Discovering Buddhism - Developing Bodhicitta (6 March 2008)

0:00 Although, we don't do this anymore. Report an error in the passage at 0:00 Highlight the passage at 0:00

0:07 Okay. Hello. We're going to be talking about bodhicitta with Report an error in the passage at 0:07 Highlight the passage at 0:07

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:12 refuge. How many people have refuge? Report an error in the passage at 1:12 Highlight the passage at 1:12

1:20 Okay. Well, we can say the prayer, even if you don't have it. But there's page Report an error in the passage at 1:20 Highlight the passage at 1:20

1:38 34. Report an error in the passage at 1:38 Highlight the passage at 1:38

1:55 I go for refuge in term of light, and to the Buddha, the Dharma and the Supreme Assembly, by my practice of giving in other perfections, may I become a Buddha to benefit all essential beings. I go for refuge in Thelma Nighden to the Buddha, the Dominus, the Supreme Assembly, by my practice of giving and other perfections. become a Buddha to benefit all sent to me. Report an error in the passage at 1:55 Highlight the passage at 1:55

2:15 I go for refuge in Thelma Nighden to the Buddha, the Dominus, the Supreme Assembly, by my practice of giving and other perfections. May I become a Buddha to benefit all sent to me. May all sentient beings have happiness and the causes of happiness. May all sentient beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. Report an error in the passage at 2:15 Highlight the passage at 2:15

2:36 May all sensitive beings be inseparable from the happiness that is free from suffering. May all sensitive beings abide in their community, free from attachment to friends and hatred for enemies. Okay, let's Report an error in the passage at 2:36 Highlight the passage at 2:36

2:54 try to do some sitting here. Back straight, neck and shoulders relaxed, chin tucked in slightly, eyes directed to the ground in front of you. Report an error in the passage at 2:54 Highlight the passage at 2:54

3:15 Tongue is on the upper power behind the front teeth. Lips slightly pushed together, very relaxed though. Report an error in the passage at 3:15 Highlight the passage at 3:15

3:28 Right hand placing upon the left where the thumb's touching, just resting gently and glad. You can also keep your hands on your knees, it's okay, just one position that's comfortable, so you don't fidget. We'll just follow the breath, letting go of all today's activities, thoughts, Report an error in the passage at 3:28 Highlight the passage at 3:28

3:57 sensations, just riding on the breath as we breathe in and out, the rising and falling of our abdomen. Report an error in the passage at 3:57 Highlight the passage at 3:57

4:27 count one with everywhere. Report an error in the passage at 4:27 Highlight the passage at 4:27

4:36 you get distracted, just start over. Report an error in the passage at 4:36 Highlight the passage at 4:36

· · · silence, 7 minutes

11:44 Discovering Buddhism is a series of usually Report an error in the passage at 11:44 Highlight the passage at 11:44

11:57 about eight big segments and they cover basically the Buddhist path, the mind, how to meditate, the view of the Buddhist path, the dying, refuge, karma and so on, Report an error in the passage at 11:57 Highlight the passage at 11:57

12:28 various subjects. They have a somewhat overall overall continuity to them. different readings that you'll get a binder for. And you want to take it for credit, you can take the whole series. There are some little bit of extra steps to do that. A Report an error in the passage at 12:28 Highlight the passage at 12:28

13:10 lot of Report an error in the passage at 13:10 Highlight the passage at 13:10

13:24 people just try to do it without Report an error in the passage at 13:24 Highlight the passage at 13:24

13:30 interest studies the first time. Report an error in the passage at 13:30 Highlight the passage at 13:30

13:35 know because if you are interested we need Thank Report an error in the passage at 13:35 Highlight the passage at 13:35

13:51 actually, very few of my Report an error in the passage at 13:51 Highlight the passage at 13:51

14:07 We're going to talk about bodhicitta. Report an error in the passage at 14:07 Highlight the passage at 14:07

14:13 What do people think bodhicitta means? Report an error in the passage at 14:13 Highlight the passage at 14:13

14:42 So far no one's got it right. Report an error in the passage at 14:42 Highlight the passage at 14:42

14:47 That's what? That's getting hot. Hotter. Warmer. Report an error in the passage at 14:47 Highlight the passage at 14:47

15:04 When Report an error in the passage at 15:04 Highlight the passage at 15:04

15:07 doing an action, having the intention of doing it for the benefit of others. The Awaken one. Report an error in the passage at 15:07 Highlight the passage at 15:07

15:17 These are all very good things that you're bringing up and they're part of the discussion on bodhicitta for sure. But the actual Report an error in the passage at 15:17 Highlight the passage at 15:17

15:31 bodhicitta is the mind that seeks enlightenment for Report an error in the passage at 15:31 Highlight the passage at 15:31

15:45 the benefit of others. So there's two parts. There's the part of seeking enlightenment and there's the part of for the benefit of others. Report an error in the passage at 15:45 Highlight the passage at 15:45

16:07 So you have to have both of those. And in order to have what they call actualized bodhicitta, you actually have to have this arise spontaneously. Report an error in the passage at 16:07 Highlight the passage at 16:07

16:24 So it takes practice. We don't have to worry about that. We can have what we call aspirational bodhicitta, which means we aspire to have bodhicitta. Report an error in the passage at 16:24 Highlight the passage at 16:24

16:40 But a lot of times people do kind of think it's all about... Loving Kindness and Compassion. But it's actually, it develops out of Loving Kindness and Compassion. It's actually the mind that is seeking to become enlightened so that it can benefit others. And I think this will become a little bit more clear because one of the things we're going to work on in this class is what we call six cause and one effect or seven point cause and effect. Report an error in the passage at 16:40 Highlight the passage at 16:40

16:47 and wisdom, loving kindness and compassion. Report an error in the passage at 16:47 Highlight the passage at 16:47

· · · silence, 1 minute

17:19 Meditation or instructions to realize bodhicitta, to kind of develop bodhicitta. And that will help give us a grounding for what I mean by this last aspect. But anyway, this is what really, this bodhicitta though, is what really makes us Mayana practitioners. Report an error in the passage at 17:19 Highlight the passage at 17:19

17:48 This is the definitive aspect to... Being Mahāyāna Buddhism is this bodhicitta. And although most of us have and don't probably have actualized bodhicitta, most of us were on this Mahāyāna path of aspiring. Report an error in the passage at 17:48 Highlight the passage at 17:48

18:11 So this is the big distinction made for Mahāyāna is this bodhicitta. We're trying to get enlightened, we're on the same path as anyone else in Buddhism to get to this ultimate room. Report an error in the passage at 18:11 Highlight the passage at 18:11

18:28 of mind or ultimate reality, enlightenment, that we have a slightly different focus there. Report an error in the passage at 18:28 Highlight the passage at 18:28

18:39 And in our view, and I'm kind of speaking from the Tibetan Buddhist training that I've had, I don't know exactly how it's presented in many other Buddhist traditions, but in the view that we are presenting, you need... Wisdom and compassion conjoined in order to reach... So it's not just about the wisdom aspect, and what we mean by wisdom is wisdom into the ultimate nature of reality, Report an error in the passage at 18:39 Highlight the passage at 18:39

19:19 which kind of, wisdom is what breaks through our self, our grasping itself, which is the cause of our problems, Report an error in the passage at 19:19 Highlight the passage at 19:19

19:35 but we also need this compassion. Report an error in the passage at 19:35 Highlight the passage at 19:35

19:43 So... Report an error in the passage at 19:43 Highlight the passage at 19:43

19:50 Does anyone have an agreement on that? Do we need to explain that a little bit more? Does everyone know what we mean by this wisdom? Does everyone know what the problem of why we're stuck here is? Why are we stuck in this cycle? I know you're at different levels. I mean, you know, some people have heard this before and some people maybe, it may be new, so that we need to make sure that everyone's understanding our terms. Report an error in the passage at 19:50 Highlight the passage at 19:50

20:24 We haven't realized emptiness, but... When we talk about the Four of Noble Truths and the Truth of Suffering and the Cause of Suffering, what is the Cause of Suffering? Report an error in the passage at 20:24 Highlight the passage at 20:24

20:41 Intention, kind of, but it's really defined as this grasping at True Existence or grasping at Self-Existence. Report an error in the passage at 20:41 Highlight the passage at 20:41

20:58 And the Wisdom of Emptiness is very, very important because when you realise that the Self is nothing more than a mere projection of all these kind of thoughts and feelings and things like that, a karmic influence. Then you realize it's not as solid as it appears to be and then you start to dismantle it and deconstruct the self that you have put so much effort into every day constructing. Report an error in the passage at 20:58 Highlight the passage at 20:58

21:30 So we need the wisdom aspect, but we also need the compassion aspect. We have two wings of a duck. Report an error in the passage at 21:30 Highlight the passage at 21:30

21:44 Now, in my own experience, because I really think the wisdom aspect to me was the thing that really held me to Buddhism at the beginning. I kind of had to really consider, like, why is it that we need bodhicitta? Or do we really need bodhicitta? Report an error in the passage at 21:44 Highlight the passage at 21:44

22:10 Is it possible to get enlightened without bodhicitta? Report an error in the passage at 22:10 Highlight the passage at 22:10

22:22 And even if we don't need bodhicitta, is there still some benefit? Report an error in the passage at 22:22 Highlight the passage at 22:22

22:38 Of course, some of this I couldn't answer. Still haven't been able to answer. Because of course I'm nowhere near being enlightened. But when I kind of took it apart, it started to make some sense because Report an error in the passage at 22:38 Highlight the passage at 22:38

22:55 developing the bodhicitta, developing loving kindness and compassion is another way of cutting this strong self-grasping, which is the root of our product. Report an error in the passage at 22:55 Highlight the passage at 22:55

23:18 So basically we're approaching it from two sides. The wisdom side and the compassion side. This problem which is grasping self-existence. Report an error in the passage at 23:18 Highlight the passage at 23:18

· · · silence, 1 minute

24:04 If we look at the sources of our suffering, we have suffering of suffering, which means we have pain, hunger, thirst, physical pain, things like that. We also have suffering of change, meaning that relationship which makes us happy changes and now we're not so happy. Or that new car, which was the source of our happiness, is now changed into the source of our suffering. Or that hot sun that was so nice for one minute is now creating too much heat, so it's now the source of suffering in the next moment. Report an error in the passage at 24:04 Highlight the passage at 24:04

24:41 We also have what we call all-pervasive suffering. And this is the suffering of just merely existing, basically, to make it simple. It means that we're all caught up. Report an error in the passage at 24:41 Highlight the passage at 24:41

24:55 In this cycle, we're constantly doing actions and we just kind of take it for granted that this is the way things are. And we undertake actions of body, speech and mind that just kind of keep us in this cycle. And then just being in the cycle of itself is suffering. Report an error in the passage at 24:55 Highlight the passage at 24:55

25:22 And then we take it apart and we look at the cause of that suffering and it's just grasping us. And this is where the wisdom aspect comes in a little bit because if Report an error in the passage at 25:22 Highlight the passage at 25:22

25:47 we look at the notion of who we are, of who we think we are, Report an error in the passage at 25:47 Highlight the passage at 25:47

25:55 we come to believe that that's the way we exist. Report an error in the passage at 25:55 Highlight the passage at 25:55

26:02 Buddhism says that the self is not inherently or truly existent. So, for example, we have Monlam sitting here in front of you. Report an error in the passage at 26:02 Highlight the passage at 26:02

26:26 And he believes that he is this Buddhist monk who has this life story of having been born in North Dakota and having grew up in Minnesota and gone to Georgetown University and somehow found his way in India and then somehow over time became an artist and then a Buddhist and then a monk and here he is. Report an error in the passage at 26:26 Highlight the passage at 26:26

26:51 All these kind of different concepts. And that becomes who he believes he is. He also strongly identifies with his body. The problem is with Report an error in the passage at 26:51 Highlight the passage at 26:51

27:07 that is when you try to find Monlam, what we mean by Monlam, you can't find it. Because if Monlam is his body, there is no solid Monlam to hang on to because his body is in motion from moment to moment. It's changed. From the moment I walked in this door, you know, in this room, there's not the same Monlam. Report an error in the passage at 27:07 Highlight the passage at 27:07

27:38 So there's nothing that we can grasp onto. But I do. I grasp onto this whole idea of who I am and all my life story and that defines who I am. Report an error in the passage at 27:38 Highlight the passage at 27:38

27:52 But it's also the cause of all the fact that I keep on existing because at the moment I have to cling so strongly to that because that gives me a sense of purpose, it gives me a sense of everything and it kind of fills me up with importance. Report an error in the passage at 27:52 Highlight the passage at 27:52

28:11 I'm this wonderful person who's doing all these wonderful things. I'm carrying on my life in all these wonderful ways. And at the time of death, of course, it all dissolves away. Report an error in the passage at 28:11 Highlight the passage at 28:11

28:23 But then what are you left with? Well, you're left with this habit of having to have an identity. So the next thing you know, you start going off in search of a new identity. And then you come back into life. Into another life. Because you just can't... Let go of the fact that you have, you know, you could actually, you know. I mean, I'm simplifying here, but I think you can kind of get the point. Report an error in the passage at 28:23 Highlight the passage at 28:23

28:54 And this class isn't actually on emptiness, but I'm bringing the two together. Report an error in the passage at 28:54 Highlight the passage at 28:54

29:03 So, it is this grasping of self-existence. It is a self-cherishing. This ego. I mean, we use a lot of different terms, a lot of different things to describe it. And so Buddhism is kind of saying, it's not so real as you pretend it to be. It's not so real as you are, you know, so you have to take it apart. But we also have this aspect of loving kindness and compassion and things like that. Report an error in the passage at 29:03 Highlight the passage at 29:03

29:37 And one of the things that I think that's helpful here is like, do you know... When you have that experience of totally giving of yourself, you're in service, you're just so engaged in an action in the moment that you lose the sense of self. Report an error in the passage at 29:37 Highlight the passage at 29:37

30:10 And it's as if you're passing through, you know, that there's no silence. Report an error in the passage at 30:10 Highlight the passage at 30:10

30:22 And I think, to me, part of the point here in developing a strong sense of... Bodhicitta, loving kindness and compassion. It's because it really is an effective tool of Report an error in the passage at 30:22 Highlight the passage at 30:22

30:42 eradicating the source. And so it's a very, you know, when they have it, especially in the Tibetan tradition, and especially in the Galupa, where it's easily laid out, kind of like, do this, and do this, and do this, and do this, and do this, you know. And so they get there. But you need one. You need both of them. You need the wisdom side and the compassion side. Okay, so now let's talk about love and compassion. We have these terms and they're going to come up in the next few weeks. Report an error in the passage at 30:42 Highlight the passage at 30:42

31:23 We have loving kindness, we have love, and we have compassion. Does anyone want to give a venture as to how we're going to use those terms and Report an error in the passage at 31:23 Highlight the passage at 31:23

31:42 how they're distinct from each other? Report an error in the passage at 31:42 Highlight the passage at 31:42

31:46 What does loving kindness mean to you? Report an error in the passage at 31:46 Highlight the passage at 31:46

31:57 lines of what we've talked about at Report an error in the passage at 31:57 Highlight the passage at 31:57

32:01 That's an easy answer. How about love? What does love mean to you? From a Buddhist perspective. What do you think love means? Caring. What? Just caring. Not the same love as what we normally use. Report an error in the passage at 32:01 Highlight the passage at 32:01

32:24 Unconditional. Report an error in the passage at 32:24 Highlight the passage at 32:24

32:31 That's it. The Report an error in the passage at 32:31 Highlight the passage at 32:31

32:38 wish for others to be happy. Report an error in the passage at 32:38 Highlight the passage at 32:38

32:43 Now there's happiness. Now compassion is easy now. What is compassion? Report an error in the passage at 32:43 Highlight the passage at 32:43

33:01 Compassion. Wanting others not to suffer. Yes. Not wanting others. Wishing for others to be free of suffering. Report an error in the passage at 33:01 Highlight the passage at 33:01

33:14 Loving kindness we're using is holding others dear. Report an error in the passage at 33:14 Highlight the passage at 33:14

33:23 This will be one of the steps we get to in devaluing go to each other. So that will be a little bit more clear as we go. But as you notice, even in the first prayer that we did, Report an error in the passage at 33:23 Highlight the passage at 33:23

33:37 or second prayer, the four immeasurables. May all sentent beings have happiness and causes of happiness. May all sentent beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. Report an error in the passage at 33:37 Highlight the passage at 33:37

33:56 It's right there. Report an error in the passage at 33:56 Highlight the passage at 33:56

34:02 May all sentent beings be inseparable from happiness that is free from suffering. That is basically may they be enlightened, totally blissed out. May all sentent beings abide in equanimity, free from attachment for friends and hatred for enemies. That's the one we're going to work on tonight. But we'll get to that after the introduction. Report an error in the passage at 34:02 Highlight the passage at 34:02

34:23 Okay? Report an error in the passage at 34:23 Highlight the passage at 34:23

34:27 This is a very, very simple prayer, and if you took this one with you every day, it would make a big difference in your life. Everyone, just imagine a world out there where everyone was just kind of remembering this prayer as they went through their daily activity. Report an error in the passage at 34:27 Highlight the passage at 34:27

34:46 It would be amazing, wouldn't it? Report an error in the passage at 34:46 Highlight the passage at 34:46

35:07 It is kind of a good question. His Holiness often says to be, how is he saved? To be wisely selfish. He says, Report an error in the passage at 35:07 Highlight the passage at 35:07

35:25 cherishing others is the source of your own happiness. So, simply by cherishing others, you will have happiness. And I really, truly believe in my own limited experience. Report an error in the passage at 35:25 Highlight the passage at 35:25

35:52 I don't think we actually, you know, at a certain point you don't even have to worry about your own happiness anymore. It's just kind of a given. Report an error in the passage at 35:52 Highlight the passage at 35:52

36:04 hope you start putting stuff in the back. But having said that, of course, we do come from a culture with lots of issues around self-esteem and lots of denigration, lots of fear, all kinds of stuff that are kind of Report an error in the passage at 36:04 Highlight the passage at 36:04

36:30 culturally present and kind of slowly seep into our own way of seeing the world. So, it's important to kind of, you know, check in on that stuff as well. But I think when you start, I think at a certain point when you start practicing, the happiness comes naturally. Report an error in the passage at 36:30 Highlight the passage at 36:30

36:56 I mean, you look at the Tibetans, and there's no question about them, and cherishing others, and serving, and it just comes very, very naturally. And they're very happy people, you know. But I do understand what you're saying about, you know, in some of the exercises, we do, do include ourselves those exercises we do need, you know, there are times when we're suffering we need to bring ourselves to happiness and things like that. Report an error in the passage at 36:56 Highlight the passage at 36:56

37:28 So, when it's not completely... I think there's also a tendency because sometimes to think that by cherishing others we're meant to be. A doormat where other people walk all over us, which is another thing that probably could come up in discussion in this class. And we'll take some time with that one, but no, it doesn't mean that. Report an error in the passage at 37:28 Highlight the passage at 37:28

38:03 It means using wisdom. And it comes with practice, both of them. And of course, you know, we have to be where we're at with the capacity we're at. Report an error in the passage at 38:03 Highlight the passage at 38:03

38:28 moving forward slowly, slowly. So, you know, it's important when a teacher can be important because they can help you in point. Report an error in the passage at 38:28 Highlight the passage at 38:28

38:48 It doesn't mean you don't love yourself, that's for sure. It doesn't mean. But, Report an error in the passage at 38:48 Highlight the passage at 38:48

38:56 you know, mostly, you know, I think one of the things in our culture too, I mean, love tends to be mixed with a lot of attachment. Report an error in the passage at 38:56 Highlight the passage at 38:56

39:06 Because if you, and this is one of the easy ways for me. To really distinguish between love and attachment is what's the motivation in my mind. The motivation is for the other one to be happy, Report an error in the passage at 39:06 Highlight the passage at 39:06

39:27 clear. I might not have wisdom in what I'm doing, but I might at least it's clear that in my mind it's love. If there's some mix of me being happy in there, meaning am I making them happy they will like me, then there's attachment. Report an error in the passage at 39:27 Highlight the passage at 39:27

39:49 It's clearly just wishing them to be happy. Even if they're with someone else that I'd rather live with me. Report an error in the passage at 39:49 Highlight the passage at 39:49

40:03 So we have to kind of stretch ourselves with these things for sure. Report an error in the passage at 40:03 Highlight the passage at 40:03

40:15 So we talked a little bit about self-grasping and selflessness already as I came up. This Report an error in the passage at 40:15 Highlight the passage at 40:15

40:30 bodhicitta and this development of cultivation, what I call cultivation of bodhicitta, becomes almost the most important aspect. of practice. Report an error in the passage at 40:30 Highlight the passage at 40:30

40:46 The wisdom aspect is there as well, Report an error in the passage at 40:46 Highlight the passage at 40:46

40:52 but this is also very, very important. We cannot do it just on the wisdom aspect at all. Okay? Report an error in the passage at 40:52 Highlight the passage at 40:52

41:06 And I think generally, Report an error in the passage at 41:06 Highlight the passage at 41:06

41:11 especially as beginners and people kind of dealing with everyday Report an error in the passage at 41:11 Highlight the passage at 41:11

41:19 experiences and circumstances that were kind of, you know, cultural background, I think it's a good place to start with the photo. I think it's also somewhat familiar from our Judeo-Christian background because certainly there's nothing, I mean it's definitely that loving kindness and compassion are also emphasized in those traditions as well, in service and by that view, the view on emptiness is different. So a lot of it is He knows to use these tools and these techniques to transform our minds, to transform our habits, our habits of attachment, grasping and self-cherishing into cherishing others, wishing others to be happy, wishing others to be free of suffering. Report an error in the passage at 41:19 Highlight the passage at 41:19

42:32 And this is not only with our speech, not only with our actions of body, but also with our mind. Report an error in the passage at 42:32 Highlight the passage at 42:32

43:10 okay and people are expanding and concepts. Report an error in the passage at 43:10 Highlight the passage at 43:10

43:24 all of actions. You can see Report an error in the passage at 43:24 Highlight the passage at 43:24

43:40 different examples of this when you see two people who have very similar, shall we say, problems, or being sick or something like that. You have completely different attitudes. One mind is very happy and the other one is very miserable. You know, why is that? Report an error in the passage at 43:40 Highlight the passage at 43:40

44:10 The work that we do. And it's not easy. It often starts with just words. For many of us, in practice in Buddhism, we say these prayers every day. Report an error in the passage at 44:10 Highlight the passage at 44:10

44:27 For the benefit of all center beings, for the benefit of all center beings, for the benefit of all center beings, for the benefit of all center beings. Sometimes it appears that they're just words, but there's a subtle way in which they work as well, because we have a habit of thinking. Most of the time, what's going on in the subtle level is me, me, me, me, me, you know. And so we're just trying to counteract that. Report an error in the passage at 44:27 Highlight the passage at 44:27

44:55 And by reminding yourself, even if it's not so appropriate at that particular moment, when something arises, it's kind of very close to the surface. And so you can take a different action. to have a different thought arise. And that's the point. Because all of our experience is just nothing more than a series of these habits. Report an error in the passage at 44:55 Highlight the passage at 44:55

45:29 It is Report an error in the passage at 45:29 Highlight the passage at 45:29

45:33 said Report an error in the passage at 45:33 Highlight the passage at 45:33

45:55 that you don't even enter the Mayana path. certain things based on how we see certain things. Report an error in the passage at 45:55 Highlight the passage at 45:55

45:59 Until you have actualized bodhicitta. You Report an error in the passage at 45:59 Highlight the passage at 45:59

46:08 mean actualized, meaning it rises spontaneously. When you think of arising spontaneously, think about when you get hungry and the thought of food just arises spontaneously without having to think about it. Report an error in the passage at 46:08 Highlight the passage at 46:08

46:26 Imagine bodhicitta rising spontaneously without even having to think about it. It's Report an error in the passage at 46:26 Highlight the passage at 46:26

46:36 nice, isn't it? Okay. Report an error in the passage at 46:36 Highlight the passage at 46:36

46:56 Any questions? Report an error in the passage at 46:56 Highlight the passage at 46:56

47:00 Should we talk about homework? How busy are people's lives? Report an error in the passage at 47:00 Highlight the passage at 47:00

47:10 People want to keep a journal? Report an error in the passage at 47:10 Highlight the passage at 47:10

47:15 Keep a journal okay? Report an error in the passage at 47:15 Highlight the passage at 47:15

47:20 I'm trying to stop writing. Report an error in the passage at 47:20 Highlight the passage at 47:20

47:25 I'll keep a journal again. I'll try to make it simple. We'll try to just maybe sometimes make a quick note and we'll just do some tick marks or something. Report an error in the passage at 47:25 Highlight the passage at 47:25

47:41 But does everyone have something they can carry around with you? Or maybe the other thing is that we'll just kind of make you do like five minutes. How many people like to sit at cafes? Report an error in the passage at 47:41 Highlight the passage at 47:41

47:58 Yes? How would you like an assignment to go sit at a cafe for a half hour every day? Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 47:58 Highlight the passage at 47:58

48:07 Well, Report an error in the passage at 48:07 Highlight the passage at 48:07

48:12 when I have a mind, it'll be easy when you'll like it because you can sit at a cafe. Okay. Report an error in the passage at 48:12 Highlight the passage at 48:12

48:24 I don't really want to get... that was so nice. Report an error in the passage at 48:24 Highlight the passage at 48:24

48:27 I can actually introduce this and then we can work on it in the second half. Report an error in the passage at 48:27 Highlight the passage at 48:27

48:35 Equanimity. Report an error in the passage at 48:35 Highlight the passage at 48:35

48:40 In order to develop and cultivate bodhicitta, we have to clear the playing field. We have to develop equanimity. Report an error in the passage at 48:40 Highlight the passage at 48:40

48:57 This is not easy. Not easy at all. What do we mean by equanimity? When Report an error in the passage at 48:57 Highlight the passage at 48:57

49:11 we talk about all mother, sons and beings, we're Report an error in the passage at 49:11 Highlight the passage at 49:11

49:19 not just talking about the ones we like. We're also talking about... The ones we don't like. We're also talking about the ones who are strangers, who don't know. Report an error in the passage at 49:19 Highlight the passage at 49:19

49:37 So when I say, for the benefit of all sensitive beings, I'm going to get enlightened for the benefit of all sensitive beings. It seems like a tall order. Report an error in the passage at 49:37 Highlight the passage at 49:37

49:50 And I'm doing this for the benefit of all sensitive beings. Whatever I'm doing, Report an error in the passage at 49:50 Highlight the passage at 49:50

49:59 I need to develop some equanimity. Because I can't be just doing it for you, or them. I have to be doing it for everyone. And right now, my mind naturally says, oh, I kind of like him more than her. Report an error in the passage at 49:59 Highlight the passage at 49:59

50:22 You know, Report an error in the passage at 50:22 Highlight the passage at 50:22

50:35 not that habit. Just look around the room, for example. Look at each other once. Report an error in the passage at 50:35 Highlight the passage at 50:35

50:49 I bet you there's a couple here that maybe you wouldn't talk to outside of class if you weren't in the same room. And if you hadn't been in the same class, you probably had a projection of who they were and what kind of life they lived and all this kind of stuff, right? Report an error in the passage at 50:49 Highlight the passage at 50:49

51:09 And look at the clothes you're wearing. You know, there's a lot to be said there, right? Some, yeah, some of them. So we either like or dislike. And look at some of your bodies. Some of you are in shape and some of you aren't like that, you know? Some of you are old, some of you are young. Just think of all the things that we distinguish each other with. And on the basis of that, what happens? Report an error in the passage at 51:09 Highlight the passage at 51:09

51:50 We like, we dislike, or we don't care. Those are the only three choices. And it's not just other people. It's also animals. It's also food. Report an error in the passage at 51:50 Highlight the passage at 51:50

52:11 It's a big one. Taller. Taller. But it can shift. It can definitely shift. I think it's a tall order to think that you're ever going to get it all in this lifetime. You can definitely shift it. Report an error in the passage at 52:11 Highlight the passage at 52:11

52:31 So, Report an error in the passage at 52:31 Highlight the passage at 52:31

52:35 one of the things, real things to remember is that we're all sitting here in the same room and that person seems a little bit more appealing than the next person. Report an error in the passage at 52:35 Highlight the passage at 52:35

52:49 There's something that makes us all equal. Anyone got a guess on what that might be? Exactly. Report an error in the passage at 52:49 Highlight the passage at 52:49

53:06 All want to be happy. The whole point. The whole point of you even coming to class. Report an error in the passage at 53:06 Highlight the passage at 53:06

53:15 The whole point of you eating, whatever food you're eating, going to whatever movie you're going to, dating whatever person you're dating, buying whatever house you're buying, whatever car you're driving, whatever child you can, it's all to be happy. Report an error in the passage at 53:15 Highlight the passage at 53:15

53:31 It's all to be happy. Moment by moment, whatever we do is to be happy, not to suffer. And there's not one difference in this room amongst all of us in that wish to be happy. I Report an error in the passage at 53:31 Highlight the passage at 53:31

54:10 think we can... Pause there. I guess we can give you a break. Is there, I guess the cafe is, what is it? It's open or closed? Closed. So people can take a five minute, ten minute break. If you want some water, we can get water and take a restroom and go to the bathroom. Report an error in the passage at 54:10 Highlight the passage at 54:10

54:36 And I don't know if they paused this thing. Report an error in the passage at 54:36 Highlight the passage at 54:36

55:05 Equanimity. We're going to spend some time in the second half of this class here today working on equanimity. I Report an error in the passage at 55:05 Highlight the passage at 55:05

55:24 think the important part really is to start to understand is how within our own mind we are shaping our reality. Report an error in the passage at 55:24 Highlight the passage at 55:24

55:46 And that comes from habits, from karmic, karmic previous moments of mind. From the way we responded to things previously, meaning that if something bothered us and then it comes again, then it will bother us again. If it was a painful experience in the past, something similar could create a painful experience in the present, things like that. Report an error in the passage at 55:46 Highlight the passage at 55:46

56:18 So how do we look at this? One way to understand this is just by looking Report an error in the passage at 56:18 Highlight the passage at 56:18

56:33 at me. Report an error in the passage at 56:33 Highlight the passage at 56:33

56:38 I'm a monk. Sitting here. And although I Report an error in the passage at 56:38 Highlight the passage at 56:38

56:51 appear similar to all of you, there are actually 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 different experiences of Lama in front of you. Report an error in the passage at 56:51 Highlight the passage at 56:51

57:11 How you relate to me is based very much not just on me sitting here in front of you in these robes. But also your own story. Report an error in the passage at 57:11 Highlight the passage at 57:11

57:35 And that comes from your own habits, from your own previous stories. For some, the monastic has a lot of stuff that comes with that. Good or bad. Report an error in the passage at 57:35 Highlight the passage at 57:35

58:00 Very heavy stuff, you know. So many of you, I mean all of you, have different stories. We have something that's kind of similar, meaning you're kind of seeing this almost... Nobody sitting here, you know, in front of you, but wearing these robes. So there's a somewhat shared experience, but at the same time, there's your story. Report an error in the passage at 58:00 Highlight the passage at 58:00

58:35 Your story. And for some of you who've known me in the past, or have known me for a while, it could be either good or bad based on the different experiences you've had with me. But you carry them into the room, into your projection now, that you experience in me. If you've had a good experience, that's how you're seeing me in that way. Report an error in the passage at 58:35 Highlight the passage at 58:35

59:01 If you've had not so good experiences, you're going to see me in that way. This is really, really important to notice. Report an error in the passage at 59:01 Highlight the passage at 59:01

59:13 Because normally, Report an error in the passage at 59:13 Highlight the passage at 59:13

59:19 when we're looking at this person out there, now referring to Monlom, this particular Monlom, we're actually... Thinking that that's the way they exist with all these qualities and we don't see our part of it at all. Report an error in the passage at 59:19 Highlight the passage at 59:19

59:44 And Buddhism would say that's not the way they exist. Report an error in the passage at 59:44 Highlight the passage at 59:44

59:50 So what we're going to do now is we're going to apply this, Report an error in the passage at 59:50 Highlight the passage at 59:50

59:58 developing equanimity. The meditation is called friend, enemy, stranger. Report an error in the passage at 59:58 Highlight the passage at 59:58

1:00:10 Rather simple, but it's something... Well, we'll talk about it afterwards actually. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:10 Highlight the passage at 1:00:10

1:00:27 I'm going to guide you through this meditation. We're going to take time, pause and reflect and contemplate on what I'm saying based on your own individual experiences. This is all about bringing your experiences into your practice. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:27 Highlight the passage at 1:00:27

1:00:53 We're going to identify three different individuals. We're going to keep these three same people. And this is for the entire meditation. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:53 Highlight the passage at 1:00:53

1:01:19 Let's start with person number one. Door number one. This is our friend. Think of someone you like. Someone who makes you happy, Report an error in the passage at 1:01:19 Highlight the passage at 1:01:19

1:01:37 brings you joy, or is important in your life. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:37 Highlight the passage at 1:01:37

1:01:46 Picture them clearly. Perhaps reflecting on some actual experiences of you being together, Report an error in the passage at 1:01:46 Highlight the passage at 1:01:46

1:02:00 laughing, having fun, enjoying. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:00 Highlight the passage at 1:02:00

1:02:05 Notice the feelings that arise when you think of this person, Report an error in the passage at 1:02:05 Highlight the passage at 1:02:05

1:02:12 how they make you happy, Report an error in the passage at 1:02:12 Highlight the passage at 1:02:12

1:02:18 that lightness, that Report an error in the passage at 1:02:18 Highlight the passage at 1:02:18

1:02:23 kind of joy and lightness. Notice that feeling. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:23 Highlight the passage at 1:02:23

1:02:37 Soak yourself in these experiences. Add Report an error in the passage at 1:02:37 Highlight the passage at 1:02:37

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:03:22 together what's Report an error in the passage at 1:03:22 Highlight the passage at 1:03:22

1:03:27 your feelings, how they make you happy, just even by thinking of them. Let's Report an error in the passage at 1:03:27 Highlight the passage at 1:03:27

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:04:09 go to door number two. This one's not as pleasant. This is someone you dislike. Who annoys you, irritates you, just drives you crazy, makes you angry, hurts you, whatever. The experience of this person is just really not so good. They don't make you happy. Maybe they even make you something. They really just picture Report an error in the passage at 1:04:09 Highlight the passage at 1:04:09

1:04:39 them clearly, know who it is, Report an error in the passage at 1:04:39 Highlight the passage at 1:04:39

1:04:47 know that they don't make you happy. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:47 Highlight the passage at 1:04:47

1:04:59 If it's not too painful, think of a couple of experiences. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:59 Highlight the passage at 1:04:59

1:05:05 That's what arises, your feelings that arise when you think of this person. A little bit more heavy, tight, those Report an error in the passage at 1:05:05 Highlight the passage at 1:05:05

1:05:20 feelings. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:20 Highlight the passage at 1:05:20

1:05:47 Perhaps they betrayed you. Perhaps they hurt you. Maybe they hurt others. What's Report an error in the passage at 1:05:47 Highlight the passage at 1:05:47

1:06:02 your thoughts? How they don't make you happy? Report an error in the passage at 1:06:02 Highlight the passage at 1:06:02

1:06:08 Your feelings. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:08 Highlight the passage at 1:06:08

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:07:13 Pick up someone, maybe a neighbor or someone who's somewhat distant, who neither liked them or disliked them. Rather indifferent, Report an error in the passage at 1:07:13 Highlight the passage at 1:07:13

1:07:31 got to know them. They're there. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:31 Highlight the passage at 1:07:31

1:07:40 you happy, but they don't upset you either. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:40 Highlight the passage at 1:07:40

1:07:46 took out someone's face. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:46 Highlight the passage at 1:07:46

1:08:11 kind of a difference. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:11 Highlight the passage at 1:08:11

1:08:15 too tight, that's who it is. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:15 Highlight the passage at 1:08:15

1:08:23 make you happy. They don't upset you. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:23 Highlight the passage at 1:08:23

1:08:39 interested in getting to Melbourne. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:39 Highlight the passage at 1:08:39

1:08:54 These Report an error in the passage at 1:08:54 Highlight the passage at 1:08:54

1:09:19 three individuals that you've chosen, Report an error in the passage at 1:09:19 Highlight the passage at 1:09:19

1:09:24 the way you see them, this image you have, That you so much believe that the way they exist is all about you. What they do for you. If they make you happy, they're your friend. If they don't, they're your enemy. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:24 Highlight the passage at 1:09:24

1:09:57 If you don't really care, they're just another person, another stranger. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:57 Highlight the passage at 1:09:57

1:10:06 Although appearing to exist that way, separate from you, apart from you. They appear to be stranger, appear to be enemy, appear to be friend, having nothing to do with you. But this isn't true. There's everything to do with you. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:06 Highlight the passage at 1:10:06

1:10:32 Because they make you happy. They annoy you, irritate you, upset you. Or they just are not part of your life. So the way you see these people, it's very much about you. It's not a very valid way. It's not real. It's not the way they truly exist. Not the way they exist at all. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:32 Highlight the passage at 1:10:32

1:11:19 And then we got this other element to it, which is the momentary change. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:19 Highlight the passage at 1:11:19

1:11:30 If this friend of yours, which you so clearly identified as someone you like, was truly friend, truly existent in this way, then they would always exist in the same way. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:30 Highlight the passage at 1:11:30

1:11:52 No way! At one point you didn't even know them. They had to be a stranger. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:52 Highlight the passage at 1:11:52

1:12:06 And most likely, in the future, they may be a stranger again. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:06 Highlight the passage at 1:12:06

1:12:15 These relationships, which seem so solid, seem so real, and didn't want all of our projections on them, they're changing. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:15 Highlight the passage at 1:12:15

1:12:27 And often, this enemy, was once a friend. Think about it. Friend Report an error in the passage at 1:12:27 Highlight the passage at 1:12:27

1:12:46 becomes stranger, stranger becomes friend, friend becomes enemy, enemy becomes friend. Doesn't take much, does it? Report an error in the passage at 1:12:46 Highlight the passage at 1:12:46

1:13:00 Imagine that stranger, the person you picked, but you don't know much about them. Imagine some kind of event, perhaps at a cafe, and all of a sudden you sit down and talk to them, and you realize you share some common interest. Perhaps it's the love of a dog or a cat or a movie or whatever, and you actually sit down and talk to them, and you find out, hey, they're not so bad, maybe. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:00 Highlight the passage at 1:13:00

1:13:40 It could be friends. And notice how your feelings for this person would shift. You have something in common. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:40 Highlight the passage at 1:13:40

1:13:58 Now imagine on the other hand, Report an error in the passage at 1:13:58 Highlight the passage at 1:13:58

1:14:06 you're both trying to get out of the parking lot at the same time. And this person cuts you off. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:06 Highlight the passage at 1:14:06

1:14:16 Now how do you feel about this? They're Report an error in the passage at 1:14:16 Highlight the passage at 1:14:16

1:14:33 saying, huh? It's not so stable. All these things that we truly believe exist that way in and of themselves, out there, separate from us. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:33 Highlight the passage at 1:14:33

1:14:51 Sorry. This friend, this enemy, this stranger. There's nothing more than the way I'm painting the picture. I'm the one that's painting the picture. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:51 Highlight the passage at 1:14:51

1:15:12 Granted, there's another being out there that has everything to do with our way I'm seeing it. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:12 Highlight the passage at 1:15:12

1:15:22 And it's not stable. It's changing from moment to moment. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:22 Highlight the passage at 1:15:22

1:15:30 So, it doesn't make a lot of sense to hang on to it, does it? Report an error in the passage at 1:15:30 Highlight the passage at 1:15:30

1:15:42 As if that's the way they truly exist. Let's Report an error in the passage at 1:15:42 Highlight the passage at 1:15:42

1:16:05 go back to those three people. in front of us. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:05 Highlight the passage at 1:16:05

1:16:20 moment by moment Report an error in the passage at 1:16:20 Highlight the passage at 1:16:20

1:16:25 Wanting to be happy. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:25 Highlight the passage at 1:16:25

1:16:34 one of them, exactly the same, not wanting to suffer. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:34 Highlight the passage at 1:16:34

1:16:55 Wanting to be happy, moment by moment, not wanting to suffer. Get the Report an error in the passage at 1:16:55 Highlight the passage at 1:16:55

· · · silence, 2 minutes

1:18:55 point? Report an error in the passage at 1:18:55 Highlight the passage at 1:18:55

1:19:01 Yeah, I think it's not so difficult to understand. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:01 Highlight the passage at 1:19:01

1:19:18 step changing. It's come away. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:18 Highlight the passage at 1:19:18

1:19:26 the dish is the way it operates. this is what's happening in the moment. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:26 Highlight the passage at 1:19:26

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:20:05 McCain has a mother, even George Bush. Everyone has someone who loves them. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:05 Highlight the passage at 1:20:05

1:20:14 if they existed that way, then everyone would I Report an error in the passage at 1:20:14 Highlight the passage at 1:20:14

1:20:22 think the important part is just to see our role in how this happens. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:22 Highlight the passage at 1:20:22

1:20:33 And it's so conditioned. And it's reinforced so much. Madison Avenue does a great job of telling us what we like. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:33 Highlight the passage at 1:20:33

1:20:55 It's good. And all those maybe things about the stars and this and that, you know. It's always this, you know, it's always this image we have. In Report an error in the passage at 1:20:55 Highlight the passage at 1:20:55

1:21:14 our relationships with people, someone hurts us. Someone is kind to us. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:14 Highlight the passage at 1:21:14

1:21:28 But constantly, you know, because if you think about it, you know, I mean, think of how many people you actually come into contact with on a daily basis living in San Francisco. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:28 Highlight the passage at 1:21:28

1:21:47 It's amazing, huh? Report an error in the passage at 1:21:47 Highlight the passage at 1:21:47

1:21:51 Now imagine trying to feel equanimous to all of them, Report an error in the passage at 1:21:51 Highlight the passage at 1:21:51

1:22:02 remembering that they all want to be happy. Good Report an error in the passage at 1:22:02 Highlight the passage at 1:22:02

1:22:09 job. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:09 Highlight the passage at 1:22:09

1:22:14 Now I haven't even started about the fact that they've all been your mothers, but we'll get to that next week. But... Report an error in the passage at 1:22:14 Highlight the passage at 1:22:14

1:22:24 This is something, you know, I mean, it's really, really valuable because it's a start. Just to become aware, because then you remember that you are the one who's made up the story. And if you're the one who's made up the story, you can also change. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:24 Highlight the passage at 1:22:24

1:22:49 One of the, I mean, I like hanging out, I used to like hanging out at cafes, you know, I like to hang out and people watch. It's one of my favorite things to do, is to watch. And imagine all these life stories, not that I'm necessarily accurate, Report an error in the passage at 1:22:49 Highlight the passage at 1:22:49

1:23:10 but writing meaning and noticing how quickly, you know, this habit arises. And basically, there are three options. You like, you dislike, or you don't care. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:10 Highlight the passage at 1:23:10

1:23:36 Everyone you come in contact with all day long fits into one of those categories. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:36 Highlight the passage at 1:23:36

1:23:47 We're just talking about people now. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:47 Highlight the passage at 1:23:47

1:23:53 And if we start to think about it, you know, I mean, I notice myself, it's like, Report an error in the passage at 1:23:53 Highlight the passage at 1:23:53

1:24:04 how old they are, how Report an error in the passage at 1:24:04 Highlight the passage at 1:24:04

1:24:14 old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how old they are, how Report an error in the passage at 1:24:14 Highlight the passage at 1:24:14

1:24:40 old they Report an error in the passage at 1:24:40 Highlight the passage at 1:24:40

1:24:49 So changing that is not easy. Even years later, it doesn't happen overnight. But you can see a shift. Believe me, you see a shift. You stop. You don't believe in it as much anymore. You notice it, but you don't believe in it so much. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:49 Highlight the passage at 1:24:49

1:25:20 You notice that Report an error in the passage at 1:25:20 Highlight the passage at 1:25:20

1:25:24 creating some story around this person because of this or that, but Report an error in the passage at 1:25:24 Highlight the passage at 1:25:24

1:25:35 you don't hold on to it in the same way. It doesn't have the same... Report an error in the passage at 1:25:35 Highlight the passage at 1:25:35

1:25:44 The solidness that it once had. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:44 Highlight the passage at 1:25:44

1:25:53 It might be a little bit disturbing to some, especially if you're feeling totally in love with someone and they walk on water. If you notice that it's all about your own projections, then it might be a little bit disturbing at the beginning. But you can't deny, can you? It's really about you and everything you're projecting. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:53 Highlight the passage at 1:25:53

1:26:22 Their element out there, separate from you too, and how they're interacting with you, of course. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:22 Highlight the passage at 1:26:22

1:26:32 Am I getting it? looks on your faces, you're definitely thinking about it. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:32 Highlight the passage at 1:26:32

1:26:57 The one thing I notice when I do this meditation is that I find it, I have more or less ambivalent feelings about there's Report an error in the passage at 1:26:57 Highlight the passage at 1:26:57

1:27:21 nobody who I feel just total love for and very few people who I feel really strong dislike for. it just Sometimes it's hard for me to get that thinking of them as being totally opposite. That's good. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:21 Highlight the passage at 1:27:21

1:27:49 Some people also use all three, the same person for all three. And I can see that as well. I mean, I can think of a very good friend who has, you know, at times real aversion arises in different circumstances. And then in times when I feel that they're complete strangers, I don't know this person. So, you know, it's just this momentary thing with different, you know, three different aspects of the same person. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:49 Highlight the passage at 1:27:49

1:28:19 So, I think when you, because in some ways, when you make some progress, you will, the defining lines of being so dramatically out here, meaning intense aversion arises, and this intense, you know, kind of attachment arises, those... Those won't be so dramatic. That will shift. It's still, I mean, it's still a stretch, of course, just to think of, to remind yourself that everyone wants to be happy. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:19 Highlight the passage at 1:28:19

1:28:59 And you need maybe to keep working on it because that's important too. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:59 Highlight the passage at 1:28:59

1:29:11 The exercise I'm going to give you for the week, which is to kind of keep a journal, is to kind of pay attention. Because I think the other aspect of this is, for me, that's really, really key, and I think from my own experience, is to make it part of my experience, is to really clearly, when I'm on the bus, when I'm people watching, is to watch my mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:11 Highlight the passage at 1:29:11

1:29:46 And watch how quickly, just as soon as a phase comes, how... How does my mind react to it? It either likes or dislikes or it doesn't care. And if you start to notice that, Report an error in the passage at 1:29:46 Highlight the passage at 1:29:46

1:30:13 and it's going to be different for each one of us, I mean, based on our own cultural upbringing, you know, for some, you know, I mean, Report an error in the passage at 1:30:13 Highlight the passage at 1:30:13

1:30:24 it's based on what TV we watch, what TV shows we watch. I think of Abu Khabib and Fitch, for example, those big poster boys they have out in front, you know, I mean. We come to identify in a certain way. And so when someone looks like that, of course we turn our heads. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:24 Highlight the passage at 1:30:24

1:30:48 Or when you're riding the bus and there's some, you know, screaming baby and teenage mother, something else arises. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:48 Highlight the passage at 1:30:48

1:31:04 And the important, really, what you're going to do this week is you're going to watch that. You're just going to note it. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:04 Highlight the passage at 1:31:04

1:31:13 I'm just going to make notes of when it happens and what kind of thing has happened. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:13 Highlight the passage at 1:31:13

1:31:26 Because what you're trying to do really here is to understand your role, your role in this process. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:26 Highlight the passage at 1:31:26

1:31:43 Because I don't think you can develop equanimity without acknowledging that. You Report an error in the passage at 1:31:43 Highlight the passage at 1:31:43

1:31:53 have to acknowledge your role. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:53 Highlight the passage at 1:31:53

1:31:58 It happens so quickly. I mean, you know, don't think that anyone's better at you than you at doing this part. Because we're doing it all the time. And it really, really comes very subtly with cultural conditioning. It has to do with the way we were raised with our parents, where we were born. All kinds of aspects really play into this. So don't think it also changes overnight. All I'm asking you to do at this point is to notice it, acknowledge it. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:58 Highlight the passage at 1:31:58

1:32:40 Because then when these myriad of images are reinforced over time, you know, what you see on the internet or, you know, about elderly or whatever, you can kind of see them for what they are and not buy into them so quickly. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:40 Highlight the passage at 1:32:40

1:33:01 Karma, your appearances are nothing more than all these habits coming in. Moment by moment we have all these inputs. This is the way you come to experience that person in front of you. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:01 Highlight the passage at 1:33:01

1:33:17 Yeah, they say it's karma. But it's also, I mean, it's your, all those previous moments, because of these previous moments of reinforcing that view that this person, because of the color of their skin or because of their age or their body mass index or whatever you want, comes across as something I like or dislike. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:17 Highlight the passage at 1:33:17

1:33:47 So, okay. On your way to work, at lunch or while out, at a cafe. Check up on how you relate to someone, a stranger, who you do not feel comfortable about, do not like, have aversion towards. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:47 Highlight the passage at 1:33:47

1:34:07 Describe what it is that bothers you about them. Is it what they're wearing, their age, the color of their skin, what they're doing? Report an error in the passage at 1:34:07 Highlight the passage at 1:34:07

1:34:20 So just take a Report an error in the passage at 1:34:20 Highlight the passage at 1:34:20

1:34:31 few moments to notice this. And try to do this every day, once a day, if you can. So you have, you know, at least five or six. Report an error in the passage at 1:34:31 Highlight the passage at 1:34:31

1:34:45 Now repeat the same exercise for someone who you are attracted to, who you like, who you feel good about. Describe what it is that makes you feel attracted to them. Report an error in the passage at 1:34:45 Highlight the passage at 1:34:45

1:35:15 did you give us six things to look for? Is that what you said? Did you give us to look for in somebody who you dislike? Well, it can be, is it what they're wearing, their age, the color of their skin, or what they're doing? I mean, you try to decide in that moment. Try to describe when you pick out that person. Yeah, I was just giving examples. Report an error in the passage at 1:35:15 Highlight the passage at 1:35:15

1:35:41 It's kind of trying to describe in that particular, just notice that you picked out this person and something arises in you that's kind of like... I either don't like this person or I'm, you know, some sense of aversion. You don't want to know this person. Something, kind of a negative feeling arises for you. Just by seeing them, just by seeing them, this complete stranger, just by seeing them. Report an error in the passage at 1:35:41 Highlight the passage at 1:35:41

1:36:12 And it can be, you know, maybe it's two people together. You know, it could be a mother-daughter, it could be a couple or whatever. If you need two people, it's okay too. Just notice that, then try to notice what is it that bothers me about them. Is it what they're doing? Is it the way they're looking? And try to reflect on all those different aspects, of course, because you might find that there's a few more things going on. Report an error in the passage at 1:36:12 Highlight the passage at 1:36:12

1:36:47 There's a third part to this, and this is just an easy one to tally. So you're going to spend about five minutes and you're just going to watch the people who go by and you're just going to put a tick mark. Like, dislike, don't care. And you can do this five minutes. Report an error in the passage at 1:36:47 Highlight the passage at 1:36:47

1:37:15 Just watch in a cafe, everyone who comes in the door. Like, dislike, don't care. Report an error in the passage at 1:37:15 Highlight the passage at 1:37:15

1:37:28 That's simple. The other one requires a little bit of writing. Report an error in the passage at 1:37:28 Highlight the passage at 1:37:28

1:37:36 Are we okay with this? Understood? Report an error in the passage at 1:37:36 Highlight the passage at 1:37:36

1:37:50 Exactly ten binders, ten sets of materials. There's actually only Report an error in the passage at 1:37:50 Highlight the passage at 1:37:50

1:38:00 nine binders though. Maybe someone doesn't need a binder. You don't need a binder. Okay. Okay. This is the reading materials that go along with this course. What I would suggest, yeah, yeah, pass them out. Report an error in the passage at 1:38:00 Highlight the passage at 1:38:00

1:38:45 Yeah, you can give the vibe to that. And I have one here, so... Report an error in the passage at 1:38:45 Highlight the passage at 1:38:45

1:38:57 Chad, Report an error in the passage at 1:38:57 Highlight the passage at 1:38:57

1:39:05 no, I have it here. Jackie did it for me. What I would... We have real mice in this house, but I'd never... I would give one of the cat's toys. True. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:05 Highlight the passage at 1:39:05

1:39:23 Just in the interest of reading... take the stuff out, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:23 Highlight the passage at 1:39:23

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:39:19 so true. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:19 Highlight the passage at 1:39:19

1:39:29 Sometimes it's nice to get caught up in the reading, but sometimes it's just nice to take one reading at a time and then just reflect on it and read it more than once, maybe a couple times a week. So what I would suggest is just doing the first reading and Report an error in the passage at 1:39:29 Highlight the passage at 1:39:29

1:39:52 see if you can read it once through, it's not that many pages, and then think about it a little bit and then reread it. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:52 Highlight the passage at 1:39:52

1:40:07 In a few days after that, you know, like four or five days later, again. So read it twice at least, but give it some space in between. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:07 Highlight the passage at 1:40:07

1:40:19 Try to reflect upon what it might be meaning in it. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:19 Highlight the passage at 1:40:19

1:40:27 Okay. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:27 Highlight the passage at 1:40:27

1:40:33 Chad, Elisa, Stephanie, Jane, Mary, Marianne, Cindy, Robert, Ray, Ray, Charlie. Hi, that's pretty good for me. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:33 Highlight the passage at 1:40:33

1:40:52 Oh yeah, that's my homework. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:52 Highlight the passage at 1:40:52

1:40:59 I guess, and it's funny because I have been teaching in Marin, and so there's a lot of the same students I have in Marin over the years, and so they've gotten quite comfortable, and just so you know, my style of teaching is very, very interactive, so I will require you all to speak out. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:59 Highlight the passage at 1:40:59

1:41:20 I'm being a little bit light on you tonight, I think. Report an error in the passage at 1:41:20 Highlight the passage at 1:41:20

1:41:27 Yeah, no, it's okay. Come with questions. Don't accept what we say without thinking about it. It's really, really important. Report an error in the passage at 1:41:27 Highlight the passage at 1:41:27

1:41:49 And really, really take it to your own experience. Report an error in the passage at 1:41:49 Highlight the passage at 1:41:49

1:41:56 It won't be stable unless you do. It has to relate to your own experience. Report an error in the passage at 1:41:56 Highlight the passage at 1:41:56

1:42:25 of happiness, was asking about. Report an error in the passage at 1:42:25 Highlight the passage at 1:42:25

1:42:31 sometimes get stuck on that because I notice if I haven't been cultivating my Report an error in the passage at 1:42:31 Highlight the passage at 1:42:31

1:42:41 own life, then I get very angry with others or I'm very quick to judge them. So for me, that's a key component. is also maintaining my own. Report an error in the passage at 1:42:41 Highlight the passage at 1:42:41

1:42:57 Okay, I'll say this to that. My own experience, I know that when I don't get enough rest, Report an error in the passage at 1:42:57 Highlight the passage at 1:42:57

1:43:14 too much on my plate, And don't really keep it in my life in balance, that, yes, I tend to take it out of my life like everyone else. So it's important to give myself space. I also know that my biggest enemy are my expectations. Those cause me my most suffering, because I have high expectations. I Report an error in the passage at 1:43:14 Highlight the passage at 1:43:14

1:43:50 should see the world the same way I do, with the same understanding, and they don't. So, having said that, I mean, this is where you learn. In your own situation, what I'm thinking of is, of course, yes, you need to be in a situation as much as possible where you're not feeling miserable to begin with. Report an error in the passage at 1:43:50 Highlight the passage at 1:43:50

1:44:17 So you should be in a situation where you're happy, doing the things you want to be doing, pursuing, things like that. You need to get rest to make sure that... It's not because you're overworked and tired that you're touching and things like that. But I think one of the important things, and I don't want you to lose sight of this, is this importance of understanding how we are painting the picture. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:17 Highlight the passage at 1:44:17

1:44:57 Our happiness is totally interdependent upon how we're painting the picture. So if you see someone and you judge them in a certain way, that actually becomes an experience. If Report an error in the passage at 1:44:57 Highlight the passage at 1:44:57

1:45:21 you learn to recognize it for what it is, as part of painting the picture, then your experience can shift. Report an error in the passage at 1:45:21 Highlight the passage at 1:45:21

1:45:33 It's hard to do when you're tired. It's hard to do when you're not feeling good about yourself. Yes, that's true. Absolutely. But I do think, I mean, it's really, really important to recognize that you're painting that picture. Report an error in the passage at 1:45:33 Highlight the passage at 1:45:33

1:45:48 Because you experience when Report an error in the passage at 1:45:48 Highlight the passage at 1:45:48

1:45:59 you recognize it. Report an error in the passage at 1:45:59 Highlight the passage at 1:45:59

1:46:03 In a Buddhist sense, Report an error in the passage at 1:46:03 Highlight the passage at 1:46:03

1:46:10 all of this is nothing more than a dream. A Report an error in the passage at 1:46:10 Highlight the passage at 1:46:10

1:46:19 drop of dew, a bubble, we use all these kind of different metaphors. Report an error in the passage at 1:46:19 Highlight the passage at 1:46:19

1:46:31 You can become so much more that Report an error in the passage at 1:46:31 Highlight the passage at 1:46:31

1:46:40 has such potential to prompt every cause of happiness. Report an error in the passage at 1:46:40 Highlight the passage at 1:46:40

1:46:48 Absolutely, completely cause happiness. But it is dependent upon you. Report an error in the passage at 1:46:48 Highlight the passage at 1:46:48

1:46:57 To help paint that picture. And that is one of the steps is to understand that you're painting that picture when Report an error in the passage at 1:46:57 Highlight the passage at 1:46:57

1:47:08 you are judging. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:08 Highlight the passage at 1:47:08

1:47:13 Understand. You know, the habit's not going to change overnight. Believe me. And sometimes you have to go through very, very difficult and painful situations to experience the most growth. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:13 Highlight the passage at 1:47:13

1:47:30 The tendency for most of us, and this is so much. Part of our culture, the tendency for most of us is to see that that is the way it exists out there and that is out there is the cause of my problems. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:30 Highlight the passage at 1:47:30

1:47:57 And whenever we have an accident or something bad happens, we point out there and we sue. Or we send them to jail and prison for the rest of their life. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:57 Highlight the passage at 1:47:57

1:48:10 So we see, we constantly, and this just happens, you know. That we're constantly seeing out there as the source of our problems, source of our suffering, source of our unhappiness. And what this is doing is actually acknowledging that no, it has everything to do with me. Report an error in the passage at 1:48:10 Highlight the passage at 1:48:10

1:48:37 The reason why I like this person, the reason why I don't like this person, the reason why that person is a stranger, it's all about me. It's not out there separate from me. It doesn't exist that way separate from me. So these are just techniques we are using. We do have to feel good about ourselves, but I also will tell you that it will come. It will come naturally as well. When you start breaking down these kind of, I like this person, I don't like that person. Report an error in the passage at 1:48:37 Highlight the passage at 1:48:37

1:49:11 You know, but of course the habits to get irritable and things like that, believe me. There have been times when I've been a very, very angry monk. I'm not proud of it. I had to go through some of that. It wasn't necessarily fair that it's something I had to endure and had to learn from and experience. But, you know, it comes with time. Report an error in the passage at 1:49:11 Highlight the passage at 1:49:11

1:49:45 It will come with time. The first step to... All this work is the awareness. You cannot change anything until you become aware of it. And what you're really working on here is just the simple awareness of how this person appears and I have immediately one of these three ways of seeing them. Report an error in the passage at 1:49:45 Highlight the passage at 1:49:45

1:50:12 That's amazing. If you just get that much, just noticing that much, it will start to change things. Everyone wants to be happy. Even this person right here. Report an error in the passage at 1:50:12 Highlight the passage at 1:50:12

1:50:31 Even the person you get angry at wants to be happy. And most likely is getting ourselves. Getting angry at ourselves. So we'll leave it for now, but it'll come. I think you're getting me, right? Are you getting me? I'm getting me. Report an error in the passage at 1:50:31 Highlight the passage at 1:50:31

1:50:49 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:50:49 Highlight the passage at 1:50:49

1:50:53 I mean, our happiness is important, but I think our happiness, it's important. It's going to be a byproduct of the work we do. It'll arise naturally. And this is why His Holiness is safe. It's a selfish kind of happiness because when you start to cherish others, happiness comes. Joy comes. It comes very, very naturally. And I think all of us probably have some taste of that because there's been times when we have totally been selflessly doing some kind of action, whether it's volunteering or Or traveling or something like this where it's engaged with others. And there's no sense of like, I want this, I want that, or this person's this way, a person's that way. Report an error in the passage at 1:50:53 Highlight the passage at 1:50:53

1:51:46 It's just kind of very fluidly like you want them to be happy or doing, serving them in some way. It's just, it's very spacious. So I think we have that. And that will come. That comes, believe me. But it comes from cherishing others. It's a tough one because we're up against our own culture. We're really up against our own culture. Report an error in the passage at 1:51:46 Highlight the passage at 1:51:46

1:52:13 Our culture is going to reinforce that this is the way we want to be because this will sell clothes and cars and movies and everything. Report an error in the passage at 1:52:13 Highlight the passage at 1:52:13

1:52:23 And this out there is a source of our happiness. And Buddhism is actually saying no to all of that. This is not the source of your happiness. The source of your happiness is your own mind. And you can see this out there and it can still make you happy. By all means, it can still make you happy. There's no reason. But this over here, which now makes you unhappy, can make you happy as well. It's just how you see it. Report an error in the passage at 1:52:23 Highlight the passage at 1:52:23

1:52:58 Anyway, Report an error in the passage at 1:52:58 Highlight the passage at 1:52:58

1:53:02 we'll get happy. Report an error in the passage at 1:53:02 Highlight the passage at 1:53:02

1:53:07 Okay. It's nine o 'clock, so I think... We can draw to a close. I Report an error in the passage at 1:53:07 Highlight the passage at 1:53:07

1:53:22 know I'm starting rather early on this, but why not? Report an error in the passage at 1:53:22 Highlight the passage at 1:53:22

1:53:30 I don't know if any of you have a formal practice that you don't have to, but I'm going to suggest a simple practice that we can do, and we'll close with that. In the morning when you get up, the first thing you do is set your motivation. May this be the happiest day of my life. Report an error in the passage at 1:53:30 Highlight the passage at 1:53:30

1:54:02 And may everything I do benefit others. All day long. Report an error in the passage at 1:54:02 Highlight the passage at 1:54:02

1:54:15 Simple as that. At the end of the day, take five minutes before your head hits the pillow. Maybe three minutes if this is easy to. Take a couple minutes and you reflect on some of the experiences of the day where you might have hurt someone, hurt yourself, did some actions where you weren't so happy with. Report an error in the passage at 1:54:15 Highlight the passage at 1:54:15

1:54:45 And you have to generate some regret. You know, if I did this over again, I wouldn't have said that. I wouldn't have done that. Report an error in the passage at 1:54:45 Highlight the passage at 1:54:45

1:54:55 If I had it all over to do, I'd do it differently. Just a few minutes. Just regret. And then you match that with rejoice. You rejoice in those moments where you did bring a smile, where you did accomplish something that was really wonderful. Report an error in the passage at 1:54:55 Highlight the passage at 1:54:55

1:55:17 So you don't do one without the other, where you brought some smile, yeah, you did something nice for someone, or you brought happiness, or something like that. Report an error in the passage at 1:55:17 Highlight the passage at 1:55:17

1:55:28 Rejoice over there. And that's the beginning of your Buddhist practice. And so tonight, we close this session with just a moment of dedication, because we like to seal, we open the book with a motivation, and we close the book. Report an error in the passage at 1:55:28 Highlight the passage at 1:55:28

1:55:53 That whatever we've learned, contemplated, reflected on in this evening, that is a series of moments of mind that will have created an imprint that will shift our experiences. Just like the movie or anything else creates moments of mind and ways of seeing things. So we can really be quite happy with the fact that we're opening up our minds, reflecting on things, expanding our awareness and learning about bodhicitta, loving kindness, compassion, altruism, wisdom. Report an error in the passage at 1:55:53 Highlight the passage at 1:55:53

1:56:42 So we can really rejoice in all that and dedicate that so that not only do we end our own suffering, the suffering that's going on in this world day by day, moment by moment, that maybe through our actions, As simple as they might be, it somehow has a residual effect out there of bringing happiness to all those others as well. Report an error in the passage at 1:56:42 Highlight the passage at 1:56:42

1:57:08 Thank you. Report an error in the passage at 1:57:08 Highlight the passage at 1:57:08

1:57:18 Oh, they have a pair in the morning. Okay. You know better than I do. So you're saying to leave it? No, I think it's rearranged. Oh, no, we only do. Mary would know. Okay, thank you. And Chad, here's your... Report an error in the passage at 1:57:18 Highlight the passage at 1:57:18