Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow_

0:00 Satsang with Mooji Satsang with Mooji Murtasa Report an error in the passage at 0:00 Highlight the passage at 0:00

0:09 [chanting]

0:22 Sambhutasa Desangamata Satavara Yesodavantabhamunchantusata This Report an error in the passage at 0:22 Highlight the passage at 0:22

0:43 Saturday evening, I have this opportunity to come to Chithurst and offer dharma, take the precepts, practice meditation, dhanasila pavana. Report an error in the passage at 0:43 Highlight the passage at 0:43

1:08 So this is... Report an error in the passage at 1:08 Highlight the passage at 1:08

1:17 Ajahn Siddhito made this a Saturday night event. I still haven't got quite used to it actually, because I'm still a lunar type practitioner. Report an error in the passage at 1:17 Highlight the passage at 1:17

1:35 And Report an error in the passage at 1:35 Highlight the passage at 1:35

1:50 then this is the period of where we, the formal meditation, or the three months of January, February, March, where we traditionally usually have our monastic retreat. shiver. Report an error in the passage at 1:50 Highlight the passage at 1:50

· · · silence, 1 minute

2:09 Where the lay people come to support, offer support so the samanas can give up, or at least try to give up, or partially give up their duties, responsibilities, and Report an error in the passage at 2:09 Highlight the passage at 2:09

2:28 to develop, try to encourage pavana, or meditation. Report an error in the passage at 2:28 Highlight the passage at 2:28

2:39 So these are, you know, this sequence of dhanasila pavana is... It's good for reflection because many times in a country like this, the Western world, the interest is in pavana. And that is, we want to meditate, we want to become enlightened, we want peaceful mental states, deep samādhi, attainments, achievements, and all the attractiveness that we can imagine having through Report an error in the passage at 2:39 Highlight the passage at 2:39

3:17 meditation. Meditation techniques. And then the Dhanasila, sometimes in the Asian countries, there's so much emphasis on dhana, on generosity. In Thailand, for example, society is kind of culturally, this whole cultural kind of ethos, it's zeitgeist is dhana, is generosity. Report an error in the passage at 3:17 Highlight the passage at 3:17

3:49 It's part of a whole way of, you know, of looking at life, being generous is kind of the essence of their, you know, social values. Report an error in the passage at 3:49 Highlight the passage at 3:49

4:03 So dharma, and that is, you know, when one looks at this sense of dharma or generosity, it's, you know, it's, you know, a way of getting rid of selfish tendencies. of finding joy in life. When we live for the welfare of others, share what we have, when we're generous, then we experience a lot of joy in our lives. Report an error in the passage at 4:03 Highlight the passage at 4:03

4:35 At least I do. I speak for myself. If I think only of what I want, what I want to do, and my practice, even my... Altruism of wanting to become enlightened to save all sentient beings. It might be based on an altruistic bodhisattva ideal. It still can be done in a very selfish way. I'm dedicating myself to this highest goal. Report an error in the passage at 4:35 Highlight the passage at 4:35

5:08 And then I become convinced that the rest isn't important. Day to day generosity. Sharing, giving, that's for people that just maybe we can even get quite snooty about it. Somehow we're a step above those who practice dharma. We're on the higher path. And so you can develop a real sense of superiority and conceit by being attached to the... Report an error in the passage at 5:08 Highlight the passage at 5:08

5:49 Altruism of complete enlightenment for the welfare of all sentient beings. Where dharma in its kind of everyday mundane ordinariness is offering, you know, like putting food in the alms bowl or doing your chore or offering something just without asking for any kind of result or appreciation or... If one develops this quality, then you find that you begin to enjoy life. Report an error in the passage at 5:49 Highlight the passage at 5:49

6:41 There's a joyousness in one's life that you can't have if it's only centered in... Self-attainment or obsessions with your own views and opinions. Or doing things in order to be rewarded, like being generous in order to gain the approval of others or making merits in the next life. You might be born in a higher place than the position you're in this one. So there's always a sense of doing something to get something. Report an error in the passage at 6:41 Highlight the passage at 6:41

7:20 Or it can be compulsive, just part of the, you know, you feel guilty if you're not. Report an error in the passage at 7:20 Highlight the passage at 7:20

7:30 So this is where they kind of mix together, where dana, sīla, pavana. You know, it's not just these are, this is the limitation of thought. You have one concept, one, two, three. First dana, then sīla, then pavana. But actually the reality of... Report an error in the passage at 7:30 Highlight the passage at 7:30

7:54 This realm is not defined or confined to that sequence. But an encouragement to actually reflect the results of even your own generosity. Report an error in the passage at 7:54 Highlight the passage at 7:54

8:09 Maybe you're a very generous giving person and then you feel somehow people don't appreciate all you've done. And then that is... So you're not enjoying being generous because you... feel hurt or unhappy because nobody notices all your works. Well, then that is a point of dukkha, isn't it? A sense of, know, I would like somebody to at least say thank you for my generosity. Report an error in the passage at 8:09 Highlight the passage at 8:09

8:48 knowledge, at least I have my chore properly. Report an error in the passage at 8:48 Highlight the passage at 8:48

8:56 At least I expect a little bit of recognition. But even that attitude, if you notice, if one follows that, then no longer does one receive the joyfulness of selfless giving. Report an error in the passage at 8:56 Highlight the passage at 8:56

9:17 And the sīla is taking responsibility for action, living in the world. What we do with our bodies, what we say, with our speech. And so the general advice is do good, refrain from doing evil. Report an error in the passage at 9:17 Highlight the passage at 9:17

9:44 So then this is, you know, this is taking on more, putting boundaries on behavior. So we take the five precepts or the eight precepts, ten precepts, the upasampada and so forth. These are... Report an error in the passage at 9:44 Highlight the passage at 9:44

10:04 Ways of developing awareness around bodily action, speech. So in the attitude of refraining from intentionally harming other creatures, like the first precept, banadibhata viramani, is banadibhata, refrain from intentionally harming, malevolent harming, say, another human being. And say, this is... These are not like moral imperatives given from above, but they're guidelines for behavior to develop and cultivate a more responsible way of living, more sensitive way, respect for the rights of others to coexist on this planet. Report an error in the passage at 10:04 Highlight the passage at 10:04

11:02 Not only other human beings, but eventually one can expand it to all living creatures. In the monastic sense of bhana-dibhata, it's respecting the life of all living creatures. So Report an error in the passage at 11:02 Highlight the passage at 11:02

11:26 this takes awareness too. You're not just living this life for your own benefit. But you're also learning to respect the people that you're living with, the society you're in. The environment itself, Report an error in the passage at 11:26 Highlight the passage at 11:26

11:48 respecting the planet and the universe that we're living in. And then the pavana then is the meditation in which we can practice, recognize or realize ultimate truth or paramata satcha or the paramatadharma. Report an error in the passage at 11:48 Highlight the passage at 11:48

12:17 So the first two, dhanasila, are also Say, for those who don't really care about Nibbāna very much, but would love to have a happier life in the world, then, you know, one way of developing a joyful heart and a sense of self-respect is definitely with Dhanasila. Report an error in the passage at 12:17 Highlight the passage at 12:17

12:44 Because these are the generosity and being responsible for how you live, what you say and do with your body. That creates a sense of, you know, you're living in a way you can respect yourself. At least speaking for myself, this is how it affects me. Report an error in the passage at 12:44 Highlight the passage at 12:44

13:07 I respect that in others when I see them, when I see generosity, unselfish giving. Somehow that moves me. I respect that. That is something I admire when I see it in others. People who are not just using their bodies or their speech just heedlessly without taking responsibility, just using them for self-indulgence, pleasure, exploiting others without consideration or care or concern for how it affects anyone else. Report an error in the passage at 13:07 Highlight the passage at 13:07

13:55 Then Pavanar is cultivating The path or the way of non-suffering. And so Bhavana is generally what most of us start with, what we're interested in. At least in my own case, I wasn't particularly interested in Donna Sela in the beginning, but in Bhavana. Report an error in the passage at 13:55 Highlight the passage at 13:55

14:28 This is what inspired me when I came across Buddhism, when I first... memories of... Being interested in the teaching of the Buddha was in the meditation practice because of the suffering, the suffering that I had at the time. I was still only about 20, 21 years old, but the suffering was caused through the way I thought, the self-centeredness, the self-consciousness, the tendency to... Report an error in the passage at 14:28 Highlight the passage at 14:28

15:09 You know, be caught in all kinds of fears of rejection and anxieties about the future. When you're that young, you know, how you look is so important and whether you're attractive and people like you. One can suffer enormously by feeling kind of diminished or rejected or looked down on or not appreciated. Report an error in the passage at 15:09 Highlight the passage at 15:09

15:40 Either through actual incidences or through just one's own feelings. I could create whole scenarios of rejection that had no grounds in any kind of real way. Report an error in the passage at 15:40 Highlight the passage at 15:40

15:56 Because fear, delusion and that anxiety that's caused from self-centeredness and self-consciousness where you see yourself in a hostile universe. Surrounded by all kinds of conditions that can cause you a lot of misery, complications and suffering. Report an error in the passage at 15:56 Highlight the passage at 15:56

16:28 And yet, I wasn't in, you know, it wasn't that my life was particularly unpleasant. You know, when I look back, I think I had quite a, you know, very nice parents and born in a nice society, you know, a lot of good things. Report an error in the passage at 16:28 Highlight the passage at 16:28

16:46 I was not an abused child or mistreated in any big way or anything, just the usual problems that any boy has in any society. But Report an error in the passage at 16:46 Highlight the passage at 16:46

17:12 the suffering was, when people ask me why I chose Buddhism, because I realized at that young age how much I suffered. And this suffering was just the way I thought. I thought the critical mind was highly developed. And the fear, the anxiety that generated from these delusions. Report an error in the passage at 17:12 Highlight the passage at 17:12

17:40 I saw myself always in danger. And so there's strong desire to retire from the world, to go away and hide somewhere. It was more like hermetic life, go off into a cave. I remember thinking of the attractiveness. I started taking an interest in yoga, read about yogis in India and look at books with pictures of yogis doing these incredible postures, standing on one leg for 50 years or something like this. Report an error in the passage at 17:40 Highlight the passage at 17:40

18:22 Hanging upside down from a tree covered in ashes and no matter how ridiculous it was, I admired this kind of, this sense of doing it by myself was not, even these kind of seemingly impossible things inspired me actually, they did not repel me. What I found most threatening was social events. Just having to fit into a middle-class society that I didn't really like. I never liked my own society very much. Report an error in the passage at 18:22 Highlight the passage at 18:22

19:08 So I, you know, inclined towards wanting to get away from it, get out of it. Report an error in the passage at 19:08 Highlight the passage at 19:08

19:20 Well, then the becoming a Buddhist monk was, you know, quite in line with that aspiration. But still, The tendencies, the selfishness and the sense of me trying to get away, to hide away, to move away from all the things that threatened me and frightened me, trying to find a place in the world where I could feel comfortable and safe as a person. Report an error in the passage at 19:20 Highlight the passage at 19:20

20:00 And this was very much what motivated me and directed me into monasticism, Buddhist monasticism. And then my meeting with Lungpho Chah, that was an interesting one because his whole movement was pulling me out of that mode and putting me into a context of being the recipient of dharma, living... This mendicant's life and being a receiver of the generosity of others. So even though I didn't feel particularly generous myself, because Report an error in the passage at 20:00 Highlight the passage at 20:00

20:48 I was a monk in Thailand where people were generous, this started me thinking about, started contemplating what dharma really means. You know, the beauty of it. Because I was always very, this brought into my consciousness a lot of gratitude because just being, you know, having that much generosity directed to me helped me to develop a little more confidence and trust in human beings. Report an error in the passage at 20:48 Highlight the passage at 20:48

21:26 Where this generosity may be, you know, it's not that I'm from a stingy family or a... Or a society that lacks generosity. But it's not... It doesn't have the importance, the significance that you find it's given in a country like Thailand or Sri Lanka. Report an error in the passage at 21:26 Highlight the passage at 21:26

21:54 You're not really... You're not really... They're encouraged to share your things. But it's not the ideal of the society. The ideal was much more one of... Report an error in the passage at 21:54 Highlight the passage at 21:54

22:10 Being a winner, being a champion, you know, proving yourself. Well, these kind of ideals are, you know, they're not very peaceful ideals. You want to always prove yourself to be a winner, to be a success. These are not mental states that bring peace or joy into one's life. The best you can do is maybe When you do have moments where you actually win something, you have this kind of inspired feeling. You know, you become somebody who says, you're the champion. Report an error in the passage at 22:10 Highlight the passage at 22:10

22:55 There's a moment there of great happiness, but you can't sustain it, and it just goes very quickly, and then you think, yeah, but what about tomorrow? Will I be a champion tomorrow? Will you still love me tomorrow? Report an error in the passage at 22:55 Highlight the passage at 22:55

23:30 Now reflecting on being the recipient of generosity, and then the Lumpur Charles emphasis on what they call the samana sanya, the way of reflecting on the life of a samana, of an alms mendicant. And I know I'm dependent on the generosity of others. Things like this, I've found. Quite moving to me because I realized I'd put myself in a position when you ordain as a bhikkhu, you know, you can't have any money and all the kind of things that supported a sense of independence and success as a person, you know, and the values of my own culture. Report an error in the passage at 23:30 Highlight the passage at 23:30

24:15 I'd given up. You know, suddenly I was no longer independent and, you know, I could take care of myself. I actually needed... Report an error in the passage at 24:15 Highlight the passage at 24:15

24:27 Support, because I didn't have any money. I needed somebody to give me something to eat, at least. In Thailand, of course, it's not a problem. It's so much part of the culture. So then the sense of this offering of food, which we do every day, like here, like today, this morning, just the offering of the food. Report an error in the passage at 24:27 Highlight the passage at 24:27

24:55 food in a formal way. Report an error in the passage at 24:55 Highlight the passage at 24:55

25:11 purity with Vinaya and keep all the rules strictly and sometimes we do get caught up in in trying to In our kind of attachment to doing it the right way, otherwise it's not quite right and you can't really appreciate the generosity because maybe it wasn't received properly. And so we can make problems around this if we want to. But the point of the generosity is what I emphasize. Report an error in the passage at 25:11 Highlight the passage at 25:11

25:50 That intention of people like the lay supporters coming here with that intention of offering, Report an error in the passage at 25:50 Highlight the passage at 25:50

26:02 wanting, you know, not thinking of yourself, thinking, what am I going to get out of this winter's retreat here at Chithurst? You know, get a chance to meditate, listen to Ajahn Sumedho and see what can I get out of it. But I assume you're all totally dedicated just to support. Report an error in the passage at 26:02 Highlight the passage at 26:02

26:23 Totally selfless offering to support and encourage us in our pāwanā. Report an error in the passage at 26:23 Highlight the passage at 26:23

26:40 Meditation or pāwanā is sometimes the way we grasp it makes us very selfish. It's just, you know, I want this, I've got to have that, I've got to have my time, my space, my samādhi practice. Report an error in the passage at 26:40 Highlight the passage at 26:40

26:57 I've got to have a certain level of quietness. And so there's... There's a lot of self in our practice and how we approach getting attainments, getting jhānas, having nimittas, having stages. And so with all, you know, if seen from the position of, you know, attainment and achievement from a mind that's been conditioned towards achieving life. Report an error in the passage at 26:57 Highlight the passage at 26:57

27:29 The American... Mindset is an Arahant is a real winner. It's a champion, isn't it? From the culturally conditioned view of my mind, an Arahant is a real winner. He's conquered defilements, number one. Now that's just a cultural way of interpreting that concept of Arahant. It's not an American concept. So I take it, I read the Pāli Canon, find these Pāli words, and then immediately the Arahant is perfectly enlightened, and that's what I want. Report an error in the passage at 27:29 Highlight the passage at 27:29

28:14 I want to become an Arahant, you know, like an American boy should, you know, aim for the best, get to the top. Report an error in the passage at 28:14 Highlight the passage at 28:14

28:34 So culturally, you know, this is how the mind's conditioned to interpret oftentimes the scriptural teachings. Report an error in the passage at 28:34 Highlight the passage at 28:34

28:46 But then real bhavana is not an attainment or an achievement. It's like you're kind of lured into the saṅgha, the promises of enlightenment. Report an error in the passage at 28:46 Highlight the passage at 28:46

29:07 And then a good teacher gets you to look at your own desires. So, I mean, it's a skillful means of attracting you towards something. You know, because on the level of an unenlightened consciousness, you have to present and make it look attractive. Or at least inspire, make it inspiring enough to make somebody want to try it out. Report an error in the passage at 29:07 Highlight the passage at 29:07

29:43 So in the life in Wat Pa Pong, with Luang Por Chah, of course this was the teaching about the insights into the Four Noble Truths. This is what... What I heard him teaching. Report an error in the passage at 29:43 Highlight the passage at 29:43

30:09 And the previous year I had developed a lot of the year of my Samanera, where I was a hermit, was, you know, just investigating these Four Noble Truths. So I was primed. By the time I got to Wat Pa Pong, Ajahn Chah's monastery, I was primed for this, for these Four Noble Truths. So the ten years I spent Luang Por Chah in Thailand was very much, know, this has been the emphasis, the practice, the suffering, the cause, the cessation, and the way of non-suffering. Report an error in the passage at 30:09 Highlight the passage at 30:09

30:47 So Report an error in the passage at 30:47 Highlight the passage at 30:47

30:53 suffering is not an inspiring word, is it? It's not something that, you know, say, what did Buddha teach? There is suffering. It doesn't sound very... Interesting to me. Why don't we talk about immortal love? That's inspiring, isn't it? Something, you know, that uplifts and inspires. So this is where mindfulness is, you know, trying to, like I was saying this morning at breakfast, how Nibbāna is described as the highest happiness, which is a kind of, you know, not very accurate. Report an error in the passage at 30:53 Highlight the passage at 30:53

31:40 But it is inspiring. You know, so heaven is the highest, you know, we think of heaven as being the best. You know, I want to go to heaven means I want to have this eternal happiness forever. I want to go to heaven and be happy and safe and have no more worries and just have beauty and refinement and pleasure and comfort and safety and all the best forever. Report an error in the passage at 31:40 Highlight the passage at 31:40

32:13 And then Nibbāna is higher than that? Report an error in the passage at 32:13 Highlight the passage at 32:13

32:19 So then what is this Nibbāna that's higher? When you try to think of heaven as the very best of anything you can think of, where there's only love and happiness and beauty and joy and pleasure and comfort and safety, all these words, you know, what we want, what creates our desires, we want, where we will... Report an error in the passage at 32:19 Highlight the passage at 32:19

32:46 We'll be forever loved in a totally safe place for eternity and where we'll be beautiful forever. We won't grow old and we'll never get sick or have pain or any of the nastiness that we experience in this life. Report an error in the passage at 32:46 Highlight the passage at 32:46

33:11 So then in Four Noble Truths by taking dukkha or suffering as the first noble truth It's because this is a realm of dukkha that we're experiencing, this realm, this sense realm. It is a realm of where we're constantly experiencing some form of irritation, discomfort, dissatisfaction, just on the natural level of sense experience, isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 33:11 Highlight the passage at 33:11

33:44 What is having a human body about? Being an individual human being on this planet. You know, your body, from the time it's born to the time it dies, is subjected to the vicissitudes of life, the temperature, the day, the night, the aging process, constitution, whether you're vigorous and healthy or sickly and weak. Report an error in the passage at 33:44 Highlight the passage at 33:44

34:15 Some people are born with all kinds of disabilities and weak constitutions, and some are... Report an error in the passage at 34:15 Highlight the passage at 34:15

34:27 realm of the senses is like this it is constantly trying to ourselves from suffering too much Report an error in the passage at 34:27 Highlight the passage at 34:27

34:43 there's a lot of fear and reactivity and anxiety the future because the future, what does the future hold for us? Increasing age. Report an error in the passage at 34:43 Highlight the passage at 34:43

34:56 Every one of us is getting older day by day. And getting older means, you know, doesn't mean that you're going to get better and better, is it? It's usually getting older, it means it gets worse and worse. In terms of physical, you know, your appearance and your alacrity and vigor and health and all that. Report an error in the passage at 34:56 Highlight the passage at 34:56

35:23 Body starts wearing out. The sense realm, isn't it? It's just the... This constant impingement of contact through sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, and then the thinking process. Most of our suffering is around thinking. We can bear with the sensory, you know, when we have to, we can bear with the ugliness that we might see with the eyes or the... Report an error in the passage at 35:23 Highlight the passage at 35:23

35:59 and the bad tastes and the pain in the body and all the rest. These, you know, we have the ability to bear with, we can really create enormous anguish. Report an error in the passage at 35:59 Highlight the passage at 35:59

36:15 it's fair with the way we think, when we're healthy. when I was 21 years old, I was healthy, young. Report an error in the passage at 36:15 Highlight the passage at 36:15

36:32 I have a good constitution, still have a pretty good constitution for such an old body. It was good looking even. And intelligent, had so many gifts. Report an error in the passage at 36:32 Highlight the passage at 36:32

36:57 And yet the suffering was, I mean I even thought of suicide many times. Never really. I attempted it, but it certainly attracted me when life got too, when I thought too much about life, and I'd get overwhelmed with despair. Report an error in the passage at 36:57 Highlight the passage at 36:57

37:16 So then you, you know, this thinking process, this fear, anxiety, an endless kind of obloquy, a procession of anxiety around life, self-consciousness, worry. worry Report an error in the passage at 37:16 Highlight the passage at 37:16

37:38 Feelings of, you know, just being unable to cope with difficult situations. Fear of being hurt, of being rejected, of not being a champion, fear of failure, fear of mediocrity. I was conceited enough to want to really be a champion. The idea of being just an ordinary bloke, a mediocre American, white American male. Report an error in the passage at 37:38 Highlight the passage at 37:38

38:10 Mediocrity was like hell for me. That image, you know, I couldn't satisfy myself with just being, you know, doing what you're supposed to do, what your parents expect you to do, get a job, get married, have children, settle down, and try to live the American dream without being highly ambitious. But I also had the conceit and the drive to be very ambitious, but not on the worldly level. I've never wanted to be president of the United States. Report an error in the passage at 38:10 Highlight the passage at 38:10

38:55 Never been that crazy. Report an error in the passage at 38:55 Highlight the passage at 38:55

39:07 So mediocrity and being ordinary. Also, at one time, I mean, thinking, why couldn't I be this way? Why couldn't I just be an ordinary guy, you know, just satisfied with... With the things that most seem to be, you know, weren't that ambitious. Report an error in the passage at 39:07 Highlight the passage at 39:07

39:29 So this suffering was, you know, began to, you know, at least this kind of suffering was the very thing that kind of propelled me. And what I could recognize when I first came across Buddhism was a kind of insight in the fact that there is a way. There is a possibility of getting out of this trap. And not just to resign myself to mediocrity or that, but in a real interesting, I found Buddhism interesting. Report an error in the passage at 39:29 Highlight the passage at 39:29

40:10 And it resonated very quickly. I didn't have any great problem with understanding Buddhism. Report an error in the passage at 40:10 Highlight the passage at 40:10

40:27 So then this... This dukkha was the compelling factor that brought me into the pavana or the meditation. Then through that, through the pavana, through committing myself into monastic life, then the generosity, the dana, the sīla, I began to recognize the value of dana sīla. Report an error in the passage at 40:27 Highlight the passage at 40:27

41:00 So there is a tendency to think of This sequence, dana sīla pavana, is you have to be generous first, develop enough dana barami in order to keep the sīla, and then you keep the sīla long enough, you develop enough sīla barami for pavana. That's the logical sequence from the structure. So I remember when we first came to England in 1977 at Hampstead, Report an error in the passage at 41:00 Highlight the passage at 41:00

41:49 the time there were a lot of we call people that in houses, a lot of the big houses that are now very expensive. ...flats and that in Hampstead were inhabited by squatters. And some of these squatters would come to the Hampstead... These were not the kind of... the Hampstead literati or... And so then... Report an error in the passage at 41:49 Highlight the passage at 41:49

42:32 Some of the Asian people started questioning Ajahn Sumedho teaching meditation to all these people that obviously didn't have any sīla or dana, never offered anything. Report an error in the passage at 42:32 Highlight the passage at 42:32

42:48 And we could hardly pay for the electricity at Hampstead because Report an error in the passage at 42:48 Highlight the passage at 42:48

42:56 nobody was into dana, the people that tended to visit, or sīla. And so then this idea of they have to teach. Dhana first, then sīla, and then pavana, the kind of, you know, the higher level that you deserve if you have good sīla and you're generous. Report an error in the passage at 42:56 Highlight the passage at 42:56

43:20 But Ajahn Chah's response to this question was, you know, you aim to meet people where their interest is, where they're awakened, what they're interested in. You go to that point. Because... Report an error in the passage at 43:20 Highlight the passage at 43:20

43:38 People were interested, they came to the Hamsa Bihara for that, for that kind of, they wanted to learn how to meditate. And maybe they didn't particularly want to reach Nibbāna, but they wanted, you know, they recognized something or other, maybe they wanted even, in those days there were these, this phony Tibetan writer, what was it, Bob Samrampa was popular, the third eye. Report an error in the passage at 43:38 Highlight the passage at 43:38

44:09 I don't know how many people I've met said, what was your first contact with Buddhism? They said, lobsam rampa. And of course, pathetic beginning. But it is a beginning, isn't it? If it awakens you in some way, or, you know, who am I to, you know, you have to be awakened only through the pure teachings of the Pāli Canon. Report an error in the passage at 44:09 Highlight the passage at 44:09

44:37 That's maybe holding the standard too high. Anything that awakens you, whatever, even if it's not exactly the best, but it does, it's something in you opens up that had been closed off. Report an error in the passage at 44:37 Highlight the passage at 44:37

45:01 But then Lungpho Chah stated that if they start with Pavana, they eventually realize the value of Dhanasila. So this is more like what I'm pointing to is... is that the thinking mind, the linear way of thinking of one, two, three, eightfold path, four noble truths, one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, the three refuges, Buddha, dhamma, saṅgha, one, two, three, the six senses, seven factors of enlightenment, 37 bodhipakya dhammas, and 52 jeta sikhas, and on and on like this. Report an error in the passage at 45:01 Highlight the passage at 45:01

45:44 It sounds, these are, this is all about one, two, three, A, B, C. The thinking process is, it functions on that. You know, you have A and then B and then C. So pointing out how the thinking process is that way, it's limited to this dualism. Report an error in the passage at 45:44 Highlight the passage at 45:44

46:12 Another technique that Lungpho Chah You know, the statement of true but not right, right but not true. He'd have these conundrums and you'd kind of, you know, you'd make a statement that you felt was true and he'd say true but not right, right but not true. Report an error in the passage at 46:12 Highlight the passage at 46:12

46:32 Because on a logical level, the thinking mind, if it's true then it must be right and if it's right it must be true. That's how my logical mind works. I say true but not right, right but not true. Report an error in the passage at 46:32 Highlight the passage at 46:32

46:48 That puts me in a state of not being sure quite what that means. Report an error in the passage at 46:48 Highlight the passage at 46:48

46:55 It puts doubt into the mind. And yet one begins to notice that one, that, you know, how much on the thinking level of personal needs as a personality, I wanted clarity and precision, logic and reason, definitions, good definitions of the concepts. Proof, you know, like a scientist, this works because we can prove it with our, you know, our technology. The things that, the kind of conditioning of the mind was very much one based on logic and reason, on the thought process, on 1, 2, 3, A, B, C. Report an error in the passage at 46:55 Highlight the passage at 46:55

47:43 And yet the awakening experience with Buddhism wasn't a logical one. I didn't know what it was. That awakened me when I came across Buddhism the first time. Because it wasn't a reasonable thing. It wasn't a reasonable experience. I couldn't explain it or justify it. Still it can't. It just happened. It was like that suddenly. Something happened in me that I couldn't see any reason for it happening. Report an error in the passage at 47:43 Highlight the passage at 47:43

48:25 Because it wasn't. A thought or a reasonable experience. But it was real. It's definitely real. And definitely known. When I started thinking about it, then I could easily put it down. Oh, maybe I was just a little, you know, you know, maybe I ate too many Mars bars that day. Report an error in the passage at 48:25 Highlight the passage at 48:25

48:54 Maybe it Report an error in the passage at 48:54 Highlight the passage at 48:54

48:59 was just an attack of madness. You know, it's trying to figure it out. I just, I don't know what happened. What's happening to me? Can I trust this? You know, and then it's so uncertain. So what to do? What should I do? Where should I go? And the mind immediately wanted to make something, to get something out of it, to prove it, to justify it, to understand it on the level of concepts and thoughts. Report an error in the passage at 48:59 Highlight the passage at 48:59

49:19 oh. Report an error in the passage at 49:19 Highlight the passage at 49:19

49:32 thoughts. Report an error in the passage at 49:32 Highlight the passage at 49:32

49:35 Because it did happen with reading a book on Buddhism, then of course the natural inclination is towards trying to find out more about Buddhism. Report an error in the passage at 49:35 Highlight the passage at 49:35

49:48 So that brought me into this trying to find literature, what was available, anything that was Buddhist. Lobsam Rampa wasn't out yet. That was in 1955. So I had, you know, it was... Alan Watts and D.T. Suzuki, those were the ones that I depended on in the beginning. Report an error in the passage at 49:48 Highlight the passage at 49:48

50:24 So in, you know, then as I began to develop meditation, I began to just observe how the thinking process, the year I was a samanera, living as a hermit. If you live alone, you know, and you don't have any outward stimulation or anyone to talk to or distraction, Report an error in the passage at 50:24 Highlight the passage at 50:24

50:48 You can go absolutely crazy. It's like being isolated, like solitary confinement. It's dangerous, in fact, because your mind just goes really mad sometimes when all the things that you depend on for keeping this reasonableness in life, making things so you can cope with things, you want them ordered like this, and you've got this way of dealing with doubt or anger or fear. Report an error in the passage at 50:48 Highlight the passage at 50:48

51:18 There's all kinds of, in an average person's life, you know, ways of distracting yourself through eating things or watching television or doing something rather, chatting on the phone. But when you're in a little hut and with yourself for a year, very interesting. Report an error in the passage at 51:18 Highlight the passage at 51:18

51:48 Because the mind did, my rational mind went stock raving crazy. You know, it became totally irrational. I started experiencing all kinds of irrational things. And, you know, it was like having a breakdown or experience of madness. Report an error in the passage at 51:48 Highlight the passage at 51:48

52:12 Because, you know, I couldn't control it. You know, I couldn't force it. By being alone, I didn't have any references outside the present moment or the situation I was in. Report an error in the passage at 52:12 Highlight the passage at 52:12

52:32 So I did, you know, I'd do things to distract myself, whatever was available. They'd bring me some kind of medicines or stomach medicines. If they had anything in English on them, you know, like labels, I'd just start reading the labels over and over and memorize the contents. content of Thai medicine, if it was written in English, for something to do, to fill up the mind. Report an error in the passage at 52:32 Highlight the passage at 52:32

53:05 I knew how to read, and reading was obviously a way that I dealt with distraction, you know, to me feel safe and secure by reading things. But because the emphasis was on awareness, on mindfulness my preceptor You know, he just gave me a very short teaching on the five indriyas or five faculties, satta, virya, sati, samādhi, panya. Report an error in the passage at 53:05 Highlight the passage at 53:05

53:35 And he said, sati, and he says, that's the middle, that's the kingpin. Sati and then virya, samādhi, and satta and panya, this balancing act of effort with concentration and faith with wisdom. Report an error in the passage at 53:35 Highlight the passage at 53:35

53:55 So it was, you know, and it was through translation because at the time I couldn't understand Thai language. So something in me was open even to the madness I was experiencing because I began to just notice that if I just didn't make a problem that Report an error in the passage at 53:55 Highlight the passage at 53:55

54:25 this thing would go away. And, you know, if I started thinking about it... Am I crazy or should I leave or should I, you know, I could make, you know, scary scenarios of I'm going to, you know, I'm having a breakdown, I'm going mad because that's what it seemed like on the way that the mind was conditioned to think and experience life. Report an error in the passage at 54:25 Highlight the passage at 54:25

54:57 But this intuitive sense was developed, was developing. So the... There was a sense of trusting in just watching, observing, rather than in trying to control and get rid of. And then, of course, the Four Noble Truths became, you know, very much of, you know, things that I found very helpful. This is suffering. Suffering is like this. When I watched the suffering, it was just, you know, how my thinking, I create, I frighten myself by thinking, fearing. Report an error in the passage at 54:57 Highlight the passage at 54:57

55:35 You know, and everything, you know, like one's whole past started coming up, memories from childhood and adolescence and so forth. Every memory that seemed to be possible started coming into consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 55:35 Highlight the passage at 55:35

55:56 But then the sense of observing the impermanence of these conditions. Report an error in the passage at 55:56 Highlight the passage at 55:56

56:07 So this was... After, you know, after a few months, I began to really, something kind of, it was like a catharsis, you know, just something changed in me at that time because there was a sense of confidence in this awareness. Report an error in the passage at 56:07 Highlight the passage at 56:07

56:37 And that even though I could, and I could endure going mad and being alone. All the kind of mental states that if I didn't make a problem about them, they'd all, they just go their own way. And so there is a confidence in developing this awareness, which was very much the way I interpreted the Four Noble Truths. Report an error in the passage at 56:37 Highlight the passage at 56:37

57:07 So I incorporate these truths inside me. What is dukkha right now? What is the cause of suffering right now? The three kinds of desire. Bhavadana, Vipavadana, Gamadana. What are these right now? Observing, getting to know, investigating, desire, and then the cessation of desire. Report an error in the passage at 57:07 Highlight the passage at 57:07

57:38 And exploring. If I can observe desire, that which observes desire could not be desire. And putting that... Question into my mind. If that which is aware of desire, can one desire be aware of another desire? And just by asking yourself these kind of questions, this kind of inquiry into the nature of things, ask yourself, can your desire know another desire? Report an error in the passage at 57:38 Highlight the passage at 57:38

58:12 Or what is it that knows desire? What is it that is aware and sees desire as an object? They can know bhava dhanas like this, vipava dhanas like this, gama dhanas like this. And so more and more you separate, you're no longer, say, the self-view was very much, there was no separation. I'm desires, desires are me. I'm the body, body is me. I'm my thoughts, my memories, my memories are me. Report an error in the passage at 58:12 Highlight the passage at 58:12

58:48 Everything is me. Everything is mine and it's just that you're caught in this suffocating delusion that is unbearable when you really look at it. You can see why people take to drink and drugs and have to spend their time running around trying to get away because actually living with the conditioning of one's mind. Report an error in the passage at 58:48 Highlight the passage at 58:48

59:18 Without any reference point outside it is horrible. The hell realm, we create the hell realm ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 59:18 Highlight the passage at 59:18

59:29 So in that respect, by learning through sati, sampatanya, then the virya and the samādhi, the effort and concentration, these are developed also as we gain more confidence. Report an error in the passage at 59:29 Highlight the passage at 59:29

59:49 Not through me trying to get... Concentrated mind. Before I did this, I was very much into trying to get samādhi through concentrating the mind. There's some kind of attainment to try to get these different levels of samādhi. Because the mind was still caught in the rational conditioning thoughts and cultural conditioning. Report an error in the passage at 59:49 Highlight the passage at 59:49

1:00:32 So then the satta, And bhajna, faith and wisdom, like the saddha is a Pāli word translated generally as faith or confidence, a trust maybe. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:32 Highlight the passage at 1:00:32

1:00:49 It's not believing in something like believing in Buddhism. As you practice and you witness the results and things, then your confidence increases. When you can prove something, you see something in a direct way. You're not just believing the teacher anymore. anymore, or the scriptures, but you actually, that's believing in the ideas of Buddhism. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:49 Highlight the passage at 1:00:49

1:01:13 Sada is a faculty called an Indra. And if we have no sada, we can't do anything. We're caught in just too many doubts and we defeat ourselves with our own doubts and despair. But if we have saddha, this lifts us out of, at least for a moment, out of that negativity. You have confidence in something. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:13 Highlight the passage at 1:01:13

1:01:47 And by developing from that saddha, then the paññā develops, and then they balance each other out, faith and wisdom. Effort, concentration, mindfulness is the middle point. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:47 Highlight the passage at 1:01:47

1:02:08 So, and sometimes the way I talk sounds like I'm just talking about mindfulness and, you know, mindfulness, mindfulness, sati sampatanya, and I don't talk a lot about samādhi, but that's not my, I'm not putting or diminishing the value of samādhi or concentration, but we really, you know, as we recognize this Report an error in the passage at 1:02:08 Highlight the passage at 1:02:08

1:02:35 If we begin to value this mindfulness, then we can, then the possibility of effort and concentration develop in a balanced way. Or if there's too much samādhi, we go into trances or, you know, just, you're not, you know, you're not, not the right kind of effort. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:35 Highlight the passage at 1:02:35

1:02:58 You just get, or get dull, dull samādhi. I remember, you know, In my monastic life, I've been through that, where I had very dull samādhi. And I remember sitting there in a kind of stupid state. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:58 Highlight the passage at 1:02:58

1:03:23 Is this nibbāna? Report an error in the passage at 1:03:23 Highlight the passage at 1:03:23

1:03:28 I'm not really suffering. And Report an error in the passage at 1:03:28 Highlight the passage at 1:03:28

1:03:36 yet it was certainly better than the kind of madness of my thinking process, I must admit. I did prefer... the kind of self-critical madness of my thinking process. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:36 Highlight the passage at 1:03:36

1:04:01 then, but then, you know, if you trust as your confidence increases, this, you can, this, this Sanda can only, you know, as you practice and, and observe, notice, pay attention, even to, even to things, you know, not Even if you don't want to practice, observing this, not wanting to practice, not wanting to meditate. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:01 Highlight the passage at 1:04:01

1:04:32 You know, everything is part of it, so it's not a matter of really having a lot of faith in meditation and really going for it, because that's the champion syndrome again. The really good meditator that does all the right things, has all the insights and becomes an Arahant. Winner! Report an error in the passage at 1:04:32 Highlight the passage at 1:04:32

1:04:52 But sometimes you go through stages where we don't like even Buddhism anymore or hate monks and the Ajahn's and so forth. Anything, Theravāda Buddhism becomes, I get sick when somebody talks about Pāli Canon and scripture and you do anything to, because, you know, what, this is, you know, this is what the emotional reactions one is having. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:52 Highlight the passage at 1:04:52

1:05:25 And this is, you know, observing it, not criticizing or justifying or getting caught in the rational reaction to it, trying to understand it through analysis. But it's like this, the suffering of attachment to or the reaction aversion towards something that we before we valued. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:25 Highlight the passage at 1:05:25

1:05:52 So it's all grist for the mill, in other words. It's learning to use the way it is. And whatever way it is for you, you use that. So the laziness or lack of confidence or doubts or whatever you happen to be experiencing, if you're willing to use that, to say it's like this, feeling aversion, disillusionment, it's like this. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:52 Highlight the passage at 1:05:52

1:06:29 Being lazy is like this. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:29 Highlight the passage at 1:06:29

1:06:34 Being selfish is like this. And so I'm not saying that how you should be, but encourage you towards an attitude to learn from the way it is. From this, then the satta increases and the panya balances that. So you develop these five faculties. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:34 Highlight the passage at 1:06:34

1:07:02 But you don't have to think about it very much, don't you? Am I developing the five faculties when you start getting lost in trying to figure all that out? But over the years, this particular paradigm from five faculties has become very clear. Great periods where I've forgotten all about it. But I found that the value so much of the Theravāda-style teaching is that... Report an error in the passage at 1:07:02 Highlight the passage at 1:07:02

1:07:35 It does help, it's very useful towards understanding the way the mind works. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:35 Highlight the passage at 1:07:35

1:07:46 It's quite clearly described in a conventional form. And in these kind of standards of four this and five that and six of this and seven of that, it can sound very sterile and not very inspiring. But over the years, these lists of things also can be very useful references towards informing your intellect on what, you know, how to see, you know, having given you terminologies and structures to use for understanding on the intellectual level so that we're no longer just operating from the conditioning, the Western conditioned. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:46 Highlight the passage at 1:07:46

1:08:37 conditioned intellectual tendency. It's like learning another language, a scientific language. So I offer this for your reflection. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:37 Highlight the passage at 1:08:37