Stopping Struggling (1999)

0:02 I want to welcome everybody this afternoon. Obviously the subject of this discussion was very important. Report an error in the passage at 0:02 Highlight the passage at 0:02

0:16 Stop Report an error in the passage at 0:16 Highlight the passage at 0:16

0:21 struggling. So Report an error in the passage at 0:21 Highlight the passage at 0:21

0:32 these are reflections on experience, on life. So it's just to be trying to create an atmosphere of using our mind not for... Report an error in the passage at 0:32 Highlight the passage at 0:32

0:47 Just being agreeing or disagreeing blindly but really observing and trying to open your mind and contemplate or consider so that because this is a wonderful gift that we have we can get very fixed in the way we see ourselves in the world through being attached to very kind of definite ideas and positions that we take. Report an error in the passage at 0:47 Highlight the passage at 0:47

1:19 And then as we develop spiritually, we open the mind to observe the causes of suffering or how this kind of fixity or rigidity that we can create for ourselves is really quite unpleasant, unpleasant way to have to be because you're always forced into a position of defensiveness or you have to be aggressive to get rid of something or you have to... Report an error in the passage at 1:19 Highlight the passage at 1:19

2:16 or ideals that you might have about life as it should The Buddha was pointing to the way things are using the experience of suffering as a focus because this is a common factor that we all share. We all suffer in various ways and this is a common bond amongst all human beings everywhere from the most privileged and wealthy and And that to the most underprivileged. Suffering isn't just a matter of poverty, but of mental activity, the way we think and the kind of blind attachments we form when we don't even know what we're doing. Report an error in the passage at 2:16 Highlight the passage at 2:16

3:08 So the kind of struggling with life all the time, feeling of a constant battle. battle and something. There's only a sense of something you have to do. There's something more to do. And no matter how hard you try, how much effort you put into something, still there's a kind of feeling that there's a lot more you've got to find out, you've got to learn, you've got to do. Report an error in the passage at 3:08 Highlight the passage at 3:08

3:41 And so we oftentimes bring this into spiritual development or meditation. So Buddhist meditation can be an endless struggle if you see it in terms of your conditioning of your mind, because on a personal level, how we perceive ourselves as a person, it's based on this idea that there's something wrong, we've got to try to get it right, we've got to become something that we're not, and the way we are isn't good enough, and we've got to... Report an error in the passage at 3:41 Highlight the passage at 3:41

4:18 Do something about that. And that becomes a kind of assumption of the mind, an underlying attitude that we become so used to, we don't even notice it. Many people aren't even aware that this is influencing their experience, but they do feel a sense of stress or struggle or life even when life is a going thing. Report an error in the passage at 4:18 Highlight the passage at 4:18

4:47 It can still seem, you know, like a struggle just to get up in the morning, live with somebody else or have a job or whatever. So Report an error in the passage at 4:47 Highlight the passage at 4:47

5:06 then this attitude has stopped struggling because this is a suggestion to the mind to instead of just kind of operating from this Report an error in the passage at 5:06 Highlight the passage at 5:06

5:21 Copyright © 2020 Mooji Media Ltd. All Rights Reserved. about, you know, that you're... Not good enough and you've got to do something to remedy that, hopefully. Or there's a lot of bad habits and that you've got to get rid of. Report an error in the passage at 5:21 Highlight the passage at 5:21

6:05 And this doesn't mean that this isn't true at all, that we're just perfect as we are and we don't have to do anything. Report an error in the passage at 6:05 Highlight the passage at 6:05

6:19 Because that's another position we take, you know, it's another way of deluding ourselves. I'm all right the way I am, I don't have to change, I don't have to do anything. It's another position. But what I'm pointing to is the openness of the mind where we aren't taking a position, where we're in the state of receptive awareness, attention, paying attention to... Report an error in the passage at 6:19 Highlight the passage at 6:19

6:47 uh... What we're actually feeling, and this attentiveness, then we become increasingly aware of unconscious assumptions we might have. Report an error in the passage at 6:47 Highlight the passage at 6:47

7:03 When I started meditation, this was very much, this was the thing, I was meditating in order to get rid of all kinds of obsessive thoughts, bad habits. Report an error in the passage at 7:03 Highlight the passage at 7:03

7:17 Hoping to someday achieve this desired goal of enlightenment. And that is something that will happen in the future if I work hard enough. Report an error in the passage at 7:17 Highlight the passage at 7:17

7:28 And then coming from the kind of cultural background that I'm from, where it's the work ethic, you know, work hard and you get rewarded for it. And the harder you work, then you get a much better reward. And you don't get anything for nothing. Report an error in the passage at 7:28 Highlight the passage at 7:28

7:47 I became a monk. That Report an error in the passage at 7:47 Highlight the passage at 7:47

7:57 was my rebellion against the work. Report an error in the passage at 7:57 Highlight the passage at 7:57

8:05 But then, just because even if you rebel against all that, it's still the basic programming of the mind, whether you're for or against it. It's not a matter of going from one extreme to the other, but of a simple imminent act of awakening. And this is the kind of... good. Report an error in the passage at 8:05 Highlight the passage at 8:05

8:27 Greatness of the Buddha's teaching because the Buddha actually means awakened. The one who knows. It's the ability that we all have to pay attention and to pay attention to what we're actually experiencing, the way life is. Report an error in the passage at 8:27 Highlight the passage at 8:27

8:47 So mindfulness, which is the kind of key word to Buddhist practice, mindfulness. And they use a The Pāli word sati, and this means to bring into consciousness the way it is. When we're mindful, then we're aware of time and place. We're aware of, we're bringing into consciousness at this present moment right now the way we're feeling, the kind of mood we happen to be in, or the... Report an error in the passage at 8:47 Highlight the passage at 8:47

9:23 Or the way the body feels right now, or the posture it's in, or with meditation we start with very basic things like just the way the body sits, stands, walks, or lies down, four postures, or the basic feelings of getting to recognize just awareness of the physical body as it exists, and as we allow our consciousness to experience just the The weight and the temperature and the physicality of our own human body. We're aware of the breath, because that's another function that's going on now. Report an error in the passage at 9:23 Highlight the passage at 9:23

10:05 So it's like bringing attention, learning to pay attention to the way it is in the present. And so satya is bringing into consciousness the body is like this, breath is like this. Report an error in the passage at 10:05 Highlight the passage at 10:05

10:24 The state of mind we're in is like this. We're aware of the sensitivity that we all have to experience being conscious entities. And we have eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body. All this is kind of fraught. It's a totally sensitive condition in the universe. It is always experiencing some kind of pleasure, pleasurable or painful or neutral. Report an error in the passage at 10:24 Highlight the passage at 10:24

10:55 Sensations. And then just the way the mind can move. We can be elated one minute and depressed the next, emotionally. Sometimes it's like being on a roller coaster, isn't it? You're just up and then down in a second. Why is that? Why can't we find one kind of particular blissful state and totally painless and pleasurable physical sensations and only be able to see what is truly beautiful and hear what is truly pleasant to the ear and smell only fragrant odors taste only the delicious flavors and why can't we just feel good all the time have temperature you know where we're never not too cold not too hot everything's just perfect and of course This is what modern materialism has been trying to do to us, isn't it? Trying to find this kind of perfect environment, the feel-good environment. Report an error in the passage at 10:55 Highlight the passage at 10:55

11:58 And they use this word now a lot, it's a feel-good society. We want to feel good all the time. We want to feel healthy, feel happy, feel comfortable, and not feel stressed out. Report an error in the passage at 11:58 Highlight the passage at 11:58

12:15 so forth. It's amazing how stressed out everybody gets, trying to feel good all the time. So what are we doing? We're missing out on something. Report an error in the passage at 12:15 Highlight the passage at 12:15

12:35 And life is, you know, compared to, say, life as a monk here in England as I first lived it in Thailand. they? Report an error in the passage at 12:35 Highlight the passage at 12:35

12:49 There it was, it didn't generally didn't feel so good because it was in a very kind of rural area out in forests and jungles and mosquitoes and we slept on just grass mats and we ate just kind of coarse food and whatever was around and yet I noticed that Report an error in the passage at 12:49 Highlight the passage at 12:49

13:19 Living like that, once you started developing and understanding this mindfulness and really appreciating that, then it didn't really matter how comfortable your body is. I found actually living there quite a relief, you know, where life was simple enough. It wasn't high-tech. There was no electricity for years. There was nothing like electricity or any kind of real physical comfort or luxury. Report an error in the passage at 13:19 Highlight the passage at 13:19

13:56 But the mind was finding some kind of peacefulness or serenity or balance in it more and more. So that one dealt with, say, like the... aggravating problem around mosquitoes. Now here in England, it's like paradise. Mosquitoes are no problem. And snakes, and all the kind of insect life that you find in tropical countries. Report an error in the passage at 13:56 Highlight the passage at 13:56

14:33 You have this problem here, it's the cold, isn't it? You get cold. And so we've managed to create a society where we can feel warm all the time. For as much as we can. So we have invented central heating and all kinds of wonderful things too. Insulation, double glazing and all the rest. So we don't really have to suffer from the cold except the kind of moments when you go out of your door into your car. Report an error in the passage at 14:33 Highlight the passage at 14:33

15:16 Now they probably have heated garages and things like that. Report an error in the passage at 15:16 Highlight the passage at 15:16

15:24 But even though we have created this luxury society, which is comfortable, and I'm not complaining, I enjoy it too, I enjoy comfort, but the important thing is the mind, that if you have just physical comfort, physical luxury, you can still be totally miserable just through the way you're thinking. Report an error in the passage at 15:24 Highlight the passage at 15:24

15:51 The way the habits of the mind, if you don't understand them, then we can, you know, we can really drop into low states of hell and depression just through thought, through thinking in the wrong way. And yet we might be living in the most salubrious, most wonderful situation with the nicest people and drop into hell. Report an error in the passage at 15:51 Highlight the passage at 15:51

16:26 So Buddha was emphasizing the importance of the mind, like mind is the leader, and where I think modern materialism has emphasized the development of technology, which makes our life convenient. Report an error in the passage at 16:26 Highlight the passage at 16:26

16:43 And the irony of it is that I've never heard the word stress used so much as in the past since they've invented the computer. I don't remember using that word very much. Report an error in the passage at 16:43 Highlight the passage at 16:43

16:58 But since computer came into everybody's life, stress seems to be the kind of hissing sound that you hear. And I know if you give any kind of seminars on how to deal with stress, usually they're filled up in no time. All I have to do is say, I'm going to give a talk on stress, how to deal with stress. And everybody wants to know how to deal with stress. Report an error in the passage at 16:58 Highlight the passage at 16:58

17:29 Because this is a common form of suffering that we all share. Report an error in the passage at 17:29 Highlight the passage at 17:29

17:39 So then we reflect that it's really the mind that, not to dismiss the body, Buddhism isn't a kind of denial of the physical world or a rejection of it, but it's putting into perspective how to deal with the physical body, with the human body, with the sensitivity of it, with the... Report an error in the passage at 17:39 Highlight the passage at 17:39

18:15 by noticing, by paying attention through this awakened awareness. Report an error in the passage at 18:15 Highlight the passage at 18:15

18:24 Generally, many of us start out doing this, then we are very critical. I remember one of the common questions people ask is, how can I get rid of my anger? Because this is a mental state that we feel we don't want. Or if it's something that we find difficult to deal with, so we want to get rid of it. So whenever anger arises, we say, how can I get rid of it? Report an error in the passage at 18:24 Highlight the passage at 18:24

18:59 And so I remember I was taught, you shouldn't, you should just suppress it. Don't show anger and you should never get, show anger towards your parents or the school teachers or anything like that. I'm from a very old time. Report an error in the passage at 18:59 Highlight the passage at 18:59

19:23 Now I don't think people feel like that. My generation was very much, children didn't express. Anger. I mean, at least to their parents. So you used to do it in other ways. Because it is a strong emotion, so you have to do something with it. Or you get into the other, just following it. And then hurting everybody's feelings and feeling terrible later. Report an error in the passage at 19:23 Highlight the passage at 19:23

19:56 So then you had to go around apologizing to everybody. So... So then there was avoidance. Well, I'll just avoid anything, you know, any possibility, any conditions or situations I might get angry, I'll avoid. So I developed these kind of techniques of kind of removing myself from anything that might arouse this kind of emotion. Report an error in the passage at 19:56 Highlight the passage at 19:56

20:26 Because there was never any other options. Either it was following or suppressing or trying to just avoid it. And then also one was very identified with it. It's my anger. It's my fault. It's something wrong with me. Maybe there's something basically wrong with me for feeling like this. Report an error in the passage at 20:26 Highlight the passage at 20:26

20:54 Because also we didn't really talk much to others about our feelings. We kept it to ourselves. In meditation then I noticed like anger would arise and then I'd generally try to react to it the way that I'm used to. But then the advice in the meditation The meditation teachers would say, observe, you know, witness, you know, what is it like, what does it feel like, and notice its impermanent nature, notice that it's what arises ceases. Report an error in the passage at 20:54 Highlight the passage at 20:54

21:37 So this was a different way of looking at something, rather than just being caught in the immediate kind of reaction of criticizing or... Report an error in the passage at 21:37 Highlight the passage at 21:37

21:52 Personalize it, making it, seeing it in terms of my fault and there's something wrong, to contemplating it as an energetic experience in the present, which is, at first, if you've never done that, not all that easy, but once you get the idea, once you begin to get some success at this, it's quite a relief to the mind to be able to notice Report an error in the passage at 21:52 Highlight the passage at 21:52

22:36 for your time. what happens if you start, if you, and so there's mindfulness. Report an error in the passage at 22:36 Highlight the passage at 22:36

22:44 reflecting on it, not in terms of personal judgment or whether it's right or wrong, Right, wrong, justified or unjustified, but in terms of what it feels like, it's like this, feels like this. And then you begin to notice that anger is an easy one to observe because it has strong physical feelings with it. Report an error in the passage at 22:44 Highlight the passage at 22:44

23:07 So you're more open to, well, the physical feelings are like this, or the mental state of the mind, the quality of the mind is like this. So this is a way of kind of bringing your attention to, say, the mood or the sensations in the body around an emotional experience. Report an error in the passage at 23:07 Highlight the passage at 23:07

23:34 So instead of struggling, the struggling part is usually like trying to get rid of it, thinking, you know, life, how can I get rid of my anger? Report an error in the passage at 23:34 Highlight the passage at 23:34

23:45 How can I stop getting angry? How can I, you know, the struggle of trying to do that, of this, this, Report an error in the passage at 23:45 Highlight the passage at 23:45

24:04 to see it as for a mill, as one of the challenges on the path you need to learn from. Like one sees just the image of the path where you have certain obstructions on the way, certain difficulties. Report an error in the passage at 24:04 Highlight the passage at 24:04

24:29 and these are and when you start looking at them in this way then you can be quite interested in them when you just see them as obstructions that are blocking me and getting in my way and feeling lane you You know, just totally stopped and blocked off by this obstruction, then of course it is depressing and one does feel hopeless. Report an error in the passage at 24:29 Highlight the passage at 24:29

24:56 But in terms of Buddhist practice, we're looking at it now as with mindfulness. So mindfulness, we're bringing into consciousness our own reactions. Report an error in the passage at 24:56 Highlight the passage at 24:56

25:11 Notice that maybe I do feel despair, this is such a problem for me that whenever this condition arises I just feel hopeless and lost. We're acknowledging this sense of emotional despair or self-hatred or whatever. It's like this, we're noticing, we're not adding to it with any kind of criticisms or... Report an error in the passage at 25:11 Highlight the passage at 25:11

25:38 Or comments, but just the way it is. Begin to use conscious experience, instructing yourself with wisdom rather than just being caught in the momentum of habitual reactivity. Report an error in the passage at 25:38 Highlight the passage at 25:38

26:01 Now I found by doing this, that this is definitely, it does, you know, you find that it is interesting. Because it is challenging to the mind to find out, to deal with the particular emotions that I have, that each one of us has to live with, with the way we are, the kind of characters that we have, because each one is different. Report an error in the passage at 26:01 Highlight the passage at 26:01

26:32 We say we are the owners of our karma, that we all have our own karma to deal with. So some people would find certain things not a problem, because others find something very difficult that you might not find a problem at all. Report an error in the passage at 26:32 Highlight the passage at 26:32

26:56 But it's not a matter of who's right and who's wrong, it's how we look at it, and the opportunity and the attitude we have towards what we are experiencing in the present. Report an error in the passage at 26:56 Highlight the passage at 26:56

27:10 Because the present is all we ever have. This experience is now. You'll never experience tomorrow. It's always now. This is where we're breathing. This is where the physical body is. This is the mental state you're in. No matter what it is, it's this way now. And that's just the way it is. And tomorrow your body might be somewhere else. Report an error in the passage at 27:10 Highlight the passage at 27:10

27:41 But as far as experience now, direct experience, it's here. How many of you will be here tomorrow? In this room anyway. But wherever you are, you'll be here in terms of the reflection right now. This is the time, the place, the physical state, the emotional state. Report an error in the passage at 27:41 Highlight the passage at 27:41

28:11 The state of the mind, the quality of the emotion, the people around me, the temperature, whether it's sunny and bright or cold and wet, we're noticing it's like this. Report an error in the passage at 28:11 Highlight the passage at 28:11

28:33 One of the things that I noticed when I lived in Thailand at first, when living in these forest monasteries, was that I became aware of what a complainer I am. Report an error in the passage at 28:33 Highlight the passage at 28:33

28:47 I have a real complaining mind. So, you know, I'd always be kind of grumbling inside, you know, kind of thinking, oh, I don't like that. Why do they have to do it this way? Or it's too hot. Or, you know, why can't we, why can't they build Kuti's little meditation house taller? Why do they have to, why are they so short? Because I was the tallest man. Why do they... Report an error in the passage at 28:47 Highlight the passage at 28:47

29:21 Why do they have to put that awful sauce in everything? Report an error in the passage at 29:21 Highlight the passage at 29:21

29:30 Why do we have to wear all our robes? In the strict Vinaya tradition, you go out on the alms round in the morning and put on all your robes. So you have this robe and you have a double robe. And it gets so hot, you know. To have all these robes on, it seems crazy. seemed crazy because you're just perspiring through them all the time. Report an error in the passage at 29:30 Highlight the passage at 29:30

29:54 And it seemed, you know, common sense says, well, this robe is enough, you don't need the double one, and I'd grumble about that. Report an error in the passage at 29:54 Highlight the passage at 29:54

30:07 But then, the teaching, the teacher, Lungphacha, is always saying, you know, what are the causes of suffering? If you're suffering, you're attached to something. And then, of course, the reaction would be, well, I wouldn't suffer if I didn't have to wear all three robes at the same time. Or, was that really the suffering or was it the grumbling? Report an error in the passage at 30:07 Highlight the passage at 30:07

30:35 Because then I began to see that actually wearing the three robes was all right. I could bear that. I wasn't going to die. And that's the custom and that's the way you're supposed to do it. Do it that way because it... Because I wasn't, you know, I couldn't very well make a stand and rebel against the Vinaya tradition since I chose to be there. Report an error in the passage at 30:35 Highlight the passage at 30:35

31:02 So I learned to kind of surrender to the tradition and observe my grumbling mind and begin to see how miserable I could make myself over things that really were not worth giving attention to. And because life is like this, a human experience, having a human body, living on this planet, there's always so much, it's so irritating, isn't it, to have a human body. Report an error in the passage at 31:02 Highlight the passage at 31:02

31:41 I used to feel it shouldn't be that way. We should feel good all the time. Actually, when you contemplate life, it is. This is a very sensitive state. And there's something always irritating it, agitating you in some way. And that's just the way it is. It's not because there's anything wrong with you or the world, but this is just the way it is, that this state that we're in is like this. Report an error in the passage at 31:41 Highlight the passage at 31:41

32:17 Once I really understood that, then I could accept that. I don't expect not to be irritated. I no longer make that demand. I no longer think that life should be a completely pleasant and well, efficiently run and feel-good experience. Because I know better. To wish for that is wishing for the impossible. But then mentally, what can we do about it? Report an error in the passage at 32:17 Highlight the passage at 32:17

32:51 It isn't just resignation. A kind of passive resignation to irritation or agitation, but it's a kind of welcoming acceptance. Report an error in the passage at 32:51 Highlight the passage at 32:51

33:09 Learning how to really learn and observe how we do create suffering in our minds around what's irritating us, irritating this condition in the present. Report an error in the passage at 33:09 Highlight the passage at 33:09

33:27 And that we can actually stop doing. We have a choice. Because this is just, if we don't pay attention, then we're just caught in the ideas of a particular society, like we have ideals about trying to create a society or a community where everything is just perfect, where there's harmony and everything is just... Report an error in the passage at 33:27 Highlight the passage at 33:27

33:57 We see that these are opportunities, this is our karma, that the irritations we do have, whether they're just physical, just because of allergies or just frustrating experiences with With the weather, or with the sicknesses that we get, or the problems of relationships, dealing with other people, people that we have to live with, work with, all of these things, then when we look at them in terms of mindfulness and wisdom, then we can actually begin to see it's something to develop wisdom. Report an error in the passage at 33:57 Highlight the passage at 33:57

34:57 It's an opportunity for developing wisdom, for understanding, and not for just complaining and trying to, you know, think that there's something wrong and it shouldn't be like this. Report an error in the passage at 34:57 Highlight the passage at 34:57

35:15 In a Buddhist monastery, I always considered that they were, you know, you're living with people who have very kind of high moral standards. So you have a... You have people who are trying to be very honest and very responsible for what they do and what they say. Report an error in the passage at 35:15 Highlight the passage at 35:15

35:42 And so like living in a community here or in Thailand, I would reflect on that because sometimes you find yourself going through a lot of suffering around the people you're living with because on a personal level you conflict with them many times. You irritate, frustrate. We get... Feeling of being kind of mistrusting or suspicious. You get paranoid. Report an error in the passage at 35:42 Highlight the passage at 35:42

36:12 I remember in Thailand the first year I suffered a lot from paranoia because I couldn't understand the language. And when you can't understand what somebody is saying, you go, what are they saying? And then they start looking at me and start laughing. I don't know why. And you feel... You feel really frightened or you feel angry. So these kind of conditions are to be reflected upon. Report an error in the passage at 36:12 Highlight the passage at 36:12

36:47 This Report an error in the passage at 36:47 Highlight the passage at 36:47

36:55 realm that we live in, we live in a moral community where everybody has a kind of sense of responsibility and you feel they're all trying as best they can Report an error in the passage at 36:55 Highlight the passage at 36:55

37:15 you, here, And people that come to Buddhist monasteries are usually on their best behavior unless they're kind of thugs from the pub or something. That doesn't happen very often. But most of the time people are trying to be at their best when they come to the monastery. They're trying to. And yet, even life on that level, Report an error in the passage at 37:15 Highlight the passage at 37:15

37:43 It still can be a lot of suffering because it's still irritating. We still get irritated, frustrated. And so these irritation frustrations are to be acknowledged and learned from. What I've been talking about is to use this sense of ... of irritation, frustration, as it's like this, it feels like this. And if I'm creating suffering around it, what am I attached to? Report an error in the passage at 37:43 Highlight the passage at 37:43

38:20 Usually I don't want it to be like this. I remember having very high ideas of what life should be or what somebody should be. I had an idea of what a bhikkhu should be or an enlightened master. Report an error in the passage at 38:20 Highlight the passage at 38:20

38:41 So when I went to live with Lungphacha in Thailand, you know, I could... Now he's dead, so he's like he's up in the stars now. He's not living, breathing human being like we are. So I remember people talk about him now in a kind of, he was like this, he was like that, you know, and he's... But it wasn't always just, you know... Report an error in the passage at 38:41 Highlight the passage at 38:41

39:09 A completely unirritating, totally ethereal being that he is now. Report an error in the passage at 39:09 Highlight the passage at 39:09

39:20 So then you're living with him and then you feel, well, he really mindfully wouldn't be doing that, or quite a few times having all kinds of doubts and having ideas of... If he were really wise, really enlightened, then he would be, he wouldn't do this, he would do that. So that, because I, and then I'd suffer because one part of me wanted him to be in Arahant. Report an error in the passage at 39:20 Highlight the passage at 39:20

39:52 I wanted to have a teacher who was perfectly enlightened. And then, and then when there was certain side of things that I found irritating, I think maybe he's not, then that was a very unpleasant state to doubt whether he was enlightened or not. Report an error in the passage at 39:52 Highlight the passage at 39:52

40:12 So then the suffering created. Also, I became quite addicted to Ajahn Chah, really attached. So then around the fourth year, fifth year that I was with him, a lot of Western people started showing up at the monastery. And so they started, and they would, and because by that time I'd learned to speak the language well enough to translate, and so I would, Luang Por Chau would ask me to kind of, kind of, I'd translate, and then I was supposed to kind of train them. Report an error in the passage at 40:12 Highlight the passage at 40:12

40:51 So then, then they would have all their views and opinions, and they would, it would come towards me, and especially when they started doubting, The wisdom, enlightenment of Ajahn Chah, I found myself getting really angry. Report an error in the passage at 40:51 Highlight the passage at 40:51

41:15 You know, thinking to myself, well, just get out of here if you don't like it. You don't have to be here. We don't want you. Then I think, you're suffering. Report an error in the passage at 41:15 Highlight the passage at 41:15

41:30 Why am I suffering? Because these irascible people are here and they're criticizing and they don't even know what they're talking about. They should just go away. Report an error in the passage at 41:30 Highlight the passage at 41:30

41:41 That's the cause of suffering, other people. And then eventually I'd get it down to what was really taking place was my irritation, the threat of somebody coming and criticizing what I loved and what I held up, what I wanted to be. I only wanted them to have praise and say, Oh, she's the greatest teacher in the world. Do you know of any other, do you know of a teacher that's greater? Report an error in the passage at 41:41 Highlight the passage at 41:41

42:12 No? Oh, he's the best. I feel comfortable. And they say, well, I know a greater teacher in India. So what's the attachment there? You could see and reflect one's own immaturity and attachments to tradition, to teacher, to monasticism. Report an error in the passage at 42:12 Highlight the passage at 42:12

42:42 Thailand or whatever, there was always this, the suffering was around the attachment to it. Report an error in the passage at 42:42 Highlight the passage at 42:42

42:53 So then this is how you can begin to really understand how to free yourself or to relieve the stress that we create in our minds, how to liberate the mind from stress. And this is not an easy thing to do, it's an ongoing challenge. Report an error in the passage at 42:53 Highlight the passage at 42:53

43:16 Because I've been at this, this is my 33rd year as a monk. I'm much better at it than I used to be. It's an ongoing challenge because it would be nice if you could just, you know, go through the first few years, get it all right, and then an easy ride for the rest of your life. That's what one hoped for. But in terms of... Report an error in the passage at 43:16 Highlight the passage at 43:16

43:44 We are the owners of our karma. Throughout one's life there are certain challenges that come to us. And they don't all come when you're starting meditation in the beginning. There's enough there to deal with. But as life goes on and you find yourself with various people in various places and with various responsibilities and And all of that in your own physical state and the things that happen both to you and to the people you're living with or the society you're living in. Report an error in the passage at 43:44 Highlight the passage at 43:44

44:25 I never expected to be living in England when I was a monk in Thailand. I never thought somebody said you're going to be a Buddhist monk living in Hertfordshire the rest of your life. I would have... Report an error in the passage at 44:25 Highlight the passage at 44:25

44:42 I thought that was really strange. One never knows, you know, where we'll be. But wherever we are, it's always here, and the time is now. And just to keep remembering that, to take the time, whatever state of mind you're in, or whether you're happy or unhappy. Report an error in the passage at 44:42 Highlight the passage at 44:42

45:08 Or successful, or failure, or everything's going well, or everything's falling apart. We can learn from that, from both extremes. Report an error in the passage at 45:08 Highlight the passage at 45:08

45:21 So happiness is something to learn from. Unhappiness, success, failure, from praise, from blame. And these are all part of our worldly experience that we have throughout our lives till we die. There's always a certain amount of this coming towards us, of praise, of blame, of success and failure, happiness and suffering, good fortune, bad fortune, good health, bad health, loss of loved ones. Report an error in the passage at 45:21 Highlight the passage at 45:21

46:02 We all have to experience the loss of loved ones in our lives. We all have to experience learning to coexist and live with people we don't. We all have Report an error in the passage at 46:02 Highlight the passage at 46:02

46:17 to learn how to just make a living or survive, just basic, dealing with the energies of the body, with its sexual nature, with its sensitivity, with all its strong instinctual drives, and that's a part of our human experience, all this. is very powerful and very strong and yet our relationship to it now is reflecting on it which is not seeing it in terms of judgment but of learning to allow what you are feeling into consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 46:17 Highlight the passage at 46:17

47:02 So consciousness is the door that we use. This Report an error in the passage at 47:02 Highlight the passage at 47:02

47:18 ability to be conscious that we can learn. Because this is the opportunity that we share as human beings, is learning from this experience, from our humanity, from our sensitivity, from planet Earth, from the way things are, from the karma that we have. Report an error in the passage at 47:18 Highlight the passage at 47:18

47:43 When I remember this, then I feel quite enthusiastic about life. Because I know that whatever happens, whether... You know, how good or bad it might be, fortunate or unfortunate, that it's my karma, I learn from it. I'm willing to learn from that. So, you know, here in the Feel Good Society of 1999 England, when we think of all those miserable people in Turkey right now, who's... Report an error in the passage at 47:43 Highlight the passage at 47:43

48:22 uh, who's, uh... The things that they most depended on, the places they lived in, collapsed on top of them. There's nothing... Earthquakes and these kind of things are, I think, the most frightening of experiences. Because one thing is that you think the Earth is a kind of stable... You know, you want it to be... You want to have a kind of solid foundation. Report an error in the passage at 48:22 Highlight the passage at 48:22

48:48 You know, other things, your mind moves, but the Earth, you can trust it. It'll be... When it quakes, it's really terrifying. And you have to spend all this money on a new apartment on the sixth floor to have a view. Report an error in the passage at 48:48 Highlight the passage at 48:48

49:06 And then it all collapses. That would be, with your whole family, you know, in it, this would be, you know, really horrific, you know, nightmare experience that we most don't want in our lives. And yet even this, even these tragedies, these kind of catastrophes we can learn from if they happen, like from any kind of illness, terminal illness or any illness, from loss of any sort, from tragedy, from separation, from divorce, from losing, Report an error in the passage at 49:06 Highlight the passage at 49:06

49:53 being redundant, losing one's job or Anything like this, these are the things we most dread happening to us. And yet in terms of dharma practice, these are opportunities that we, when they do happen to us, if we look at them in the right way, we find increasing amount of strength and confidence. Report an error in the passage at 49:53 Highlight the passage at 49:53

50:18 When I look back, it's through the world, kind of difficult times. Where monastic life isn't working, where everything is falling apart, where things aren't what you want them to be at all, and then either you sink into depression or blame, or you rise up, you reflect on it, you learn from it. And to know that you can do that means that then it... Report an error in the passage at 50:18 Highlight the passage at 50:18

50:54 Then you have a confidence and a kind of courage to deal with life no matter what life brings to us. We're not afraid anymore because we know that whatever happens, that we will learn from, we will determine to use for reflection and understanding of the way things are. Then the realization of dhamma, these goals, in Buddhist terminology, realizing the deathless, or enlightenment, or nibbāna, these kind of words. Report an error in the passage at 50:54 Highlight the passage at 50:54

51:48 These in terms of ideas, and trying to define them, trying to... Understand them through language is counterproductive because it is a realization. And this is where Buddhism is most enigmatic in the fact that it doesn't define those states. It's to be realized. So there is, in terms of Buddhist practice, the ultimate realization. Report an error in the passage at 51:48 Highlight the passage at 51:48

52:28 Which means that as we trust ourselves more and more to learn from the flow of life and see it in the right way, reflect upon it, and learn from it, then that realization of the deathless is also part of that, the profound insight and understanding that one can know for oneself through this kind of practice. Report an error in the passage at 52:28 Highlight the passage at 52:28

53:07 It's an interesting time in the end of the millennium century. And so it's, you know, in terms of monastic life, never lived so comfortably. And it's, you know, the kind of quality of the material world is quite good and pleasant and pleasing. Report an error in the passage at 53:07 Highlight the passage at 53:07

53:45 But this also, we recognize, is not what one is a monk for. This isn't why one lives this life, but for this realization. And also, see, like Amavati now, the temple is completed and the place is well set up. Report an error in the passage at 53:45 Highlight the passage at 53:45

54:13 So the aim of it is to be a... A place where people like yourselves can come and to hear the dharma or to just get away from the places that you're used to living in or working in, just to get away into the countryside, into a quiet place and sit still for a while and calm down and rather than trying to To just run away from life, you might leave turmoil at the office or problems at home, but then you find out when you're sitting in meditation in the temple that they come up while you're sitting there on the zafu. Report an error in the passage at 54:13 Highlight the passage at 54:13

54:59 You start thinking about your relationships or problems at the office. And so you can't really get away from them, but at least you can learn to reflect on them. See them in terms of what they really are, of what's really happening, rather than according to the way you're used to perceiving it and the interpretations you give these kind of emotional experiences and thoughts and views. Report an error in the passage at 54:59 Highlight the passage at 54:59

55:36 So I encourage you all to look to Amavati as a place that is really trying to encourage this kind of practice. It's really something now here in Britain that's quite one of the good things that's happening in the West is how more available the dharma is and opportunities for practice and people or teachers that have some experience behind them and many more now than there used to be. Report an error in the passage at 55:36 Highlight the passage at 55:36

56:15 And more opportunities. And that there is a growing interest and need for this way of training the mind. Or maybe it's not so much training as liberating the mind. Because you know, like training gives this idea that you've got to think in a different way. Or you've got to get rid of the old way and get a new way. But it's not really like that. Report an error in the passage at 56:15 Highlight the passage at 56:15

56:55 not a creation of your mind, it's not something that you get through making something new, but in letting go and stop struggling. Report an error in the passage at 56:55 Highlight the passage at 56:55

57:09 then begin to relax And open and watch and be patient. Learn how to be patient and even welcoming states of mind and physical pain and that as opportunity to learn rather than like the self really, what we call the self view or the personality is created out of ignorance. Report an error in the passage at 57:09 Highlight the passage at 57:09

57:45 So this is how I see it. Say when you're born, a baby has a physical body and it's conscious, and it has its own karma, so it has maybe particular inclinations or tendencies, genetic or whatever, however you want to see karma, then... Report an error in the passage at 57:45 Highlight the passage at 57:45

58:17 Then we get culturally conditioned to say our parents and our family and our ethnic background and we form identities with all that with like a class or group and then in a society that you whether you're in a kind of agrarian society or a materialistic society or class-structured or egalitarian, and we form various views about ourselves and the world we live in that come through these various perceptions that we get. Report an error in the passage at 58:17 Highlight the passage at 58:17

59:04 Like with children, you notice that up to a certain age, what we often really like in children is their innocence. Because they don't have a set personality. You get that, I think, you know, when you're about ten years old or something, you get more fixed in your self-view. But up till then, you're fairly unformed, you know, and you're open, you're innocent. Report an error in the passage at 59:04 Highlight the passage at 59:04

59:41 And that innocence is quite... You know, is what we, in some ways, reminds us of the time when we were quite innocent. Because then as you get older, if you make no effort towards understanding yourself, then you get, I think you get kind of petrified. You know, you get more in a rut. So, and your views, your opinions get kind of... Report an error in the passage at 59:41 Highlight the passage at 59:41

1:00:13 I'm paralyzed, and then you meet people who just say the same thing, or you know exactly what they're going to say every time they open their mouth. Or they just, when they get older and say they're no longer, say they're retired, or their families have grown up and left, they just get very... Report an error in the passage at 1:00:13 Highlight the passage at 1:00:13

1:00:42 caught in the same kind of thoughts over and over again. They don't know how to change, how to get out of that. that's a of suffering for people. like in awakening the mind, we lose that innocence, then we suffer the loss of it. then that suffering, what brings us... which compels us towards, say, something like meditation or spiritual practice of some sort, where then we're kind of opening again, where we're learning to open up to the purity of our true nature that we forgot about when we get kind of paralyzed in our personalities. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:42 Highlight the passage at 1:00:42

1:01:39 So I notice, like just in... In my mind, when I ordained it, I was 32, my mind was just so kind of obsessed with thoughts, various thoughts, and it just would go on endlessly, just one thought after another, and then they kind of go around in cycles, and you get so weary of yourself, and you kept trying to change the thoughts. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:39 Highlight the passage at 1:01:39

1:02:12 And trying to get, you know, but the basic pattern in the sense of the self was still very much even affecting how I thought. And then in meditation, I began to look at it in a different way, in this intuitive way, where you're, rather than just trying to think yourself out of thinking, Or just trying to create a nicer version of your personality, you're actually learning to see the problem is this blind attachment, this ignorance. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:12 Highlight the passage at 1:02:12

1:02:50 So in Buddhist terminology, then avicca or ignorance is what creates us, and not understanding things. And then in terms of wisdom, Then we awaken the mind, then there's wisdom. So then, that wisdom isn't personal. It's not like in my head or it's my wisdom. It's a wisdom that's available to us when we open the mind, when we're using an intuitive awareness rather than just habitual thought patterns. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:50 Highlight the passage at 1:02:50

1:03:35 Yes? Report an error in the passage at 1:03:35 Highlight the passage at 1:03:35

1:03:46 That might not be so bad. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:46 Highlight the passage at 1:03:46

1:03:54 Well, now the world's population is six billion, they say. But, I mean, you know, that's a logical thought. You know, you think if everybody was like that, but the thing is that that's never going to be the case. I mean, so... So it's, you know, we're getting, what we're doing, like with intuitive awareness, you're actually learning to use a transcendent intelligence that isn't associated with thought at all or concept. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:54 Highlight the passage at 1:03:54

1:04:37 So you, this is where language fails us. You can't, you have to let go of thinking because Thinking only can take us so far and then it doesn't, then it's no good. You're blocked off by it. You can't, you have to let go of it. And so listening to like some philosophers, you know, go on endlessly, kind of with more increasing refinements of intellectual thinking, you know, rational thought. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:37 Highlight the passage at 1:04:37

1:05:10 And it gets more and more refined, but it never... But it's when you actually let go, when you don't think, that you understand and where wisdom operates. It's beyond the thinking process. So, like reflective thinking is more like using the Four Noble Truths or the teachings we have, because they're wisdom teachings, but they're not to be kind of doctrines that we operate from. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:10 Highlight the passage at 1:05:10

1:05:44 But we take them and we reflect on them, you know, like sufferings. Well, what's suffering? So then instead of trying to find out about somebody else's suffering or definitions in dictionaries, we look at the reality of it in our own life. And so you're learning to kind of reflect and kind of introspect and to learn from what you're actually, the conditions you actually are. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:44 Highlight the passage at 1:05:44

1:06:13 are experiencing. And then you have this sense of a transcendent, which isn't like a separateness. It's not like you're up in the air and the world is down here and you're above it all, but it's more like embracing it. It's more like wholeness. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:13 Highlight the passage at 1:06:13

1:06:39 This is where words fail, because it's a realization. Yes? Report an error in the passage at 1:06:39 Highlight the passage at 1:06:39

1:07:02 Well, like memory, you know, arises according to condition. So when conditions are present, then you remember. You know, you have a memory of something. Past lives, I don't know. I've never had any past life memories. But I've had enough of this life to be able to understand memory. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:02 Highlight the passage at 1:07:02

1:07:31 You don't really... I'm really relieved I don't remember past lives because, yeah, that's quite interesting. You can get fascinated if you've had some interesting past lives. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:31 Highlight the passage at 1:07:31

1:07:45 But I fortunately can't remember any of them. Maybe they weren't interesting, that's why. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:45 Highlight the passage at 1:07:45

1:07:54 But this life's been interesting enough. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:54 Highlight the passage at 1:07:54

1:08:00 And then it's like what you're doing, like one memory. enough and they, uh, the, uh, Report an error in the passage at 1:08:00 Highlight the passage at 1:08:00

1:08:06 Like in reflecting on dhamma, you don't have to have all your memories, but any memory, you're contemplating it in terms of its changingness. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:06 Highlight the passage at 1:08:06

1:08:22 You can see that anything you remember, you can't sustain it, you can't hold it. A memory comes and goes. goes. Then certain memories trigger off certain emotions. So I've had a lot of these kind of deja vu experiences, you know, where suddenly you feel, I've been here before, someplace in this life you've never been, or you meet somebody and you think, I've met them somewhere, and you ask them, did we ever meet? Report an error in the passage at 1:08:22 Highlight the passage at 1:08:22

1:08:59 And they say, no, I've never seen you in my life. Kind of. Kind of like you've known them before. Like déjà vu is also when conditions arise, like the way light shines sometimes, you know, the way the sun sets, or will bring back memories of childhood, you know, or something else, you know, just, or... Report an error in the passage at 1:08:59 Highlight the passage at 1:08:59

1:09:33 The way somebody moves will remind me of somebody maybe 40 years ago. So the conditions arise, you know, certain conditions arise and then you get this memory. And so this is like dependent origination. What they call, they have this classy word in Pāli, itabhajita, which is... Report an error in the passage at 1:09:33 Highlight the passage at 1:09:33

1:09:59 which is It means that when this arises, when this comes and this arises, that's all dependent, interdependent. That attitude I find more useful in trying to trace past lives on, say, I was this in a previous life, because I can't relate to that in my own experience. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:59 Highlight the passage at 1:09:59

1:10:38 And people that do remember, some people can remember past lives. So, you know, in previous... And like, you know, they can actually take you to, you know, some of them have been, you know, they pursue these subjects. I remember seeing one in Australia years ago where some hypnotherapist hypnotized, I think, four Australian women. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:38 Highlight the passage at 1:10:38

1:11:12 And one had a previous memory of being a... In around 1860 or something like that, a doctor up in Edinburgh. And she'd never been out of Australia. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:12 Highlight the passage at 1:11:12

1:11:30 And she was a man. So she couldn't even remember her name. She couldn't remember what the medical school was like. So they brought her to Edinburgh. And they looked up the records of the medical school. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:30 Highlight the passage at 1:11:30

1:11:49 I think the main medical school there. And she actually could describe how it was, the kind of room arrangements and the architecture and all that of the school that existed. And they checked the register and the name that she remembered. This doctor was actually a registered doctor at that time. So, I mean, there's no way she could have acquired that knowledge. Report an error in the passage at 1:11:49 Highlight the passage at 1:11:49

1:12:20 So, I mean, one can believe or disbelieve any of this, because it's, you know, it's still a matter of speculation. But in terms of real dharma, you see, we're not, we don't need to know our previous lives. That's not necessary. So, because what you remember of this life is enough for enlightenment. Enlightenment. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:20 Highlight the passage at 1:12:20

1:12:52 And some people get so fascinated by their previous lives, they get obsessed with it. And that could be an obstruction, you know. You find your previous life so interesting, this life is no longer interesting at all. Report an error in the passage at 1:12:52 Highlight the passage at 1:12:52

1:13:09 Yes? Report an error in the passage at 1:13:09 Highlight the passage at 1:13:09

1:13:19 Dreams. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:19 Highlight the passage at 1:13:19

1:13:23 Could you ask me again? Report an error in the passage at 1:13:23 Highlight the passage at 1:13:23

1:13:35 Well, like from experience, there's like certain dreams that you have. man. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:35 Highlight the passage at 1:13:35

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:13:45 Like there's a lot, say, in your daily life that is very habitual, and so there's a lot that you aren't really conscious of, and certain tensions and things. We can easily just kind of get used to certain things. Report an error in the passage at 1:13:45 Highlight the passage at 1:13:45

1:14:08 And anger or feeling frustrated or angry or something we can just ignore and not really address during the day. And then like certain kind of dreams are kind of like releasing these kind of emotions when you're no longer controlling the mind. Like when you're asleep, you're no longer, the defense mechanisms aren't working so you're kind of... Report an error in the passage at 1:14:08 Highlight the passage at 1:14:08

1:14:34 Things come out in a dream. So that's why they can be kind of disjointed or make no sense, you know, in terms of you can be here and in China at the same moment or something like that. Report an error in the passage at 1:14:34 Highlight the passage at 1:14:34

1:14:51 Then there's another, like visions, which are usually, you know, we often see them as dreams, but they're more precise. They're usually very clear. but Report an error in the passage at 1:14:51 Highlight the passage at 1:14:51

1:15:06 ...convey usually something that happens, you know, kind of images that are either kind of verifications of realizations that you've had recently or they're pointing to future potential, future experience. But they're different than, say, an ordinary dream which... Like, I find just ordinary dreams difficult to remember. They usually, you usually don't remember them very much. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:06 Highlight the passage at 1:15:06

1:15:46 To remember them, you have to, as soon as you wake up, you have to write them down, otherwise you forget. I do, anyway. But it's like, then I can Arahant, then say, Arahant is mindful in a continuous way. So there's nothing in daily life that Arahant represses. So there wouldn't be any need to dream. Report an error in the passage at 1:15:46 Highlight the passage at 1:15:46

1:16:12 This is interesting how, like fear, like nightmares, things like that, are usually, you know, from repressing fear, you know, because fear is an emotion we run away from, like fear is tremendous power through convincing us that it's real, you know, so. Like when something frightens you, then you run. Then you kind of run away from it. When you confront fear more directly, then it loses power. Report an error in the passage at 1:16:12 Highlight the passage at 1:16:12

1:16:57 I remember experimenting with this, like living in places in Thailand where out in jungles and graveyards. and or charnel grounds Buddha recommended monks live in these places you know you're off alone and it's dark and Report an error in the passage at 1:16:57 Highlight the passage at 1:16:57

1:17:43 Profound insight into how I created these images, the possibility of very frightening things out there. I was creating those in my mind. And I began to see how as long as I did that, then darkness itself would be sitting in the dark. Report an error in the passage at 1:17:43 Highlight the passage at 1:17:43

1:18:11 I feel this fear because I can't see anything. I don't know what's in front of me. And then I contemplate, well, what is it that's actually seeing the dark? Report an error in the passage at 1:18:11 Highlight the passage at 1:18:11

1:18:21 Because I realize that the consciousness, there's consciousness as light. So you're finding a light. You're realizing the light, the enlightenment or the light, rather than seeking light as a visual, something that comes like from the sun or from... Report an error in the passage at 1:18:21 Highlight the passage at 1:18:21

1:18:44 ...switching on the electricity that you're beginning to, rather than just react to the experience of darkness, you're reflecting on what is it that sees the darkness? That isn't dark. And then your refuge is in that light rather than in the fear that you create through just exaggerating or creating problems about darkness. Report an error in the passage at 1:18:44 Highlight the passage at 1:18:44

1:19:12 It's all taking us back to the kind of center point, to the still point of awareness. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:12 Highlight the passage at 1:19:12

1:19:24 Somebody back there? Yes? Well, Report an error in the passage at 1:19:24 Highlight the passage at 1:19:24

1:19:41 precepts are not like love, compassion, and charity are virtues. They're not precepts. Like precepts are standards for action and speech, for refraining from doing. For taking responsibility for action and speech. Or for limiting action and speech. So you ask for these precepts in order to develop awareness and mindfulness. Report an error in the passage at 1:19:41 Highlight the passage at 1:19:41

1:20:17 So they're all about limitation. Refraining from killing or from taking things that are not given. But then the positive side, like refraining from not killing, is respect for life, for the right to live of all creatures. So it's, you know, but first it's put in the, in refraining from, so you actually, because we do have those kind of impulses, you know, where we, We want like killing mosquitoes, things like this, the flies. We can justify this even with, you know, by saying that these are pests and they, you know, better to get rid of them. Report an error in the passage at 1:20:17 Highlight the passage at 1:20:17

1:21:11 And so that we decide, you know, that they're pests and that we're not pests, they're pests. And so then we have the right to kill them. And then in the first precept, you're actually... Learning to respect life in general, you know, like of all sentient creatures like insects or reptiles, animals, other human beings. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:11 Highlight the passage at 1:21:11

1:21:38 And this is a way of training oneself because you still feel oftentimes so annoyed like with mosquitoes or flies, you want to kill them. But you've taken a precept not to, so then you... That is a guide for training yourself to watch that kind of impatience and desire to get rid of something that is annoying you. Report an error in the passage at 1:21:38 Highlight the passage at 1:21:38

1:22:04 Then as we develop, that's the side of morality training and renunciation. Then one of the meditation practices that... We develop, it's called mettā, or loving kindness. So it's like an unconditioned love for everything, all sentient beings. So it includes, it's not an exclusive kind of love. It's unconditioned and includes. Report an error in the passage at 1:22:04 Highlight the passage at 1:22:04

1:22:40 So in terms of Buddhist practice of loving kindness, then we spread loving kindness towards... towards ourselves first, not towards, say, learning to respect yourself, learning to have a kindly attitude towards this creature, this being, this body, this being here. And it's like developing self-respect rather than, sometimes it's easier for many of us to spread loving kindness Report an error in the passage at 1:22:40 Highlight the passage at 1:22:40

1:23:20 than to have it for oneself because so many people are very self-critical so that they very endlessly kind of nag and criticize themselves. So loving kindness then is a practice of being patient and uncritical. It doesn't mean we're dismissing what's wrong. It doesn't mean we don't notice, but... We're not developing an aversion towards it. We're learning to even be patient with that in ourselves which we don't like or things in the world around us that we don't like or don't want. Report an error in the passage at 1:23:20 Highlight the passage at 1:23:20

1:24:03 We're learning to be more patient, more accepting of the conditioned realm that we're experiencing. And so it goes from loving kindness into compassion, which is, as we understand the causes of suffering in our lives, then we have a compassion, a karuṇā, where, the Pāli word is karuṇā, where we, it's not just feeling sorry for others, it's not like kind of patronizing, feeling sorry for somebody else, but it's understanding the basic problem that we all share. Report an error in the passage at 1:24:03 Highlight the passage at 1:24:03

1:24:43 Because we're all the same, really. We all, you know, the basic, the attachment and the fear and desires is a human problem. And so it's not like I'm above it all and I feel sorry for those who really suffer from life, but it's really understanding the suffering of other creatures. So, like compassion, sometimes you have amazing kind of... Report an error in the passage at 1:24:43 Highlight the passage at 1:24:43

1:25:12 Insights into just like seeing the animal world. I remember watching somebody catch a fish one day and just seeing the terror of the fish as the man was pulling in this fish. The fish was fighting against the line and trying to escape. And you could just see this palpable terror. Report an error in the passage at 1:25:12 Highlight the passage at 1:25:12

1:25:43 And then I suddenly realized that terror is the same for all of us. It's not like... I mean, I've had that feeling. I could, you know, it's not like the terror that I have is somehow significant and the terror of the fish isn't. It's the same thing. So then you feel a sense of karuṇā, you know, and you're kind of determined not to... Report an error in the passage at 1:25:43 Highlight the passage at 1:25:43

1:26:10 Do things that intentionally cause such horrific emotions in any creature whatsoever. You really feel compassion for the suffering. And then the third one is muditā or joyousness. So at the beauty and goodness of the world around us and the beauty and goodness of others. So it's... As we purify the mind and we're more free from our attachments, then we begin to experience a kind of joyfulness, a spontaneous joyfulness that comes through, just the experience of beauty without any kind of personal interest in owning it or making it mine. Report an error in the passage at 1:26:10 Highlight the passage at 1:26:10

1:27:03 mind, we can really Delight or rejoice in the goodness and beauty of other people rather than feel intimidated or jealous of them. It's a getting beyond jealousy and envy into that state of joyousness, rejoicing in the beauty of nature. And then equanimity or upekha is a fourth one. And that is equanimity. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:03 Highlight the passage at 1:27:03

1:27:35 The state where the mind is, is balanced and where there is a real sense of oneness and peacefulness that is natural to conscious experience when we're through non-attachment. So these are called Brahmavihāras. Report an error in the passage at 1:27:35 Highlight the passage at 1:27:35

1:28:00 And they mean like one of the translations is pure abodes, because they are quite spontaneous from the purity of the mind. You don't kind of cultivate them on a personal level so much. You know, I'm going to cultivate compassion for the suffering of others. It's more through understanding suffering, your own suffering, that the compassion arises quite spontaneously. Report an error in the passage at 1:28:00 Highlight the passage at 1:28:00

1:28:29 It's not like something you create, but it's the natural response that human beings have when they see suffering in others. Do Report an error in the passage at 1:28:29 Highlight the passage at 1:28:29

1:28:53 you have a question? Report an error in the passage at 1:28:53 Highlight the passage at 1:28:53

1:29:07 You Report an error in the passage at 1:29:07 Highlight the passage at 1:29:07

· · · silence, 1 minute

1:29:41 coax Report an error in the passage at 1:29:41 Highlight the passage at 1:29:41

1:29:47 them away. These are the dilemmas this precept brings. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:47 Highlight the passage at 1:29:47

1:29:58 In the book, Teachings of a Buddhist Monk, published, a book of my teachings published by the Buddhist Publication in Devon, and Jack Kornfield wrote a preface to that book, and Jack Kornfield's an American Buddhist, quite well known in the States, and he met me years ago when I was, I think I was on my second year. Report an error in the passage at 1:29:58 Highlight the passage at 1:29:58

1:30:33 And I was living up in this kind of mountainous area. And I'd actually forgotten about this, but I lived in a hut that had a wasp's nest. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:33 Highlight the passage at 1:30:33

1:30:50 And I'd learned how to live with all these wasps. So when Jack Kornfield came to see me, I was covered in wasps. Report an error in the passage at 1:30:50 Highlight the passage at 1:30:50

1:31:12 Try that one. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:12 Highlight the passage at 1:31:12

1:31:34 That's an interesting one. In tropical countries, Thailand is like an incubator. It's such a warm place that everything likes to grow in it and reproduce, so you've got an enormous amount of insect life. And then in the monastery, every year there'd be a war between the red and black ants. And so there's a kind of balance to nature that should happen, and you can actually see it going on in the monastery. Report an error in the passage at 1:31:34 Highlight the passage at 1:31:34

1:32:08 There'd be the black ants and the red ants, and then they'd have these wars, and then you'd see corpses of ants all over the monastery. And then one year, the red ants didn't come, and so there was no war. And the black ants, there was nothing to check them, so they just increased, so they were everywhere. They were in the rafters of the huts. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:08 Highlight the passage at 1:32:08

1:32:38 They were, uh, ...crawling all over everything, and you're not supposed to, you know, you're supposed to respect life, so you try to sweep them away, and do various things, but it's just, it got so bad that monks were leaving the monastery and wouldn't live there anymore. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:38 Highlight the passage at 1:32:38

1:32:58 And it was just really a miserable scene, because every, all the time you just... I had these ants crawling over you and in your robes and no way to check it. And then the military Thai army came and fumigated. Report an error in the passage at 1:32:58 Highlight the passage at 1:32:58

1:33:27 And so then there's moral dilemma. How could Ajahn, you know, we were all grateful actually. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:27 Highlight the passage at 1:33:27

1:33:42 At least I was. And so I went to see Ajahn Chah. Well, how do you justify this? And he smiled and he says, well, he says, I'll take the, I'm taking the responsibility. And he says, but if you don't want them to spray your kuti, you go and tell them and they won't. Report an error in the passage at 1:33:42 Highlight the passage at 1:33:42

1:34:13 I didn't, I didn't. Report an error in the passage at 1:34:13 Highlight the passage at 1:34:13

1:34:21 We've also got to have a sense of humor. It's all a bit ridiculous. Report an error in the passage at 1:34:21 Highlight the passage at 1:34:21