← Lobsang Chokyi

Discovering Buddhism - Taking Refuge (18 August 2009)

Lobsang Chokyi · 18 August 2009 · 2 h 4 min · Tse Chen Ling via Internet Archive

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  • 23:21

    There is a refuge ceremony that we scheduled for Sunday the 30th, which is I guess a week from Sunday. Everybody in the class is not necessarily taking refuge, so don't be afraid if you didn't know that that was happening. However, there's probably a few people that are planning to take refuge. That are in the class, or if you're even just considering it, I'd love it if you attended that day, that afternoon, because you can learn a lot at the refuge ceremony, just watching it, even if you're not taking refuge.

  • 1:04:09

    We start with thinking about what's called outer refuge, which is the kind of refuge that we kind of think about when we think about taking refuge in the Buddha and the Dharma and the Saṅgha. We'll define those terms because, you know, Buddhism always defines its terms. Which I love, actually. I love that, especially about Tibetan Buddhism. There's no assumptions. But there's nothing wrong with turning to something to relieve that pain and to help us become happier, as long as we understand that whatever it is that we are turning to, you know, this...

  • 1:35:32

    I wanted to just mention that because if we're going to work with it, we need to find... It's sort of like if we decide we want to become a concert pianist, we need to find somebody who can really, not just play, but really play. We want to find somebody who can really show us how to play. We want to find somebody who can really show us how to work with their mind. And right now our different states of mind are all sort of jumbled up.

  • 1:53:49

    Lama Esha used to say, taking refuge is nothing new. We take refuge all the time, but always in temporary objects. When we're sick, we take refuge in a physician and medicine, and when we're depressed, we seek refuge in a friend or even chocolate. These objects of refuge obviously only give us some sort of a temporary relief, like we just talked about, and they don't have the perfection and the power to liberate us. But it is still worthwhile, I think, looking at all the things we've taken. So let's just quiet our mind for a moment, now that you're single-pointedly thinking about chocolate or anything else you've taken refuge in.

  • 1:57:31

    Buddha is, is perfect, free of all faults and possessing all the qualities. And the Buddha has already demonstrated his ability to overcome his karma and clashes,

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0:49 Now all of a sudden there'll be like tons of people and I told you, oh, sure. Report an error

1:14 laughing. Report an error

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1:46 it doesn't really the body in the room, so I'll just scoot back for you. Thank you. Report an error

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2:44 Are you here for meditation? There's going to be some confusion, I'm sure. Report an error

3:02 I could, I would do three prostrations. I have a torn in my knee, so I can't. The reason that we usually start a teaching with prostrations is because we're honoring the teachings. Report an error

3:15 actually mostly about honoring the teachings and what those teachings... Report an error

3:23 when we do frustrations, it's with this mind of wanting equality. You are Report an error

3:57 here. are here. Report an error

4:03 So hopefully everybody that's in this room is intending to be in the refuge room. And anybody that wants to meditate, it's okay. I won't take it personally. You can go across the hall. So for three weeks we're sharing space. It's a little funny, but it was the only way we could do this class. I Report an error

4:26 think I know all of you, so that's cool. This is like the first time, I think. Actually, I think it might have happened one other time when I did the spiritual teacher. It was all people I knew, but otherwise. So I have a roster. At some point, I'll probably just send it around. Kara, could I get a pen? Did she hear me? Report an error

4:48 Oh, thank you. We'll just send it around. If you could just put your name and how to reach you best on it. I should have brought it on clipboard, but it can be phone or email, but don't put... One or the other if you never check it. Just put the best way to reach you. The reason that we have that in addition to registration or word of mouth or oh she knows me or whatever is if I have to reach everybody all at once for some reason. Report an error

5:15 Like something happens which hopefully it won't. Or I need to hand it to Kara and she needs to call everybody or something like that. So it just makes it easier if it's all at one place. Report an error

5:30 Let's start with a little meditation. Report an error

5:35 I'm Report an error

5:43 just going to take some nice tea. Take some deep breaths and let yourself arrive. I know all of us have been doing something else today. Work or study or volunteering somewhere else or doing something at home, trying to find work. Report an error

6:01 And so then we just need a little transition. When we first arrive, sometimes part of us is still doing that other thing. Part of us is still circling looking for parking. Report an error

6:13 Just take some nice deep belly breaths and imagine them just washing away. Anything that might keep you from being here tonight. Report an error

6:33 And then imagine just breathing those distractions or sleepiness, whatever, out into the night and it just disappearing, just dissolving into thin air. And Report an error

6:50 then imagine breathing in everything you need to be here. So alertness, ability to concentrate, curiosity, brightness, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Report an error

7:21 And then when you're ready, I'm just going to review the posture a little bit. We're going to actually start with a short meditation on the breath, so see you're not missing much if you wanted to get a little meditation in. I'm just going to do a short one. Report an error

7:40 So the most important element of the posture is just keeping your spine extended. I like to imagine it literally extending up from my pelvis. Report an error

7:51 If I'm in a chair, just to make sure I'm not leaning against the back of the chair, because we don't want to be too comfortable. Report an error

8:00 And then rolling your shoulders back. Report an error

8:06 Making sure they're level. Having Report an error

8:14 your eyes lightly open and unfocused about three feet in front of you. Gazing about three feet in front of you. Report an error

8:28 Chan is just slightly tucked under, which opens up the back of your neck. Report an error

8:42 Thumbs resting on the roof of your mouth. Report an error

8:48 Thumbs are resting in your lap, right over left. Thumbs touching lightly. Or on your knees. Report an error

9:03 And if you're seated in a chair, then your feet are just flat on the floor. And if you're seated on a cushion, just having them in whatever position feels comfortable for you. Report an error

9:20 We're just going to focus on the breath and try to concentrate on the breath, either at the level of the belly, as your belly rises and falls with each breath, Report an error

9:38 or at the level of finding a little patch of skin inside the tip of your nostril. Now focusing all of your attention on that patch of skin, sensation of the air, your breath. Passing over that patch of skin and coming in or out. One cycle being one and trying to count to ten. We'll try to do a few minutes. Just try to focus your full attention on that and not get distracted. And every time you notice that you are distracted, just gently placing it back on the breath. Report an error

10:13 And Report an error

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14:03 start thinking about our motivation for being Report an error

14:12 very short and having Report an error

14:40 a positive motivation. Report an error

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15:38 Full bodhicitta motivation. It's that we want to become enlightened, become a Buddha so that we can benefit others, which sometimes seems so vast, such a huge thing to even think. Report an error

15:58 Shakyamuni Buddha was once exactly like us. In this class, we're actually going to learn more about his qualities, what makes him such a worthy object of refuge. And he said it's completely possible for all of us to do the same thing. He wasn't special. Inherently, he became special simply by working with his mind. It Report an error

16:36 sets some motivation now that whatever we learn tonight and the next few weeks in these classes, whatever experience we personally have, that we can use it, apply it in this lifetime so that we can truly work with our own minds and become more benefit to them. And ultimately that it plants the seed for our own enlightenment, our own Buddhahood. Report an error

17:26 With Report an error

17:32 the Report an error

17:46 wish Report an error

18:03 to free all beings, I shall always go for refuge to Buddha, Dharma and Saṅgha until I reach full enlightenment. Page 8. Inspired by wisdom and compassion, today in the Buddha's presence, I generate the mind of full awakening. you need some hot water, Sherry? It might be Report an error

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18:21 For the benefit of all sentient beings, as long as space remains, as long as sentient beings remain, until then may I too remain and dispel the miseries of the world. Report an error

18:42 So hi, Chokyi. Like I said, I think I know all of you. And there will be a little bit later I'm going to... I shouldn't say that. I'm going to ask you guys to all introduce yourself, but now you're not going to hear a word I say until then, right? You'll be thinking about what you're going to say. Report an error

19:03 But I think this class is on refuge, and we're going to talk about even what that means. Unlike some of the other classes, it's not as straightforward. I think it's a little more open to interpretation. People aren't exactly sure. say. Report an error

19:20 So hopefully there is a level of curiosity in the room. Just a little about the logistics, some of which I usually say when I start a Discovering Buddhism class. Since this is such a short class, I'm not going to say so much in the way of logistics because I'm going to leap right in. This is a Tuesday-Thursday class. Report an error

19:43 However, we do not meet next Thursday. So it's a Tuesday-Thursday class this week. The next week we just meet Tuesday, and then the following, the final week, we meet Tuesday, Thursday. So there's only five classes. We have Geshe-Lis having his Frasya-Safa retreat next week, and so that's why we decided not to have it. Report an error

20:05 And there is a final retreat day or practice day scheduled for Saturday the 5th, and I'll take a count and see sort of as it gets closer if that will actually happen. Report an error

20:20 Not enough people, then we probably will reduce it in some way or have it just for the morning. Since this is such a short class, this is actually, I think, one of the shortest classes I've taught, although some of the Discovering Buddhism classes were actually designed to be four or five or six weeks long. Report an error

20:40 I almost always do them for seven or eight weeks because I started realizing the first time that I taught them that people really like to bond. You know, they like to discuss. We have to allow time for discussion. People have questions. People also like to get to know each other. And so I just decided to extend them. Report an error

21:00 I just don't see how people can get through all the material in such a short amount of time. This one I had intended to do as a six-class series. And then at the last minute, because of the retreat, we had to cut a class. So that's kind of what happened with that one. Because it's so short, It's even more important to try to, especially to try to do the meditation homework if you can, of anything to try to do that one, than if you possibly can to do the reading. Report an error

21:33 And then, of course, it's always great if you can't do anything else to just show up. I know with the schedule being Tuesday, Thursday, already a number of people told me that it's going to be difficult for them to come to every class. That being so... Report an error

21:50 Come to as many as you can and then send me an email and my email address will be on the syllabus. And then I can send you notes and homework and things like that by email. And I'm happy to do that. I'm also happy to give you copies of my notes at any time. If you attend the class but you still want copies of my notes so you don't have to take notes. That's totally fine. But you have to remind me. Report an error

22:21 So the content of this class is that we're focusing on generating this mind of refuge. This mind of refuge, as I'll say a little bit later, Lama Yeshe, who's the founder of the FPMT, used to call it doing refuge. Instead of taking refuge, sometimes you hear generating refuge or taking refuge. Report an error

22:45 And he called it doing refuge. And we're going to talk about sort of the difference there. But it's definitely something that you repeatedly engage. Your mind should be fully engaged. It should be a really conscious thing that you're doing. And we have to develop it. And we develop it based upon understanding what on earth it is that we're taking refuge in. Report an error

23:09 And why. So it's like a sort of a, we educate ourselves. And in the course of this... class, we're actually going to educate ourselves. Report an error

23:21 There is a refuge ceremony that we scheduled for Sunday the 30th, which is I guess a week from Sunday. Everybody in the class is not necessarily taking refuge, so don't be afraid if you didn't know that that was happening. However, there's probably a few people that are planning to take refuge. That are in the class, or if you're even just considering it, I'd love it if you attended that day, that afternoon, because you can learn a lot at the refuge ceremony, just watching it, even if you're not taking refuge. Report an error

23:59 Geshe-la teaches about refuge, and he teaches about the commitments of refuge, and also it's just really, really sweet to cheer your Dharma brothers and sisters on. So that's coming up on the 30th, and that's a Sunday. I get moved every time. I just find it really moving. People are deciding that Buddhism is their main spiritual path. Report an error

24:25 That's pretty much what taking refuge means. For me, when I took refuge, it's like after a few years of walking around the pool, I finally dived in. That's the way it felt. That's the way it still feels. Whenever I say I've been a Buddhist for, in this case... 13, how many years? Yeah, 13 years. I always date it from having taken refuge, even though, of course, I was attending classes and reading and things like that. Report an error

24:52 Prior to that, actually, the first teaching I ever went to with Lama Zopa was four years before that. But when I date it, I always date it from the moment that I took refuge, because I really did feel a shift, and I still feel that shift. Report an error

25:11 For me, March 10, 1996, which happens to be Tibetan Independence Day, kind of conveniently enough. But I'll tell you about my refuge later. I have a very interesting refuge story. The format, most of you guys know the format, but I'll just state it. Usually we'll start with some sort of a little short. Report an error

25:36 meditation motivation thing at the beginning sometimes we'll actually do the meditation assignment especially in a short class like this because I know you guys might not have had a chance to do it especially between the Tuesday and the Thursday there's like no time so A lot of it is just to get you to arrive and get me to arrive as well. Report an error

26:00 Um, and then I, I almost always open it up for some sort of questions about whatever it was that you've been reading or meditating on or we've been discussing. Then I present a little bit and then I ask for questions and then somewhere in there you get a break and then we end with something. If we have time, we end with a meditation. Report an error

26:21 If not, then we end with some sort of closure of a dedication, something like that. I prefer if I'm in the middle of saying something and people don't just yell out things, because I definitely will lose my train of thought, which is why I have these notes in front of me. Report an error

26:39 My memory is not what it used to be. But it's totally fine to ask a question and you can raise your hand, and especially if I list... Seven of this or three of that or four of that and you missed number two or number seven or whatever. What I'll try to do is if I read you guys a quote, I'll read it twice just so you don't have to panic if you miss something. Report an error

27:00 I'm also always happy, and I haven't always remembered to tell you guys this, but if you really like a quote that I say in class, because I really like to use quotes from holy beings because I'm not one. Report an error

27:12 And they say it really well because they are. But if you like a quote, just tell me and I can email or give you a copy of something. Because sometimes that's so inspiring to have a quote from a holy being. Report an error

27:32 And again, if you miss something, don't be embarrassed if it seems like everybody else gets it. And that being said, it's really important to know that this is the 7th of the 14th. Discovering Buddhism modules. This Discovering Buddhism program has 14 different modules, 13 classes, and the 14th is like an experiential module, a practice module. Report an error

27:59 So this is kind of about halfway through. So there's a certain assumption that you might already know certain things that you personally might not know. So don't feel dumb to just raise your hand if everybody's like... nodding like intelligently they might be feeling just as stupid and they might come up and ask me after class so just raise your hand and ask like I didn't get what you were saying about the mind just then just could you explain that a little bit or something like because it's very possible they might have been just nodding because they remembered something that they have to do when they go home tonight so Report an error

28:35 So please don't feel like you're the only one that doesn't get something. Report an error

28:42 If you are interested at all, the Discovering Buddhism program, it's possible to take all 13 classes in the 14th, do the 14th module, in order to receive a certificate. If you're interested in doing it, I call it doing it for credit, you know, when I'm talking about things. So just so it doesn't lose anybody. Usually, there's quite a bit more outside coursework for those people. Report an error

29:10 So if people are interested, definitely you would get it at a much deeper level, which can only serve you. But of course you have to have that interest. And so I usually teach it at a sort of more common denominator level. And then there's a lot of ways you can take it. You can just sort of show up. Do the best you can with the homework. You can do all the homework and then you can decide to do it at this deeper level and do the additional reading and things like that. Report an error

29:40 Some of the additional things that they ask for are retreat, usually retreat requirements. But if anybody is interested, we can make an appointment to talk about it. Report an error

29:54 And so those 14 modules, we are about halfway through and I was just looking at the calendar today. It looks like we're going to finish. The Discovering Buddhism program this cycle at the end of next year. So it kind of goes like that. It usually takes about two years to cycle through it and then we just start again. Report an error

30:16 And sometimes people will take the same class every time it's offered. I actually had one woman who did that with the death class. She really liked the death class. Some people just take them whenever they can, whatever is offered. Some people try to take them in order. Some people just take what interests them, you know, karma but not refuge. Spiritual teacher but not bodhicitta or whatever. Report an error

30:43 Something like that. So any way you take it is fine. It can only help. Of course, if you take them all in order, they do build on each other and you will get a different understanding than others get. But that being said, some students that... I have been studying here for quite some time, including Karen, who's leading the meditation for me tonight, started whenever she started and just began taking them. Report an error

31:11 She's actually one of the few people that I know who is very, very intent on getting that certificate. Report an error

31:19 She's been working on it for about five years. Report an error

31:24 The lineage of these teachings, just briefly, all of these teachings that I am trying to give you guys So there you go. Report an error

31:33 From the historical Buddha, Shakyamuni Buddha, all of these teachings that we now call Buddhism were just his observations on getting enlightened. So he didn't really set out to create a philosophy. He wasn't trying to get a bunch of followers. In fact, he didn't even want to teach after he got ordained, after he got enlightened. Report an error

31:56 He felt like there's no way we could possibly understand. It was so profound, his experience. And then, of course, everybody begged and he began teaching. And so what he chose to teach was exactly what he knew would get us enlightened to. So he wasn't necessarily trying to create a religion for the modern day world. He was trying to teach us how to get enlightened. Report an error

32:22 So everything that he taught had this in mind. The byproduct is that you can also become happier, so it does become more applicable for people who aren't necessarily in it for the long haul. But the sort of final goal was always that we all get enlightened and we all become exactly like him, which he said was completely possible. Report an error

32:49 So that being said... Sometimes, and probably not so much in this class, but in some classes, there's a lot of knowledge out there that's related to Buddhism. Buddhism has been around for more than 2,500 years. So a lot of times people really just want to talk about... Report an error

33:06 Different philosophies and different terms and things like that. And so if that happens, sometimes I kind of gently try to steer you back to the scope of the class because we have such a limited amount of time and there's quite a bit that I want to give you. Report an error

33:24 I used to call it, I really don't want to create Dharma monsters, but you could also say I don't want to create Mr. Know-it-alls either. It's just basically people who aren't so interested in working with their mind, but they just want to know a lot of things. So that's not really my goal, and I don't think it was the Buddha's either. So if I do try to pull you back, don't take it personally. We can always talk about whatever your thoughts are outside of class, but again, because the class is so short, I might have to try to keep us on topic. Report an error

33:56 I don't think I'm going to give the context so much of these teachings, actually. I think I normally sort of go through the history of Buddhism. Report an error

34:11 Basically, I'll tell you a little bit about mine and my own history, and especially with this subject, and then I'll open it up and find out kind of what you're doing here, what you'd like. to get from the class, or if you have anything specific. Or you're just here because it's not a Tuesday night. That's OK, too. Report an error

34:32 As I said, I took refuge in 1996. I also started taking some pretty profound lamrim teachings in 1996, mostly in 96, 97, 98. I took a lot of lamrim, mostly in California. Report an error

34:51 Actually, although I did also go to Copan in Nepal for two different month-long lamrim courses. And my teachers for both of those was Venerable Neil, Venerable, his, Thuptan Dundrup is his ordained name, Venerable Neil, Houston, Australian monk of many, many years. Report an error

35:14 And... I also took a lot of lamrim classes from Geshe Michael Roach, who was at that point teaching at a lot of the FPMT centers too. Of course, my main teacher is Lama Zopa Rinpoche, and most of the teachings that he ever gives, no matter how it's written up on the advertisement, is always lamrim. Report an error

35:35 Even if he's giving the most profound empowerment, it always ends up being lamrim. It's always a trick, actually. And of course, many of my other teachers you all know as well, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Chitin Rinpoche, Venomori Rinpoche, who passed away a few years ago, Geshe-la, who's right above us. Report an error

35:57 And I would say that my most profound teachings on refuge have come from Venomal Neil at those two lamrim courses. Report an error

36:10 Yeah, I'll wait and tell you my refuge story a little bit later, I think. As I said, when I took refuge, for me it was like jumping in. It was definitely engaging in the teachings. What I loved and still love about Tibetan Buddhism is how it's all laid out like a guidebook. You meditate on this and this and this and you do this order and you do it for this amount of time. They're really precise. It's like a cookbook almost for enlightenment. Report an error

36:37 I like that. I really, really like that. You add this and this and this and you get compassion. It's so straightforward. And they almost always tell you the measure of having attained it, as though I were close. But they tell you if you are still doing this, then you haven't attained it. But if this is happening, then that means you've attained it and you should move on to a new topic. Report an error

37:04 It's definitely like that. Report an error

37:08 The whole idea of Buddhism, as I said, is just to transform your mind. And so all of these methods, all of the things in this room, all the tankas, all the practices, all the teachings, all the texts, everything has that in mind, is just working with our mind and transforming it, transforming it over time, getting closer and closer to understanding reality as the Buddha perceived it, which is a complete flip. Report an error

37:38 From how we currently see reality. And the biggest way that you will ever, probably the most profound way that you will ever engage with these teachings, any of these teachings, is not in a class, it's not in reading, it's definitely in meditation. And I would say probably 80 or 90 % of the most profound experiences are in retreat. Report an error

38:07 And so we will talk a little bit more about that because it's so important in your Dharma career to make time for a retreat. Even if that retreat is one day, even if that retreat is one morning, even if that retreat is incredibly short, there are ways to do it. So even as a mom of a toddler, there are ways to do it. Report an error

38:35 We'll talk more about that later on, but definitely the most profound experiences that I had with the practice of refuge, which we'll also talk about because there's a practice of refuge related to this. Report an error

38:48 We're in retreat. And then one last thing, the Discovering Buddhism program and all these classes are loosely based on the lamrim. The lamrim in Tibetan means the graduated. Steps on the path to enlightenment. So they're talking about these steps, these topics that we meditate on, on our way to getting enlightened. Report an error

39:15 And so with the Discovering Buddhism class, we literally just cycle through. I mean, it's like there's no delay. When one ends, the next one begins. We just keep kind of chugging along. And part of the reason is it's sort of the way we should be. Report an error

39:33 Meditating on them outside of class. We just meditate on this topic for a while and then we move on to the next topic and then we move on to the next topic. Some topics are much easier to gain realizations that they actually say can happen in just a few weeks. Report an error

39:50 Some of them take years and years and years to meditate on. But we just keep cycling through and it's really important to know that... Every time you cycle through, every time you receive a teaching on the lamrim, every time you meditate on the lamrim, every time you read anything about the lamrim, you go deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper because your life experience has changed since the last time. Report an error

40:16 The teachings are already profound, but several things happen in our minds that make us open up. One is we might have purified. Obstacles, negative karma that might block us from understanding the teachings. We might have accumulated the merit that create the conditions for us to be able to hear and understand the teachings. Report an error

40:38 And then, of course, we just have experiences in our life that make certain topics really hit home. For example, death and impermanence is much more meaningful once we've gone through the death of a loved one or something like that, or once we've received a diagnosis or something like that. So... So every time we cycle through, we gain something of it. So it's not the baby food that we get to graduate from at some point. Report an error

41:07 You will graduate to other teachers, and that's great, but the topics themselves will just become sort of the stuff of your life. They already are the stuff of your life. This is just simply other perspectives on how to work with that stuff. Report an error

41:24 So that's my blah, blah, blah, and I'll tell you more about me as the course goes on, but I would love it if you would just introduce yourself, just briefly say who you are and why this particular topic, and also just a little bit about your relationship with Buddhism. And you know I'm going to start with you. I'm going to actually also ask you to... Report an error

41:50 If you wouldn't mind closing that door just a little bit, just because I don't want to bother the meditators. Yeah, that's fine, just bringing that one closed. Report an error

42:02 I'm Gina. I've been coming on and off for maybe two or three years. DB classes are coming to meditation. And I wanted to drop in on some of the refuge classes because I find the subject very intimidating. Report an error

42:23 kind of skeptical about a lot of things, so I thought the best way for me to combat that would be trying to actually learn about it instead of just going on my fear and suspicion. Can I say what you actually said? That's fine. Only if you say your response, which was much funnier than mine. Gina was afraid we were going to be handing out Kool-Aid tonight. Report an error

42:52 I'm glad you made it, though. Report an error

43:06 Gosh, has it already been ten months? Wow. Report an error

43:29 Was there anything special about the subject of refuge or is it just like the next DB class? Report an error

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44:22 You guys work together, right? Or you're working the same? It's nice to see her again. Jerry used to volunteer here every Friday for quite a while. Report an error

44:36 And then for a while we used to have a Friday midday meditation, just a silent meditation. It's been a while. Report an error

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45:15 Great. And you've come to the drop-in a few times now, right? Yeah. I Report an error

45:40 think there's something so lovely about just even the word refuge, just thinking about what that means and that there's sort of a bigger umbrella. And so that's just attractive to me. I'm curious. Like, I don't know what the umbrella is exactly, but I'm like, oh, I like umbrellas. Let's check this out. Report an error

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47:06 And retake refuge, which you don't have to do. Some people choose to do it. And in fact, some people, and we'll talk about that too, some people sort of take it every time Geshe-la offers it, which he always is kind of like, you know, these silly Westerners. But I can see, in your case, in that story. And I think a number of people actually that's happened with, especially if they, in your case, I can kind of see what happened where you just really wanted to take refuge and this is what was happening. Report an error

47:36 Some people actually were in another tradition. And then decided they wanted to be in this tradition, and so they it's sort of a symbolic. It's like starting over in this this tradition Report an error

47:47 have a break scheduled for now, but it's still a little bit early, and they're still in there, so maybe I'll just keep going, and then I'll give you a break after they take it, because they end a little after 8. Report an error

48:06 Refuge, as I said, it's called the gateway to the path. One thing I really, really love is that Tibetans don't call it taking refuge. They don't call it, I mean I make jokes sometimes and I call people refugees if they're going to do the ceremony. People get mad, but actually somebody else did that. I can't remember. It was somebody like either Rubina or Rita or somebody else, some other nun called it refugees because it is a little like we become refugees, right? Report an error

48:36 It's like we're looking for that harbor. We're looking for some place. Tibetans actually call it becoming an inner being. When you take refuge in the Buddha Dharma Saṅgha, when you enter this phase of your practice and that you decide that this is your main spiritual practice, which is really what that ceremony is all about. Report an error

48:56 They call it becoming an inner being, and that's because we stop, not all at once, we begin to stop seeing... All of our happiness is coming from outside of us and all of our suffering is coming from something outside of us and we start going within to try to work it out. And so becoming an inner being is actually sort of the goal of taking refuge. Report an error

49:21 I really like that term. I think it's such a cool term. Those of us who have been inner beings for a while, we still have to keep learning, right? Because it just seems like it's all coming from out there. It's like, oh yeah, wait, I could work with my mind on this, couldn't I? Report an error

49:38 So it does take time. It is a lifetime practice. And I keep kind of going back and forth between when we take refuge formally, there's a ceremony for taking refuge. At the beginning of the class, we sort of took refuge, right? What does that mean? We took refuge. Sometimes people think, oh, it's like saying the prayer. No, well, actually, when we say the prayer, we're trying to cultivate a state of mind of refuge. Report an error

50:05 And that's really what this refuge is all about. And so... Sometimes it's easiest to think about, and this is what we're going to be thinking about in this class and then as our homework, what do we turn to when things are rough? That's a form of taking refuge, whatever it is that we turn to, and it's not always good things. Probably we've tried it all, but we're trying to find some happiness and some relief of suffering, and that's a form of taking refuge. Report an error

50:41 So the basic situation or the basic condition that we all are in is wanting very much to be happy and not wanting to suffer. And every time we're not happy, we're trying to do something about it, right? And both psychologically as well as physically. And every time that we're suffering, we definitely are. Report an error

51:04 We're doing something about it. We're trying to do something about it. The slightest thing from shifting around in our seats and trying to get a new position that might bring us some happiness for a few minutes to whatever. It's the sort of baseline motivation that occupies our mind 24 hours a day. We don't even know it's there. We're so used to it and it's so unconscious that we don't even realize that that is a motivating factor. Report an error

51:32 Most of the time that we're alive. It's actually a shock sometimes when we're able to think of somebody else first. And it's not to say that we're all selfish at all. It's just the sort of, the Buddhists that made this observation that this is actually just what human mind, and not even just human mind, animals and insects do it too. Report an error

51:54 And the beings that we can't necessarily see. Yo, no, that's okay, come on in. I just was afraid of bothering the meditation class. I wasn't blocking you out. Report an error

52:09 But really when we think about it, this baseline motivation of just trying to be happy and trying to avoid pain becomes the cause of so much of everything that we do. Some things are obvious, right? So like. Report an error

52:27 You know, going out and buying flowers or something to be happy. But I mean, people commit suicide to be happy. People rob banks to be happy. People kill people to be happy. People take drugs to be happy. People stop taking drugs to be happy. People, you know, get jobs to be happy and quit jobs to be happy and get involved and break up and eat and throw up. Report an error

52:51 It's like everything that we do, it has this bottom line. And everything actually that's ever been done in the history of humanity has been done for somebody to be happy. It hasn't worked. It hasn't necessarily worked. In fact, most of the time it hasn't worked. And certainly it hasn't lasted. But sometimes it hasn't worked at all. Report an error

53:18 Sometimes it's created amazing chaos and havoc. But it was done at some level to be happy. you know. And if you ever think about people who have, or maybe you yourself, have suffered from intense depression, as you were mentioning. I've had a number of friends who have literally just gone to bed and just refused to get up. Report an error

53:44 I remember one friend talking to her through the door, trying to get her to open up the door. And she was just trying to be happy. That was how she felt like she could be happy, was just not seeing anyone. Just not, you know, being out in the world anymore. And then on the other extreme, you have the people that, you know, work on Wall Street for 18 hours a day just trying to make a lot of money and they're just trying to be happy, you know. Report an error

54:08 And then they spend more and then they get into debt and then they have to pay it off so then they're still trying to just be happy, you know. And it's this intense but constant cycle. Report an error

54:20 And so when we think about it, And if we ever spend any time thinking about whatever we've tried to be happy, which I think is a useful exercise, it's sort of attempting to have some sort of a refuge. We're trying different forms of refuge. The thing that makes us different, I mean, the source of our happiness and the different things that we try might slightly differ, but this wanting to be happy is exactly the same. Report an error

54:53 How I do it, how I try to be happy and how I try to avoid suffering might differ. But the only thing that really makes it unique is this term, me. Report an error

55:05 Otherwise, it's that same gut feeling. It's the same. It's just this idea of me and mine being somehow unique and special. But in reality, whatever happiness we've ever had and whatever suffering we've ever had, it's almost certain. That somebody in the world has had the same happiness or the same suffering, and probably much happier happiness and much worse suffering than we've had. Report an error

55:33 But as soon as we notice that we're suffering, as soon as we notice that we're suffering, we usually try to relieve that suffering, and that can be considered a form of refuge. And we started out doing that when we were little kids, you know, and running to mommy, you know, wanting mommy to fix it. Report an error

55:53 Or whoever was taking care of us, but I'll say mommy, so you fill in the blank. My grandma also raised me, so I'm running to grandma. Sometimes grandma was a little nicer to me. Report an error

56:05 Sometimes grandma had fun things hidden around the kitchen for me. But whoever it was, whether it was your sister or your father or your mom or whoever, just running to that person and wanting them to take away your pain, whether it was the scraped knee or something bigger. mean... Report an error

56:21 And usually that wasn't so bad for a while, you know, depending on her mommy. Sometimes it worked, you know. Sometimes she did try really hard to remove the suffering, and we didn't notice if she couldn't not remove the suffering. It seemed to work. But then as we got older, she wasn't quite as successful at removing the suffering. Report an error

56:43 Or maybe our suffering got bigger. Our problems got bigger. It wasn't just the ice cream man or, you know, the skinned knee or something like that. And so then we started finding other refuges. And those other refuges could be anything. I mean, think about all the different things that we've tried to take away pain or to take care of us when we're sad or lonely or scared. Report an error

57:05 And I mean, the list can be endless. You know, sex, drugs, rock and roll, relationships, work, food, you know, anything. Anything at all that we've tried. Literature, you know. Report an error

57:20 Making money. Music. There's lots of different things that we could try. Sports. A lot of people are heavily into sports. Anything that might take away that pain and bring us some sort of happiness. Report an error

57:35 One of the reasons why mommy didn't work so well in the long run is that she is also an imperfect being. She's like us, according to the Buddha. None of us are... We're all imperfect beings because we're all created by karma and delusion, basically. That's actually what made us, is karma and delusion. Report an error

58:02 So we're imperfect sort of by nature. And so when we turn to something imperfect, be it a thing or a person, it can't really help us change our overall condition. It just mostly acts as a distraction. But sometimes if it's a person, that person may have genuine love for you and may want very much to remove your pain, you know, like mommies do or daughters do. Report an error

58:33 If you've ever been, if you've ever cared for an aging parent, you know, you want to take away that person's pain, you know, whether it's a parent or a loved one of any kind. We can only do so much because we have only limited capacity. To help that person. They can't end our suffering completely. And they can't take away the causes of our suffering, which is a really big one in Buddhism because everything is based on cause and effect, karma. Report an error

59:03 If they can't take away the causes of our suffering, even if they can relieve the suffering itself momentarily, it comes right back. Because we haven't really gone very deep with it. Report an error

59:15 It's just sort of allayed the symptoms a little bit. It's like aspirin. And the aspirin wears off. So after a while, so we keep changing refuges, you know, like that didn't work. Well, let me try this. That didn't work. I did a lot. I think probably a lot of people do this a lot in their 20s, right? Maybe 20s and 30s. Yeah, maybe 50s. Definitely teens. But I did a lot in my 20s, I think. Report an error

59:43 It was sort of like trying art, trying politics, trying spirituality, trying, you know, like this, this and this, you know, relationships, like trying everything out, you know. Report an error

59:54 And trying to find something that felt like it was it in terms of helping. It's like you're looking for something that's beyond just a Band-Aid, because all those other things are just like Band-Aids in a way. And so you're trying to find something more meaningful. And sometimes art and politics and relationships are incredibly meaningful. Report an error

1:00:20 It's not to say that they aren't, but sometimes... You know, like a, like... Report an error

1:00:24 They aren't actually getting us to the source, which the Buddha always teaches is the mind itself. And in fact, with certain drugs and so forth, it actually just clouds the mind. We aren't actually able to really even look at our mind in that state. And we definitely aren't getting to the root cause. So it's also important when I say that the Buddha says that these things originate in our mind. Report an error

1:00:53 Or that the root cause is in our mind or that we have to look within and become inner beings. It doesn't mean that if we have problems that it's our fault. I'm not saying that. Report an error

1:01:07 We already think that enough, I think, especially if we have any problems with depression or discouragement or anything else. We already blame ourselves too much. He's not saying that. He's saying it originates within mind, period. We just happen to have one. I'm not saying that. Report an error

1:01:23 So we just spend a lot of time looking for our happiness outside of us and looking for, you know, blaming other people for all of our problems and the Buddha is saying it's just a colossal waste of time actually. And all these refuges have also been a colossal waste of time in a lot of ways. Not to say that we haven't learned from all of our exciting trials and tribulations, but in the end, Report an error

1:01:53 Once we start delving deeply into our own minds and once we actually, I mean really what it takes is cultivating a completely different world view. I mean that's really what it ends up doing. I mean and I think a lot of us have started thinking that way or we wouldn't even be here. You know we wouldn't be checking out different spiritual paths. Report an error

1:02:15 Like it wouldn't even, spirituality period wouldn't even interest us if we were like happy with the status quo. So the more that we can Report an error

1:02:28 Understand that, first of all, it's absolutely fine that we want to be happy. I think that that's really important to know. That's nothing wrong with us. There's nothing wrong with us that we want to be happy. Report an error

1:02:40 And there's nothing wrong with us that we don't want to suffer. And there's nothing wrong with us that we want those people that we love to not suffer and to be happy. None of that makes us bad people. In fact, it's wonderful. It's a good starting place. The Buddha would just say, but why not everybody? And that we actually can become the tool for them becoming happier. And by the way, as Lama Tsongkhapa always says, on the way we end up becoming happier too. Report an error

1:03:10 But if we look at happiness, like what happiness is, and I think a lot of times we don't actually even think about what happiness is. We just know we want it. Report an error

1:03:21 We want to be happy, but we aren't sure. I mean, if we all went around and said, what's happiness? We'd probably all have a different idea of what happiness is. But I think we'd all agree that we want lasting happiness, right? We don't want it just temporary happiness. And we don't want it to be imperfect. We want it to be perfect because we don't want it to degenerate. Report an error

1:03:45 We don't want it to be like really, really happy and then start like, you know, like one of these bulbs when it starts going out, you know, and it gets less and less and less and less and less. And it is possible. It is possible. So the difference is not so much turning to, I mean, what we're going to talk about in here is there's a lot of different levels of refuge. Report an error

1:04:09 We start with thinking about what's called outer refuge, which is the kind of refuge that we kind of think about when we think about taking refuge in the Buddha and the Dharma and the Saṅgha. We'll define those terms because, you know, Buddhism always defines its terms. Report an error

1:04:27 Which I love, actually. I love that, especially about Tibetan Buddhism. There's no assumptions. But there's nothing wrong with turning to something to relieve that pain and to help us become happier, as long as we understand that whatever it is that we are turning to, you know, this... In this case, if we're turning to the Buddha, we're turning to his teachings, the Dharma, we're turning to those who sincerely practice his teachings, the Saṅgha. Report an error

1:05:03 We are related to that too, so it's not just like turning to Grandpa. It's not like we're turning... Initially it starts out as being outer refuge, but ultimately it ends up totally being... It just becomes like a bridge. This happens in... A relationship with a spiritual teacher, too. We end up having a relationship with an outer teacher, or many. And they are just simply bridges to our own inner guru. Report an error

1:05:31 That's really all it is. They just become the human face of our own wisdom. And we learn eventually to just rely on our own wisdom. In the same way, we ultimately begin to take refuge in our own. Buddha nature, our own potential, our own qualities, our own wisdom, our own compassion and so forth. But until that point, then we study the different qualities of the Buddha, we study the different qualities of the Dharma and we want something that's reliable and something that's trustworthy and something that's solid and perfect. Report an error

1:06:17 As Venerable Neal once said, it's sort of like if something is imperfect, it can never give us perfection. If we turn to somebody who's an imperfect source of our happiness, like a lover or a mother or whatever, there's just no way that they can bring us everything that we're seeking, that kind of lasting happiness. Report an error

1:06:50 We need somebody who has actually been able to pull away from this entire experience that we currently find ourselves in, which is what's called saṃsāra. This world, these worlds, these bodies, these minds even that are created through our karma and delusions. Report an error

1:07:13 Because we keep getting ourselves into trouble and so we need a method out, we need a way out. And so we look to somebody who's had a mind like ours and was able to perfect it. Report an error

1:07:25 And so that's really what relying on the Buddha is about. I mean that's personally why I rely on the Buddha and his teachings. They make sense to me, I try to understand what they are and then it's easier for me to take refuge in them. Report an error

1:07:41 Buddha is really, simply put, A Buddha is really just perfected mind. It's somebody who had a mind like ours and was able to eliminate all the negative aspects of it and perfect all the positive qualities. Report an error

1:08:00 Sangye in Tibetan means sang, it means purified, purified every negative. And ye means evolved, meaning developed or evolved every positive quality to the point where it cannot be. be developed any further I can't even imagine in some ways you know it just seems like that's why I say perfect But I think it's really, really important to always, always, always remember that the Buddha was exactly like us. Report an error

1:08:31 So the Buddha is not like the way God is presented in some religions, where he popped into being like this. He was somebody that was exactly like us. He was messed up. He had depression. He got angry. He was jealous. He had all those things that we have. You fill in the blank. Report an error

1:08:51 And he was able to, through intensive practice and diligence, free his mind of all faults and perfect every quality. And that's all that Buddhahood is. And then, of course, the power that comes from that is the ability to help others. Because you have perfected your mind and you can know all there is to know because you don't have obstacles to that knowing any longer. Report an error

1:09:20 You don't have afflicted states of mind, like resentment or sadness or hatred. And so nothing... Nothing disturbs your ability to know all that your mind wants to know and has the capacity to know. Right now, just think about how your mind did in that initial meditation. If your mind is anything like mine, it wasn't exactly on single pointed. And the reason is, is just because our mind isn't subdued, you know. Report an error

1:09:58 It still has thoughts that arise and ideas and like, you know, reactions to sounds and it's just constantly doing that, you know, day in and day out and we're just usually just following those. And then we're like, in a meditation we're like, oh, extract, go back to the breath. But in life, Sometimes it's just literally like you're just in this room full of popcorn or something. Except it seems far more exciting than popcorn. Report an error

1:10:27 And just imagine for a moment not having any afflicted states of mind, ever. No matter what happens, they just don't arise. There's no cause for them to arise. I mean, that can be your meditation. Just imagining... What it would feel like. And sometimes in meditation actually it is possible to reach a point where if you've been meditating for a while you don't see them for a minute. Report an error

1:11:01 And you can kind of imagine what that would feel like. And hopefully all of you guys have had that kind of a moment even if it's literally like a second where that it's... That kind of peace does happen simply because all of that craziness just dies down a little bit. Imagine if it was just completely eliminated. Report an error

1:11:25 But you're not like a zombie. It doesn't make you into a lobotomy case, you know. It's like you're actually clear and focused and creative and able to, you know, think perfectly, perhaps not conceptually. They don't think. Conceptually, they don't have to. Report an error

1:11:47 So you're clear, you know, if you've ever seen anyone, for example, who has spent many, many years in retreat, I always, there's this part of me after many years, I still think they're going to be somehow like, you know, I kind of, I don't know what I'm expecting, somehow like different or they won't be able to interact correctly or something. Report an error

1:12:11 But when I, for example, There's a couple of examples. Tenzin Palmo is the one I usually bring up. I spent 13 years in a cave in Lahore, upper Ladakh, near India. I mean, near Tibet. Report an error

1:12:29 She is like one of the most amazing people I've ever met. And on top of being amazing and clear and bright, she's got a very funny sense of humor. She totally engages with you, you know. I mean, it's not like she's... You know, out to lunch or anything like that. Another example is Tenzin Chokyi. Anyone that's ever met Tenzin Chokyi, who also happens to be a good friend of mine, but I can still say this. Report an error

1:12:52 She totally has clarity and presence and amazingly funny sense of humor. And, you know, it comes like the more that she has meditated and the more that she has gone with these teachings and taken refuge deeply. were, um... Report an error

1:13:12 In this particular path, the afflictions begin to die down. And it's not that she's beating them. That's just the side effect of, I mean, you are trying to work actively to eliminate them. It's true. There are definite methods to eliminate negative minds. But there are also methods to strengthen positive minds. And sometimes the net result is the lessening of the negative mind. Report an error

1:13:42 Which is kind of the easy way in. Especially strengthening wisdom. So it's important for us to actually even get that it's possible for us to eliminate those afflicted states of mind. Because sometimes it feels like that's all there is. And if we eliminate them, then what's left. But going for refuge, there's some statement of trust that there is something better. Report an error

1:14:10 There is something else. You know, there's it's So it's not necessarily that you're the lemon going off the cliff. You're the first one in line when they hand out the Kool-Aid. So you're not handing over your intelligence. In fact, you have to use your intelligence to develop your sense of refuge. And then you often have to remind yourself, before we take a break, Report an error

1:14:43 Because now they have cleared out and you guys can actually open the door. It does feel awfully stuffy in here. I did have one story I remember when I was, I went up to Laudo, which is where Lama Zopa Rinpoche was born. And his previous incarnation, the Laudo Lama, meditated for 20 years. And I went up there actually to do, conveniently enough actually, I didn't even think about it, but I went up there to do my refuge practice. Report an error

1:15:12 I was up there for about six, weeks. And it's very close to the Everest. It's in the Everest region of Nepal. It's quite a track, actually. Report an error

1:15:27 So I was up there for six weeks, and I was doing the refuge practice. And it was right at the beginning of monsoon season. Report an error

1:15:39 So I was up there April. I remember I went up on April 1st, and I was up there for six weeks. And, um, um, I don't know. Report an error

1:15:45 And at the end of that time period, Lukla is a very particularly interesting airport, actually. Did you ever go into Lukla? Oh my God. Lukla has a runway that's about the size of this classroom. I mean, I'm not even kidding. It's such a short runway. It's very short. Behind it is a mountain. And in front of it is a drop-off. Report an error

1:16:15 of about 12,000 feet and so as you're coming in they circle it for a while and it's kind of like if they don't hit it then you you don't land or you land in a bad way so if they don't break soon enough you'll slam into the mountain and if they don't hit it then you'll fall off and there's like wreckages of planes there too. Report an error

1:16:44 So they just leave there. So when you're flying in, everybody's kind of like, oh. And it's not just Buddhists on the plane either, like trekkers, people that are going to the Everest base camp and stuff like that. I remember I became friends with some teachers from England on holiday and stuff like that. So everybody's like, oh. And then when he finally lands, everybody's like, yes, yes. Report an error

1:17:09 So attempting that in the rain. In the monsoon, once you land, it's like you never want to get out of there again. And so I kept thinking, oh my God, they're going to cancel, they're going to cancel. All the flights were canceled. You started hearing words, even though Lauda is quite a bit away from it. You started getting word, oh, all the flights have been canceled. You're never going to get out. Report an error

1:17:33 And I'm just like, you know, I'm getting all freaked out. I'm not sleeping. I'm like, maybe I should go down early. Maybe I should just walk all the way. Maybe I should, which is like, you know, days of walking. Report an error

1:17:44 And then I mentioned it, that I was worried to the monk that was living there. Lama Zopa's sister actually runs the place, and there was a monk there too. And he just said, oh, why don't you just take refuge? He just simply said it like that. It was like, just take refuge. You know, like, duh. I wasn't a nun at the time, but still, I was clearly doing a retreat there, and I was just like, oh. Report an error

1:18:14 There's really not a lot of room for this fear. It's just the habit of fear. And of course I got out totally fine and it was fine and everything was fine. But it was kind of like the most important thing was that my mind wasn't fine and then I had to remember the whole purpose, the whole reason that I was there. Report an error

1:18:38 I think about the way he said it too sometimes when I'm getting upset about something. And the way he said it too, he was Tibetan, so he kind of didn't quite say it like that, but it was definitely kind of shrugging like, you know, think of that. Report an error

1:18:58 So why don't we take a ten minute break, and then you guys can come back, get some tea or water. I don't know, I think there's some cookies out there. There might be some cookies out there. Chocolate chip cookies that Michelle's mom made. Report an error

1:19:19 Help yourself. Report an error

1:19:41 She feels much better. I know sometimes it works better in there, but I'm not sure if it would have actually. Report an error

1:20:04 Actually, I heard it first, but then I totally wasn't aware of it. Oh, you signed it, okay. I was like, oh my gosh, everyone's going to be bugging me. Report an error

1:20:18 That's so weird. Report an error

1:20:33 Janet's going to love it. I know, it's just that kind of... Report an error

1:20:45 Thank you. Report an error

1:20:54 Well, you probably, I mean, really, Thursday and Sunday are going to be the wackiest, but Friday and Saturday, well, they're just the beginning and the end. It's mostly just like, how can we fit a bunch of people in without matching a bunch of people in? Report an error

1:21:12 And then, you know, whoever doesn't fit, how do we make them feel really inclusive? I'm super you. Report an error

1:21:19 Some people no problem. Well, we're actually borrowing 15, I might even borrow 20 from L &B that are the same size. So the only ones that fit in here basically will be those little mats. And these will be for people who are out in the hallway. Report an error

1:21:42 Yeah, it's like a reward for being further away. Report an error

1:21:54 Janet did too, actually. Janet pinched something in her back. Report an error

1:22:07 You know, it's... Sometimes the things that happen with our bodies are so weird. And it's usually like, well, I mean, you know, my story with my knee, right? Everyone's like, well, how did you, you know, like you're going to say I was running a marathon or something. It's like, I got down in front of Geshila to talk about something. Yeah. Report an error

1:22:33 Sure. Report an error

1:22:42 know, in my life I've had some nice teachers like you. Report an error

1:22:48 people that I've learned things from weren't particularly nice to me, you know? Interesting, but you still feel, you still recognize that you learn something from them. Yeah. Oh, I guess I was thinking more positive ones, but yeah, that's an interesting thought. Report an error

1:23:12 Yeah, yeah, that's the way I would, maybe, yeah, that's true. Report an error

1:23:22 Yeah, just pick the ones that you really would want to have, or that, yeah, that you kind of will always imagine as part of your teacher circle or something. Yeah, that's a good point. You know, I mean, constantly it comes up whenever you use the examples of mothers, you know, that people have varying relationships with moms and stuff. Report an error

1:23:41 So I always try to bring that in, too. So now I'll try to remember it with teachers, too. Yeah, no, people have really frightening relationships with teachers, too. Report an error

1:23:56 It's true. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, when she was doing, were you there when we did the teacher meditation? Report an error

1:24:07 Yeah, when we were like bringing forth remembering and she was just saying that some of those teachers are actually horrifying to her and she did. She might have learned from them, but she didn't necessarily want to see them again. Report an error

1:24:21 That one's a hard one because there's, you know, I mean, it goes for, especially the older you get, like the more, you could just go into that for forever. Report an error

1:24:32 I actually just wrote that one, and when I was leading it, I was just like, there's not enough time for anyone to remember anybody. Then I'm totally second-guessing myself. I'm like, this is a dumb meditation. There's not enough time. But hopefully it just brings up enough of an idea that you can try it on your own. I think that's more of the idea. Report an error

1:24:57 lot of times I think of them as isolated. Yeah. Report an error

1:25:03 yeah, that's true. And also that they can be just ordinary people that just happen to teach you something really profound. Report an error

1:25:13 They'd almost probably be horrified that you thought of them as a teacher. Report an error

1:25:35 I know you're bringing me a large present. It's interesting what the mind imputes on the generic image. Report an error

1:25:58 No, no, right here, 1.30. Yeah, there's a sulk that night at 7, but the refuge ceremony is at 1.30. Report an error

1:26:12 The sulk. That's true. Report an error

1:26:13 The Sok means gathering and it actually is a highest yoga tantra commitment and what we do at that one is we connect, this is the merit field for it, we actually connect with all the lineage lamas going back to the Buddha and we have a chance to like through doing it we purify our vows and our pledges and things like that. Report an error

1:26:36 It's a lot of, it is a puja, it's true, but it's And there is a lot of merit that we create by doing it, and so you do dedicate it to people who have died or are sick. But the real reason that we do it is actually to fulfill this commitment that's within highest yoga tantra to do it, which is gathering in a group. Report an error

1:26:56 We're supposed to do it in a group, reconnecting with our lineage lamas and our gurus, and then purifying ways that we've broken pledges and bowels and things like that. So that's what that was about. It is open to anybody, though. There's a lot of chanting, and it's in Tibetan and things like that. But there's also cymbals and drums, so it can be interesting as well. Is everyone going to eat one? Report an error

1:27:20 That'll be in English, no. Everybody eats it. Report an error

1:27:29 Yes, yeah, how old is he? Five. Five, yeah, no, I think that's fine. Just know that if he gets bored or something, that he can go in the dining room or whatever and draw or something like that. Totally depends on the kid. Report an error

1:27:42 But yeah, it's really fine to bring him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's very good to see, I think. It really, even though it happens during, at the very tail end of the retreat, there's nothing connected. It's just that we had a really good translator, and so I grabbed him. so so So Elizabeth, she's the program coordinator, she kept thinking it was connected and I was like, no, it's not connected in the least, it's just Steve's here and I wanted to be able to have a good translator and also to be able to announce it like months out to people so that they could think about it and make plans. Report an error

1:28:24 And also so Emily and the teachers down at Giawagazo could also announce it in case people want to come up and take refuge with Geshevah, which so far I haven't heard anybody that has, but sometimes that's the case. Report an error

1:28:43 No, we're actually, I mean, yeah, people will be all different levels. Some people will be intermediate or even advanced, but it's really May for the beginner level. He's going to do it at the Action Tantra level, which means, and he'll talk you through it. The first night, if you can only come to one session, or if you can only come to a couple sessions, include the Thursday night, because he's going to explain a lot during that one, and he's going to, he'll take a lot of... Report an error

1:29:12 Questions and answers during that time. So that's the best one to come to. And then after that, I'm sure, because we have the translator the whole weekend, he'll probably have Q &A the whole time to some extent. But I think he's going to try to have it be more practice for the other ones. Report an error

1:29:35 Yeah. No, no. Actually, Friday and Saturday, actually, it's two sessions, 10 to 12 and 2 to 4. It's actually in the daytime. Yeah. Yeah, but it's also totally fine to just come to some of the sessions because that's kind of what we set it up that way for too. Report an error

1:30:00 It's on the website. Yeah. Bye, Karen. Thank you. And I'm like, bye, bye. Report an error

1:30:17 We probably should have had a flyer for it, but of course we didn't. Um... Report an error

1:30:22 I mean, it is on the website, but it's a little hard to read on our website. It's kind of like, Report an error

1:30:36 oh, did you? So you did Vajrasapha down there. Was it the Vajrasapha retreat? Did you do the one at Land of Medicine Buddha? No. Oh, there you go. There you go. I was going to attempt to draw a calendar. That's kind of where my brain is. Thank you. I was going to do one of the square ones. Report an error

1:31:09 But it is specifically designed for people who have not done it before, people who have never done anything like that before, people who just are interested and people who have done it before and want to do it. And it's also specifically designed knowing that not everybody can come to every session. So that's totally fine too. Report an error

1:31:36 We have been trying to get Geshe-la to do a retreat, a practice retreat for years. And we just haven't had the karma. So this year we have the karma and we are just totally thrilled. So it's going to be what it is. And it's a funny, I mean, a lot of people are like, why are you even trying to do a retreat? Report an error

1:31:54 We're not a residential center, blah, blah, blah. But, you know, I think it's going to be perfect the way it is. So, yeah, yeah. So, okay, sure. Report an error

1:32:21 Okay, so just one last thing and then I'll take questions. And then we'll end with a meditation similar to one that you guys have. Just a little bit about mind because it plays such a huge role in going for refuge and it plays a huge role in getting enlightened and it plays a huge role in Buddhism, period. Report an error

1:32:52 Mind is a very deep subject and in fact... There are many classes. There's a Discovering Buddhism class that's just about the mind. There's also several of the basic program classes that are just about the mind and how it works and so forth. But the basic thing to know from a Buddhist point of view about mind is it's defined as what is clear and knowing. Report an error

1:33:18 It's also, the Buddha said, that our mind is beginningless and endless. So that when this particular... Life ends our mind. The subtle most aspect of our mind takes rebirth in another form. And that all the conditions of that other form are created by our karma, which is the result of our afflicted states of mind or our virtuous states of mind. Report an error

1:33:50 And so it becomes what's called this sort of cycle. Cycle, saṃsāra, it's sometimes called in Sanskrit, or psychic existence, it's called and sometimes translated into that. But this mind of being clear and knowing is sort of almost like the pure nature of our mind. Report an error

1:34:13 It's almost like awareness. In fact, I was actually just reading a section of Seven Point Mind Training by Alan. Wallace today, or I mean it's not by him, of course, it's translated by him, but there's some commentary by him, and he was saying that there's so many different aspects of mind that sometimes the word gets a little confused, and actually awareness is a little, this description of being clear and knowing is really describing this awareness, this sort of base naked awareness, which is the aspect of our mind that sort of contains all these. Report an error

1:34:51 These afflicted states of mind, these conceptual minds, and unfortunately these confused and ignorant states of mind. Report an error

1:35:04 When we are seeking refuge in something to bring us happiness, if our unhappiness begins in this mind and our happiness begins in this mind, we want somebody who has figured it out. Somebody who knows their own mind. Somebody who knows mind, period, and how to work with it. And so that's something I didn't mention. Report an error

1:35:32 I wanted to just mention that because if we're going to work with it, we need to find... It's sort of like if we decide we want to become a concert pianist, we need to find somebody who can really, not just play, but really play. We want to find somebody who can really show us how to play. We want to find somebody who can really show us how to work with their mind. Report an error

1:35:55 And right now our different states of mind are all sort of jumbled up. Even when we do positive actions, even when we have positive states of mind, all these little sort of negative things pop into them, you know. As one of my teachers said, it's sort of like you're chanting a puja and you're... Hoping that somebody notices how much of it you've gotten memorized. It's like we're doing a virtuous action and we almost shoot ourselves in the foot by these kind of crazy self-aware states of mind that we all have and we all have until we get enlightened or until at least we have a direct perception of emptiness. Report an error

1:36:39 Lama Yeshe sometimes calls it little mind. We get caught in this little mind, this little closed, tight, you know. Memorized. Yeah. Um. Report an error

1:36:46 Blindered little mind. And his whole goal is always to develop big mind. Take off the blinders, you know. So it is possible for us to remove all the confusion and all those delusions. They aren't an integral part of mind, which I think is another reason to think about the sort of base awareness as being this medium that kind of holds these various thoughts. Report an error

1:37:12 All these thoughts, these crazy, you know, the anger and the resentment and the hatred and the depression and the jealousy and, you know, obsessive attachment and things like that, they're like the pollution that can be removed from the water. You know, they aren't the water itself. And that's very, very important to understand because that process is really what the Buddhist path is, removing those negative states of mind. Report an error

1:37:41 It becomes what our work is. And it's also important to realize that mind is the same for all beings. We're just really aware of our mind. Actually, maybe we're not. We're becoming really aware of our mind, and so we think we're really horrible. We've got some dark little secret. But actually, all mind is the same. Report an error

1:38:03 Some people actually just have no idea of what's going on in their mind. So the good news is that these different afflicted states of mind are not... An innate part of our mind. Report an error

1:38:21 So I just wanted to mention that. And those negative states of mind are simply mental habits that we've gotten used to. We sometimes choose the devil we know because it's just a certain way of our mind thinking. Venerable Bino used to always talk about working in the garden, you know, like working in our mind, like working in a garden and removing the weeds and planting the roses. Report an error

1:38:47 And then, of course, you're not shocked when the roses bloom. Or you shouldn't be because you put them in. And you're not, you know, too shocked when there are a bunch of weeds there because you didn't take the time to take them out, you know. So it's the same thing. Working with our mind is a lot like that, actually. I think the gardening thing really works a lot. So why don't I just open up and see if there's any questions about anything that I said so far. Report an error

1:39:14 And then we'll close with a meditation on refuge, a shortened version of the one that you're going to work on this week. Report an error

1:39:22 Any questions? Report an error

1:39:34 Because English is my second language. You're doing great. Thank you. I would like to know a little more explanation about the afflictive minds. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Report an error

1:39:47 So sometimes it's translated. Well, the Sanskrit word is klesha, which I actually really like, having a klesha attack. I don't like having a klesha attack, but I like the term. Report an error

1:40:01 Klesha is translated sometimes as delusions, which of course sounds like we're mentally ill, which actually is the case to some extent, according to the Buddha. Sometimes it's translated as afflicted states of mind or mental afflictions. I actually personally like mental afflictions, MAs. Report an error

1:40:24 Sometimes I think His Holiness calls them... Report an error

1:40:29 What does he call them? Like afflicted emotions, I think he calls them. So there's a lot of different translations, and I actually like knowing all the translations because not one of them really works, but they all kind of work together. But it's basically the way that it's described or the way that it's defined, if I want to give the precise definition, is akletia or delusion is anything that disturbs your mind. Report an error

1:40:55 Anything that disturbs your mind. So from the subtlest irritation or, you know, attachment to, you know, to road rage, you know, or, you know, sniper, you know, I mean, it's just like, it can be anything in between. So it doesn't have to be just the big stuff. That's why I like to mention that, because sometimes it's, I mean, I think how many we've had since we walked through the door, you know, and they aren't always. Report an error

1:41:25 You know, hatred, hopefully. You guys haven't been like totally obsessing about how much you hate me. But sometimes it's just like your mind is like beginning to obsess about whether or not you left the, you know, cheese in the fridge and whether or not, you know, your roommate ate it all so you could have it for dinner tonight. Report an error

1:41:41 That becomes attachment. So that can also, that's disturbing your state of mind, you know. The quote that I read last week in the karma class. I really like the way His Holiness put it. He said something like, people don't realize that anger and attachment and these other afflicted states of minds create waves in our mind. Report an error

1:42:03 And that's what keeps us from having the peace of mind. If we can remove those waves, which we do through reasoning, he said, then we can have peace of mind. It's not like some yogi trip of, you know. It's literally through understanding that, you know, the disadvantages of those states of mind. It's also through having a direct perception of emptiness, which he didn't get to, but that's another story. Report an error

1:42:33 Does that help? Okay. Yeah, yeah. So now when you're experiencing one of those afflicted states of mind, you can go, oh, this is a Kaleisha attack. Report an error

1:42:45 Anybody else? Right behind you. Report an error

1:42:51 Is refuge necessary for enlightenment or is it just helpful? Report an error

1:42:58 Yes, I would say that it is. I mean, within the Tibetan tradition for sure, because all you're doing with refuge, and like I said, there's a couple different ways you can get there. All you're doing is deciding this is the path I want to master and mastering it. Report an error

1:43:22 Basically, it's like this mind that you are deciding that I'm going to rely on this teacher and his methods, and that's what I'm going to use. So if you don't make that step, then you probably won't. You'll keep shopping, or you'll keep walking around the pool. Report an error

1:43:45 You won't actually jump in, or you're jumping in the shallow end. And there's nothing wrong with going. Going slowly, but at some point life is short too, so you kind of have to just decide this is, you know, whatever you're deciding, whatever path you're deciding, but you have to decide to actually do it, engage with it and do it. Report an error

1:44:07 So I think from that standpoint you do. Whether or not you have to, I mean, you know, this is the Tibetan tradition, so we do have rituals and ceremonies and things like that. um but there you know I think it's part of the Buddhist tradition, at least the Mahāyāna Buddhist tradition, to actually somehow formally take refuge. Report an error

1:44:30 Because you are doing that in your mind. The most important thing always is what you're doing in your mind. So you can go to as many rituals as you want to, but if you're thinking about the cheese in the fridge, then you haven't ever taken refuge anyway. So it's mostly about what happens in your mind. Report an error

1:44:47 I'm sure that it was totally possible for a Tibetan that didn't have anyone near them for thousands of miles to take refuge because it's what you're doing in your mind. It's like a commitment. And then the ceremony is a commitment ceremony. But I mean the real work is what you do before you actually go to that ceremony or after I guess. Report an error

1:45:11 It's after too. The main thing that you are committing to is not Intentionally harming another living. So you are making some commitments too when you take refuge because you are committing to working with cause and effect with karma. So you're making that commitment too. These are good questions. It's actually good for me to think about this. Do you want to pass that to Gina? Report an error

1:45:43 Just a quick follow-up. When you just said committing to not intentionally harming another human being or sentient being. Another being, yeah. Another being. Yeah. Yeah. Report an error

1:45:51 You mean more than physical harm though, right? Yes, intentionally. That's the key word. We will continue to screw up. But hopefully we'll develop more and more mindfulness about it and at least ownership of it. Report an error

1:46:12 Who else? Anybody? Yeah, Courtney. Simple question. How often are the refuge ceremonies done? You know, normally they are more frequent. Normally it's literally like quarterly. And this one has just been very, very hard to... gather because we didn't have that Carmen have a good translator. We are currently, for those who aren't on the e-news list, I sent out an email on Sunday night. Report an error

1:46:45 We are, I think today. Probably sometime this week, we're submitting all the paperwork to try to do a religious workers visa for a good translator who will be a regular translator for us again. And when that's the case, then it's quite easy, then it's usually like sort of once a quarter or so, then we'll ask Eshala to offer refuge. Report an error

1:47:09 Sometimes you'll see it at the end of some teachings by Chodan Rinpoche, for example, or some other visiting teachers. Somebody else might give refuge. I think sometimes at the end of a lamrim retreat will give refuge. So you will see it, you know, other teachers too, like that. You should, and we will talk about this, but whoever you end up taking refuge with remains your refuge Lama for your whole life. It doesn't mean that that person becomes your main guru. Report an error

1:47:43 I unfortunately didn't receive, I received a lot of teachings in the first couple of years, but not so many from my refuge Lama, who happens to be the abbot of Ganden Monastery in Tibet, I mean in South India, although he wasn't at the time. Report an error

1:47:58 Just to remember that, that that person kind of holds that place in your heart. So you should think about that and just make sure that you check up that you want that person to be in your life in that way. Because that person is always your refuge Lama. Chris? Report an error

1:48:17 I brought up two questions in no particular order. So with what you just said about that person being your refuge Lama for the rest of your life. Report an error

1:48:33 Since I'm newly back to San Francisco and haven't had an opportunity to sit in on one of Geshe-la's teachings, is there anything like, I know Venerable Rabina is on YouTube, you know, is there any online thing that I could? You were going to sit in on some of the Vajrasafah, right? I'm going to try. Yeah, so at least for the, maybe try to come on the Thursday night. Report an error

1:49:00 And then you'll get some sense of who he is and all. And if there's any feeling in your mind that you're not quite sure, I mean, just wait. That's okay. You can still listen to it. You can get a lot out of what comes up and you can just, you know. I mean, for your case, because you actually have taken it before within the Buddhist tradition, then it's probably less of an issue. Report an error

1:49:21 But still, it's a good thing to know, you know. I didn't check up so much on mine and fortunately karma took care and I ended up with a really good one. I teach now because I want you guys to know more than I did. Report an error

1:49:38 But anyway, what's your other question? In Thich Nhat Hanh's tradition, he gives certificates after you take refuge and you get a Dharma name. But see, one of the conditions of the certificate... Is that you have to formally take refuge once a quarter. Or at least, if you can't formally do it, at least recite the five mindfulness trainings that you committed yourself to. Report an error

1:50:05 Or else your commitments and your refuge becomes null and void. I kind of was like, okay. So is that part of this? We'll talk about the commitments later. And in fact... On Thursday this week, what I'll do is I will just find out if people are thinking about taking refuge. And then because of how this class is working, we're like sort of half the classes before. Report an error

1:50:34 Well, actually, three-fifths are before and two-fifths are after. I wasn't going to bring up the refuge commitments until later in the class. But now what I'm going to do is give it to you before and then also meet with people. So what I was, what I've done in When I put it out to the community that Geshehla is offering refuge and people contact me, I either meet with them or talk with them on the phone or whatever about the different commitments. Report an error

1:51:05 And then hear what I would like to do if there is anybody interested. And also if there's anybody from outside the class that's interested. I was thinking about maybe Friday after the last session, so like 4.30 or 5, of the Visitor Software Retreat, so that Friday. So not this week Friday, but next week Friday. Just sit down and talk about it with people so that we kind of answer all the questions before that Sunday comes, you know, like that. Report an error

1:51:28 So that's a possibility we can do. And then I'll talk about it all again with the class the next week. But because I want to make sure that, again, you guys had more information going into it than I did. I didn't really know what I was doing. And I will tell you my story at some point. Yeah, does that help? Okay. Report an error

1:51:49 Good. Anybody else? Any other questions? We're going to just end with a sort of shortened version of the meditation that you're going to work on. And this meditation is actually a lot of times, you know, this term refuge, we don't really know what it means. And there's also this idea that it's some weird Tibetan. Report an error

1:52:16 thing or there's some weird yeah She's like, where's the Kool-Aid? Come on, you promised. You have to change your name. There actually is in the ceremony, as Chris mentioned, there is a point where you do get a new name, although I didn't. Not that I'm resentful. Report an error

1:52:38 So it's not standard. You don't always. You're supposed to, but it doesn't always happen like that. The reasoning that you do get a new name, um, um, Report an error

1:52:48 It's like you're starting a new life in a way. It's like you're starting over in a way. But most people don't use those names except you just kind of know that's your name and stuff, but it's not like you have to change your email. Report an error

1:53:05 Nothing like that to do that. And like I said, I didn't even get one. I did get one when I took lay vows, which is interesting. Usually you don't get it then unless you do it in the same ceremony. Report an error

1:53:20 Anyway, but a lot of times we think of it as just being this Buddhist practice or this something kind of weirdo. And it isn't really important for us to begin this class, especially thinking about the ways that we've already taken refuge and stuff our whole lives. And so that's what this meditation is, is just thinking about all those things and people and activities and experiences that we have turned to when we're in need. Report an error

1:53:49 Lama Esha used to say, taking refuge is nothing new. We take refuge all the time, but always in temporary objects. When we're sick, we take refuge in a physician and medicine, and when we're depressed, we seek refuge in a friend or even chocolate. Report an error

1:54:06 These objects of refuge obviously only give us some sort of a temporary relief, like we just talked about, and they don't have the perfection and the power to liberate us. But it is still worthwhile, I think, looking at all the things we've taken. So let's just quiet our mind for a moment, now that you're single-pointedly thinking about chocolate or anything else you've taken refuge in. Report an error

1:54:39 And just think about what you normally, either now or in the past, have turned to when you're scared or sad or lonely, upset. And Report an error

1:55:22 how those things might change over the course of your life. The things that you turn to in your 20s might be different than the things you turn to now. Or not. Report an error

· · ·

1:56:24 Only something that is free can free another. Report an error

1:56:32 Only someone who's perfect leads someone to perfection. Report an error

1:56:43 Start thinking about those things that we've turned to and why they didn't help or only temporarily help. Report an error

1:57:21 All the Report an error

1:57:31 Buddha is, is perfect, Report an error

1:57:36 free of all faults and possessing all the qualities. Report an error

1:57:58 And the Buddha has already demonstrated his ability to overcome his karma and clashes, Report an error

1:58:09 to get fully enlightened. Report an error

1:58:15 What we call the Dharma is actually his teachings, his methods, or actually those methods as they're realized. In the minds of others, practitioners. Report an error

1:58:36 And Saṅgha are those practitioners, those sincere practitioners who are putting these methods into effect right now. Report an error

1:58:54 So once we understand the situation we're in and once we begin to understand the qualities of the refuge objects, taking refuge is just like relying on them. Report an error

1:59:09 It's like entrusting ourselves to them. Report an error

1:59:15 And ultimately, them is us. Ultimately what we take refuge in is our own Buddha nature, our own future realizations, our Report an error

1:59:33 own direct perception of emptiness and generation of bodhicitta. Report an error

1:59:50 Once we recognize the situation that we're in, we start looking for a way out and refuge is the first step. That's why they call it the gateway to the path. Report an error

2:00:15 Let's dedicate this class. And anything that we might have learned or understood or gotten out of it, to all of us in this room, being able to cultivate this mind of refuge, just to get us through the choppy seas, you know, just to get us through all Report an error

2:00:40 the scary stuff, all the lonely stuff, all the sad stuff, all the disheartening stuff, Report an error

2:00:48 ultimately, so that we can transform this mind, this heart, into big mind, as Lamiya she calls it, so that we can... Find that happiness that we're looking for and become the cause of that happiness in others. Report an error

2:01:12 Thank you. Report an error

2:01:26 Spot on. Nine o 'clock. You've done this before. Report an error

2:01:41 Homework. Report an error

2:01:44 I do have homework and I also have a syllabus. There you go. One of each. Do you want to take them around? Thank you. Christine, do you want? Report an error

2:02:05 So when do you leave, Gina? Friday. And then when you get back? On 31st, Monday. I know you told me, but, and I know it on a visual, but, thank you. Report an error

2:02:47 Thank you. Oh, okay. place for them? Still right there? Is that a little more? Yeah. Report an error

· · ·

2:03:23 words, but where does it work? Apparently, I only had a trial it on my laptop. I can make it into a PDF if you want. Okay, yeah. Report an error

2:03:36 Lama Zopa Rinpoche. I was like, Autumn, read that kind of Facebook. Send it back. Report an error

2:04:03 Next. So we have class this Thursday. Yeah, that's right. Hello. Well, we're also physically finally focused on this retreat. Bye, Courtney. Bye. But it is, it hasn't come yet. Report an error

2:04:26 Oh, we're still recording. So about yourself, are you sure it's this person? No. Report an error

2:04:06 ending it again. Report an error

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Talk by Lobsang Chokyi, recorded 18 August 2009. Original at Tse Chen Ling Center for Tibetan Buddhist Studies via Internet Archive: https://archive.org/details/LC_Refuge_20090818. Licensed CC BY-NC-ND 3.0 US. Transcript generated automatically and may contain errors; the audio is the authoritative version.

Recorded at Tse Chen Ling Center, San Francisco, and archived by the center on Internet Archive. More from Tse Chen Ling

Listen on Internet Archive · CC BY-NC-ND 3.0 US