What is It: It_s Like This

· · · silence, 1 minute

0:44 This is the last of Report an error in the passage at 0:44 Highlight the passage at 0:44

0:59 consciousness. These are my reflections on my own experience. This moment consciousness here and now is operating. Report an error in the passage at 0:59 Highlight the passage at 0:59

1:15 Whether I realize what consciousness is or not still operates. It doesn't depend on me being aware at all. It's quite functional. It's not me. me. Report an error in the passage at 1:15 Highlight the passage at 1:15

1:35 Realizing or knowing anything about it, I can be completely deluded and still conscious. So Report an error in the passage at 1:35 Highlight the passage at 1:35

1:49 then the putto is the Buddha. Well, this putto is awakening to what the consciousness here and now, like this. So, an attention, awakened attention. Otherwise, if we don't do that, then we get conditioned by the, through the ignorance. Report an error in the passage at 1:49 Highlight the passage at 1:49

2:16 We identify, we see ourselves as a human body, as a personality, as through the various institutions and conventions, cultural conditions. Report an error in the passage at 2:16 Highlight the passage at 2:16

2:35 So you can live your whole life just being a good citizen, a moral Buddhist, a monk or a nun. Report an error in the passage at 2:35 Highlight the passage at 2:35

2:47 Performing all the, doing the right things and avoid doing the wrong ones and still not be awake to the reality of this moment. So Report an error in the passage at 2:47 Highlight the passage at 2:47

3:06 that's like we become institutionalized through not awakening to the reality of this present moment. So Report an error in the passage at 3:06 Highlight the passage at 3:06

3:28 even if you're against conventions, against institutions, That's still another position one takes. One can be a party liner or somebody against the establishment. But that's a matter of just preference of one condition over another. But awakenedness, wake up, Bhutan Srinankacami then is, begin to notice the way it is. Report an error in the passage at 3:28 Highlight the passage at 3:28

4:13 So in the first three fetters, say, of the ten fetters, the sannyojana, sakya-ditti-sīla-bhata-bhara-masa-vichiticha, it deals with this basic delusion of Report an error in the passage at 4:13 Highlight the passage at 4:13

4:35 just being institutionalized, starting from views and opinions. Like if I start from the assumption, from the... I am Ajahn Sumedho. This is my modus operandi. This is where I'm coming from, from being me, Ajahn Sumedho. Report an error in the passage at 4:35 Highlight the passage at 4:35

5:02 Then everything is taken in through that perception of this body is mine, the body is Ajahn Sumedho, and I have a history, I have a past, I have... Report an error in the passage at 5:02 Highlight the passage at 5:02

5:21 I'm a personality and I'm a Buddhist monk. I'm an American by birth. I'm not like this. The whole conventional scenario arises from this assumption. But getting behind that, instead of taking I am Ajahn Sumedho as a basis for interpreting experience and... Getting behind, beyond that limitation, just to pay attention, even that which is aware of the assumption, I, Ajahn Sumedho. Report an error in the passage at 5:21 Highlight the passage at 5:21

6:05 And to be aware of, before you start operating from your assumptions, is the Bhutto, or the Buddha, the awakened, that which is awake. Report an error in the passage at 6:05 Highlight the passage at 6:05

6:28 To say, I, Ajahn Sumedho, assumption we make on a conventional level, you know, in terms of Conventional reality, that's fair enough. It works within the society and so forth in dealing with the conventional world. Report an error in the passage at 6:28 Highlight the passage at 6:28

6:53 But as reality, it's not true. It's not real. It's just a convention. Report an error in the passage at 6:53 Highlight the passage at 6:53

7:03 So the reality is through this awakening, through paying attention, listening, Report an error in the passage at 7:03 Highlight the passage at 7:03

7:18 or anything, any way that... It gives you this sense of alertness, attentiveness, just a simple attentive attitude is Report an error in the passage at 7:18 Highlight the passage at 7:18

7:38 where you're starting from here and now rather than from the assumption I am this person. So Report an error in the passage at 7:38 Highlight the passage at 7:38

7:51 you can explore that and just get so you really trust in just awakened attention rather than... In the views about yourself as somebody who's got to practice, get your samādhi, get the jhānas, get rid of the defilements, and believe in all the conventional attitudes and assumptions you have about yourself as a person, and the way you feel about the conventions we're using, like Theravāda Buddhism, and all these are conventions. Report an error in the passage at 7:51 Highlight the passage at 7:51

8:29 That we are to be seen in terms of that. They're expedient means. They're not ultimately real or true. Report an error in the passage at 8:29 Highlight the passage at 8:29

8:53 The Sīla Bhattabharmata is where you think by ordaining as a monk or a nun and keeping all the rules and being very moral. And doing all the right things that then you will be purified and attain enlightenment in the future. And this is coming from the I am Ajahn Sumedho position. Report an error in the passage at 8:53 Highlight the passage at 8:53

9:26 It's like bathing in the Ganges River in order to purify yourself or how many baths should you take a day in order to purify yourself or you know trying to To do ritual ceremonies in order to, with this idea of like the obeying all the rules, doing all the right things will make you pure. Report an error in the passage at 9:26 Highlight the passage at 9:26

9:53 And still, you're still coming from I am this person who's impure and if I perform these actions, these good actions, these moral behavior and so forth, I will become pure. Report an error in the passage at 9:53 Highlight the passage at 9:53

10:11 Well, you're operating within the conventional realities only. And so it's better on terms of, you know, good, better, best, bad, worse, worst. It's better than, say, operating from the idea I'm going to be a criminal and all that. But it's still not liberation, is it? It's still a fetter. Report an error in the passage at 10:11 Highlight the passage at 10:11

10:43 Not that the convention is about, it's the attachment, and unawakenedness, the blind, unquestioning alignment with conventional reality that prevents enlightenment or seeing clearly. So Report an error in the passage at 10:43 Highlight the passage at 10:43

11:12 like Sakyaditi, the personality view, Ajahn Sumedho, to me that's Sakyaditi, I mean that's a convention, fair enough, that is... Workable, but in terms of attachment to that as my basis for interpreting experience, Report an error in the passage at 11:12 Highlight the passage at 11:12

11:35 my modus operandi, then that is sakya-yaditi. Report an error in the passage at 11:35 Highlight the passage at 11:35

11:47 So if I practice meditation in order to make myself enlightened with sakya-yaditi, what do you end up with? If you start practicing, ordaining as a monk or nun, practicing meditation. In order to become an enlightened person, I Report an error in the passage at 11:47 Highlight the passage at 11:47

12:10 mean, you're trapped in that cycle, isn't it? The fetter is never, you're never released from that fetter because you've not awakened to it. Report an error in the passage at 12:10 Highlight the passage at 12:10

12:22 You're operating from assumptions, from conditioning, through the sense of yourself, your conventional personality as what you really are. Report an error in the passage at 12:22 Highlight the passage at 12:22

12:41 So to get beyond personality, it's not difficult, is it? Easy. All you have to do is pay attention. In attentiveness, there's no person. Report an error in the passage at 12:41 Highlight the passage at 12:41

13:01 And it's where this non-plussing of the thinking mind is only all the personal scenarios, the proliferations about yourself, criticisms and fears and desires on the personal level. You notice that they stop the minute you start paying attention to it. Report an error in the passage at 13:01 Highlight the passage at 13:01

13:28 There's no core, no heart to personality. Report an error in the passage at 13:28 Highlight the passage at 13:28

13:36 It's just like mist or fog. Report an error in the passage at 13:36 Highlight the passage at 13:36

13:44 You can feel it and you feel misty and mystified or fogged up. there's no, you know, it's the... Report an error in the passage at 13:44 Highlight the passage at 13:44

13:54 You can't find anything in the fog that you can get hold of and say, this is what I am. My true self is this. Report an error in the passage at 13:54 Highlight the passage at 13:54

14:19 There can be a lot of that in a religious, align oneself with religious convention, because we put a lot of faith in the religious convention. Report an error in the passage at 14:19 Highlight the passage at 14:19

14:36 I've become a Buddhist, and then we... Or I've become a Christian. Or we think that by becoming something, some conventional thing that we particularly feel attracted to or have faith in. And Report an error in the passage at 14:36 Highlight the passage at 14:36

14:58 that's why in the religious world, why there's so much disappointment, disillusionment, because guru worship or faith in religious groups or religious institutions, In priests and monks, Report an error in the passage at 14:58 Highlight the passage at 14:58

15:20 nuns, all that kind of thing can be such a disappointment because we're expecting a kind of liberation or something from a convention. Report an error in the passage at 15:20 Highlight the passage at 15:20

15:40 So we're not awake. We're just caught in the kind of... or a convention Report an error in the passage at 15:40 Highlight the passage at 15:40

15:46 Clinging attachments and hopes and demands, projections that we make onto the conventional world out of ignorance. Report an error in the passage at 15:46 Highlight the passage at 15:46

16:05 So in terms of Buddhist direct teaching, it's a wake-up teaching. Butoh, wake up. It's Report an error in the passage at 16:05 Highlight the passage at 16:05

16:19 not becoming a Buddhist. Report an error in the passage at 16:19 Highlight the passage at 16:19

16:23 We can put on robes and do all the Buddhist things and become Buddhists, but still not wake up. Report an error in the passage at 16:23 Highlight the passage at 16:23

· · · silence, 1 minute

17:11 So experiment and explore that before you start thinking what is it. These kind of self-inquiry ways of who am I or what was my original face before I was born. The kind of koans, conundrums that we can create. So not to get answers but to begin to appreciate. A natural state of awakened attention, listening, where you don't have to know anything. You're not looking for answers or solutions. Report an error in the passage at 17:11 Highlight the passage at 17:11

17:53 You're beginning to relax into a natural state of awareness. Report an error in the passage at 17:53 Highlight the passage at 17:53

18:02 That's why, well, who is it that knows? Who is it that is aware? People are always asking that question. Who is it that is aware? Report an error in the passage at 18:02 Highlight the passage at 18:02

18:18 It's like, you know, you want to know, we want to have a name. But when you begin to realize awareness and consciousness before name starts operating, and Report an error in the passage at 18:18 Highlight the passage at 18:18

18:42 it doesn't seem like much in terms of your value judgments with your conditioned way of thinking, it doesn't have a quality of kind of, wow, you know, fantastic, utterly. utterly, you know, absolutely fantastic is so simple that so ordinary. Report an error in the passage at 18:42 Highlight the passage at 18:42

19:05 we don't it's worth anything. It's worthless. Report an error in the passage at 19:05 Highlight the passage at 19:05

19:44 You know, any views you have about it, just notice that it is what it is, like this. Report an error in the passage at 19:44 Highlight the passage at 19:44

20:00 And then, you know, you want to give it a name or give it, make it, you know, have some kind of definition or description that will make it, you know, something important for you. We call it cosmic sound, primal sound, the voice of God. God, Krishna's flute. Copyright © 2020 Mooji Media Ltd. Report an error in the passage at 20:00 Highlight the passage at 20:00

20:42 All Rights Reserved. even those kind of needs. Report an error in the passage at 20:42 Highlight the passage at 20:42

21:08 it's not like, some people think of it as an attainment. Those that can hear it and those that can't. See how either self is a sakaditi again, isn't it? This sense of I've got it and somebody else hasn't or I haven't. So be this awareness itself, the listener, the witness. Report an error in the passage at 21:08 Highlight the passage at 21:08

21:45 And in that pause, those gaps, that space around your thoughts, before you start thinking I am this person. Report an error in the passage at 21:45 Highlight the passage at 21:45

21:58 Contemplate that. Recognize it. There's awareness, isn't it? Conscious. There's awareness, consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 21:58 Highlight the passage at 21:58

22:11 Sound of silence. And Report an error in the passage at 22:11 Highlight the passage at 22:11

22:23 then the self can come up. If I forget all that, if I'm staying, if I cultivate and develop this, the sense of my personality loses its power. Report an error in the passage at 22:23 Highlight the passage at 22:23

22:41 My conditioned personality, my sakya ditti, doesn't have much, isn't very powerful anymore because I no longer believe in it. I know what it is and, you know, I'm not trying to get rid of it. I'm not, you know, it's not like something to annihilate, but the more you transcend it, knowing it for what it is, then it's... Report an error in the passage at 22:41 Highlight the passage at 22:41

23:15 Deluding abilities diminish. Report an error in the passage at 23:15 Highlight the passage at 23:15

23:20 So I can get into, you know, I can hear my emotional state going on about feeling annoyed about this or feeling attached to something or feeling lonely or whatever. Report an error in the passage at 23:20 Highlight the passage at 23:20

23:38 But then it doesn't have the kind of ability to take me over because I know I don't believe in it anymore. Anything that it says is not. I don't value, I don't trust. Report an error in the passage at 23:38 Highlight the passage at 23:38

24:12 Then the conventional world, I find like being a Buddhist monk, this convention that I've chosen, Report an error in the passage at 24:12 Highlight the passage at 24:12

24:25 it's just a vehicle, it's a tool for awareness. To Report an error in the passage at 24:25 Highlight the passage at 24:25

24:36 me it's like a form, a beautiful, like an art. It's a beautiful Report an error in the passage at 24:36 Highlight the passage at 24:36

24:50 form to live in, to be. To use on the conventional world. You can see here in England, which is not a Buddhist country, it works quite well. Amaravati and Siddharth, these monasteries are quite highly regarded and quite beautiful in their own right as institutions, as conventions. Report an error in the passage at 24:50 Highlight the passage at 24:50

25:24 But then to put all your faith in the convention of being a Buddhist monk or nun, It won't work because conventional reality is basically unsatisfactory. As a beautiful form, it's still not enough. Being attached to beauty is not liberation. Because then you get very possessive and identified and very aggressive towards anything that threatens the beautiful form. Report an error in the passage at 25:24 Highlight the passage at 25:24

26:04 form that attached to. If that's all you're doing, then you get into very defensive, very even aggressive positions that anything might attack or criticize or harm the beautiful convention. Report an error in the passage at 26:04 Highlight the passage at 26:04

26:32 Or you can look at the things you don't like about this convention. Report an error in the passage at 26:32 Highlight the passage at 26:32

26:39 You can see that... Some people don't use the convention very well. It makes you very narrow-minded or puritanical or very frightened. Report an error in the passage at 26:39 Highlight the passage at 26:39

26:54 You become very righteous and arrogant. We are the best. Our convention is the best. And all the other forms of Buddhism are not as good as ours. Or we can put down all the other religions. religions, you know, we can... Report an error in the passage at 26:54 Highlight the passage at 26:54

27:17 By attaching to ours, people can become very narrow-minded, prejudiced, foolish. And so then you can say, see, that's what Buddhists are. All religions are a bunch of rubbish. There's a Krishnamurti view where they're all deluded, don't believe in them. That's true of just throwing all the conventions out the window. Report an error in the passage at 27:17 Highlight the passage at 27:17

27:53 Because they're not being used very well. But recognize that the opportunity here is how to use this convention for awaken... And Report an error in the passage at 27:53 Highlight the passage at 27:53

28:15 then it's up to you, isn't it? You can't say, I want you to wake up so that my conventional life as a monk, I'll be inspired and feel safe all the time because you are awake. Report an error in the passage at 28:15 Highlight the passage at 28:15

28:29 It's like passing the buck. I want you to... Be perfect examples and good representatives and role models in this convention so that I will not feel insecure and doubting about my life as a Buddhist monk. Report an error in the passage at 28:29 Highlight the passage at 28:29

28:57 Or it doesn't matter whether anybody else uses the convention well or any of you wake up. If you don't want to wake up, don't. But it doesn't... So if Report an error in the passage at 28:57 Highlight the passage at 28:57

29:31 the convention does... Report an error in the passage at 29:31 Highlight the passage at 29:31

29:38 foolishly then that's not know is that does that make it a foolish convention Report an error in the passage at 29:38 Highlight the passage at 29:38

29:52 if the convention does... I mean, proclaim itself as ultimate reality, then that is what we might call a cult, isn't it? Where you, you know, you're kind of attaching to a convention as God or ultimate truth or something like that. Report an error in the passage at 29:52 Highlight the passage at 29:52

30:12 And then that's what I would call in the English word, English use of the word cult, where you get these kind of deluded... ... cultish practices going on, because people are attached to the convention as the ultimate reality. So Report an error in the passage at 30:12 Highlight the passage at 30:12

30:54 when you've let go of sakhi-ditti, sīla-bhata-bharmata, and Report an error in the passage at 30:54 Highlight the passage at 30:54

31:02 you're not... then you're with tikita, or doubt, skepticism, wanting to find out all the answers, wanting verification, wanting proof. And always just, you know, trying to think and rationalize it and define everything, then that leaves you with whichikicha as a result. Report an error in the passage at 31:02 Highlight the passage at 31:02

31:27 The more you think, the more you doubt, Report an error in the passage at 31:27 Highlight the passage at 31:27

31:37 because that thinking is unsatisfactory. I mean, it's a tool. It's something to use, not something to attach to. So if you attach to ideas and thoughts, and then you end up with doubt, because you're grasping something that is, you know, it's a symbol, it's not the reality. Report an error in the passage at 31:37 Highlight the passage at 31:37

32:09 So the road sign pointing to, that says London on it, pointing to the way to London, is not London, is it? It's not, it's pointing the way. It says go this way, arrows going over there. Report an error in the passage at 32:09 Highlight the passage at 32:09

32:28 Where, say, filipa to bar martha is where we we attach to the thing that says london this must be london Report an error in the passage at 32:28 Highlight the passage at 32:28

32:38 you get stuck on the If Report an error in the passage at 32:38 Highlight the passage at 32:38

32:48 we want to... Report an error in the passage at 32:48 Highlight the passage at 32:48

32:51 consciousness, you know, you the conditioned mind, out of ignorance, we attach to perceptions as reality. So if we to... We get conditioned to perceive things in certain ways. So when we look at something in a different way, when things challenge our perceptions of something, we can feel very ill at ease. Report an error in the passage at 32:51 Highlight the passage at 32:51

33:22 We can feel very angry when something challenges what we consider truth and reality and what's it right. some, you know, when... That's why we find aliens or foreigners or anything that is unpredictable. Report an error in the passage at 33:22 Highlight the passage at 33:22

33:47 The more conservative you are, then anything that doesn't fit into the narrow confines of those perceptions is considered alien or be suspicious of it, don't trust it. Report an error in the passage at 33:47 Highlight the passage at 33:47

34:10 So you can see a person that's personality conditioned out of ignorance is It's very limited in their experience of life because they can only experience through particular sannyasankaras. They're selective and anything that doesn't operate within that limit is rejected or denied. Report an error in the passage at 34:10 Highlight the passage at 34:10

34:42 That's why I like modern art. If you're brought up on classical art, then you... Report an error in the passage at 34:42 Highlight the passage at 34:42

34:44 [music]

34:54 You can feel very frustrated. You want to know what things are. You can see people going to a modern art exhibition and they're looking at something. What is it? And you'd like a title maybe saying Sunrise Over Calcutta. Report an error in the passage at 34:54 Highlight the passage at 34:54

35:20 And then you can kind of squint your eyes and maybe try to See it through a perception that's given to you. Report an error in the passage at 35:20 Highlight the passage at 35:20

35:34 But if it's an actual, you know, kind of fairly symbolic representation of Calcutta in the sunrise, yeah, that's sunrise. I know that. That's very nicely done. Beautiful colors. But just notice the feeling of not knowing, of being confused, uncertain. Report an error in the passage at 35:34 Highlight the passage at 35:34

35:59 What is it? One can feel quite angry. Report an error in the passage at 35:59 Highlight the passage at 35:59

36:05 about modern art because it looks like they're trying to play a joke on you sometimes. Maybe they are. Like the emperor's new clothes or something. They're trying to make you say something is art when it's not. And you can feel very angry or resistant. Report an error in the passage at 36:05 Highlight the passage at 36:05

36:31 But what you can know is it's like this. Wanting to know and feeling very confused. And very upset because of the confusion and uncertainty is like this. Report an error in the passage at 36:31 Highlight the passage at 36:31

36:53 You can observe that that's the way it is. Right now I feel angry and upset and confused is like this. Report an error in the passage at 36:53 Highlight the passage at 36:53

37:07 So then you're awakening, isn't it? When you're willing to do that, that's like you suddenly awaken to something that you... You've never awakened to it before. You merely would get caught into it. You'd be overwhelmed by those emotions and you'd deal with them in a certain way. Report an error in the passage at 37:07 Highlight the passage at 37:07

37:30 Maybe just distract yourself from it because it's too unbearable for you or you just get consumed by it, lose your faith, lose your inspiration. Report an error in the passage at 37:30 Highlight the passage at 37:30

37:56 So this is like learning to recognize Realize just the beforethought, just that hesitation, that that uncertainty, that hesitation, where there's poise, attention. Report an error in the passage at 37:56 Highlight the passage at 37:56

· · · silence, 1 minute

39:43 The fetters are the obstructions to stream entry, as they say, in the four stages. Sotāpanna sakata kamyana kamyara. Report an error in the passage at 39:43 Highlight the passage at 39:43

40:05 So just thinking about these three fetters isn't the way to stream entry, but reflecting on them. What are these, in terms of your own experience, what is Sakya, Diti, Silabhadra, Baramasa, Vichy, Kicha? And so by, the more you reflect on that, that very reflectiveness is the stream. Report an error in the passage at 40:05 Highlight the passage at 40:05

40:35 You know, if you begin to Relax into this state of pure reflective attention, where Report an error in the passage at 40:35 Highlight the passage at 40:35

40:48 then you get in perspective on the self-view, takyaditti, who you think you are, and all the attitudes, habits around yourself as a person, or the way you're attached to the conventional world. You begin to see how you're holding on to something. Or projecting onto the conventional world something more than is there. Or expecting something from it. Report an error in the passage at 40:48 Highlight the passage at 40:48

41:22 Or you're averse to it. Or you resist it. Report an error in the passage at 41:22 Highlight the passage at 41:22

41:29 We have a lot of doubt about these conventions. You really have to be a monk or a nun. Maybe it just gets in the way. Maybe you're just wasting your time dedicating your life to being a Buddhist. Samana. You know, you can get enlightened without having to do all this. And you can have, you have to give up relationships, intimacy and that with others in order to become this. Report an error in the passage at 41:29 Highlight the passage at 41:29

42:03 So we wind ourselves up with doubt about the convention. Report an error in the passage at 42:03 Highlight the passage at 42:03

42:12 So Report an error in the passage at 42:12 Highlight the passage at 42:12

42:21 it's, you know, Endless trying to figure out, do you really, you don't have to do it this way, is there an easier way, is there a better way, or is this way just going to lead you to being attached, to being an institutionalized person, you know, a kind of monk Report an error in the passage at 42:21 Highlight the passage at 42:21

42:45 that's just bound by the rules, frightened of living, frightened of relationships, frightened of intimacy, frightened of reality, because You're trying so hard to keep the rules and be pure all the time. And you can see examples of that. Then you get caught in doubt about the validity of monasticism. Report an error in the passage at 42:45 Highlight the passage at 42:45

43:12 But what you can know is that doubt, isn't it? And Report an error in the passage at 43:12 Highlight the passage at 43:12

43:23 so what you can trust is the awareness rather than trying to figure out if there's a better way to do it. Monasticism is counterproductive, or if it's the only way, or if you can have a relationship and all that and still be enlightened and try to figure it out on that level, don't bother doing that. Report an error in the passage at 43:23 Highlight the passage at 43:23

43:51 Get to the real source of it. Just seeing that this awareness is what we can really trust. And this you have to trust yourself to be able to do it. Report an error in the passage at 43:51 Highlight the passage at 43:51

44:12 Because when you think about it, you probably think you can't do it very well. You're not ready. You need to do something else first. It's called in the Tilap, the Sakyaditi again. So what I'm trying to do is just a sense of wake up, this kind of imperative sense, wake up, Report an error in the passage at 44:12 Highlight the passage at 44:12

44:38 listen. Report an error in the passage at 44:38 Highlight the passage at 44:38

· · · silence, 1 minute

45:09 And that very awakeness is the stream. This is the dhamma. You can... As you begin to appreciate that, Report an error in the passage at 45:09 Highlight the passage at 45:09

45:26 rather than try to become a stream enterer or feel that you, you know, when you think about whether you are or not, you can get caught in views and opinions and doubts that come from that. It's not a matter of trying to decide whether you are or not, but in recognizing the way it is. What could be the stream of reality right now? And it certainly couldn't be in the conventional realm or the sense of yourself as a personality. Report an error in the passage at 45:26 Highlight the passage at 45:26

46:09 Or through thinking about it, trying to figure it all out. Report an error in the passage at 46:09 Highlight the passage at 46:09

46:16 It's intuitive. It's an intuitive sense. Awakened, attention, intuitive, embracing, welcoming. So Report an error in the passage at 46:16 Highlight the passage at 46:16

· · · silence, 2 minutes

48:45 this is like these reflections in the morning just to kind of keep reminding you, encouraging, and you forget it and get caught up in all, but this is where it doesn't matter really. You're not saying you should remember this all the time and hold to it through sick or thin and make it into a cult celeb of monastic life. Report an error in the passage at 48:45 Highlight the passage at 48:45

49:17 But it's more like learning to relax and even getting caught up, but then awakening. And there's always a point where you suddenly catch yourself. You're kind of overwhelmed with your emotional feelings or problems with the community or personal doubts and things like this. And you get whirled away. And then there's trust in that moment where you just suddenly realize it. Report an error in the passage at 49:17 Highlight the passage at 49:17

49:50 It's that sense of ah. Report an error in the passage at 49:50 Highlight the passage at 49:50

49:56 And then trust that. That's an awakened moment. You suddenly just realize you're just winding yourself up, caught in the old habits again. Report an error in the passage at 49:56 Highlight the passage at 49:56

50:13 And the more you trust that, then you'll find you're developing the path. Even when you say, oh, I've... I had the real insight into the path and then I lost it and I'm nowhere now. I'm just, you know, I feel worse than ever. I never felt so horrible in my life. And then suddenly you're aware of this. You suddenly realize the sakya-diti, the sense of I'm a mess, I'm a failure, like this. Report an error in the passage at 50:13 Highlight the passage at 50:13

50:56 And that awareness is not sakya-diti. Not a self, not the ego. You Report an error in the passage at 50:56 Highlight the passage at 50:56

51:19 can hear the wounded child wanting something, feeling unloved or wanting this or demanding, denying. Some Report an error in the passage at 51:19 Highlight the passage at 51:19

51:47 of our emotions are childish. childish, you know, because you get... Report an error in the passage at 51:47 Highlight the passage at 51:47

51:55 When you get wise, you can still have childish reactions to things. When Report an error in the passage at 51:55 Highlight the passage at 51:55

52:03 the conditions are there, then this emotion arises. But seeing it in terms of, rather in terms of personal, taking it personally, one feels quite embarrassed and kind of despairing when Report an error in the passage at 52:03 Highlight the passage at 52:03

52:23 you take, you know, when you are so strongly identified and judgmental about your emotional habits. Report an error in the passage at 52:23 Highlight the passage at 52:23

52:32 So don't take refuge in your critical mind about how you should be. A mature, enlightened Samana should be like this. And then you find yourself in a heap of despair and selfish obsessions and fears and so forth. And then hate yourself because you feel disgusted and ashamed of yourself. Report an error in the passage at 52:32 Highlight the passage at 52:32

53:04 But trust in the awakeness to that. This is what it's like, like this. This sense of accepting it, allowing these things to be what they are. Report an error in the passage at 53:04 Highlight the passage at 53:04

53:22 As soon as you start passing judgment, I don't want you to be the way you are, then you're making a problem about it. You're compounding it with ignorance. Report an error in the passage at 53:22 Highlight the passage at 53:22

53:32 I don't want these stupid emotions, these immature, childish, I want to get rid of them. And that sounds very mature, doesn't it? Sounds right. Sounds right. Report an error in the passage at 53:32 Highlight the passage at 53:32

53:50 It shouldn't. A man my age shouldn't have such emotions. He should have gotten beyond that by now. I should have transcended all that. And here I am, you know, emotional wreck at 67. Report an error in the passage at 53:50 Highlight the passage at 53:50

54:12 And I shouldn't be. That's very mature, you know. Way of looking at everything, how I should be, but in terms of the way it is, isn't it? If right now my emotional state is that of a four-year-old child that wants his own way, then this awareness Report an error in the passage at 54:12 Highlight the passage at 54:12

54:42 of it is not judging it. It's not saying you shouldn't feel this emotion and you should be ashamed of yourself. That's the inner tyrant, isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 54:42 Highlight the passage at 54:42

54:55 The self-righteous thing that knows, you know, how we should be, what we shouldn't be. Very Report an error in the passage at 54:55 Highlight the passage at 54:55

55:06 judgmental, full of its own kind of righteous opinion. We do it to each other. You can get on our high horse and I can tell you, you know, how you should be. Report an error in the passage at 55:06 Highlight the passage at 55:06

55:24 And if you're not the way you should be right now, then you shouldn't be like this. You shouldn't be the way you are. Report an error in the passage at 55:24 Highlight the passage at 55:24

55:37 But that ends up as tyranny, isn't it? It's just a mental tyranny that doesn't solve any problems whatsoever. It just makes our lives unbearable just through being critical and judgmental. Report an error in the passage at 55:37 Highlight the passage at 55:37

55:58 So awareness Report an error in the passage at 55:58 Highlight the passage at 55:58

56:03 transcends this righteous, rational, Report an error in the passage at 56:03 Highlight the passage at 56:03

56:14 It includes it, and also the emotional world that we have, whether it's mature, childish, or crazy, or foolish, or whatever value judgments you might make about it. This awareness allows things to be what they are. It's not demanding it to be something it can't be. The Report an error in the passage at 56:14 Highlight the passage at 56:14

· · · silence, 6 minutes

1:02:31 conventional realm of This personality of mine has a lot of fears and inadequacies and problems around my personal habits and things like this. Then that can be true. But what I'm pointing to is getting beyond, seeing beyond the personal to get to this. If you always come from that and believe in that as your reality, then that's how you experience your life, through that limitation. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:31 Highlight the passage at 1:02:31

1:03:25 So this awakened, wake up, putto, pay attention, is before you become a person. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:25 Highlight the passage at 1:03:25

1:03:41 It's learning to... To recognize or realize in the Third Noble Truth the cessation of dukkha, don't see that as something remote, but the more you kind of explore this, what is like these koans, these ways of kind of inquiring into this moment, Report an error in the passage at 1:03:41 Highlight the passage at 1:03:41

1:04:12 that which is aware right now, this alertness. It's a state of being. It's not personal. It's not like I'm making myself into an awakened, aware person. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:12 Highlight the passage at 1:04:12

1:04:36 And then it's like, like then the thinking, if I start to think about it and figure it out, then I get caught in the limitations of my, the way I think and memories and so forth, my thought habits. But if I trust in this awakened attention. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:36 Highlight the passage at 1:04:36

1:04:56 Listening. And that's before I become a person. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:56 Highlight the passage at 1:04:56

1:05:05 This is just pointing and learning to realize this, recognize, appreciate that no matter what you think you are and, you know, on the level of your conventional ego and personality and how real that might be in terms of The worldly conventions and worldly realities. But don't limit yourself to that perspective. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:05 Highlight the passage at 1:05:05

1:05:41 I'm encouraging not to bind yourself, come from that position as how you're going to interpret your experience through consciousness. So Report an error in the passage at 1:05:41 Highlight the passage at 1:05:41

1:06:01 it's like encouraging and trusting in this attentiveness. Listening, the Report an error in the passage at 1:06:01 Highlight the passage at 1:06:01

1:06:19 putto, the awakened, the aware. And Report an error in the passage at 1:06:19 Highlight the passage at 1:06:19

1:06:29 so there's a consciousness. But before I create anything in consciousness, there's awareness and consciousness. It stops there. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:29 Highlight the passage at 1:06:29

1:06:45 Then if I get lost, then suddenly I start thinking about myself as a person and get caught into that. That comes after that. My personality is conditioned. It's impermanent. It's forever changing, you know. You can't find any real core to it. There's no kind of real, you know, center core to Ajahn Sumedho. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:45 Highlight the passage at 1:06:45

1:07:23 It's all just kind of nebulous, ephemeral movements of mental state. So what has this core, this sense of stability, is awareness, because Report an error in the passage at 1:07:23 Highlight the passage at 1:07:23

1:07:47 it holds the range, the personal habits, the memories, the worldly conventions, good and evil, and all that. It includes all of that. It's not a state that divides anything. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:47 Highlight the passage at 1:07:47

1:08:11 Unites everything in this moment. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:11 Highlight the passage at 1:08:11