Discovering Buddhism - Transforming Problems (24 July 2008)

0:16 We'll see. I've had this massive chest cold, so it has been reduced to just occasionally out of the blue without any warning, sending me into spasms of coughing, of which I have to like try to recover from. So if that happens, don't be alarmed. Don't start asking me questions, which is what everyone always does. Just wait patiently and hopefully I'll go back to normal. Report an error in the passage at 0:16 Highlight the passage at 0:16

0:44 Yeah, big time. It was right after. His Holiness' teachings. The Tuesday night meditation was somewhat frightening for that matter, but we recovered. I think the two moms in the room didn't have any problem with it, but the other people might have been a little more frightened. Report an error in the passage at 0:44 Highlight the passage at 0:44

1:08 All right, so we're going to start, actually, let's start with the opening prayer tonight, and then I'm going to lead you guys in a meditation that's really going to go through A little more in depth, the two verses that we did last week. And I'm sorry, I'm going to be sucking on a lozenge throughout. Report an error in the passage at 1:08 Highlight the passage at 1:08

1:36 So it'll go a lot more into karma and emptiness. And we're going to just spend more time at that, but we'll spend that time in meditation. So let's go ahead and do the opening prayer by His Holiness. And that'll help us sort of begin to get our mind in the right direction. so, um... Report an error in the passage at 1:36 Highlight the passage at 1:36

1:56 And then when we finish we can open up for questions. Report an error in the passage at 1:56 Highlight the passage at 1:56

2:02 With a wish to free all beings, I shall always go for refuge to Buddha, Dharma and Saṅgha until I reach full enlightenment. Inspired by wisdom and compassion, today in the Buddha's presence I generate the mind of full awakening for the benefit of all sentient beings. As long as space remains, as long as sentient beings remain. Report an error in the passage at 2:02 Highlight the passage at 2:02

2:27 Until then, may I too remain and dispel the miseries of the world. With the wish to free all beings, I shall always go for refuge to Buddha, Dharma and Saṅgha until I reach full enlightenment. Inspired by wisdom and compassion, today in the Buddha's presence, I generate the mind of full awakening for the benefit of all sentient beings. Report an error in the passage at 2:27 Highlight the passage at 2:27

2:54 As long as space remains, As long as sentient beings remain, until then may I too remain to dispel the mysteries of the world. With a wish to free all beings, I shall always go for refuge to Buddha, Dharma and Saṅgha until I reach full enlightenment, inspired by wisdom and compassion. Today in the Buddha's presence, I generate the mind of full awakening for the benefit of all sentient beings. Report an error in the passage at 2:54 Highlight the passage at 2:54

3:27 As long as space remains, as long as entient beings remain, until then may I too remain and dispel the miseries of the world. I'm Report an error in the passage at 3:27 Highlight the passage at 3:27

3:45 going to get this one ready, just in case. Report an error in the passage at 3:45 Highlight the passage at 3:45

3:55 There's this great herbal tea called Herbatussin, which is really wonderful for the throat, if anybody should ever need to know. We discovered it one morning at Puja when I was having a massive fit. Report an error in the passage at 3:55 Highlight the passage at 3:55

4:10 Okay, so let's just calm the mind a little bit with some nice deep breaths and start finding your posture. Report an error in the passage at 4:10 Highlight the passage at 4:10

4:25 You might do some shoulder rolls or stretch your neck from side to side and Report an error in the passage at 4:25 Highlight the passage at 4:25

4:41 imagine every in-breath is just cleansing away your whole day, washing away whatever might distract you or your sluggishness, your distractedness and Report an error in the passage at 4:41 Highlight the passage at 4:41

5:03 replacing it with new... Focus, awareness, attention, alertness, energy. Report an error in the passage at 5:03 Highlight the passage at 5:03

5:35 And then I'll just review the posture. So you just especially want to focus on your spine, keeping your back extended. Report an error in the passage at 5:35 Highlight the passage at 5:35

5:51 Your legs can be in whatever position works for you, as long as it feels comfortable and you feel stable. Report an error in the passage at 5:51 Highlight the passage at 5:51

6:03 Hands in your lap, right over left, thumbs touching lightly. Report an error in the passage at 6:03 Highlight the passage at 6:03

6:10 Or you can have them on your knees. Report an error in the passage at 6:10 Highlight the passage at 6:10

6:17 Head just slightly tucked forward, Report an error in the passage at 6:17 Highlight the passage at 6:17

6:26 eyes open and unfocused, just gazing off the end of your nose, tongue on the roof of your mouth, jaw relaxed, Report an error in the passage at 6:26 Highlight the passage at 6:26

6:43 and breathing relaxed and unforced. Report an error in the passage at 6:43 Highlight the passage at 6:43

6:50 And we'll just start with a short meditation on the breath, just at whatever level works for you, either the level of your belly or your nostril, your chest. Report an error in the passage at 6:50 Highlight the passage at 6:50

7:04 And just focus on your breath, out breath, in breath. Report an error in the passage at 7:04 Highlight the passage at 7:04

7:10 Trying to just strengthen your concentration a little bit. And Report an error in the passage at 7:10 Highlight the passage at 7:10

· · · silence, 2 minutes

9:04 as your mind begins to calm down a little, Report an error in the passage at 9:04 Highlight the passage at 9:04

9:10 we'll focus on the fourth and fifth verses that we talked about last week. Report an error in the passage at 9:10 Highlight the passage at 9:10

9:22 A little bit about karma and emptiness. Report an error in the passage at 9:22 Highlight the passage at 9:22

9:30 Whenever I meet a person of bad nature who is overwhelmed by negative energy and intense suffering, I will hold such a rare one dear as if I had found a precious treasure. Do Report an error in the passage at 9:30 Highlight the passage at 9:30

9:51 you have somebody like this in your life? Report an error in the passage at 9:51 Highlight the passage at 9:51

9:57 A person of bad nature. Report an error in the passage at 9:57 Highlight the passage at 9:57

10:02 Somebody who's overwhelmed by their own mental afflictions. Difficult to be around. Report an error in the passage at 10:02 Highlight the passage at 10:02

10:15 Maybe it's a really angry person at work or Report an error in the passage at 10:15 Highlight the passage at 10:15

10:21 a crazy street person or Report an error in the passage at 10:21 Highlight the passage at 10:21

10:27 a sibling or a parent or a child. And Report an error in the passage at 10:27 Highlight the passage at 10:27

10:45 you try to change the way that you see them. Maybe you don't see them in the same way. Really try to see them differently. Report an error in the passage at 10:45 Highlight the passage at 10:45

11:07 This might get us away from seeing them as... My problem and instead starting to see them as my responsibility, my sentient being. This is one that I'm working for as well. Report an error in the passage at 11:07 Highlight the passage at 11:07

11:36 This verse is also primarily about karma and emptiness. Report an error in the passage at 11:36 Highlight the passage at 11:36

11:45 The Buddha taught that that person doesn't exist out there apart from me, absolutely. Report an error in the passage at 11:45 Highlight the passage at 11:45

11:57 Not everyone who comes into contact with that person thinks that they're annoying. Report an error in the passage at 11:57 Highlight the passage at 11:57

12:13 The fact that that person isn't inherently wonderful or annoying from their own side means they're empty of that. That's their emptiness. Report an error in the passage at 12:13 Highlight the passage at 12:13

12:27 It doesn't mean they don't exist at all. It means they don't exist the way I see them. Report an error in the passage at 12:27 Highlight the passage at 12:27

12:38 My karma is forcing me to see him in that way. Report an error in the passage at 12:38 Highlight the passage at 12:38

12:46 And I created my karma by the actions that I've done. Report an error in the passage at 12:46 Highlight the passage at 12:46

13:02 This doesn't mean that he's a figment of my imagination. Or that he doesn't exist at all. Or that he's a dream. Report an error in the passage at 13:02 Highlight the passage at 13:02

13:19 And it just means he doesn't exist the way I think he does. So solidly, absolutely, inherently from his own side. Report an error in the passage at 13:19 Highlight the passage at 13:19

13:41 When my karma changes, my perception of him changes as well. Report an error in the passage at 13:41 Highlight the passage at 13:41

13:59 Think about times that you've been drawn to somebody in the past, almost illogically. And everything about them seems amazingly wonderful. Report an error in the passage at 13:59 Highlight the passage at 13:59

14:11 You love every little thing about them, everything that they do, every hair on their head, even the way they breathe, and then suddenly everything begins to change and everything about them annoys you. Report an error in the passage at 14:11 Highlight the passage at 14:11

14:39 The Buddha would say this is karma ripening and then exhausting, just like that. And Report an error in the passage at 14:39 Highlight the passage at 14:39

14:53 it happens for people and it happens for things, it happens for places, it happens for work, values. Ideas. Report an error in the passage at 14:53 Highlight the passage at 14:53

15:20 And it's the same with the suffering creature in front of you. The angry boss. The person on the bus. The annoying sister. Report an error in the passage at 15:20 Highlight the passage at 15:20

15:40 Our karma might force us to see him as a monster, but he's not a monster from his own side. Report an error in the passage at 15:40 Highlight the passage at 15:40

15:51 From our side, he's the creation of our own negative mind and karma. And from his side, he's the complex creation of his own karma. Report an error in the passage at 15:51 Highlight the passage at 15:51

16:13 According to Master Shantideva, the way that you get rid of annoying people or angry people or difficult people is to realize that you've karmically created them and to be kind to them and to stop reacting to them in angry or negative ways. Report an error in the passage at 16:13 Highlight the passage at 16:13

16:48 And then gradually as we work with our mind and our life and we stop creating the causes to have people like this in our lives, the people in our lives change. Report an error in the passage at 16:48 Highlight the passage at 16:48

17:04 This is actually how we become enlightened. And Report an error in the passage at 17:04 Highlight the passage at 17:04

17:20 we develop the wisdom of understanding how karma and emptiness works and the patience that we need and the qualities that we need to get enlightened exactly from people like this. And that's why he's a precious treasure. He shows me my own mind. He teaches me patience and compassion. And he helps me understand how karma works. Report an error in the passage at 17:20 Highlight the passage at 17:20

18:05 When others out of jealousy mistreat me with abuse, slander and so on, I will practice accepting defeat and offer the victory to them. Report an error in the passage at 18:05 Highlight the passage at 18:05

18:34 So most ordinary beings respond to violence or anger with the same, and this is how we escalate problems. Report an error in the passage at 18:34 Highlight the passage at 18:34

18:49 But according to how karma and emptiness works, it's illogical to respond in that way. It just perpetuates it, keeps it in our... Life, it keeps us in cyclic existence. It keeps angry people in our lives. Report an error in the passage at 18:49 Highlight the passage at 18:49

19:16 It's better to take the defeat and offer the victory, which helps the current problem that finishes the karma, plants a positive imprint for future happiness and creates the habit to respond in this way. Report an error in the passage at 19:16 Highlight the passage at 19:16

19:38 It's taking a long view, Report an error in the passage at 19:38 Highlight the passage at 19:38

19:44 going for full enlightenment and not getting distracted by... All the little petty problems, the petty conflicts. Report an error in the passage at 19:44 Highlight the passage at 19:44

20:00 It's like going for the bigger victory. Report an error in the passage at 20:00 Highlight the passage at 20:00

20:06 It's also letting go of that need to be right all the time. Or better than. So Report an error in the passage at 20:06 Highlight the passage at 20:06

20:21 when this comes up for you, remember karma. I created this. This is coming back at me because I created the causes. Report an error in the passage at 20:21 Highlight the passage at 20:21

20:37 And it's not always big stuff. It's little stuff. It's people blaming you at work for stuff you didn't do. Or pointing out your faults. Report an error in the passage at 20:37 Highlight the passage at 20:37

20:50 Our roommates complaining about you not doing the dishes, even when you did them. This is still karma. Report an error in the passage at 20:50 Highlight the passage at 20:50

21:02 It doesn't mean it's not happening. It means it's not happening the way we're used to thinking that it's happening. The poor, pitiful me way. Report an error in the passage at 21:02 Highlight the passage at 21:02

21:22 Whatever you're experiencing is not out there separate from you. Report an error in the passage at 21:22 Highlight the passage at 21:22

21:32 If you're receiving criticism, you created it with critical seeds. Report an error in the passage at 21:32 Highlight the passage at 21:32

21:46 By continually fighting and trying to gain every victory. It just keeps creating more and more negative karma. So Report an error in the passage at 21:46 Highlight the passage at 21:46

22:01 instead we try to change our response. Take the defeat, offer the victory. Report an error in the passage at 22:01 Highlight the passage at 22:01

22:11 And that way we don't create any more negative karma. We stop hurting others. And we take the long view. Report an error in the passage at 22:11 Highlight the passage at 22:11

22:31 You can also use any of these problems to destroy your own self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 22:31 Highlight the passage at 22:31

22:39 Remembering that by following self-cherishing thought, that's how you created this in the first place. That's how we created this karma. Report an error in the passage at 22:39 Highlight the passage at 22:39

22:51 And as long as we have self-cherishing thought in our mind, there's no room to generate bodhicitta. Report an error in the passage at 22:51 Highlight the passage at 22:51

23:10 And all the other delusions arise due to self-cherishing mind. Report an error in the passage at 23:10 Highlight the passage at 23:10

23:34 So whatever problems come to you, hand them off to your self-cherishing mind. Use them to destroy your self-cherishing mind. You Report an error in the passage at 23:34 Highlight the passage at 23:34

23:52 can think this problem's coming to me due to my self-cherishing, and Report an error in the passage at 23:52 Highlight the passage at 23:52

24:00 I'm going to use it to destroy my self-cherishing. The only reason I still have problems is due to my self-cherishing. My indifference to others. My constantly thinking about myself. And sometime, somewhere, I have to turn this around. Report an error in the passage at 24:00 Highlight the passage at 24:00

24:20 Why not now? Report an error in the passage at 24:20 Highlight the passage at 24:20

24:31 If you have any confidence in karma, remember that if you're having any problem where someone's taking advantage of you, it's coming from karma. It's coming from your acts in the past. It's not coming from you taking the loss and offering the victory. Report an error in the passage at 24:31 Highlight the passage at 24:31

24:53 That result comes later. Report an error in the passage at 24:53 Highlight the passage at 24:53

25:00 That's the way karma works. Report an error in the passage at 25:00 Highlight the passage at 25:00

25:12 The best way to get rid of people who try to exploit you or blame you or criticize you is to serve them, to be kind to them and to take the loss. And then as your bad karma runs out, you stop having people like this in your life. Report an error in the passage at 25:12 Highlight the passage at 25:12

25:49 As baby bodhisattvas, we keep trying to serve others and to offer them all our happiness and ultimately it's the only way that we can become happy ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 25:49 Highlight the passage at 25:49

26:02 Without any conditions. Report an error in the passage at 26:02 Highlight the passage at 26:02

26:18 It's taught that you have to have two attitudes when you take the loss. First, you have to enjoy it. You have to have a good time and realize that this act is going to get you to a Buddha paradise. Report an error in the passage at 26:18 Highlight the passage at 26:18

26:32 And second, you don't have any regrets. Not now and not later. Report an error in the passage at 26:32 Highlight the passage at 26:32

26:41 Whenever your mind questions what you're doing, you just tell it to shut up. Report an error in the passage at 26:41 Highlight the passage at 26:41

26:50 Having regrets just destroys the virtue you just created by taking the loss. Report an error in the passage at 26:50 Highlight the passage at 26:50

27:05 Lama Zopa Rinpoche also says that when you're constantly praised or if conditions are too wonderful, you're in danger of losing the Dharma. Report an error in the passage at 27:05 Highlight the passage at 27:05

27:15 Whereas when you're having a really difficult time, it's a great opportunity to practice. So it's a cause to result, to rejoice. He Report an error in the passage at 27:15 Highlight the passage at 27:15

27:38 also says problems are just another form of teaching. It's teaching me that if I don't like this problem, I have to abandon its causes, which is my own non-virtue. Report an error in the passage at 27:38 Highlight the passage at 27:38

27:53 So in this way, every problem that we ever have teaches us about karma and emptiness and how it works. Report an error in the passage at 27:53 Highlight the passage at 27:53

28:13 If we don't want suffering, we have to abandon non-virtue. Geshe-la says this all the time. If we want happiness, we have to create the causes. Report an error in the passage at 28:13 Highlight the passage at 28:13

28:29 We give up the need to be right and ultimately we gain everything. Report an error in the passage at 28:29 Highlight the passage at 28:29

28:49 So we can motivate tonight's class to being able to realize these verses, even though they're difficult to apply. In this lifetime, Report an error in the passage at 28:49 Highlight the passage at 28:49

29:03 not just sitting here on the cushion, but at work, on the bus, on the streets, in our cars, in our families and Report an error in the passage at 29:03 Highlight the passage at 29:03

29:16 use whatever comes to us because of our karma to get enlightened so that we can benefit all beings. If Report an error in the passage at 29:16 Highlight the passage at 29:16

29:41 you're ready, you can end your meditation and open your eyes. Report an error in the passage at 29:41 Highlight the passage at 29:41

· · · silence, 1 minute

30:22 Does anyone have any questions about those verses? Which some of you have been meditating on or at least trying to meditate on this week. Or at least hopefully some of you have been meditating on this week. Report an error in the passage at 30:22 Highlight the passage at 30:22

30:44 Gina, can you grab it or shove it? Report an error in the passage at 30:44 Highlight the passage at 30:44

30:54 So let's see if... No, I think it's on. Is it on? Is it on? Yeah, okay. So let's see if I can do this somewhat abstractly rather than getting into too much detail. But in the situation I'm at, dealing with at work... If I were to allow myself to be exploited the way that my colleagues would like to, then that would result in my students not getting what they really need. Report an error in the passage at 30:54 Highlight the passage at 30:54

31:24 And I suspect that's not all that unusual in a situation, right? That if one finds oneself in a situation where you are caught between opposing forces, Report an error in the passage at 31:24 Highlight the passage at 31:24

31:40 I mean it's Tonight was very useful. I can see how I've gotten drawn into conflict and it will be really helpful to not engage that way and that will lessen tensions and certainly help in the long run. But it's still the case that I can't... If I were to allow myself to be exploited the way that they would like to, then the students would really suffer. Report an error in the passage at 31:40 Highlight the passage at 31:40

32:18 I think you have to, there's a couple ways to think about it. One is to use every, even so, to use every opportunity, so every time that it feels like a co-worker is trying to exploit you. or is trying to confront you on something, to still remember karma and emptiness, still remember how I played a role in this, because that's the really big teaching of karma and emptiness. Report an error in the passage at 32:18 Highlight the passage at 32:18

32:47 It gets us out of that feeling of feeling victimized. It also gets us out of that feeling of seeing that person as an inherent monster. Report an error in the passage at 32:47 Highlight the passage at 32:47

32:58 So it's just one tool because the other tool is also just seeing that person. As the person who is also one that we hold dear, we talked about that one too, they are completely overtaken by their mental afflictions and so unable to control them and so they're also the object of my compassion. So this is a second tool of looking at the whole situation in terms of karma and emptiness, which is always useful. Report an error in the passage at 32:58 Highlight the passage at 32:58

33:39 I think if you do that, you will be able to see that. Report an error in the passage at 33:39 Highlight the passage at 33:39

33:49 I think just from your description, there's a solidity already in your mind about the situation, that there's never a time that you could ever give up the victory in these particular instances. And for me, what I would hope is that if you can remember karma and emptiness, It can give you a little more space for maybe dealing with it in a little more creative way. Because if you're constantly thinking, well, I have to go on into battle with this person because for the sake of the kids. Report an error in the passage at 33:49 Highlight the passage at 33:49

34:24 What if it's not? What if it's also for the sake of your own ego? So that's where I would just hazard, you know, just to be a little more cautious. Use it as a chance to analyze. And to really look at what's going on, what your motivation is and what's happening in that particular situation. Actually, I think that really... Report an error in the passage at 34:24 Highlight the passage at 34:24

34:42 But wait a second, one more second. It's never saying to be a doormat. And it's definitely never saying to be a doormat if you are protecting somebody weaker than you. So none of the teachings on karma and emptiness are ever saying to roll over and play dead. They're saying to use our wisdom. But that wisdom is the wisdom based on the Buddhist teachings. So if you're all of these teachings that I'm telling you guys are all based on the Buddhist teachings, they aren't anything from my head. Report an error in the passage at 34:42 Highlight the passage at 34:42

35:11 And so it's up to you to check them out and to try them and to see what happens with them. But if you have any confidence at all in karma and emptiness, it helps you change the way you might go into a situation. So you aren't going into it in the same old conventional thing. Because according to the teachings of karma and emptiness, this person who is a difficult person or these staff members or these other, you know, what do you call them? Report an error in the passage at 35:11 Highlight the passage at 35:11

35:40 Colleagues. Colleagues in your field are also your karmic creation. Which means that we have to clean up our crap too. So if I'm in a lot of situations where... I'm surrounded by harsh speech, for example, or I'm surrounded by angry, aggressive people. I have to look at my anger and aggression and I have to look at my harsh speech. Report an error in the passage at 35:40 Highlight the passage at 35:40

36:03 That's where it starts. And that's where I start cleaning it up. Even if I don't see so much of it this lifetime, karmically speaking, I still created those causes. So that's kind of where you're taking the onus off. This is a situation happening to me and I, you know, like this. And you're like, wait a second, if I created this. Report an error in the passage at 36:03 Highlight the passage at 36:03

36:23 Just for a second, if I think about it in that way, how can I maybe change the way I'm approaching it that might be more creative? And also, how can I change the way that I'm living so that it doesn't happen again? Well, it makes me wonder if I can't separate it out into two parts, which is the harsh speech and so on, which I can certainly, that I can deal with and look at in terms of causes and conditions. Report an error in the passage at 36:23 Highlight the passage at 36:23

36:51 My own karma. And then the other part, which would be the getting pushed by the students and by a lot of people to be confrontational about it and just disengaging and finding other people to be involved with dealing with it because that isn't really appropriate for me. You're right, finding other, like maybe people to help mediate it or something like that. Or to be involved in finding a solution because it's not, ultimately that's not mine to deal with. Report an error in the passage at 36:51 Highlight the passage at 36:51

37:18 Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 37:18 Highlight the passage at 37:18

37:22 Anybody else? I'm sure stuff has come up. Come on, you guys. Hand it to Joe. You can't be swallowing it quite yet. It's also once you start working with it that you end up really bucking it and also finding the problems that arise with it. It's not without its difficulties. Go ahead. Could you just spend a little bit of time talking about your definition of emptiness, kind of getting the karma side? Report an error in the passage at 37:22 Highlight the passage at 37:22

37:53 I'm not exactly... Were you here last week? I was. Okay. I mean the whole next Thursday night class is going to be on emptiness. Emptiness is the most profound of the Buddha's teachings. Although Lama Zopa Rinpoche just recently said, I've actually heard him say it twice in the last two teachings that I heard him in, he said it's actually harder to generate genuine bodhicitta than it is to have a direct perception of emptiness, which I find very interesting. Report an error in the passage at 37:53 Highlight the passage at 37:53

38:23 Um... And they say the teachings on karma are actually much more complex than the teachings on emptiness, which also is surprising, although not so surprising when she started studying karma. Report an error in the passage at 38:23 Highlight the passage at 38:23

38:39 But the basic things about emptiness, there are two ways to, the Buddha taught that there are two ways to look at how things actually exist or the nature of reality. how they How they exist and how they don't exist. Emptiness is talking about how they don't exist. They don't exist in that solid, permanent, absolute way that we tend to think of them. Report an error in the passage at 38:39 Highlight the passage at 38:39

39:07 Whether it's in the way we think of our home or a life situation, a problem, pain, the guy next door, me, what I think of myself, which is often rather absolute and solid and seems like it's unchanging. Report an error in the passage at 39:07 Highlight the passage at 39:07

39:25 He said instead they exist independence upon other things, causes and conditions. They arise only independence upon other things. So my body arises, we just did this meditation on Tuesday night, a little bit. My body arises independence upon first of all the substances from my parents and then secondly all the things that go into it that keep it alive. Report an error in the passage at 39:25 Highlight the passage at 39:25

39:54 And all the things I do to keep it going, all the organs and all those things inside. So it arises independence upon causes and conditions. And that's how it exists. And that's the only way it exists. And because of that, it's completely changing all the time and it's impermanent. Report an error in the passage at 39:54 Highlight the passage at 39:54

40:13 And so it sounds like, okay, these things make sense. But the reality is, is that we, even though they may logically make sense for us to get them at a gut level, It takes a long time of contemplating them and meditating on them. And they say, actually, it begins with just meditating on gross impermanence and subtle impermanence, you know, just like the theory of relativity. Report an error in the passage at 40:13 Highlight the passage at 40:13

40:40 Really getting it that things aren't this solid thing that we think, but actually there's tons of changes happening in these things that appear to be solid, just on the physical level. Report an error in the passage at 40:40 Highlight the passage at 40:40

40:53 There's constantly this change happening and things are coming into being, abiding and going into existence all the time. Our minds are like that solidly. So when we start meditating and we spend any time looking at it, we can see the fluidity and the spaciousness in our minds. Hang on. So that's a step toward it, but it's not emptiness. Report an error in the passage at 40:53 Highlight the passage at 40:53

41:14 But it allows you to start letting go of that solid. Concrete way that we see reality. So it's like a step toward it. And then you start looking at it in terms of all the parts that make it up and how everything actually arises in dependence on parts. And then you look at it in terms of all these other levels of reality. So basically what ends up the subtlest level of... Report an error in the passage at 41:14 Highlight the passage at 41:14

41:42 existence is that things arise in dependence upon these causes and conditions and then the fact that we label them in a certain way and that's really the only way they exist. It doesn't mean that we're all like figments of imagination, but it means that all these things and people and places and ideas and belief systems and our own view of ourselves and all those things aren't this heavy, concrete, solid, absolute thing that we think that they are. Report an error in the passage at 41:42 Highlight the passage at 41:42

42:13 So that's your basic idea of emptiness. So it's my perception of impermanence. Your perceptions are created. This is the second aspect in how they marry. Your perceptions are created by the karma that you create. Along with, you know, I mean, your karma is, it's like coloring a lot of aspects of your life. Report an error in the passage at 42:13 Highlight the passage at 42:13

42:36 But definitely your perceptions of how you can see things and who's in your world are all created by your karma. And your karma is created by your actions. Report an error in the passage at 42:36 Highlight the passage at 42:36

42:48 So where's the emptiness part? The emptiness part, it's talking about two sides of the same coin. My karma is causing me to see Hilary in a certain way, caused by the seeds that I created by my deeds. So I'm seeing her in a certain way that's coloring my perception. She doesn't exist in that way. You know, we all have different karmic perceptions of Hilary. Report an error in the passage at 42:48 Highlight the passage at 42:48

43:13 I'm just choosing you because you sat in the key position that I always pick on the person in that. The same with Seishin Ling. I could say the same thing with Seishin Ling. We all have a different karmic perception of our appearance. They call it a karmic appearance. It doesn't exist. It is empty of existing in that way. That's all emptiness refers to. Report an error in the passage at 43:13 Highlight the passage at 43:13

43:35 And people fall a lot into nihilism and think that we're saying that basically every time I say Seishaling is empty of existing in that way, then I'm saying it's like this, you know, like suddenly it's like gone, like there's nothing left. All the Tonkas are gone too, you know. If I say Hillary, then suddenly she becomes a Casper or something. It's not like that. It's just simply saying, and emptiness is a funky word. Report an error in the passage at 43:35 Highlight the passage at 43:35

43:55 It's a translation. Sometimes you hear people say void, which I think is even worse. Report an error in the passage at 43:55 Highlight the passage at 43:55

44:02 Suchness. Report an error in the passage at 44:02 Highlight the passage at 44:02

44:06 Yeah, Rubina likes that one. That one doesn't work at all for me. It seems really bizarre. So it's just basically empty of existing in that way. And it does exist as a dependent arising. In other words, that's what this whole other, the way it does exist as a dependent arising. It rises in dependence upon other things. This arose in dependence upon the materials and the guys who made it and the paint and the, you know. Report an error in the passage at 44:06 Highlight the passage at 44:06

44:33 Guys who shipped it over here and, you know, like all that. It's nothing magical and mystical. But in a sense it is because it loosens our grip on everything. Report an error in the passage at 44:33 Highlight the passage at 44:33

44:44 And at first it's like you actually will get an experience at some point when you're meditating on it where it is like an earthquake. It's like, you know when you've experienced an earthquake? Who here has experienced an earthquake? See, in California you can actually say that and most people have. It actually is. It literally is like things that you thought were solid aren't solid. So you gain that perspective. Report an error in the passage at 44:44 Highlight the passage at 44:44

45:10 And I think that's really useful for Buddhism, actually. Death is like an earthquake, right? Anyone here who has experienced death, death is like an earthquake. People you thought would always be there aren't there. And emptiness is like that a billion fold. And so when you are meditating on it, you actually have that experience of where... Report an error in the passage at 45:10 Highlight the passage at 45:10

45:31 Because you lose what you thought was there, but the reality is that it was never there to begin with. And the Buddha is simply pointing it out. It's like the guy, what's the emperor's new clothes? He's simply pointing out that we're all really fiercely engaged in this complete hallucination. And we have been for lifetime after lifetime after lifetime. Report an error in the passage at 45:31 Highlight the passage at 45:31

45:54 And he's like... You guys, and that's really all, that's the basis of his teachings. They say that all of his teachings are to get us to get this. Because when we get this, when you have the direct perception of emptiness, you're on your way to enlightenment. Like you know when you're going to get enlightened, you know the details, you know what's going to happen. Report an error in the passage at 45:54 Highlight the passage at 45:54

46:17 From that point, you actually have a perception of when you will get enlightened. So you're on the conveyor belt out. So it's a really important step to take on the path. But it's not nirvāṇa and it's not enlightenment yet. It's a really good step though. We could all have that in this lifetime. We could all attain that in this lifetime. So it's a goal. Anybody else? Report an error in the passage at 46:17 Highlight the passage at 46:17

46:46 Yeah, this is just kind of a question on his question. I think I have an understanding. and know the answer, but just to affirm it and to maybe add a little bit to it. So. So in the emptiness part, like say there's somebody on the street that we see is totally annoying, right? And somebody else on the street that is like walking next to them, that's their friend, doesn't see them annoying. Report an error in the passage at 46:46 Highlight the passage at 46:46

47:14 So that's like our perception, you know, which is created by our karma. But then as far as like... Like the color of your robe is saffron red. And we all agree that we're having that same perception. Right. There is collective karma as well. Yeah. Yeah. And conventional agreement and stuff. But then there's, you know, who knows? Like Ray could be colorblind and see it as blue. Right. Right. Right. So that would be. Report an error in the passage at 47:14 Highlight the passage at 47:14

47:37 I picked on you just because I hadn't. The ones of us who see it as saffron red, that's our collective karma. Right. But, you know, like half of you guys could see it as something really beautiful and other half could see it as some weirdo religious thing and they're like trying to get out of here as quickly as they can on the break, you know. Report an error in the passage at 47:37 Highlight the passage at 47:37

47:53 So, and that's just as, I mean, try traveling wearing them. You get everything from, you know, like really sweet people in the security line. like doing that and then you get the other guys like step to the side you know and like within two seconds you're like getting everything checked and your whole bag's ripped I hate to Report an error in the passage at 47:53 Highlight the passage at 47:53

48:31 jump around, but relating back to karma, And reincarnation. I've been getting some confusion in terms of what I was reading in terms of, I understand there is a relative. You want to come in? No, you're okay. I'll call on you. I'll start using you as an example. I understand there is a relative self, but that there isn't an absolute self. Report an error in the passage at 48:31 Highlight the passage at 48:31

48:56 And yet karma. makes up for some of the circumstances. How is karma carried? There is a subtle most mind that goes from life to life. They call it a subtle most mind. The subtlest level of your mind. There's all these different levels of mind. There's gross mind, which is where we mostly are. Report an error in the passage at 48:56 Highlight the passage at 48:56

49:23 And then there's a sort of... They call it medium, something in the middle, middling level. And sometimes we can reach that in meditation, dreams. We can kind of get into that middle level. But the subtle most level, we usually don't experience it unless we're doing a really deep meditation, really, really deep meditation, or at the time of death. Report an error in the passage at 49:23 Highlight the passage at 49:23

49:49 At the time of death, we experience the subtle most level. In the end, everything dissolves. And all that's left is that subtle most level. And that subtle most level is where the karmic imprints are carried. But they aren't physical. It's not physical. So it's not like it's carrying... Sometimes I'll use the word seed because I think it's easier for us to understand, but it's not like it's carrying apple seeds or something like that. Report an error in the passage at 49:49 Highlight the passage at 49:49

50:16 Or even like, what's the thing when you're in a computer? It's not like carrying that either. It's not like memory in that sense. Report an error in the passage at 50:16 Highlight the passage at 50:16

50:25 But it's caring because mind isn't physical. Report an error in the passage at 50:25 Highlight the passage at 50:25

50:31 And mind is not the soul or a self. But mind creates the self. And we just create the self out of all the pieces that we have. So all the experience, when we come into the next life, the subtle most mind comes into the next life. It begins, you know, developing. All the grosser levels where we mostly will spend that life in that grosser levels of the mind. And we begin creating the aspects of this identity, this self, which changes too. Report an error in the passage at 50:31 Highlight the passage at 50:31

51:05 It's fluid too, right? The self that I consider now is really different from the self when I was an infant or a seven-year-old or something like that. Like we change over time too, what we think of as ourself. But we always have this idea of a self. And the Buddha taught that this idea of a self is actually just a conceptual creation. But that's getting into a whole different thing. Report an error in the passage at 51:05 Highlight the passage at 51:05

51:28 And we'll be discussed more in The Mind, which is a nice segue, which is a Discovering Buddhism class that starts off the whole series again in October. So we'll be teaching that on Thursday nights. That'll be the one that follows The Wisdom of Emptiness. Because The Wisdom of Emptiness sort of ends the series and then we start over again with The Mind. Report an error in the passage at 51:28 Highlight the passage at 51:28

51:50 So it's sort of like knowing something about emptiness when you study the mind is great. So it's never too, you know what I mean? It's a spiral. You study it and then you go around again. And each time you go around, the more understanding you have, the more every aspect of the Lama makes more sense. Report an error in the passage at 51:50 Highlight the passage at 51:50

52:09 So it's like that. But it's hard to grasp all at once. It's a different concept, though, than having like this soul, this whole idea of this. Self that goes from life to life. Chris will not be going from life to life. The mind that is right now, subtle most mind within Chris, is what will go into the next life and will become either, you know, all the aspects that flesh you out will be due to your karma. Report an error in the passage at 52:09 Highlight the passage at 52:09

52:38 So whether you'll be a human again or whether you'll be a peacock or whether you're, you know, a deva or... Tenth level bodhisattva all has to do with what you've done in this life and the lives before. Report an error in the passage at 52:38 Highlight the passage at 52:38

52:54 I think I may have to take the mind class again, but to try to tie some of the issues that you were raising about the subtle most mind is not the self. And there's been a couple of times I think in this class where you're talking about the self-cherishing mind and like what I are we protecting, what I needs to be right. Report an error in the passage at 52:54 Highlight the passage at 52:54

53:16 And, you know, I think I understand the self as a construct to a certain extent intellectually or the five aggregates and things like that. But I think I'm still attached to the idea that there's something and maybe it's my subtle most mind that is the I. But I do see that. This I is not the same one that my subtle most mind created a hundred years ago or next year or whenever it's going to be. Report an error in the passage at 53:16 Highlight the passage at 53:16

53:44 So I think I guess I'm still attached to the thought that there's something that... You know, that wants to be right and that you can protect and that that's the eye. And that, are you going to, are you going to take the, are you going to take, yeah, for sure. Are you going to take the emptiness class with Malum? I wasn't sure I was going to go to the one when Venerable Chokyi is here. Yeah, she'll give you ideas on how to look at the eye too. Because that's, that's one of the best meditations. Report an error in the passage at 53:44 Highlight the passage at 53:44

54:08 I can't, I can't believe she wouldn't include that when it's looking for that eye, you know. Which is a great meditation, so she'll definitely do that one. Yeah, Tenzin Chokyi is going to teach on the night of the 8th of August and then all day on the... I guess they're two separate, so they could be standalone or you could do them together. I think, of course, it's better to do them together. She'll talk about emptiness that night and then she'll tell you how to meditate on it all day on the Saturday. Report an error in the passage at 54:08 Highlight the passage at 54:08

54:37 And so that's going to be... That'll give you some ideas. These kind of issues and this, yeah, looking at the emptiness of yourself. And know too that basically what happens with the study of emptiness and karma is that you're going to just keep getting more and more and more and be able to go deeper and deeper and deeper and it's, you know, years of study and work with it. Report an error in the passage at 54:37 Highlight the passage at 54:37

55:05 Like you're not going to come out of that class having a direct perception of emptiness unless you have some really good karmic seeds going into it. Which some of you guys might have, I don't know. But for most of us, we just get more understanding and we work with that understanding and then we get more and then we come out with more questions and then we get more understanding and then we work with that understanding like that. Report an error in the passage at 55:05 Highlight the passage at 55:05

55:26 And you do, you just keep taking the classes over and over and gaining more understanding. But it's accurate from a Buddhist perspective to say that the subtle most mind is not the I. No. The subtle most mind. What I said is accurate. It is accurate. That's right. I don't understand it, but I can repeat it. Right. Yeah, yeah. It's not this I. Report an error in the passage at 55:26 Highlight the passage at 55:26

55:49 It's not the I that causes that self-cherishing mind to arise. It's not that I. There is a valid I, and it is based on just that solid. That settled most minds and your sort of valid identity for this lifetime. So it's not to say that you have to suddenly stop using your name and whose daughter you're what. Report an error in the passage at 55:49 Highlight the passage at 55:49

56:12 Yeah, exactly. Like there is some sense of that. Like if I say I am working on this path to enlightenment and I want to become a Buddha. There is something to that. But the problem is that usually the way that we use I isn't like that. That's simply like a statement of fact kind of. Report an error in the passage at 56:12 Highlight the passage at 56:12

56:31 Usually we get really hung up with the I that's going to be on the Buddha. I'm going to like blast past all you guys and you know whatever. There's going to be some arrogance or some other mental afflictions that arise based on that I and that's the I that doesn't really exist in that way. And it's hard to figure out the two and that's actually half the battle in meditating on emptiness is figuring out exactly what's the valid I and what's the... Report an error in the passage at 56:31 Highlight the passage at 56:31

57:00 You know, it's like getting your objects correct before you even begin to meditate. Which is why this particular, I see my little head coming back and forth. We always should put you in the front row. Give you some extra cushions or something. It's fine, they call it, there's also, you know, when you're beginning to meditate on emptiness, it's like the object to be negated. Report an error in the passage at 57:00 Highlight the passage at 57:00

57:25 You might have heard this term, the object to be negated. So it's like actually figuring out what, The object is that we're saying doesn't exist in that way that we think it exists. First you've got to spend a really long time just getting that straight, which is why this particular tradition has such an emphasis on doing valid, serious study first with qualified teachers and getting clear on what it is that you're even meditating on and then meditating. Report an error in the passage at 57:25 Highlight the passage at 57:25

57:52 The FPMT tradition is to kind of try to do it simultaneously. So you get some understanding, you go and work with that. You get some more understanding, you go and work with that. You come back and you're like, and then you get that clarified and then you go and work with that. So it's kind of like simultaneous. I think in the monasteries, it was more like you really just studied it inside and out for like 18 years and then you did a lot of meditation. Report an error in the passage at 57:52 Highlight the passage at 57:52

58:18 And I don't know which is better. But I think for the Western mind, it kind of works better to get a little bit, work with it, work a little bit, work with it, take a class again, ask more questions like that. Report an error in the passage at 58:18 Highlight the passage at 58:18

58:30 These Report an error in the passage at 58:30 Highlight the passage at 58:30

58:34 two stanzas that we had to read and meditate on are really difficult stanzas. Yeah, they are. And the only way, which I know I have to work on. Okay, that's why I'm here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The only way that I can sincerely... Report an error in the passage at 58:34 Highlight the passage at 58:34

58:57 Almost forgive, I don't know if it's forgive or accept or just relate, is to get rid of that I, that bogus I. It's that false I that I so clearly see that is the root of a lot of misinterpretation. Totally. And so maybe I find that some of these people that I thought were abusive and slanderous maybe weren't. Report an error in the passage at 58:57 Highlight the passage at 58:57

59:27 Right. You know, that's the big surprise for me. Yeah, exactly. Or that there's even a kernel of truth to what they're saying, and that's even harder. Right. And there's a kernel of truth. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So these two stanzas are wonderful. Report an error in the passage at 59:27 Highlight the passage at 59:27

59:50 And also really hard. Yeah. I mean, you're starting to get a feeling now, right? Why just these eight verses, you could just work with these babies for life. I mean, there is such depth to them. There's so much in them. There's an entire life's work in these stanzas, eight stanzas. A lot of times people are like, well, let's just have them teach the eight verses of thought transformation. Report an error in the passage at 59:50 Highlight the passage at 59:50

1:00:14 Like it's some easy little text, you know. And sure, it's possible for somebody, especially somebody like Rubina, could teach it in a day long and has. And she's put it into some sort of easy way. But the deeper you go and then the deeper, it's almost like you keep, it's like the onion, right? You just keep realizing how incredibly pithy they are and how difficult to practice they are and what it really is telling you to do, which is like outrageous. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:14 Highlight the passage at 1:00:14

1:00:41 It's totally outrageous. So, how amazing we get to study them, hey? Report an error in the passage at 1:00:41 Highlight the passage at 1:00:41

1:00:50 All right, let's go on to verse six. I think that's all we had planned is just verse six tonight, right? Yeah, that's it. Good. When someone I have benefited and in whom I have placed great trust hurts me very badly, I will practice seeing that person as my supreme teacher. So we're only going from bad to worse. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:50 Highlight the passage at 1:00:50

1:01:15 So now we're talking about somebody that you have actually spent time With being kind to, tried to help them. And sometimes we do it with not the greatest motivation. Sometimes we expect some sort of feeling of gratitude. I mean, we're human, right? That isn't why we're supposed to be doing things, but we still think that. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:15 Highlight the passage at 1:01:15

1:01:39 I mean, you know, whether it's somebody you just simply help across the street or somebody that you've like, you know, they've moved to San Francisco, you helped to find a place, you helped to find a job. Linked them up with some good resources and then they just totally bash you. Or what about somebody who, you know, a partner who betrays you? Report an error in the passage at 1:01:39 Highlight the passage at 1:01:39

1:01:59 This one comes up. So this one's saying instead of, you know, getting completely pissed off or wounded for life or, you know, whatever our normal response is, to see them as our holy guru. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:59 Highlight the passage at 1:01:59

1:02:20 To actually learn from them. And why? What can they teach us? Anyone who has been through this kind of situation knows that if you take the opportunity of seeing it as a teaching, even though it's painful, and it's not saying that it's going to not be painful, that you can actually gain some understanding of your own mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:20 Highlight the passage at 1:02:20

1:02:46 You can gain some understanding of what you're capable of. You can actually develop compassion. You can grow from it. Even without the whole Buddhist teaching. So even, you know, not even just in some sort of just realistic human life way. Any of us who have had this opportunity in our lives and decided to not hold on to anger about it or not hold a grudge or not want to kill the person or not diss them to everyone we know. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:46 Highlight the passage at 1:02:46

1:03:21 Which is the normal response. It's actually often the response that we're taught to do. Sometimes by our parents. And so it's sort of like we're going against all that because Lama Tsongkhapa is saying, no, actually, this person is more, this is like, it's going past more precious to you than a wish-fulfilling jewel. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:21 Highlight the passage at 1:03:21

1:03:41 He's saying, now, this person is your holy teacher. Your supreme teacher. So, he's saying, just be kind. In reality, we should never do anything for anyone with any expectation at all anyway, so we just be kind if this happens. We decide to use it as a teaching. If somebody is ungrateful, we show them even greater kindness. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:41 Highlight the passage at 1:03:41

1:04:12 We study patience from a teacher, but the practice of patience actually depends on having this person who harms us in some way. It's usually, you know, often you can study, you can meditate, you can contemplate, you can learn all about patience in a classroom setting, and then it's the actual taking it to the field that you have to put it into effect. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:12 Highlight the passage at 1:04:12

1:04:39 So this person's helping you by creating a situation where you have to practice patience and kindness. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:39 Highlight the passage at 1:04:39

1:04:49 And, which is of course amazing, and we need those. They actually say, patience. It's almost like we want to skip over the hardest aspects of the path to enlightenment. When you look at the six perfections, the third perfection is that of patience. And Lama Zopa Rinpoche is always saying that if we don't practice patience, there's no way we can get enlightened. It's actually incredible. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:49 Highlight the passage at 1:04:49

1:05:19 It's like foundational. Like we can't possibly, which of course makes sense because who's ever heard of an angry Buddha, right? But it almost seems like so fundamental that we kind of want to just bypass it and just get all this juicier stuff like, you know, carbon emptiness. Sounds much more interesting than actually determining to be patient even when somebody that you've tried to help, you know, kicks you in the gut. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:19 Highlight the passage at 1:05:19

1:05:47 So there is one teaching that says that our minds are really stiff like leather and that... Patience actually makes them flexible, makes it flexible and soft and workable and usable. It's like that old idea. In Tibet, they often carry things in leather pouches. And so if they carry, you know, if the leather just gets hard and heavy and, you know, it almost becomes like, it's almost, you know, like wood after a while. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:47 Highlight the passage at 1:05:47

1:06:25 But if you actually work, The butter into it, then it actually can become really soft and pliable and flexible. And our minds are the same. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:25 Highlight the passage at 1:06:25

1:06:39 So patience is described, one definition of patience is having a calm, virtuous mind that can bear hardship without getting upset. Or one of my teachers describes it as the art of not getting angry when there's good cause. Or when you have every reason, he sometimes says, when you have every reason to get angry. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:39 Highlight the passage at 1:06:39

1:07:05 So we can only do this by just practicing with all the little stuff that comes up. Like we can't suddenly have the patience of a saint in a really huge, heavy, heavy situation if we haven't been practicing with all the little stuff. And this isn't... So much like having patience if the bus is late. You know, it's not talking about that. It's more talking about really more stuff that comes to you due to your karma. I mean, the bus being late comes to you due to your karma. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:05 Highlight the passage at 1:07:05

1:07:30 But it's more stuff like you have a reason to get angry and you decide not to. It's basically making that determination, that decision. And I think I was talking about that one time recently in Rich's talk on anger. That was like a really... Report an error in the passage at 1:07:30 Highlight the passage at 1:07:30

1:07:53 It's a clarifying moment for me to have him say, you know, you actually have to make this determination kind of in every moment that I will not get angry. You make the determination when you get up, I'm not going to get angry today. And then you make that determination sort of throughout your mind throughout the day with all the little things that arise. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:53 Highlight the passage at 1:07:53

1:08:13 It's just like deciding. I'm going to live this life for all beings, which is a bodhicitta motivation. This is a motivation that this is what I'm going to work on right now. You know, it might be today, it might be this week, it might be this month, it might be this year. My 2008 is my year of working on not getting angry when I have every cause to. And so, I mean, it should be every year, but I'm just saying you make that mind, you create that mind, that determination, that resolve not to get angry. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:13 Highlight the passage at 1:08:13

1:08:46 And they say, actually, that developing patience is the cause of beauty, an attractive personality, peace of mind, being close to holy beings, and, of course, getting enlightened. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:46 Highlight the passage at 1:08:46

1:09:01 Peace extends to everyone around you, which, of course, we know when we're around patient people, how there's sort of a safety net around them. You feel safe around those people. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:01 Highlight the passage at 1:09:01

1:09:13 Whereas it's the opposite of... You know, when I was describing the world of anger that my father created, you didn't feel safe. You knew that this bomb could go off at any time. This is the opposite. When you're with somebody who really is very, very patient, I really noticed that. Actually, I helped to put on a long life pucho with Venerable Soma, who probably would be mortified, and if she ever tunes in, she'll totally freak out. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:13 Highlight the passage at 1:09:13

1:09:43 But I was really amazed. It was Emily and I, Emily Tsu and I and Somo that were the three sort of representatives who had to jump in and put together this long life bodhicitta for Jina Rinpoche in like two weeks. It was insane, insane amount of work, insane amount of detail. And I was so impressed with Somo because she was just willing, she would have been willing to work all night if necessary to have it be right. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:43 Highlight the passage at 1:09:43

1:10:08 But she was just so easygoing and it was sort of like, maybe we should do that again. Like she was willing to like do... The whole room over if necessary, but not in any kind of demanding way. It was just sort of like this easygoing. And you just relaxed because you just were like, okay, this is just what we're doing. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:08 Highlight the passage at 1:10:08

1:10:26 You know, this is what we're going to do. And it's just, it felt very freeing because you knew that, okay, maybe we are going to be up all night, but it was just kind of like a relaxed way rather than we're going to get this right. You know, it wasn't like any kind of, you know, which I definitely worked with people like that. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:26 Highlight the passage at 1:10:26

1:10:44 And I can be like that myself. So you can see that patience can also allow room for not just that safety and that feeling of safety, but also, again, creativity in a situation. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:44 Highlight the passage at 1:10:44

1:10:59 It's necessary for creativity, it's true. And they say, unfortunately, with anger, that we can actually destroy eons of positive karma with anger. They say with a moment of anger. But when you get into the fine print, it's actually a moment of anger directed at a bodhisattva. However, how do we know who a bodhisattva is? Report an error in the passage at 1:10:59 Highlight the passage at 1:10:59

1:11:23 And that's kind of the tricky part. You know, we might think, well, I can tell this guy's not a bodhisattva. And I've actually had students say that to me. I know this guy's not a bodhisattva. And it's like, how? Are you clairvoyant? Can you actually see his mind? Because that's the one teaching that the Buddha said that I actually think sounds very Christian. He said, until you are like me, you can't judge another, meaning until you're fully enlightened. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:23 Highlight the passage at 1:11:23

1:11:52 Not even a 10th level bodhisattva, not even really highly attained person, not even somebody who's had nirvāṇa. They say that we can still make mistakes and there are all these stories of really high level disciples of his not having the... Report an error in the passage at 1:11:52 Highlight the passage at 1:11:52

1:12:09 attainment of being able to see somebody's past karma and future karma so they make a decision for somebody and they say like you can't get ordained because you're too old or something like that and then the Buddha steps in and is like well no actually sure he's 80 but he can do a lot in his remaining five years so let's you know and then he like allows it and the person becomes an arhat you know there's all these stories So his basic line is, don't ever think you know what... Report an error in the passage at 1:12:09 Highlight the passage at 1:12:09

1:12:36 Somebody is. And if we don't know what somebody is, that means we can't get angry at them, which means we can't get angry at anybody. It really sucks, actually. So it's sort of like we can never feel like we're the victim again, you know. It's like taking away all of our crutches. And they say that whatever emotion we get pervades the mind, but with anger it totally turns the mind angry. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:36 Highlight the passage at 1:12:36

1:13:01 Like everything becomes angry. That's that whole idea of seeing red. It's like it just sort of pervades. And that's the way it feels with anger. It's often described like a fire. It just arises in you. And if you ever get angry, you can actually almost feel it arising like a fire. It's just like... And it feels completely out of control. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:01 Highlight the passage at 1:13:01

1:13:24 And they say that because we can't have positive states of mind... It's like it just rules the mind. All the other states of mind that arise are negative, and they all are supporting this angry thought, this angry mind. So if I'm really pissed off at Gina, it's like this angry mind is dominating my mind, and then all these other things are coming up. It's like vindictiveness and resentment, and all these other negative states of mind are coming up that are supporting this anger. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:24 Highlight the passage at 1:13:24

1:13:55 It's like an army coming up. and so basically Basically, the only way that we can develop a mind stronger than anger is this mind of patience, and that's just by practicing with little things that annoy us all the way along, like seeing these little chances whenever they arise to train our mind in patience. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:55 Highlight the passage at 1:13:55

1:14:21 So they say that there are three types of patience. The first is learning not to get angry when we could, which is what we've just been talking about. And this you could actually do by remembering how karma works. You could do a lot of different ways to just not get angry when you could get angry. You could remember, you could think about death as well. You know, if I were to die tonight, would I really get this pissed off at Gina for, you know, having worn my jeans or something without telling me? Report an error in the passage at 1:14:21 Highlight the passage at 1:14:21

1:14:54 You know, I mean, like the things that make us get angry would not matter to us if we literally got it that we were going to die. Or that they were going to die. I mean, how horrible to have somebody you love die and you're pissed at them. This actually happened with my sister. My sister and my dad had had a big fight right before my dad died. And she had to work on that one a lot to forgive herself and to kind of come to a place of forgiveness, which she did. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:54 Highlight the passage at 1:14:54

1:15:24 But who wants that? You know, who wants that to be between you and anyone if they die, you know, whether it's, you know, your boss. How horrible if you like have a big old scream out with your boss and then they die that night, you know. So there are a lot of different tools that you could use to keep yourself from getting angry when you could. And the second is the patience of accepting difficulties or hardship. And that's just, that's sort of like when the bus is late or when you wake up and you're sick. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:24 Highlight the passage at 1:15:24

1:15:53 um. You have a difficult journey and you decide not to whine about it. You're in India and they turn the lights off. You get unemployed. You lose your job. There's lots of ways that things could happen to you that you could just decide, okay, I'm going to use this one to practice patience. This is the second level of patience. And the third is what's called the patience of understanding and practicing the Dharma. And this one is actually, This one has to do with just accepting all the difficulties of the path and using the Dharma to help us with those difficulties as they arise. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:53 Highlight the passage at 1:15:53

1:16:39 This is really what this class is about, transforming the difficulties, using them as the path. So patience is not about just repressing anger. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:39 Highlight the passage at 1:16:39

1:16:54 You have to be using wisdom. So all of these, whenever we're looking at all of these verses, it's not about repressing a feeling that arises. It's about using wisdom and then deciding to use whatever that problem that's coming instead of to just going off the handle about it, to use whatever is in front of you, whatever problem is coming to you because of your past karma to develop your qualities and to eliminate your negative aspects of mind. So it's not about just I'm not going to get angry because a good Buddhist doesn't get angry. And I've actually heard people say, if somebody is, they've actually had come to me, students have come to me and said, you know, when I get, you know, pissed off, my husband will say, well, you know, you can't be getting angry because you're a Buddhist. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:54 Highlight the passage at 1:16:54

1:17:46 Which is like saying that once you become a Buddhist, that means you're not human anymore, first of all. But it has nothing to do, you know. It's not about repression and that's really, really important to get because I think a lot of times there is that thought in our minds. We're voluntarily or willingly deciding to restrain our anger, but we're analyzing at the same time. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:46 Highlight the passage at 1:17:46

1:18:10 We've got to do something with it. We've got to understand where it came from and where it's going to get us if we give into it. There's got to be that element of wisdom because otherwise it's just... It's just bubbling there and it'll just explode at some point, you know, so you're not really doing away with it. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:10 Highlight the passage at 1:18:10

1:18:31 So basically, these teachings, these Lojang teachings are actually ways that we keep putting ourselves in situations that we're not actively seeking annoying people to upset us, but we get them, right? And it's just giving us tools on how to... Deal with them and think about that differently, like think about them differently, not see them as the inherently annoying person. And if we keep seeing them as the inherently annoying person, that situation doesn't change. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:31 Highlight the passage at 1:18:31

1:19:04 So it hasn't ever served us. It's almost like an archaic misunderstanding of reality. And the Buddha is just like, no, wait a second, it doesn't exist that way. Think about it differently. Use these teachings on karma and emptiness to change the way you're thinking about it. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:04 Highlight the passage at 1:19:04

1:19:26 So the other aspect of this verse talks a lot about this role of the teacher. And I want to give you guys a break and then we're going to just talk a little bit about the role of the teacher because it's really, really big in Buddhism, especially in Tantric Buddhism, which most of Tibetan Buddhism, even though... Report an error in the passage at 1:19:26 Highlight the passage at 1:19:26

1:19:48 Many of the teachings, like most of the lamrim, all the lamrim is considered sūtra, the sūtra path. Still, within Tibetan Buddhism, it's flavored by the tantric path. And in the tantric path, the teacher is really, really important. So it's not even just like saying we're seeing this person as... Our third grade teacher. We're seeing this person as our root guru basically. We're seeing this person as really, really, really vitally important. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:48 Highlight the passage at 1:19:48

1:20:18 So I wanted to just talk a little bit about the role of the teacher and what that means because how we're supposed to see these people is even more outrageous than we might yet be seeing. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:18 Highlight the passage at 1:20:18

1:20:32 So let's take a break. How about five minutes and then just come back. I need a half hour just to... So let's talk about the role of the teachers. First of all, we have talked a little bit about how teachers can pop up in all shapes and forms. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:32 Highlight the passage at 1:20:32

1:20:53 Whether you see them as manifestations of your actual teacher or as an enlightened being or not. Like you can gain understanding and insights from lots of different... People in lots of different situations. So in that level, just on that sort of conventional reality level, teachers can pop up in all different forms. And I think most of us kind of get that one. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:53 Highlight the passage at 1:20:53

1:21:21 Also on a conventional level, if we're thinking about a spiritual teacher, there's all different levels. There's a really great book, which I was just looking up online today. I was just looking for my copy, which I have this tendency to lend out and then never get back, which is my own karma, coming right back at me. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:21 Highlight the passage at 1:21:21

1:21:41 But there's a book called Alex Berzen called Relating to the Spiritual Teacher. And he talks in there. He has a list of all the different levels of spiritual teachers we can have on the path, ranging from basically somebody who just basically knows a little bit more than you all the way up to your root guru and everything in between. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:41 Highlight the passage at 1:21:41

1:22:04 And there are many different levels in between. We get into this in the class on the spiritual teacher. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:04 Highlight the passage at 1:22:04

1:22:13 And it's huge in Tibetan Buddhism. And they often say that the spiritual teacher, it's the first thing that you learn when you're studying the lamrim. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:13 Highlight the passage at 1:22:13

1:22:23 It doesn't mean chronologically it's the first thing that happens for you. And that's really important to differentiate too. You probably will have something in the form of somebody who knows a little bit more than you, like that level of a teacher. or Report an error in the passage at 1:22:23 Highlight the passage at 1:22:23

1:22:40 Somebody like me who's just like, you know, what I would call a Dharma instructor, blah, blah, blah, trying to tell you a little something and having a little bit of experience and trying to impart that, you know, with some enthusiasm. So you might have that and then that might cause you to begin to seek a genuine, qualified spiritual teacher. And so for most of the other levels of teachers, you do need... Report an error in the passage at 1:22:40 Highlight the passage at 1:22:40

1:23:07 They have all these qualities and they enumerate these qualities and they're always spelled out as a qualified spiritual teacher. It's always said a qualified spiritual teacher. Because there's a lot of people who will sell themselves as a teacher. And especially in the West when it's so possible for us to take teachings or to listen to teachings online. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:07 Highlight the passage at 1:23:07

1:23:31 You know, we don't have to leave our home and we can gain teachings from all these people. It's dangerous unless you know something about them. Who are their teachers? Who are their students? Have you checked up? And if you're just listening to it for an informational thing, it's probably fine. But if you start listening to 17 of them, like you might be entering a situation where you're really becoming reliant on this person and who is this person. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:31 Highlight the passage at 1:23:31

1:23:56 This didn't happen so much in old Tibet because it was harder for people to get teachings. You know, you had to, like, prostrate hundreds of miles somewhere, you know. Or you were in a monastery for a billion years, so all you had were the ones that were on staff. You know, so you had, you know, basically you might be able to ask, hey, did you, have you studied with this guy? You know, what did you think about him? You might see the results in other students of that person before you go to a teaching. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:56 Highlight the passage at 1:23:56

1:24:26 So you have a little bit more way to check up. Now it's actually, it's almost too easy. So we have to be more careful than they ever had to in old Tibet. So it's said that it's the root of our path because, not because, hey Mary can you leave that on actually? Yeah. Sorry, I like it because it feels like we're all still open. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:26 Highlight the passage at 1:24:26

1:24:54 No, no, it's okay. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:54 Highlight the passage at 1:24:54

1:24:59 It's said that it's the root of our path because it actually is. Finding a teacher is when things really sort of take off. Finding that kind of a teacher and getting involved with that kind of a teacher. Like my relationship with my teacher, what I call my root teacher, my main spiritual teacher. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:59 Highlight the passage at 1:24:59

1:25:18 And it's sort of parallel to if you are deciding you're interested in crafts and you're sort of checking up and you're taking different teachings, that's cool. And then you decide, wow, I really want to learn woodworking. So then you start looking for somebody who's really good at woodworking. And then you're like, well, wait, I really want to learn this one kind of woodworking that was done at this time with this material. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:18 Highlight the passage at 1:25:18

1:25:44 You know, you're getting more specific about what your goal is and who you want. And there's that one or two masters that are going to fit you. And then you're making that decision. So you've checked up. You've got to check up. Because you're not going to, like, spend all this time in somebody's... And studying with somebody, probably at that level it wouldn't even be in a class if you haven't checked up. And this is actually even more important than that. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:44 Highlight the passage at 1:25:44

1:26:08 This is our minds we're handing over to this person. We're handing our minds. We're actually handing our future lives to this person. So it's actually much heavier than learning how to skate or learning how to do woodworking or learning how to knit or something like that. But we'll actually spend longer looking for those teachers than we would. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:08 Highlight the passage at 1:26:08

1:26:28 For a spiritual teacher. So that's my little word of caution. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:28 Highlight the passage at 1:26:28

1:26:34 They say, and His Holiness underscored this too, when he's going through the Lamrim in Pennsylvania, he started with a teacher, and he was talking about how traditionally, and he laughed because I think he knew that a lot of people in the audience were beginners, but actually he's really quite serious. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:34 Highlight the passage at 1:26:34

1:26:50 He brings this up every time. He says that it's actually best to take up to 12 years to find this. good question. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:50 Highlight the passage at 1:26:50

1:26:55 Well qualified spiritual teacher. So this is no light thing. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:55 Highlight the passage at 1:26:55

1:27:03 So then they say, okay, we've taken all this time. We found this teacher. We've checked their qualities. We've checked their students. We want to become like them. Then what do we do? We serve them. We do the best we can. We try to practice their advice, which is the best service, the best. offering that we can make you know they actually say there's three What's going to make his mind happy? Report an error in the passage at 1:27:03 Highlight the passage at 1:27:03

1:27:41 What's going to make his mind happy is if we actually put into practice what he's telling us every week to do in order to get enlightened because their main concern is to get us enlightened. If they are a qualified spiritual teacher. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:41 Highlight the passage at 1:27:41

1:27:55 So my teacher is actually, if my teacher is who he or she seems to be, and I've checked up very well, and I've taken time to check up very well, then my serving them, my following their advice, even my making offerings to them of either time or energy or things, It has nothing to do with them, actually. It's to get me enlightened. I mean, that's a sort of strange way to look at it, but that's the reality. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:55 Highlight the passage at 1:27:55

1:28:31 They say that when a farmer is going to plant seeds, they have to work on their field. They do that for their own sake, so they have a good yield, not for the sake of the field. You know, they aren't really doing it to help. Sometimes they're doing it with some idea to help the land, I suppose. Most of the time they're really hoping, if it's the farmer and not the Wilderness Society or something, they're doing it. I swear. They're usually doing it so they reap a good result in their growing. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:31 Highlight the passage at 1:28:31

1:29:06 So in that same way, everything I'm doing, for example, my deciding to give my life to... work with all the societies are. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:06 Highlight the passage at 1:29:06

1:29:17 Following my teacher's advice, which has been thus far pretty much to stay here, study and work, I'm trusting that he knows that this is the best place for me to work on my mind. So my serving him in this way is serving the center, it's serving all beings, it's doing my practice. That's really going to benefit me in the end. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:17 Highlight the passage at 1:29:17

1:29:39 I mean, I'm not the best SBC he could find for this. He's not choosing it with that kind of logical way. He's thinking, This is actually going to help her get closer to enlightenment. This is the best way for her to work on her mind. And so I'm trusting that. So if we are trying to see this person as a teacher, the biggest thing that our Lama is, Lama is this actual, it's not like any kind of teacher. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:39 Highlight the passage at 1:29:39

1:30:11 Lama and Guru are the same word. Lama is Tibetan and Guru is Sanskrit and it basically means heavy with quality. Heavy with qualities. So somebody who's got these amazing qualities that we want, by the way, the biggest thing that they do is show us our minds. And it's not always comfortable. It's not like it's this cozy kind of, you know... Report an error in the passage at 1:30:11 Highlight the passage at 1:30:11

1:30:37 Burl Ives kind of a thing where we're like gathered at their feet and they're like telling us stories and it's all really sweet and wonderful all the time. Usually it's like they put you in positions where you have to look at your own mind and it's not easy and it's not always comfortable but that isn't kind of why we're on the path. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:37 Highlight the passage at 1:30:37

1:30:59 We've already decided to give up that, right? Because we want to get enlightened. And in order to get enlightened, I have to know my own mind. And I have to see where I've got work to do. And I've got to do the work. So that's why this person who's hurt us can show us our minds sometimes better than somebody who's really sweet and loving us all the time no matter what we do. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:59 Highlight the passage at 1:30:59

1:31:21 Like mommy or something. In some cases, mommy. Sometimes the mommy is the one who hurt us or betrayed us, actually, in which case she could also be showing us her own mind. So in that way, that person is like our teacher. And then also in the same way, if we want to serve our teacher, if we think of this person as our teacher, this person who has hurt us in some way or betrayed us in some way, we try to be kind to them, we try to serve them as a suffering being. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:21 Highlight the passage at 1:31:21

1:31:52 That's the same as serving our teacher. It's also just as hard. And we could also, once we gain some faith in our teacher, some confidence or trust in our teacher, you can actually begin to see these difficult people that arise as your teacher sort of manifesting in these forms to just check up on you. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:52 Highlight the passage at 1:31:52

1:32:13 And I think I've mentioned a couple times like when I'll think somebody is so outrageously out there that I'm just like, sure, it's Lami Eshi or somebody just totally trying to like test me because it's just so, You know, just totally out there. I did have this, I had a couple situations that I wanted to just share. One was during a retreat that I did at Kopan Monastery in Nepal during the winter, which is a really hard time to do. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:13 Highlight the passage at 1:32:13

1:32:40 It's a really hard place to do retreat. It's a really hard time of year to do retreat. They just, you know, suddenly the water stops. And they're like, you know. Don't know, you know. Don't know when it will come on, you know. And you're just kind of like, oh, okay. So you're one little, you get like one little thermos of water and you're like, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:40 Highlight the passage at 1:32:40

1:33:01 Like how much can, you realize how little you need actually. It's amazing. And I had hair at that point. But, you know, nobody saw me. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:01 Highlight the passage at 1:33:01

1:33:11 So there was this gampa keeper. They have a position that's called gampa keeper in most monasteries. And there was an old guy. so um Report an error in the passage at 1:33:11 Highlight the passage at 1:33:11

1:33:19 And he would do these things that just felt like he was doing them just to test me. I mean, he would just decide to lock the gampa for no reason. You know, I was trying to do prostrations and I was trying to do them at a regular time. I was trying to be really disciplined, you know, and it was like my 2 p.m. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:19 Highlight the passage at 1:33:19

1:33:39 prostrating time or something. And I would go to the gampa and you were like going up there and preparing your mind and then the door would be locked for no reason with no sign. And sometimes he would kind of see me and kind of just like look and kind of shuffle away, you know. And it just felt so outrageous that the thing that finally turned around for me was just thinking, this is Rinpoche, this is my teacher and he's just trying to test me. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:39 Highlight the passage at 1:33:39

1:34:03 And so I just began to be really, really friendly to him. And I would just be really kind to him and I would just smile at him and I would like wave at him. And I would go up in the door and be locked and I would just like shrug or something, you know. And it just lightened the whole situation. Actually, by the end, he was like so friendly. I mean, we couldn't speak the same language, but he was just like, you know, it just lightened the whole situation. I just let it go because it was all about showing me my mind of attachment. Report an error in the passage at 1:34:03 Highlight the passage at 1:34:03

1:34:27 I was so attached and rigid that it had to be like this and I had to go that and I had to do this and, you know, and I didn't. It was my retreat. The other story is before I became a Buddhist, and I mentioned this actually slightly on Tuesday night. I had a good friend who, we were really, really tight. And she was one of my first house, well, she was a good friend of mine in D.C. Report an error in the passage at 1:34:27 Highlight the passage at 1:34:27

1:34:56 We were housemates in D.C. And then when I first moved here, about a year later, she moved with her boyfriend. And the three of us lived together. And we actually had a great household and, you know, she was teaching me French and things like that. And they decided to get married. And then something just shifted. And with my view of karma now, I can see that it was just that karma for that friendship just ended, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:34:56 Highlight the passage at 1:34:56

1:35:21 And it was just a shift. And I don't even know what conventionally caused that shift. I honestly don't. But something shifted. And what came up, the way it manifested is... Her complete rejection of me and her complete anger. And I was trying to understand what it was and I was trying to understand what I had done. I was trying to invite discussion. Report an error in the passage at 1:35:21 Highlight the passage at 1:35:21

1:35:47 She was actually one of the few people I had ever met who could discuss during really difficult, painful situations. Like I had gotten that from her, how to discuss and how to work through. And yet she was unable to reveal what I had done or whatever that had hurt her. And it was interesting because... Report an error in the passage at 1:35:47 Highlight the passage at 1:35:47

1:36:08 All my friends, of course, were like, you know, she's horrible, she's always been horrible, you know, immediately painting her as this, like, monster. And I was unwilling to go that way. It just didn't feel right for me to go that way. And so I just began to realize, because I knew a lot about her background, I just began to see it as like a coping mechanism that she had, that something had gotten scary, and so she'd shut down. Report an error in the passage at 1:36:08 Highlight the passage at 1:36:08

1:36:32 And I knew a lot of her background had been abusive. She had a lot of abuse in her background from one parent. And so I just decided that this was some coping mechanism and I was just going to love her. And so it was very kind of bizarre, but she and her now husband got married and I was supposed to make the cake for their wedding and be a part of their wedding. Report an error in the passage at 1:36:32 Highlight the passage at 1:36:32

1:36:57 And I decided to go ahead and do that. And so I just, I went ahead and I went to their wedding and I made the cake. And it was really painful and it was really hard and I just kept loving them. And her husband was like confused by the whole thing. He's never quite gotten what happened. But the end of that story is just simply like I felt really good that I could do that, even though I didn't understand. Report an error in the passage at 1:36:57 Highlight the passage at 1:36:57

1:37:22 And it was years later that she suddenly called me out of the blue. She started trying to get in touch with me through a common friend. And I thought, oh my God, she must be dying. I thought, why on earth would she be contacting me after all this time? But it was because of 9-1-1. Because of the events of 9-1-1, she just felt like she had to reach through and reconnect and just, I don't think she ever really said she was sorry, but she just connected and said she loved me, which was enough. Report an error in the passage at 1:37:22 Highlight the passage at 1:37:22

1:37:52 And in my mind, I had already loved her and I had already forgiven her for everything, and so I just kind of moved on. So I didn't feel like we had to be friends again. But from her side, I think she had to. For me it was a really interesting process of just deciding to not do what all of my closest friends felt like I should do, which was basically to write her off. Report an error in the passage at 1:37:52 Highlight the passage at 1:37:52

1:38:13 Or to see her as a monster for behaving in a way that I couldn't understand. But to work against this almost natural inborn tendency to constrict and instead expand. It was almost like cracking open the heart. When it wanted to just go, no, let's not, let's go away. And for me it was pivotal, I think, to Buddhism, even though I didn't have the words and I didn't know the teachings. Report an error in the passage at 1:38:13 Highlight the passage at 1:38:13

1:38:42 When I first began reading about these teachings, I was like, whoa, that's exactly what happened. So for me, I have put these into practice in ways that are sometimes... Difficult and then funny, and also difficult and really heartbreaking. And they really are profoundly, amazingly life-changing. But you just have to try them. Report an error in the passage at 1:38:42 Highlight the passage at 1:38:42

1:39:09 You have to be brave enough to try them. And I think that's where Lojong becomes so hard, is you have to be brave enough to actually try it. Because it feels like what you're doing is so insane. It's like you're doing what everybody is saying you shouldn't ever do. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:09 Highlight the passage at 1:39:09

1:39:27 So does anybody else have a story like that about somebody who you really put a lot of trust in and they've actually betrayed that trust, but you decided instead of writing them off, you were going to just love them anyway? Report an error in the passage at 1:39:27 Highlight the passage at 1:39:27

1:39:45 Yeah, I see nods. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:45 Highlight the passage at 1:39:45

1:39:51 It changes your life. I think every time that we can do that, it changes our life, even if it's just little things. It doesn't have to be really huge things. It doesn't have to be lifetimes that you've given this person. But I think it's sort of like going in favor of love rather than hatred. So it's actually huger than it feels, even if it feels little at the time. Does anybody have any questions or any input on that? Report an error in the passage at 1:39:51 Highlight the passage at 1:39:51

1:40:26 Just for the viewer at home. What did you do with the pain? What did I do with the pain? I just kept working with it. I just kept looking at it. In terms of being Buddhist now, what I would do with it is definitely to analyze it and to think who was hurt, where is that hurt coming from, who did she hurt, you know, and also thinking about her. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:26 Highlight the passage at 1:40:26

1:40:48 I would probably do, we're going to talk about, there's a practice called Tonglen. I would probably do Tonglen for her as well as for me. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:48 Highlight the passage at 1:40:48

1:40:57 Sometimes when I'm at the most hurt, like when my mom died I was really broken hearted for a long time actually. Probably a good solid year. Still broken hearted I guess both. Because we were good friends as well. I've done Tonglen for myself. And we'll talk about what that means. It's just sort of like opening to the pain and being willing to take that pain on for others that are in the same situation. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:57 Highlight the passage at 1:40:57

1:41:23 Other beings that are hurt, other beings who have lost moms, other beings who have lost best friends. And then also just giving that person who is hurting, whether it's me or somebody else, in this case this person, this friend, everything that could possibly make them happy and safe and loved, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:41:23 Highlight the passage at 1:41:23

1:41:45 Because she, in my mind, she was striking out because she didn't feel safe for whatever reason. And so just being wanting to give her everything. So it's not so much about became less about my own situation and my own feelings and more about the other. Report an error in the passage at 1:41:45 Highlight the passage at 1:41:45

1:42:04 It's like opening up that. That's what I mean by opening up the heart. Report an error in the passage at 1:42:04 Highlight the passage at 1:42:04

1:42:12 Anybody else? Report an error in the passage at 1:42:12 Highlight the passage at 1:42:12

1:42:19 I guess I have a comment and a question. So that I think an important element about that story is also is the forgiveness, right? And it's funny because in a way, when she contacted you again, you didn't feel a need to be friends with her again. Not in an ongoing way. Because in my heart, I still loved her. That's all right. Well, I mean, the story for me that parallels that is with my mother. Report an error in the passage at 1:42:19 Highlight the passage at 1:42:19

1:42:56 You know, that, I mean, for me, I don't... Well, Report an error in the passage at 1:42:56 Highlight the passage at 1:42:56

1:43:04 I really don't feel anger or hatred towards her. And, you know, I've gotten to the point where what I feel towards her is love. Report an error in the passage at 1:43:04 Highlight the passage at 1:43:04

1:43:14 But I have also, in a very similar way to what you have done, I mean, I, you know, there's a level to which when you work through forgiveness for someone and they have not asked for it, you know, they've not come and owned what they've done or in any way asked for it. You end up forgiving them right on out of your life. Yeah, you can decide. You can do the work for somebody without having them continue to be a part of your life. Report an error in the passage at 1:43:14 Highlight the passage at 1:43:14

1:43:42 It makes me wonder about the importance of, you know, it's not like you stayed there for her to continue being angry at you. Well, she moved. I could have moved in with her, but I might have gotten arrested. Report an error in the passage at 1:43:42 Highlight the passage at 1:43:42

1:44:03 I guess that's the question there, right? I could have chosen to. And actually, it's not saying, it's never saying exactly what you should do. It's simply giving you the teaching and then you interpret it and work with it. Some people could choose to stay in a situation like that. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:03 Highlight the passage at 1:44:03

1:44:22 Especially advanced practitioners could. Yeah, for sure. But it's never saying you should do that. Because we're at all different levels of what we can do and how much we can endure and whether it's going to be beneficial for that person or whether it's going to be beneficial for me to do that. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:22 Highlight the passage at 1:44:22

1:44:41 In that situation, she was in no way ready and it took her many years to get to the place where she wanted to even discuss it. Although, we did actually meet one time before that, before she left the area. and just to You know, sort of celebrate that the friendship had existed at all. Right, yeah. But, yeah. I mean, I can see that. You know, Emily twitches every time she mentions mothers in Friday class and I keep saying to her, it's okay, you can mention mothers. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:41 Highlight the passage at 1:44:41

1:45:12 And I'll say the same thing to you. It's okay, you can mention mothers. It doesn't bother me. A few years ago it would have. And I can actually see in the distance, should my mother be around in 10 years, I might be at the point where it wouldn't be a problem for me. I would be strong enough that I could handle being in a relationship with her, but I'm not at that point. Right, I have a good friend. And I'm okay with that. Report an error in the passage at 1:45:12 Highlight the passage at 1:45:12

1:45:33 I have a good friend who was really abused by her mother. And for her, she's done a lot of work on her relationship with her mother in her own mind, with her own therapy, with her own spiritual life, which is Wiccan, not Buddhism. But she chooses to not be in a relationship. With her mom in this life. And that could change. That could change in this life. And then there's, but I think one of the reasons why Emily probably does twitch and why I twitch too is because I have had people who have talked to me and said, you know, in those meditations on all beings being our mothers or whatever, that, you know, can I please use some other term because, you know, this has been my situation and I don't want to hear even the word mother because they're all horrible and blah, blah, blah, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:45:33 Highlight the passage at 1:45:33

1:46:21 Yeah, it's just something that not everybody has the same relationship with their mothers. It's true. It's very true. Yeah, and whether you stay in a situation that is really, really painful like that until something resolves or whether you decide to separate or be in a different environment and work on it and come back within years or never come back, come back in your mind and never come back together physically. Report an error in the passage at 1:46:21 Highlight the passage at 1:46:21

1:46:46 It's all... Up to the individual situation in your own minds and your own practices. And nobody's going to tell you you should do anything. That's the thing about Buddhism. There's never a thou shalt not. There's simply simple things like, you know, love. Love rather than hate. And then you decide how that looks, you know. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:46:46 Highlight the passage at 1:46:46

1:47:15 Anybody else before we close? Report an error in the passage at 1:47:15 Highlight the passage at 1:47:15

1:47:22 Anything about the teacher that you want to? Fight about. Hit you the wrong way. Questions? Did you just fly in today? You look tired, yeah. You're on East Coast time. All right. Well, your meditation is going to be on this verse, so you can think about it. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:22 Highlight the passage at 1:47:22

1:47:50 And I put a lot of what I just talked about in the meditation for you to think more about, so if you didn't take any notes, there's some stuff there. And then just bring back your questions. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:50 Highlight the passage at 1:47:50

1:48:02 And I'm sure somebody this week can be your teacher. So now your goal is to find that being. It might be, you know, somebody in the next room or it might be somebody in this class or it might be somebody at work. Report an error in the passage at 1:48:02 Highlight the passage at 1:48:02

1:48:19 Okay, so let's end with a dedication and just dedicate any insights or any understandings or anything that you got out of this class at all. Report an error in the passage at 1:48:19 Highlight the passage at 1:48:19

1:48:33 May it, you know. Plant seeds for realizations in your minds, all of our minds. May it get us closer to liberation and enlightenment and may it increase our capacity to not just help others but also help ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 1:48:33 Highlight the passage at 1:48:33

1:48:57 I always have to resist the urge to say amen. It's such a good finality, you know, it's like, okay, it's done. Report an error in the passage at 1:48:57 Highlight the passage at 1:48:57