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- 0:22
Emotions should be recognized as this is how it is. Can you give some advice on actually dealing with a very destructive emotion of anger? Yeah, I'm an expert on that. that
- 2:43
So this is like awareness is like a floodlight. It's suddenly lighting up the stage of this dharma. So you can see all aspects of it. And by, you know, like learning to just reflect on, you know, recognizing that anger is a kind of natural emotion to the species. It's not just you and where...
- 6:46
By recognizing this, and from there, then I have perspective on the anger, the tendency to get angry. So if I try to control the anger through my personality, then I just reinforce the whole fear reaction to it. But when I trust in awareness, mindfulness, then I have space for anger, because I'm not just...
- 11:29
You know, learning, it's a willingness to allow anger into consciousness without judging it. It's like this, you know. So, otherwise we judge it. You know, they all... That's angry. That's silly. I shouldn't get angry over something like that. Or these resentments. They're so petty. They're so silly.
- 28:36
And then if it's bad, you get rid of it, and if it's good, you try to hold on. And then in learning to just even think in a different way, like mettā practice I found helpful, where mettā loving-kindness, because mettā is indiscriminate. You know, even in the formal ways of spreading loving-kindness, you know, there's no preferences, it's not... spreading love to the good people but it's receiving the lord of death and the devils and the baddies as well as the angels and the devadas and the good ones
Transcript
0:00 This time you can ask questions or have a discussion. So it's up to you now. The ball is in your court. Report an error in the passage at 0:00
0:22 Emotions should be recognized as this is how it is. Can you give some advice on actually dealing with a very destructive emotion of anger? Report an error in the passage at 0:22
0:32 Yeah, I'm an expert on that. that Report an error in the passage at 0:32
0:43 Yes, because this is, like anger is a natural emotion. You know, it's a part of the package of being human. Report an error in the passage at 0:43
0:58 So it's, you know, and you can see that it's, you know, like the animal kingdom has it. Dogs get angry, cats get angry, and human beings get angry. Report an error in the passage at 0:58
1:11 But then the... Then the, you know, the suffering that we create is that we have values and standards, you know, like you shouldn't show anger, you shouldn't get angry, or anger is a bad thing, or you're a bad person because you get angry. Report an error in the passage at 1:11
1:31 And so anger becomes an experience that we often frightened of. Like I found I was very frightened of my own anger. Report an error in the passage at 1:31
1:45 I was brought up in a family where we were not allowed to show anger, you know, so you're not supposed to get angry and that's how you relearn, you know, as a child learn to repress the emotion and then you become frightened of it because it bursts out oftentimes in embarrassing situations. And then you start, you take it personally as if something I shouldn't, You know, I'm a bad person for being angry. So that's the intellect, isn't it? The superego saying, you shouldn't be angry and you shouldn't have said that and you shouldn't have, that was wrong and you're bad because you said something unkind and cruel and so forth. Report an error in the passage at 1:45
2:34 And then you feel guilty and feel guilty about it and get frightened. So this is like awareness is like a floodlight. It's suddenly lighting up the stage of this dharma. So you can see all aspects of it. And by, you know, like learning to just reflect on, you know, recognizing that anger is a kind of natural emotion to the species. Report an error in the passage at 2:34
3:08 It's not just you and where... On a personal level, we can be so caught in the sense of it's my fault, my weakness, my flaw, that we may not recognize it as just a part of the human experience. Report an error in the passage at 3:08
3:28 And that's why I encourage you to reflect on what being human really is, not from an ideal level of what it should be, but having a body, having senses, Report an error in the passage at 3:28
3:43 Being conscious, having a retentive memory, you remember things. So you can remember probably all kinds of humiliating experiences where you got angry and said things you shouldn't and so forth. And then you feel guilty and self-disparaging or feel despair about yourself. So this is... Report an error in the passage at 3:43
4:12 This is where turning on the light, the floodlight, waking up, in other words, you begin to notice this anger. Don't see it anymore as some personal flaw, but it's something you learn from. A lot of wisdom will develop in you from understanding anger. And so, say, in my own experience, as I began to... Report an error in the passage at 4:12
4:39 to recognize What mindfulness really is, then I could, before I really understood mindfulness, really recognized a natural state of mindfulness, then I tended to control my emotional life a lot because I was afraid of it. And being in a position like being a Buddhist monk where you, you know, you have a public image and People expect a lot from you, at least you think they do. So you don't want to look bad and show anger in front of them. So you find it very threatening oftentimes, especially when somebody's challenging me. Report an error in the passage at 4:39
5:27 Somebody's contending with me and says things that make me angry. I try to avoid, used to avoid all that, or dread it, or fear that it might happen. Report an error in the passage at 5:27
5:43 When I began to really understand, recognize mindfulness, then I could accommodate anger into that. And so this is why when I teach, I'm pointing to this stillness, the natural stillness that one can recognize as you kind of be more aware of yourself. Report an error in the passage at 5:43
6:12 And not in the critical way, but just opening and observing, being attentive to the reality of this moment. I'm sitting here. I can naturally receive, recognize, it's still what I call sound of silence, a kind of resonating, seems like a sound or a vibration of some sort. It's natural. It's not created by me. It's not imagined. Report an error in the passage at 6:12
6:46 By recognizing this, and from there, then I have perspective on the anger, the tendency to get angry. So if I try to control the anger through my personality, then I just reinforce the whole fear reaction to it. But when I trust in awareness, mindfulness, then I have space for anger, because I'm not just... Report an error in the passage at 6:46
7:16 I'm controlling it, I'm recognizing it in the reality as it arises. And that awareness is not angry. You begin to see, if I rest in this awareness, then the anger arises according to situations where that emotion is brought up. But my relationship to it changes from becoming angry to recognizing anger. Report an error in the passage at 7:16
7:44 And this is, it might sound complicated, but it's really very simple, but it does, you know, as you understand yourself better, then the problem will resolve itself. Report an error in the passage at 7:44
8:00 But, you know, like being afraid of anger made me dread a lot about when, you know, wanting to control, I mean... Pick and choose life situations where I could avoid any possibility of anything that might make me angry. Report an error in the passage at 8:00
8:24 Well that's a hard way to live. It makes you a bit feckless and cowardly. Report an error in the passage at 8:24
8:36 It's hard to just live your life in a way that anger never arises. Can I say something? It's a good question. I've found that all my life I couldn't get angry. And in the end I didn't know when I was angry. And it's taken me years to try to get in touch with that emotion. Of course in the end I was extremely ill. And this sort of sitting on this resentment, which I suppose anger is repressed, resentment is repressed anger. Report an error in the passage at 8:36
9:10 And I really was very ill. And this was really the cause, feeling very inadequate, very insecure, suicidal for about two years. And I've had a lot of help from a psychotherapist, and she said, I'm giving you permission to be angry, and how much damage it can do. I mean, obviously, there's different ways of expressing anger, and you don't sort of go off the deep end. Report an error in the passage at 9:10
9:39 but I sat on it, and it really became an acute anxiety state. I was about two and a half stone thinner than I am now, I covered the mirrors up with brown paper and blue text. I couldn't actually look at myself. this was sort of on this, and as I say, I became... And now you... Report an error in the passage at 9:39
10:06 I'm feeling fine now, but it's a long, hard slog. I've worked really hard to change that. Yeah, Report an error in the passage at 10:06
10:29 because that's where, like learning to listen to all the resentments. because I realise how much time I've spent being resentful about quite trivial things so I'm having to really be honest which is quite hard Report an error in the passage at 10:29
10:40 I was afraid of being angry. Yeah, exactly. It's frightening. And also, Report an error in the passage at 10:40
10:52 you know, one sees it in a very personal way, something, you know, a personal flaw. And it tends to isolate, doesn't it? You separate yourself from everyone else. It's not approved of. Yeah. I mean, children often are being accused of being rude. They're not. They're just being honest. Report an error in the passage at 10:52
11:16 Well, honesty is oftentimes very rude. Report an error in the passage at 11:16
11:29 You know, learning, it's a willingness to allow anger into consciousness without judging it. It's like this, you know. So, otherwise we judge it. You know, they all... Report an error in the passage at 11:29
11:44 That's angry. That's silly. I shouldn't get angry over something like that. Or these resentments. They're so petty. They're so silly. I'm so embarrassed about it. I hope nobody can read my dreams. So there's always this judgment of some kind of it's silly or stupid or shouldn't. But this is where with mindfulness you actually... Report an error in the passage at 11:44
12:12 Willing to let even stupidity and foolishness into consciousness. It's not picking and choosing and selecting anymore, but it doesn't matter if it's intelligent or stupid or right or wrong. It is what it is. If you trust that, then that's resolving the problem. You're not creating any more karma with that condition. Report an error in the passage at 12:12
12:41 And then you find anger actually is like a friend to you, rather than a curse in your life. Report an error in the passage at 12:41
12:54 Anyone you live with, you get most angry with. have a very distorted idea that if you love someone it's crazy Report an error in the passage at 12:54
13:30 My question has to do with we're talking here from the standpoint of expressing the anger ourselves and you mentioned karma there question has to do with the effect the effect if you will of expressing that that anger anger Thank within you. that situation in terms of even the first precept, non-harming. I'm not judging the state of being angry because how we receive that is also down to our Well, Report an error in the passage at 13:30
14:11 you know, like... that's the basis of my question, and also alongside that, within the frame of reference of ordination, how that squares with the benign. Report an error in the passage at 14:11
14:15 Right speech and right action, right livelihood, this is the sīla level, or about action and speech. It's not about mental, not about emotion. So, you know, we're, you know, if I, you know, like we might feel angry, want to curse and swear, but we refrain from cursing and swearing and developing right speech. Report an error in the passage at 14:15
14:46 In terms of activity, outward activity towards others. But then sometimes, like in cathartic methods, when people have repressed anger a lot, then sometimes in therapy they use catharsis, which has a value too, because it's a cathartic method of just shouting and screaming and cursing. Report an error in the passage at 14:46
15:12 You're not doing it at anybody. You know, to harm them. Your intention is not to hurt somebody or harm anything, but to allow yourself to express maybe resentment, repression in a very, you know, in an uncensored way because maybe you've never been able to do that, never allow yourself to really express it. Report an error in the passage at 15:12
15:42 So then... Catharsis sometimes helps in the beginning, but it's not a technique that lasts long because you just don't want to have to do that all the time. But it tends to release oftentimes the original blocks. But in terms of right and wrong, like there's skillful and unskillful, this is in regards to speech and action. Report an error in the passage at 15:42
16:38 then your relationship to the society is... is, you know, acting on good impulses, generosity, kindness, so forth. But that doesn't mean that you always feel that way towards it. Report an error in the passage at 16:38
16:56 But the other, wanting to hit them and bump them off, is you don't do that, even though you might feel it in moments. But then the awareness is recognizing that all conditions are impermanent and not self. So, Report an error in the passage at 16:56
17:24 awareness is then the refuge, you know, not in just trying to be a good person that doesn't break the laws or act violently or in the society, but it's being, you You know, recognizing the natural state of awareness, the liberation through this, through resting in this state, and then your relationship to the society on a physical level, on a verbal level, is to do good in it, to help, to serve, and then refrain from doing things that harm the society or individuals, creatures. Report an error in the passage at 17:24
18:10 Does that answer your question? Report an error in the passage at 18:10
18:18 Somewhat, but I still, I remember I was talking with you one time about the story of Milarepa, about going into that, and the difference between using anger insightfully with mindfulness, which is what I'm sure happened the time you were angry, because that's a teaching to me. Report an error in the passage at 18:18
18:52 environment, hopefully have a little training, a little bit, to be able to help me work with that skillfully within that context. Report an error in the passage at 18:52
19:04 even so, the expression of anger at large has a very harmful effect physiologically on both parties. So it's fine, I think, if one has enough momentum with the practice of awareness and mindfulness to genuinely not be attached to the wrong motivation to come from the right intention. But oftentimes that's not so possible, in which case the anger becomes a foolish weapon, in inverted commas, a weapon of ignorance. Report an error in the passage at 19:04
19:44 Ignorance, a means of skillfully offering teaching. Right, but I mean, that's intellectual. And the thing is that these conditions happen. Report an error in the passage at 19:44
20:05 Quoting Donald Rumsfeld, stuff happens. So that is... That's the way it is. But there's a cycle, like anger and guilt, and that reinforces the ego. Report an error in the passage at 20:05
20:32 And if you don't break through that cycle, then you just reinforce the ego by speaking in anger or things like that. So like with Miller Rape, I don't know, just theoretical, but it can be, you know, like a skillful means because the cycle isn't, you know, it's not from the ego anymore, it's just a spontaneous response appropriate to the moment. Report an error in the passage at 20:32
21:10 Or it can be, if carried in the mind, then it becomes... You know, a sense of identity, of judgment, of where the ego then is reinforced. Report an error in the passage at 21:10
21:27 Like sometimes, like yelling at a child walking into a busy street. You know, you have to shout. Like... Dragging back. And if you just... He said, well, you know, he'll be traumatized if I shout at him. He might get hit by a car. Report an error in the passage at 21:27
22:09 Yes? Report an error in the passage at 22:09
22:16 I've been learning at the process where with anger, they talk about anger comes from your short thinking. So if you get some distance on it and kind of learn, become more familiar with what the triggers are underneath the anger. It's probably a softer feeling like sadness or fear. And once you're in touch with that, once you're out of the situation, maybe then you can come in with how you'd like to address the situation from a calmer, more connected space than it is from acting out of the anger. Report an error in the passage at 22:16
22:51 I mean, that's good practice. Yeah, well, they're Report an error in the passage at 22:51
22:59 like greed, hatred and delusion. This is a Buddhist jargon. and Lopa do Samoa, these are Report an error in the passage at 22:59
23:13 kind of the center of the world. And now we'll leave. Report an error in the passage at 23:13
23:28 a mandala of six realms and know it's a kind of and in this circle are these six realms and in the very center is a rooster. Rooster and a snake. These stand for Lopa Dosamoa, greed, hatred, and delusion. So this is a Buddhist explanation. So this is when we're born into, manifest, incarnate in a human body, then this is part of the package. Report an error in the passage at 23:28
24:04 This you get, you know, as part of getting born in this realm. And so then you, and then as you're conditioned through your parents and carers and peers and so forth, then you get your identities and you're conditioned to think in terms of, you know, you'll see you'll be rewarded for obeying and you'll be punished for disobeying and, you know, you pick up all the signs of, of the dualistic structure of reward and punishment and people like you if you're a certain way they don't like you if you're not and if you show anger then people don't like you and so you know then we repress because we you know most of us want to be liked by others so you learn to repress a lot of emotions and it becomes habitual so you're not really Report an error in the passage at 24:04
25:24 situation. I've been sitting on a very bad experience for 30 years and I have got no idea that I was angry in front of the sisters in the hospital. And the therapist just kept saying to me, just let the feelings come. That's the only time I did go a bit hysterical for about 20 minutes. And I was just so angry that I didn't have a clue that I was. That's 30 years I've been sitting on that. Report an error in the passage at 25:24
25:48 I know. Afterwards you wonder, why was I so slow? Report an error in the passage at 25:48
25:57 It seems so obvious once you're released, doesn't it? I think I tried to eliminate should and ought out of my vocabulary. Because I used to think I ought was a word. I was. Report an error in the passage at 25:57
26:07 college not too long ago, I ought to write my essay. But if I say I could write my essay, it gives me a freedom of choice. Whereas otherwise, if I say I should do it, I'm up against the wall and I haven't anywhere to Yeah, Report an error in the passage at 26:07
26:26 but that's exploring how words do affect, you know, how they make you feel. Like this should and ought, you know, even to me, you should... I'm more likely to do it if I could say good and if I should Report an error in the passage at 26:26
26:37 Practice hard night. You know, it's like the school teacher or the master sergeant. And so, you know, this learning to teach meditation, like in Thailand, for example, where I live, they taught in a much different way than I do because it's like kill the kilesas. don't know. Report an error in the passage at 26:37
27:08 You know, kill these defilements, killaces or defilements, and fight against this kind of warrior language. And so, you know, this is what I heard. And operating in that warrior way didn't work for me because I'm already conditioned for that. Report an error in the passage at 27:08
27:36 You know, fighting and resisting, and that is what my, you know, I'm conditioned to do. So, what I needed was a different way of thinking. They say, fight the kilesas, fight your defilements, kill them. They say, kill them? Kakile. Then they, you know, so that didn't work for me. Because I'm very good at Killing Kilesas. I had to learn how to accept. You know, this kind of smarmy New Age language is accepting. Report an error in the passage at 27:36
28:20 Part of me kind of resists using it. It does have a point to it. You know, like that side of me of receptivity had never been developed. It was always, you know, get rid of this, get hold of this, get rid of that. says. Report an error in the passage at 28:20
28:36 And then if it's bad, you get rid of it, and if it's good, you try to hold on. And then in learning to just even think in a different way, like mettā practice I found helpful, where mettā loving-kindness, because mettā is indiscriminate. You know, even in the formal ways of spreading loving-kindness, you know, there's no preferences, it's not... Report an error in the passage at 28:36
29:06 spreading love to the good people but it's receiving the lord of death and the devils and the baddies as well as the angels and the devadas and the good ones Report an error in the passage at 29:06
29:19 so what does that do? You know, just think about that, that met unconditioned love. Report an error in the passage at 29:19
29:27 you know, you can't, they're not liking or approving, is it? can't approve of... Report an error in the passage at 29:27
29:38 Satsang with Mooji Satsang with Mooji nasty, you can receive them. see, without creating aversion and anger and resentment. And so that helped me to, you know, I found this was a more skillful way of even thinking, thinking about, myself. Report an error in the passage at 29:38
30:02 it was a challenge because I wasn't conditioned for this. was conditioned the other way. You know, like you're brought up as a Christian like I was. It's very much fight the devil, beat the devil, kill the evil forces, exterminate the axis of evil. Report an error in the passage at 30:02
30:26 I can't help it. It's part of the culture. Report an error in the passage at 30:26
30:38 But then emptiness, you know, like in what you were saying, when you... evil. Report an error in the passage at 30:38
30:48 When you oftentimes let go of the greed, hatred, because either the stronger kind of, like greed is very strong, you know, and anger and hatred are very strong. But delusion, oftentimes quite subtle. And so there's a sense of loneliness, sadness. sadness. Report an error in the passage at 30:48
31:17 That you begin to recognize when these stronger emotions are no longer dominating your consciousness. And this sadness, loneliness, is also, you know, another, you know, in terms of practicing with it, is to be aware of it and accept it. And then that also drops away. And what's left is stillness, which is... Report an error in the passage at 31:17
31:54 paralyzed and petrified as a block of ice, but it's a stillness to receive is never destroyed by the changing conditions you're experiencing through your emotions or mental world. Report an error in the passage at 31:54
32:12 I've noticed in my own life just the... Report an error in the passage at 32:12
32:19 know, going through periods of great loneliness and sadness Report an error in the passage at 32:19
32:25 In monastic life. And then as they're kind of stronger, you know, the greed and the hatred resolve themselves and then they're left with this sense of loneliness and sadness and then that eventually drops. Report an error in the passage at 32:25
32:51 But maybe, you know, we do, like modern life is very much aimed at sex and violence. You know, like modern entertainment, isn't it? Blockbusters. What about sex and violence? Why? Because these are very exciting experiences. You know, men fighting each other, you know, exploding bombs and planes crashing into buildings and all this is very exciting to the consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 32:51
33:30 Sex also very excites, excites, we feel alive and powerful with it. So these are, you know, these are, you know, what the modern society praises is to, you know, the sex and violence or the greed, trying to make us greedy, as greedy as possible. And to wanting us to really take sides, like hate the enemy. Report an error in the passage at 33:30
34:00 you know You know, really get in there and try to kill off the terrorists and destroy Osama bin Laden. And say we must have met for Osama bin Laden. I don't think in England they'd care that much, but in the States he'd probably be put in prison. Report an error in the passage at 34:00
34:30 In Guantanamo Bay maybe. Report an error in the passage at 34:30
34:35 And forgotten there. Report an error in the passage at 34:35
34:45 Yes? What is the basis for true friendship? Report an error in the passage at 34:45
34:56 Not to expect it or demand it. Report an error in the passage at 34:56
35:04 Like, ultimately, we're alone, aren't we? Like, this, you know, existentially, I'm here and you're there. And you come and go and I stay. So, I mean, you know, this is And then friendships, you know, with others and their relatives and they can idealize true friendship as, you know, my best friend and our friendship will last forever is an ideal. Report an error in the passage at 35:04
35:42 But the reality is friendship arises and ceases according to conditions. And so that... Recognizing that this is the way it is, that consciousness, you're in my consciousness, in terms of the reality of this moment from me sitting here. Report an error in the passage at 35:42
36:04 So I see you, you're in my conscious experience right now. I can't see my own face, I can see yours. Report an error in the passage at 36:04
36:15 I can see your eyes, but I can't see my own. And this kind of reflecting is... Putting in the way it is in terms of experience. Existence is like this. And then we idealize friendship. You know, we'd long for it. And maybe we become cynical or we're constantly looking for true friends, things like this. Report an error in the passage at 36:15
36:47 But this is another form of desire, dhanah, wanting... That loneliness that I was talking about can be kind of forgotten when you're with your best friend. Report an error in the passage at 36:47
37:09 So the aim then is to not seek just distraction through friendship, but through being aware. And then the friendships evolve more from, you know, in ways that are undemanding and non... Ajahn Report an error in the passage at 37:09
38:03 But then in adult life, oftentimes that's never, one is looking for the same relationships, the same sense of my best friend, special friend. Report an error in the passage at 38:03
38:16 And then you might have, you know, in moments you find somebody might come into your life who you have great affinities with and heart connections and you feel this enormous rapport. Report an error in the passage at 38:16
38:32 But then we can hang on to that and demand from it. It even destroys the potential there. It's the clinging and demanding and blindness that happens in that relationship if we're not developing awareness. Report an error in the passage at 38:32
38:52 And then we can also think, if you're my real friend, you'll stick up for me even when I'm wrong. Report an error in the passage at 38:52
39:00 Even if I do something wrong, if you're my best friend, you stand up for me. And then you say, I can't because you've broken the law and I can't. You're not my friend. You don't do what I want. Report an error in the passage at 39:00
39:16 So the best friend, like in saṅgha life, for example, just a monastic saṅgha, it's interesting when you're living with others, with monks and nuns, because oftentimes you're, you know, you're, You don't really choose these friends. They come. And oftentimes, you know, they're so different and so strange that you Report an error in the passage at 39:16
39:52 wish you had more selective choice. Report an error in the passage at 39:52
40:02 But reflecting on the Saṅgha life, you know, where I found, you know, having to To relate to people I found difficult and oftentimes didn't like very much or didn't understand. Report an error in the passage at 40:02
40:21 And because of that, then there was always having to expand, you know, from, say, when I first, when I was a layman, I had a much more narrow margin of acceptability, who I regarded as, you know, I could be friends with and who I wanted to be with. It was quite narrow, I realized. And then in monastic life, you know, you keep having to expand it, you know, where, you know, it includes everybody then. Report an error in the passage at 40:21
40:52 You know, there's room for everybody in awareness because you learn from everyone. You know, you're learning from, you know, from the dislike you might have for somebody or your critical... The way you tend to see them or react to them, your attraction, your propulsion, and brings up your own opinions about people. Report an error in the passage at 40:52
41:23 And here it's like very international. So you're living with Asian monks, with European, American, Australian, South African, and then generations. Report an error in the passage at 41:23
41:39 Sometimes I find it difficult to understand the young generation because they think so differently than my generation. I realize I'm like a dinosaur or something. I'm the under-tall caveman. I'm from a previous age. Report an error in the passage at 41:39
41:59 Why do they react like that? Why do they think like that? And then I realize a lot of the things that I just take for granted from my background mean nothing to younger people. Report an error in the passage at 41:59
42:13 that's just the way society changed, like the society now. I was born in 1934, so... then the 30s, you know, the world was very different, and the Report an error in the passage at 42:13
42:31 very, very different than what it is now. the expectation for life and forth was, you know... The society itself, America was not a superpower then. The attitudes and that that were conditioned into me when I was a child still affect how I see things in terms of the thinking mind. But in terms of awareness then, this is where we're one. In awareness, this awareness is a unitive reality. Report an error in the passage at 42:31
43:12 It's not a divisive thing. Your thinking mind divides. You say, this is my friend, this isn't my friend, this is my best friend, this is my worst enemy. Report an error in the passage at 43:12
43:25 And that's dividing, isn't it? And then with awareness, because it's not discriminative, and it's unitive, the union, the oneness, the real oneness, cautiously experienced. Report an error in the passage at 43:25
43:47 Through awareness, that's the gate, that's the escape hatch from the divisive changing conditions that we tend to be identified with. Report an error in the passage at 43:47
44:00 So like oneness, there's nothing more simple than that. One. Two, then it gets complicated. Report an error in the passage at 44:00
44:11 So one, I call universe, unity. Complicated. Report an error in the passage at 44:11
44:19 But in terms of sensory consciousness right now, the sensory consciousness divides. So my eye sees you. You're an object. This is from this position of seeing. You are objects in my vision. Then the oneness, now that's on the conventional level of Report an error in the passage at 44:19
44:54 the oneness is the awareness of that. That awareness has no... identity. I can't claim it any personal way. not a personal thing. personality Report an error in the passage at 44:54
45:12 changes according to other conditions but awareness brings you lets you rest in a natural state Oneness, universal oneness, which you can't imagine. There's no image for it. But it's real. It's a fact. It's not an abstract metaphysical theory. But what is it? And this is what liberation from suffering is all about. Because that division is the suffering. Being identified with all this separateness and conflict and opposites. Report an error in the passage at 45:12
45:57 You know, emotional conditions and thoughts and being identified and lost in the conditioned realm is the suffering of the dukkha. And then the awareness of this is the oneness. Report an error in the passage at 45:57
46:18 So that's where all conditions resolve themselves in that. So friendship or... Enemies or whatever, you know, friends, enemies, people that I have affinity with, people I don't have any affinity with, these are conditions that change. And we can call them conventional realities, they're conventions, but not to empower them with something more than that. Report an error in the passage at 46:18
46:55 They are what they are. And then we no longer... Make that into a problem. Create a problem about the way the changing conditions are changing. Report an error in the passage at 46:55
47:14 Yes? You mentioned before that you had a moment when you became mindful. How and when did the penny drop in terms of mindfulness? Report an error in the passage at 47:14
47:29 Well, when I started, I didn't Report an error in the passage at 47:29
47:38 know. I didn't have a clue what mindfulness was. And even though, you know, I thought I understood the word when... I actually learned how to concentrate my mind when I first started meditating before I was a monk and I lived in Bangkok. Report an error in the passage at 47:38
47:57 So I learned concentrating and so samādhi was the big word then. Do you have samādhi? And of course samādhi to an English speaking person is like the Hindu kind of Achievement, you know, in Thailand oftentimes it just means concentration, you know, because that's what it actually means. But if you come from my background, then samādhi is like, you know, nirvikalpa samādhi is some great achievement that only the advanced Hindu yogis can do. Report an error in the passage at 47:57
48:36 And so then they say, do you have samādhi? And I say, no, not at all. But actually I was quite good at samādhi. Because that's how my mind's conditioned to concentrate. And so then I started with this technique called the Burmese technique where you do everything in slow motion. So I thought that was mindful, doing everything in slow motion. So when I became a Samanera, a novice monk in this monastery in the northeast in And everybody was walking in slow motion, everything was slow motion. And so everything, you couldn't, mindfulness was like Report an error in the passage at 48:36
49:29 that. And so one time I had to go to Bangkok, you know, to Vervisa. And I said, how can you practice mindfulness if you're on a train going to Bangkok? And how can you be mindful when you're in Bangkok? You can't walk slowly like that in Bangkok. Report an error in the passage at 49:29
49:51 They said, you can't do it in Bangkok. Report an error in the passage at 49:51
49:57 So I kind of lost interest in that practice. I don't want to spend the rest of my life moving that slowly. So then I had to consider. Report an error in the passage at 49:57
50:13 And then I read some books in the scriptures, suttas, and then I figured it out. I did a lot of the year that I was a samanera, really. I had the insight the first year because I used that Four Noble Truths and I began to recognize, you know, this natural state of awareness and that wasn't, you know, I wasn't creating, it wasn't through concentrating the mind. Report an error in the passage at 50:13
50:50 So I could, you know, by concentrating the mind I can get very still and tranquil but it's easily disrupted. You know, it throws me off. Every door slams or something happens and you doubt it. You know, doubt is a big abstraction to getting the jhānas. So, you know, I have a very skeptical mind, so I'd be in this state. Then I thought, is this first jhāna or second? Report an error in the passage at 50:50
51:22 Then it'd be gone. Report an error in the passage at 51:22
51:28 So you're reading a list out of a book from an ignorant mind, unenlightened mind, and then trying to get what you think you should from the way you interpret the scripture. And it was a hopeless task. So then the insight was, you know, through these Four Noble Truths, I explored suffering, dukkha, and the causes and the cessation of it. Report an error in the passage at 51:28
51:56 I actually began to recognize non-attachment as a reality rather than just assuming that I'm always attached to something. I became aware of emptiness, of where the thinking process stops, of absence, of space. Report an error in the passage at 51:56
52:15 And so then from that point, then the following year I took higher ordination, went to stay at Ajahn Chah. And his whole emphasis was on ordinary movement. Mindfulness in the life of a Buddhist monk. So then I was, you know, lived with him for about 10 years where the mindfulness was, wasn't, he wasn't encouraging concentration that much, but awareness of, especially around mental state, like living in the Thai monastery at first was very frustrating because I didn't understand the language and, you know, moving. Report an error in the passage at 52:15
52:56 From a Western environment to a very traditional, strict forest monastery with a different language and everything different. So there's a lot of emotion aroused, a lot of frustration and exasperation and so forth. I had a lot of emotional reactions to the life. And then he was very skilled for getting me to observe. Report an error in the passage at 52:56
53:31 He didn't tell me I was wrong for feeling frustrated, but he would use my frustration to get me to look at it and started noticing, you know, how I create endless problems around if I can't understand what they're saying or if I, you know, feeling, you know, suspicions or doubts and all that. So, you know, the attention was always toward looking at what's happening rather than trying to defend or blame or what I would tend to do on my conditioned mind. Report an error in the passage at 53:31
54:11 You know, I would either feel defensive or blaming, critical, or feeling I can't do this, you know, and you're adjusting, totally adjusting to something so different. Report an error in the passage at 54:11
54:31 But with that mind, living here in England now for many years, it's all become more and more as you develop and cultivate and then it's so obvious. Report an error in the passage at 54:31
54:52 And then sometimes you feel impatience with others. Report an error in the passage at 54:52
55:01 Can't you see it? Well, Report an error in the passage at 55:01
55:09 I think that should be enough for now. think I it. Report an error in the passage at 55:09
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Talk by Ajahn Sumedho. Original at Amaravati Buddhist Monastery via Internet Archive: https://archive.org/details/ajahn-sumedho-dhamma-talks. Licensed CC BY-NC-ND 4.0. Transcript generated automatically and may contain errors; the audio is the authoritative version.
Talks of Ajahn Sumedho, archived on Internet Archive. More from Amaravati