The Historical-Political Rise of Silent Illumination, Shikantaza, and the Embodied Experiencing of this Practice

0:00 This podcast is offered by San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Report an error in the passage at 0:00 Highlight the passage at 0:00

0:13 How's everyone doing? Okay. Is this a little too loud? Move up one more. Okay. Is this okay? I'd Report an error in the passage at 0:13 Highlight the passage at 0:13

0:30 like to thank Reverend Chiu for inviting me here and Reverend Tenzin the abbot for his hospitality. We had tea this afternoon, and thank you all for coming. Report an error in the passage at 0:30 Highlight the passage at 0:30

0:54 So it just so happens that there's a board meeting, a very important one. So both of them are not here, which means I can say whatever I want. Report an error in the passage at 0:54 Highlight the passage at 0:54

1:09 Usually, I don't really prepare for short dharma talks, and I like interaction. So I'm going to leave. Hopefully, maybe 20 minutes of interaction for Q &A. Report an error in the passage at 1:09 Highlight the passage at 1:09

1:30 So that leaves me 20 minutes of talk. So what would you all like to hear? Report an error in the passage at 1:30 Highlight the passage at 1:30

1:46 Let me get a show of hands, maybe. How many of you practice as your primary method? Shikantaza, just sitting. Raise your hand. Report an error in the passage at 1:46 Highlight the passage at 1:46

1:58 And maybe working with the breath. Raise your hand. Report an error in the passage at 1:58 Highlight the passage at 1:58

2:09 Good. Report an error in the passage at 2:09 Highlight the passage at 2:09

2:26 Would you like to hear a little bit about silent illumination? How Report an error in the passage at 2:26 Highlight the passage at 2:26

2:37 many of you have never heard the word silent illumination? So Report an error in the passage at 2:37 Highlight the passage at 2:37

2:46 silent illumination is the precursor to the practice of just sitting. So I Report an error in the passage at 2:46 Highlight the passage at 2:46

3:02 usually introduce silent illumination as a kind of poetic way of expressing the essence and function of awakening in Report an error in the passage at 3:02 Highlight the passage at 3:02

3:19 activity. Report an error in the passage at 3:19 Highlight the passage at 3:19

3:24 Whereas Shikantaza, just sitting, is a description of what happens when one is seated in meditation. In principle, these two are not so different. But Report an error in the passage at 3:24 Highlight the passage at 3:24

3:54 in the Chan tradition, the way we express silent illumination as a practice varies Report an error in the passage at 3:54 Highlight the passage at 3:54

4:10 according to different teachers. Report an error in the passage at 4:10 Highlight the passage at 4:10

4:16 So, because Report an error in the passage at 4:16 Highlight the passage at 4:16

4:21 in truth, silent illumination is really not a method of practice. Report an error in the passage at 4:21 Highlight the passage at 4:21

4:30 It's just a poetic way by Chant Master Hong Chi, who is attributed to coming up with this name, to articulate awakening and how that is expressed in daily interaction with people, with life. Report an error in the passage at 4:30 Highlight the passage at 4:30

4:55 Whereas the practice, we Report an error in the passage at 4:55 Highlight the passage at 4:55

5:00 have very little Descriptions of what one is actually doing in seated meditation by that time. Why is that? Because Buddhism has already existed for over a thousand years by that time. No Chan master is actually giving instructions on how to do basic things like seated meditation. It's already a given. Everyone already knows. Report an error in the passage at 5:00 Highlight the passage at 5:00

5:30 So the situation is a little different. It's a little different in Japan, which Report an error in the passage at 5:30 Highlight the passage at 5:30

5:47 called for a re-emphasis of the embodied experiencing of seated meditation practice by Dogen in that context. So he kind of singled out this emphasis in contradistinction to what the practices or lack of practices the monastics were doing. In Japan at that time, Buddhism has also been in Japan for hundreds of years by that time. Report an error in the passage at 5:47 Highlight the passage at 5:47

6:38 But in Japan, it's different than China. Buddhism in Japan has always existed as a theocratic tradition in which the politics and religion are merged as one. So the powerful monastic institutions were closely tied to aristocracy. Report an error in the passage at 6:38 Highlight the passage at 6:38

7:05 It was a way to Report an error in the passage at 7:05 Highlight the passage at 7:05

7:10 circumvent centralized power to impact regionally different areas of Japan, especially during that time. Diffuse centralized power, the rise of local regions, monastic tradition, powerful, powerful, Report an error in the passage at 7:10 Highlight the passage at 7:10

7:44 regional, powerful institutions. were closely tied with the Report an error in the passage at 7:44 Highlight the passage at 7:44

7:56 aristocracy because the monastics themselves were part of the aristocracy. They were no, in a sense, kind of checking point on these powerful institutions. Whereas in China, Buddhism's continually being persecuted by the central government. Report an error in the passage at 7:56 Highlight the passage at 7:56

8:26 So, but in Japan, it was tied. So, because of this close connection, and Great Master Dogen was trying to move away from, you could say, corrupt, powerful monastic institution, which, by the way, had their own militia. Report an error in the passage at 8:26 Highlight the passage at 8:26

8:52 You can't possibly protect aristocracy like the ex-prince without protection in a monastery. So the monastery developed their own militia, monastic militia. It's called Soheng. Report an error in the passage at 8:52 Highlight the passage at 8:52

9:12 Were they monastics? Yes. But it's questionable why they were there. They're basically soldiers. So Dogen decided to move out to the countryside where no one really wanted to be there to reinsert the importance of practice as opposed to... Climbing up the ladder of success, competition, competing, vying for power. Because if you're not in the centralized government, another way to climb up the ladder of success was through monastic ties, to be the local regent, abbot, and so on. Report an error in the passage at 9:12 Highlight the passage at 9:12

9:57 Does that make sense? So, I mean, he could have articulated this as silent illumination, but in that political context, It's too poetic. You need to re-emphasize the actual embodiment of practice. So just sitting, as opposed to getting involved in all kinds of bureaucracy and stuff like that. So in Report an error in the passage at 9:57 Highlight the passage at 9:57

10:38 the poetry of Hongzhi Zhenjue, his audience were very familiar already with the practice of meditation, the doctrinal teachings himself. Very familiar with Tiantai and Huayan traditions of Chinese Buddhist doctrine. So Report an error in the passage at 10:38 Highlight the passage at 10:38

11:04 his way of articulating this practice and awakening in a very poetic way in what is seen and what is heard in the monasteries, what is readily accessible, those allusions to... Nature and so on, this is what was readily accessible to people, was a way to bring the Dharma, the doctrine down from the clouds to the everyday experience of people. Report an error in the passage at 11:04 Highlight the passage at 11:04

11:41 So hence, it made sense in that context. Instead of using Buddhist jargon, you made allusion to the moon, the limpet. Transparent lake to the snow-clad mountains and different creatures. Report an error in the passage at 11:41 Highlight the passage at 11:41

12:12 Those were what was seen and heard and experienced by the everyday monastics, its audience. Report an error in the passage at 12:12 Highlight the passage at 12:12

12:25 So in the tradition of silent illumination, there is no clear step-by-step instruction of how to do meditation because basically everyone... teachers, this was... Report an error in the passage at 12:25 Highlight the passage at 12:25

12:34 I already know how to do that. His audience was monastics. And Report an error in the passage at 12:34 Highlight the passage at 12:34

12:45 also, his strong emphasis in grounding, Report an error in the passage at 12:45 Highlight the passage at 12:45

13:02 embodying the practice was very particular in that context, historical moment of what? Just like what Dogen was doing, moving away from bureaucracy, corruption, just focus on practice in a very explicit way. Report an error in the passage at 13:02 Highlight the passage at 13:02

13:28 Hongzhi lived through the transition of the fall of a whole half of a dynasty. The Song dynasty was split into two. So the Jurchens invaded Song. So if you would imagine Canada, not that it's ever going to happen, but who knows, invades America and took... From Kentucky onwards, everything becomes Canada. So political upheaval, Report an error in the passage at 13:28 Highlight the passage at 13:28

14:11 a kind of inward turn, because Song was so powerful as one of the longer reigns in the Chinese dynasty, so Report an error in the passage at 14:11 Highlight the passage at 14:11

14:33 self-confident in its maritime trade. power and flourishing of culture and maybe a little too much of that and the military weakness of the fall of the Song dynasty half of it conquered by the Jurchens up north so the whole nation if we can call it that was Report an error in the passage at 14:33 Highlight the passage at 14:33

15:05 at the period of this inward turn to regain one's identity As a nation, practice, and throughout Buddhist history, whenever, especially in China, in East Asia, whenever they are, because in China, there's just basically periodic persecution of Buddhism. When the Buddhist institution becomes too powerful, then the Confucian ideologue, the official, would Report an error in the passage at 15:05 Highlight the passage at 15:05

15:47 influence the emperor to persecute Buddhism, confiscate. Monasteries, wealth, and so on. Whenever that happens throughout history in China, there's always been this inward turn. So Hongzhi focused on that, to ground everyone, you see, to turn inward, to solidify one's practice. Report an error in the passage at 15:47 Highlight the passage at 15:47

16:15 There were monks who also were politically involved, like his contemporary Ah Hui. The greatest advocator of Huatou practice, Kowan practice. He was pro-war to fight the Jurchens because he was a political high-profile child master tied to the pro-war faction in the government. Report an error in the passage at 16:15 Highlight the passage at 16:15

16:49 What happened to him was forced Report an error in the passage at 16:49 Highlight the passage at 16:49

16:56 to return to lay life for 14 years. But the Report an error in the passage at 16:56 Highlight the passage at 16:56

17:07 government didn't want to fight. The churches. History is very complicated. So you have these two. So Da Hui's criticism of the Cao Dong tradition, Soto Zen as pacifist, should be taken in this political context. Does that make sense? So it's not that inherently the practice is pacifist. Because even Da Hui's own teacher, The person who compiled the Blue Cliff Record have an article out. I have an article that's been out for a couple of years. Report an error in the passage at 17:07 Highlight the passage at 17:07

17:49 Applicated to practice like a withered log. These are the words that so-called Linji or Rinzai tradition criticized the Cao Dong tradition. Practice like a withered log, like an incense burner at a dilapidated temple. Report an error in the passage at 17:49 Highlight the passage at 17:49

18:15 Basically inactive, right? So he himself, this is his words, Da Hui's own teacher. Of course, that was another period. So this kind of language is a shared kind of Chan rhetoric, if you will, for how to deal with vexations, how to deal with vexations, the things that come up in practice. Report an error in the passage at 18:15 Highlight the passage at 18:15

18:46 You don't suppress, you don't follow either with their log. Report an error in the passage at 18:46 Highlight the passage at 18:46

18:58 No reactivity. Other Chan masters, like Chan master Ling Ji, Ring's Eye, his teaching was, be an idiot. When these things come up, be an idiot. Other Chan masters who are more lively, like Yun Man, Ung Man, he says, every day is a good day. His personality is like that. Difficulty come, it's all good, basically. Report an error in the passage at 18:58 Highlight the passage at 18:58

19:34 Other Chan masters, you can see how they teach. This was a shared tradition. And when Da Hui kind of twisted it a little bit to use it to critique the pacifists who weren't, who Report an error in the passage at 19:34 Highlight the passage at 19:34

19:55 were not politically involved and not want to win back the Northern Song Dynasty again. So all that context. Because of Report an error in the passage at 19:55 Highlight the passage at 19:55

20:10 our modern age, The lack of explicit instruction on silent illumination, the way I teach silent illumination, because most people live in the headspace. So I train people to practice in an embodied way what is actually present in this time. Report an error in the passage at 20:10 Highlight the passage at 20:10

20:47 So for example, so I create, out of expedient means, several steps to articulate. The practice of just sitting. Like all of you sitting here, how do you know you're sitting? Report an error in the passage at 20:47 Highlight the passage at 20:47

21:09 How do you know you're sitting? Don't go to the head. Don't go to discursive words and language. You know you're sitting because embodied. Report an error in the passage at 21:09 Highlight the passage at 21:09

21:23 So after I teach people to do relaxation, palpable, concretely, three main areas to relax. This area, what the... Westerners. Westerners call it the 11 line, especially the cosmetic field, they call it the 11 line. This area is number one, area to relax. Second, shoulders. Third, the abdomen. If these three areas are not relaxed palpably, then your energy, your tension will be locked in these different regions. Report an error in the passage at 21:23 Highlight the passage at 21:23

22:06 You won't be able to. Feel grounded. Your center of gravity, even when you close your eyes, where is the center of gravity? It's probably still here. It won't be grounded to earth. See? So these three areas, very important to relax. Once a person is relaxed, then one's feeling tone, the undercurrent feeling tone, will be able to be in the most ideal place. Report an error in the passage at 22:06 Highlight the passage at 22:06

22:41 In the Chan tradition, We say, don't grasp, don't reject. But how I phrase it is, content. What does it mean to not grasp, not reject? Report an error in the passage at 22:41 Highlight the passage at 22:41

22:55 Apathetically, Buddhist lingo tends to be always negative. Don't do this, don't do that. Things are impermanent. Everything is empty. Don't grasp, don't reject. But put it positively, cataphatically, what it actually means is, it's all good. You're content. So you have to be in this frame of mind or this feeling tone because it is the feeling tone that actually dictates your perception and your experiences. Report an error in the passage at 22:55 Highlight the passage at 22:55

23:28 It can hijack whatever you think is the correct view. If the feeling tone is one of agitation, you can use that correct view to start to judge other people or worse, to judge yourself. To make yourself into an object and attack it. I'm not good enough. I'm not enough. All this kind of inner critic. So it's actually the feeling tone. So once a person is relaxed, we can check into the feeling tone. Allow this feeling tone to resonate. Report an error in the passage at 23:28 Highlight the passage at 23:28

24:05 Once the body is grounded, you'll feel content. And then, avail oneself to what is actually happening in this moment. So the first stage I teach people to do Shikantaza is now the center of gravity is down, low. Report an error in the passage at 24:05 Highlight the passage at 24:05

24:29 I don't tell people to put it in the heart, Dan Tian, because this leads to side effects, especially when there's no instructions on relaxation. So the body is tense and they're trying to breathe here, all kinds of side effects. Report an error in the passage at 24:29 Highlight the passage at 24:29

24:50 You see what I'm saying? So I tell them to put those sense of weight at the buttocks, just down here. So relax, ground, content, engage with clarity. In what? First stage, embodied experiencing of posture. Because at that time, your posture is still present. Your posture is still here. Once the body is... Report an error in the passage at 24:50 Highlight the passage at 24:50

25:23 More relaxed, even more grounded, the Report an error in the passage at 25:23 Highlight the passage at 25:23

25:34 body becomes absent of what's present. It's embodied Report an error in the passage at 25:34 Highlight the passage at 25:34

25:44 experiencing of grounding. So first, embodied experiencing of posturing. So I don't mean you have to use your head to visualize yourself sitting. It's actually a felt, embodied, palpable experience of being here. Report an error in the passage at 25:44 Highlight the passage at 25:44

26:06 So it's not a method of working on the breath. Suddenly you hear some sound, your mind goes there, a little bit itch here, and back a little bit, and you notice this, and emotions come up. That's not what your sitting is. Because Shikantaza, the Chinese word, zhi guan da zuo, the word zhi guan has a particular flavor, connotation of mind your own business. Report an error in the passage at 26:06 Highlight the passage at 26:06

26:39 It has that flavor. So when one says, something, something, something, they mean, don't mind that. Don't mind this. Mind this. It has that flavor in that Chinese and Japanese context. You see? So this means when you're doing what you're doing, just sitting, it's just that embodied experiencing of posturing. Report an error in the passage at 26:39 Highlight the passage at 26:39

27:07 So the mind wanders off posturing. And you're grounded, rooted to earth content. Report an error in the passage at 27:07 Highlight the passage at 27:07

27:18 Once the body disappears, what remains is embodied experiencing of grounding, sense of solidity. Why? It's not imagined at all. It's completely felt sensation. You see, it's what is present. So you're not out there, you're not anywhere, you're here. So it's palpable, concrete. If you keep on going, That embodied experience and grounding. And what I mean is, like your buttocks, because the upper body, your hands will disappear. Report an error in the passage at 27:18 Highlight the passage at 27:18

27:57 Your posturing up here will, as if they're as if not there. So if your method is as if they're as if not there, your method is vague. If your method is vague, your mind will be vague. Your mind has no anchor. You'll start to notice this, that, all kinds of other stuff. Does that make sense? So it has to be very clear. Whether you're on the method or you're not. If you're not, that means you're either wandering thoughts or you're sleeping. Report an error in the passage at 27:57 Highlight the passage at 27:57

28:29 Does that make sense? So what is actually present at that time is grounding. Upper body doesn't really exist. But here, palpably embodied. Report an error in the passage at 28:29 Highlight the passage at 28:29

28:45 And if you continue and dig into what is actually present. What is actually absent, if you look into the presence of grounding, what is actually present, it's Report an error in the passage at 28:45 Highlight the passage at 28:45

29:09 actually experiencing. Report an error in the passage at 29:09 Highlight the passage at 29:09

29:17 Experiencing this kind of Report an error in the passage at 29:17 Highlight the passage at 29:17

29:25 freshness, this kind of continuum. Report an error in the passage at 29:25 Highlight the passage at 29:25

29:38 It's no longer the object of the body anymore. It's like, if you all look at me for a moment. It's like me looking, I'm going to look. What is your name, sir? Sam. Sam, that's right. So I'm going to look at Sam. You know, in the beginning, Sam is out there, right? Report an error in the passage at 29:38 Highlight the passage at 29:38

30:02 If you look at long enough, Report an error in the passage at 30:02 Highlight the passage at 30:02

30:08 Sam starts to fade away. And this seeing, this experiencing itself becomes to the foreground, more prominent. Report an error in the passage at 30:08 Highlight the passage at 30:08

30:20 It's no longer Guo Gu out there. It's the seeing itself. That's what I mean by experiencing. And what is that? It's this non-abiding, moment to moment to moment, wakefulness. Report an error in the passage at 30:20 Highlight the passage at 30:20

30:40 So then, in Report an error in the passage at 30:40 Highlight the passage at 30:40

30:47 our tradition, in the way I teach it, Report an error in the passage at 30:47 Highlight the passage at 30:47

30:53 that's the foundation of silent illumination. On the one hand, this absence of wandering thoughts, the silent part. On the other hand, there's the presence of wakefulness. Report an error in the passage at 30:53 Highlight the passage at 30:53

31:18 So it becomes a methodless method. So I just merely inserted a few steps before that. Very concrete, very palpable ways to get people out of their head and into their body. Does that make sense? Report an error in the passage at 31:18 Highlight the passage at 31:18

31:40 So to segue into that. Wakeful, but no wandering thought. Report an error in the passage at 31:40 Highlight the passage at 31:40

31:51 Clear, but not abiding anywhere. That's why Hong Chi says, right? Encountering things without making things into objects. Report an error in the passage at 31:51 Highlight the passage at 31:51

32:13 Knowing without filter through conditioning. Report an error in the passage at 32:13 Highlight the passage at 32:13

32:23 Usually when we encounter things, we make it into an object. This person is here, that person is there. Opposition. So you're not oblivious, but you're in, nor are you in samādhi. Report an error in the passage at 32:23 Highlight the passage at 32:23

32:47 Meditated absorption. So you wake full without wandering thoughts. Clear without resting, allowing the mind to rest anywhere. It's just experiencing. So the mind reverts to its most organic, natural state. Like the eyes see, ears hear. What does the mind do? What does the body do? Experience without encountering things. Report an error in the passage at 32:47 Highlight the passage at 32:47

33:23 It sounds abstract, but it's very, very concrete. If we do it step by step, step by step. Report an error in the passage at 33:23 Highlight the passage at 33:23

33:36 So that's the way I teach silent illumination. And in our tradition, my teacher also is the Report an error in the passage at 33:36 Highlight the passage at 33:36

33:49 recipient, Dharma Transmission of the Lingji Ringside School as well. So we also have Huatou practice, Goan practice. And the way I teach is at that juncture of experiencing, Report an error in the passage at 33:49 Highlight the passage at 33:49

34:02 Without encountering things, making things into things, that's our problem, basically. We make everything into a thing. So when we reach that state, that's where I segue for some of my students to go into Huatou practice. How? Now they have a palpable, embodied, not in the head, embodied, felt sense of this experiencing. Report an error in the passage at 34:02 Highlight the passage at 34:02

34:32 And then the huatou that I use is, what is it? This it refers to this. It's Report an error in the passage at 34:32 Highlight the passage at 34:32

34:53 like saying, I'm going to call your name in the next few seconds. When I call your name, you raise your hand. It's like your body grounded. Report an error in the passage at 34:53 Highlight the passage at 34:53

35:18 You see, the mind is awake, yet not a single thought. But it's not void. It's not absent. It's not nothingness. What is that? Report an error in the passage at 35:18 Highlight the passage at 35:18

35:35 What is that? What is it, that juncture of experiencing that made you raise the hand? What is that? So that becomes the primary guan or huato that we use to start off. Instead of what is mu, like Westerners have no connection with mu. Who cares what dog have no brain nature at all, right? So mu, Pre-Buddhist, in the Chinese context, it's so rich in meaning. It's so rich. Report an error in the passage at 35:35 Highlight the passage at 35:35

36:18 The whole philosophical tradition is founded on that. Wu. So in that context, when they say, what is Wu? It's such fullness to that. Not that they're thinking. It's this embodied sense. But in the West, mu, mu, mu, mu. Report an error in the passage at 36:18 Highlight the passage at 36:18

36:41 It's just, God. Report an error in the passage at 36:41 Highlight the passage at 36:41

36:42 Lost in translation. So in a similar way, I train students to be totally embodied, that palpable sense of not knowing what is it that's animating this moment. What is it that's seeing, hearing, sensing? Now they have a palpable sense without being cluttered by objects of wandering thoughts, rumination, discrimination. Report an error in the passage at 36:42 Highlight the passage at 36:42

37:08 They have direct encounter with this. What is it? It's a life potent, yet not a single thing. Now that what is it becomes a life to them. Does that make sense? So this is the pathway. So silent illumination, segue into, in the way I teach, segue into Huatou practice. But Report an error in the passage at 37:08 Highlight the passage at 37:08

37:45 this is taken in a larger context. Oh my goodness. I'm sorry. In a larger context of... Report an error in the passage at 37:45 Highlight the passage at 37:45

37:57 Affirming the self, maturing the self, and then dissolving the self. We Report an error in the passage at 37:57 Highlight the passage at 37:57

38:14 can entertain some questions if you have any. Yes, please. How do Report an error in the passage at 38:14 Highlight the passage at 38:14

38:31 you go about teaching students that judge their body when they're not being grounded in meditation? I find it very difficult to stay grounded for any amount of time. Judging is never. Judging oneself is never helpful. Report an error in the passage at 38:31 Highlight the passage at 38:31

38:57 So in our tradition, we actually do yoga stretches. So when we sit, we don't sit in robes. This kind of robe. We do yoga stretches. We do self-massage. That sounds good, right? Self-massage after every period. Instead of the bell ring, ding, you stand up. We do self-massage. So everything we do is very embodied. And we do prostrations. So one of the problems with modern people is that we have six senses, eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, mind. Report an error in the passage at 38:57 Highlight the passage at 38:57

39:44 The mind faculty hijacks. The previous five. And one of the ways it does that is inner critic. It's constant judging. It's got a name. It's got a container for everything. If it doesn't, you'll make up a container to put yourself, pigeonhole yourself in that. So we expose that. And we don't follow that. We don't suppress it either. Report an error in the passage at 39:44 Highlight the passage at 39:44

40:16 We just see it. We just amplify the sense faculty of the body. And the way that we're neurologically wired is such that so that we're not inundated with data all the time from these sensory organs. The way that we're neurologically wired is when we amplify one sense faculty, the functions of the other sense faculties will naturally recede in the background. Report an error in the passage at 40:16 Highlight the passage at 40:16

40:45 So we're capitalizing, working with the way we're actually wired to do. So when we are Train to relax these three areas and feel palpably grounded. Just again and again, sweep the body, relax. Skin, muscles, tendons. Report an error in the passage at 40:45 Highlight the passage at 40:45

41:10 The judgment, that's the sixth sense faculty. Hijacking, you don't want to follow that. You're not aggravated by that either. You do you or do me. Or you can do what Linji says. Be an idiot. He try to talk to you, no say. Report an error in the passage at 41:10 Highlight the passage at 41:10

41:35 What kind of night? I don't understand what's happening. So you expose it, but you don't follow it. Your feeling tone is still content. Report an error in the passage at 41:35 Highlight the passage at 41:35

41:47 We just get to what needs to be done. Relax. Some people, in order to train, get a good sense of it, the whole period of sitting there, actually training themselves to be embodied, embodied, embodied. And that itself is a method. So that's very important. Report an error in the passage at 41:47 Highlight the passage at 41:47

42:19 This problem where every time I try to meditate, I get like pretty bad anxiety. Like if I try to focus my breath, you know, focus on earlier, you said feel the grounding sensations and all of a sudden it feels like my body just feels weird. Like I want to move, like I want to adjust constantly. Like every time I focus on it, it's like it just feels wrong and I want to adjust and it's endless and then I get anxiety. Report an error in the passage at 42:19 Highlight the passage at 42:19

42:42 Yeah. What can I do about that? That's the issue of feeling tone. You're not taking care of your feeling tone. Feeling tone. What I mean by that is your Report an error in the passage at 42:42 Highlight the passage at 42:42

43:02 mood, your attitude. What you're trying to do is trying to fix things. Trying to fix things. Trying to get rid of something. Trying to get something. That in the Chan tradition. Trying to get something. That's problematic. Feeling tone is all good. It's all good. You do you or I do me. So if you can't relax, or it's painful, you know, you do you, you do me. What I'm doing is svalantaza. Report an error in the passage at 43:02 Highlight the passage at 43:02

43:42 Feeling tone is, it's my way of saying the second of the eightfold path, right intention. First one is right view. View usually is hijacked by whatever intention that you have. Feeling tone can only be accessed when you relax the body. Report an error in the passage at 43:42 Highlight the passage at 43:42

44:07 Any subtle shifts. It's like mood. It's like when you're in a good mood, not trying to fix things, you're not that agitated. Report an error in the passage at 44:07 Highlight the passage at 44:07

44:18 Legs. Someone step on your feet. It's all right. That's what I mean by mood. Feeling tone. When you're in a bad mood, agitated mood, everything's wrong. Everything's going wrong. Nothing's right. See? Most people are not in tune with how they actually feel, how they actually feel. They're caught up with notions and ideas. Report an error in the passage at 44:18 Highlight the passage at 44:18

44:51 So in order to, you know, in order to tap into the undercurrent feeling tone, you have to come at it through the body. Relax the body, section by section, flow down, take your time, enjoy. Report an error in the passage at 44:51 Highlight the passage at 44:51

45:14 Changing the muscles. Through sheer muscle memory, different chemicals will flow through your body. For example, if you're annoyed, just smile. Even though in the beginning maybe a forced smile, but if you smile, you will sense the feeling tone, undercurrent feeling tone. There's a subtle shift. Report an error in the passage at 45:14 Highlight the passage at 45:14

45:45 So when you relax the body, gentle smile. Report an error in the passage at 45:45 Highlight the passage at 45:45

45:55 Sway the body from left to right. Relax the subtle tension that's holding the lumbar area. Make it loose. Then front and back. Then sink. Just that gentle smile. Report an error in the passage at 45:55 Highlight the passage at 45:55

46:15 It's okay. Report an error in the passage at 46:15 Highlight the passage at 46:15

46:20 Nonchalant. That's what I mean by feeling tone. Without this ingredient of feeling tone, we're blind to how our habit tendencies hijack each moment. Report an error in the passage at 46:20 Highlight the passage at 46:20

46:39 And the only way to get to the feeling tone is relaxed, grounded. Report an error in the passage at 46:39 Highlight the passage at 46:39

46:46 So your body, your system, shifts to the mode of safety. I feel all right. Then the chemicals will flow through your body. That's okay. And then you can tap into the feeling tone. I Report an error in the passage at 46:46 Highlight the passage at 46:46

47:09 have some online guided meditation that you can search out. I'll give you a more concrete example how to. tap into the feeling dome. Report an error in the passage at 47:09 Highlight the passage at 47:09

47:24 This is seldom talked about. Report an error in the passage at 47:24 Highlight the passage at 47:24

47:29 in the Chan Zen tradition, but it's needed so I lay it out. Report an error in the passage at 47:29 Highlight the passage at 47:29

47:49 I'm open to it, but some people, if you have to go, then feel free to exit. If you have questions, then you can ask. Report an error in the passage at 47:49 Highlight the passage at 47:49

48:06 a lot. You talked a little bit about the ways that our minds sort of turn things into objects. I've been having this experience lately where when I'm very deep in meditation, been going for a little while, it's different than just sort of my wandering thoughts. But I sort of have this experience where I start to almost have like dreamlike visions. And they're almost like they're very fragile. Report an error in the passage at 48:06 Highlight the passage at 48:06

48:34 Like I'm looking at them with like the peripheral vision of my mind. And if I shift my concentration at all, They fade away, but I don't feel like I'm in control of them in any way like I would regular wandering thoughts. They feel very interesting to watch unfold and to explore, but at the same time, I'm kind of wondering, is that just a fancy version of my mind wandering? Report an error in the passage at 48:34 Highlight the passage at 48:34

49:02 Thank you. It's just a habit, habit, tendency. Sometimes it can come from something. Report an error in the passage at 49:02 Highlight the passage at 49:02

49:12 Deeper, you know, from your psyche. It's like a person walking from point A to point B. If you're not clear of your walking, which is your practice, your method, sometimes you can stop and just start looking at the scenery. Oh, it's so nice. Some people practice in order to check out the scenery. That's another point. So at that time, you already don't have a method. Report an error in the passage at 49:12 Highlight the passage at 49:12

49:45 You're already off the method. So the mind starts to subliminal, vulnerable, open state. So something deep from the psyche will start to... Some people who are visual, they would see visual things. There are three types. Visual. And second type is emotional, feeling strong. They will have different raw... Report an error in the passage at 49:45 Highlight the passage at 49:45

50:24 feelings that come out depends on their own practice history or personal history just maybe fear what kind of feeling of positive feelings expansiveness the third type is linguistic these things so at those vulnerable junctures one Report an error in the passage at 50:24 Highlight the passage at 50:24

50:49 must have a method must be clear at that time if your body is still present why aren't you sitting with the body see The body is sitting. Just mind yourself sitting. Mind your business. If the body is not there, experiencing is there. Report an error in the passage at 50:49 Highlight the passage at 50:49

51:11 Methodless method. It's not the object. It's moment to moment to moment fresh, wakeful, non-abiding. What is it? That should be present. So if we lose track of the method, then these things will just come out. Report an error in the passage at 51:11 Highlight the passage at 51:11

51:31 So for you, is it visual? So the way you can tell is if you recall back an important memory that you have, you can try this. When you recall back, how does it come? What form does it come? Some people, they just remember things, the feeling that the things left them with. That's the feeling type. Some people, they remember the exact scenery in which, you know, someone said this, I said that, that whole scene. Report an error in the passage at 51:31 Highlight the passage at 51:31

52:05 The visual type. Some people, we go, I can't believe that guy said that to me. It's just the words. So we're all, all three of these. It's just a matter of predominance. Does that make sense? Have you ever noticed this about yourself? Report an error in the passage at 52:05 Highlight the passage at 52:05

52:26 We're kind of working with our mind practitioners, so we should work with what we're about. You're kind of... You're more clear of these habit tendencies. They are your strength. They're also your weakness. So you can be more holistic, kind of balance, balance your shortcomings. I don't mean weakness, but like shortcomings. So you can be Report an error in the passage at 52:26 Highlight the passage at 52:26

53:03 able to convey all three. So part of the teacher's job, for example, is to... Be able to cater the teaching to particular people, the type of people, because that will resonate with them. Report an error in the passage at 53:03 Highlight the passage at 53:03

53:25 But that requires a teacher to also work with their own shortcomings and their own strengths. So it's not like a one-trick pony. Report an error in the passage at 53:25 Highlight the passage at 53:25

53:36 I only do this, just this. You're only able to connect with people that only resonate with that. So like what? Dogen said to study the way you study the self. This is part of studying the self, like exposing your habit tendencies, the way you work, so you know what to do. Once you turn on the light in the room, you see what needs to be done, what needs to be cleaned up. Report an error in the passage at 53:36 Highlight the passage at 53:36

54:13 Okay, thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge. And this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, please visit sfzc.org and click Giving. Report an error in the passage at 54:13 Highlight the passage at 54:13

54:38 May we all fully enjoy the Dharma. Report an error in the passage at 54:38 Highlight the passage at 54:38