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Key passages
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- 3:37
the title of this afternoon's reflection is Why Does the Grass Look Greener? Now the sign I didn't choose any of these titles.
- 14:37
We think of, say, the ideals of how I would like to be, say, as a Buddhist monk. The ideal Buddhist Mahatera in my 40th year as a Buddhist monk. How I would like to be as an ideal Buddhist monk of 40 years. And I can create, you know, it would be a perfect image, wouldn't it? Be always calm, full of compassion and mettā, and I have good health, of course.
- 47:27
We're inadequate in ourselves. We either blame ourselves, thinking it's my fault I'm not good enough. We blame others. If my parents, if my society had been more understanding, I would have been a better, happier person. It's like you're really willing to learn from the way it is and the way that you're experiencing it individually, the way your physical constitution. Your emotional habits and memories and so forth, both from the good and the bad, the right and wrong.
- 55:44
So just observing this, how we are programmed and conditioned in this way so that conflict is inevitable inside our own mind. So then in terms of The Middle East, you know, we think Israel shouldn't be like that. And then we look at the Hezbollah or the Hamas, and they're determined to punish or get rid of the Israelis.
- 1:02:58
And then the conflict resolves itself. Once you're aware, once you're really aware that when you don't get your own way you feel like this, it's no longer a problem. It resolves itself. And so then you become, you are someone who knows how to resolve conflict in yourself.
Transcript
0:03 So this afternoon is the first of the summer talks. Last year I was living at Chithurst for Report an error in the passage at 0:03
0:19 that year, so I didn't participate in this. And the aim of this, I like to think of them as reflections, contemplations rather than just information about Buddhism and informative discussions on Report an error in the passage at 0:19
0:41 What we call Buddhism today, but more see it in terms of listening, being aware, observing. So how, you know, what I say, how it affects you. And whether you, you know, if it bores you or interests you or you agree or disagree, the aim is to just observe the feeling, the state of mind. This is the aim of the Buddha Dhamma. Report an error in the passage at 0:41
1:28 Its purpose is to free us, liberate us from just being habitually caught and trapped in our reactivity because we... When we're not awake, when we're not mindful, then we live our life merely more in a reactive way. Our happiness and unhappiness are dependent on so many other things because we've made ourselves into something that reacts to stimulation. Report an error in the passage at 1:28
2:04 And of course words stimulate us. They have an effect on our consciousness. But we're so used to thinking and our obsessive tendencies with continuous thinking, we don't observe, we're not that aware of how even our very thoughts and memories affect our conscious experience. Report an error in the passage at 2:04
2:31 But we all know that if you start remembering unpleasant things of the past, you can feel depressed or upset or resentful. Report an error in the passage at 2:31
2:43 If you're anticipating a holiday this summer in some romantic spot, you can make yourself quite excited and happy just by imagining, fantasizing all the happy, wonderful experiences that you would like to have. And those are all based on positive perceptions. If you think about it as going to some place where there might be danger, where you might be attacked or... Report an error in the passage at 2:43
3:13 burglar. killed or whatever, then one tends to so skeptical that maybe you wouldn't bother to go. So this positive-negative of life is the thinking process itself. Now Report an error in the passage at 3:13
3:37 the title of this afternoon's reflection is Why Does the Grass Look Greener? Now the sign I didn't choose any of these titles. Report an error in the passage at 3:37
3:54 But it's a good reflection, you know, because the grass looks greener. Why is it? What is it that makes us always think that if it were different, if it were somewhere else, somebody else, something else? And contemplating just experience that we have in our lives, what we're used to, what we're accustomed to. Report an error in the passage at 3:54
4:30 noticing the things we don't like if you're living with somebody or your partner, your husband, wife, whatever, at first maybe it's romantic and happy relationship and then as the years go by you get used to each other, custom. Report an error in the passage at 4:30
4:54 then you start noticing, or... Report an error in the passage at 4:54
4:59 don't like somebody else looks a lot more interesting or more than the one you have. Report an error in the passage at 4:59
5:09 just noticing how it's something new, something that... Report an error in the passage at 5:09
5:17 That we aren't that used to yet looks always like we've become interested and attracted to it. When they advertise, public advertising is always presenting something as if it were better and newer and more beautiful and better quality and making with more gadgets, more nuances, more discoveries that make it much more interesting than the Report an error in the passage at 5:17
6:13 conscious beings living in a sensitive realm so so just recognize that The state that every single one of us sitting here is in at this very moment. We feel, we experience whatever. And how much control do you have over what you're going to experience? Report an error in the passage at 6:13
6:32 You know, we're in a universe that we really have trouble comprehending. It's vast, it's mysterious, it's even frightening when you think about it too much. Report an error in the passage at 6:32
6:47 all the things that we don't know about it, the mysteries of the universe. we tend to create security by Report an error in the passage at 6:47
7:01 becoming obsessed or occupied with, say, what we can in our lives, family, the job, the the that we can. Report an error in the passage at 7:01
7:20 The mysteries tend to throw us into a state of wonder or fear. It's awesome. Or we could say it's awful. Using awful in both terms is awesome and horrible. Report an error in the passage at 7:20
7:42 But in Buddhist meditation, the Buddha encouraged us to really reflect on the way it is as a human being. What is being human? Report an error in the passage at 7:42
7:55 is a human? We call ourselves human beings. We just assume that we are that as a continuous experience of life. But do we really know what that is? Have we really reflected and tried to see what being human is, the reality of our humanity? And this is where reflection helps. Begin to notice, observe. So in the Buddhist teachings, there's always these lists and these references. Report an error in the passage at 7:55
8:28 To the senses, to the experience of seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, tasting, thinking. To what they call the five khandhas, the body, the feeling, the perception, the emotion, consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 8:28
8:49 Now these are words that we think we understand, but... Do we understand them in terms of experience here and now? And that's what we call vipassanā meditation. Actually start examining and noticing the way it is. Report an error in the passage at 8:49
9:09 And this isn't to form a judgment whether it's right, wrong, good or bad, but it is like this. Having a body sitting here is like this. Report an error in the passage at 9:09
9:22 And suddenly, you know, when I do this and I'm aware of... ...of the physical experience of this body as it is right now sitting in this chair. Aware of it in the kind of condition that it's sitting, that it has pressure on, it's in contact with the chair and there's this sense of precious sensations that are not pleasant or painful but are certainly obvious when you take the opportunity to look at them, observe them. Report an error in the passage at 9:22
9:56 Or just the feeling of the clothes on your body or any tensions, any bodily habits that one might be experiencing at this time. It's not to develop a sense of something right or wrong about it. It's observing the way it is. It's like this. So it's... Beginning to notice the most obvious realities or experiences in the present that we might not bother to pay any attention to. Report an error in the passage at 9:56
10:35 I could be sitting here thinking about what I'm going to do next. Planning my next event. Thinking about the future. What's the future of Buddhism in Britain? Or thinking about the past. I remember those... Report an error in the passage at 10:35
10:57 Happy times in Portugal last month. Report an error in the passage at 10:57
11:05 And not be aware of anything real other than my memories, getting involved with my memories or my plans for the future. So meditation, what we call meditation, is paying attention to the way it is. So bringing attention to the posture, the breathing, the body's breathing, or the state of mind, the mood or emotional. Report an error in the passage at 11:05
11:59 Sloppy way, you're not sitting up straight, like that. The headmaster tells you to and you're slumping over and you're not feeling very good at all. Being aware of this is not being aware of how it should be or trying to make you feel guilty but bringing attention just to this opening to this present moment is like this. Report an error in the passage at 11:59
12:29 So it's like listening, receiving and it's not comparing with ideals of Good posture of how you should feel on a sunny afternoon at Amaravati or anything else. Whatever you're feeling, experiencing at this moment, physically, mentally, emotionally, is like this. You're just the observer, not the critic. When we get into criticism, then we have to start thinking. Notice that reflective awareness. Report an error in the passage at 12:29
13:03 It doesn't depend on thought, it's a natural ability we have to discern, to notice, to observe, that isn't based on anyone's ideas of what should or shouldn't be. But then we're conditioned by education, by culture, the use of our language is a critical function. So the thinking process is what we strongly identify with. At least most people, we have so much, we've been educated, we've read so much, we have so much information. Report an error in the passage at 13:03
13:48 We have high standards, principles, ideals, morals, all the rest of how things should be. We're aware of what's wrong in ourselves or with somebody else or with family or a society. We say we don't like this, we like this, but this isn't right. So that the thinking process is a critical function. That's its purpose, is to compare. It knows this one's bigger than that one, or this one is yellow and that is red. Report an error in the passage at 13:48
14:28 And then we might like red, you see. Red is a very good color, but I don't like yellow. And on and on like this. So then we... We think of, say, the ideals of how I would like to be, say, as a Buddhist monk. The ideal Buddhist Mahatera in my 40th year as a Buddhist monk. How I would like to be as an ideal Buddhist monk of 40 years. And I can create, you know, it would be a perfect image, wouldn't it? Report an error in the passage at 14:28
15:02 Be always calm, full of compassion and mettā, and I have good health, of course. And I would weigh less. I could create a whole image of what I would like. And then it makes me critical of the realities of this moment. Report an error in the passage at 15:02
15:35 So this is what we call, you know, we have a standard or an ideal, which is created with thought. And so these standards, these ideals are beautiful. We can create superlatives. They're the best. Report an error in the passage at 15:35
15:54 But the way it is now, the way it is, is like this. So if we're not reflective and willing to just accept the way it is, then we tend to think there's something wrong. Report an error in the passage at 15:54
16:10 There's something wrong here because it shouldn't be like this. It should be otherwise. And I should be this perfect image after 40 years of monastic life. But there's something wrong, because I'm not the ideal that I cling to. And so then we can get, you know, at my age, if you aren't content and reflective on your life, you tend to see in terms of success, failure, blame others, feel depressed because your expectations of life have not been realized, and on like that. Report an error in the passage at 16:10
16:56 So the grass is greener because we can imagine it being greener, that life would be better or experience would be better if there were these other conditions that are not, which we imagine, which we project onto the pasture over there. Report an error in the passage at 16:56
17:20 But the one we're living in, we say there are too many weeds in it, we're aware of the soil and the... And the details, the little details that we can disapprove of or not like at all. Report an error in the passage at 17:20
17:42 We can live our lives always with this sense of the future is where we hope to realize our full potential. That if we work hard and save a lot of money and get what we want in the future, we will have the happiness and The success that we long for as an ideal. So notice that this is all about time, past and the future, about the qualities of the condition, the ideals that we have. Report an error in the passage at 17:42
18:20 We're from very idealistic societies. We all know how it should be, how the government should be, how everything should be fair. I agree, that's the way it should be. There should be justice and fairness and compassion from school teachers, from administrators and from the government, from the church, from everything as an ideal. Report an error in the passage at 18:20
18:51 But the way it is, is like this, and this is not to criticize but to observe, that the present moment is not an ideal. The present moment is... The changing realities of conditions that you're experiencing here and now, which none of them are, ideals are static. You can have the same ideal at 80 that you had when you were 20 and still be just as beautiful. But the realities between 20 and 80 are very different. Report an error in the passage at 18:51
19:29 The changing conditions, the memories, the emotional habits, the physical state of the body. And so this is the emphasis the Buddha made, to awaken, pay attention, observe. Report an error in the passage at 19:29
19:48 And this is what I call, what I call this book, came out a few years ago, called Intuitive Awareness. Like intuition, when I use this word intuition, what I mean by this is that it's our ability to Report an error in the passage at 19:48
20:16 selective, it's not looking at anything and excluding anything else. Report an error in the passage at 20:16
20:24 it's not involved with criticizing or getting involved with the details. They're fascinated with one thing. absorbing into it and ignoring all the rest. Report an error in the passage at 20:24
20:37 our ability to... Be really sensitive and receptive to everything on this broad spectrum of awareness. Report an error in the passage at 20:37
20:50 Now, we aren't trained to do this, even though we do this sometimes quite unintentionally. It's just a natural state, actually. But we're actually conditioned to not do this, to ignore this. We're conditioned to... Report an error in the passage at 20:50
21:13 Look at things, to absorb into objects, to react to the conditions. Say you walk into this sala, into this room here, and you react to, you know, some people who don't understand Buddhism, who have strong views about what religion, the uselessness of religion, like get a good atheist coming in here, and they only worship golden images, marble statues. Report an error in the passage at 21:13
21:44 Look at that, you know. A shrine to some marble image, a deity of some sort. And then start getting very... See, Buddhism is just another one of those superstitions going into the logic that comes from reacting to maybe just seeing a Buddha image. Report an error in the passage at 21:44
22:07 And then the reaction is like this, emotional reaction. Report an error in the passage at 22:07
22:14 Or I'll say somebody who's devout Buddhist comes in and they see the Buddha image, their first... Reaction is to, oh, look at that, beautiful image. And they vary, you know, the people's reactions to it. But these are reactions to the stimulation of the object. So we can spend the whole day in this one room and observe the pictures and the images and the people coming and going, activities, but not really be open to the reality of this. Report an error in the passage at 22:14
22:48 So we just become stimulated by the objects. In this room. But what is the most important thing in this room, which is not a thing really, is the space in it. Report an error in the passage at 22:48
23:06 You know, if we had it just filled solid with bricks, then we couldn't be here. We couldn't sit in this room. It'd be useless. It wouldn't be a room anymore. And yet the very obvious utilitarian reality is the space. We may not ever reach consciousness, even though we're sitting right in it, experiencing it in reality, but not aware of it because of our reactions to the conditions, to the objects. Report an error in the passage at 23:06
23:44 Now this is just an example of comparing form with space on a visual level, just through eye consciousness. Space doesn't stand out in a tract. It doesn't have a... Like it isn't red or gold. It's not ugly. It's not beautiful. Report an error in the passage at 23:44
24:08 But it is. We're in it all the time, you know, whatever, even if we're in a cupboard. Space is where, you know, we couldn't exist without space. So space is real, and it's observable, but not noticed, not recognized, because it doesn't seem important. Report an error in the passage at 24:08
24:33 Where the things, the thoughts, the feelings, the opinions we form, the prejudices we harbor, the reactions we have, our emotional patterns and all that, they seem important to us. We react to that, to the quality, to the condition. We judge it. We like it or don't like it, approve or disapprove. Report an error in the passage at 24:33
25:06 So we live in this world, this dualistic realm of thinking, a dualistic process of thinking, and then this is based on extremes, like from the best to the worst. Where you have one, you have the other. You have to have, if you have right, then there's wrong, good, bad, male, female. Report an error in the passage at 25:06
25:30 Whatever condition is, you know, it has its opposite. And that's why we call it a dualism. And this is the nature of conditioned phenomena. Birth and death. Report an error in the passage at 25:30
25:47 Nobody would ever die if they were never born. Isn't that right? When Report an error in the passage at 25:47
26:00 you're breathing, you don't exhale first. You inhale and then you exhale. You can't inhale as a continuous experience. You inhale. And then you reach a peak where you can't inhale anymore. That conditions the exhaling. And so that's the pattern of conditioned phenomena that the Buddha encourages us to observe and notice, to witness with mindfulness and wisdom. Report an error in the passage at 26:00
26:33 And so in meditation, the encouragement to see this changingness in the... Conditions that we're experiencing now, so it's not abstract, imagining things changing as ideas and thinking about the future and the inevitable changes that are taking place in the world, but observing the reality of the experience of changing this in the present. Report an error in the passage at 26:33
27:04 And so then we bring attention to what is existing right now. In consciousness, it's the body, it's here, each one of us has a body, it's sitting, and it's like this. The breathing is like this, the mood is like this. Now notice I'm saying like this, I'm not saying, giving you, I'm trying to tell you how any of it should be, but just awaken and notice. Report an error in the passage at 27:04
27:38 It's like this. Report an error in the passage at 27:38
27:44 So this is a way of training, of... Developing or cultivating, using a wisdom faculty that generally is natural to us but we don't really appreciate or don't understand. To the conditioned human individual, most of us are conditioned to see things in terms of what should or shouldn't be. Report an error in the passage at 27:44
28:13 Ideals of right and wrong, good and bad. Report an error in the passage at 28:13
28:21 So we, you know, if we're too stuck in dualism, then we, you know, we can, the logic that comes from dualistic thinking is if it's bad, you kill it. There's a kind of logic there, isn't it? Bad is, you know, there shouldn't be these evil forces and they should be exterminated. Now, logically, I can, you know, I understand that. Report an error in the passage at 28:21
28:51 You know, like pesticides and that. Before I became a Buddhist monk, I had no qualms about insecticides, pouring salt on the slugs in the garden. I used to even enjoy watching them kind of curl up in pain, killing flies, mosquitoes. It seemed to be the right thing to do, and I was told that this was a good thing. Mosquitoes are bad. Kill them. Report an error in the passage at 28:51
29:19 Flies are dirty and disease carriers, so that seems the most efficient best thing to do would be to just annihilate them. Report an error in the passage at 29:19
29:29 Slugs, ugly nasty creatures, are, you know, they destroy your garden, so you destroy them. So dualistic thinking, you know, is logical. And you can justify almost anything you want, you know, like, Genocide has a certain logic to it. And any kind of evil practice, capital punishment, is logical. And only, you know, invading Iraq is logical. Report an error in the passage at 29:29
30:07 War is logical. It's all, you know, you can make a good case for doing anything you want, really, because that's a thinking function. And logic is dependent on that. It's dualistic. Now Report an error in the passage at 30:07
30:30 intuition, intuitive awareness, or wisdom, that's how I use this word wisdom, not as an intellectual function based on ideas, but a natural intelligence, Report an error in the passage at 30:30
30:45 a universal intelligence that is natural to us, but we aren't aware of it as such, because we're so Overwhelmed, so committed to this dualism that we've acquired the thinking process and the ideals of what should and shouldn't be. Report an error in the passage at 30:45
31:06 So we can live our lives endlessly complaining and that about the way it is because life seldom ever is as it should be. At moments, you know, I felt, oh, life is perfect at this very moment, but I've never been able to sustain that. Report an error in the passage at 31:06
31:26 Here in England, you know, people complain about the weather a lot. So, you know, it rains all the time in England and it's cold. So I try to challenge that and say, you know, like today, I say, this is a perfect day, perfect weather. And then somebody will say, well, it'll probably rain tomorrow. Report an error in the passage at 31:26
31:50 So, you know, Report an error in the passage at 31:50
31:56 this is how you think it could rain tomorrow. So, you know, Report an error in the passage at 31:56
32:22 perfection should be yours, but just noticing. Without thinking about, well, I might lose it. It won't stay this way. I can't keep England like this as an ongoing reality. Report an error in the passage at 32:22
32:41 But also that sense of always wanting something to stay when it is at its peak, when life is at its best, when everything is going well and your health is at its best and everything, your friends, your partners, your children. Report an error in the passage at 32:41
33:01 Everything just seems just right, no complaints. But there's always a bit of worry because you know it's going to change, isn't it? You can't sustain it. And so then there is this fear of loss and even when life is at its best, we know it's going to change. Report an error in the passage at 33:01
33:25 Now this is a reflective statement, noticing change, being aware of it. Isn't saying, trying to find any fault with change, but observing it. Because this is where the wisdom faculty then blossoms in us. We begin to awaken to the way it is. We're not expecting perfection of the conditioned realm as a continuous experience. Report an error in the passage at 33:25
33:52 We're not demanding the impossible. But we're awakening to the realities of being, having a human body, a sensitive form, On this planet, it's like this. Now this was when I became a monk in Thailand years ago. It was, this is what I really benefited from living with somebody like Ajahn Chah. Because one thing in Thailand, because it is a Buddhist country, its culture is strongly affected by Buddhist ideas and ideals. Report an error in the passage at 33:52
34:36 So there was a kind of, I noticed amongst Thai monks in general, Thai people, an acceptance of life, just the human, recognizing just the human limitation and an uncomplaining, uncritical acceptance of it. And that was quite new to me, because from my background, being from the United States, Report an error in the passage at 34:36
35:04 You're conditioned to complain when something isn't at its best. And so, you know, always through much of my life, my youth, it was the suffering of that period was because I was always feeling guilty about the way I am, you know, my reactions, my emotional habits, because I could always imagine that I should, how I should be. Report an error in the passage at 35:04
35:34 If I were a real man, a real American, if I were a really mature, intelligent and wise person, I wouldn't feel like this, I wouldn't react like that, I wouldn't think like this, because Report an error in the passage at 35:34
35:58 the realities of being human had never been pointed out to me. It was like how you should be, the ideal. The American male is like this, the role model. And so then grasping that model, you're always comparing yourself with an ideal. And then you're never going to be that good, ever. Don't ever expect to be an ideal. Report an error in the passage at 35:58
36:30 Ideals are, you know, they're beautiful, and certainly I'm not disparaging ideals. But trying to put idealism into a context that you can actually use it rather than just create endless suffering because your life and yourself and the people you live with and the situations you're in aren't as good as that. Report an error in the passage at 36:30
36:58 So this is where we reflect and we observe the suffering of attachment to ideals. And it means then we can let go of the ideal, not throw it out. Report an error in the passage at 36:58
37:38 Cliff. Mud puddle or whatever. And then we have to cope with that. And that's not the ideal, is it? Having a muddy road doesn't fit into the ideal. But it might be the reality of this present moment, of having to negotiate a swamp or whatever, whatever obstructions happen to appear. Report an error in the passage at 37:38
38:06 And so then it takes this intuition. We have this intuition, this... Report an error in the passage at 38:06
38:16 that we don't acquire education or through cultural conditioning, is natural to us as human beings, the species of human beings living on this planet. Report an error in the passage at 38:16
38:31 like this. so when we recognize this, we open to this, then this discernment frees us from the suffering, endless suffering. We create through not understanding, through Report an error in the passage at 38:31
38:50 just being conditioned to see things like this and hold to views about how you should be, how you should think, how your partners should be and think, how your peers and neighbors and government officials and the world in general. Report an error in the passage at 38:50
39:16 But being human is, you know, when one looks at the, or hears the news about the state of the world, you know, you feel this sense of despair because of these endless wars and what they call terrorism and guerrilla warfare and the righteousness that comes out of all this. Listening to the news about the... Report an error in the passage at 39:16
39:46 events in Israel and Lebanon, Palestine at this time. You listen to both sides, and both sides are righteous. Report an error in the passage at 39:46
40:03 Both sides, the Israelis, they're right. They know they're right. They're doing the right thing. And the Hezbollah know they're right. Report an error in the passage at 40:03
40:15 And the Hamas, they're right. Palestinians are right. And the Israelis are wrong. And then the Israelis say, no, those people, they started it. It's their fault. They're wrong. We're right. So where do you resolve that issue? Who's right? You know, on a personal level, you might be more sympathetic to one side than the other is all. Report an error in the passage at 40:15
40:41 You know, you might gravitate in sympathy on a personal level because you like one side better than the other. But that's still the same problem, isn't it? It's still a dualistic thinking mind. I prefer this one to that one. Report an error in the passage at 40:41
40:59 But in terms of reflecting on the way it is, this is the result of ignorance. These wars, these conflicts, the conflict between good and evil starts in our own mind. Report an error in the passage at 40:59
41:17 This is the result of ignorance, the wars that manifest, such as the one taking place in... Middle East. It's a result of ignorance of individual human beings. So it starts here. In meditation you start observing the conflict within yourself. You Report an error in the passage at 41:17
41:49 awaken to the dualistic conflict because we all have it. So we have, you know, like we're educated, most of us, educated to To have ideals, principles, high standards, high moral standards, views about right and wrong. Report an error in the passage at 41:49
42:14 We're all for democracy, and anything less than that is wrong, various levels of wrongness. And yet, how do we know what democracy really is? You know, but it's an ideal, certainly a good ideal. Communism is a good ideal. Report an error in the passage at 42:14
42:37 Even, you know, when you get down to, you see the kind of complexity of communism, socialism, democracy, because these are very idealistic systems, but the benevolent dictatorship, a benign, wise king would be the best. Report an error in the passage at 42:37
43:04 I'm just thinking out loud. But if you could have, you know, if you could have a great leader, You know, a really wise prime minister that was enlightened in Arahant and full of compassion, and then we'd trust him so totally that we'd probably say, you handle it all, because you're so wise, you can answer all the questions, solve all the problems. Report an error in the passage at 43:04
43:38 And then we think that would be, and that might work very well. But then when that wise prime minister dies off or gets assassinated or isn't re-elected, you know, who are you going to get next? Report an error in the passage at 43:38
43:59 So, you know, it's like having really good parents, wise and mature parents. And then one just enjoys the atmosphere of being in the security. Report an error in the passage at 43:59
44:16 of mature adults with wisdom and and then we we we get used to that but then we might not develop any of our own we just kind of enjoy the the results of it and when they when they go then we we don't know what to do so Report an error in the passage at 44:16
44:37 in this world that we're living in like here in England for example this society is the way it is you know you can we can criticize many aspects we can praise many aspects so it's not not you know on the dualistic level there's there's uh you know certainly a lot of very good things and uh that we experience by living here and also things that aren't very good but that's just the the way it is on the condition plane it's never this country's never going to be ideal an ideal society It'll never be, you know, unless we're all become enlightened, we're all Arahants, and then I even doubt that we... Because nature, you know, is like this, you know, earthquakes and hurricanes and who knows what. Report an error in the passage at 44:37
45:36 So this realm we're living in is a realm of continuous change, which means beginning and ending, birth and death. And listen, I'm not condemning that. I'm not saying it's wrong, but it is that way. And when we observe this, without wishing it were otherwise, we begin to find contentment within ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 45:36
46:02 We find an inner peace, a stillness. We're not looking for the answers or solutions or trying to endlessly try to control a situation to make life into what we want it to be, but we have the ability to. Accept life, to learn from it. We have, human beings are very adaptable. We can adapt ourselves to extreme situations, to Report an error in the passage at 46:02
46:37 change, in whatever way it happens. Individually, our health, how do we know that we're going to, you know, health can take turn for the worse, as probably many of you are aware. There's no guarantee that one's going to have perfect health for the whole lifespan. Report an error in the passage at 46:37
46:59 Now then the wisdom faculty is allowing us then to not be overwhelmed and victimized by the changing conditions that we're experiencing. Report an error in the passage at 46:59
47:14 If we don't know this then we tend to let life overwhelm us. We become life's victims. We feel something, you know, we feel... We're inadequate in ourselves. We either blame ourselves, thinking it's my fault I'm not good enough. We blame others. If my parents, if my society had been more understanding, I would have been a better, happier person. Report an error in the passage at 47:14
47:47 It's like you're really willing to learn from the way it is and the way that you're experiencing it individually, the way your physical constitution. Your emotional habits and memories and so forth, both from the good and the bad, the right and wrong. And so in this way, an awakened individual, a consciousness that is being used for reflection, for understanding rather than just creating Report an error in the passage at 47:47
48:29 And recreating the same old things over and over into consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 48:29
48:37 So life does get boring and tedious and on a personal level it is unsatisfying because personally, you know, the personality is conditioned towards the extremities, towards wanting the best and wanting to get rid of the worst. But when we begin to understand this, observe it, notice it, then we Let go. We're not a personality anymore. Even though the personality can still function, our relationship to it changes from identity, blind attachment, a victim of our conditioning, to developing this cultivating understanding, wisdom. Report an error in the passage at 48:37
49:26 And from this comes compassion, loving kindness. And these manifest through. The wisdom faculty through understanding. And then the inner conflicts, the old wars that take place within one's own mind. These become resolved. You can resolve these conflicts, the war, the internal war. What can we do about the one in the Middle East? Report an error in the passage at 49:26
49:58 You know, I go over there and say, stop fighting now. You know, if they stopped fighting, I'd do that. If I thought for one moment they'd listen to me, I'd... Beyond the next flight. They don't like to see what's happening there. It's horrible. But I doubt seriously whether they would take me, take any interest. Report an error in the passage at 49:58
50:19 They'd probably shoot me or something. Report an error in the passage at 50:19
50:26 Buddhism doesn't have a lot of clout in the Middle East, by the way. Report an error in the passage at 50:26
50:35 Now the war then, the internal war, is contemplated. Now this is my reflection anyway. Just noticing the, you know, like I've had this, what they call in Freudian terminology, the super ego. Or the intellect, the thinking process that is trained to think in terms of right and wrong, of good and bad. It's very judgmental. It's, you know, it always knows what's right. Report an error in the passage at 50:35
51:15 And what's wrong, and especially about the way I think and behave. And then emotionally, there's another level. Now emotions aren't rational. They're not logical or sensible. But they certainly are real, aren't they? When you feel happy or sad or love or hate or rage or jealousy or fear. I mean, rationally, we might not like them at all. Disapprove. I disapprove of jealousy. A Buddhist monk should never feel jealous as an ideal. Report an error in the passage at 51:15
51:59 And then when jealousy arises, you shouldn't feel like that. That's bad. You're a Buddhist monk now, and you should have muditā, which is sympathetic joy. Report an error in the passage at 51:59
52:15 And I agree. I totally agree with that. Report an error in the passage at 52:15
52:23 But that's not what I'm feeling. Report an error in the passage at 52:23
52:28 Emotionally in the present, the feeling of jealousy maybe. It's like this. So there's a conflict and the war starts. You shouldn't feel like that. You're a bad monk because that is not the right way to feel. Report an error in the passage at 52:28
52:47 That's immature and you shouldn't be like that. Then the emotions... It's not fair. And then, you know, for me it tends to suppress the emotion because emotions aren't reasonable and they're too difficult to deal with. And oftentimes you just want to, you don't want to know that. So a lot of emotional suppression goes on, especially from my experience. Report an error in the passage at 52:47
53:18 You repress a lot of negative things. Fear, another one. Like a man should be fearless, a brave, courageous male figure that doesn't shake and shiver in frightening situations. So that's the ideal. So when a frightening situation happens and I find myself shaking and shivering, the super ego says, you're a weakling. Report an error in the passage at 53:18
53:50 You're not brave at all. You're a phony. You tell people you're brave and you act brave, but you're not. You think you're really tough and stable and courageous, but inside you're all jelly. And that's the superego. It's judgmental. And then the emotional thing, I'm afraid, frightened, scares me to death, I can't cope with this kind of thing. Report an error in the passage at 53:50
54:20 Now the heroic, courageous figure, an ideal so that that's what we know I've used to kind of and Report an error in the passage at 54:20
54:36 my emotional experiences. Report an error in the passage at 54:36
54:41 then the conflict in life is, you know, between say the emotional experiences, The intellectual activity is not sensitive. Report an error in the passage at 54:41
54:57 You can't feel things through your intellect, so you cut yourself off by clinging to ideals and the intellectual activities of your mind, and you suppress or judge or feel guilty about the feeling aspect of being human. And so the war takes place, and the body also. If you're intellectual, you don't take that much interest in your body. Report an error in the passage at 54:57
55:29 Except you judge it according to a standard of ideal male body and how it should look and then the realities of it you're only critical of. So just observing this, how we are programmed and conditioned in this way so that conflict is inevitable inside our own mind. Report an error in the passage at 55:29
55:57 So then in terms of The Middle East, you know, we think Israel shouldn't be like that. And then we look at the Hezbollah or the Hamas, and they're determined to punish or get rid of the Israelis. Report an error in the passage at 55:57
56:24 And they have a point too. Report an error in the passage at 56:24
56:28 You know, so they've got grounds to feel very righteous. They've got plenty to complain about. And resentments are just based on nothing but memory, isn't it? It's based on remembering. And the realities of, especially in places like Gaza, of people living there. So resentment arises and then blaming. Report an error in the passage at 56:28
56:58 And this all is a result of never resolving the conflict internally in one's own mind. So that's where... I encourage meditation because this is what we can actually do. We can resolve the conflict within by understanding it, not by taking sides with it. I'm not rejecting intellectuality. I'm not saying there's anything wrong or bad with it. Report an error in the passage at 56:58
57:32 It's just I might misuse it. Maybe I've never learned how to use my intellect properly. My emotional life, you know, in emotional experience, what is that? You know, it's being human, isn't it? We're emotional creatures. We have fear and jealousy and love and hate. We want security. We want to be received and respected and loved and liked and appreciated. And we fear. Report an error in the passage at 57:32
58:06 Being humiliated and rejected and criticized. And we know in a society that we live in that sometimes we're going to be praised and respected, other times we're going to be despised and humiliated. That these are ever-present possibilities or experiences. That we want to be happy and loving and we fear, we dread the fact that our lives may be just a series of experiences we want good health and strong constitutions and vigorous bodies and youthful appearance Report an error in the passage at 58:06
59:09 What if I get terminal illness? What if the things I depend on, what if my partner dies or the things I depend on are taken away from me? Report an error in the passage at 59:09
59:34 So emotionally we have a lot of fear because we know that that's a possibility. All that is mine, Beloved and pleasing will become otherwise. Grief is always an emotion that sometimes we're quite surprised with because when somebody really important, somebody we love and are close to dies, it's different than just knowing they're going to die, isn't it, while they're still alive. Report an error in the passage at 59:34
1:00:06 The reality of loss is like this. And so in meditation we're learning to receive. These emotional habits, without criticizing them, without claiming them as, labeling them as mature or immature or stupid or whatever, but recognizing that even childish emotions, we might think some emotions are quite childish, but they are the way they are. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:06
1:00:39 And so when we call them childish, then there's always a sense of disparaging. I shouldn't... I shouldn't have childish emotions at 72, a monk of 40 years. My emotions should always be very mature, is the ideal, isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 1:00:39
1:00:59 But a man my age, with my experience in life, Buddhist monk, dedicated to meditation, having childish emotions, it's disgusting. That's an intellectual judgment, isn't it? The reality, if such an emotion arises, Report an error in the passage at 1:00:59
1:01:18 Through understanding the dhamma, then childish emotions, or whatever they are, they're emotions. There's no need to even call them childish. They are what they are. So like not getting my own way. So I want something done a certain way, and then the rest of Saṅgha doesn't want it done that way. They say, no, we aren't going to do it like you want. And then maybe I might feel sulking. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:18
1:01:51 You know, I could sulk and pout. Quite capable of that. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:51
1:01:59 Well, that's what children do, isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 1:01:59
1:02:05 So, you know, but the awareness of this doesn't mean, you know, not a personal judgment of my, you know, the term how I've wasted my life. Still at 72, I still can pout and insult. And then despise myself for doing so. Now I know that if such an emotion arises, it is what it is. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:05
1:02:35 I know better than to even label it as childish or put the shouldn'ts onto it. Or claim it in some kind of personal defect. It's a willingness to receive life. And that means receiving it in all its aspects. In its good, bad aspects, everything. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:35
1:02:58 And then the conflict resolves itself. Once you're aware, once you're really aware that when you don't get your own way you feel like this, it's no longer a problem. It resolves itself. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:58
1:03:13 And so then you become, you are someone who knows how to resolve conflict in yourself. Then you might be able to influence others when the opportunity arises. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:13
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Talk by Ajahn Sumedho. Original at Amaravati Buddhist Monastery via Internet Archive: https://archive.org/details/ajahn-sumedho-dhamma-talks. Licensed CC BY-NC-ND 4.0. Transcript generated automatically and may contain errors; the audio is the authoritative version.
Talks of Ajahn Sumedho, archived on Internet Archive. More from Amaravati