Discovering Buddhism - Developing Bodhicitta (3 April 2008)

0:07 We're working on this exchanging self with others. And what are we talking about when we talk about exchanging self with others? What do we mean by that? Report an error in the passage at 0:07 Highlight the passage at 0:07

0:27 What is the attitude? Report an error in the passage at 0:27 Highlight the passage at 0:27

0:38 Yes, the wish that exchanging the attitude that I am most important with the attitude that others are important. That kind of that attitude we have now, that my happiness comes before others. Report an error in the passage at 0:38 Highlight the passage at 0:38

0:59 And that's real subtle because it's definitely, you Report an error in the passage at 0:59 Highlight the passage at 0:59

1:06 know, that's everything we do really. Report an error in the passage at 1:06 Highlight the passage at 1:06

1:14 So exchanging that where everyone else is Report an error in the passage at 1:14 Highlight the passage at 1:14

1:21 now, Report an error in the passage at 1:21 Highlight the passage at 1:21

1:26 the importance one. So it's the actual changing for this attitude. And we started that with this discussion on that we're all in this together. There's no difference between you and I. We all want to be happy. Report an error in the passage at 1:26 Highlight the passage at 1:26

1:53 And you can't really find anyone in this planet that doesn't want to be happy. Even if they want misery, they still want to be happy. Report an error in the passage at 1:53 Highlight the passage at 1:53

2:03 We just have different ways of interpreting what makes us happy. But it is everyone seeking that. Even at an animal level, you know, animals have a very instinctual way of running away from fear. Report an error in the passage at 2:03 Highlight the passage at 2:03

2:27 Trying not to get in situations to protect themselves. And to be happy at a very mundane level maybe, but just there is that. They'll go towards food, go away from danger, things like that. So there is this kind of common thing that we all want to be happy. And there's no difference between any of us in that aspect. Report an error in the passage at 2:27 Highlight the passage at 2:27

2:56 And so we... The reason why we want to look at that is then you try to apply some analysis because why is my happiness more important than everyone else's? Report an error in the passage at 2:56 Highlight the passage at 2:56

3:12 Because that's the current road of thinking. Why is our happiness more important? It's not. It's not. So we want to look at that a little bit closely. So now we move on to the disadvantages of cherishing myself. And the advantages... cherishing others. Report an error in the passage at 3:12 Highlight the passage at 3:12

3:37 So what are some disadvantages for cherishing myself? Anything come to mind? Report an error in the passage at 3:37 Highlight the passage at 3:37

4:14 Just in terms of numbers, yeah, that's very good, that's good. I think we talked about that a little bit, yeah. Why is my happiness so much more important when I'm just one and everyone else is countless? So just focus keeping on just from that aspect. The two ways of thinking about the problems that come from the self-cherishing is one is recognizing how our present problems are directly related to self-cherishing and Report an error in the passage at 4:14 Highlight the passage at 4:14

4:53 also to analyze that our problems also come from the negative actions of our past which came out of a self-cherishing mode. Report an error in the passage at 4:53 Highlight the passage at 4:53

5:12 Karma. Cause and effect, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 5:12 Highlight the passage at 5:12

5:17 The second one is a little bit more maybe difficult to comprehend in terms of many lives, especially for some of us who we've agreed don't necessarily accept the concept of reincarnation. But even in the context of this life, we can apply that one, I think, if you look at it carefully. So let's spend some time just thinking about this. Report an error in the passage at 5:17 Highlight the passage at 5:17

5:45 Let's go to the first one. How are present problems? Are directly related to self-cherishing. So does anyone want to tell me about their problems? Report an error in the passage at 5:45 Highlight the passage at 5:45

5:59 Come on. It's okay. We can analyze it as a group. It's a safe place. Okay. Report an error in the passage at 5:59 Highlight the passage at 5:59

6:19 I guess I'm going to... Report an error in the passage at 6:19 Highlight the passage at 6:19

6:29 Well, probably not, but at the same time, we do consider them to be problems in terms of the way we conduct ourselves kind of habitually, meaning that person said this about me. And that's a problem because I get hurt from what they said. And so it is a problem. It may not be the biggest problem on the planet, for sure. But I consider it a problem because I've gotten hurt. And the reason I got hurt is why? Report an error in the passage at 6:29 Highlight the passage at 6:29

7:09 Because I think I'm important and shouldn't be hurt. Report an error in the passage at 7:09 Highlight the passage at 7:09

7:17 So I'm involved in that one, aren't I? You had another example, Marian? Report an error in the passage at 7:17 Highlight the passage at 7:17

7:45 the A's yesterday and he Report an error in the passage at 7:45 Highlight the passage at 7:45

8:06 But it's a good example to bring up because we're also tempering this with wisdom, which is realizing our own capabilities, capacities, but you can still see that there's self-cherishing there. Report an error in the passage at 8:06 Highlight the passage at 8:06

8:26 No, but it's okay to recognize self-cherishing. It may not still be the solution to do everything he wants to do. know, just... Report an error in the passage at 8:26 Highlight the passage at 8:26

8:37 That necessarily may not be the solution. Report an error in the passage at 8:37 Highlight the passage at 8:37

8:59 Yeah, yeah. Well, it's kind of like that, but let's just look at this. I mean, because there's somebody that wants to do something and you don't really have the capacity or bandwidth to do it. So there is that you part that you're tired or you don't have, you know. So it's there. Self-cherishing is there. So it becomes a problem. Report an error in the passage at 8:59 Highlight the passage at 8:59

9:27 If there was no self-cherishing... There would be no problem, right? Report an error in the passage at 9:27 Highlight the passage at 9:27

9:34 No, you wouldn't necessarily say, oh sure, you wouldn't necessarily. That's where I'm saying there's still wisdom. Because there's two different parts to this. There's the one part that looks at your attitude, what's going on in your mind, and says there's self-cherishing there. Because I don't want to deal with this. Report an error in the passage at 9:34 Highlight the passage at 9:34

9:58 Now there's the other attitude is whether it's most going to... I'm okay. Report an error in the passage at 9:58 Highlight the passage at 9:58

10:02 Benefit him or benefit his happiness if I do. Those are two separate things. And we have to make the distinction. Report an error in the passage at 10:02 Highlight the passage at 10:02

10:15 For me, it's kind of interesting because I've Report an error in the passage at 10:15 Highlight the passage at 10:15

10:22 been going through some stuff with being in my new role. On the one hand, I get all this support, praise, maybe I shouldn't, so like that. On the other hand, I get bashed. Report an error in the passage at 10:22 Highlight the passage at 10:22

10:37 People not agreeing or people really, really negative stuff coming at me. And it's an interesting thing because I really have to think about it. How do I react to it? How do I deal with it at a personal level? So, you know, again, Report an error in the passage at 10:37 Highlight the passage at 10:37

11:02 the problem is... So, Report an error in the passage at 11:02 Highlight the passage at 11:02

11:13 I mean, I suffer from people thinking negatively of me. And what I think is I'm trying to do... In a very positive framework, but it's almost like, you know, it's about me. So I get hurt. Now, if I'm so, you know, if I'm very comfortable with the fact that I'm doing this for the benefit of the community or whatever, then it's understandable that not everyone's going to necessarily agree. Report an error in the passage at 11:13 Highlight the passage at 11:13

11:47 And if I'm clear that it's for the benefit of others, then I'm clear about that and there's no problem. And so there's no reason to get hurt. But of course the ego's there. The ego doesn't want to hear people's harsh things, criticism, especially if it's unfounded, which some of it is. But, you know, so I know, I mean, in terms of the amount of hurt or pain I feel in this situation is directly related to my self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 11:47 Highlight the passage at 11:47

12:21 It's clear. It doesn't make me necessarily suffer less. At least not the capacity that I'm at. But it makes me think about it. Report an error in the passage at 12:21 Highlight the passage at 12:21

12:36 Yeah, yeah. Well, in your situation, too, I was thinking, because, you know, this is one thing I've learned in some ways with Geshe-la. Report an error in the passage at 12:36 Highlight the passage at 12:36

12:46 But Geshe-la, I consider to be a bodhisattva for my time. He's very, very selfless and tireless and doesn't say no, I mean, and things like that. Report an error in the passage at 12:46 Highlight the passage at 12:46

12:57 And that is a very, very Tibetan thing, is not to say no. It will just do and give. It's much, I mean, in general, especially putting his teachings in. And I'm known to being with him and being, taking care of his guests, his students and things like that. I mean, I can't, you know, I have to do it. If I'm tired, it doesn't matter. I still have to find the capacity to do it. Report an error in the passage at 12:57 Highlight the passage at 12:57

13:29 And with a smile. And I, it wasn't necessarily at that place. Really, certainly at the beginning. Because you see people and they're grasping and different things like that and you're trying to protect Geshe-la who doesn't really need protection but you think he does. So there's all kinds of things there too. I mean, and sometimes you're just like, you don't have, I mean, this is not necessarily the way you would handle or whatever. There's all kinds of things you're judging in it. Report an error in the passage at 13:29 Highlight the passage at 13:29

14:03 But I mean, just, I think in general it's just this capacity just to, This is a situation in the moment and you're practicing and you let go of your own I because that's where you're going to suffer. Report an error in the passage at 14:03 Highlight the passage at 14:03

14:34 Any other problems that people have? We're going to be very general here. I don't expect you to give me your... It's not really meant to be therapy, but the ideas really get across how... What we might consider to be problems is really self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 14:34 Highlight the passage at 14:34

14:58 I mean, that comes down to going to a restaurant and not getting what you want to eat. Report an error in the passage at 14:58 Highlight the passage at 14:58

15:11 I think we have a lot of this, especially in our culture. There's a lot of high expectations built into our culture which can't necessarily be met. And the reason why they become problems... It's directly related to how much self-cherishing there is. Yes? Report an error in the passage at 15:11 Highlight the passage at 15:11

· · · silence, 1 minute

16:14 Well, Report an error in the passage at 16:14 Highlight the passage at 16:14

16:20 that's, Report an error in the passage at 16:20 Highlight the passage at 16:20

16:43 I mean, I think in this, again, this probably does go back to our capacity too because we do have to kind of, what I, I guess my infamous phrase is not too tight, not too loose. You know, you have to relax with yourself enough to know that this is, Where you're at, especially if you don't act on it. If it's just a mental process, at least that's the beginning. You're not necessarily saying words and things like this. Report an error in the passage at 16:43 Highlight the passage at 16:43

17:10 But to know, you know, and I really have noticed in my own patterns that when I am tired, I get a lot more irritable and irritated at small things and situations that at other times are just like... Give it a lot of space and can let go easily, but when I'm tired. And so it's usually a good sign for me to know that I need to get some rest, get a little bit more sleep, and it does help. Report an error in the passage at 17:10 Highlight the passage at 17:10

17:48 Another thing that always helps sometimes, and this is, I'll be honest, is just in this situation, living here with the staff and with the public coming at you. Because you only have your little room and sometimes you don't even have that. It can be very, very difficult. You know, it's not like you can escape it anywhere in the house. Report an error in the passage at 17:48 Highlight the passage at 17:48

18:18 We don't have a place, you know, except for me, my room. But they're not always my room. So I Report an error in the passage at 18:18 Highlight the passage at 18:18

18:29 have to, you know, I mean, a lot of times what I just, for me personally, is just to give some space, go for a walk. You know, if I know that things are kind of getting to me and I'm going mentally crazy or whatever, just go to the park, go to the ocean, just take a walk. Report an error in the passage at 18:29 Highlight the passage at 18:29

18:49 Yeah, yeah, for others, coming here might be good. For me, it's getting out of here. Report an error in the passage at 18:49 Highlight the passage at 18:49

18:57 But I think the important part, I mean, so it is this balance again, keeping this balance. Because even though, I mean, it's true. that might be good. Report an error in the passage at 18:57 Highlight the passage at 18:57

19:08 The irritation and everything like that, it's all related to my own self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 19:08 Highlight the passage at 19:08

19:17 And I think, I mean, the point here is just think of the problems we have. Like when was the last time you got annoyed? At what? Report an error in the passage at 19:17 Highlight the passage at 19:17

19:29 At work. Somebody was in some expectations you had that somebody should be different. So it was self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 19:29 Highlight the passage at 19:29

19:41 Yes? When was the last time you got angry or upset or annoyed? Report an error in the passage at 19:41 Highlight the passage at 19:41

20:04 We all know that one. Email becomes such a wonderful tool to practice patience. And it's really, really funny because so much is built into the fact we make so many projections when it's just an image on a screen. Report an error in the passage at 20:04 Highlight the passage at 20:04

20:29 Well, not only that, but you're just talking about what we call words, which are made up of letters, on a computer screen. And you've taken those letters. not have meant it Report an error in the passage at 20:29 Highlight the passage at 20:29

20:40 And you associate in your mind them with a person, and you interpret, you make all these moment-by-moment interpretations, when in actuality it's just this image. Report an error in the passage at 20:40 Highlight the passage at 20:40

20:52 And on the basis of that image, just think of all the emotions and things that come up. And it's all about self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 20:52 Highlight the passage at 20:52

21:02 We make so many projections. And it's not valid in some ways to do that, but it's also... It's a good thing to take a step back and look at it, especially before you respond. Report an error in the passage at 21:02 Highlight the passage at 21:02

21:19 I make a habit sometimes, especially with the more volatile emails I get, if I write a response to put it in a draft box for at least a day, it's really wise. I think it stops some of the stuff that comes by, especially in this time. Report an error in the passage at 21:19 Highlight the passage at 21:19

22:06 this thing where she'd gotten a... We found a sign-up for someone who's actually making a film of that. Report an error in the passage at 22:06 Highlight the passage at 22:06

22:17 We'll actually, if she's selected to be one of the subjects, then they will actually come in and help her clean her house and everything. It's a very good thing, but she spent about 45 minutes talking to this person on the phone, and I was actually starting to resent the fact that she was becoming famous for being a musician. Report an error in the passage at 22:17 Highlight the passage at 22:17

22:38 And, you know, why wasn't she spending more time with me? So I kind of left, started to leave somewhat abruptly. She says, oh, this lady wants to talk to you, you know, and ask me if I wanted to be in the film without my friend. So anyway, but I found myself... Are you also obsessive-compulsive? Oh, yeah, yeah. Not manifesting. Report an error in the passage at 22:38 Highlight the passage at 22:38

23:04 Anyway, so I found myself getting a little... I was irritated. Irritated. And that irritation came from self-cherishing or cherishing others? Report an error in the passage at 23:04 Highlight the passage at 23:04

23:24 I guess it came from, it did come from self-cherishing in the sense that I felt she wasn't cherishing me enough. Report an error in the passage at 23:24 Highlight the passage at 23:24

23:36 It definitely came from expectations. Report an error in the passage at 23:36 Highlight the passage at 23:36

23:43 So when was the last time we'd broken up with her in a relationship? Report an error in the passage at 23:43 Highlight the passage at 23:43

23:53 Is there any self-cherishing there? Report an error in the passage at 23:53 Highlight the passage at 23:53

24:06 Jealousy? Anyone have jealousy? Arise? Very clearly self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 24:06 Highlight the passage at 24:06

24:20 Can anyone think of a problem that arises for them that's not related to self-cherishing? Report an error in the passage at 24:20 Highlight the passage at 24:20

24:54 So the problem is the pain you suffer because of. Report an error in the passage at 24:54 Highlight the passage at 24:54

25:05 So is there self-cherishing? There is probably, I mean there definitely is because you're associating yourself with that knee which is suffering and painful. Report an error in the passage at 25:05 Highlight the passage at 25:05

25:18 It's a little less out of your control because there's not as much you can do about it as opposed to some other things where you can analyze it and then you can kind of dissolve it away pretty easily if you see it for what it is. But yeah, I mean there is. Report an error in the passage at 25:18 Highlight the passage at 25:18

25:46 There's definitely, but it's harder, yeah, because you don't, the pain itself comes from self-cherishing, but it's not something you can control as easily. Report an error in the passage at 25:46 Highlight the passage at 25:46

26:03 Anyone? Report an error in the passage at 26:03 Highlight the passage at 26:03

26:08 We have doubts here? Report an error in the passage at 26:08 Highlight the passage at 26:08

26:18 and what's self-preservation, Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 26:18 Highlight the passage at 26:18

26:25 there guilt associated when it is actually self-preservation because you're misinterpreting it as self-cherishing? So having the wisdom to be able to recognize the difference. know, finding the place where you can be at best service, which involves some self-preservation. Yeah, Report an error in the passage at 26:25 Highlight the passage at 26:25

26:47 I think we have to use wisdom, really, really a lot of wisdom because of the capacity we have, the level we're at. You know, there's a story of the Buddha in a previous life who came across the lion... Report an error in the passage at 26:47 Highlight the passage at 26:47

27:03 Mother, lion, with her five cubs and was able to cut off a piece of his own flesh to feed the tiger. Now, I don't know or have not seen anyone do such a thing in this life, so it seems like you have to be quite advanced practitioner or a little bit crazy to do something like that. Report an error in the passage at 27:03 Highlight the passage at 27:03

27:42 So we have to clearly be able to identify where we're at, but also be changing. That's clear. I mean, you know, the habits are there. So it's not something that's going to change overnight. But you constantly call it in to check. And I think really is to get this really clear in your mind that whenever you're experiencing a problem, you come to look at it and see if self-cherishing is present. Report an error in the passage at 27:42 Highlight the passage at 27:42

28:20 Because then it'll be a big clue that that's where the problem is stemming from. Report an error in the passage at 28:20 Highlight the passage at 28:20

28:27 And then you can judge it. Is it something that you have the capacity to change or the capacity to endure at your level? Report an error in the passage at 28:27 Highlight the passage at 28:27

28:42 There's a lot, I mean, you know, there's this, yeah, this martyrdom thing is, it doesn't really, really work. Because there's a lot of self-cherishing in that martyrdom. A lot of self-cherishing in martyrdom. There's a heavy identification with me. Report an error in the passage at 28:42 Highlight the passage at 28:42

29:04 Look at me, I'm important. I need to feel sorry for me. No one else is, but I need to. Report an error in the passage at 29:04 Highlight the passage at 29:04

29:15 Yeah, you're being a victim in another way. Report an error in the passage at 29:15 Highlight the passage at 29:15

29:19 There's a lot of self-cherishing there, really. But, I mean, at the same time, you have to really be clear what your capacity is. And I think this is where we kind of get it wrong, where we kind of think, you know, especially in this bodhicitta discussion, it's like, you know, it's a really wonderful concept to think that we can cherish others. Report an error in the passage at 29:19 Highlight the passage at 29:19

29:43 But what does that come down to? It means for me, getting enough sleep So that when I come down the stairs and the public's in my face, or all these people and the staff, that I can at least be kind, you know? Report an error in the passage at 29:43 Highlight the passage at 29:43

30:06 Or with Geshe-la students, just to be kind, serve them, let go of my judgments. Report an error in the passage at 30:06 Highlight the passage at 30:06

30:33 What? Report an error in the passage at 30:33 Highlight the passage at 30:33

30:51 Is the grandchild also miserable afterwards? Report an error in the passage at 30:51 Highlight the passage at 30:51

31:02 Would he be miserable if you weren't there? Report an error in the passage at 31:02 Highlight the passage at 31:02

31:22 What's the misery? Where's the misery coming from? Report an error in the passage at 31:22 Highlight the passage at 31:22

31:28 For you. Report an error in the passage at 31:28 Highlight the passage at 31:28

· · · silence, 1 minute

32:08 Things like that. Report an error in the passage at 32:08 Highlight the passage at 32:08

32:21 So, okay, so is there self-cherishing in that? Yes. Report an error in the passage at 32:21 Highlight the passage at 32:21

32:36 No, no, I'm just looking, I'm not talking about whether he goes or not. I very commend you actually for making the effort because I think in the long run it's very, very good for both sides, for the grandmother and for your child. But I'm looking at the fact that something... Like her way of saying things or dealing with situations is getting you upset because you have expectations that it should be something else. Report an error in the passage at 32:36 Highlight the passage at 32:36

33:04 So there is some self-cherishing there. And I think the situation could change if you identify that for what it was and you might find it a different approach would work. Report an error in the passage at 33:04 Highlight the passage at 33:04

33:23 Because in some ways, I mean, if she's just... Saying she wants to feed, maybe she's wrong that he's not, you know, her thinking that he's starving, but she's also trying to be kind. She's coming out of a place, you know, for her, maybe. She's trying to, you know, I mean, she may not be right. No one says that the other person's right. But, you know, and her motivation, of course, and she has attachment for her grandchild and things like this. Report an error in the passage at 33:23 Highlight the passage at 33:23

33:56 and so You know, it's okay. No, I'm sure, but I think the point here really is we're looking at the disadvantages of self-cherishing. That actually if we look at our problems, and this is the main one we're trying to do, if we look at our problems, we have to find self-cherishing there. Otherwise this doesn't really hold up. But so far, you know, no one's given me an example where there's not self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 33:56 Highlight the passage at 33:56

34:31 The pain in the knee is probably the closest thing, but in fact that's self-cherishing too. Yeah? So I find that... Report an error in the passage at 34:31 Highlight the passage at 34:31

· · · silence, 1 minute

35:29 Well, His Holiness, so what is the one thing, if you're going to be selfish, why selfish? Because the advantages of self-cherishing, which we'll look at a little bit later, is the fact that it's... It creates a state of happiness. It's the source of happiness. So don't feel too bad about being selfish about that aspect of it. Report an error in the passage at 35:29 Highlight the passage at 35:29

36:07 Because your happiness is directly related to cherishing others. That's the nice part about it. You can be happy. But I think the important thing to recognize is that all this unhappiness comes from cherishing oneself. Report an error in the passage at 36:07 Highlight the passage at 36:07

36:27 From being hurt by what someone says, is your ego stepping into the way and thinking that these words have such importance or such weight, or whether it's an email or whatever. Report an error in the passage at 36:27 Highlight the passage at 36:27

36:42 It's kind of like, you know, and we watch the mind do this. Report an error in the passage at 36:42 Highlight the passage at 36:42

36:49 It's habit. I mean, I'm not telling any of you that this is going to end overnight. But mostly you just need to look at it. And what you're saying too, I mean... If you look at any situation where you feel, Report an error in the passage at 36:49 Highlight the passage at 36:49

37:08 I always find this resistance or kind of tightness, there's self-cherishing there. There's self-cherishing. Whereas when things seem to just flow and move, they're in a very open kind of way, cherishing others. Report an error in the passage at 37:08 Highlight the passage at 37:08

37:37 So the moment you feel that tightness or the mind sits in, it's like, oh, maybe I shouldn't do this or this or this or this or that, you know, because you have to be a little bit careful there. You have to really analyze. It's self-cherishing behind that. Now, it's still true we have capacities based on, you know, our level. Report an error in the passage at 37:37 Highlight the passage at 37:37

38:02 So you can't ignore that. Report an error in the passage at 38:02 Highlight the passage at 38:02

38:12 So all of our problems in life, all of our suffering is really coming from the self-cherishing moment feeling. But now we just looked at the present problems, now let's look at some of even the negative karma from self-cherishing in the past. Report an error in the passage at 38:12 Highlight the passage at 38:12

38:28 One of the main considerations to think on this level is the fact that I'm still in this existence. I'm not a Buddha yet. The reason why I'm not a Buddha yet is because of self-cherishing. I haven't been able to get out of the grasp of self-cherishing. The reason why, and you can lose any example, for me like the Dalai Lama or Lama Zopa Rinpoche or even Geshe-la, the reason why I'm not at their level is because of self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 38:28 Highlight the passage at 38:28

39:10 It's really clear to me, I mean it's funny because the Chinese make such accusations of His Holiness. This person has not one bit of self-cherishing, you know. He's very charismatic, he's very wise, Report an error in the passage at 39:10 Highlight the passage at 39:10

39:29 but he does not have self-cherishing. In some ways he could care less really what happened to the Tibetan people. Certainly if it meant war and violence and things like that, he would not approve of it. Report an error in the passage at 39:29 Highlight the passage at 39:29

39:52 I think one of the things he's really, really clearly identified is this culture, the value of this culture and the value in keeping it alive because it's a benefit not just for the Tibetan people but for the whole planet. Report an error in the passage at 39:52 Highlight the passage at 39:52

40:09 And that's where, I think, really where he's coming from. It's not so much that he needs to be remembered by the Tibetan people or anything like that. It's this great man. Not any of that in his frame of mind at all. And what I think, you know, I mean, this is part of it, I think, that's kind of missed. Report an error in the passage at 40:09 Highlight the passage at 40:09

40:31 But, and, you know, I mean, Chinese government leaders just don't get it. You know, they're trying to vilify him, but I mean, it's kind of like, there's not one bit of self-cherishing there. Not that there aren't other people around him that don't have some self-cherishing. For their own power and things like that. That does happen. And even amongst its friends, yes. It's their culture. They have different ways and the different power bases that have arisen through time and history. Report an error in the passage at 40:31 Highlight the passage at 40:31

41:04 But, you know, they have very good examples of... And this culture is very, very important. I am a little bit afraid of its loss. It's a loss to humanity in general. And it could easily be lost. You know, maybe not within our lifetime, but if the cause of Tibet is lost, the culture could disappear within the next generation or so. Report an error in the passage at 41:04 Highlight the passage at 41:04

41:39 It's very, very clear. I mean, we see the example really with the American Indians in this culture. It doesn't take long before just traces of it disappear because you don't have the language. Report an error in the passage at 41:39 Highlight the passage at 41:39

41:57 I mean, they've done it really well. Yeah, I mean, they've done a good job in terms of keeping a lot of this alive in exile. I mean, it's amazing what they've been able to do. But I'll tell you, too, I mean, it's really, really critical because I even think if the Tibetan people lose their hope, which is really right now, for both inside and out, Report an error in the passage at 41:57 Highlight the passage at 41:57

42:26 then there'll be no, for the exile community, there'll be no purpose. And trying to keep the culture alive, they'll lose that hope. Report an error in the passage at 42:26 Highlight the passage at 42:26

42:42 Not just to have the Dalai Lama in Tibet, but also Report an error in the passage at 42:42 Highlight the passage at 42:42

42:54 I think there's a lot of people who recognize the value of the teachings and to keep that going. Report an error in the passage at 42:54 Highlight the passage at 42:54

43:07 So we're not Buddhists. I haven't received any realizations yet. I really don't know how to practice the Dharma yet. And I'm not even good at that. Enjoying just the very mundane happiness as well. You know, chase the things that I think are going to make me happy and don't get them. My mind's always thinking that those things are going to make me happy even if I don't chase them. So that's all about self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 43:07 Highlight the passage at 43:07

43:46 But the disadvantages of this self-cherishing has just kept me where I'm at. Report an error in the passage at 43:46 Highlight the passage at 43:46

43:55 And it will continue to do so. Report an error in the passage at 43:55 Highlight the passage at 43:55

44:02 It will continue to do so in my future. And even if you look into, within this lifetime, cause and effect, because I don't want to try to make you stretch it to previous lives, but if you look even within this lifetime at your situation where you are today, it's based on decisions you have made in this lifetime as well. Report an error in the passage at 44:02 Highlight the passage at 44:02

44:36 And some of those decisions would have been made on the basis of self-cherishing. So on the basis of self-cherishing, those decisions were made and you find yourself in the situation that you're in. Report an error in the passage at 44:36 Highlight the passage at 44:36

44:51 That could come out based on fear of, at some early age, fear of the unknown or fear of maybe I won't succeed so I'm not going to pursue that. Report an error in the passage at 44:51 Highlight the passage at 44:51

45:04 And so now you're unhappy because you really didn't pursue your dream. Report an error in the passage at 45:04 Highlight the passage at 45:04

45:15 Will you get this one? Maybe. Report an error in the passage at 45:15 Highlight the passage at 45:15

45:20 So there's self-cherishing behind that. Or I married this particular person because I thought they were going to make me happy when it was all about me. And in the end, they didn't make me happy because it wasn't really within their capacity to make me happy. I have to make me happy. I can't expect it to come out from the outside. But at the time, I didn't know that. And I don't know if I still know that, but still. Report an error in the passage at 45:20 Highlight the passage at 45:20

45:51 It's about self-cherishing. And if we look at the relationships we have and things like this, Report an error in the passage at 45:51 Highlight the passage at 45:51

46:03 yes, we get it? Disadvantages of self-cherishing? Enough disadvantages? Report an error in the passage at 46:03 Highlight the passage at 46:03

46:13 Can we move on to the advantages of cherishing others? Report an error in the passage at 46:13 Highlight the passage at 46:13

46:31 So think of how all of our happiness comes from cherishing others. Report an error in the passage at 46:31 Highlight the passage at 46:31

46:44 The good food we eat, the things we enjoy comes from others. Think of how when someone treats us with kindness, how that makes us feel happy. Report an error in the passage at 46:44 Highlight the passage at 46:44

47:04 And think how when we ourselves are making others happy in some small kind act, that's actually a source of happiness for us. Report an error in the passage at 47:04 Highlight the passage at 47:04

47:23 Anyone got examples where Report an error in the passage at 47:23 Highlight the passage at 47:23

47:37 cherishing others brings happiness? Do I have to sell you on this idea? Report an error in the passage at 47:37 Highlight the passage at 47:37

47:58 Make eye contact with a person and smile, look at them. And it's really amazing how much just that little bit ignites something back. And the next time I see that person, they're happier to see me. And before all these things where I would just, all these transactions that are just, you know, living in a city day to day, tend to ignore the people behind it. Report an error in the passage at 47:58 Highlight the passage at 47:58

48:29 Do make eye contact with them. It's amazing how much more feedback you get. Just taking the time. Report an error in the passage at 48:29 Highlight the passage at 48:29

48:44 I think to be a human being and smile, yeah, it's just amazing. Report an error in the passage at 48:44 Highlight the passage at 48:44

48:55 Or like sometimes, to me sometimes, especially with the homeless, with the street people, just by saying hello or this or that, because I mean so much they're definitely marginalized and most people want to ignore them because they're afraid of them or whatever, but just to know, I think sometimes just to recognize that they're a human being goes a long ways. Report an error in the passage at 48:55 Highlight the passage at 48:55

49:24 For yourself as well, as for them. And it's true, we get desensitized by being in the city for sure. You have so much coming at you all the time. Report an error in the passage at 49:24 Highlight the passage at 49:24

49:43 But it takes practice, but it's a good one. That's a very good example. Because you do feel the results. Report an error in the passage at 49:43 Highlight the passage at 49:43

49:54 I know when I get enough rest and I can come down here, it's good. know Report an error in the passage at 49:54 Highlight the passage at 49:54

50:02 I mean, it's good because I know that people enjoy it. When I'm not, they don't. They really don't. And I don't really want them to suffer. I know that. And sometimes I can't. I mean, if I'm tired, it kind of happens too fast. Report an error in the passage at 50:02 Highlight the passage at 50:02

50:25 So I feel good when I know that they're not suffering and I maybe can bring a little joy or laughter into the situation. Report an error in the passage at 50:25 Highlight the passage at 50:25

50:35 By being kind. So my own happiness really depends upon this. It really does. It's very, very clear. Report an error in the passage at 50:35 Highlight the passage at 50:35

50:54 And think of your relationships, how in some ways with your parents, your family, your partner, things like this, how in that relationship, wishing them happiness, thinking of their happiness, brings so much more joy into your own. Way of reflecting on it. Whereas the opposite usually brings to suffering, leads to suffering, tension, stress. Report an error in the passage at 50:54 Highlight the passage at 50:54

51:30 Yes? Report an error in the passage at 51:30 Highlight the passage at 51:30

51:40 And this doesn't even talk about some of the advantages of the cause and effect relationship here either of cherishing others. For example, just by abandoning killing, abandoning killing, protecting life of others. Report an error in the passage at 51:40 Highlight the passage at 51:40

52:01 Amazing. Future karma. Report an error in the passage at 52:01 Highlight the passage at 52:01

52:09 It helps you to have a long life, good health and happiness. These are direct causal relationships of just not harming, benefiting others. Report an error in the passage at 52:09 Highlight the passage at 52:09

52:37 By not stealing, taking things from others, being miserly. These all come from self-cherishing, right? Report an error in the passage at 52:37 Highlight the passage at 52:37

52:51 By practicing generosity. It's amazing. It's so nice to give. It's such a nice feeling when you can. Report an error in the passage at 52:51 Highlight the passage at 52:51

53:07 When you can give something, whether it's something physical or just a smile or something, listening to someone, there's many ways to give. Report an error in the passage at 53:07 Highlight the passage at 53:07

53:19 It not only makes that person happy, but it also makes yourself happy. Report an error in the passage at 53:19 Highlight the passage at 53:19

53:26 Try that on your mother-in-law. Report an error in the passage at 53:26 Highlight the passage at 53:26

53:35 No, but I really think that, you know, with practice these things can really shift. Report an error in the passage at 53:35 Highlight the passage at 53:35

53:52 No, she's, I mean, in that particular case, I mean, there's different, you know, I was thinking just in terms of just bringing down to the human level, someone who may or may not be that happy, you know, in their own mind, in their own situation, because a lot of us feel miserable about what we've done with our lives and how they've kind of, especially as you get older, I think a lot of people it's very... Report an error in the passage at 53:52 Highlight the passage at 53:52

54:17 Difficult because you see what might have been, you see what other people have got, this or that. And you can build up into a natural resentment of the way what your own situation is rather than seeing the more positive aspects of what you've been able to do and offer. So many people as they get older can get very, very, very bitter and angry and it's a lot of suffering involved in that. Report an error in the passage at 54:17 Highlight the passage at 54:17

54:47 A lot of expectations. Report an error in the passage at 54:47 Highlight the passage at 54:47

54:52 You know, I look at, I mean, in my own mother's situation, I mean, all of her, the suffering that she does have is directly related to the expectations she places on others and some of it's unrealistic. People have their lives and have to keep going and some of it's not so unfounded but she wouldn't suffer so much if she'd just let go. But what happens over time, habits build up and then people have difficulty being with her. Report an error in the passage at 54:52 Highlight the passage at 54:52

55:22 Because that's the way they now project her to be, which sometimes is their own problem too because she's not completely like the way they project her to be. But, you know, she's created the situation over time that that's how they see her. She's also integrated into that. Report an error in the passage at 55:22 Highlight the passage at 55:22

55:43 It's not a two-way street. But her suffering is definitely related to her self-care. So our anger, our intolerance. All come from self-cherishing. And so the opposite of those, loving kindness, patience, in the future, they actually are the cause for me to be beautiful, both of body and mind. Report an error in the passage at 55:43 Highlight the passage at 55:43

56:18 And this is really kind of interesting, actually. Report an error in the passage at 56:18 Highlight the passage at 56:18

56:26 This is a karmic effect of being patient and kind. Report an error in the passage at 56:26 Highlight the passage at 56:26

56:35 So when you think of these beautiful people out in this... Out in the world it's because they've been patient and kind before. But it's also at this other level because you think of someone Report an error in the passage at 56:35 Highlight the passage at 56:35

56:49 like the Dalai Lama who is not exactly the most Hollywood picture or model picture of beauty but people really don't tire of being with him, looking at him, are drawn to him because he exudes loving kindness and compassion. Report an error in the passage at 56:49 Highlight the passage at 56:49

57:15 So it's not just physical looks, but also it's that attraction thing. Through loving kindness, people want to be with you. Report an error in the passage at 57:15 Highlight the passage at 57:15

57:28 You know, they do. Report an error in the passage at 57:28 Highlight the passage at 57:28

57:36 And so they're attracted to you. Whereas if you're the opposite, you're angry and irritable and only concerned about yourself, most people don't really want to hang around you very long. Report an error in the passage at 57:36 Highlight the passage at 57:36

57:52 Now, there is a club where you can go where other people who are miserable also go. But generally, it's not that much fun. Report an error in the passage at 57:52 Highlight the passage at 57:52

58:06 The Victims Club. Anyway, but you get the point here, right? And it's amazing. I mean, I think, you know, it's like, jeez. Report an error in the passage at 58:06 Highlight the passage at 58:06

58:21 So I'm learning to be patient because in my next life I want to really be very good looking. Report an error in the passage at 58:21 Highlight the passage at 58:21

58:29 It's one of the aspects, right? I'm going to be a movie star in my next life. Report an error in the passage at 58:29 Highlight the passage at 58:29

58:38 Well, it is definitely, definitely. Report an error in the passage at 58:38 Highlight the passage at 58:38

58:42 No, definitely. But I think this is why, though, I mean, and it's true, I mean, like there's, you know, even for the Buddha, for example, like there's this, in our minds, okay, over time, you have this relationship with this image. Report an error in the passage at 58:42 Highlight the passage at 58:42

59:06 And this image represents loving kindness and compassion and wisdom. And you build up this attraction over time, psychologically. That's what you become attracted to. And you think of another image, Report an error in the passage at 59:06 Highlight the passage at 59:06

59:26 very negative kind of, which brings a fear that reflects back in a very fearful way. But for me, I mean, definitely the Buddha is an image. Jesus on a cross didn't quite do the same thing. Report an error in the passage at 59:26 Highlight the passage at 59:26

59:43 It doesn't invoke loving kindness and compassion. And maybe it's because he's depicted as being on a cross. I don't know. For some people it might. I'm not criticizing that at all. But I'm just talking about it in terms of image. This Buddha, I mean from an early age of course, this Buddha sitting there very peaceful and serene. Report an error in the passage at 59:43 Highlight the passage at 59:43

1:00:07 I don't know. It's always been something I'm attracted to. And over time it just comes to represent this. Loving kindness, compassion, wisdom, just like the Dalai Lama for me and some of my teachers. So cherishing others, this is where it's coming from. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:07 Highlight the passage at 1:00:07

1:00:29 If you want to be a beauty queen, patience and tolerance. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:29 Highlight the passage at 1:00:29

1:00:37 And then thinking, the other part of this, of course, is if we understand how these qualities come, then we can understand the benefits of cherishing others. But also to look in depth at how the kindness of others. Okay. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:37 Highlight the passage at 1:00:37

1:00:52 No, this doesn't. And how that kindness of others and through those actions that these people did or whatever that leads to happiness so that these actions of kindness lead to happiness which then means that in my own actions of kindness can lead to others' happiness. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:52 Highlight the passage at 1:00:52

1:01:16 Our body came from the kindness of our parents who bore so many hardships for us along the way. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:16 Highlight the passage at 1:01:16

1:01:29 It was really, I mean, the parents, in Buddhism, the parents really were very, very pivotal in terms of repaying the kindness. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:29 Highlight the passage at 1:01:29

1:01:39 We look at that relationship a lot to recognize it for the kindness it was. Our education from the teachers, and they were kind to us. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:39 Highlight the passage at 1:01:39

1:01:57 And I really do feel, I mean, I don't think certainly that I remember, I think... All the teachers I ever had had to be motivated by wishing to help, to help others. They certainly are not motivated by money. College level, sometimes it's name and fame, maybe. But certainly in grade school, high school, they really, I mean, no matter whether they were, you know, I had some bad teachers as well, but they were all trying to help. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:57 Highlight the passage at 1:01:57

1:02:39 Help us learn something. And it's a tough job. It really is. And I'm not saying they're all good at it, but where they were coming from was a place of kindness. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:39 Highlight the passage at 1:02:39

1:02:55 Granted, over the years, some of them got a little embittered, a little impatient. But really, certainly, how they ended up there in the first place was through a wish to help others. And they did. If I think of all my teachers, I mean, I wouldn't be here today with what I do know if it wasn't for the kindness of my teachers. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:55 Highlight the passage at 1:02:55

1:03:31 Even our money comes from the kindness of others. And for some of us, that's not a lot, but it Report an error in the passage at 1:03:31 Highlight the passage at 1:03:31

1:03:47 does come from the kindness of others. Actually, I have to admit that I'm totally dependent upon the kindness of others. Really. Because all the offerings I get, even the small stipend I get every month to live on, I mean it's coming from the kindness of the community. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:47 Highlight the passage at 1:03:47

1:04:08 I don't always think about it. I think I'm entitled to more sometimes. But let's see, I seem to manage okay. But it's funny what the mind does do. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:08 Highlight the passage at 1:04:08

1:04:24 So the money we get even, depending upon the kindness, depends on the kindness of your boss at work. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:24 Highlight the passage at 1:04:24

1:04:35 The person who hired you gave you the chance, took the risk that you would work and fit in a particular environment with a particular team of people you work with. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:35 Highlight the passage at 1:04:35

1:04:48 They didn't have to. No one had to. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:48 Highlight the passage at 1:04:48

1:04:58 Granted, you're doing a lot maybe in exchange, but it's still to the kindness of others that you're there in the first place. Our Report an error in the passage at 1:04:58 Highlight the passage at 1:04:58

1:05:13 clothes. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:13 Highlight the passage at 1:05:13

1:05:18 Think of all the people who are involved in the clothes. In the clothes we wear, from the animals to the humans, making them, sewing them, designing them. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:18 Highlight the passage at 1:05:18

1:05:34 And even those who kind of gently nudge our way of molding what's fashionable or unfashionable, depending on how we want to look at it. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:34 Highlight the passage at 1:05:34

1:05:51 So it influences the clothes we choose to wear, given the image we want to. Give out to others. That depends on the kindness too. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:51 Highlight the passage at 1:05:51

1:06:09 I mean, how many of us just put on clothes for the modesty of covering our body? Report an error in the passage at 1:06:09 Highlight the passage at 1:06:09

1:06:21 I tell you, I'd have it easy though. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:21 Highlight the passage at 1:06:21

1:06:27 Except it's difficult to go out dancing in this uniform. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:27 Highlight the passage at 1:06:27

1:06:35 Our food comes from the kindness of others. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:35 Highlight the passage at 1:06:35

1:06:41 Chickens that lay the eggs, the cows that give their lives, give them milk. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:41 Highlight the passage at 1:06:41

1:06:54 All the different beings involved in all the different plants, harvesting, getting them to the market, getting them to the table, supermarket, all this activity just for our food. In the restaurants, I mean, I think the chefs that really do well are the ones who want to make it nice for others, probably. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:54 Highlight the passage at 1:06:54

1:07:30 I think that's one of the reasons, I mean I'm sure that's part of the reason they succeed, by wanting to benefit others, give somebody a unique taste or a unique experience. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:30 Highlight the passage at 1:07:30

1:07:49 So pretty much you can stretch this to saying almost every material aspect of our lives comes through the kindness of others. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:49 Highlight the passage at 1:07:49

1:07:59 Every emotional aspect of our lives comes from the kindness of others. So physical and mental. Happiness is really derived from the kindness of others. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:59 Highlight the passage at 1:07:59

1:08:31 And even, okay, there's another third part of this, how cherishing others is the only way we make progress on the path to enlightenment. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:31 Highlight the passage at 1:08:31

1:08:45 It's the only way we can practice to get to be a Buddha. We're totally dependent on the kindness of others. To practice generosity, to practice patience, to practice kindness, loving kindness, compassion, all these kind of aspects that are actually going to benefit our minds is dependent upon others. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:45 Highlight the passage at 1:08:45

1:09:05 Just having someone shouting at you is an act of kindness because it can teach you patience, it can teach you compassion. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:05 Highlight the passage at 1:09:05

1:09:20 That person shouting at you actually can be responsible for you to be enlightened. Now that's a far stretch sometimes because even this concept of enlightenment is beyond kind of comprehension. But I think we can kind of at least correlate it to our lives where we make progress on the path to having a happier mind and transforming our mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:20 Highlight the passage at 1:09:20

1:09:48 So we can see the value in that. We cannot transform and change our minds without others. We directly need to have others to be able to do that. So we have to cherish them. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:48 Highlight the passage at 1:09:48

1:10:08 All of our happiness and success comes from others, living beings. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:08 Highlight the passage at 1:10:08

1:10:35 Cherishing and serving even one living being leads us to enlightenment because it purifies so many obscurations and accumulates so much merit. Cherishing even one living being, whether our mother, father, child or even our enemy, enables us to rapidly develop our mind and the path to enlightenment. They are our real teachers. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:35 Highlight the passage at 1:10:35

1:10:53 By showing compassion for even one living being, we can achieve all the realizations of the Mayana path from bodhicitta up to enlightenment. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:53 Highlight the passage at 1:10:53

1:11:05 On the other hand, not cherishing one being, someone who dislikes us, for example, blocks our enlightenment because it blocks the door of the Mayana path, bodhicitta. So this is interesting Report an error in the passage at 1:11:05 Highlight the passage at 1:11:05

1:11:22 because in some ways we definitely need to take this to everyone if we're going to make any progress. You can't love everyone except one, except that person. It's not going to work. And it's really not so much about that person, it's about your mental attitude. That's got to change for your enlightenment. It's not that a person is not so important. What's important is your attitude towards that one person. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:22 Highlight the passage at 1:11:22

1:11:54 The way you're seeing them, the way you're projecting onto them. They're the ones keeping you from, that attitude is what's keeping you from getting enlightened. Not that person. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:54 Highlight the passage at 1:11:54

1:12:13 Those were Lama Zopa's words, by the way, I was quoting. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:13 Highlight the passage at 1:12:13

1:12:31 Okay. I Report an error in the passage at 1:12:31 Highlight the passage at 1:12:31

1:12:43 think... Maybe that's about as far as we want to take it for this week. Next week we'll look on the actual exchange and we'll do this giving and taking Tonglen practice. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:43 Highlight the passage at 1:12:43

1:12:58 So the disadvantages of self-cherishing and the advantages of cherishing others. I didn't stop for a break, I'm sorry, but partly because I was late. I'm trying to make it up. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:58 Highlight the passage at 1:12:58

1:13:20 Any questions? Report an error in the passage at 1:13:20 Highlight the passage at 1:13:20

1:13:25 Is this stuff practical in your own experience? Report an error in the passage at 1:13:25 Highlight the passage at 1:13:25

1:13:34 Okay. Yeah, you have to really, if you're going to make any progress, you just have to bring it down to your own experience. You don't get, I mean, you can't just make lists and memorize words here. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:34 Highlight the passage at 1:13:34

1:13:54 It has to be really experiential. That's where the work that needs to be done is really on. And it's slow. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:54 Highlight the passage at 1:13:54

1:14:07 And it doesn't come without first recognizing and becoming aware and then going back and repeating this stuff over and over and over again. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:07 Highlight the passage at 1:14:07

1:14:20 You know, I mean, one thing is just we learn this stuff, the points, the key points, just to remember them over and over again so they're easy to remember. So when you're in different situations, you can kind of fall back and think, oh, you know, is self-cherishing arising? Report an error in the passage at 1:14:20 Highlight the passage at 1:14:20

1:14:46 And for many of you who did the tick mark thing, it did arise, right? Report an error in the passage at 1:14:46 Highlight the passage at 1:14:46

1:14:59 Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:59 Highlight the passage at 1:14:59

1:15:03 I mean, it's really, really, I mean, it's pervasive, really, this self-cherishing. So it's not going to be eradicated overnight, but I mean, it's just, you know, like even as much as just going in the next room and deciding that I want a glass of orange juice. Now, it's self-cherishing. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:03 Highlight the passage at 1:15:03

1:15:30 It's not entirely bad that I go and have a glass of orange juice now. It's just recognizing that there's self-cherishing behind it. If I have to work on something, that's probably not the most serious one I have to work on. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:30 Highlight the passage at 1:15:30

1:15:51 And there are ways of working on it. One of the things, my bowels give me a lot of protection, quite a bit, actually. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:51 Highlight the passage at 1:15:51

1:16:10 The point though really is to just look very carefully when situations arise. And this next week, Report an error in the passage at 1:16:10 Highlight the passage at 1:16:10

1:16:20 oh poor Joanna. Are you waiting for us to take a break? You can go home. Sorry, I decided not to take a break. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:20 Highlight the passage at 1:16:20

1:16:32 Does anyone want tea? I think we're almost wrapping up. I'm sorry. You could have left an hour ago. Anyway. So cherishing others, no self-cherishing. So becoming aware is the first and then practicing, especially like looking at when you get angry or when you're feeling tight, you know, about something. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:32 Highlight the passage at 1:16:32

1:17:04 Because when you're feeling that tightness, there's self-cherishing there, there really is. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:04 Highlight the passage at 1:17:04

1:17:14 The tightness really is about, I mean, it's true. And you'll notice, I mean, at least me, it's almost like When I don't have self-cherishing, it's like I'm just, that solidity or that's me isn't there. I mean, it's like everything is just kind of going through you. This experience becomes very kind of, yeah, yeah, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:14 Highlight the passage at 1:17:14

1:17:55 Okay. Any questions, thoughts? Report an error in the passage at 1:17:55 Highlight the passage at 1:17:55

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:18:36 That's still related to you and you're the one who can change that. No, no, I agree. It takes time. And it's good to become aware and to notice and to see if you can look at things differently, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:36 Highlight the passage at 1:18:36

1:18:51 It's a leap. Yeah, yeah. I think, you know, I mean, we're all here because we want to work on this stuff, so it's good, you know. And it does have changes. You know, I swear, you know, if you get up every day with the motivation to benefit others. As simple as that, I don't expect you to sit down for a half hour, hour of meditation or do a two hour puja every morning, which some people do. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:51 Highlight the passage at 1:18:51

1:19:22 But if you just got up with the motivation for five minutes and reflected that the purpose of your life is to benefit others, you would find a change in your experience within a matter of months. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:22 Highlight the passage at 1:19:22

1:19:40 I swear that I can guarantee that. If you were really honest about it, you will notice a shift in what you're experiencing. And it's not just so much about your own mental attitude, it's also by what's coming at you, Report an error in the passage at 1:19:40 Highlight the passage at 1:19:40

1:19:58 what situations you're at. Now I will, on the other hand, I do feel like we're in a very volatile period right now. There's a lot coming at us and it's very unsettling. I think this year is going to be a very, very difficult year. I look at the situation to bed. I just look at my personal situation and people, there's a lot of change in the air and things are moving and stuff, but there's a lot of unsettledness. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:58 Highlight the passage at 1:19:58

1:20:29 And I don't think that's going to go away very quickly. I think there's just a lot of that. It's going to be a very unsettling period. So some of this work we're doing might just not necessarily have so many concrete results about changing the situation, but it should give us something to at least absorb some of that. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:29 Highlight the passage at 1:20:29

1:20:49 So, we'll see. Anyway. Homework? Report an error in the passage at 1:20:49 Highlight the passage at 1:20:49

1:21:31 We had a 2,500 word essay on. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:31 Highlight the passage at 1:21:31

1:21:43 Okay. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:43 Highlight the passage at 1:21:43

1:21:50 The next week we're going to talk about giving and taking. So why don't you think about what we want to give and what we want to take. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:50 Highlight the passage at 1:21:50

1:22:01 And make it real. Make it in terms of real people you know, human level, even animals, whatever. And think about it, write about it. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:01 Highlight the passage at 1:22:01

1:22:19 It can be as long or as brief as you want, but please do it. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:19 Highlight the passage at 1:22:19

1:22:29 May all the benefit we have achieved from just taking this time to reflect on the teachings, reflect on our own experience and being able to become aware and think about and look at things from a different perspective. All this is very positive potential and will create cause for change and the happiness of ourselves as well as the happiness of others. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:29 Highlight the passage at 1:22:29

1:22:52 So we can rejoice. We can regret those actions today that have created suffering for others in our own kind of simple way of doing things and not being aware, mindful and wise and compassionate. We have hurt others in some of our actions. So let's regret those and try them. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:52 Highlight the passage at 1:22:52

1:23:18 Moments that come, whether it's the next day or the next week when similar situations arise, to maybe approach it a little bit differently and not to try to react in the same way. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:18 Highlight the passage at 1:23:18

1:23:33 May all of our teachers have long lives. May the world really have a hope for peace, for nonviolence, Report an error in the passage at 1:23:33 Highlight the passage at 1:23:33

1:23:45 loving kindness. May we create a global planet of sustainability where we consume only what's enough. That we can sustain ourselves as a population. Okay, thank you. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:45 Highlight the passage at 1:23:45