Reflecting on Metta

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0:48 I thought I'd reflect on mettā practice because this Report an error in the passage at 0:48 Highlight the passage at 0:48

0:58 attitude of mettā is very important, especially towards oneself. I notice most of us are very critical and it's hard to develop equanimity or relate to kind of that balance. This attitude of equanimity, if you basically don't like yourself or you're very critical of yourself, Report an error in the passage at 0:58 Highlight the passage at 0:58

1:45 so it's just in the West where Buddhism is developing, people find Buddha rūpas maybe a bit intimidating because they represent equanimity really, enlightened equanimity, so on a personal level this can be quite intimidating. Report an error in the passage at 1:45 Highlight the passage at 1:45

2:12 Because we admire it and kind of feel it's wonderful and high, but we can't relate to it in terms of our own experience. Report an error in the passage at 2:12 Highlight the passage at 2:12

2:25 So you can see a lot of interest in Kuan Yin and more kind of expressions of compassion as icons or symbols of compassion, or mettā, mettā, karuṇā, and Report an error in the passage at 2:25 Highlight the passage at 2:25

2:50 muditā. Then upekkhā, of course, equanimity, because Report an error in the passage at 2:50 Highlight the passage at 2:50

3:03 in many ways we can relate to compassion. We're all good-hearted, usually feel compassion for the suffering of others, the animals and the downtrodden and the unfortunate ones. It's not like something that is alien to us. Most of us have a lot of that, wanting to help the poor. Take care of the sick or the weak. Stand up for the human rights of the minorities and so forth. Report an error in the passage at 3:03 Highlight the passage at 3:03

3:51 So that is an inspiring quality and we can relate to it in terms of our own attitudes. Report an error in the passage at 3:51 Highlight the passage at 3:51

4:07 Equanimity can remain like indifference. I'm above it all. The world just goes on according to its karma. Poor are reaping the results of their karma and the sick and the downtrodden. And when you try to rationalize it in terms of equanimity, it sounds like a lack of concern or not wanting to be bothered or just dismissing the injustices and unfairnesses to Report an error in the passage at 4:07 Highlight the passage at 4:07

4:41 abide in a state of blissful equanimity is how we might rationalize it. But then towards oneself, this mettā is, the starting point is Aham Sukhito Homi, may I abide in well-being. Report an error in the passage at 4:41 Highlight the passage at 4:41

5:15 Now putting that into practical, into practice, what do you do? It's easy enough to say and you understand the idea of it. It's not difficult to understand logically, intellectually. Report an error in the passage at 5:15 Highlight the passage at 5:15

5:34 But right now, in the terms of this moment, what is it? Ahang Sukhito Homi. Report an error in the passage at 5:34 Highlight the passage at 5:34

5:59 Now, to see yourself as a kind of monolithic personality that is the same all the time is another illusion. I'm this person all the time. Ajahn Sumedho is like this, and I'm, you know, when I'm asleep or awake or... When I'm working or sitting in meditation, when I'm teaching, when I'm playing, when I'm taking a bath or eating my food, I'm the same Ajahn Sumedho all the time. Report an error in the passage at 5:59 Highlight the passage at 5:59

6:33 This is the assumption that some kind of solid personality is always the same. Report an error in the passage at 6:33 Highlight the passage at 6:33

6:45 Notice that that is a perception that we sometimes never question. It's easy to believe I'm just the same person from when I was born 67 years ago. I was born, I wasn't Ajahn Sumedho then. Report an error in the passage at 6:45 Highlight the passage at 6:45

7:06 I didn't even have a name when I was born. And then my mother and father found a name for me. Report an error in the passage at 7:06 Highlight the passage at 7:06

7:18 But it's the same person, isn't it? We can assume that it's always the same. Or in terms of direct knowing, now you're... You're not coming from the position of I am the same person, but what is person? What is personness or personality? Report an error in the passage at 7:18 Highlight the passage at 7:18

7:45 And so that changes, doesn't it? How you feel, how you think, the mood, the emotional state. Report an error in the passage at 7:45 Highlight the passage at 7:45

8:03 As you're aware of your personality, you can see there's nothing solid in it. It's very ephemeral. Report an error in the passage at 8:03 Highlight the passage at 8:03

8:18 I mean, most you can get a kind of solid personality sense of being a real person is when you're angry, you know, when you're feeling really, when you have the clarity of focusing your aversion on somebody, you kind of feel more together than when you're Report an error in the passage at 8:18 Highlight the passage at 8:18

8:38 not, when you don't have a strong emotional state, uncertain, insecure, don't know what to do, Report an error in the passage at 8:38 Highlight the passage at 8:38

8:53 wavering. Then your personality, Report an error in the passage at 8:53 Highlight the passage at 8:53

9:02 you know, you can't, it's so amorphous, nebulous. Report an error in the passage at 9:02 Highlight the passage at 9:02

9:14 Or lust, and one feels, you know, sexual desire, one feels, comes together very strongly as a, you know, aiming at some desired object. You feel pretty strong and focused as a person. Report an error in the passage at 9:14 Highlight the passage at 9:14

9:36 A righteous indignation to be indignant about the injustices of the society and to really harangue the society about how stupid and how unfair and unjust and terrible they are. To come from a righteous place, it makes one feel very together, a sense of being a really strong character. this Report an error in the passage at 9:36 Highlight the passage at 9:36

10:15 uncertain, -washy thing. Report an error in the passage at 10:15 Highlight the passage at 10:15

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10:51 it's an attitude of... Acceptance, welcoming, non-criticalness, of all these different, this gamut, this range of emotional experience, emotional, intellectual, instinctual feelings, activities. So Report an error in the passage at 10:51 Highlight the passage at 10:51

11:24 it gives this sense of embracing, as I talk about welcoming, embracing, and this is mettā. ...applied mettā practice, Report an error in the passage at 11:24 Highlight the passage at 11:24

11:47 because it's not approval, it's not saying, it's not making a value judgment or a moral judgment about anything. It's like this, whatever, feeling wishy-washy, weak and stupid is like this, righteously indignant, arrogant is like this, being lustful, greedy is like this, and Report an error in the passage at 11:47 Highlight the passage at 11:47

12:19 mettā then... allows these conditions it's not not saying when you when you start criticizing or preferring one over the other then you're it's no longer meta and you're you're trying to get rid of the the things you don't like and try to hold on to the things you do so then you're back in the realm of desire the desire realm so Report an error in the passage at 12:19 Highlight the passage at 12:19

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13:17 for me like icons that tend to welcome are can Report an error in the passage at 13:17 Highlight the passage at 13:17

13:25 It can be very good reminders of these Kuan Yin, Bodhisattva, Avalokiteshvara icons, even though they're Mahāyāna, because we're not Mahāyāna, are we? Report an error in the passage at 13:25 Highlight the passage at 13:25

13:49 Do we dare use Mahāyāna in Theravāda, or is that spoiling the purity of our tradition and get into this kind of speculation again? Report an error in the passage at 13:49 Highlight the passage at 13:49

14:05 Recognize that religious conventions, they're not pure. You know, they're conventional. You're not going to find any purity in any convention. It's not a matter of not spoiling the purity of our tradition. That can be another arrogant, self-righteous position we take. But if we feel that way, then we can be aware of our fear or our views about other traditions. Report an error in the passage at 14:05 Highlight the passage at 14:05

14:43 The way we can just dismiss, it's easy, you know, I hear a lot of Theravadans dismiss Mahāyāna just because it's not Theravāda, then we just kind of, well, it's not the real Buddhist teaching and dismiss it because Report an error in the passage at 14:43 Highlight the passage at 14:43

15:03 our security depends on it, on maybe an affirmation of our tradition as being somehow the best or the right one. Report an error in the passage at 15:03 Highlight the passage at 15:03

15:18 But mettā includes all of this, doesn't it? Our self-righteousness, our fear, our anxiety, our insecurity, and then it's mettā embraces and allows insecurity to be insecure or fear to be fearful. So Report an error in the passage at 15:18 Highlight the passage at 15:18

15:54 when we say it's like this, this is just a way of allowing something we might resist a lot, allowing it to be conscious. Report an error in the passage at 15:54 Highlight the passage at 15:54

16:05 It's like this, like fear is like this. That to me, when I say that to myself, if I'm feeling frightened or threatened by something, then Report an error in the passage at 16:05 Highlight the passage at 16:05

16:17 it helps me to remind myself to just accept this, to embrace this feeling of fear, to allow it to be conscious rather than my personality reaction would be to resist it, to try to get rid of it, see it as a... Something I've got to get rid of. Conquer. I've got to conquer my arrogant side of my personality. Report an error in the passage at 16:17 Highlight the passage at 16:17

16:48 I want to conquer. Report an error in the passage at 16:48 Highlight the passage at 16:48

16:53 In my warrior positioning, I don't want to be a frightened, cowardly man. A pusillanimous pussycat. My Report an error in the passage at 16:53 Highlight the passage at 16:53

17:15 masculine image is... He wants to support myself as kind of brave, courageous, tough, and Report an error in the passage at 17:15 Highlight the passage at 17:15

17:31 conqueror, the conqueror. Then there's another side. It is weak, frightened, pusillanimous. I Report an error in the passage at 17:31 Highlight the passage at 17:31

17:58 don't like that. And I don't want anybody to see that. I don't want anyone to see that. I present myself as a champion. This is the world, isn't it? This conflict that we create. So Report an error in the passage at 17:58 Highlight the passage at 17:58

18:33 mettā then includes both. It's not judging the conquering energy as being something I shouldn't have or it's not judging the weak, the cowardly side, the frightened. Report an error in the passage at 18:33 Highlight the passage at 18:33

19:00 it's being frightened and feeling weak. Report an error in the passage at 19:00 Highlight the passage at 19:00

19:13 feeling and courageous is like this. Report an error in the passage at 19:13 Highlight the passage at 19:13

19:19 it's on the way it is. Report an error in the passage at 19:19 Highlight the passage at 19:19

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20:13 Learning to accept things takes patience, to allow misery. Pain, and that doesn't mean, like you're not conquering, that attitude of conquering pain and conquering your weaknesses, that's not mettā, that's the world again, worldly attitude. So getting back to the mettā practice of may I abide in well-being, well-being towards all the conditions that you might be experiencing. Report an error in the passage at 20:13 Highlight the passage at 20:13

20:59 Non-judging, taking an interest, welcoming, even weakness and worry, anxiety. So Report an error in the passage at 20:59 Highlight the passage at 20:59

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21:46 then this is getting back to the Buddha in the Puto. I've used this as my lifetime mantra, Puto, and this is like the Thai forest tradition. Report an error in the passage at 21:46 Highlight the passage at 21:46

22:05 They're kind of the thing that they... I mean, almost all the forests Ajahn teach, Ajahn Man, Ajahn Chah. Report an error in the passage at 22:05 Highlight the passage at 22:05

22:19 There's a mantric form of the Buddha, Bhutto. And this, and then translated as the one that knows, the one who knows, or the pure knowing, the awakened state of being. So Report an error in the passage at 22:19 Highlight the passage at 22:19

22:51 the Bhutto is the pure consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 22:51 Highlight the passage at 22:51

22:58 Pure awareness. And Report an error in the passage at 22:58 Highlight the passage at 22:58

23:07 so taking refuge in the Buddha is this. To me, this is what it means. Bhutto is a mantra, but Report an error in the passage at 23:07 Highlight the passage at 23:07

23:23 it's not just a kind of mesmerizing, hypnotizing use of a word. You know, just kind of hypnotize myself with these two syllables. But it can be used as that, but also... Bhutan Srirangacami is this. Report an error in the passage at 23:23 Highlight the passage at 23:23

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23:42 It's to remind that what is the Buddha right now? This is inquiring, self-inquiring. In Report an error in the passage at 23:42 Highlight the passage at 23:42

23:55 terms of right now, what Report an error in the passage at 23:55 Highlight the passage at 23:55

24:02 is the Buddha? What is Report an error in the passage at 24:02 Highlight the passage at 24:02

24:12 the Buddha? Like a question. Report an error in the passage at 24:12 Highlight the passage at 24:12

24:17 If it's just a belief in some historical figure, that's just some kind of perception, isn't it? You're holding to some perception of Buddha, which comes and goes. Perceptions of Buddha are like... You can study buddhology and read the history of the Lord Buddha and that. That's not, that's only perception. Report an error in the passage at 24:17 Highlight the passage at 24:17

24:44 That's sanya ankara. Report an error in the passage at 24:44 Highlight the passage at 24:44

25:14 Then what my mind does when I do this is it goes into this state of just awareness. This pure, I Report an error in the passage at 25:14 Highlight the passage at 25:14

25:26 find it naturally, it kind of settles into this like a settling effect. As I stop trying to Find the Buddha and think about it and define it and question and get myself all in a twist around what is the Buddha, where is the Buddha, trying to figure it out. Report an error in the passage at 25:26 Highlight the passage at 25:26

25:51 And so I just use it as a way of just being aware, settling into this state of pure consciousness where Report an error in the passage at 25:51 Highlight the passage at 25:51

26:11 I can hear this sound of silence. I Report an error in the passage at 26:11 Highlight the passage at 26:11

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27:50 surrender to that. Report an error in the passage at 27:50 Highlight the passage at 27:50

28:00 This attitude of patience, or this word surrender, or relaxation. Some people don't like the word surrender, but relaxation, relaxing, Report an error in the passage at 28:00 Highlight the passage at 28:00

28:24 trusting, letting go of everything. You can just trust in this refuge of pure consciousness, where there's awareness, knowing. There's a knowing. Report an error in the passage at 28:24 Highlight the passage at 28:24

28:50 But it's not focused on anything in particular. It's not knowing about or thinking about anything, just conscious attention that embraces this present moment completely and all that appears in our consciousness. It's non-critical. It Report an error in the passage at 28:50 Highlight the passage at 28:50

29:23 embraces the body, the breath, any mood, thoughts, memories that you're experiencing now. Report an error in the passage at 29:23 Highlight the passage at 29:23

29:35 It includes everything, sight, Report an error in the passage at 29:35 Highlight the passage at 29:35

29:41 sound, smell, taste, touch. It Report an error in the passage at 29:41 Highlight the passage at 29:41

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30:21 includes physical pain or it includes bad moods. It includes good and bad, neutral, Report an error in the passage at 30:21 Highlight the passage at 30:21

30:36 coarse and refined, nothing, everything belongs. Report an error in the passage at 30:36 Highlight the passage at 30:36

30:47 So this way of reflecting, we don't have any, you know, just learning to trust, relax and trust. In the present moment, simple as that, nothing you have to do. Report an error in the passage at 30:47 Highlight the passage at 30:47

31:03 You don't have to spend your time trying to purify yourself and get rid of your desires and make yourself into a better person and try to prove yourself and purify yourself, solve all your problems, all this kind of thinking. It includes it. It's even a metaphor for this kind of thinking, all these compulsive feelings of having to get something or become something that we're not, or get rid of our weaknesses, our anger, our bad thoughts, our dirty thoughts, Report an error in the passage at 31:03 Highlight the passage at 31:03

31:53 our selfishness. We've got to get rid of selfishness. Report an error in the passage at 31:53 Highlight the passage at 31:53

32:00 Notice that this kind is dandha. that dana, bhava dana, vipa dana. Report an error in the passage at 32:00 Highlight the passage at 32:00

32:13 Desire always has this quality of there's something I've got to do. I've got to get something I don't have yet. I've got to get rid of what I have that isn't any good. Report an error in the passage at 32:13 Highlight the passage at 32:13

32:25 There's always this feeling of impending doom. There's something I've got to get. I've got to get enlightened. I've got to practice harder. I've got to purify myself. got to purify myself. Report an error in the passage at 32:25 Highlight the passage at 32:25

32:42 I've got to get rid of my impurity. Report an error in the passage at 32:42 Highlight the passage at 32:42

32:48 So these are the bhava dana vipava dana that we easily identify or attach to and get intimidated all the time. It's endless. It just goes on and on and on. If you never get beyond dana, even after years in the robe, you're never going to feel pure enough or good enough or wise enough. Report an error in the passage at 32:48 Highlight the passage at 32:48

33:18 That's why people get so discouraged, because they put a lot of faith in becoming samanas, and then they think it's going to purify them. If Report an error in the passage at 33:18 Highlight the passage at 33:18

33:34 you live celibate, if you eat vegetarian food, if you refrain Report an error in the passage at 33:34 Highlight the passage at 33:34

33:45 from dancing, singing, worldly activities, sensual indulgences. Refrain from all that and kind of make yourself into some kind of pure state of purity through discipline. And Report an error in the passage at 33:45 Highlight the passage at 33:45

34:11 so then we try, and if we get caught into that, then it's Report an error in the passage at 34:11 Highlight the passage at 34:11

34:18 such a disappointment trying to be good and pure as a willful act. It's something you die to. You go blank. You become kind of depressed. depressed in Report an error in the passage at 34:18 Highlight the passage at 34:18

34:37 So Report an error in the passage at 34:37 Highlight the passage at 34:37

34:52 like bhava dhanah vipa dharma dhanah, three kinds of desire, and these desires, recognize, are to be welcomed. Like to let go of desire doesn't mean you're annihilating it and destroying it. When letting go of desire is not an attack, a demolishing, an annihilation of desire. desire, it's, it's. It's welcoming, accepting desire, knowing desire. Report an error in the passage at 34:52 Highlight the passage at 34:52

35:31 Dhanah is like this, this wanting to become something, wanting to become even a good monk or a good nun or wanting to become an Arahant, wanting to get rid of all your defilements. Report an error in the passage at 35:31 Highlight the passage at 35:31

35:58 And this can be very righteous. You know, it seems right, doesn't it, to get rid of your defilements. It seems right to me. In my logical mind, you know, you should get rid of your bad habits and you should develop good ones. Report an error in the passage at 35:58 Highlight the passage at 35:58

36:16 You should develop skillful means and you should let go and get rid of your bad habits. Report an error in the passage at 36:16 Highlight the passage at 36:16

36:29 That's true. Report an error in the passage at 36:29 Highlight the passage at 36:29

36:33 I agree completely. But then we're coming now out of the intellectual, rational world toward the reality of this moment. Report an error in the passage at 36:33 Highlight the passage at 36:33

36:45 That's the kind of, that comes out of the thinking process, so it's very dualistic. You know, you can't get perspective, you can't get perspective on things through thinking about them, through just following your thoughts. So that's why you have this true but not right, right but not true problem. You know, it's true. Report an error in the passage at 36:45 Highlight the passage at 36:45

37:22 Develop skillful means is good. To let go and get rid of bad habits is right. Report an error in the passage at 37:22 Highlight the passage at 37:22

37:35 But now we're coming into a place of awareness rather than of reason and logic. So this is satisampacanya, satipanya, intuitive awareness, which embraces this feeling, I've got to get something, I've got to purify myself. You can be aware of that. It's a pavadana, isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 37:35 Highlight the passage at 37:35

38:09 Wanting to become something, you know, wanting to attain something, wanting to, even if it's something very good, it's still bhava dhanah, as long as it's coming out of ignorance. Report an error in the passage at 38:09 Highlight the passage at 38:09

38:25 Or with bhava dhanah, trying to get rid of the bad habits of anger and jealousy, fear, trying to kill the kilesas, get rid of your development. Report an error in the passage at 38:25 Highlight the passage at 38:25

38:39 It's like this. Report an error in the passage at 38:39 Highlight the passage at 38:39

38:45 So listen, you know, listen inwardly to, gama dhanah is quite... Simple enough, isn't it? Wanting sense pleasure. Report an error in the passage at 38:45 Highlight the passage at 38:45

39:00 You know, the sense world, this world that we live in is sensual world. It's sensual, it's attractive and it's repulsive. You know, these endless attractions through the senses. That's just natural. That's the way it is. What is attractive is, you know, one feels attracted towards what is attractive. Report an error in the passage at 39:00 Highlight the passage at 39:00

39:24 It's just the way it is. We Report an error in the passage at 39:24 Highlight the passage at 39:24

39:33 shouldn't Report an error in the passage at 39:33 Highlight the passage at 39:33

39:59 have sensual desires. taking it personally, isn't it, is where it gets off the track. Report an error in the passage at 39:59 Highlight the passage at 39:59

40:00 We shouldn't, shouldn't... Be attracted to the beautiful. We shouldn't feel that, you know, sensual attraction is bad. We get into puritanism, puritanical positions. Report an error in the passage at 40:00 Highlight the passage at 40:00

40:20 Or, Report an error in the passage at 40:20 Highlight the passage at 40:20

40:24 I've got to get rid of sensual desires. I've got to get rid of lust and greed and those nasty things that pull me into the sense world, all those attractive things. Sensual pleasures, I've got to destroy that kind of desires, vipa-vadana. So into that, if your practice is around, like asceticism is a vipa-vadana approach. Report an error in the passage at 40:24 Highlight the passage at 40:24

41:10 So you're caught in the cycle all the time. There's no liberation as long as you believe in this. dualism of got to hold on to the good and get rid of the bad. Report an error in the passage at 41:10 Highlight the passage at 41:10

41:33 So in the sattisampatanya, this transcendent awareness, you can actually see these are mental conditions. We create them. Report an error in the passage at 41:33 Highlight the passage at 41:33

41:54 They're aramana. They're objects, mental objects, mental formations. Report an error in the passage at 41:54 Highlight the passage at 41:54

· · · silence, 1 minute

42:31 So I can hear it like... The rantings, you know, no, I don't have this problem because I've explored it so much for so many years. Well, I've been a monk for 35, 36 years now. I've had a lot of time to investigate all this. The rantings used to be kind of a perpetual little blow key of trying to purify myself. Report an error in the passage at 42:31 Highlight the passage at 42:31

43:08 And then the inner tyrant just ranting about, you know, any kind of foolish thought. Then I couldn't even, you know, just dirty thought or small-mindedness, selfishness. Then this thing would say, you shouldn't. You've got to purify yourself. You've got to get rid of those kind of things. You've got to... Report an error in the passage at 43:08 Highlight the passage at 43:08

43:41 You know, then you look at the other monks and you think, they don't have those problems, they're all so pure. Or you look at Luang Por Chah and you think, oh, he's so, he's pure, and I'm not, and I've got to get rid of impurity and become pure. Then listening to this scenario, I'm impure, and I've got to become pure. What is that coming from? Report an error in the passage at 43:41 Highlight the passage at 43:41

44:11 That's a creation, isn't it? I'm creating. Those are words, those are identities that I see myself as a person, as a pure or impure person. Report an error in the passage at 44:11 Highlight the passage at 44:11

44:27 I've never been able to see myself as a pure person, because my personality is basically impure. It's just the way it is. Report an error in the passage at 44:27 Highlight the passage at 44:27

44:41 I've given up trying to have a pure personality. It's a waste of time anyway. There's another delusion. So what is purity isn't Report an error in the passage at 44:41 Highlight the passage at 44:41

45:01 in the personal, isn't by becoming a pure person, is it? But it's purity is our natural, pure consciousness. It's pure when we're trusting in awareness. We're in a state of purity, a natural purity. It's not a personal attainment. I can't claim it as some kind of my purity. Report an error in the passage at 45:01 Highlight the passage at 45:01

45:31 It doesn't make sense saying my purity as a personal attainment. It's not like that. So Report an error in the passage at 45:31 Highlight the passage at 45:31

46:04 like desire, the desire realm is like this. Report an error in the passage at 46:04 Highlight the passage at 46:04

46:13 Desire is a starting point. You're not trying to get rid of desire. We're not here to get rid of our desires. If you're here to get rid of your desires, And start seeing that as some kind of, you know, this is something you're creating. I'm somebody that has desires and I've got to get rid of them. This is a, this is a, just note that this might be the assumption you're making about practice, about being a monk or a nun. Report an error in the passage at 46:13 Highlight the passage at 46:13

46:50 Or Report an error in the passage at 46:50 Highlight the passage at 46:50

47:00 desire is to be, you know, like, to be understood. Dukkha is to be understood. Desire is to be understood, to know it. This is a desire realm, a sense realm. It's all about desire, isn't it? The beautiful, the ugly. We desire the beautiful and we desire to get rid of the ugly. Report an error in the passage at 47:00 Highlight the passage at 47:00

47:31 So the desire realm is we're not trying to demolish, not Armageddon and the kind of annihilation of the world. The Report an error in the passage at 47:31 Highlight the passage at 47:31

47:49 Buddha is Report an error in the passage at 47:49 Highlight the passage at 47:49

48:14 not the destroyer of the world. it's bad, but of the world, loker we do. Report an error in the passage at 48:14 Highlight the passage at 48:14

48:16 world, look at what we do. knower of the world. Report an error in the passage at 48:16 Highlight the passage at 48:16

48:29 Observing, or even your aspiration to get rid of your bad, your weaknesses and your bad habits, Report an error in the passage at 48:29 Highlight the passage at 48:29

48:41 what is that, you know, like, really contemplate that. What does it feel like, the sense of wanting to get rid of something, feeling that there's something wrong with you and you've got to get rid of it, find out what's wrong and get rid of it. What is that like in terms of energetically at this moment? Report an error in the passage at 48:41 Highlight the passage at 48:41

49:06 What is it like to feel this sense of I've got to get rid of something? I've got to change. I've got to get rid of my bad habits. Report an error in the passage at 49:06 Highlight the passage at 49:06

49:25 And when I do this, then I notice this. I deliberately think it, and I think it and listen to myself. I've got to get rid of my bad habits. Report an error in the passage at 49:25 Highlight the passage at 49:25

49:38 And then there's awareness, and then there's this mental state of I've got something that I shouldn't have. I've got to get rid of it. Report an error in the passage at 49:38 Highlight the passage at 49:38

49:48 That's a Buddha knowing the dhamma, seeing this dhamma, this condition, dhamma, as putting Report an error in the passage at 49:48 Highlight the passage at 49:48

50:02 it as a saṅkhāra and clinging to it, or seeing it in terms of its dhamma, what arises ceases. Report an error in the passage at 50:02 Highlight the passage at 50:02

50:29 And if you stay with that feeling, not analyzing yourself anymore, but just noticing this. Something wrong with me, this feeling of something I've got to do, something I've got to get, is like this. And if you learn to embrace that feeling and welcome it, let it be the way it is, it drops away. Report an error in the passage at 50:29 Highlight the passage at 50:29

51:11 That's the end of the world, the cessation of desire. And what is that like? Report an error in the passage at 51:11 Highlight the passage at 51:11

· · · silence, 1 minute

52:22 Cessation in the past. The Fourth Noble Truth. When you begin to realize and recognize the ending of conditions, it's a reality, it's not a theory. And it's simple enough. If you're patient and willing and accepting, then things naturally cease. It's not me trying to get rid of them. It's the way it is. Report an error in the passage at 52:22 Highlight the passage at 52:22

52:58 The cessation. And then we see the path, this way of awareness. Report an error in the passage at 52:58 Highlight the passage at 52:58

53:18 Put it into eight folds. This is a full path, but it's really a moment of this awareness. The realization of it. didi, sama sangapo. Report an error in the passage at 53:18 Highlight the passage at 53:18

53:41 Something that we used to be attached to and identified with, it's gone now. It's absent. There's still the bhutto, the awareness. But this awareness now, it's not attached to anything. It's not a personal attainment. It's Report an error in the passage at 53:41 Highlight the passage at 53:41

54:12 just very natural, conscious, Report an error in the passage at 54:12 Highlight the passage at 54:12

54:21 relaxed state of being. Report an error in the passage at 54:21 Highlight the passage at 54:21

· · · silence, 1 minute

55:07 It's like monastic life. Report an error in the passage at 55:07 Highlight the passage at 55:07

55:11 In anything like this, we live in this tradition. Notice that we have our heroes and our icons of what really good monks are and so forth. We have Ajahn Man and we have Ajahn Chah now as an icon. When you're dead, you become an icon. Report an error in the passage at 55:11 Highlight the passage at 55:11

55:35 You have Ajahn Chah stories and Ajahn Chah... It's like Ajahn Mun's stories. Who knows what Ajahn Mun was like as a human being? All you've got left is a kind of icon of him. Report an error in the passage at 55:35 Highlight the passage at 55:35

55:53 So recognize that these are inspired. These inspire the mind. Report an error in the passage at 55:53 Highlight the passage at 55:53

56:01 And inspiration helps. It gives you a boost, gets you going. But it's not a refuge. You can't depend on inspiration as something that's going to take you to enlightenment. Report an error in the passage at 56:01 Highlight the passage at 56:01

56:23 So we can get intimidated. Ajahn Man, Ajahn Chah, or the Buddha, or the great teachers of the past. You can even see, you know, probably some of you project onto me all kinds of things, you know, of ideals and hopes. Report an error in the passage at 56:23 Highlight the passage at 56:23

56:56 And when I die, if I don't screw it up before I die, then I'll become an icon. Report an error in the passage at 56:56 Highlight the passage at 56:56

57:06 And probably if I screw up, I'll become an icon. Report an error in the passage at 57:06 Highlight the passage at 57:06

57:13 This is just the Sanya Sankara. Report an error in the passage at 57:13 Highlight the passage at 57:13

57:30 But then on a personal level, to compare yourself to an icon is ridiculous, isn't it? I mean, you know, you can only feel you're not as good. Looking at the Buddha Rūpa, I can only feel... I'm never going to look that good. Report an error in the passage at 57:30 Highlight the passage at 57:30

57:54 I Report an error in the passage at 57:54 Highlight the passage at 57:54

57:59 feel intimidated by that Buddha Rūpa because it makes me feel inferior. Report an error in the passage at 57:59 Highlight the passage at 57:59

58:09 Or that's not what it's there for. That's how we can use icons but not grasp them. So we're not trying to become Ajahn Chahs or Ajahn Mans or Buddhas. Or here in the Tibetan tradition they have all these, like Milarepa and these kind of... Padmasambhava and all these kind of marvelous figures that did all these fantastic ascetic practices, living on nettle soup and living out in a cave and doing all kinds of fantastic kind of physical endurance tests. Report an error in the passage at 58:09 Highlight the passage at 58:09

59:01 We can feel very intimidated by all that. Report an error in the passage at 59:01 Highlight the passage at 59:01

59:07 So what we can know is that, you know, when we're presented with these icons of perfection or ideals of humanity, then how do you feel about it? If I say, this is what you should be, you should be like Milarepa. Report an error in the passage at 59:07 Highlight the passage at 59:07

59:29 What you can know is what you feel when I say that. Report an error in the passage at 59:29 Highlight the passage at 59:29

59:35 That's a direct knowing. If you trust in that awareness. Report an error in the passage at 59:35 Highlight the passage at 59:35

59:43 Of what you are feeling, maybe I'm intimidating you. I'm saying you should be like Report an error in the passage at 59:43 Highlight the passage at 59:43

59:53 Ajahn Man, very strict, impeccable monk. And Report an error in the passage at 59:53 Highlight the passage at 59:53

1:00:04 then you have these ideals of, you know, you're not very strict, you're not impeccable, I can't do it, I'm not good enough, I'm not as good as Ajahn. That's a feeling, isn't it? If that intimidation you feel, sense of... being inferior is like this. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:04 Highlight the passage at 1:00:04

1:00:30 this is what I'm trying to as a path, is awareness, trust in it. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:30 Highlight the passage at 1:00:30

1:00:57 This feeling of being not good enough is like this. Or this feeling of being better than somebody else is like this. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:57 Highlight the passage at 1:00:57

1:01:09 Sometimes we feel we're superior to somebody. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:09 Highlight the passage at 1:01:09

1:01:16 I keep the rules much better than you do. I get up at 2.30 in the morning and do exercises. That makes me better than most of you. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:16 Highlight the passage at 1:01:16

1:01:38 You can't do that. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:38 Highlight the passage at 1:01:38

1:01:48 So then Ajahn Sumedho groupies say, Ajahn Sumedho gets up at 2.30 in the morning. We should get up at 2.30 in the morning. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:48 Highlight the passage at 1:01:48

1:01:58 How do you feel when somebody says that? You know, this is to trust in that awareness of what you are feeling. Whether it's, you know, you're a party liner or you're a rebel or you're just, you feel, you know, very intimidated or insecure by... By all these superlative examples, what you can know is that this is the way I'm feeling. The feeling, the emotional reaction is like this. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:58 Highlight the passage at 1:01:58

1:02:43 Just pointing that out, to trust that. To Report an error in the passage at 1:02:43 Highlight the passage at 1:02:43

1:02:55 me, this is what I call developing the path, cultivating that. Because real pawana is, when we talk about pawana in the Pāli word pawana, which is used in the Four Noble... Fourth noble truth, there is the eightfold path, the way of non-suffering. It should be cultivated or developed, which is bhavana. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:55 Highlight the passage at 1:02:55

1:03:22 They use the word bhavana. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:22 Highlight the passage at 1:03:22

1:03:27 So this is, to me, what bhavana is. And in Thailand, they use bhavana as a word for meditation. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:27 Highlight the passage at 1:03:27

1:03:37 In fact, the head monk at Wat Puttapati, The Tanjalkun, the head monk at the Thai temple in London, his name is Tanjalkun Pawanath. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:37 Highlight the passage at 1:03:37

1:03:53 So Pawanath, this is, Pawanath is not aesthetic, is it? It's not like fighting your defilements and trying to make yourself perfect, but it's awareness, seeing this, trusting, because you can't get behind it, you can only be away. You know, trust in awakened attention. And the path then is being able to see your, you know, what you ought to acknowledge and accept what you are, what is conscious at this moment through physical or emotional conditioning. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:53 Highlight the passage at 1:03:53