Meditation (7 January 2012, morning)

0:01 It's very fuzzy, the sound. I don't know. Hey, David. David, I think it's a little fuzzy. I don't know if it's feedback. That's certainly mine. Report an error in the passage at 0:01 Highlight the passage at 0:01

0:18 should step forward, too, and I seats available. Report an error in the passage at 0:18 Highlight the passage at 0:18

· · · silence, 5 minutes

5:27 No need to stand, it's only a sound check. Report an error in the passage at 5:27 Highlight the passage at 5:27

5:33 Thank you very much. Sibilance. Report an error in the passage at 5:33 Highlight the passage at 5:33

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6:33 Anyway, so it should be coming down in a minute or so. If you notice anyone coming in, direct them to the front because there are a couple of empty seats here and it's easier if you're already here to move forward than it is if you come in late. It's always awkward to have to come in and sit right in the front row. Oh, could you poke that middle button? That's the middle light. Report an error in the passage at 6:33 Highlight the passage at 6:33

6:57 Yeah, the top one. Yeah, yeah, that's nice. So welcome, especially if you haven't been here before. My name is Chucky and this is Seichen Ling and we're going to be talking about compassion. So if you're in the wrong place, this is your chance to leave. Report an error in the passage at 6:57 Highlight the passage at 6:57

7:17 And I'll make some more announcements as the day has gone forth. But we do have a really nice lunch that will be offered at... Report an error in the passage at 7:17 Highlight the passage at 7:17

7:26 I think she'll probably have a morning break, just like we did last night, about halfway through. And then we'll have lunch right around noon-ish. And then it's kind of a nice break there so you can get to know each other and you can also just take a little walk outside too. And then we'll come back together. The afternoon session is at 2, I believe, unless she changes it, in which case she's the leader. Okay. Report an error in the passage at 7:26 Highlight the passage at 7:26

7:51 Anybody need any logistical information? The restroom is... If you are at that front desk, you go left, there's a little hallway, and it's right in that sort of corner area. If you hit the kitchen, you've gone too far. Report an error in the passage at 7:51 Highlight the passage at 7:51

8:06 David, do you want to? So David is a volunteer today, and so he is your guy for answering questions like that. Jessica, how long are you here for? Okay, so Jessica's also there. Christine's done it before, so she can probably answer questions. Carolina lives here, so she definitely knows where the bathroom is. Report an error in the passage at 8:06 Highlight the passage at 8:06

8:27 So those kind of questions these guys can all answer, and I'll be in and out. So I'll go get her. Thank you. Report an error in the passage at 8:27 Highlight the passage at 8:27

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11:52 I thought we could start this morning by doing some meditation. opportunity to have to do it for those who know how to do it and how Report an error in the passage at 11:52 Highlight the passage at 11:52

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11:56 So I think morning is a good time for meditation. Maybe not for everybody, but for some people. Usually the mind is more sort of fresh, alert, awake. So I thought we could do some meditation on what I was talking about last night. Report an error in the passage at 11:56 Highlight the passage at 11:56

12:19 Starting to have more openness towards other people by understanding that they want to be happy. right. Report an error in the passage at 12:19 Highlight the passage at 12:19

12:28 Not suffer in the same way that we do. So contemplating that can help us feel closer to others and help open our mind, our heart to others and start to feel more warm and caring and so on. Report an error in the passage at 12:28 Highlight the passage at 12:28

12:47 And in the Buddhist tradition, we usually recite some prayers before doing meditation. It's not absolutely necessary, but it can help us get into a better state of mind, in case we're not in a good state of mind already. It helps us get into a good state of mind to then start the meditation. So I thought we could recite the Prayer of the Four Measurables, which is on page 34 of the book in front of you. Report an error in the passage at 12:47 Highlight the passage at 12:47

13:27 So let's do it slowly and just pause for a few moments after each line. And then contemplate that particular line and the meaning and see if we can feel it in our mind. Or even just start to feel a little bit more like that, even if we can't fully feel it, but just think. And it's also helpful just to think, oh, I would like to feel that way one day, even if I don't feel that way right now. But to have the aspiration to one day be able to have this particular state of mind needs to be closer. Report an error in the passage at 13:27 Highlight the passage at 13:27

14:05 Yeah, I Report an error in the passage at 14:05 Highlight the passage at 14:05

14:12 can't see the book. Report an error in the passage at 14:12 Highlight the passage at 14:12

14:21 Okay, so we'll read, there's just four lines, and we'll just pause a few moments after each line. May all sentient beings have happiness and the causes of happiness. Report an error in the passage at 14:21 Highlight the passage at 14:21

15:02 May all sentient beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. And Report an error in the passage at 15:02 Highlight the passage at 15:02

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15:42 the third line. May all sentient beings be inseparable from the happiness that is free from suffering. Report an error in the passage at 15:42 Highlight the passage at 15:42

16:17 Fourth line. May all sentient beings abide in equanimity, free from attachment for friends and hatred for enemies. Now Report an error in the passage at 16:17 Highlight the passage at 16:17

16:48 see if you can bring into your mind the thought or motivation that you're here this morning, participating in this session, in order to help your own mind become more familiar with these attitudes. So that you can slowly have more love and compassion and other positive feelings, positive attitudes towards more and more people and living beings. Report an error in the passage at 16:48 Highlight the passage at 16:48

17:20 And you're doing this for yourself to have more happiness and peace, less suffering and problems, but also for others, to be able to help others have more happiness and peace and less suffering. Report an error in the passage at 17:20 Highlight the passage at 17:20

17:38 And if you're comfortable with the idea of enlightenment, becoming enlightened, you can bring that into your mind as well, thinking that you're here in order to get closer to enlightenment, to progress further on the path towards enlightenment so that you can be of benefit to others in the greatest possible way. Report an error in the passage at 17:38 Highlight the passage at 17:38

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18:37 Let's start the meditation by spending about five minutes doing... Mindfulness of breathing. Probably most of you are familiar with this practice. Anyone who's not familiar, I'll just briefly explain it. Report an error in the passage at 18:37 Highlight the passage at 18:37

18:59 We use the breath as an object to focus our mind, our attention, to keep it from wandering all over the place, to keep it in the present, present moment and present place. Report an error in the passage at 18:59 Highlight the passage at 18:59

19:18 So there are different ways you can observe the breath. One way... is pay attention to the sensations around the nostrils or in the upper lip as the breath is coming in and going out of your body. Report an error in the passage at 19:18 Highlight the passage at 19:18

19:37 Another way is to pay attention to the movement of the abdomen. There's a slight movement in and out with each breath. So those are the two most common ways of watching the breath. You can choose one of those. Or if you find another way of watching the breath, being aware of the breath, you can use that. The most important thing is to try to stay with the breath. Report an error in the passage at 19:37 Highlight the passage at 19:37

20:09 Observe each inhalation and each exhalation of the breath and bring the mind back to the breath whenever it wanders away, which is very likely to happen because our mind usually doesn't stay focused on one thing for very long. It has the habit of jumping from one thing to another. So we need to train our mind to stay on just one thing, like the breathing. Report an error in the passage at 20:09 Highlight the passage at 20:09

20:39 So whenever you notice your mind has gone away from the breath to something else, like a thought, memory, thinking about the future, or thinking about people, your home, problems, or being distracted by sounds. Report an error in the passage at 20:39 Highlight the passage at 20:39

21:00 The cars going by, people's voices and so on. So if your mind goes to any other object other than the breath, as soon as you notice that, try to bring it back to the breath. And even if you have to do this again and again, try not to be discouraged. Try to be patient with yourself. Remember, it takes time to change the mind, our habitual tendencies. Report an error in the passage at 21:00 Highlight the passage at 21:00

21:27 So all we can do is try. And it's completely okay to bring the mind back to the breath again and again. To start over again and again. There's nothing wrong with that. And it can also be helpful to count the breaths. This might help you to stay more focused on the breath. The one way of counting is to count each full breath, each inhalation and exhalation as one. So you could even say to yourself, breathing in. Report an error in the passage at 21:27 Highlight the passage at 21:27

21:57 Breathing out one, breathing in, breathing out two and so on. There are other ways of counting. If you know another way, you could use that. Again, the way of counting isn't so important. It's just a tool, an aid to help us stay on the breath. So let's do that for about five minutes. Then we'll move into the meditation on loving kindness. Report an error in the passage at 21:57 Highlight the passage at 21:57

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28:05 To start the meditation on loving kindness, if you can bring to mind a time when you did feel... Feel loving kindness. For example, when you were with someone you care about very much, one of your family members, partner or child or mother or a friend or an animal, a dear pet, Report an error in the passage at 28:05 Highlight the passage at 28:05

28:42 filled with this feeling of caring, warmth towards this other person or this other being. Report an error in the passage at 28:42 Highlight the passage at 28:42

28:52 If you're not able to actually bring it up in your mind, don't worry. Just do what you can. See if you can get in touch. With this feeling of love or loving kindness. Report an error in the passage at 28:52 Highlight the passage at 28:52

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29:42 So the idea in Buddhism as well as other spiritual traditions and religions is to try to feel this way more and more towards more and more people and beings and eventually towards everyone. Report an error in the passage at 29:42 Highlight the passage at 29:42

29:58 So we can do this by making our mind more familiar with this feeling. Report an error in the passage at 29:58 Highlight the passage at 29:58

30:07 It's important that we feel this way towards ourself. Which doesn't always happen. Sometimes people get very angry at themselves and even hate themselves. But if we hate ourselves, then it becomes difficult to really love others. Because when we see in others the same things we hate in ourselves, then we'll also feel anger or hatred towards them. Report an error in the passage at 30:07 Highlight the passage at 30:07

30:44 So one way we can start to feel more love for ourself... Is by acknowledging our wish for happiness. This basic feeling that we have inside, like a little voice inside that says, I just want to be happy. I don't want to be unhappy. I don't want to suffer. I don't want bad things to happen to me. I just want to be happy. Report an error in the passage at 30:44 Highlight the passage at 30:44

31:15 See if you can get in touch with that little voice, that feeling inside of just wanting to be happy. Report an error in the passage at 31:15 Highlight the passage at 31:15

31:44 And don't think it's wrong to feel this way. Some people might think, oh, I shouldn't feel this way. It's selfish. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be happy. What goes wrong sometimes is what we do in order to be happy. Sometimes we do the wrong things that actually make more suffering, more problems for ourselves and others. But just that very basic feeling of wanting to be happy is not wrong. Report an error in the passage at 31:44 Highlight the passage at 31:44

32:20 It's normal, it's natural, and also we should be happy. We deserve to be happy. So see if you can feel that way. I deserve to be happy. Report an error in the passage at 32:20 Highlight the passage at 32:20

32:53 And then see if you can go the next step and wish yourself to be happy. You can even say to yourself, may I be happy? And in case you're still not convinced that this is not selfish, you can think that if I'm not happy, How can I make others happy? Report an error in the passage at 32:53 Highlight the passage at 32:53

33:20 On the other hand, if I'm happy, if my mind, my heart can be filled with real, genuine happiness, then I can make others happy. I can do more for others, be more helpful to others. So it makes more sense to be happy than to be unhappy in terms of being altruistic, being helpful to others, being helpful to the world. Report an error in the passage at 33:20 Highlight the passage at 33:20

33:50 See if you can wish yourself to be happy, not just for your own sake, but for the sake of others and the world. Report an error in the passage at 33:50 Highlight the passage at 33:50

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34:47 See if you can go one more step and make the determination that you will try your best to do the things that will bring you happiness rather than things that bring you unhappiness and make problems for yourself. Report an error in the passage at 34:47 Highlight the passage at 34:47

35:09 That's not always easy to do, but it's good to at least have the wish or the aspiration to do that, to follow the path, to follow the roads that lead to real happiness, genuine happiness and well-being, Report an error in the passage at 35:09 Highlight the passage at 35:09

35:24 to try to make wise choices as to what we do, how we feel, how we think, doing the things that will bring us happiness. See if you can feel some kind of commitment or determination. To do that as much as you can in your life. Report an error in the passage at 35:24 Highlight the passage at 35:24

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36:16 See if we can generate loving kindness for another person. It's advised that we start with people we already have good feelings for. People that are easy to love. So bring to mind someone like that. So it could be a relative, a family member or a friend. Report an error in the passage at 36:16 Highlight the passage at 36:16

36:41 It's recommended not to think of someone towards whom we have. Feelings of lust or sexual feelings, sexual desire. Because then our feelings can get kind of mixed up with attachment. Report an error in the passage at 36:41 Highlight the passage at 36:41

36:59 So better to bring to mind someone like your mother or father or child or dear friend or pet. Just think of one such person or being. Report an error in the passage at 36:59 Highlight the passage at 36:59

37:11 And see if you can have a mental picture of that person. You can either visualize them in front of you. Or just think of where they are right now. Feeling Report an error in the passage at 37:11 Highlight the passage at 37:11

37:41 that mental picture in your mind generates a feeling of loving kindness for this person. So you can start by just thinking how this person wants to be happy, just like you, in their mind, in their heart. They have this feeling, I want to be happy. When Report an error in the passage at 37:41 Highlight the passage at 37:41

38:05 you recognize that, see if you can feel, well, they should be happy. They deserve happiness. Report an error in the passage at 38:05 Highlight the passage at 38:05

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38:41 Take the next step and wish them to have happiness. And you can do this by saying to yourself words like, may you be happy, may you always be happy, may you always have the things you need that will enable you to be happy. Report an error in the passage at 38:41 Highlight the passage at 38:41

39:23 And it's also helpful to think of what those things are. Starting with the most basic things like shelter, a comfortable place to live and food, the kind of food they like to eat. Report an error in the passage at 39:23 Highlight the passage at 39:23

39:41 So the basic necessities of life, wish that the person will always have those. You can even imagine the person receiving those things or imagine yourself giving those things to the person. Report an error in the passage at 39:41 Highlight the passage at 39:41

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40:37 Another source of happiness is Good relationships, good encounters, interactions with other people, with their circle of family, friends, people they work with and so on, neighbors. So wish that their interactions with the people around them, the people they meet and work with every day, will be good ones. Report an error in the passage at 40:37 Highlight the passage at 40:37

41:05 Will be pleasant, enjoyable, satisfying and not painful and conflictive. So wish them to have good encounters with other people. Report an error in the passage at 41:05 Highlight the passage at 41:05

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42:12 Another thing that will enable the person to have real happiness is that their mind internally will be in a good state as much as possible. That they will have positive thoughts, feelings, attitudes, rather than being angry, anxious, depressed and so on. Report an error in the passage at 42:12 Highlight the passage at 42:12

42:38 That for the person, wish that their mind, their thoughts, their feelings will be as positive as possible, as much as possible, enabling them to feel good about themselves, feel happy internally as much as possible. Report an error in the passage at 42:38 Highlight the passage at 42:38

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43:44 Okay, so to conclude the meditation, see if you can feel how nice it would be, how good it would be if you could generate... These kind of thoughts and feelings for more people, gradually working on this over time, including more and more people in your feelings of loving kindness. Report an error in the passage at 43:44 Highlight the passage at 43:44

44:14 So recognize that it takes time to do this, but it's worth doing it. It's a good thing to do and feel the wish, the aspiration to do it more and more. You Report an error in the passage at 44:14 Highlight the passage at 44:14

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44:58 feel ready to end the meditation. You can slowly relax. Sitting position and open your eyes. Report an error in the passage at 44:58 Highlight the passage at 44:58

45:23 So this is one method that can be used to increase feelings of love or loving kindness. Some of you may have done this meditation before, you're familiar with it. Report an error in the passage at 45:23 Highlight the passage at 45:23

45:38 And sometimes the way the meditation is explained or guided is to generate these positive feelings for a whole bunch of people. Like it says in the prayer, may all sentient beings have happiness. So that's a good thing to do, to think of all beings or a very large number of beings, like everybody in San Francisco, everybody in America, everybody in the world. Report an error in the passage at 45:38 Highlight the passage at 45:38

46:10 So like a huge group of people and beings. So that's also a good thing to do. That's also a way of generating loving kindness. But if you do it for just this huge number of beings who are kind of anonymous, you know, like everybody, but there's no kind of specific faces, names, people that you're thinking of, then, yeah, it's more like just like a general feeling of loving kindness for others. Report an error in the passage at 46:10 Highlight the passage at 46:10

46:44 But it's also really nice to do it like this, the way we just did it. We focus on one person. One being and really go into what it means to wish them happiness. What kind of happiness do they need and what do they need to be happy? And just really think of the specific things that will enable them to be happy and then wish the person to have those things. So really spending time on one individual person becomes really powerful. Report an error in the passage at 46:44 Highlight the passage at 46:44

47:15 You get a much stronger feeling of what loving kindness is. So I think it's good to do both ways, to do, you know, for a large number of people, but also for specific people or beings. And it's said that it's good to work on this in a gradual way, starting with people that we find easier to love. You know, the feeling of loving kindness can come more easily. And as we're more familiar with that, we can gradually work on people who are a little more distant from us. Report an error in the passage at 47:15 Highlight the passage at 47:15

47:51 In the Buddhist teachings they talk about three types of people, friends, enemies and strangers. Friends meaning the people we like. It can be our family members as well as our friends. People we find it easy to like, easy to get along with. And then strangers are people, well let's go to enemies, that's easier. Report an error in the passage at 47:51 Highlight the passage at 47:51

48:11 Enemies are the ones we don't like, we have negative feelings for. And then the strangers are in between. People we neither like nor dislike. So our feelings are more sort of neutral or indifferent. So they say start with the friends because it's easier to generate loving kindness. Then, as you're more familiar with the practice, you can move on to strangers, people we're a little more distant from. It doesn't have to be a total stranger. It could be a neighbor or someone at work that you just aren't very, very close to. Report an error in the passage at 48:11 Highlight the passage at 48:11

48:46 So then do the meditation with them, thinking, oh, this person wants to be happy. May they be happy and so forth. Then as we're more familiar with the practice, our feeling of loving kindness becomes more strong, then we can start working on the difficult ones, the so-called enemies. And again, I think it's better not to start with the worst enemy, like someone who has really hurt you a lot or done a lot of really bad things to you, but maybe just start with someone that you have a kind of mild dislike for. Report an error in the passage at 48:46 Highlight the passage at 48:46

49:19 Or you find irritating. So start with that kind of person and then you can gradually move on to the more and more difficult ones. Report an error in the passage at 49:19 Highlight the passage at 49:19

49:31 But yeah, the idea eventually is to be able to feel this way towards everybody, all living beings. And it is possible if we work on it in this way, in a gradual way. Report an error in the passage at 49:31 Highlight the passage at 49:31

49:44 And sometimes people say that when they do this meditation they don't feel anything. They don't feel anything. They don't feel love. Report an error in the passage at 49:44 Highlight the passage at 49:44

49:54 think that's... That's natural because it's a little bit of an artificial situation, especially if you're in a group and somebody's guiding you. Now think this, now feel that. It's not necessarily going to happen. If you're on your own, it might be easier because you're doing it in your own way, in your own time, in your own space, so you might be able to feel something. Report an error in the passage at 49:54 Highlight the passage at 49:54

50:22 I think we shouldn't have the expectation that we are going to feel something. If it happens, great. But if it doesn't happen, don't worry. It's okay. It's enough just to do the meditation and just to say these things to yourself. Think of somebody and think, oh, this person wants to be happy. How nice if they could be happy. May they be happy. Even to just say those words to yourself. Even if this wonderful, warm feeling of love doesn't come up in your mind and overwhelm you. Report an error in the passage at 50:22 Highlight the passage at 50:22

50:51 That's okay. Just to say those words to yourself, to try to have those kind of thoughts and attitudes is already so good. And the more you do the practice, I can guarantee it will start to come. You will actually start to have the feeling. So it's just a question of familiarity, getting more familiar with the practice. And also you don't have to do the practice just like, you know. Report an error in the passage at 50:51 Highlight the passage at 50:51

51:18 Sitting in a meditation position, in a meditation place and so on. You can also do it when you're out and about, at work or walking around or on the bus, whenever you see people. And you can do it in a simple way. You can just say to yourself, when you see somebody, may you be happy, may you be happy. Report an error in the passage at 51:18 Highlight the passage at 51:18

51:44 There's another really good book on this topic called Loving Kindness, The Revolutionary Art of Happiness. By Sharon Salzberg, a Vipassanā teacher. And at one point she mentioned, she kind of told an anecdote. She was once leading a retreat on loving kindness in a city. And during the break, she would ask people to go out and walk around and just meditate, just have these thoughts of loving kindness for the people they saw around them. Report an error in the passage at 51:44 Highlight the passage at 51:44

52:18 And one woman did this. I think she went to something like a train station or a subway station and she was just walking around looking at people and generating the wish for them to be happy. And she saw one man standing and waiting for a train and she kind of didn't have a good feeling about him. She sort of felt some irritation towards him. I guess he looked really nervous and tense. So her initial feeling was a little bit negative. Report an error in the passage at 52:18 Highlight the passage at 52:18

52:52 She tried in her mind to think, may you be happy, may you be happy, and like that. And then after a few minutes, the man came over to her and he said to her something like, I think he said, well, excuse me, but this may sound strange, but I'd like to ask you something. And she said, okay. And he said, can you please pray for me? And then he explained to her something like he was on his way to a job interview or something that was... Report an error in the passage at 52:52 Highlight the passage at 52:52

53:22 Like scary, you know, a scary situation that he was nervous about. And it seems like he must have picked up. He must have picked up on her energy, you know, that she was sending this positive. You don't normally walk up to a total stranger in a train station and say, please pray for me. Report an error in the passage at 53:22 Highlight the passage at 53:22

53:42 So that's kind of an example that shows how this practice is helpful. Even if the feeling, like in her case, you know, it wasn't really... She wasn't really feeling loving kindness for this person, but she was trying. She was saying these words and her real feeling was a little bit negative. So even if we don't really feel loving kindness, just doing the practice can be very helpful, very powerful. Report an error in the passage at 53:42 Highlight the passage at 53:42

54:14 So I think it's good to know that because otherwise some people may feel discouraged. They try to do this practice and they feel like... I don't feel anything. It's not working. This is useless. I think that story shows that it's not useless. Just trying to do the practice is so helpful. Report an error in the passage at 54:14 Highlight the passage at 54:14

54:36 Are there any questions about that? Report an error in the passage at 54:36 Highlight the passage at 54:36

54:48 the train station and that in kindness, certainly in the meditation. I do that about someone I care about... immediately recognize where they have struggled and suffered, and that brings a well of sadness up in me. And that comes into... Sorry. It's for the recording. I think they're making a recording, so they'd like the questions to be recorded as well. Report an error in the passage at 54:48 Highlight the passage at 54:48

55:21 In my meditation as I practice loving kindness or try to practice loving kindness towards a friend, a loved one, I immediately recognize where they have suffered and that brings up A well or volcano of sadness and that cuts into my practice of loving kindness. And how does one work with that? Yeah, that's a good question. This is talking about one of the other of the four measurables, which is compassion. Report an error in the passage at 55:21 Highlight the passage at 55:21

56:05 And I was going to talk about that later. But in general, compassion and love are very close. They're a little bit like two sides of a coin. Love is wishing happiness for others, understanding that everybody wants to be happy and we also want them to be happy. So it sort of focuses more on that aspect of our experience, happiness. We want to be happy. May we be happy. Let's do what we can to make ourselves happy and so on. Report an error in the passage at 56:05 Highlight the passage at 56:05

56:36 Whereas compassion is the wish for others to not suffer. So it's focusing more on unpleasant experiences, painful experiences, unhappiness, suffering, and being aware that nobody wants to suffer. And also nobody should suffer, according to Buddhism. Suffering is like an aberration. It's something wrong there. Report an error in the passage at 56:36 Highlight the passage at 56:36

57:00 So we should try to do what we can to get rid of it, to make it non-existent. So compassion is when we recognize that someone is suffering and are moved by that, touched by that. Like you say, you want them to be free of suffering. So can we wait? And I'll talk about compassion later and what... Compassion is all about. But I mean, this is a really good question. I was thinking about this as well. When you think of a loved one, you want them to be happy and you imagine all the things. Report an error in the passage at 57:00 Highlight the passage at 57:00

57:33 But then the reality is sometimes they're not happy. Sometimes, yeah, painful things happen to them. And probably, I mean, most people, most beings have painful experiences. So if that comes up when you're doing the meditation, I think you could switch to compassion. Do a meditation on compassion and wish that that person's life can change, their mind can change, circumstances can change, things can change, so that those painful experiences they're having gradually disappear from their life. Report an error in the passage at 57:33 Highlight the passage at 57:33

58:10 I wanted to just spend a bit more time talking about love and then move on to compassion. They say that when it comes to the order in which you... You generate these states of mind. Love and compassion can vary. Sometimes you can start with love. Sometimes you can start with compassion. So it's not like a fixed order. But I've also read that it might be better to start with love because if there's already a feeling of love towards another person, then it's easier to feel compassion for them. Report an error in the passage at 58:10 Highlight the passage at 58:10

58:51 Whereas with people we don't love. People we hate, people we're angry at, then instead of compassion we might wish them to suffer. Instead of wishing them to not suffer, we might wish them to suffer. Report an error in the passage at 58:51 Highlight the passage at 58:51

59:07 So then a lack of love could be an obstacle to having real compassion. But generally you can kind of switch back and forth. Report an error in the passage at 59:07 Highlight the passage at 59:07

59:31 Yeah, because I wanted to talk about some things that get in the way of loving kindness, states of mind that block or hinder our ability to generate loving kindness. So maybe before I do that, how about if we take just a short break? And I would like to request you to try to keep silence during the break. It's nice to talk. Report an error in the passage at 59:31 Highlight the passage at 59:31

59:52 It's nice to be with friends and talk. But it can also become somewhat distracting when you start talking about... Other things, then your mind might get distracted from what we're doing here. And you will have a chance to talk at 12 o 'clock when we have the lunch break. Then you can talk all you want for two hours in between bites of food. So just for now, try to keep silence. Report an error in the passage at 59:52 Highlight the passage at 59:52

1:00:16 And the staff may need to talk about some organizational issues. But otherwise, just try to keep silence and just have a few minutes, five minutes break. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:16 Highlight the passage at 1:00:16

· · · silence, 9 minutes

1:09:03 Let's get started again. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:03 Highlight the passage at 1:09:03

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:09:34 So we might be able to recognize that having more love, more loving kindness is a good thing to do. We wish to do it. But we might find it difficult sometimes to do it. And one reason for this is because of other states of mind that block loving kindness. That don't allow us to feel loving kindness. And so it's good to know what those are, recognize them and know what to do about them. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:34 Highlight the passage at 1:09:34

1:10:12 Because there are like antidotes, medicine, just like with our body. When our body gets sick, when you have a headache for example, there are different types of medicine you can take to get rid of a headache. There's other medicine you can take for heartburn and so on. So all the different types of Physical ailments, there are different types of medicines. So in a similar way, when it comes to mental ailments, painful states of mind that can arise, there are different antidotes. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:12 Highlight the passage at 1:10:12

1:10:50 Last night I spoke about a few general antidotes that can be used for any kind of disturbing or negative state of mind. But then there are also specific antidotes that can help with specific states of mind. So I'll talk a little bit about those. So with regard to loving kindness, the main enemy, the main thing that blocks loving kindness is anger or hatred. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:50 Highlight the passage at 1:10:50

1:11:20 And there can be different degrees of anger or hatred. There's like the really strong form that becomes... Violent. You actually want to inflict harm on the person or the being that you're angry at. So that's kind of one extreme of anger, hatred. We probably have some experience of this in our own life and we can see lots of experiences in the world of how people get so consumed with anger or hatred that they kill. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:20 Highlight the passage at 1:11:20

1:11:58 Sometimes they kill many. Many beings at the same time. They do very destructive things, destroying big pieces of land and property and so on. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:58 Highlight the passage at 1:11:58

1:12:14 We talked about this last night, a little bit about anger and hatred and what are the disadvantages or the faults of that particular state of mind. That itself is one kind of remedy or antidote. To anger or hatred. Just by thinking about what are the results, what are the consequences of that state of mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:14 Highlight the passage at 1:12:14

1:12:39 And if you can become convinced that that state of mind leads to suffering, leads to problems, leads to bad results. And if you recognize that's not what you want. Yeah, that's not that's That's not really what I want. I don't really want to make suffering for others. I don't really want to make suffering for myself. Then you can say to yourself, I don't want to go down that road. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:39 Highlight the passage at 1:12:39

1:13:08 I don't want to take that road. I think sometimes people feel they don't have a choice. They may think that if anger comes up in the mind, they have no choice but to go with it, to become angry and act out the anger. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:08 Highlight the passage at 1:13:08

1:13:25 But that's something to question. Is that really true, that we have no choice? Last night we were looking at how it's possible to change the mind and we did a little meditation on that, hopefully recognizing that the mind changes anyway, even without trying to change the mind. The mind does change. So this is something we can see in our experience. There are moments when we feel angry and other times we don't feel angry. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:25 Highlight the passage at 1:13:25

1:13:56 There are times when we feel depressed and other times we feel happy. So we can, just looking at our own experience, we can see that our mind changes. Whatever type of thought or feeling or emotion comes up in our mind is such that it's sometimes there and sometimes not there. So it's just the nature of the mind to change. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:56 Highlight the passage at 1:13:56

1:14:17 Mind is not something fixed, permanent, solid, frozen, always in the same state. So if you can recognize that, That it's possible to change the mind. Then you might be more open to accepting that it's possible to choose which direction you go in when anger comes up in your mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:17 Highlight the passage at 1:14:17

1:14:45 So that's something to think about and check for yourself if that's true or not. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:45 Highlight the passage at 1:14:45

1:14:53 So anyway, according to Buddhism we do have a choice. When we get angry we don't have to go with the anger and become angry and act out the anger. There are other things we can do. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:53 Highlight the passage at 1:14:53

1:15:07 If the anger is really strong, at that moment there may be not a whole lot of choices. You may not be able to sit down and meditate or just suddenly transform your mind into feeling love and compassion. So that may be too much to expect of yourself. But you can at least go away from the situation. You don't have to just keep being there. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:07 Highlight the passage at 1:15:07

1:15:38 with the person you're angry at because that's kind of dangerous as long as you stay in that situation and if the person is yelling at you or abusing you or whatever you know your anger could just get worse and worse and pretty soon you do get to the point of wanting to do something violent but one thing that can be helpful is to just get away from that situation take a break go somewhere else go to the bathroom go get a cup of tea go for a walk When I was a kid they used to say, if you get angry go and chop some wood. And I think it does help, you know, because there's this strong energy. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:38 Highlight the passage at 1:15:38

1:16:16 And if you can put that energy into something that isn't going to hurt another person, chopping wood, beating up a pillow, just going someplace and screaming where you're not going to disturb people. Somebody I knew would go to the beach where there's nobody around and just scream. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:16 Highlight the passage at 1:16:16

1:16:37 Scream at the ocean, scream at the waves. So that's kind of letting go of that very strong energy in a non-harmful way, not causing harm to anybody else. One woman told me in her house, in her family, they had a big stuffed animal, a frog or a turtle or something, a big stuffed animal. So when any family member got angry, they'd go and beat it up. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:37 Highlight the passage at 1:16:37

1:17:06 Thich Nhat Hanh said, that's not... Really the best solution. I mean, at least you're not hurting anybody, but it's not really going to the root of the problem. So I think that after you've kind of cooled down, you've released that really strong energy and you've gotten a bit more calm again, then it's good to sit down. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:06 Highlight the passage at 1:17:06

1:17:30 Give yourself some time and sit down and go back over that situation and look at that situation with a more... Intelligent, discriminative intelligence, wisdom, and try to understand what happened and understand why you got angry. Go to the root of the anger, the root of the problem. And like I said, there's a lot of different meditative techniques you can use to look at the situation in a different way. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:30 Highlight the passage at 1:17:30

1:18:06 Sometimes just by exploring. Your own thoughts, your feelings that led you to be angry. You can discover some things about yourself. You can discover that maybe you made some error. There was some error in your way of thinking, your way of judging that needs to be corrected. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:06 Highlight the passage at 1:18:06

1:18:28 One thing that's helpful with anger, because usually our anger is at another person. We can sometimes get angry at our computer or car. Something like that, inanimate objects, but most of the time it's towards people, beings. And one cause of getting angry is, or one factor contributing to anger, is not really taking into consideration the other person's thoughts, feelings, experiences. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:28 Highlight the passage at 1:18:28

1:18:56 You know, we tend to just get stuck on our own thoughts and feelings and experiences, our own point of view. And like that's the only way of... Report an error in the passage at 1:18:56 Highlight the passage at 1:18:56

1:19:09 And we don't really think about the other person's point of view. Sometimes we don't want to. We don't care. I don't care how you think. I don't care how you feel. This is how I feel. We get really focused on that. So one thing that can be helpful is to try to think about the other person and consider their point of view, where they're coming from, how they feel, how they... Report an error in the passage at 1:19:09 Highlight the passage at 1:19:09

1:19:36 See this situation. Putting yourself, like this saying, putting yourself in the other person's shoes. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. That can be really helpful. Really, really helpful. Sometimes you might see yourself as the other person sees you and you realize, oh, maybe I shouldn't have done that. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:36 Highlight the passage at 1:19:36

1:20:01 Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Maybe I was wrong. Sometimes you can get a lot of insight. know, by doing that... Another thing you might discover is that the other person is suffering. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:01 Highlight the passage at 1:20:01

1:20:18 We can know this by our own experience. Like when there's something going on in our life, if there's some big problem, big crisis, some really painful thing going on in our life, then we can get out of balance. We're not thinking very clearly. We're not making wise choices, judgments and so on. We make mistakes. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:18 Highlight the passage at 1:20:18

1:20:40 Maybe that's what's happening with the other person. Maybe there's some big problem going on in their life. Their mind isn't really in a good state because they're just so distracted. Maybe their kid's in the hospital or their mother's in the hospital or something's happening to their financial situation. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:40 Highlight the passage at 1:20:40

1:20:58 They've just lost a huge amount of money or they lost their job. So consider that possibility. It's good to try to explore that and see if that could be the case. Maybe this person is just in a really disturbed state of mind and that's why they're behaving the way they are, that's annoying you, that you're getting upset about. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:58 Highlight the passage at 1:20:58

1:21:24 So that's one possibility. Another possibility could be something happened earlier in their life. A lot of people have really painful childhoods, really painful family experiences and abusive... A parent or too abusive parents or alcoholic or drug addict parents or maybe they were orphaned or a foster child passed from home to home and so on. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:24 Highlight the passage at 1:21:24

1:21:49 Some people have such painful childhoods and that can lead them to have certain ways of behaving, certain attitudes and so on that aren't maybe so wise and skillful. But if you understand where they're coming from. What their background is. Sometimes that can really change your mind. Instead of feeling angry, hateful or judgmental, you can feel more compassionate. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:49 Highlight the passage at 1:21:49

1:22:20 You want to reach out and help them instead of being angry at them and wanting to hurt them. So this is one thing that can be helpful. Trying to understand the other person. Putting yourself in the other person's shoes. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:20 Highlight the passage at 1:22:20

1:22:39 so... It's possible by doing that you can change your mind from being angry to being compassionate and even if that doesn't happen you might just become more accepting, more patient and accepting of the other person rather than so quick to judge them. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:39 Highlight the passage at 1:22:39

1:23:00 Another thing that's helpful is to mentally separate the person and their annoying behavior or Attitudes, the things about them that you are angry about or hateful towards. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:00 Highlight the passage at 1:23:00

1:23:21 There's a nice quotation I heard from Mother Teresa, this famous nun who lived in Calcutta, where she said, there are no bad people, there are only good people who do bad things. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:21 Highlight the passage at 1:23:21

1:23:39 And so Buddhism says something similar to that, that people and living beings themselves They're not bad. As I mentioned last night, everybody who has a mind has the potential to transform their mind. They have good qualities that can be developed more and more. The negative qualities are not permanent. They can be gradually decreased and eventually eliminated. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:39 Highlight the passage at 1:23:39

1:24:06 And everybody has the potential to become enlightened. So there's nobody who's 100 % bad. It will be bad forever and ever. There's no such thing. Everybody has some good qualities. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:06 Highlight the passage at 1:24:06

1:24:23 So what we do when we get angry at somebody, we tend to just see the person as this one, like a package, you know, a package deal. There's this bad person. They did something bad and then the whole person becomes bad. Everything about them is bad. There's nothing good about them at all. Have you ever noticed that? Report an error in the passage at 1:24:23 Highlight the passage at 1:24:23

1:24:44 That the mind tends to think that way. I think we can project this kind of very negative view on this totally pervading the whole person, sometimes not even the person, sometimes it also extends to their family, their house, their property, everything about them, everything about the person is bad. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:44 Highlight the passage at 1:24:44

1:25:08 Now is that correct? Is that realistic? Is that fair? So I think if we take a step back from that, what our mind is doing and really examine it. Check it. We'll come to see it. No, it's not fair. It's not true. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:08 Highlight the passage at 1:25:08

1:25:30 I found it really helpful. A few years ago, I was attending teachings by His Holiness the Dalai Lama in Hamburg, Germany. And he was teaching a traditional Buddhist text, but every so often he'd start talking about politics because he has a lot of dealings with... Politicians and parliaments and Congress and so on. So he knows a lot of these people. He knows a lot of things that are going on in Europe and America and so on. And one day he started talking about George Bush. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:30 Highlight the passage at 1:25:30

1:26:04 And that was still during the time when George Bush was president. And he said, he said, I like George Bush. I don't like his politics, but I like him as a person. For me, that was so helpful because I... Have a hard time looking at George Bush. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:04 Highlight the passage at 1:26:04

1:26:31 And I also thought to myself, well look, I don't even know the guy. I've never met him. I've never even been in the same place with him. I've only seen his on TV and newspapers and so on. I've never even met him. The Dalai Lama has. They've met. They've sat down and talked together, spent time together. So he is in a better position to know George Bush than me. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:31 Highlight the passage at 1:26:31

1:26:59 Who am I to say George Bush is not a good person and doesn't deserve love and so on? And so that was one thing, you know, to make me really check my mind and my attitude, my view of that particular person. So the Dalai Lama was obviously able to see good things in George Bush. And I don't think he's dishonest or I don't think he has a deluded mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:59 Highlight the passage at 1:26:59

1:27:28 He sees things in a mistaken way. I think he sees things much more clearly than I do. So if he could see good qualities in that person, why can't I? Why am I unable to see good qualities in that person? Especially he has more, you know, he's coming from a more valid basis, having actually met him and talked to him, spent time with him. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:28 Highlight the passage at 1:27:28

1:27:49 So that was helpful. And it was also helpful to hear that comment, I don't like his politics, but I like him as a person. So that shows. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:49 Highlight the passage at 1:27:49

1:28:00 This kind of technique of separating the person and things about them, things they might do, things they might say. So that's really helpful if we can try to do that. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:00 Highlight the passage at 1:28:00

1:28:32 Just to expand on that though, so then where do you go from there? Because this person is... uh, yeah. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:32 Highlight the passage at 1:28:32

1:28:41 Whoever it is, I can see sometimes with somebody I have conflict with at work in particular that they do good things at work. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:41 Highlight the passage at 1:28:41

1:28:52 They seem to have good relationships with others or even with somebody like Bush, but still the actions that they're doing, the way that they're interacting towards me is not very good. they have Report an error in the passage at 1:28:52 Highlight the passage at 1:28:52

1:29:10 Or somebody like Bush, yeah, maybe he's a swell guy, and that's one of the reasons he got elected. People thought they'd want to have a beer with him. But he's still doing all these things that I see as harmful. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:10 Highlight the passage at 1:29:10

1:29:22 So I can separate that, but then what does that do still towards my feelings? Yeah, you can still have an attitude of disapproval of the person's actions and attitudes that are harmful. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:22 Highlight the passage at 1:29:22

1:29:40 So saying, I like the person, the person is a good person, doesn't mean you're condoning. But it doesn't mean you're condoning their actions. So I think His Holiness the Dalai Lama, I'm sure he didn't approve of Bush making war in Iraq and killing all the Iraqi people and all the American soldiers and so on. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:40 Highlight the passage at 1:29:40

1:30:02 So I'm sure he wouldn't approve of that. But he can still see that there are good things in that person. Right, but then what does that do towards your relating to them? How do you work with that in your relating towards them? Report an error in the passage at 1:30:02 Highlight the passage at 1:30:02

1:30:22 Well, there's one thing I find really helpful. There's this verse from a Buddhist text, The Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life, which I think Geshe-la has been teaching here. Yeah, he's probably taught a few times. And one verse in there is very helpful for situations like this. I don't remember the exact words, but it goes something like, what's the use of being unhappy about something if there's a remedy? Report an error in the passage at 1:30:22 Highlight the passage at 1:30:22

1:30:53 And what's the use of being unhappy if there is no remedy? Something like that. This is not an exact quote, but that's the basic idea. So I find it really helpful to use that verse in situations where... You know, I don't like something that's going on. I'm unhappy about something that's going on or I have a problem, you know. I say to myself, okay, is there something that I can do about it? Report an error in the passage at 1:30:53 Highlight the passage at 1:30:53

1:31:17 Can I do something about this situation? Sometimes there is. Sometimes there are things you can do. And so do them. Don't just sit around feeling unhappy and complaining. You know, this is what we often do. You know, we just... By ourselves, thinking all these negative thoughts, or we get together with other people and complain, you know, oh, what a lousy person, what he's doing, da-da-da. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:17 Highlight the passage at 1:31:17

1:31:43 And that doesn't do any good. It just makes us more unhappy, makes other people more unhappy. So if there are things we can do, like if there's a war going on, you don't like the war, you want it to stop, you get involved in some organizations, you, you know, take action to at least try. Try to bring about a change. Try to bring about an end to the war. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:43 Highlight the passage at 1:31:43

1:32:05 So at least you're doing something. You're putting your energy into a positive direction. But you also have to accept that what you do may not work. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:05 Highlight the passage at 1:32:05

1:32:15 It may not work, but at least you're trying. You're trying to do something. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:15 Highlight the passage at 1:32:15

1:32:23 But then on the other hand, there are certain situations where we can't do anything. There's nothing that can be done, nothing that can bring about a change. For example, the weather. Maybe you plan to go... so... Report an error in the passage at 1:32:23 Highlight the passage at 1:32:23

1:32:35 For some kind of outing and you hope the weather will be wonderful, but it rains. Can you do anything about that? Is there anything you can do to change the weather? As far as I know, no. So, yeah, you can change your plans, you can change your attitude, but you can't change this external situation, which you don't like, you don't want. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:35 Highlight the passage at 1:32:35

1:33:02 So in the case of that, where there's nothing that we can do... Then it's better to just accept it. Accept the situation and, yeah, you can change your plans, change your mind. So I think that's a really helpful thing to keep in mind. So like in the situation you're describing where there's somebody, maybe you have a conflict with a particular person, you could use that. You could say, is there anything I can do to try to change this situation? Report an error in the passage at 1:33:02 Highlight the passage at 1:33:02

1:33:32 There may be things you could do. Or at least try to do. They may not be effective, but at least you can try. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:32 Highlight the passage at 1:33:32

1:33:42 For example, you might try to talk to the person, try to sit down, let's talk about this situation, can we improve it, can we make things better? So you might have the willingness to make things better, but the other person may not. The other person might be completely closed to what you say. There's no problem here. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:42 Highlight the passage at 1:33:42

1:33:41 and... Report an error in the passage at 1:33:41 Highlight the passage at 1:33:41

1:34:02 What are you trying to do? You're telling me to change? Who are you to tell me to change? So we may get that kind of reaction. So then it may not work. Our attempts to try to improve the situation may not work. So then it's better to just accept that. Because they say, I find it helpful to think about this, that even the Buddha, the Buddha isn't able to change other people. Report an error in the passage at 1:34:02 Highlight the passage at 1:34:02

1:34:31 And there are stories. From the Buddha's life about certain people that were around the Buddha and in his presence, listening to his teachings. And yet they were so negative, incredibly negative. There was one famous person who was the Buddha's cousin and hated the Buddha, tried to kill the Buddha. So the Buddha wasn't able to change his mind. The Buddha had just nothing but love and compassion for this person. Report an error in the passage at 1:34:31 Highlight the passage at 1:34:31

1:35:00 He wasn't angry and hateful. But he couldn't change this person's mind. So they say, even a Buddha can't change somebody else's mind. Only oneself can change one's own mind. Only the person themselves can change their mind. And so if we try and it doesn't work, we have to just accept that. This is beyond me. I can't do it. But I always think that there's always prayer. Not everybody believes in prayer, but if you do have an openness to prayer, And prayer can be effective, and I have some experiences of that, and I've heard of other people experiencing that as well, that if you pray, pray that the person's mind will change, that things will improve for the better, there's some chance that it may happen. Report an error in the passage at 1:35:00 Highlight the passage at 1:35:00

1:35:49 So there's always that that you could try. So I feel there's never nothing you can do. There's never a situation where you can't do anything. There's absolutely nothing that can be done. So just try your best. And accept whatever the outcome will be. Does that sound reasonable? Yeah. And also I could just extend that I can still not harbor ill will towards this person, or I can work on not. Report an error in the passage at 1:35:49 Highlight the passage at 1:35:49

1:36:24 Yeah, they actually say in the Buddhist teachings that difficult people are like teachers for us. They really give us a chance to see ourselves, to see... How much love and compassion we have, how much patience we have, how much anger we still have that we need to work on. So, you see, we really need people like that in our life. Report an error in the passage at 1:36:24 Highlight the passage at 1:36:24

1:36:48 They help us. Not easy to see that. Maybe later, looking back, you might be able to see, oh, I really learned a lot in that situation. That was really helpful. Yeah. The microphone. Report an error in the passage at 1:36:48 Highlight the passage at 1:36:48

1:37:07 Be grateful for people who go after you and are impossible, which you can relate to work, because that teaches you patience. And in the Dalai Lama's story about George Bush, George Bush probably acted really different around the Dalai Lama than he would. And right now, it seems charming, but it's very different, interacting. Report an error in the passage at 1:37:07 Highlight the passage at 1:37:07

1:37:39 And His Holiness also said, I have heard this, that we need anger. And I sort of figure we need all of our emotions. He said we have to have anger. The thing is to learn to manage it. He said we have to have anger? Yes. How did he say that? Yeah, I think he said it. Report an error in the passage at 1:37:39 Highlight the passage at 1:37:39

1:38:01 What? At Stanford or the Kala Chakra. Pretty recently I heard him say that. So I assume that what we need to do is learn to manage it, moderate it, have it not be destructive. So I have a question. I understand what you said about the mind, but Report an error in the passage at 1:38:01 Highlight the passage at 1:38:01

1:38:32 that everything is temporary, impermanent. So my question is, how do you logically account for karmic seeds going with your consciousness in rebirth? If in fact everything... It's really impermanent and quite quickly changing. Report an error in the passage at 1:38:32 Highlight the passage at 1:38:32

1:39:04 Yeah, this is a good question and a difficult question. In fact, in the study program I'm doing, we came across a section in Chandrakirti's Supplement to the Middle Way. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:04 Highlight the passage at 1:39:04

1:39:27 Actually, it was more Lama Tsongkhapa's commentary to that, where he... Fairly briefly mentioned the different schools, different Buddhist philosophical schools, how they answer this question, how they deal with this problem. You know, that a person in one lifetime does an action and then they change bodies, they die, they go to the next life and in the next life or even in thousands of lives later, they experience a result of that action. Report an error in the passage at 1:39:27 Highlight the passage at 1:39:27

1:39:55 How can you account for that given impermanence, the impermanent nature of things? Report an error in the passage at 1:39:55 Highlight the passage at 1:39:55

1:40:02 But this was about a year and a half ago. I don't remember exactly. I have to go and look up my notes. But each of the Buddhist schools came up with a different kind of solution to that problem. And the Prasangyaka school, which is the one that the Tibetans follow, they came up with an explanation of something called disintegratedness, which I can't, it's really difficult to understand. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:02 Highlight the passage at 1:40:02

1:40:26 I don't even understand it myself. So to try to explain that. I think I would be very hesitant. Maybe you can ask Geshe about it. It's, yeah, disintegratedness. But anyway, yeah, there are different assertions, different proposals to explain that problem. But we have to understand that even though the mind does change moment by moment, we say it changes moment by moment, but it doesn't change absolutely in the sense of becoming something totally different. Report an error in the passage at 1:40:26 Highlight the passage at 1:40:26

1:40:59 They also talk about the continuity of consciousness. It changes moment by moment, but it still remains as a mind. Just like water, for example. Water changes moment by moment, but it doesn't change into stone or wood or fire. It remains as water. So there's some kind of continuity of the same type of phenomena. Although it's changing moment by moment, it still retains... Report an error in the passage at 1:40:59 Highlight the passage at 1:40:59

1:41:29 Certain properties, certain qualities. So it's similar with our mind. Our mind changes moment by moment, but it continues to be mind. It continues to have those qualities, those features of being clear and knowing. So anyway, that's not a very satisfying answer to your question. But I'll try to look up in my notes and see what it said. But that's a tricky question. Report an error in the passage at 1:41:29 Highlight the passage at 1:41:29

1:42:07 Just some other methods for dealing with anger. One method that I think is really helpful is, and this is something I kind of came up with on my own, but based on something I read in a book. I was reading a book about the stages of the path to enlightenment, and I came across the statement that we would not see faults in others if we didn't have those faults in ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 1:42:07 Highlight the passage at 1:42:07

1:42:38 That really hit me. Because I have a very judgmental mind, a very critical mind. I see lots of faults in others, so it's pretty scary to think that I had all those faults myself. Report an error in the passage at 1:42:38 Highlight the passage at 1:42:38

1:42:53 But anyway, I use this method when I'm feeling angry at somebody. And also, anger isn't just this strong, kind of violent feeling. I think it can also include just feelings of dislike. Report an error in the passage at 1:42:53 Highlight the passage at 1:42:53

1:43:11 Irritation, criticalness, judgmentalness. Anytime our mind has a kind of negative way of looking at someone or something, that could be just like a mild form of anger. So I think criticalness and judgmentalness is also a kind of anger. Because it's like you see somebody or you see something in a person that you feel, I don't like that. Report an error in the passage at 1:43:11 Highlight the passage at 1:43:11

1:43:37 It's kind of a rejection, a repulsion. towards that. So, So I don't always use this, but sometimes I do, and it's very effective. When I'm feeling that way towards another person, I ask myself, what exactly is it that I'm reacting to that I don't like, that I'm judgmental about? So I try to pinpoint that. Then I look at myself and ask myself, now is that something in me? Is that something I have, something I do? Report an error in the passage at 1:43:37 Highlight the passage at 1:43:37

1:44:11 experience is I always find it in myself. Although it may not be exactly the same as what I see in the other person. It could be just something similar. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:11 Highlight the passage at 1:44:11

1:44:23 But it's a really helpful method for various reasons. One is because it helps you to see yourself better. Because sometimes we can be blind to things in ourself. There may be some kind of fault there, something that needs to be worked on. But we don't see it. It may be because we've had it all our life. And so we just don't recognize it as a fault. Another reason could be suppression or denial, that we actually have been suppressing that in ourself, denying it, pretending it's not there. Report an error in the passage at 1:44:23 Highlight the passage at 1:44:23

1:45:01 So we might have kind of fooled ourself. We've gotten into a state of mind where we think, I'm not like that. Other people are like that, but not me. Report an error in the passage at 1:45:01 Highlight the passage at 1:45:01

1:45:12 But when we really look carefully and honestly, then we might discover it is there. And it may be there in a form that we don't allow to come out. You know, you might see other people actually acting out that attitude or behavior and you don't act it out. But it doesn't mean it's not there. It could be there and it's just kind of buried, hidden, suppressed. So this is really, it's painful, but it's important. Report an error in the passage at 1:45:12 Highlight the passage at 1:45:12

1:45:43 Because if we really want to develop ourselves, we really want to be a good person, we really want to get enlightened and so on, then we have to recognize, we have to acknowledge the existence of these kind of faults in ourselves. Because otherwise they're not going to go away. They don't go away by themselves. It's only when we recognize them. Oh, that's there in me. Report an error in the passage at 1:45:43 Highlight the passage at 1:45:43

1:46:06 And I need to work on that. And then we can get beyond it. But if we don't see it, we don't recognize it, then it just stays there, stays hidden. So I kind of devised a little method for using this idea. So when you're feeling angry or annoyed or irritated towards somebody, you sit down and try to discover exactly what it is that you feel that way about, what quality, what behavior it is. Report an error in the passage at 1:46:06 Highlight the passage at 1:46:06

1:46:36 Then look into yourself and see if you can find it in yourself. And if you do, find it in yourself. It may take a while. It may not appear immediately. But if you keep looking, you might need to do it a couple of times, maybe a couple of days or a couple of weeks before you discover it. Then if you do discover it in yourself, the next step is to come to an attitude of acceptance. Report an error in the passage at 1:46:36 Highlight the passage at 1:46:36

1:47:08 Accept. Let me finish and then I'll get your question. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:08 Highlight the passage at 1:47:08

1:47:14 Change your attitude of hatred or denial or non-acceptance of this particular thing in yourself. And it may take time, but it's worth doing. Work on cultivating an attitude of acceptance. Now, acceptance doesn't mean condoning. Accepting, for example, that I have anger. Accepting that I have anger doesn't mean saying, oh, it's fine to have anger. I can be angry all I want. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:14 Highlight the passage at 1:47:14

1:47:44 So it doesn't mean that. You can still, like we were talking before about another person, you can accept a person as they are with, say, faulty ways of behaving, faulty attitudes. You don't condone those. You don't agree with those. You still recognize those are harmful, but you can still accept the person and love the person. Report an error in the passage at 1:47:44 Highlight the passage at 1:47:44

1:48:06 So it's similar with ourselves. So we can say, okay, I accept myself as I am. I love myself. I wish myself happiness and so on and so on. But yeah, there's that thing in myself that's not good. It creates problems for myself. It creates problems for other people. I want to work on it. I want to get beyond it. I want to get to enlightenment and be free of that particular quality. Report an error in the passage at 1:48:06 Highlight the passage at 1:48:06

1:48:30 And I know that I can. If I work on it, I can be free of it. you accept that thing in yourself within... An attitude of loving kindness and compassion for yourself, but at the same time recognizing that's something you want to gradually decrease and eventually be free of. Report an error in the passage at 1:48:30 Highlight the passage at 1:48:30

1:48:50 So working on that attitude of acceptance of that particular behavior or attitude in yourself. So if you can do that, the more you can come to accept that thing in yourself, then the more you will be able to accept it in other people rather than being... So angry, hateful, critical, judgmental. So it really helps you to be more patient with other people, more kind with other people. Report an error in the passage at 1:48:50 Highlight the passage at 1:48:50

1:49:20 Does that make sense? I mean, it's a process. It takes time to do this, to work on this, but it really helps. So you learn about yourself. It helps you to work on yourself. And it also helps you deal with other people, especially difficult people, to deal with them. In a healthier way, in a more satisfying way. Report an error in the passage at 1:49:20 Highlight the passage at 1:49:20

1:49:45 yes, it goes back to the work situation in academia. It's very nasty people. It's awful And I learned to do Tonglen at faculty meetings Report an error in the passage at 1:49:45 Highlight the passage at 1:49:45

1:49:59 When somebody's really, you know, I'm really kind of angry. my question is, what is the between Report an error in the passage at 1:49:59 Highlight the passage at 1:49:59

1:50:15 So, for those who are not familiar with... The term tonglen, that means taking and giving and this is a practice in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition which is based on love and compassion. So you ideally you already are familiar with love and compassion and so you meditate on compassion you generate a really genuine feeling of compassion for let's say you're doing this practice tonglen with a So you would contemplate how this person is suffering and you really wish them to be free of suffering and you generate such strong compassion that you wish to take their suffering on yourself, to take their suffering into you. Report an error in the passage at 1:50:15 Highlight the passage at 1:50:15

1:51:04 And there's a whole practice where you can imagine the person suffering coming into you and being the cause for your own Selfishness and your negative attitudes, your negative karma, all the bad things that you have to disappear. And then that's the taking part. And the giving part is based on loving kindness, which is wishing the other person to be happy. So you generate a strong feeling of love, wishing the person to be happy. Report an error in the passage at 1:51:04 Highlight the passage at 1:51:04

1:51:36 And then your love should be so strong that you want to give your happiness to them. So you imagine giving them. Whatever you have, your health, your wealth, your good karma, your good qualities, you give those to the other person and it becomes what they need to be happy. So it's completely related with love and compassion. Report an error in the passage at 1:51:36 Highlight the passage at 1:51:36

1:52:08 And then just loving kindness itself is helpful to deal with anger if you have some familiarity with the practice. I met a young woman who told me that her job involved answering the phone. She was working for American Express in Europe. And so she would answer the phone and deal with clients of American Express who had problems, who were having problems. Report an error in the passage at 1:52:08 Highlight the passage at 1:52:08

1:52:41 And so she said, often when they called, they were angry. And she said when she heard the voice on the other end and picked up, That they were angry. Then it would make her angry. She would get angry in response. And then there would be this kind of angry exchange between her and the other person, which wasn't very helpful or satisfying. Report an error in the passage at 1:52:41 Highlight the passage at 1:52:41

1:53:07 So after learning about this idea of loving kindness, then she tried it out. So if she heard the other person's voice and heard the angry tone in their voice, she would say to herself, heard herself, may you be happy, may you be happy. Report an error in the passage at 1:53:07 Highlight the passage at 1:53:07

1:53:27 And she said that really helped her mind to stay calm, not become angry. So she was able to talk to the other person in a more calm state, you know, more calm voice, more calm state of mind. And she said that would help the other person to calm down as well. When she got angry, it kind of made the other person more angry. When she was able to avoid being angry, then maybe not always, but it would. Report an error in the passage at 1:53:27 Highlight the passage at 1:53:27

1:53:54 Sometimes help the other person to not become more angry and sometimes they would calm down and become less angry. And so then the conversation would be nicer and more satisfying. So that's another kind of example of how, you know, she probably didn't really wish the person to be happy. It wasn't like a genuine feeling of loving kindness, but just saying those words, like somebody was saying last night, faking it till you make it, fake it till you make it, you know, just... Report an error in the passage at 1:53:54 Highlight the passage at 1:53:54

1:54:24 Saying those words, may you be happy, may you be happy, helped her to stay in a more positive state of mind and was also helpful for the other person. Report an error in the passage at 1:54:24 Highlight the passage at 1:54:24

1:54:34 So that's something else you could try. I should have said something. How does, like, Sangye Khadro compared to the Thera Veda, Mettā, I think you're loving kind of meditation? That's the same. Meditation, is it exactly the same? Yeah. Okay. Mettā. Which is the term used in the Theravāda tradition. That's the Pāli language. Pāli term for loving kindness. And in Sanskrit it's Maitri. Report an error in the passage at 1:54:34 Highlight the passage at 1:54:34

1:55:09 Sanskrit and Pāli seem quite similar. So Maitri. And then we translate that into English as loving kindness. And if you're interested in the Tibetan, it's Jampa. Report an error in the passage at 1:55:09 Highlight the passage at 1:55:09

1:55:21 So all those terms are referring to the same state of mind. Loving kindness. And there's a beautiful sūtra. I have it here in the book. I got it off the internet. It's wonderful what you can get on the internet. So in this book, right at the beginning, it's not even a page number, but anyway, towards the beginning is the Mettā Sūtra. Report an error in the passage at 1:55:21 Highlight the passage at 1:55:21

1:55:46 Mettā Sūtra. The Sūtra, or Buddha's words on loving kindness. So there you can read what the Buddha actually said about loving kindness. Or you can also Google it and find it on the internet if you don't have it. book. Report an error in the passage at 1:55:46 Highlight the passage at 1:55:46

1:56:02 It's a beautiful practice. And what I heard was the origin of this particular teaching, this sūtra, was that at the time of the Buddha, the Buddha and his followers were just living in the forest, just out in the open. Report an error in the passage at 1:56:02 Highlight the passage at 1:56:02

1:56:25 Sometimes they didn't even have a shelter, a roof over their head. They were just living out in the forest under the trees. And exposed to all kinds of things. The weather, of course, but also beings. And sometimes there'd be scary beings, you know, like wild animals. Elephants, tigers, snakes and insects and sometimes robbers or harmful beings. Report an error in the passage at 1:56:25 Highlight the passage at 1:56:25

1:56:53 And so some of the monks were a little nervous about this, just sitting out in the forest and being exposed to that. And so the Buddha gave them this practice of loving kindness, meditating on loving kindness for other beings. And it's said to be an actual kind of protection. It protects you. If you really generate this feeling of loving kindness for others, it's a protection for yourself. Report an error in the passage at 1:56:53 Highlight the passage at 1:56:53

1:57:21 You're less likely to be harmed by others. And I've even heard some amazing stories. I heard a story about one modern day meditator, or maybe in the... You know, last century or so. In Thailand, a monk who would live in a cave, he was living in a cave and meditating in a cave, and he shared his cave with a tiger. Report an error in the passage at 1:57:21 Highlight the passage at 1:57:21

1:57:44 Can you imagine sharing your room with a tiger? Not in a cage, but just... I think I'd have a hard time meditating. Report an error in the passage at 1:57:44 Highlight the passage at 1:57:44

1:58:02 But never got harmed. It was never harmed. Report an error in the passage at 1:58:02 Highlight the passage at 1:58:02

1:58:07 So, and there's another story, I think it's in Alan, there's another nice book about the four measurables by Alan Wallace and he tells the story of one Tibetan monk, Tibetan meditator who was living in a little hut in the jungle somewhere in India and he was sharing his hut with cobras. There was a cobra under the bed and a cobra, you know, by the door. It was completely okay, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:58:07 Highlight the passage at 1:58:07

1:58:35 I'm comfortable with these cobras in his house. He said, I just have to be careful when I get out of bed. Report an error in the passage at 1:58:35 Highlight the passage at 1:58:35

1:58:53 So if we generate this feeling of love and compassion, kindness towards other beings, it makes sense actually logically. Others will feel comfortable. Because one reason why others may become harmful and aggressive towards us is if they feel... An aggressive energy from us. If we're putting out some kind of negative aggressive energy, then that sort of ignites that same kind of energy in them. Report an error in the passage at 1:58:53 Highlight the passage at 1:58:53

1:59:21 Whereas if the energy you're putting out is very warm and gentle and loving and caring, then they feel relaxed. They feel more relaxed in your presence and less likely. I mean, I don't know if it works in 100 % of the cases, I'm not sure, but I think it reduces the chances of others. Being aggressive towards you. Report an error in the passage at 1:59:21 Highlight the passage at 1:59:21

1:59:45 It's worth a try, anyway. Report an error in the passage at 1:59:45 Highlight the passage at 1:59:45

1:59:52 When I was in Singapore, one friend told me that he... In Singapore, you hear lots of stories about ghosts and spirits, all throughout Asia, in fact. And also here. There's lots of stories about haunted houses and spirits and so on. A lot of people don't believe in such things, but there are people who do. Report an error in the passage at 1:59:52 Highlight the passage at 1:59:52

2:00:15 So this friend... I had a friend, a woman, who was chronically bothered by a spirit. It had been going on for many years. There was some spirit who was bothering her, and she tried all kinds of ways of getting rid of the spirit, protecting herself from the spirit, and nothing worked. It kept bothering her. So one day he said to her, well, have you tried mettā? Have you tried loving kindness meditation? So she hadn't tried that. Report an error in the passage at 2:00:15 Highlight the passage at 2:00:15

2:00:47 So he told her how to do it, and so she started meditating on loving kindness for the spirit. And it worked. It stopped bothering her. Report an error in the passage at 2:00:47 Highlight the passage at 2:00:47

2:00:58 So anyway, there are lots of stories like that, that loving kindness can be very helpful. So the difficult people in your life, you may not have spirits or ghosts bothering you, but there may be difficult neighbors, people at work. So it could be helpful to try working on loving kindness for them, putting out more. Report an error in the passage at 2:00:58 Highlight the passage at 2:00:58

2:01:18 Loving energy. Report an error in the passage at 2:01:18 Highlight the passage at 2:01:18

2:01:25 So we sort of come to the end of this period of time. It's lunchtime. Any last questions before we close? I Report an error in the passage at 2:01:25 Highlight the passage at 2:01:25

2:01:40 have a feeling there was something else I wanted to say and it kind of slipped out of my mind so I don't come back. Report an error in the passage at 2:01:40 Highlight the passage at 2:01:40

2:01:54 Microphone? Report an error in the passage at 2:01:54 Highlight the passage at 2:01:54

2:02:01 I guess just that often we become angry because we're not getting what we want and I would imagine recognizing that can be helpful as well. Yeah, actually, according to Buddhism, the root of all of our negative emotions, like anger, is our ego, our sense of self and I and being overly attached to ourself and our wishes and needs and our point of view. Report an error in the passage at 2:02:01 Highlight the passage at 2:02:01

2:02:30 And so the stronger we have attachment to that, the more likely we are to get angry and react in an angry way with others. So that's another... A method for working on anger is to just look at that, look at that, what's going on in your mind and ask yourself if maybe you're excessively concerned about yourself. Report an error in the passage at 2:02:30 Highlight the passage at 2:02:30

2:02:52 And also in addition to this sort of obsession with ourself, we also tend to have our own ideas about what's right, what's wrong, what's good, what's bad. You know, a whole long list of likes and dislikes and do's and don'ts. And then we tend to judge other people from that point of view. Yeah? We put people into categories. This is a good person, this is a bad person, based on what we think is good and bad. Report an error in the passage at 2:02:52 Highlight the passage at 2:02:52

2:03:22 And so that's something else that's helpful to look at. Report an error in the passage at 2:03:22 Highlight the passage at 2:03:22

2:03:32 Like, for example, I was here in San Francisco. It was probably the last time I was here. When did the Iraq War start? Was that five years ago? 2001. Huh? 2002. Report an error in the passage at 2:03:32 Highlight the passage at 2:03:32

2:03:46 Okay, anyway, I don't remember. But anyway, I was here at that time. And supposedly, you know, the President and Congress and all were debating whether or not they should go to war. And there were a lot of people working very hard to prevent that from happening. So some of us went for demonstrations in front of the federal building and so on. Report an error in the passage at 2:03:46 Highlight the passage at 2:03:46

2:04:15 And I was quite concerned. I was reading the newspapers, keeping up with what was going on and really, really hoping that they wouldn't go down that road. Report an error in the passage at 2:04:15 Highlight the passage at 2:04:15

2:04:25 But then they did. And I was quite upset. Angry. I was angry. I was angry at Bush and the government and all these people who thought going to war was a good idea. And so I tried this technique I was just talking about. of the Report an error in the passage at 2:04:25 Highlight the passage at 2:04:25

2:04:45 See if you have in yourself what you don't like in the other person. So I did that with George Bush. And what I came up with was what I was angry about was this kind of, what I saw as a kind of stubbornness. You know, like I know what's right and I'm going to do it and I don't care what anybody else says. And I can see that in myself. I have that. Report an error in the passage at 2:04:45 Highlight the passage at 2:04:45

2:05:10 You know, I get so caught up in my own ideas about... What's right, what's wrong, what's good, what's bad. And I try to, you know, make those happen, regardless of how they affect other people. So I could see that kind of stubbornness in myself as well. So that helped me to be a little bit more patient and accepting. And then I also imagine, now what if I was the president? Report an error in the passage at 2:05:10 Highlight the passage at 2:05:10

2:05:37 What if I was in the position of George Bush and I could do what I wanted? And I said, no, we're not going to go to war. We're not going to do it that way. What would happen? I thought there would probably be millions of people who would be very angry at me. I don't know if that's true or not, but there were a lot of people. It wasn't just Bush himself, but there were a lot of other people in his cabinet and advisors and so on, and also in the country. Report an error in the passage at 2:05:37 Highlight the passage at 2:05:37

2:06:07 A lot of people who really believed that was the right thing to do. So that was helpful, too, to realize that... Even if I did what I wanted, I got my way, it wouldn't make everybody happy. And also I ask myself, well, do I really know what is the right thing to do? It's difficult sometimes to know. You might think my way is the right way, this is the right thing to do, but it's hard to know that. I mean, I don't know. Report an error in the passage at 2:06:07 Highlight the passage at 2:06:07

2:06:37 Anyway, it's just helpful to think about that. And how Report an error in the passage at 2:06:37 Highlight the passage at 2:06:37

2:06:46 did I get talking about that? Report an error in the passage at 2:06:46 Highlight the passage at 2:06:46

2:06:54 I guess, yeah, the point is... You can never make everybody happy. Even the Buddha wasn't able to make everybody happy. The Buddha said things, taught things, made decisions, made rules. Some people were happy with what he did and what he said, but he also got a lot of criticism. There were people who criticized him, who thought he was a bad person, who didn't agree with him, challenged him. Report an error in the passage at 2:06:54 Highlight the passage at 2:06:54

2:07:22 So even if you're a Buddha, even if you're an enlightened being, you have... Only wisdom and good qualities and no delusions and no mistakes. You know, you're still going to get people being unhappy with you and criticizing you. The Dalai Lama is the same. He doesn't make everybody happy. People criticize him, people challenge him, don't like him, don't follow what he says. Report an error in the passage at 2:07:22 Highlight the passage at 2:07:22

2:07:48 So, I don't know, for me that's helpful to think that even if I follow my heart and do what I think is right and what I think is good, Report an error in the passage at 2:07:48 Highlight the passage at 2:07:48

2:07:59 There may be other people who don't agree, who might dislike and criticize. I'm not going to make everybody happy. That doesn't mean we shouldn't follow our heart. I'm not saying that then we should follow what other people say. But just to realize that no matter what you do, if you think everyone's going to be happy with you and what you do, that's not realistic. Report an error in the passage at 2:07:59 Highlight the passage at 2:07:59

2:08:28 But we still need to use... Our heart, our compassion, our love, our wisdom, to whatever extent we understand what is good, what is right, and try to follow that, but still, you know, we may run into problems and obstacles. Report an error in the passage at 2:08:28 Highlight the passage at 2:08:28

2:08:44 So we can only try, we can only do our best, try our best, but don't expect everyone's going to applaud you and love you. Report an error in the passage at 2:08:44 Highlight the passage at 2:08:44

2:08:56 Okay, so let's stop there, and let's just take a few moments to... Mentally dedicate what we've done so far today, coming together, spending this time looking at these teachings on how to have more love, more compassion, more positive states of mind, how to have less anger and other negative states of mind. Report an error in the passage at 2:08:56 Highlight the passage at 2:08:56

2:09:21 So see if you can feel good about what we've done, about spending the time doing this. That it's something beneficial for ourselves and for others. Report an error in the passage at 2:09:21 Highlight the passage at 2:09:21

2:09:42 Feel confident that we have created some positive energy during this time. Report an error in the passage at 2:09:42 Highlight the passage at 2:09:42

2:09:52 And then see if you can wish that this positive energy will bring about more peace, happiness, more positive experiences for as many other people and beings as possible. May it help all beings. To have less anger, hatred, selfishness and other negative states of mind and to have more love and compassion and positive states of mind so that they treat each other in a better way, treat each other with kindness, help each other, not harm each other, more Report an error in the passage at 2:09:52 Highlight the passage at 2:09:52

2:10:41 peace, less war, violence, conflict. Report an error in the passage at 2:10:41 Highlight the passage at 2:10:41

2:10:50 Also that this positive energy will help all of us progress along the path. Towards enlightenment, to get closer to enlightenment. Report an error in the passage at 2:10:50 Highlight the passage at 2:10:50

· · · silence, 1 minute

2:11:31 Okay, so thank you. And we have a break now. There's lunch. And we'll meet again at 2. Report an error in the passage at 2:11:31 Highlight the passage at 2:11:31

2:11:51 really do, yeah. really do. Report an error in the passage at 2:11:51 Highlight the passage at 2:11:51

2:12:24 Thank Report an error in the passage at 2:12:24 Highlight the passage at 2:12:24

2:12:45 you. Go ahead and start with corporate. Report an error in the passage at 2:12:45 Highlight the passage at 2:12:45

2:13:00 my God. Report an error in the passage at 2:13:00 Highlight the passage at 2:13:00