Investigating The condition world – AM Reflection

0:01 So reflecting on the way it is, this moment, here and now, it's like this. Just this reminder, the way it is. So when I do this, I just stop thinking about things or planning or controlling, just observing. It's like this. Report an error in the passage at 0:01 Highlight the passage at 0:01

0:27 And it's not a judgment. It's not trying to find out whether it's good, bad, right, wrong, pleasant or painful. It's just a way of using the thoughts we have in a skillful way just to pay attention to the present, to the moment. Because otherwise we use the thought process for judging, criticizing, wanting, planning, not wanting. Report an error in the passage at 0:27 Highlight the passage at 0:27

0:58 And this is learning how to not use the thought process just as some kind of critical faculty, but also as a skillful means to remind, to remember Dhamma, Buddha Dhamma Saṅgha, which are mere words also, but they're not to be graphs, but references to the here and now. Buddha is a mindfulness. Awakened consciousness. Dhamma is the truth of the way it is. Saṅgha is practicing, putting into practice the individual human being, practicing. Report an error in the passage at 0:58 Highlight the passage at 0:58

1:47 Supatipanno, ujjupatipanno. Emphasizing just for you to reflect on how you use the thinking process. Because we're educated. Report an error in the passage at 1:47 Highlight the passage at 1:47

2:02 We can read and write. We're from a cultural background that has a lot of ideas, views, opinions, ideals, standards, principles, and on and on like that. So we have this hierarchy of thought from the best to the worst, heaven to hell. And the thought process is... It's like this. It's dualistic. It functions in that way. That's why you can't be liberated through thinking. Report an error in the passage at 2:02 Highlight the passage at 2:02

2:42 And so rather than trying to think about Buddhism, analyze Buddhism, think about yourself, try to figure everything out with your thought process, what we're... What the Buddha encourages us to do is to stop thinking, not to attach to thought anymore, but to be the puru, the putto, the knower of thought is like this. Report an error in the passage at 2:42 Highlight the passage at 2:42

3:13 Now, thoughts set off emotions, don't they? So, you know, thinking of something that gives me a happy feeling, a happy sense of security. Report an error in the passage at 3:13 Highlight the passage at 3:13

3:29 Feeling of being at ease, safe, happy. You have to have the conditions that create that illusion. And then there's all the other, the fear, the threat, the unknown factors, the unfairness, the injustices, the potential pain, misery, failure, and so forth that we conceive of through thinking. The personality... Report an error in the passage at 3:29 Highlight the passage at 3:29

4:00 Sakya did, he's all based on thought. So when you create yourself as a person, it's always in some judgmental way, isn't it? You're always identified with some condition. And that identity always puts you in opposition to something else. And so just by examining, by exploring, investigating, thinking, I'm not trying to get rid of thought. Report an error in the passage at 4:00 Highlight the passage at 4:00

4:32 But free myself from the enslavement to my thinking habits because thinking becomes habitual. We get just lost in our own thoughts. Somebody says something that you don't like and one gets carried away emotionally with anger, resentment. So in taking refuge in Buddha Dhamma Saṅgha is very immediate. It's not just a ceremonial recitation me Buddha Bhutan Surnam Gajami It's this, it's mindfulness. This is it. It's conscious knowing. It's not judging. Report an error in the passage at 4:32 Highlight the passage at 4:32

5:17 It's not ideal about how things should be or what's wrong with the way it is. It's just pure awareness that we're experiencing from this position. Report an error in the passage at 5:17 Highlight the passage at 5:17

5:32 Because... Existentially, each one of us experiences consciousness from the position we're in, this body sitting here on this tamat. Report an error in the passage at 5:32 Highlight the passage at 5:32

5:45 Consciousness, awakened consciousness, before you create yourself as somebody, you know the difference when there's nobody and when there's somebody. When you become a person and when there's no person, when there's atta and an atta, can you discern? Report an error in the passage at 5:45 Highlight the passage at 5:45

6:05 So on this retreat, try to really familiarize, become expert at discerning the difference when there's no person and when you become somebody. But we're culturally conditioned to always create ourselves. We have to assert ourself as a person. And this is a society based on rights and You know, the present age is one based on asserting your rights, getting what you want, and asserting yourself as an individual, as a personality, as somebody. Report an error in the passage at 6:05 Highlight the passage at 6:05

6:45 So that's part of the cultural conditioning that we have to deal with. But notice that to become somebody, you have to attach to the idea that you are this person, you are this... This personality, this body, these memories, these emotions. And then once you buy into that program, then you actually become a personality. Report an error in the passage at 6:45 Highlight the passage at 6:45

7:16 You become what you're thinking, what you're feeling. And so this is like the becoming process. So it's birth. It's bhava, born again into being. This person. So I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this. It's not judgment. It's just pointing to how the conditioned realm is, what it is. All conditions are impermanent. So we're observing conditioned phenomena, being the knower of it. Report an error in the passage at 7:16 Highlight the passage at 7:16

7:55 So it's non-critical. It's not criticizing conditioned phenomena or sankharas. It's just observing, discerning them. So in the, say, my personality, it depends on me identifying with me, with this body. Say I'm 74 this year. This is a conventional thought, you know. It's true, you know, in terms of the convention. But it depends on thinking. I am... Report an error in the passage at 7:55 Highlight the passage at 7:55

8:35 This body that will be 74, complete. If I don't think that, then there's no sense of being anything, being a 74-year-old person. So it's discerning the difference between creating myself as a 74-year-old person and not creating myself. To discern the difference. So on the convention in July, on my birthday, I can... Report an error in the passage at 8:35 Highlight the passage at 8:35

9:05 I can operate in the conventional way saying, happy birthday Ajahn Sumedho, 74 years old, and I can operate within the convention. I'm not trying to deny it, but put it in perspective so that I'm no longer limited and bound to the conventional world, to the world itself. Report an error in the passage at 9:05 Highlight the passage at 9:05

9:31 So the refuge is in dharma, not in the world, not in... me being 74 year old and this person but in Dhamma in the truth of the way it Now, the conditioned realm is all about qualities, quantities, values, principles, conditions, good, bad, right, wrong, true and false, beautiful and ugly, heaven and hell, pleasure and pain, success and failure. Report an error in the passage at 9:31 Highlight the passage at 9:31

10:06 This is... This is how the world, this is the world that we create. We're identified with these extremities, with these divisions. If you have heaven, then there's going to be hell. If there's good, bad goes along with it. Right and wrong, they're devoted to each other. Good and bad. True and false. What should be and shouldn't be. Fair and unfair. Report an error in the passage at 10:06 Highlight the passage at 10:06

10:39 Moral and immoral. We've got principles, standards, virtues, aspirations, all these are words that convey, that divide the consciousness, the conscious experience. Report an error in the passage at 10:39 Highlight the passage at 10:39

10:58 So aspiring, attaching to inspiration or aspiration from ignorance, from not understanding dharma, then we're always trying to become something. Trying to become a better person, an enlightened person. And so we can discern this, the suffering, just observing from my own experience, observing the suffering of being a monk, wanting to be better than what I observe. Report an error in the passage at 10:58 Highlight the passage at 10:58

11:35 Because the ideal monk, the ideal Buddhist monk, is not the experience of daily life. You know, I have to deal with the physical body, with emotions, with memories, feelings, fears, love, hate, delusions. Ideal monks, ideal Buddhist monks, Buddhist nuns, don't have these problems. They're equanimous, like Buddha rūpas. Report an error in the passage at 11:35 Highlight the passage at 11:35

12:10 But the Supatipanno, Ujjupatipanno, The Saṅgha then isn't Buddhist monks and nuns who are just perfect idols of beauty and perfection, equanimity, but they are individual human beings aware of discerning the difference between the conditioned and the unconditioned. Now this discerning, this word, is not sane. I like the... Report an error in the passage at 12:10 Highlight the passage at 12:10

12:46 Unconditioned better than the conditioned and it becomes personal and judgmental, isn't it? Even these words we have to let go of, the unconditioned and the conditioned. They're just reference points. So the conditioned, we start out with the conditioned because that's the most obvious for us. That's what we attach to. That's what we live with. We live with our emotions, our memories, our bodies. Report an error in the passage at 12:46 Highlight the passage at 12:46

13:18 Our identities, our loves and hates, so that this is, you know, these are what, why we suffer because we're so bound into these conditions, so blinded and so identified with them that we can't see through them. We can't, there's no way of seeing them because we are those conditions, this grasping. This ubhadana, ignorance and ubhadana mean that we're actually bound, enslaved to conditioning. So as long as we have that, we can improve the condition sometimes. Report an error in the passage at 13:18 Highlight the passage at 13:18

14:02 Sometimes life does have its improvements where the conditions aren't so rough and so dire as they are at other times. But we're still bound into that realm of conditioning until we begin to examine it, investigate it. And so when we make statements like, all conditions are impermanent, this is a pointing, a way of looking at conditions. Report an error in the passage at 14:02 Highlight the passage at 14:02

14:36 Now what is it that can observe the conditions? And then you might think it's another condition. You think, Well, you know, I'm observing my emotions, my emotions, my process. I'm going through my process. Report an error in the passage at 14:36 Highlight the passage at 14:36

14:54 My, you know, my traumas, my feelings, my desires. The whole modern jargon of the present age is all about me and my feelings, my process, my life, my rights. Myself as the ultimate kind of, to be able to be a successful whole personality, to be a happy, wholesome, normal, healthy person is the aim of modern society. Report an error in the passage at 14:54 Highlight the passage at 14:54

15:34 Now there's nothing wrong with that, but it still supports the illusion, doesn't it, of self. It's based on the self and is limited to the self. And it tends towards ideal. What is a healthy, normal, happy personality? A normal person, a personality, healthy personality. What is it? So we operate from maybe those kind of aspirations. Report an error in the passage at 15:34 Highlight the passage at 15:34

16:11 But do we know what we're talking about? Can the personality... Does anyone have a permanently healthy personality? Doesn't your personality change according to the conditions? Mine does. I don't know about you. The personality is conditioned. So it can be happy, sad, elated, depressed, frightened, jealous, anxious, worried, tense, angry, indignant. Report an error in the passage at 16:11 Highlight the passage at 16:11

17:19 You know, this opportunity we have of reflecting on a condition, we're actually learning to recognize the unconditioned, operating from the unconditioned. And that is the ability to observe the condition. It's as simple as that. When I'm upset, when I feel upset, personally upset, then I can observe that. Report an error in the passage at 17:19 Highlight the passage at 17:19

17:48 I know when I'm upset. When I'm angry. Or when I'm happy, when I'm unhappy, when I'm feeling anxious or worried, when I'm feeling healthy and vigorous or weak and sickly. And that we all, this is so obvious, we all know I don't feel very well today. I don't, I feel, or sometimes I feel wonderful today. Report an error in the passage at 17:48 Highlight the passage at 17:48

18:14 People keep asking, how are you, Ajahn Sumedho? Why don't they, how are you? Why do we, why, always asking how we are. I remember one, man used to come to Chichurst and course it's a more rhetorical question it's kind of agreeing how are you and he and so I say how are you and he start telling me in detail I don't really want to know all that because he took it quite literally when I meant it merely as a greeting. You know, how are you? Report an error in the passage at 18:14 Highlight the passage at 18:14

18:43 Good to see you kind of thing. But he would take it quite literally and say, how are you? And he'd say, well, I go on and all the... Details of his feelings of the moment, present problems. So then this is thinking, attachment to thought, habits, habitual thinking, proliferating thoughts. One thought goes on to the next. But that which is aware of thought. So in the teaching, getting people to use the mantra puto, puto, You know, it's a thought, isn't it? It's non-personal, though. We don't usually think, I'm Buddha, unless you're a bit daft. Report an error in the passage at 18:43 Highlight the passage at 18:43

19:35 But I mean, it's a thought, a deliberate, a mantra that we choose. But when we think, when we inwardly think the word Bhutto, You know, you can examine that. There's a thinking process. I have to intentionally decide to think this word, bhutto. But there's an awareness. The consciousness isn't dependent on the word. There's an awareness of before I think the first syllable, bhutto. Report an error in the passage at 19:35 Highlight the passage at 19:35

20:13 And there's awareness surrounding that one word. Now this is so obvious and very simple, but we miss out on the most obvious, on the reality of dhamma all the time. Because then we get caught in repeating putto, putto mechanically. Because we're used to just thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking. Ajahn Sumedho says use the word putto, putto, putto, putto, and then it becomes a mechanical recitation. Report an error in the passage at 20:13 Highlight the passage at 20:13

20:49 With no space around it. And you can get quite tranquil with that because it does stop you from, you know, kind of stop you from proliferating about yourself and problems and the world that you live in. Report an error in the passage at 20:49 Highlight the passage at 20:49

21:07 So like mantras and Omani Padme Hum and all the rest can be used just to, at least if you're going to think and attach to thoughts, attach to some skillful thoughts at least. Report an error in the passage at 21:07 Highlight the passage at 21:07

21:36 I'm good this or not good at this or this is Tibetan mantra. You shouldn't use it if you're Theravāda. And I can get into a whole realm of complexities of views and opinions about different forms of Buddhism and make a real mess of it. I'm not interested in that anymore, but in just discerning the difference, the thinking process arising, ceasing. Report an error in the passage at 21:36 Highlight the passage at 21:36

22:06 So examine this, create yourself. I spent years creating myself intentionally just to observe my personality. personality, I'm feeling happy, sad, angry, confused. Report an error in the passage at 22:06 Highlight the passage at 22:06

22:27 envious jealous frightened worried Great. always with this intention of being this awareness. Report an error in the passage at 22:27 Highlight the passage at 22:27

22:39 the thought, the sense of self, the atta, the self-view, as an object, as a mental object. Ajahn Sumedho is a mental object. So this is, you know, this is discerning, discernment. The awareness, the thinking process operates, but you're no longer operating from the habitual thinking, you're intentionally thinking. Report an error in the passage at 22:39 Highlight the passage at 22:39

23:07 To examine, to investigate thinking, to see it arise and cease. And emotions, because thoughts trigger off emotions, memories will trigger emotions. So somebody praises, Or somebody criticizes. Well, then they have an emotional reaction. Ajahn Sumedho is a good monk. Ajahn Sumedho is a bad monk. Report an error in the passage at 23:07 Highlight the passage at 23:07

23:38 The awareness doesn't get carried away by praise or blame. It's observing it, you know, the emotional habits. My emotions can get, you know, started through praise, you know, being... Ajahn Sumedho is a good monk. You know, that's non-threatening. That makes me, as a person, feel confident, safe, appreciated by the society, by the world that I live in. Report an error in the passage at 23:38 Highlight the passage at 23:38

24:16 Ajahn Sumedho is a bad monk. Then that makes me feel, personally, angry or resentful. So the personality will emotionally get... Charged up with that, with these dualistic concepts, good and bad. But the awareness of good and bad, of being happy or sad, elated or depressed, that awareness, you discern the difference because you can't be aware of being aware. Report an error in the passage at 24:16 Highlight the passage at 24:16

24:58 But you can be aware of conditioned phenomena. And so the Sakya Ditti is conditioned. There's nothing permanent. Nothing you can sustain personally. Report an error in the passage at 24:58 Highlight the passage at 24:58

25:15 That's personal. But what is self-sustaining? Self is through awareness. This is consciousness. Conscious awareness. Awakened consciousness. This is what Buddha means. Report an error in the passage at 25:15 Highlight the passage at 25:15

25:33 Now in this discerning ability, This is the panya, using panya, or wisdom. Sometimes we think of wisdom as knowing about what sages have said. Report an error in the passage at 25:33 Highlight the passage at 25:33

25:53 There's a kind of worldly wisdom, streetwise, they say, or how to operate in the British political system, or live on the street, or succeed in business. There's a certain kind of canniness. cleverness and ability that we associate with the word wisdom. But using this word, English word wisdom, to define panya is discerning. Report an error in the passage at 25:53 Highlight the passage at 25:53

26:20 And this discerning is not developed in anywhere really, any society. Most societies are lost in their ignorance, in their identities with culture, with class, with race, with sex. Report an error in the passage at 26:20 Highlight the passage at 26:20

26:40 With principles, ideals. Now, like the word democracy, this is the great thing of human attainment, is to bring democracy into the world. Report an error in the passage at 26:40 Highlight the passage at 26:40

26:57 So, I mean, democracy is no longer socialism, communism, they've gone out into the rubbish bin. Democracy now. Everything should be democratic. Human rights and democracy. These are the kind of in-concepts of the age in our own society. Report an error in the passage at 26:57 Highlight the passage at 26:57

27:27 So then we attach to, you know, it's certainly good. Democracy is an ideal. But, you know, it is an ideal. And then attachment to the ideal. Report an error in the passage at 27:27 Highlight the passage at 27:27

27:42 creates this sense of anger, resentment, indignation when we think things aren't democratic. We want to force democracy on others, kill people so that we can make their countries democratic and things like that. So it becomes absurd, an absurdity. We can force everybody to become like Western democracy. Report an error in the passage at 27:42 Highlight the passage at 27:42

28:11 We want only... Muslims to become like Americans with all the values of America, American democracy, and how things should be. In America, it's not an ideal society. It has all kinds of problems. But when we talk about democracy, we're not talking about what's wrong. With America, we're talking about the ideal of American politics. And so the ideals are beautiful. Report an error in the passage at 28:11 Highlight the passage at 28:11

28:55 But attachment to ideals out of ignorance is what happens when we attach to ideals. And of course, we become critical. We become angry. So discerning then is not based on how it should be, but on the way it is. And this is like the Buddha's I teach only two things, suffering and the end of suffering. It's very simple, isn't it? Suffering and the end of suffering. Report an error in the passage at 28:55 Highlight the passage at 28:55

29:25 There's nothing kind of remote or arcane or abstruse or terribly refined or abstract. Suffering is banal. It's ordinary. It's vulgar. And the end of suffering. Well, the end of suffering is discerning. Report an error in the passage at 29:25 Highlight the passage at 29:25

29:52 Discerning the result of ignorance, desire and attachment. These are like in Four Noble Truths in Dependent Origination. These are teachings or skillful means to explore this ignorance, avicca. When we're not discerning, when we're not awake, we're merely operating from the conditioning. From the Sankaras, then desires arise and cease. But we're not aware of them, we attach to them. Report an error in the passage at 29:52 Highlight the passage at 29:52

30:33 And one of the problems we have in monastic life, in religious, any religion really, is trying to get rid of bad thoughts, resistance, trying to get rid of lust, or if you're celibate, trying to... To get rid of sexual desire or try to control it. Try to get rid of anger and jealousy and fear. Report an error in the passage at 30:33 Highlight the passage at 30:33

31:04 Because we can become, with all good intentions, wanting to become better people by joining the Saṅgha. And because we see, you know, how much, how frightened or anxious we are or how angry, how insecure, unhappy we can be. As personalities, so we, you know, we think maybe becoming a Buddhist Samana will be the solution to the problem. Report an error in the passage at 31:04 Highlight the passage at 31:04

31:32 I can become better. And so there's so much resistance to trying to make yourself into, you know, a really good person, a really good Samana. And then we can intimidate each other. You know, a Buddhist Samana shouldn't, should be content with the four requisites. Report an error in the passage at 31:32 Highlight the passage at 31:32

31:55 A Buddhist samana should have compassion. We can have Buddhists should be vegetarian. We should be full of loving kindness. And we shouldn't be jealous or envious, mean or nasty or selfish. And so these are true but not right, right but not true situations. Notice the should, how things should be. Report an error in the passage at 31:55 Highlight the passage at 31:55

32:25 But then in terms of the realities of our human karma, individual karma, we feel like this. Feeling selfish is like this. When I get in, you know, when the conditions for selfishness arise, what about me? I want and I think and I don't want to, I don't agree, why do I, why me, it's not fair, blah, blah, blah, like that. Report an error in the passage at 32:25 Highlight the passage at 32:25

32:55 Then if I'm, If I'm coming from the idea, I shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't resent things or just think of myself. I should think of the welfare of the community, of the Saṅgha, of Buddhism, of humanity. I shouldn't just think of my own desires and just live this life just to perpetuate my own interests. And so then we feel guilty because maybe we do feel selfish and... Report an error in the passage at 32:55 Highlight the passage at 32:55

33:25 and childish and that, and then we don't like that. So we criticize. I shouldn't. A good monk wouldn't feel like this. And so I start resisting it, trying to get rid of my selfishness, my immature emotional habits, trying to be majestic and grand, magnanimous. Because that's my ideal as a person. My ideal as a person is... Report an error in the passage at 33:25 Highlight the passage at 33:25

33:56 Being magnanimous, generous, unselfish, compassionate, sensitive. But in the nitty-gritty of daily life, I don't always feel like that. That's the ideal, but then the realities of a situation can bring up resentment over little things, jealousies, petty feelings, harsh judgments. judgments. shocking some of the judgments I can make. shocks me. a part of, you know, a certain conditioning that I notice that is quite hard. Report an error in the passage at 33:56 Highlight the passage at 33:56

34:38 Now, the... don't like that, you know, so then I feel guilty about it. But discerning, is like this. It's observing conditioned phenomena arising and ceasing. Report an error in the passage at 34:38 Highlight the passage at 34:38

34:56 I think we're all interested in the problem of guilt because we're from a society that creates this. This, I think, is quite common in European Western societies. And it's because of the idealism. This is my own observations. It's, you know, we all know how things should be. Report an error in the passage at 34:56 Highlight the passage at 34:56

35:27 And then we feel guilty about the way things are, you know, that I shouldn't be selfish. And then when I feel selfish, then I feel guilty about it. Report an error in the passage at 35:27 Highlight the passage at 35:27

35:39 So one way of intimidating you is saying you're being selfish. You're saying, you're just thinking of yourself, you're not thinking of the welfare of the Saṅgha. Report an error in the passage at 35:39 Highlight the passage at 35:39

35:52 And what does that do to you, you know? It's a good way of intimidating people, isn't it? Or, you know, parents do it to their children, or we do it to each other. If you, you know, if you were unselfish, you would be more considerate of my feelings. But you just go your own way, do what you want, irregardless of how it affects me. You're just so selfish. Report an error in the passage at 35:52 Highlight the passage at 35:52

36:20 And then we feel, you know, we can start feeling guilty about that. So observing this, This puto tamo relationship, this sense of selfishness or the ideal of unselfishness is beautiful. But in terms of here and now, the feeling is like this. Feeling selfish, immature, obsessed with my own views and opinions is like this. Report an error in the passage at 36:20 Highlight the passage at 36:20

36:55 Feeling guilty about it is like this. So in this... This unconditioned awareness, this is consciousness with awareness, unconditioned. This is the unconditioned. There is the unborn, uncreated, unformed, unconditioned. Report an error in the passage at 36:55 Highlight the passage at 36:55

37:28 This is it. This is real. The awareness of the condition. So, I want to have my own way is a condition. I can't sustain that. When I try to sustain being totally selfish, I can't do it. Try to just sustain selfishness and immature emotional reactions. Intentionally try to sustain them and see how successful you are at sustaining them. Report an error in the passage at 37:28 Highlight the passage at 37:28

38:06 But because we usually resist them, you know, through being intimidated or guilt-ridden about how we're feeling, we get very confused about life, about ourselves, about, you know, everything. We become confused and despairing and depressed. Report an error in the passage at 38:06 Highlight the passage at 38:06

38:31 Because we can't control things and make things the way we would like them to be or think they should be. But we can observe. Report an error in the passage at 38:31 Highlight the passage at 38:31

38:42 And so this refuge in awareness, awareness, consciousness, wisdom of the conditions, of thoughts, of memories, of emotions. Of the body, of the senses, of sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch. Awareness of the sense world is not in any way judging it, but you have to embrace it. You have to allow the world of the senses, the conditioned realm, to be what it is, rather than trying to get rid of it, change it, destroy it, attach to it. Report an error in the passage at 38:42 Highlight the passage at 38:42

39:35 I believe in it. So what is it that is aware? And it's not person, it's not Sakyaditi. If I say I'm very aware and I'm, you know, put it in terms of my, I'm more aware than you are, that kind of thing, it becomes Sakyaditi again. But awareness is like this, isn't it? It's not, I can't claim it. The idea of it being mine and something I've developed and I can do is not, you know, that whole need to identify and claim it is gone. Report an error in the passage at 39:35 Highlight the passage at 39:35

40:18 It doesn't belong to, it's not a condition. You don't create, I don't create consciousness out of ignorance. Consciousness is not personal. It's operative. But you create... The sense of your separateness and personality out of ignorance through consciousness. So consciousness is operating, but you're not, you know, you're no longer aware from that position of consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 40:18 Highlight the passage at 40:18

40:55 You're operating through habit patterns, conditioning process. We become conditioned and programmed like computers and that. We're creatures of habit. Report an error in the passage at 40:55 Highlight the passage at 40:55

41:10 So we are easily manipulated and we can be happy or sad or lonely or whatever according to other conditions. Now just notice on this retreat, explore, don't try to stop thinking and resist your emotional life and try to just get tranquil on this retreat. Report an error in the passage at 41:10 Highlight the passage at 41:10

41:42 I just want to get my samādhi and get peaceful and operate from that. I don't encourage that. Report an error in the passage at 41:42 Highlight the passage at 41:42

41:53 Investigate. Look into the nature of conditioning. Not from thinking about conditioning, but recognizing it. Whether it's subtle, whether it's just a kind of slight movement in the mind. It's gross or subtle or whatever, physical or mental or emotional or psychic. We're fascinated with the psychic phenomena, with devadas and higher beings and forces in the universe. Report an error in the passage at 41:53 Highlight the passage at 41:53

42:37 And we can, you know, there's possibilities, endless possibilities of angelic beings or... Guardian angels, or devadas, or Brahma gods, or pretas, or devils, evil forces. Report an error in the passage at 42:37 Highlight the passage at 42:37

42:57 But these are also conditions, you know, so these are thoughts, conditions. Not saying they, you know, denying them, but conditioned phenomena is like this. You know, devadas and Brahma gods are still conditions. Report an error in the passage at 42:57 Highlight the passage at 42:57

43:19 And higher realms are still conditions. Higher and lower. Heaven and hell. Where nibbāna is not about high or lower. It's oneness. It's ekagata. It's whole. It's the wholeness that we recognize through awareness. Complete. And so it's the end of suffering. I teach only two things. Suffering and the end of suffering. Report an error in the passage at 43:19 Highlight the passage at 43:19

43:54 Notice also your own intentions for this retreat. Be conscious of what you expect or want from this idea of a retreat. And not judge it, but observe how the self is created around this sense of being on retreats and wanting to get something. There's all kinds of shoulds. We use words intensive or, you know, really practice hard, you know, really put a lot of effort into it and don't waste time. Report an error in the passage at 43:54 Highlight the passage at 43:54

44:43 All these are good advice, but these are the very kind of conditions we believe in and attach to. They create the sense of self. So the form of the retreat, Report an error in the passage at 44:43 Highlight the passage at 44:43

44:58 You know, the morning, evening puja, determined to, this is our agreement during this week, these are what we, we attend these. So this is the convention of, say, the form as a community, communal form, morning, evening puja, meal in the afternoon, the mornings are not, we don't, meet again in the morning the meal and then afternoon Report an error in the passage at 44:58 Highlight the passage at 44:58

45:41 This is the communal form. So make that very clear. This is, you know, maybe, you know, whether you like it or don't like it. Observe that. Whether you agree with it or don't or think it should be more strict or less or... I don't care what you feel about it. Just observe it. Be the knower. So that the convention we're using, I'm not trying to defend it and intimidate you into obeying it. Report an error in the passage at 45:41 Highlight the passage at 45:41

46:19 This is your own personal, you know, opportunity to use it. But what I recommend is to... You know, reflect that this is a particular style in this tradition, in this community, using this situation like this. So it's very conscious, you know, the form itself is accepted consciously or acknowledged at least, whether you accept it or don't accept something else. Report an error in the passage at 46:19 Highlight the passage at 46:19

47:01 Be the observer of that. So it's, you know, some people, I practice better alone in my room than in the community. And so we have these various, observe that, you know, just observe what you prefer or don't want, what you believe is what, I need this, I don't like to do that, is like this. Report an error in the passage at 47:01 Highlight the passage at 47:01

47:30 And so it's not an intimidation of you trying to, you know, I'm not going to be on your back and push you into obeying. This is how to use a form for reflection. Communal life can be very intimidating, isn't it? We look around to see who's here and who isn't. Things like this. And so we, you know, we have various views. Report an error in the passage at 47:30 Highlight the passage at 47:30

48:01 Form various views and opinions. So living together with people, there's always a level of intimidation involved because we are concerned about what other people think of us. And so observe that. Living in a community like this and then conforming to the community or not conforming. Report an error in the passage at 48:01 Highlight the passage at 48:01

48:27 Now living alone, you don't have to worry about that. You know, you can, there's nobody going to judge you. And so it's in some ways, you know, I personally prefer that. Report an error in the passage at 48:27 Highlight the passage at 48:27

48:46 I like living alone, right? It doesn't bring up this sense of what others think, concern about what others think and what I think about others. Report an error in the passage at 48:46 Highlight the passage at 48:46

49:01 But so instead of trying to... Just get, you know, thinking, I don't want to live in a community like this because it just creates too many, it confuses me and I'm too intimidated by the form and the seniority, the hierarchy and this and that. Be aware of this. This is sakyaditi. These are about feelings, personal feelings, emotions. Report an error in the passage at 49:01 Highlight the passage at 49:01

49:33 And so more and more you're trusting in your awareness of the feeling rather than believing the feeling. So if you pursue this, after a while it doesn't make much difference whether you're alone or in community because you'll find your strength in the awareness rather than in trying to compel the community to conform and be what you think it should be. Report an error in the passage at 49:33 Highlight the passage at 49:33

50:10 community because it's too stressful for you it's it's uh you know stress is like this what concern about what others think is like this the community to be in perfect harmony is like this frustrated when there's disharmony is like this When there's a lot of complaining and resentment and conflict in a community, it's like this. And so there's suffering. Report an error in the passage at 50:10 Highlight the passage at 50:10

50:40 If I attach to that not wanting conflict, not wanting disharmony, attaching to not wanting disharmony is I suffer from that. I create suffering. There's suffering. The end of suffering is letting go of that desire, wanting harmony when there isn't any. Report an error in the passage at 50:40 Highlight the passage at 50:40

51:02 So that I'm not dependent on everything being harmonious. Because life isn't like that. You know, two people get together, there's going to be moments of harmony and moments of disharmony. This is the way things are. But the refuge is not in harmony, but in awareness. So this is like transcending the emotional condition. Report an error in the passage at 51:02 Highlight the passage at 51:02

51:30 Not getting rid of it, not judging it, but recognizing it. Report an error in the passage at 51:30 Highlight the passage at 51:30

51:51 in them like this. then wanting to blame somebody if somebody wants to disrobe because fault is it and then we you know We go into blaming and trying to figure out how we could have made it right so that that person would have not wanted to leave. Where we've fallen, failed as a community to support them in the way they needed it at the time. We need to develop more sensitivity and more understanding of each other personally in order to create Report an error in the passage at 51:51 Highlight the passage at 51:51

52:35 harmony where people will feel fulfilled in the monastic life and these are these are ideas good ideas but there's there's no way that that we can ever succeed at that we can you know we can through awareness we will the sensitivity will evolve when we when we're pointing to dhamma then when our refuge is in dhamma then we then you know whether if That's up to them. That's not something you can, you know, that me being sensitive to all your needs is going to make you more aware of the dhamma. Report an error in the passage at 52:35 Highlight the passage at 52:35

53:17 It's pointing at the dhamma, reminding you. It's not developing an empathetic relationship with me, but in, as a person, but in discerning what is the refuge. Report an error in the passage at 53:17 Highlight the passage at 53:17

53:36 What is the conditioned realm? Being the knower of the conditions rather than the conditions themselves. Report an error in the passage at 53:36 Highlight the passage at 53:36