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- 1:34
Now this is what I've found. You begin to notice a kind of resonating vibratory. It's like a sound, but it isn't like a sound that begins and ends, like do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do kind of thing, but it's more like a flowing stream. And it has a kind of almost electrical vibration to it.
- 3:52
But when you're not like space is another one, it's immeasurable, isn't it? Space in terms of visual conscious, visual space through the eyes, you know. space visual space you know you have perspective because on the conditions on the things in the space well the same is with sound of silence it's like like it's like I use it as a sign of consciousness, pure consciousness, where then I have perspective on the thoughts, emotions, conditions that I'm experiencing in consciousness.
- 29:30
So say the word condition always implies a beginning and end of something. It has a birth and a death or a beginning or an end. Well that applies to the body, to sensory experience. intellectual experience thoughts emotions they all begin and end their conditions the unconditioned now you can't I can't imagine unconditioned it has no form I can imagine any form you know even a fantasy even a you know form that doesn't exist except the one I create you know so I can fantasize or create forms
- 45:01
Like you can have a bad thought, but it's not immoral. It becomes immoral when you act on it or speak on it. So, I mean, this is a good reflection because in... Christianity, I was taught, you know, that having a bad thought is also immoral. You can have immoral thoughts. So then, you know, you're an immoral person if you have immoral thoughts.
- 59:05
Judge them and feel guilty about them and then hate yourself for feeling some way that you feel isn't very good. And that's what I found quite challenging because I am quite an altruistic person on a personal level. So there's many tendencies I have that I don't like.
Transcript
0:03 This is an opportunity now, if you have questions or want to discuss anything about this subject, feel free to do so. Report an error in the passage at 0:03
0:23 This is interesting. don't you help us to enter this consciousness? Report an error in the passage at 0:23
0:34 um... Report an error in the passage at 0:34
0:48 is an interesting question. Question, because like I found in my own practice, when I talk about this sound of silence, in fact there's a book coming out I think next month called Sound of Silence, which is my book. Report an error in the passage at 0:48
1:23 But Report an error in the passage at 1:23
1:27 this is, you know, in exploring consciousness, Now this is what I've found. You begin to notice a kind of resonating vibratory. Report an error in the passage at 1:27
1:48 It's like a sound, but it isn't like a sound that begins and ends, like do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do kind of thing, but it's more like a flowing stream. Report an error in the passage at 1:48
2:08 And it has a kind of almost electrical vibration to it. And it's recognizable when you're kind of just relaxed and you're not absorbed in anything. So I noticed this in the early years, in the first year, in fact, when I was a novice monk before becoming a bhikkhu in Thailand, I began to notice this. Report an error in the passage at 2:08
2:39 This, what I refer to as sound of silence. So it's, I encourage people to recognize this because it is, I found it very helpful because what it does is it, once you recognize it, then you kind of integrate it because it's everywhere and isn't dependent on conditions. So, you know, at first you don't notice it or... Report an error in the passage at 2:39
3:09 You think it's maybe something, you know, you project it as something caused from without. But in terms of what it is, I don't really know myself. Report an error in the passage at 3:09
3:21 But it certainly works, you know, if you're willing to use it. It's like, it is, you know, like the immeasurable, immeasurables. Like the ego is all based on the sense of identity and form, what you contain in a form or has a shape or a color or a taste, has some quality to it, beautiful or ugly, good or bad. Report an error in the passage at 3:21
3:52 But when you're not like space is another one, it's immeasurable, isn't it? Space in terms of visual conscious, visual space through the eyes, you know. Report an error in the passage at 3:52
4:16 space visual space you know you have perspective because on the conditions on the things in the space well the same is with sound of silence it's like like it's like I use it as a sign of consciousness, pure consciousness, where then I have perspective on the thoughts, emotions, conditions that I'm experiencing in consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 4:16
4:44 So it works, that's how I've used it. Because I've trained myself to notice this all the time. Whether it's a noisy situation or peaceful, whether it's in... Satsang with Mooji Satsang with Mooji monastery or a committee meeting or train myself like when somebody like when people are angry with me Report an error in the passage at 4:44
5:16 time one of the monks got really angry with me and I thought this is a good opportunity to be in the sound of silence. I was with his anger, you know, I could receive it and I could be aware of my own reaction at the same time. So it gives, it's like consciousness reduced, a point that you can reduce that has no dimension. Report an error in the passage at 5:16
5:46 So it's like it's dimensionless, it's immeasurable. Now, consciousness is like that. Consciousness has no measure, you can't measure it. You can measure what you put into consciousness, like your thoughts and emotions and qualities of good, bad, and pleasure, painful. But consciousness is like space. It's the receiver of the conditions, but not the condition. So that's where, when you use the... Report an error in the passage at 5:46
6:18 Sound of silence as a skillful means, and not to attach to it, it's some kind of thing, but it's merely an expedient means towards recognizing and appreciating your ability to just be aware, connected in awareness, to where you have perspective on your own feelings of the moment, or whether you're feeling peaceful or confused or upset or whatever. Report an error in the passage at 6:18
6:53 So it's like in so much of the vipassanā that has been taught in the West is so aimed at seeing condition phenomena, noticing condition phenomena as niccaducanata or seeing its impermanence and its not-self. And sometimes it's not, you know, it's not recognized this natural state where Report an error in the passage at 6:53
7:27 So, like the four elements in regards to material world, earth, fire, water and air, conditioned world. Then there's also, there's six elements altogether, earth, fire, water, air, space and consciousness. Now, space and consciousness, they're not measurable. They have no form. You can't... you can define them but you can recognize them like space I don't have to define space for you because you can look at it or consciousness you know you don't have to go to the poly dictionary or some Oxford dictionary on what is the meaning of consciousness but recognize this is consciousness and it's interesting in England now Report an error in the passage at 7:27
8:23 In Europe, in America, there's so much interest in consciousness because this is the least understood reality in psychology. Report an error in the passage at 8:23
8:34 Because consciousness is seen in very limited ways or through definitions rather than recognized. This is where mindfulness allows you to recognize this natural state that we're all experiencing. Report an error in the passage at 8:34
8:53 And recognizing it, then is not defining it, but merely acknowledging it. It's this. It's a fact. It's real. I can't create consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 8:53
9:05 It's operating right now. I can create thoughts into it. Or, you know, whether people are nice to me or nasty to me, I can create emotions, reactions in consciousness. And so Sound of Silence is the kind of way I've found skillful means to rest in this reality of consciousness in which the, you know, where the thought of self, me and mine and my own habit patterns can arise and cease. Report an error in the passage at 9:05
9:44 And more and more you, through this way of training yourself, you, you know, you... Report an error in the passage at 9:44
9:53 The illusions, all the kind of limitations you place on yourself fall away. They're just no longer real for you. Before I knew this, I was very much concerned with myself all the time, as Report an error in the passage at 9:53
10:17 a person. Somebody that needs this and likes this doesn't like that. That's how I define myself. You know, then created a life around these illusions of self. Report an error in the passage at 10:17
10:38 Yes? Report an error in the passage at 10:38
10:44 I get Report an error in the passage at 10:44
10:55 fed up with it very easily. And sometimes with feelings as well. Yeah, it is. I mean, boredom. Because it's... You know, like most of our, the conditioned part of our existence is always seeking interesting or distractions to be interested or entertained or, you know, just enjoying the senses, you know, eating food or, you know, doing things where we have interesting or pleasant experiences or trying to run away or get away from pain or boredom. Report an error in the passage at 10:55
11:46 But this is where, you know, in monastic life, monastic life can be incredibly boring. Report an error in the passage at 11:46
11:58 So you have every opportunity. Report an error in the passage at 11:58
12:05 But also, as you begin, you know, enduring and recognizing boredom and reflecting on it, like, you know, observing your own restlessness. Report an error in the passage at 12:05
12:22 Impatience or aversion to it. Without holding, you know, then we think we've got to hold to this and you make it into a cause celeb again. But don't do that. Just trust yourself more. Don't think you have to conquer boredom because that's another self-delusion. Report an error in the passage at 12:22
12:46 But you don't have, you know, I find then boredom isn't particularly a problem after a while. But, you know, like peace is boring. Report an error in the passage at 12:46
12:57 Peacefulness. And people want peace when they don't have it, but when you've got it, you like a little excitement. Report an error in the passage at 12:57
13:17 Yeah? Report an error in the passage at 13:17
13:42 Well, it is how you, you know, your own, once you kind of see how you create the language, you know, I am somebody. excitement. Report an error in the passage at 13:42
· · · silence, 1 minute
13:56 Then you can just use it according to, you know, you're no longer just, you're no longer believing or limiting yourself to the sakya-ditti or the self-view anymore. So then, you know, you can't use the pronoun I. But where it goes off is claiming on a personal level states that some kind of personal attainment or Or you can reflect on your own, you know, I am more aware than I was before. That's more of a reflection than a statement about myself as a person. Report an error in the passage at 13:56
14:43 So, you know, like if, you know, speaking about when I, say, when I first started meditating, and 40 years later, Report an error in the passage at 14:43
14:59 You know, I can say, well, you know, certainly there, I would put it, I tend to put it, there is more awareness than I'm more aware than I was then. Because I somehow can't use that so much anymore, the I am form. But there's nothing wrong with it. It's just the way I've practiced with it, I no longer like to use it. So, you know, more put it in terms like there is more. Report an error in the passage at 14:59
15:29 There is more understanding, more, there is wisdom, there is awareness. And it's connected, like awareness and consciousness working together. And then wisdom, paññā, or where you're informing, you know, so you're like informing consciousness. Because, you know, even a crazy person is still conscious, totally mad, you know, maniacs conscious. Report an error in the passage at 15:29
15:59 But it's not that they're unconscious, but they're not aware and they're not informing consciousness with wisdom. So like informing consciousness is like recognizing this is consciousness. And then you're discerning, you know, like in monastic life. You have this discipline, the vinaya, and the sīla, morality. So you're committed to, in terms of how you relate to your own body, your own personal needs, and the society you're in, is prescribed by this form, which is based on doing good, refraining from doing bad, and on restraint. Report an error in the passage at 15:59
16:52 So it gives you a kind of, you know, that's a convention, but it also, you know, gives you a sense of how to act and, you know, do good. When one has good thoughts, one feels encouraged to act on them, or when one has bad thoughts, you're still recognizing them, but you're not putting them into action. Report an error in the passage at 16:52
17:18 But you're still aware of them as dhamma, as impermanent conditions changing. So like our relationship to the world around us, to the society we're in is, you know, is based on to do good and refrain from doing evil. But then in the reality of our lives is the flow, as we experience life, then we have good thoughts and bad thoughts and we get, we feel love and we feel hate and And the conditions change according to other conditions. But if, you know, hating and anger towards somebody or something is still recognized in terms of Buddha knowing the dharma, but not speaking or acting on it. Report an error in the passage at 17:18
18:11 So this, I think, is very important because We can feel guilty about the way we're thinking. The way I was brought up is you feel guilty about having bad thoughts. Report an error in the passage at 18:11
18:34 Guilt is one of the neurotic problems of the West, Western world. The Judeo-Christian kind of guilt problems. So, you know, a lot, and we thought, Report an error in the passage at 18:34
18:48 Because we do, we condemn our bad thoughts, that I'm bad if I have bad thoughts. There's a logic there, you know, if I have bad thoughts, I'm a bad person. Report an error in the passage at 18:48
19:00 And that you shouldn't hate, you should love people, and all the kind of ideals of what should be, according to, you know, the best you can think of. is it? Report an error in the passage at 19:00
19:15 And then the realities of your own existence, you know, where you'd like to be kind and loving and generous and good all the time, but then you find, you know, you're angry or jealous or frightened or resentful and then you feel guilty about it. Or if you trust your awareness, then you're just recognizing this as dharma, that being human is like this, you know, humans aren't. Report an error in the passage at 19:15
19:44 We have our own peculiar tendencies, our individual patterns, our own kind of karmas to deal with. So we've got different habits, different inclinations, different expectations. expectations. Report an error in the passage at 19:44
20:10 That, you know, nobody is the exact duplicate of somebody else. So when you're trying to, when you're saying how you should be, it's always in relationship to the ideal. What, you know, the ideal is the best. But this is where awakened, awaken with consciousness, it's observing the way it is rather than... Report an error in the passage at 20:10
21:06 shouldn't be the way I am. Sakyadity is still Sakyadity or personality view. Report an error in the passage at 21:06
21:16 And that's something I found living in the community of monks and nuns is, you know, you have ideals of what monks and nuns should be. Report an error in the passage at 21:16
21:32 And then when you're living with them, and myself included, none of us are ideals. And then I used to think, well, they should be, you know, a good nun should be like this, a good monk should be. And then I listened to that. I want people to be what I think they should be. I think that's conceit. Who do I think I am that I should tell you how you should be, you know, according to what I think. Report an error in the passage at 21:32
22:11 So then more and more, you know, you begin to just accept people for the way they are. You know, because each one of us has to learn from the way we are. I can't learn from the way you are. I've got to learn the way I am, you know, this peculiar being here. Report an error in the passage at 22:11
22:30 And so that makes it much more easy than if you're looking, you know, like I've seen monks do this, where they'll think, oh, that monk's a really good monk. I can never be like him. He sits so straight. So strict and he never makes a mistake, never puts a foot wrong, always on time. You know, so impeccable, his robe's always neat. Report an error in the passage at 22:30
23:04 I could never be like that. Report an error in the passage at 23:04
23:09 That's not the point, is it? To try to look at somebody else and then judge yourself accordingly. you think. Report an error in the passage at 23:09
23:20 But we do we tend to do that at first because that's how we're conditioned to see you know look for impeccable examples or ideals and then inevitably they'll disappoint us in some way or another you know that they that that's only you know that's what we think they are isn't really what they are at all. Report an error in the passage at 23:20
23:41 So this is where you know when you're trying to make yourself into something somebody else you only fail and So, even if you don't like yourself, it doesn't matter. This is what you have to learn from. Report an error in the passage at 23:41
24:00 And once I realized that, it's kind of a relief, you know, that I don't have to change, you know, try to make myself into this kind of ideal monk anymore, but just learn from the way I am. Report an error in the passage at 24:00
24:17 There are so many qualities that I can judge as inferior or not good. I don't bother anymore because I realize that that just increases this sense that I am these conditions. Report an error in the passage at 24:17
24:38 And then inevitably what we all want is to be accepted the way we are, not with conditions. I love you when you change your ways and live up to my ideals. But once you misbehave, out you go. That's it. Report an error in the passage at 24:38
25:03 And that's what we're afraid, isn't it, of being rejected by others and ostracized or dismissed. And yet we do it to ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 25:03
25:19 Looking at my own life, the worst critic is myself, towards myself. Nobody I can think of has ever been as nasty to me as I have been to myself. Report an error in the passage at 25:19
25:41 Yes? Report an error in the passage at 25:41
25:59 Well, if you're not the body and you're not the conditions, you can't imagine what happens when the body dies. But as you recognize and trust in pure consciousness, this question resolves itself. Report an error in the passage at 25:59
26:20 Because death is about, like when we use the word death, it's about the physical death of the body, which for me isn't happening right now. It seems alive enough. But, you know, I know it's going to, when the time comes, it will. die, but I, you know. But that's in the future. So death at this very moment, in terms of the reality of this moment, is the future. Report an error in the passage at 26:20
26:52 It's inevitable. The body will die. But at this moment, I'm experiencing consciousness through this form. And that's all I need to trust in, is this awareness. Through the limitation of form, not through judging it in terms of qualities, but recognizing that having a human body, human birth, it is a limited form. Report an error in the passage at 26:52
27:25 Each body is limited. Each one of these forms is inevitably limited. It has a form and you can only operate and do so many things. You can only be in the same place. You can't be in all kinds of places at the same time. So recognizing the limitation of form, but consciousness, then recognizing the consciousness as formless and deathless. Report an error in the passage at 27:25
27:59 Do you think consciousness ceases when the body dies? But consciousness is, you know, the sense of oneself ceases, but that you can witness while the body's still alive. Report an error in the passage at 27:59
28:15 You know, you can recognize non-self while you're still breathing, the body's still active. Report an error in the passage at 28:15
28:27 And so, you know, then the fear of death falls away because, you know, ultimately it's just about... It's just a process of change of conditioned phenomena. It's not applying to yourself anymore, limited by that sense of identity as a separate self because of your identity with your physical form. Report an error in the passage at 28:27
28:56 Impossible to understand it in terms of an image. image because like, Report an error in the passage at 28:56
29:13 The, like when I use the word the deathless or the unconditioned. Now these are words, say unconditioned, like the condition and the unconditioned. So say the word condition always implies a beginning and end of something. It has a birth and a death or a beginning or an end. Well that applies to the body, to sensory experience. Report an error in the passage at 29:13
29:45 intellectual experience thoughts emotions they all begin and end their conditions the unconditioned now you can't I can't imagine unconditioned it has no form I can imagine any form you know even a fantasy even a you know form that doesn't exist except the one I create you know so I can fantasize or create forms And they give them colors or qualities and so forth. But the formless, the unconditioned, I can't imagine. Report an error in the passage at 29:45
30:29 So the word itself, unconditioned, tends to sound like an abstraction. But then through awareness, you'll recognize the unconditioned is consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 30:29
30:45 It's just this. It's a fact. It's not some abstract concept, intellectual concept anymore. It's not a metaphysical concept or something that only, you know, applies to the thought process. But just, you know, experiment. Imaging, imagination is always about giving a form to something. A Buddha image, you're giving a form to... Report an error in the passage at 30:45
31:14 You can imagine a Buddha. You can imagine a personality. Report an error in the passage at 31:14
31:31 You can imagine happiness, unhappiness. You can imagine success and failure. You can imagine all kinds of things, you know. But then in terms of... What you can't imagine, unconditioned, formlessness, deathlessness. So then this relationship of the unconditioned and the conditioned is to be examined in your own consciousness, like this sense of not knowing and of just pure attention and awareness. Report an error in the passage at 31:31
32:16 It's not a condition I create, but I can recognize it through observing, through attentiveness. It's this. And then the conditions are in the perspective of that. They come and go according to other conditions. Report an error in the passage at 32:16
32:40 This is learning to explore, investigate your own conditions. Assumptions or language or thoughts or, you know, because we're so attached to concepts and ideas and definitions. Okay, prove God, you know. Can you bring God here and prove it to me and I'll believe. I'm not stupid. I'm going to believe in God. You've got to prove it in a test tube or manifest in some way. Report an error in the passage at 32:40
33:16 Or you can believe there isn't any. I'm not even going to bother with that. There couldn't be. I don't believe in God. That's not mindfulness or wisdom. That's merely a choice you make, to believe or disbelieve. So then, this is pretty daring of me, but because this word God is so significant in our culture. Report an error in the passage at 33:16
33:47 Whether you believe or not believe, or you're Christian or Jewish or not, the word itself has its effect on our consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 33:47
34:02 So beginning to recognize, like I was saying before, how the word itself, from the early conditioning of being brought up in Christian family, is a rather patriarchal, Old man in the sky who's judging you. The father, the authority figure that scolds you when you're naughty. Report an error in the passage at 34:02
34:28 And so your God tends to be more of a tyrant in some way. And then it changes to an all-loving God who loves you no matter what. But it's still a concept of somebody, some force out there that loves me as something separate. Now, when they call this internalizing this, is, you know, what do you mean by God? What is this? Report an error in the passage at 34:28
35:05 It's a word, three-letter word. We use it for exclamation. We say, oh my God. Use it for cursing or things like that. So we use it all kinds of extreme ways. But in Buddhist terms, you'd say it's the unconditioned. Or it's the dhamma. It's dhamma. Now Lungpo Chah said this himself when he was in England in 1979. Report an error in the passage at 35:05
35:37 And we went to an Anglican seminary down in Sussex. They invited us. And so the Christians, you know, they've got this problem with Buddhism because they believe we're all atheists. That Buddhists don't believe in God and that we're atheists. Because then they think that people who don't believe in the God they believe in is an atheist. Report an error in the passage at 35:37
36:06 You see, so Lungphacha was... So these seminarian students were asking what God is in Buddhism and Lungpho Chah immediately said, dhamma. Report an error in the passage at 36:06
36:20 Well, that makes sense. You see, dhamma isn't masculine or feminine. You know, it is not, it doesn't, it isn't, it doesn't, you can't form a dhammarupa. You can form a buddharupa, but not a dhammarupa. Report an error in the passage at 36:20
36:39 Dhamma has no form. So you use a symbol like a wheel or something like that. You have the Dhamma Jakka. It's a symbol. It's not the Dhamma. It's a symbol only. So Dhamma itself has, you know, say, practice, you know, recognize the Dhamma. What is the Dhamma? You know, so you want me to tell you rather than you recognizing the reality of now, you see. Report an error in the passage at 36:39
37:07 So this is where the emphasis is put in this, awaken, you know, wake up and look for yourself, realize for yourself the reality of now. Report an error in the passage at 37:07
37:18 So then you can say God is now. But how can you prove that to somebody else? You know, it's impossible to prove it. You can prove it to yourself though. And then in, you know, in more, in Christian mystics you find this. You know, this is reality, so it's not just you have to only do it through Buddhism, but it's recognizable. But the problem with any religious convention is attachment to the convention. Report an error in the passage at 37:18
38:00 So you never get beyond the convention. You're merely stuck with a convention, which then is always in contrast to some other religious convention. So you get Sunnis and Shiites butchering each other. Protestants and Catholics Report an error in the passage at 38:00
38:20 Terahina Yana, I don't know, like this, or forest tradition. Report an error in the passage at 38:20
38:29 I mean you can always define yourselves according to the convention or use the convention for awareness. Well, to me this is, you know, Buddhism, what the teaching of the Buddha is, is not trying to make us into Buddhists, but to awaken us to realize dharma, ultimate or reality. It's real. It's not imagined. It's not fantasy. It's not something we don't have. Report an error in the passage at 38:29
39:02 It's just we don't recognize because we're caught up in our delusions as our reality. And as long as we do that, then we're suffering. We always feel this sense of threat or inadequacy or insecurity. Report an error in the passage at 39:02
39:21 So I remember, you know, people that have moments where they're at their peak in their life, they've been very successful. I remember this one man said, you know, Ajahn Sumedho, I've never been happier in my life. He said, I love my... I'm very satisfied with my profession. I have a wonderful wife and a beautiful daughter. And life has never been so good and so wonderful as it is at this moment. Report an error in the passage at 39:21
39:50 But he says, it frightens me because I know it's not going to stay this way. Report an error in the passage at 39:50
40:00 I haven't seen him since. I don't know. Report an error in the passage at 40:00
40:08 ha, ha. Report an error in the passage at 40:08
40:14 But that's a statement of even the conditioned realm at its best. Still this sense of insecurity arises. You know, you can't sustain things at a peak, at their best. All they can do is change. And then, you know, things don't get changed for the better continuously. They change, and when their time comes, then they cease. They arise and they cease. So this is a... Report an error in the passage at 40:14
40:45 This is the pattern of conditioned phenomena that the Buddha emphasizes, anicca. Or like your breath, you know, you're just observing your breath. You know, you can't inhale forever. You've got to inhale so far and then you can't inhale anymore. And you've got to exhale. That's the basic pattern of conditioned phenomena. Report an error in the passage at 40:45
41:08 Whether it's thinking or, you know, very short, brief. Or, you know, eons of time or whatever, it's still, you know, it's not a matter of time or quality, but all conditioned phenomena, whether it's refined or coarse, it has this common characteristic of impermanency, shame. Report an error in the passage at 41:08
· · · silence, 1 minute
42:10 Pāli they have this Hiri Otapa, which can be translated as shame. We have words like guilt, shame, probably Report an error in the passage at 42:10
42:30 other, where they convey a sense of like having a conscience where you know you've done wrong. Like if I tell a lie, if I should say something untrue. Report an error in the passage at 42:30
42:46 I know that there's a sense of shame involved in that. So then it can go into guilt. Report an error in the passage at 42:46
43:01 If I recognize that I've said something not true, then I can rectify it. I can apologize or do something about it if I can. If I can't, then I just have to... Acknowledge it, it's finished, but not carry it into guilt. But guilt always is around the personality, the sense of your self-worth that you create. Report an error in the passage at 43:01
43:31 So in Hiri Otapa, this doesn't mean guilt. It's not like you should be guilty about all the bad thoughts you have or all the sins you've committed in your life. And that is not good advice. That makes your life more miserable. But shame is just part of our human condition that allows us to see the results of deceit or lying or doing things that are unkind or inconsiderate. But then if we create it through the self, through the ego, then it becomes, become guilty. Report an error in the passage at 43:31
44:29 Remorse and shame. and up in, you know, fear and self-hatred, which has no, you know, which is just, makes life miserable for us. Report an error in the passage at 44:29
44:45 remorse and shame. And then we have, and that's where like in the Buddhist sense of sīla, of morality, it's all about action and speech, not about thought. Like you can have a bad thought, but it's not immoral. Report an error in the passage at 44:45
45:09 It becomes immoral when you act on it or speak on it. So, I mean, this is a good reflection because in... Christianity, I was taught, you know, that having a bad thought is also immoral. You can have immoral thoughts. So then, you know, you're an immoral person if you have immoral thoughts. But in Buddhism, you see, it's much more practical that you can have bad thoughts or unskillful thoughts. But then we determine to not act on those thoughts. Report an error in the passage at 45:09
45:50 Or speak on them. So then it doesn't... We haven't broken our determination to do good and refrain from doing bad. And we're using even the bad for wisdom. Seeing its true nature as impermanent and not self. So we're no longer afraid of bad or identified with it or limited by it. We understand it. Report an error in the passage at 45:50
46:19 If we don't understand evil or badness, then we're afraid of it. It's like trying to destroy the axis of evil, like the present American administration. Report an error in the passage at 46:19
46:37 I mean, you're not going to destroy the axis of evil. It's part of the package. you know joking Report an error in the passage at 46:37
46:47 He could commit suicide. That's not the answer either. But it's to recognize, you know, through awareness, not through critical judgments. Report an error in the passage at 46:47
47:07 Because oftentimes evil can appear very radiant and beautiful. It's not that it all, you know, it's easily recognized if it's breathing fire and has a forked tail. Thank you for your time. judgments about what's right and wrong or good or bad. Report an error in the passage at 47:07
47:47 So this means that you can flow with experience. If you don't have this kind of understanding, then we tend to always create obstructions in our lives through our fears. Report an error in the passage at 47:47
48:08 And this friend of mine recently told me his mother was, you know, she died quite a few years ago, but his mother was very, Devout Roman Catholic and a very good person, you know, she's very moral, very wholesome kind of woman, lived her life, you know, in a good way. And when she was dying, she was afraid of death because she felt she wasn't good enough. And so this sense of self, you know, no matter how good you might try to be. Report an error in the passage at 48:08
48:51 You can never be as good as you think you should be. And so that's where, you know, you can't just, trying to be good is certainly better than trying to be bad, but it's not liberating. It's through understanding good and bad, conditioned phenomena, that you're liberated from it. So it's all teaching you, you know, everything's teaching us. Report an error in the passage at 48:51
49:19 In our lives, you know, pleasure, pain, success, failure, old age, loss of friends and betrayals and disappointments and the whole range of human experience, if you allow it, teaches you about the nature of the dharma, about the way things are. Report an error in the passage at 49:19
49:47 When you see it like this, then you realize there's nothing to be afraid of because you're ready to learn from life rather than huddling in a corner trying to protect yourself from all kinds of possible miseries that you imagine. Report an error in the passage at 49:47
50:14 Yes? Report an error in the passage at 50:14
50:44 Observing, if someone says something harsh, I can feel it go right into the heart. And then I'll watch it, and it can get resolved, but I wonder if you have any ideas about how not to really take it in so much, observe it out here somewhere. Report an error in the passage at 50:44
51:03 Well, I think, like, the more you trust your awareness of it, then you're willing to let it be what it is. And then, you know, as it, and be patient with it. Report an error in the passage at 51:03
51:23 You know, so rather than trying to figure out how to kind of bypass it in any way, like Report an error in the passage at 51:23
51:36 I found, you know, like, like, I, Report an error in the passage at 51:36
51:45 you know, my character, my personality is one that tries to bypass things, you know, kind of avoid unpleasantness or, you know, so, you know, life's, you know, conditioned way of trying to avoid I had unpleasantness in my life. And it's only through, you know, because I could begin to see that, you know, what I was doing. Report an error in the passage at 51:45
52:14 And then more and more I became more willing to listen to others and to be more just receiving in ways that were before very threatening to me or painful. Report an error in the passage at 52:14
52:30 And eventually I realized, you know, I began to feel this strength in myself increase of just trusting in this knowing, this awareness, to where I wasn't creating any problem around my own emotional feeling or personal offense or hurt. Report an error in the passage at 52:30
52:53 So, but it does, like I found, determined to do that. So seeing it as opportunity rather than... You know, something to think that you're not practicing right and good enough because you still feel hurt or offended or upset by things. But to just be more patient with yourself. Report an error in the passage at 52:53
53:25 And also recognize that the world is like this. You know, this realm is about praise and blame, success and failure, happiness and suffering. Report an error in the passage at 53:25
53:38 And this is the way that the world is, you know, for everyone, not just you, but for everyone included. So whether you're a monk or a nun or a lay person, rich or poor, male or female, this is life the way life is. And I found that a kind of relief because, you know, I kept, you know, Thinking it shouldn't be like this. You know, it should be like, you know, and then I had these ideals of how I would like life to be. Report an error in the passage at 53:38
54:17 But after a while you begin to not demand anything from life. You just take it as it comes really. Roll with the flow. Report an error in the passage at 54:17
54:34 That's where so many of us have felt despair and disappointment in our lives because You know, we know how it should be. And we know how you should be if you were, you know, according to an ideal. So we end up disappointing ourselves. Like, say, somebody, well, you know, somebody will take a stand on something and come on very strong, you know, in taking a stand on an issue and then capitulate later on. Report an error in the passage at 54:34
55:12 And they'll feel embarrassed. And I just say, you know, inevitably in life we have to eat our own words. All the kind of bravado statements we used to make when we were young. Report an error in the passage at 55:12
55:25 And I remember one monk years ago, just before he disrobed, he wrote an article saying about never give up the robe. Report an error in the passage at 55:25
55:44 A kind of bravado statement of I'll never disrobe no matter what. A few months later he's wearing jeans. Report an error in the passage at 55:44
55:58 So Report an error in the passage at 55:58
56:03 it's, you know, I mean, when you're inspired or you're desperate, sometimes you come on strong, make statements. But that's where, you know, this mindfulness, you begin to see the pattern of how we create ourselves and even our good side, how we, you know, we... ha, ha, Report an error in the passage at 56:03
56:24 We might operate from good intentions and at the same time feel angry. You know, we perform our duty because we know it's the right thing to do, but at the same time feel angry about it and resentful. And so it's like duty and sense of what's right to do and yet what we really feel like. Report an error in the passage at 56:24
56:52 What we want to do emotionally might be very different from what we feel our duty calls us to do. And so we get very confused by our ideals and our emotions because they conflict. Report an error in the passage at 56:52
57:07 Emotions are not rational ideals, but they are very strong and real. Even if they're petty and mean, they still put the value. of mean-hearted and selfish but they are like this you know being selfish and mean-hearted is like this Report an error in the passage at 57:07
57:32 in terms of my altruistic sense, I don't like that. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be mean and nasty. But yet it doesn't mean I never have mean and nasty feelings. Report an error in the passage at 57:32
57:48 And then I would feel guilty about having these feelings. I shouldn't think like that. I shouldn't be like that. That's disgusting. A good monk should never have such selfish and mean-hearted thoughts. Report an error in the passage at 57:48
58:01 And then you get caught in creating. You know, I'm not what I should be. Report an error in the passage at 58:01
58:10 And so, you know, we tend to be frightened sometimes of that. We feel unworthy. Because we don't have the pure thoughts that a good monk should have all the time. So this awareness then is much more, you know, we're not expected to have good thoughts all the time. You know, cultivate goodness, but... Our vipakakamma is also part of our experience. So we have tendencies and impulses and inclinations in various ways that might not be very good or kind or benevolent. Report an error in the passage at 58:10
58:59 But the important thing is to be able to accept them for what they are rather than... Judge them and feel guilty about them and then hate yourself for feeling some way that you feel isn't very good. Report an error in the passage at 58:59
59:17 And that's what I found quite challenging because I am quite an altruistic person on a personal level. So there's many tendencies I have that I don't like. Report an error in the passage at 59:17
59:39 I know aren't very good, but also it's learning to recognize them. They are what they are. In terms of dharma, their condition's changing and they're not so. And as you keep reminding yourself of that, then you become less concerned about it. It's no longer a problem. And then the tendency to suppress and fool yourself and delude yourself falls away. Report an error in the passage at 59:39
1:00:08 So a lot of unresolved emotional habits, immature emotional habits or negative emotional habits, as you begin to recognize them and allow them into consciousness and let them go, then they resolve themselves because you're actually purifying the consciousness not through getting rid of them but by letting them go. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:08
1:00:40 But as soon as you start resisting them, you're attached to them. To resist something, you're actually attaching to it. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:40
1:01:12 That's all. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:12
1:01:17 They're not his. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:17
1:01:23 But this realm, let's reiterate that this realm is like this. It's a sensitive realm. You know, as long as you have a human body and senses operating, you're going to experience that impingement. And then the karma, vipaka karma, you know, of this incarnation, the way you are, you know, the karma of your past and things like this will arise. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:23
1:01:51 You know, when the conditions are present, then you'll feel like this or feel like that. But your awareness of them is all that's necessary. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:51
1:02:02 You see, then they are what they are, but you see, the real suffering is the judgment. You know, I shouldn't think like this, or this is bad, or I don't like this, and how can I get out of it? Then you're creating dukkha, or suffering, with the condition in the present. If you see it and know it from what it is, then it is what it is, so it feels still painful, but you're not resisting it. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:02
1:02:32 So I will Report an error in the passage at 1:02:32
1:03:02 let you go now. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:02
1:03:10 Next Sunday, someone else will give, because I'll be giving a retreat in the retreat center. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:10
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Talk by Ajahn Sumedho. Original at Amaravati Buddhist Monastery via Internet Archive: https://archive.org/details/ajahn-sumedho-dhamma-talks. Licensed CC BY-NC-ND 4.0. Transcript generated automatically and may contain errors; the audio is the authoritative version.
Talks of Ajahn Sumedho, archived on Internet Archive. More from Amaravati