really great meal and you can't just sit and enjoy the meal because you're thinking about the fact that somebody might finish what's on the stove and you better get in there and get some more. It's like this weird mind. Or you're thinking about what you could have for dessert while you're still eating the main course. Report an error in the passage at 46:12 Highlight the passage at 46:12

46:29 And we do that with everything. And it's not anything wrong with us. And I found that such a relief, actually, when I first met Buddhism, that the Buddha actually observed that this is something in our mind. This is the way samsaric mind works. And that's why we suffer. And that's what saṃsāra is. Is a bunch of beings like this with this kind of mind getting together. That's the short definition of saṃsāra. Report an error in the passage at 46:29 Highlight the passage at 46:29

47:01 And so we keep looking outside of ourselves to end that suffering. But the suffering is, as you were pointing out with Lama Yeshe's quote, within our own mind. It's something that's, it's just a quality of our mind. But not forever. It's not an innate quality of our mind. Report an error in the passage at 47:01 Highlight the passage at 47:01

47:24 So, the Four Noble Truths, which is the first teaching of the Buddha, and often the most famous of the teachings of the Buddha, right after he got enlightened, he gave these four. And the first was, there is suffering, which is certainly the most relatable. I mean, everybody has had some form of suffering in their lives. Report an error in the passage at 47:24 Highlight the passage at 47:24

47:47 And so, it's like we can prove that one. He didn't have to convince us of that one. But the good news was that he followed it with there. He didn't stop there. I know a lot of people, I asked my sister one time what she thought the main teaching of Buddhism, my sister is not a Buddhist, my sister is sometimes Unitarian, sometimes Presbyterian, sometimes goddess or something. Report an error in the passage at 47:47 Highlight the passage at 47:47

48:10 So I asked her what she thought the main teaching of Buddhism was, and she said, oh, I think they talk about suffering a lot, don't they? They talk about suffering, and I was like, no, it's compassion. Report an error in the passage at 48:10 Highlight the passage at 48:10

48:25 So people get stuck on that first one. It sounds like a real downer. He definitely makes us look at what suffering is, and he has all these lists, and don't worry, I'm not going to give you all the lists on what suffering is. But the point is that he then followed it with there's a cause of that suffering, and that there is an end to that suffering, and that there's a path to the end. Report an error in the passage at 48:25 Highlight the passage at 48:25

48:48 Often the word cessation is used. And that that suffering comes from our mind and that it's possible to remove that source of suffering from our mind. Report an error in the passage at 48:48 Highlight the passage at 48:48

49:00 So this underlying dukkha is what he felt was the root cause of all of the suffering. And we were just talking a little bit about what this dukkha creates. This dukkha causes us to do actions that then create karma, then that karma ripens and that ripening of the karma is what causes our experience. So if the underlying cause of whatever we're doing is this restless, agitated mind, then what we end up doing with our body and our speech and our mind ends up not being so positive. Report an error in the passage at 49:00 Highlight the passage at 49:00

49:50 Most of the time. It takes real effort to do positive things and it's quite easy to not do such positive things. So that's why we end up, unless we have very strong imprints to do positive, that's why we end up doing a lot of negative and that's why we end up suffering. Report an error in the passage at 49:50 Highlight the passage at 49:50

50:11 So in that way the mind... It is responsible not just for the suffering things that we experience in a given life, but it also tends to create the environment and all the details of the life that we have that follows. And in that way, that's really one of the big aspects of this course, is to talk about, to think about the ramifications of the actions that we do and how it might propel us into a different existence at the time of our death. Report an error in the passage at 50:11 Highlight the passage at 50:11

50:44 And the situation that would follow this life. So if we think about the fact that our mind is a beginningless and endless entity, at least to consider that if we don't believe it, then how it moves forward based upon actions, what we do with it, how we think, what we feed it, Report an error in the passage at 50:44 Highlight the passage at 50:44

51:10 how we train it. All those different ways that we can work with our minds through meditation and through mind training, which is basically just daily practice on how you face various things that come up, whether it's intense or whether, as Stephanie was talking about, or whether it's just the day-to-day annoyances of somebody cutting you off in traffic or something like that. Report an error in the passage at 51:10 Highlight the passage at 51:10

51:37 So if it's true that what we do with our mind and how we treat it, And how we train it has huger ramifications within this life and more importantly almost considering how many future lives we could have in our future lives. Then it sort of does behoove us to understand. The causes of happiness a little bit more, and I'm not leading into the conference, but the causes of not just our happiness, but the causes of our pain, working on what's bringing us these different forms of our suffering, both right now, what may have brought us what's happening to us right now, and also what we can do to change what follows. Report an error in the passage at 51:37 Highlight the passage at 51:37

52:27 Because often what happens is we're just desperate for happiness and we're going after happiness and what we're doing is creating more suffering because we're just doing it based on ignorance. Report an error in the passage at 52:27 Highlight the passage at 52:27

52:39 So the methods that the Buddha gave us are analytical meditation, really looking at how all these things work in detail, but also just doing deep meditation on the mind itself. You know, looking at how our mind works itself and also developing a mindfulness between meditation sessions, which is Tibetans call it post-meditative. Report an error in the passage at 52:39 Highlight the passage at 52:39

53:08 Session, which is the other 23 and a half hours of the day. Whenever you're reading in a retreat manual, it's like, you know, in the retreat, this is what you do. And you're like, okay, man, I could probably do that. And then you're like, and then this is what you do with the other 23 hours. And you're like, wow, man, what about like the breaks, you know? Report an error in the passage at 53:08 Highlight the passage at 53:08

53:29 There is no break. Constantly looking at our mind, constantly watching the way it works. And trying to develop a sort of just a curiosity and a happiness, a playfulness about it. Not like a heaviness of like, oh man, I just did it again. Not like that, but more just like, oh, isn't it interesting that I would go into this place. I don't know anyone and I've already decided this guy's my friend because he smiled at me. Report an error in the passage at 53:29 Highlight the passage at 53:29

53:53 This one's, you know, my enemy because he, you know, grabbed my coffee when it was called, you know, or whatever. More just like, you know, playing with us a little bit. Venable Rene is really good at that. He always makes it so joyful and playful. The way he puts it is just like this amazing journey and that we're the only ones that can really take this journey in our minds. Report an error in the passage at 53:53 Highlight the passage at 53:53

54:15 Like we get the method from the Buddha, but the actual path is using that method and then going in our own mind, you know, using it. That's like the map. Then we go into our own mind and we do the journey within our own mind and it's completely unique. There are similarities, of course. But our personal experiences and the things that happen with us and to us differ. And so from that standpoint, it's like one of the last things to explore on the planet and that we should have this sort of joyfulness about it, you know, be like, oh, cool, I get to look at my mind today. Report an error in the passage at 54:15 Highlight the passage at 54:15

54:50 There is this one monk when I was doing a, there's a purification practice called Vajrasapha. And if you do... One of the preliminary practices is to do 100,000 of these in a three-month retreat. So, of course, being the good little homework, I had an assignment, so I planned and I did it. So I went to Shida in Dharamsala. I've never done retreat before. I decided to sign up for a three-month retreat, which I think in some ways is just the best way because you're never really going to be ready to do something this insane, so you might as well just go for it. Report an error in the passage at 54:50 Highlight the passage at 54:50

55:29 So, of course, we all were going totally insane. And then they called in this one monk. I think he was a British monk. And this was after the first two weeks. And we were all completely stressed out. We were all worrying about this. And we're trying really hard. And this is always kind of like this kind of energy with each other. Report an error in the passage at 55:29 Highlight the passage at 55:29

55:46 And people are freaking out about the food. And these people hate the food. And these people love the food. And these people are fighting about the food. And the food always comes out. So then he comes. And he gives us this little talk. And I kept those notes. I've referred to them a few times. Complete Lama Yeshe student, you know. He's just like, so you come in and you set up the visualization and then you just, you know it's there. Report an error in the passage at 55:46 Highlight the passage at 55:46

56:13 So then you relax. And then you're just kind of like, what's on TV today? It's just like, whatever comes up in your mind, that's what's on TV today. And that's great. That's what you purify. And it was so great because I was like coming up with every horrible thing I had ever done in the last, you know, 30 years of my life and including like what I did in fifth grade. Report an error in the passage at 56:13 Highlight the passage at 56:13

56:35 And I was like, it was great for a while, but then it was just intense. It was like, I'm so horrible. So we definitely need to relax when we work with our mind and make it more joyful and make it fun because it really is an interesting show. Report an error in the passage at 56:35 Highlight the passage at 56:35

56:53 And we're not going to be able to do the work that we need to. Maybe we shouldn't call it work. We're not going to be able to take the journey that we need to if we don't figure out ways to juice it up a little bit. Report an error in the passage at 56:53 Highlight the passage at 56:53

57:06 So just becoming familiar with the different states of mind and understanding why certain states of mind are non-virtuous, are considered negative. Things are considered negative in Buddhism if they yield a negative result. In other words, if they cause us suffering. That's the only reason that something is called negative. Report an error in the passage at 57:06 Highlight the passage at 57:06

57:29 So a negative, a state of mind like anger, for example, yields negativity. We say things and, you know, punch people and do horrible acts. Report an error in the passage at 57:29 Highlight the passage at 57:29

57:41 Based on this state of mind, and then that causes us to suffer. Like even if it didn't make everybody around us suffer, which it does, it also just causes us to suffer. And that's why it's called a negative state of mind. And also recognizing positive states of mind, which I think most of us probably would recognize. I think there's more difficulty recognizing what might be negative because there's differing cultural attitudes about anger. Report an error in the passage at 57:41 Highlight the passage at 57:41

58:11 For example, probably not so much about all negative states of mind. It's probably not so much about jealousy. There might be, though. Actually, I think there are cultures where they think it's actually really good to be jealous. Like it somehow shows your love for the other person or something. Report an error in the passage at 58:11 Highlight the passage at 58:11

58:30 It's kind of scary, actually, but I have heard that before. It has come up before. For both parties, for all parties involved, that they actually think it's kind of... A sign of passion or something and that can be useful. Definitely attachment is a hard one to convince Westerners that that's even a negative state of mind. Report an error in the passage at 58:30 Highlight the passage at 58:30

58:53 But if you think about the times that you've been like super craving grasping towards something, you fill in the blank. It's not a peaceful state of mind. It's like an obsessive state of mind. And that's the form of attachment we're talking about. We're not talking about the attachment of a nursing mother for her baby or something like that. Report an error in the passage at 58:53 Highlight the passage at 58:53

59:13 We're talking about afflictive attachment. So the only way that we're going to become familiar with these states of minds is to actually look at them, you know, think about them, contemplate them. Report an error in the passage at 59:13 Highlight the passage at 59:13

59:27 And then especially think about them first in the cushion and then... As situations arise at work or in your life or whatever, and you have the opportunity to work with them at that point, see if you can bring up these things that you've gotten familiar with when your mind isn't agitated. Report an error in the passage at 59:27 Highlight the passage at 59:27

59:47 They're sort of like little pop quizzes. And we don't always do so great with them, and then we kind of just go, oh, wow, I just kind of screwed that one up. Let's try that one again. Report an error in the passage at 59:47 Highlight the passage at 59:47

59:58 Because we have ample opportunity to try these things, and we don't always do them perfectly when they do arise. And this is what practice is, really. I mean, practice is working with our mind. I mean, I found a great definition of practice, and I didn't bring it. I'll try to bring it next week. But it's something like using everything we have when whatever. Report an error in the passage at 59:58 Highlight the passage at 59:58

1:00:27 With whatever arises, with whatever is in front of us, basically using every method, every teaching, every tool that we have at our disposal to the best of our ability. And that's it. And sometimes the best of our ability is really, really, really, really poor. And then starting over again. And then starting over again, getting back on the horse. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:27 Highlight the passage at 1:00:27

1:00:53 So... Part of what this involves is starting to look at the stories that our mind creates about the friend, enemy, stranger, the people around us, the stories that our mind creates about us. All the delusions basically are strengthened by these stories that we create. But we don't even notice that we create them. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:53 Highlight the passage at 1:00:53

1:01:16 So that's a first step. It's just to begin noticing the stories that we create. Which are based on misunderstanding and misapprehending reality. And they're stories about ourselves, but they're also stories about other people. And they're stories about things, you know, the importance of something. Because then that allows you to get so mad when, you know, David breaks it or something, you know. So we do that too. We misapprehend things. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:16 Highlight the passage at 1:01:16

1:01:46 To see how the different delusions that arise or afflictive states of mind that arise. Do certain things like attachment exaggerates the qualities of another. Aversion exaggerates the negative aspects of another. And sometimes it's the same person. So you might fall madly in love with somebody and you just don't look at the way they eat their eggs. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:46 Highlight the passage at 1:01:46

1:02:13 It doesn't become an issue until the mind begins to switch slowly from attachment. And then it's like all you can see is the way they eat their eggs and it's just driving you crazy. It's the same person. They're doing the same thing. It's not like they didn't eat eggs during the first, you know, five months of their relationship. But our mind only saw that their beauty, their wonder, you know, like the cute little way that they laughed. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:13 Highlight the passage at 1:02:13

1:02:45 Like a totally adorable way that they flipped their hair or something, you know. And then when the version sets in, it just distorts all of those cute little qualities, you know, and then that flipping hair just becomes like the point of no return. Just ask poor Madonna or Guy. We'll have different things that just set them off. And in reality, that person does all of those things and they're just doing that thing. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:45 Highlight the passage at 1:02:45

1:03:13 They aren't, you know, it's not like any one of those things are inherently. Divine or inherently evil. They're just living their life and trying to eat eggs and flip their hair. But our mind is creating all these different afflictions. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:13 Highlight the passage at 1:03:13

1:03:30 I mean stories based on the afflictions that are arising in our mind. So we're going to start with anger. And actually we're not going to get so much into the afflictive states of mind. We do that in other classes. I am just going to touch on it because this is definitely a really huge aspect of the mind are these mental afflictions and what they cause us to do. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:30 Highlight the passage at 1:03:30

1:03:54 If we look at anger, they say anger is like the heaviest of all the mental afflictions. And the reason is, I mean, I think we all kind of know that. There's not some, I mean, there might be times that we might think about reasons that anger could be useful. But when it's the kind of anger that's destructive, I think we've all seen it in action and I think we've all experienced how it feels in our body, in our mind, and that it doesn't feel good, especially if it makes us lose control, like that kind of anger. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:54 Highlight the passage at 1:03:54

1:04:31 There might be times that people feel that anger causes you to fight injustice or it might cause you to... Fight back, for example, in a situation where somebody's attacking you. And actually, there are differing points of view on that. I think His Holiness actually says there are times that there can be sort of a righteous anger, but not to let it slip into the more extreme version of aversion, which is hatred. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:31 Highlight the passage at 1:04:31

1:05:06 So the difference between anger and hatred can be... close. It can be a very fine line. But then there's also wrath versus anger, you know, where you can manifest, look like you're angry, but actually you're not holding on to it. Like if you're stopping a kid from putting their hand in the fire or running out into the street, where you're trying to manifest that kind of firm, you know, angry looking look to make them listen to you. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:06 Highlight the passage at 1:05:06

1:05:37 And that can sometimes, your motivation can be quite clearly love, you know, or compassion, not wanting them to harm themselves. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:37 Highlight the passage at 1:05:37

1:05:48 But according to the Buddha, it's anger. There's no justification for anger if that is what's your driving motivation. because Report an error in the passage at 1:05:48 Highlight the passage at 1:05:48

1:06:01 All it's doing is disturbing your peace of mind, and it's not necessarily going to be the most effective way for you to deal with a situation. For example, if you get really, really angry about global warming or some other political situation, Report an error in the passage at 1:06:01 Highlight the passage at 1:06:01

1:06:17 often anger makes you close down, so then you can't even listen to the other opposing point of view or even seeing it as an opposing point of view is already beginning to cut back on your ability to work out some sort of dialogue, and we need to have the... So His Holiness is often saying that a better motivation would be compassion. You could do the same work. You could still fight for change in the world or justice or tolerance or environmental intelligence, but without attacking and without cutting people off or being constrictive or something in your thinking. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:17 Highlight the passage at 1:06:17

1:06:54 So compassion often, people a lot of times will think that compassion means that you just sort of lie down and... and become a doormat. And it's not. Compassion is actually quite brave and open, sort of an opening of the And often the bravest people are fighting for change with a compassionate motivation. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:54 Highlight the passage at 1:06:54

1:07:21 So it's just to think about that, think about what your motivation is for the work that you're doing. I don't think there's any one right answer, but definitely that thought that, Anger is the only way to motivate political work or political change or social change. It's so prevalent, I think, in our culture, and I don't think it necessarily has to be that way. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:21 Highlight the passage at 1:07:21

1:07:42 And I think it's actually quite useful to look at people who don't use that as their motivation for making changes in the world. It is definitely possible. But anger, if we think about just the sort of everyday anger, which is really the one that we're focusing on. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:42 Highlight the passage at 1:07:42

1:08:01 If any of us have ever had a situation in our homes where somebody had a temper, my dad had a real temper, and it was terrible to see actually because a really kind human being would suddenly turn into a monster. And I mean now, I mean it's been many, many years he's passed away, but... In our household, it would just totally change the whole energy of the house. You know, we'd all be just having a great time and then all of a sudden, the whole thing would change because he had this anger that he couldn't control. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:01 Highlight the passage at 1:08:01

1:08:33 And then it became terrible because we sort of made him, I mean, now when I think back on it, it was really kind of terrible because it's like we'd hear the car door and we all go, even my mom, you know, she's like, you know, I mean. And basically he had a really sweet heart and he was really kind and he was really generous and then this demon would take over, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:33 Highlight the passage at 1:08:33

1:08:55 And if you've ever lived in that situation, you don't know like when it's suddenly going to change and become kind of more wary and more, you know, like definitely ready to run just in case. I was the youngest so I was like, you know, ready to run. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:55 Highlight the passage at 1:08:55

1:09:11 um Anger can really cause so much pain. I mean, it can cause so much pain in his, I'm sure in his mind, in his heart. I'm sure he began to see that. I'm sure that hurt him too. He probably never even realized, you know, the role that he was playing in it. His father apparently was just hell on wheels. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:11 Highlight the passage at 1:09:11

1:09:32 So I'm sure that he felt like, well, I'm not as bad as him. So he's probably made like amazing changes in his life to not become his own father. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:32 Highlight the passage at 1:09:32

1:09:43 And it's just painful when you look at it, when you think about it and analyze it, which of course we all have done in the intervening years since he's passed away. But thinking about it just in terms of yourself and how it makes you think unclearly, how it feels in your body, how it affects your health, you know, how it makes you not able to sleep. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:43 Highlight the passage at 1:09:43

1:10:05 You might just do that kind of, there's like the hot one and then there's also that kind of long. long resentful stew um know and I can do both really well where you just feel like one of them feels like a fire like you know like you did those in um cartoons that What do you think of the resentful stew? Report an error in the passage at 1:10:05 Highlight the passage at 1:10:05

1:10:41 And both of them are so painful, so painful to the mind, you know, just to notice it and to realize at some point when you begin to realize, I don't have to do this. There's another way for me to deal with this situation that's not this. You know, like there's a choice because often we just feel like anger comes on just like the Wile E. Coyote. Like there's a Wile E. Coyote in all of our lives and he's making us angry. You know, he said that and that's why I get angry. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:41 Highlight the passage at 1:10:41

1:11:09 You did that to me and that's why I get angry. And that again is getting back to I think what Lama and she was getting at too. There are lots of times even in my life with the same two people even saying things or doing things to me and I don't get angry. So what's the difference? They're still doing the same things. It's my mind on those days is a little bit more stable or maybe a little more rested, which is my trigger. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:09 Highlight the passage at 1:11:09

1:11:36 So just watching. That's a lot of what practice is. It's just noticing, oh, wow. So Rose said the same thing to me two days in a row. One day I got angry and one day I didn't. What was different in my mind? And then starting to sort of be aware of that. So the meditation that you guys are going to do this week is going to be about looking at anger and some ideas on how to begin to think about it when it comes up. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:36 Highlight the passage at 1:11:36

1:12:12 The Buddha actually said holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else, but you're the one who gets burned. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:12 Highlight the passage at 1:12:12

1:12:24 And that sounds very American. I think the translation was American. But he's not, he's saying, and so much of this stuff gets misconstrued. He's not saying that we suppress anger because we think it's bad. Suppressing it is like one extreme. We're actually, the other is of course then saying that it's like every time we get angry we actually should just give into it and let it run rampant. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:24 Highlight the passage at 1:12:24

1:12:50 So those are the two extremes. We're actually trying to find something in between. Those two. So we're not saying, oh, I'm angry. You know, it's not like that. It's like, oh, looking at it, how does it feel in my body? And again, it's a little scary because we don't want to feel it and we've often been taught not to feel it or that we shouldn't feel it. As Buddhists, definitely as a nun. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:50 Highlight the passage at 1:12:50

1:13:15 But if we don't look at it and think about it and try to analyze it, like really like a science experiment, then... This is all just theory. I'm not taking it into my heart. I'm not really working with this. So acknowledging it, acknowledging it when we're angry or jealous or depressed or whatever it is, whatever the mental affection is, and then working with them in analytical meditation especially so that it sort of gives us some tools with which to face them when they arise. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:15 Highlight the passage at 1:13:15

1:13:52 We've created the causes for a lot of different imprints to arise. And they say it's actually just like any kind of habit. The more that we give in to anger, the more we create more seeds for anger to arise. The more we give in to love, good news, or any other virtuous state of mind, we create the causes for that to arise. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:52 Highlight the passage at 1:13:52

1:14:15 So it's just a habit. It's just like if we cultivate the habit to swear or something like that, then it becomes easier to swear. If we create the habit to play the piano, it becomes easier to play the piano. Just familiarity. So the same is true for cultivating positive versus negative states of mind and negative versus positive states of mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:15 Highlight the passage at 1:14:15

1:14:33 Familiarity. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:33 Highlight the passage at 1:14:33

1:14:44 So in all of the cases of all of these mental afflictions, some of the things that actually help are just cultivating this sort of self-awareness, like watching our mind both in meditation and just when we face problems at work. So my favorite place to do that is to just like when you're in a situation and you sort of come back to yourself and you're like, oh, I just got really mad or whatever. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:44 Highlight the passage at 1:14:44

1:15:12 So you're at work. Of course, I live and work in the same place. But sometimes it takes a while to realize that you even just got mad. Because first you're like in the throes of it. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:12 Highlight the passage at 1:15:12

1:15:25 And then all of a sudden you're like, oh wait, I'm angry. How did I get angry? When did I get angry? Pema Chodron always says, notice when you've got a tightening in your belly. Like that's actually the beginning. They say the direct cause of anger is actually this sort of slight upset. That the equilibrium sort of knocked off. And one of the signs of it is that tightness. It takes a while to notice that though, because usually you're already down, you're already out all the way on some other, like everything's tight by the time you notice it. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:25 Highlight the passage at 1:15:25

1:15:55 But the more that you practice it, you can begin to notice. Just that when you're slightly going off balance. And what I often will do is that I'll notice I'll go into the bathroom and that'll be my place to work on it because no one's going to bother you in the bathroom. There may just be severe problems, but nobody's going to come and bring you back into the situation. And it allows you some peace and quiet for you to kind of go, what just happened there? Report an error in the passage at 1:15:55 Highlight the passage at 1:15:55

1:16:20 Wait, that must have been a trigger because he said that to me and I got so angry. What was really going on, you know? Was it my ego? What was I attached to? Just kind of do a little dissection of it. And that's cultivating mindfulness. I mean, often we'll think mindfulness is like this kind of really holy thing. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:20 Highlight the passage at 1:16:20

1:16:39 It's just a tool. It's just a self-awareness of what's happening, watching our mind all the time. It's quite practical, actually. Sometimes it helps to remember that whatever this craziness that's going on in our minds is, that it's not the nature of our minds. The nature of our mind is actually pure and clear and you can even think about one of those meditations that we've done where we, you know, that our mind is like as clear as the sky, you know, and like that and that this is just like clouds and it's going to pass and even to think, you know, about the times that you know you have been really, really upset and it's passed. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:39 Highlight the passage at 1:16:39

1:17:16 Sometimes within a single day it's amazing when our mind goes through, you know, the intensity of the ups and downs of our minds and it does pass. And that's actually very comforting if you're in the middle of something. It's like, yeah, I'm really upset by this, but it's not going to still bother me. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:16 Highlight the passage at 1:17:16

1:17:36 I can almost guarantee it won't still bother me in at least a week. Maybe I can't say tomorrow, but I could at least a week. Or remembering impermanence, remembering impermanence of yourself and the person that's upsetting you or the thing that you're upset about. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:36 Highlight the passage at 1:17:36

1:17:53 And I remember doing this one when somebody in the house was rearranging things and I was getting all upset. You know, you come into the dining room and everything's all, you know, messed up. And then I thought, you know, if I died tonight, this would not be on my mind. It really wouldn't be on my mind, like where the chest was and where the sofa goes. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:53 Highlight the passage at 1:17:53

1:18:15 You know, it's just such a dumb thing to get so upset about. So that sometimes helps. Or just thinking about if I'm having a fight with Stephanie, the thought, what if she died tonight? God, that would be horrible. I wouldn't be able to live with that. And it just allows me to kind of let go of the anger, you know, like that. It doesn't mean you don't want to talk to her about the problem. But it is useful. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:15 Highlight the passage at 1:18:15

1:18:38 It is a way sometimes to just release that tightness. And then if you know anything about karma, thinking about how karma... Report an error in the passage at 1:18:38 Highlight the passage at 1:18:38

1:18:49 It is a filter of how we see things, the things that happen to us, the appearance that something gives to me, whether or not this person looks horrible to me or whether or not this person looks beautiful to me. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:49 Highlight the passage at 1:18:49

1:19:02 All of it comes as a result of karma. So even just remembering it, even if you don't fully have confidence in it yet, just remembering it and kind of using it as the basis of some sort of analysis is quite useful. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:02 Highlight the passage at 1:19:02

1:19:18 And the more that you understand about karma, the more useful that tool is. Because basically what we're doing is dissecting these stories that we buy into. And the stories are actually causing us suffering. They're causing us pain. So pulling them apart can be quite useful because you realize, oh, this isn't this solid, horrible problem. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:18 Highlight the passage at 1:19:18

1:19:42 It's just David's upset and I'm upset. And then we can work with that. We can figure that one out. So and then, of course, there's cultivating love and compassion, which is really I mean, they often say that cultivating love is the direct antidote for anger. I find that one very hard because you're all pissed, you know, for me. For me, it's not like so easy to, you know, to like think about, you know, if I'm like really upset. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:42 Highlight the passage at 1:19:42

1:20:18 Then to try to cultivate love for that person. But what you could think about is the fact that, especially if you got into a screaming match with somebody or whatever, to think about the fact that they are at the mercy of their mental afflictions too. That could be a cause of compassion. I mean, as much as I'm at the mercy of my mental afflictions, they are as well. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:18 Highlight the passage at 1:20:18

1:20:44 They are just trying to find happiness, just like I'm trying to find happiness. And like that, you know, so there could be a basis of compassion for them. Or just thinking, okay, you know, I want this person. You know, when I was having problems with somebody that lived here at one point, and just thinking. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:44 Highlight the passage at 1:20:44

1:21:08 You know, that I definitely did want this person's happiness. It's not like I didn't want their happiness. That sort of softened it a little bit, was just kind of like, you know, it's not like that kind of anger where you don't want the other person to ever be. You know, it's more like just those little snits that you get into with people. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:08 Highlight the passage at 1:21:08

1:21:30 But sort of softening and kind of realizing that, well, yeah, I do want them to be happy and I don't want them to suffer. Like if they are suffering, I don't want them to have pain, you know. That sort of softens your heart. That's like a beginning. So in that way, cultivating love and compassion, I think, can soften it. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:30 Highlight the passage at 1:21:30

1:21:52 So why don't we just take a break, actually, and then we're going to do a meditation on anger and different ideas on ways to deal with it when it comes up and ways to look at it. Does anybody have any questions first and then we can take a break. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:52 Highlight the passage at 1:21:52

1:22:09 Everybody's just too blitzed. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:09 Highlight the passage at 1:22:09

1:22:14 That's all right. Go get some coffee. Actually, I don't know if anybody's even in there. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:14 Highlight the passage at 1:22:14

1:22:21 Somebody's clinking and clanging. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:21 Highlight the passage at 1:22:21

1:22:33 Oh, did you? I'm going to go see you the day after Thanksgiving in Santa Cruz. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:33 Highlight the passage at 1:22:33

1:22:43 She is, yeah. is, yeah. Are you going to drive down on Saturday night? Maybe. Let's keep talking about it because I would love to go back, I think, yeah. But I don't want to stay down there all day because it's just right after the conference. It's already like this huge thing to just, you know, to go down on Friday. But fortunately I get to sleep on Thanksgiving, so I thought that, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:43 Highlight the passage at 1:22:43

1:23:10 I mean, in theory. We have a few guests that are leaving from here that day, but that's my plan. It's intense. This is definitely like the biggest thing I've ever been a part of. Yeah, I wish I would, because it's Thanksgiving and my mom would get away. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:10 Highlight the passage at 1:23:10

1:23:34 Yeah, yeah, it's definitely going to be big. That's good. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:34 Highlight the passage at 1:23:34

1:23:40 Well, I think we're still at a couple hundred that I've registered. We're really hoping for more like 400. But I'm still hoping that people will do last minute registering and day of registering at San Francisco. We're kind of known for that. And then we've got easily 140, 150 volunteers, I think, by the time we finally go. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:40 Highlight the passage at 1:23:40

1:24:04 Yeah, it's a lot of volunteers. And then I think we're going to do some comp tickets, you know, for some people since we've got the space. Weston, Market Street, so down like around, I think, 4th or 5th or something like that. Nice hotel. We have the whole second floor. I mean, this is an enormous thing. We've got, you know, like Google is endorsing it. And, you know, like, so they're sending some of their people. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:04 Highlight the passage at 1:24:04

1:24:29 I just, of course, I'm like saying all this into the mic. But yeah, so I think it's going to be just a great beginning for bringing these all these different people together. And then just to be a part of that, I think, feels really important. And hopefully. We're putting the seeds together to, I mean our plan is to do another one next year. Not at Thanksgiving. It's a horrible, horrible time. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:29 Highlight the passage at 1:24:29

1:25:00 Especially here because so many people who live here are not. I think it's everywhere. It's the biggest travel holiday of the year in America. So it's just, yeah, it's just. But from the point of view of some of the speakers are more available because say if they're academics they might be on a break from school and things like that. And some of the students the same. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:00 Highlight the passage at 1:25:00

1:25:23 We've got a number of our volunteers, quite a few, probably half of our volunteers are students in one of the fields and they're interested and so they're volunteering in order to do work exchange. So we're probably getting some of them because of the time period too. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:23 Highlight the passage at 1:25:23

1:25:40 But I think overall it would be much better to have it be like October or something like that if we can. Well, Report an error in the passage at 1:25:40 Highlight the passage at 1:25:40

1:25:55 Chokyi was saying that the event manager is also named Chokyi. She's worked on three of these in Sydney and they've gone from 500 the first time all the way up to 3,500 last year. And she says to some degree it's the same amount of work, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:55 Highlight the passage at 1:25:55

1:26:18 So, but, you know, I think it is true in some sense. I don't even know if I could handle the idea of 3,500 people. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:18 Highlight the passage at 1:26:18

1:26:29 Yeah. Yeah. Well, if you have any time tomorrow, we still need some help. I sent you an email, by the way. You're going to get it in your box. Yeah, it did today. I was just trying to think of, like, I sent one to him, too. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:29 Highlight the passage at 1:26:29

1:26:56 Well, just, I mean, I think I just sent one for today and tomorrow because we just realized that we really, really needed loads of people. And I think we actually have quite a few coming in tomorrow, but still, they're all kind of, it's like, a couple of them are all day, but most of them are like this, this, this, kind of like these little windows over there. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:56 Highlight the passage at 1:26:56

1:27:14 But that's cool. We have lots of little things, like we're putting together the gift bags for all the attendees. Well, I saw all the lavender. All the lavender. I wish I had that volunteer job. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:14 Highlight the passage at 1:27:14

1:27:25 And then all the books. We're doing a bookstore that's like 5,000 titles or something. Because there's 40 speakers. Many of them are published. So then they chose which books. Yeah, it's insane. I really have to make sure he edits this all. I'm like totally going off of it. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:25 Highlight the passage at 1:27:25

1:27:46 I mean, many of them are teaching in two days. I mean, the first day is only two workshops. That's like the long, the sort of most relaxed. Sunday. Sunday is just Tupten Jempa in the morning and Venom Rubina in the afternoon, like two hour workshops both times, two and a half hour workshops I think both times. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:46 Highlight the passage at 1:27:46

1:28:06 And then Monday and Tuesday is just like this insane, you know, like individual speakers and panels of speakers and conversations between speakers and interviews between, you know, it's just this whole like three different things happening simultaneously. And then to make it more exciting on Monday night we're doing this benefit concert. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:06 Highlight the passage at 1:28:06

1:28:30 Complete with 65-piece Sinfonera from San Francisco and composer and conductor from Guatemala and soloist I think also from Guatemala and marimba and piano. right, I saw that. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:30 Highlight the passage at 1:28:30

1:28:49 know, I know, it's just Report an error in the passage at 1:28:49 Highlight the passage at 1:28:49

1:28:54 and then tuesday is also like monday and then i think the final day is just three workshops in the morning and three in the afternoon it's wednesday yeah Report an error in the passage at 1:28:54 Highlight the passage at 1:28:54

1:29:02 it's like the most simple and the second most simple and then the middle of this total insanity and then so see. But I'm kind of thinking that Sunday I think is going to be like our way, our day of working out all the kinks in the system. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:02 Highlight the passage at 1:29:02

1:29:15 So actually I'm really happy that it's like that set up. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:15 Highlight the passage at 1:29:15

1:29:22 see. That's cool. So the Report an error in the passage at 1:29:22 Highlight the passage at 1:29:22

1:29:37 anger I struggle with most... Report an error in the passage at 1:29:37 Highlight the passage at 1:29:37

1:29:44 father similar yours, and that's been like a-year struggle to transform long-term. Yeah, for me what really helped a lot was gaining some understanding of Not necessarily my own, but thinking about the fact that he had caused so much negative karma and that that's going to cause him so much suffering. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:44 Highlight the passage at 1:29:44

1:30:29 That's, I think, in a way, that contemplation of compassion, that develops compassion in my heart for him. And what I was just saying about knowing that he had no control and that this otherwise very... This kind, generous, good-hearted person lost so much because of it, you know? I mean, just with us. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:29 Highlight the passage at 1:30:29

1:30:55 I think a lot of people, in my dad's case, it was sort of one of those situations where it was like the secret behind closed doors. I think a lot of his friends just saw him as like this good-natured guy. He passed away when he was quite young. Now, at the time, I think he was quite young because I was quite young. But he's 59. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:55 Highlight the passage at 1:30:55

1:31:13 He's frighteningly young now that I'm old, but he had this enormous funeral because he had friends everywhere. So many people thought of him as such a great person to be around. But then those of us behind closed doors saw this whole different side of him. And I think it hurt him. I think he knew that he drove people away in that way, and I think he didn't want to be. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:13 Highlight the passage at 1:31:13

1:31:36 I think he was hurt by his death. So all of those contemplations sort of allowed my heart to soften. To him. But like you said, it's just like a, I mean, it's not something, I actually do feel like I did, you know, I forgave him a long time ago because I know that he created so much, he created more seeds of anger to come back at him. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:36 Highlight the passage at 1:31:36

1:32:01 And that, no, I wouldn't wish that down on anybody, you know. So just that causes, you know, me to have compassion for him. But it is. There's a lot of things that will work for you and a lot of things that won't. So it's just kind of like different tools and you just try them out and try them a lot. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:01 Highlight the passage at 1:32:01

1:32:22 Has anybody else had a situation like this that they've been able to use any methods to soften your heart a little bit? Oh, pass the mic. Sorry, we started again. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:22 Highlight the passage at 1:32:22

1:32:47 You can disguise your voice like this. It's okay. We could turn it off. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Well, I'm not sure that mine was all that was shattering either, but I said it anyway. Did you want to say something to me? No, I wouldn't. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:47 Highlight the passage at 1:32:47

1:33:15 Okay, pass. Can you? Report an error in the passage at 1:33:15 Highlight the passage at 1:33:15

1:33:19 Oh, I spell it D-U-K-H-A. Sometimes I think it might be D-U-K-K-H-A. You'll probably find it both ways. Like Klesha, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:19 Highlight the passage at 1:33:19

1:33:56 Right. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:56 Highlight the passage at 1:33:56

1:34:11 You Report an error in the passage at 1:34:11 Highlight the passage at 1:34:11

1:34:22 know, for me, Report an error in the passage at 1:34:22 Highlight the passage at 1:34:22

1:34:38 for example, in union analysis, it's important to look at kind of who you were in relation to that person, what role you took on, and to know that that's not necessarily your authentic self. Right. Yeah. Especially if you're still doing it when you don't necessarily need to be anymore. Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:34:38 Highlight the passage at 1:34:38

1:35:18 Right. Yeah. My sister too. Report an error in the passage at 1:35:18 Highlight the passage at 1:35:18

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:35:58 know, having to repeat that Report an error in the passage at 1:35:58 Highlight the passage at 1:35:58

1:36:07 your your role often Report an error in the passage at 1:36:07 Highlight the passage at 1:36:07

1:36:13 you to more compassion. Report an error in the passage at 1:36:13 Highlight the passage at 1:36:13

1:36:19 the other person who probably never knew his, never had the ability to, took the opportunity to uncover his or her authentic self in Report an error in the passage at 1:36:19 Highlight the passage at 1:36:19

1:36:32 Yeah. I mean, in that way, it can be very sort of redeeming, you know, and powerful Report an error in the passage at 1:36:32 Highlight the passage at 1:36:32

1:36:41 Yeah, yeah. Also, just to talk about it with other people and realize how many family situations are like that. It's really sometimes so extreme. I remember my brother married a woman who... Came from a really extreme situation and she was really close to my dad and then she refused to hear anything bad about my dad because in relationship to her father. Report an error in the passage at 1:36:41 Highlight the passage at 1:36:41

1:37:08 So it's all just relative, isn't it? But there's something universal about that just to know, oh, I think that sort of just also gets you out of your own individual situation to kind of say, oh, this is just one of many situations that families are just, or just look at it in terms of this, families are destroyed by... Report an error in the passage at 1:37:08 Highlight the passage at 1:37:08

1:37:27 These this mental affliction gone crazy. I mean, everything that's ever happened that's negative in the world has started with somebody's mental affliction, somebody not controlling their mind. So if you look at it that way, then you can also see it in a different way. That's like a different way of kind of looking at it rather than the heaviness of this is my family and this so much pain, me, mine, and that somehow I caused it or that I, you know, all that stuff that we also do. Report an error in the passage at 1:37:27 Highlight the passage at 1:37:27

1:38:00 Myriad of different, yeah. Right, right. Yeah, and sometimes, and Report an error in the passage at 1:38:00 Highlight the passage at 1:38:00

1:38:17 if they are, then all the kids are there. Report an error in the passage at 1:38:17 Highlight the passage at 1:38:17

1:38:25 But you know what too, that's relative because I remember our family was the happy family for... Like I was just talking about for my sister-in-law, but also for my brother's best friend, who like came and lived with us because his family was hell on wheels. He was like, I love your parents, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:38:25 Highlight the passage at 1:38:25

1:38:43 And I was like over at my best friends because I was like, your parents are so much, you know. So then there's that too. Report an error in the passage at 1:38:43 Highlight the passage at 1:38:43

1:38:53 Totally, yeah. Totally, yeah. Yeah, if my sister-in-law were to do it, then she would definitely visualize my dad as friend, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:38:53 Highlight the passage at 1:38:53

1:39:05 The state of mind when you squished him. Yeah, anyway, so just some ways, just beginning to think about it differently. But yeah, maybe try this and see if you can work with that kind. There was actually when it was recorded too, when we did a series on different mental afflictions and one of them was resentment versus anger. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:05 Highlight the passage at 1:39:05

1:39:31 I think we had anger also. Who did resentment? I think it was John Lando who did resentment actually. The second talk. So they're uploaded, so you could also listen to his talk. I didn't get to hear it at all either, and that's one that I do really well too. I perfected it. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:31 Highlight the passage at 1:39:31

1:40:00 Yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:00 Highlight the passage at 1:40:00

1:40:18 And we aren't them, and we aren't those mental afflictions, yeah. I think one Report an error in the passage at 1:40:18 Highlight the passage at 1:40:18

1:40:12 know, I know. But we all all Report an error in the passage at 1:40:12 Highlight the passage at 1:40:12

1:40:21 It's really important. Yes, totally. That's really powerful. And for ourselves to not do that. Because so often we identify with the things that we do or think or that arise in our minds and we think that's me. So if I get, you know, if I tend to be depressed, then I think I'm depressed. And that's how I label myself. Or even physical we do. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:21 Highlight the passage at 1:40:21

1:40:47 I get migraines. I am a migraine sufferer. How limiting, you know. It's just like one thing about you that you happen to get migraines, you know. And this is just one thing about your dad, you know. He was all these other things, too. That's useful. I think that's quite useful. And I remember doing that about my dad, too. And then kind of discovering that when you got rid of that, then the quality is kind of outshone. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:47 Highlight the passage at 1:40:47

1:41:13 and, um... You know, we all tended to think my mom was like the nice parent, but actually my dad was more interesting in a lot of ways. His interests were more interesting. His sort of passion for life was more interesting in a lot of ways. You knew where you stood with him. For good and for bad. But anyway. Yeah, so just thinking about the fact that your dad is not his anger or was not his anger if he's still around. Report an error in the passage at 1:41:13 Highlight the passage at 1:41:13

1:41:42 So we're just going to do a short little meditation on anger, of your own anger. And this will be your, you get to think about anger over Thanksgiving. That's great. That was really good, Chokyi. Sorry about that. Yeah, it's true. There'll probably be lots of, lots of, well, those of us that are working the conference, this might come up front. Report an error in the passage at 1:41:42 Highlight the passage at 1:41:42

1:42:05 Christine's actually assisting me with volunteer coordination, so they'll probably have some ample opportunity to practice these. So just starting, just kind of breathe out all that stuff we were just talking about and let your mind kind of come to neutral again. Report an error in the passage at 1:42:05 Highlight the passage at 1:42:05

1:42:28 And just try to think about a certain time in your life when you've come under the control of anger, like in a really big way. It doesn't have to be like you burned the house down or something like that, but just so you can remember the way it felt. It could have been today. Report an error in the passage at 1:42:28 Highlight the passage at 1:42:28

1:42:48 So it doesn't have to be like a really huge time in your life. Report an error in the passage at 1:42:48 Highlight the passage at 1:42:48

1:42:56 But just so that you can think about or remember again how it felt in your body and how it felt in your mind, what it caused you to feel, Report an error in the passage at 1:42:56 Highlight the passage at 1:42:56

1:43:12 whether it made you, you know, did you get hot with anger? Did you have that experience? Did you have a wish to hurt somebody? Report an error in the passage at 1:43:12 Highlight the passage at 1:43:12

1:43:30 Did your mind feel really agitated? Report an error in the passage at 1:43:30 Highlight the passage at 1:43:30

1:43:43 Did you say something that you regret? Due to the anger or do something. Report an error in the passage at 1:43:43 Highlight the passage at 1:43:43

1:44:06 You can think about different times that you were angry or that other people that you live with or work with were angry and what that looks like. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:06 Highlight the passage at 1:44:06

1:44:19 How that feels in a room. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:19 Highlight the passage at 1:44:19

1:44:25 How that changes the ability to communicate. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:25 Highlight the passage at 1:44:25

1:44:35 How it sort of shuts down energy. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:35 Highlight the passage at 1:44:35

1:44:57 And if it feels right, you can allow yourself to feel regret for the anger. Just from the point of view that you've had, just from the point of view of burning up your own happiness, creating the seeds for more anger in your mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:57 Highlight the passage at 1:44:57

1:45:16 So regret from that point of view, even if you don't yet feel regret for anything that you said or did under its control. And Report an error in the passage at 1:45:16 Highlight the passage at 1:45:16

1:45:46 then think a little bit about some of the disadvantages of anger. Just analyzing whether or not you found this to be true. For yourself or if you've noticed it in others. Report an error in the passage at 1:45:46 Highlight the passage at 1:45:46

1:46:03 Anger makes even the most beautiful person appear unattractive. So think about the people that you've seen getting angry and what that looked like or imagining yourself when you were angry and how that might have looked to the people around you. Report an error in the passage at 1:46:03 Highlight the passage at 1:46:03

1:46:29 Is that the way you want them to remember you? And Report an error in the passage at 1:46:29 Highlight the passage at 1:46:29

1:46:52 then think about the fact that anger can destroy our physical health as well. As our mental health, our mental peace of mind, Report an error in the passage at 1:46:52 Highlight the passage at 1:46:52

1:47:06 contributing to heart attacks, high blood pressure, putting our body under a lot of stress, Report an error in the passage at 1:47:06 Highlight the passage at 1:47:06

1:47:27 sometimes making it impossible to sleep at night. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:27 Highlight the passage at 1:47:27

1:47:41 And anger definitely makes us lose any sense of discrimination. We can't think clearly. We act rashly, sometimes harmfully. And then we regret them later. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:41 Highlight the passage at 1:47:41

1:48:15 Anger makes you lose friends. Nobody wants to be around a person who's always angry. And those of us that have been around people that are angry all the time definitely know that. Report an error in the passage at 1:48:15 Highlight the passage at 1:48:15

1:48:47 Anger creates enemies. If you harm somebody, they don't trust you in the same way. And they might want to harm you back, but they definitely don't want to help you. Report an error in the passage at 1:48:47 Highlight the passage at 1:48:47

1:48:58 They pull away from you. Report an error in the passage at 1:48:58 Highlight the passage at 1:48:58

1:49:19 And think about the fact that there's no chance for us to be happy when we're angry. The two minds can't exist in the same. Report an error in the passage at 1:49:19 Highlight the passage at 1:49:19

1:49:34 So if we really want to be happy and we're fueling this anger, we're poisoning our own wish to be happy. Report an error in the passage at 1:49:34 Highlight the passage at 1:49:34

1:49:56 They say that anger destroys the causes for our future happiness by burning up positive karma, positive energy that we've created. Report an error in the passage at 1:49:56 Highlight the passage at 1:49:56

1:50:08 So it's not only making us miserable right now, but it actually adds to our misery of the future. Report an error in the passage at 1:50:08 Highlight the passage at 1:50:08

1:50:20 Pleasure of the future. Report an error in the passage at 1:50:20 Highlight the passage at 1:50:20

1:50:34 Anger has a really destructive nature. When it dominates your mind, you want to harm people and things. Report an error in the passage at 1:50:34 Highlight the passage at 1:50:34

1:50:47 It can actually lead to huge harm. Report an error in the passage at 1:50:47 Highlight the passage at 1:50:47

1:50:55 Battles, feuds, even wars come out of anger. Report an error in the passage at 1:50:55 Highlight the passage at 1:50:55

1:51:13 And karmically, they say that anger leads to a lot of different results, including not being nice to look at. Report an error in the passage at 1:51:13 Highlight the passage at 1:51:13

1:51:26 They say beauty comes from patience. Report an error in the passage at 1:51:26 Highlight the passage at 1:51:26

1:51:33 They say with an angry mind all the time that we create the causes to be surrounded by anger, to live in places that are permeated with anger. Report an error in the passage at 1:51:33 Highlight the passage at 1:51:33

1:51:52 If we're constantly fighting that we create the causes to be surrounded by constant fighting. And Report an error in the passage at 1:51:52 Highlight the passage at 1:51:52

1:52:09 then we keep creating, this is the worst one, we keep creating the habit to get angry over and over again. It becomes the easiest thing for our mind to do because we've practiced it so much. So Report an error in the passage at 1:52:09 Highlight the passage at 1:52:09

1:52:35 with all these disadvantages, we have to think, what use is anger to me? Report an error in the passage at 1:52:35 Highlight the passage at 1:52:35

1:52:45 I have to stop it when it arises and I have to learn how to purify the damage that I do when it arises. Report an error in the passage at 1:52:45 Highlight the passage at 1:52:45

1:53:04 So we really have to see that the main enemy that we have is the anger itself. Report an error in the passage at 1:53:04 Highlight the passage at 1:53:04

1:53:14 That's what causes our problems. Report an error in the passage at 1:53:14 Highlight the passage at 1:53:14

1:53:20 So when it arises to not trust it, to not follow it blindly like we've been doing lifetime after lifetime, Report an error in the passage at 1:53:20 Highlight the passage at 1:53:20

1:53:35 to set some strong determination for at least a short amount of time to not get angry no matter what happens and then to try to lengthen that amount of time. Report an error in the passage at 1:53:35 Highlight the passage at 1:53:35

1:53:48 Or as one teacher said, to have a conversation with anger, to actually talk to anger because we follow anger blindly. And at some point we have to realize that anger isn't our friend. It's something that deceives us, we Report an error in the passage at 1:53:48 Highlight the passage at 1:53:48

1:54:12 don't really want it in our mind stream anymore. Report an error in the passage at 1:54:12 Highlight the passage at 1:54:12

1:54:26 So we dedicate any merit that we've created by just meditating on anger, the disadvantages of anger, and also discussing how anger works in the mind and how it affects the way we feel about ourselves and also different family environments, group environments. Anger is so destructive and it's one of the most useful things that we can do to take it on and to decide that we don't want it. Report an error in the passage at 1:54:26 Highlight the passage at 1:54:26

1:55:01 To start training our mind not to get angry. Not so much to repress it but simply to analyze so that when it arises we don't just follow it blindly. Report an error in the passage at 1:55:01 Highlight the passage at 1:55:01

1:55:16 With the net result, hopefully, of being able to train our mind so that we can have a positive. Response to certain things that happen rather than this painful, harmful, destructive one. When Report an error in the passage at 1:55:16 Highlight the passage at 1:55:16

1:55:49 you're ready, you can end your meditation. Report an error in the passage at 1:55:49 Highlight the passage at 1:55:49

1:55:55 And we'll end the class. And thank you very much. I do want to make an announcement that during the conference, I guess it's from Friday. I actually think there is anything tomorrow. So I guess it's from tonight. From tonight through. Report an error in the passage at 1:55:55 Highlight the passage at 1:55:55

1:56:19 Tuesday, I think, is the first class again. We have a very limited class schedule. I think the drop-in meditations are still happening during the, Tuesday the 2nd, I should say, the 2nd of December. So during the next week, we have a very limited schedule. So just to check if you're on your way over here to make sure something is really happening. It's all on the website. Report an error in the passage at 1:56:19 Highlight the passage at 1:56:19

1:56:40 I know that the Saturday morning drop-in and the Tuesday evening drop-ins are still happening. But I think that might be it. um so So just to check. I think the other thing that is going to happen is next Sunday we do have the Sunday morning talk and Sunday school is still going to happen. We have a Sunday school now. Report an error in the passage at 1:56:40 Highlight the passage at 1:56:40

1:57:01 It's really cool. All these little kids. It's great. They draw stupids and stuff. You know, it's cool. Anyway, so just to check if you're on your way over just to make sure that somebody's actually here so that you don't waste a trip and come over and instead come over to the... To the conference. Thanks and have a great Thanksgiving. So could you hand out the homework? And then this is a Thanksgiving present. Report an error in the passage at 1:57:01 Highlight the passage at 1:57:01

1:57:35 This is another book by Lama Che. I know, I'm just so thankful that, I mean, Janet gave this, you know, donated the money for us to get these. And so Janet, we'll have to bring her in so that everybody can applaud her. She's gone off to work on her mind for almost two months, actually. She's going to do a retreat for a month, and then she's going to come back at Christmas, and then she's going to pilgrimage for a month. Report an error in the passage at 1:57:35 Highlight the passage at 1:57:35

1:58:04 But this is a book. It's also another collection of talks and meditations and so forth by Lama Yeshe. It's called The Peaceful Stillness of the Silent Mind, Buddhism, Mind, and Meditation. So everybody can take one. Thanks, and have a happy Thanksgiving. Report an error in the passage at 1:58:04 Highlight the passage at 1:58:04

1:58:27 I love him. I do too. I think I must have been a student at some point. He was meant to be, they say that the life that he had before this one, that he was an abbess of a nunnery, and I think I must have been one of those nuns. I definitely had some, I missed him in this life, but I definitely have strong karma with him. Report an error in the passage at 1:58:27 Highlight the passage at 1:58:27

1:59:03 Yeah, let's leave him as is. He's at the door. Report an error in the passage at 1:59:03 Highlight the passage at 1:59:03

1:59:14 Somebody has a key. So Report an error in the passage at 1:59:14 Highlight the passage at 1:59:14

1:59:31 Chokyi, I could come tomorrow. Report an error in the passage at 1:59:31 Highlight the passage at 1:59:31