1209-Remembering-That-You-Are-Perfect

0:00 Sambhutasana Murtasa Report an error in the passage at 0:00 Highlight the passage at 0:00

0:02 [chanting]

0:16 Sambhutasa Apartha Desang Ammatasatavara Yesodavantabhamunjantusadhang Report an error in the passage at 0:16 Highlight the passage at 0:16

0:46 Evening Nara. opportunity to reflect on the Dhamma, the truth of the way it is, and then welcome the new Anagarikas, Vasco and Nicholas, who promised one year in Report an error in the passage at 0:46 Highlight the passage at 0:46

1:15 order to practice the Dhamma and to be free from all delusions. Report an error in the passage at 1:15 Highlight the passage at 1:15

1:41 Start out with the way it really is, as it's perfect, this moment, that everybody is perfect, the pure, unblemished, and that's the true nature, that's the dharma. Report an error in the passage at 1:41 Highlight the passage at 1:41

2:08 But then, out of ignorance of this reality, then we create illusions. We live in a world of our illusions, or the delusions. Report an error in the passage at 2:08 Highlight the passage at 2:08

2:25 So then the Buddha is the awakened state. It's awakened, conscious, knowing, the dharma. So when we take refuge in the Buddha, then this is not me personally. It's not a personal thing. The Buddha is not a person that I take refuge in. It's a convention, it's a word, a Pāli word, but it's pointing at a reality, which is awakeness, awakened consciousness. Report an error in the passage at 2:25 Highlight the passage at 2:25

3:20 What this encourages us to do is to wake up, to bring attention, to be mindful, here and now. To the way it is. Report an error in the passage at 3:20 Highlight the passage at 3:20

3:38 Now on a personal level, the way it is, then we might have, it's too cold in here, and I'm cold, or, you know, you create a sense of liking, disliking, because of the temperature, or the way your body is, or the emotional quality that you're experiencing at this time, the thinking process, the loves, hates, desires, Report an error in the passage at 3:38 Highlight the passage at 3:38

4:23 not some kind of personal but remembering the true nature, Dhamma, the way it is. Report an error in the passage at 4:23 Highlight the passage at 4:23

4:37 if we don't, if we forget that, then we're caught into the world of illusion. Illusions again. And so the aim was a monastic form, the precepts that the Anagarikas took this evening. This is a form, a convention, in order to help remember your true nature. Not as some kind of personal thing, you know, that I am now an Anagarika and I've got to become something, but... Report an error in the passage at 4:37 Highlight the passage at 4:37

5:13 I recognize that it is a conventional form to develop, encourage awakened awareness, mindfulness. That's the whole point of it. That's the purpose, the aim is for awakened awareness, understanding, knowing the true dhamma. Report an error in the passage at 5:13 Highlight the passage at 5:13

5:45 So you don't have to say true dhamma because dhamma is true anyway. What do you call that where you have some word, knowing the dhamma? Is it untrue dhamma? No, no. Knowing the dhamma. Now this word dhamma is another foreign word taken in the English context, but it's a valuable word to use, because we don't have a suitable equivalent in English, so we just take dhamma and make it an English word. Report an error in the passage at 5:45 Highlight the passage at 5:45

6:24 So the truth of the way it is, you know, I try to describe it and define it and go on into analysis and detail, the more you'll get confused. Report an error in the passage at 6:24 Highlight the passage at 6:24

6:40 So trying to define the word, make a proper definition of dharma that satisfies is almost impossible. It's reality, so it's only... Report an error in the passage at 6:40 Highlight the passage at 6:40

7:00 when we define then we tend to come from views, opinions, particular conditioned attitudes, Report an error in the passage at 7:00 Highlight the passage at 7:00

7:13 personal and so forth. That's why when we take the refuges in Buddha Dhamma Saṅgha, this isn't meant to be just another kind of... Report an error in the passage at 7:13 Highlight the passage at 7:13

7:35 Reminding it. Continuous reminder. Report an error in the passage at 7:35 Highlight the passage at 7:35

7:42 when you look at yourself you see, you know, the anagarikas or the white head, this is a, see these robes that you're wearing now as a reminder, not as some kind of reminder. Vanity or style or fashion or whether it's modern or old-fashioned or beautiful or not, it's always good to take the robe as a reminder. Report an error in the passage at 7:42 Highlight the passage at 7:42

8:13 It's a reminder of dharma, your intention for realizing the way it is. Report an error in the passage at 8:13 Highlight the passage at 8:13

8:28 So the saffron robe and so forth, the same thing. Over the past 40 years, wearing this particular old-fashioned outfit has Report an error in the passage at 8:28 Highlight the passage at 8:28

8:44 been a struggle sometimes because it's not the most convenient kind of thing to wear, and it does look peculiar in this society, but the aim is not for fashion or for vanity or for... for that but for awareness, Report an error in the passage at 8:44 Highlight the passage at 8:44

9:15 it helped, you know, when I start thinking, when I was the early years of my monastic life, I start getting caught up in my own personal views and opinions and and forth, and I look the robe and just the color itself. Report an error in the passage at 9:15 Highlight the passage at 9:15

9:37 Because it is a kind of almost an archetype. It's an ancient kind of apparel. It's something from 2,500 years ago, and even probably before that. So it helps to remind me to observe what I'm doing, to notice when I get caught up in my own... Loves and hates, likes and dislikes, my greed, hatred, fears, desires, and so forth. Report an error in the passage at 9:37 Highlight the passage at 9:37

10:22 We can use it as a personal attainment. I am a Buddhist monk and so forth, and this is kind of missing the point of it, not for personal identity. Report an error in the passage at 10:22 Highlight the passage at 10:22

10:45 It helps us, if used properly, mindfully, then it helps us to see the tendencies to identify. So even being a Buddhist monk in a non-Buddhist country, here in England, for example, people have criticized us for wearing a rather impractical garment in modern terms and something that makes us always stand out in a crowd. Report an error in the passage at 10:45 Highlight the passage at 10:45

11:14 You go on the London Underground, you're always, you know, different from everybody else. You can't just fade into the crowd, be one of the boys. Report an error in the passage at 11:14 Highlight the passage at 11:14

11:27 The only way that's possible is here at Amaravati when you've got a lot of monks. Report an error in the passage at 11:27 Highlight the passage at 11:27

11:36 Or in Thailand, it's much more easy, because it is a Buddhist country. But also, advantages here in England are that it does, you know, when... It brings up self-consciousness, you know, feelings of when people look at me in a strange way or schoolboys make fun of me or people call me skinhead or whatever, then, you know, how can I relate to this? Report an error in the passage at 11:36 Highlight the passage at 11:36

12:08 Because on a personal level, this is what I most dread in life, isn't it? To be made fun of, to be an oddball. and stand out and be jeered at. This is something I've always dreaded, the thing I most didn't want in my life. Report an error in the passage at 12:08 Highlight the passage at 12:08

12:32 And yet, using this, this fear and this self-consciousness and the resentment that might arise or whatever, the Buddha is aware of it. Meaning awareness in terms of the feeling. The way my personality, my self-view operates when people insult me or make fun of me is like this. Report an error in the passage at 12:32 Highlight the passage at 12:32

13:03 So the aim then is to be aware of what you're feeling, to know it. It is like this. It is what it is. To feel self-conscious or resentful or angry or embarrassed is like this. Report an error in the passage at 13:03 Highlight the passage at 13:03

13:23 You're noticing the way it is. Which is non-critical. There's no way you should feel. I can't tell you how you should feel. Report an error in the passage at 13:23 Highlight the passage at 13:23

13:36 Because you're going to feel what you feel. It's not something that I can demand that you feel a certain way. But the way you feel, you can be aware of. And that awareness of the feeling, of self-consciousness, that awareness then is the Buddha knowing, Report an error in the passage at 13:36 Highlight the passage at 13:36

14:03 The self-consciousness, embarrassment or whatever it might be, is then seen in terms of what it is. It is a condition that arises and ceases. Self-consciousness is not a permanent state. It has no real substance to it. But it is an energetic experience, undeniably, the sense of self-consciousness. Consciousness or embarrassment is like this. And that's what we call awareness, sati sampatanya, mindfulness, awareness, Report an error in the passage at 14:03 Highlight the passage at 14:03

14:48 apprehension, apperception, a natural way of receiving experience without attaching to it or identifying with it anymore. Report an error in the passage at 14:48 Highlight the passage at 14:48

15:02 So in this simple teaching of the Buddha, is the... The problems around suffering are, we learn from that. We begin to see the cause, the causes of suffering and the cessation of suffering. We can realize non-suffering as reality, not as some unattainable goal that I hope to achieve by practicing hard through being a Buddhist monk, because then that is all based on my personal... Report an error in the passage at 15:02 Highlight the passage at 15:02

15:51 I can be aware, awareness of the feeling of separateness, of being a person is like this. this is called reflection. You're reflecting on the way it is. Report an error in the passage at 15:51 Highlight the passage at 15:51

16:07 other words, you're observing, investigating, noticing, paying attention. Report an error in the passage at 16:07 Highlight the passage at 16:07

16:14 way it might be in its quality good bad or indifferent, whether it's high or low, pure or impure, or good or bad, or whatever, Report an error in the passage at 16:14 Highlight the passage at 16:14

16:29 Trust in the awareness of it. It is what it is. that awareness then, as you recognizing the power of awareness, the purity of awareness. Report an error in the passage at 16:29 Highlight the passage at 16:29

16:48 the stability of awareness. Report an error in the passage at 16:48 Highlight the passage at 16:48

16:56 Nature of the body or the emotional habits or the thinking mind, then it is seen in terms of anicca dukanata. All conditions are impermanent. All conditions are anattā. You can't find any permanent essence or separate self or soul in any conditioned experience. The ultimate reality is realized through awareness. Report an error in the passage at 16:56 Highlight the passage at 16:56

17:28 That's why I start off with the true nature is perfect. Now those are words too. Perfection is complete. Nothing needs to be added or taken away. It's whole, complete. And that's your true nature. Report an error in the passage at 17:28 Highlight the passage at 17:28

17:52 Now when you start thinking about it on a personal level, you think, I'm so imperfect. Because the What we see, what we create in consciousness is the personality, attachments to the energies we're experiencing through the senses, through the body itself, the force of habit, the conditioning process. Report an error in the passage at 17:52 Highlight the passage at 17:52

18:21 All the rest is what we regard as our reality, our real world. And that is not the real world. Report an error in the passage at 18:21 Highlight the passage at 18:21

18:35 Now just notice, reflect on this. To start remembering your true nature. The true nature, dharma, is perfect. Now that's not saying I'm perfect. Because when I say I, I usually implies me as a separate person. And my personality is not perfect, as you well know. perfect. Report an error in the passage at 18:35 Highlight the passage at 18:35

19:15 If you live with me very long, my personality has all kinds of imperfections and is changing depending on all kinds of other conditions. For me to be happy, a happy person, good natured, jolly, smiling, attentive, caring, it takes certain conditions for that to arise. Then my personality can change if the conditions aren't right. Report an error in the passage at 19:15 Highlight the passage at 19:15

19:48 Become grumpy, moody, self-centered, leave me alone, don't bother me, and so forth. And then it goes through various, those are the two extremes. Can be just indifferent, don't care anymore, bored, fed up. Report an error in the passage at 19:48 Highlight the passage at 19:48

20:14 But these are conditions that arise and cease in consciousness. So then I ask myself, Do I want to take refuge in all that changing stuff? There's no end to it. And it's so dependent, you know, on conditions. If I'm going to be a happy, jolly, good-natured man, then I've got to always have the conditions that support that. And I can't demand that from this world that we're living in, because the conditions are changing. Report an error in the passage at 20:14 Highlight the passage at 20:14

20:45 And I have no control over that. Conditions change. The weather changes. Seasons change. Report an error in the passage at 20:45 Highlight the passage at 20:45

20:56 Sometimes people praise, sometimes people criticize, love, hate, success and failure and all the rest. These things are a part of everyone's experience on the conditioned plane, on the conditioned realm. Report an error in the passage at 20:56 Highlight the passage at 20:56

21:17 So then the unconditioned has to be recognized as awareness. So that's the gate to the deathless. The aim of our life then is to recognize and cultivate awareness. So we use the tradition, the forms of monastic, of our monastic tradition. Now they're skillful means, they're supposed to be helpful, not supposed to create more problems for you and make your life more difficult. Report an error in the passage at 21:17 Highlight the passage at 21:17

22:03 Yet we can use them like that. We can make monastic life an incredible difficult experience and so many rules and Vinaya and so many, you know, restraints and this and that. We can create all kinds of problems around monastic form and about tradition. But if we tend to see it like that, see it in terms of the critical mind criticizing the tradition or Just, you know, feeling overwhelmed by it, or even getting kind of identified with it. You know, I'm a very sincere, earnest monk, strict with the rules, dedicated to practice. Report an error in the passage at 22:03 Highlight the passage at 22:03

22:50 I can become very arrogant kind of monk, and that's not the purpose. To be arrogant, whether you're a lay person or a monk, is still a form of suffering. Report an error in the passage at 22:50 Highlight the passage at 22:50

23:05 In fact, an arrogant monk's probably more despicable, because they kind of miss the point. In lay life, at least, you know, arrogance does, you know, sometimes that's the way we're conditioned, to be arrogant. But in monastic life, we're here not to identify and attach and become anything, but use learning to awaken. Report an error in the passage at 23:05 Highlight the passage at 23:05

23:41 To reflect, to open and observe the way it is. Now these teachings that we use in Buddhism are very helpful, skillful means if you will use them properly. Report an error in the passage at 23:41 Highlight the passage at 23:41

23:57 They aren't meant to take positions, you know, to form opinions and to get caught up in those quibblings about proper meanings of words and The true Buddhist teaching and all the rest, because that goes on endlessly. You hear people arguing and making all kinds of judgments about Buddhism and other religions. Report an error in the passage at 23:57 Highlight the passage at 23:57

24:27 And that is not when we're caught up in our own personal preferences and our identity with our own tradition. Tradition is a convention that has some kind of continuity in time. Report an error in the passage at 24:27 Highlight the passage at 24:27

24:46 So it does have, you know, it's been a value of a tradition is that it carries on the teaching and the monastic conventions through time. Otherwise, wisdom tends to, you know, if it's not, if one doesn't develop some kind of conventional form, it tends to be forgotten. We get carried away with all the worldly Report an error in the passage at 24:46 Highlight the passage at 24:46

25:17 opportunities. Report an error in the passage at 25:17 Highlight the passage at 25:17

25:29 in 2,500 years, imagine how many have arisen and Report an error in the passage at 25:29 Highlight the passage at 25:29

25:38 many kings, and emperors, and rulers, and dictators, and tyrants, and... Report an error in the passage at 25:38 Highlight the passage at 25:38

25:48 Psychopathic rulers and revolutions and wars have gone on in 2,500 years all over this planet. Report an error in the passage at 25:48 Highlight the passage at 25:48

25:58 And yet, this convention still manages to survive all that. It's always impressed me. You know, it's been able to kind of endure through, because in Buddhist countries, they go through the same processes. If you study the history of Buddhism in China, Japan, Thailand, or Sri Lanka or India, wherever, it has its periods where it flourishes and then almost disappears and changes and is forgotten and remembered and so forth. Report an error in the passage at 25:58 Highlight the passage at 25:58

26:33 So it isn't that you can reach a certain point and keep it on the same level of everybody having faith and devotion to the teaching of the Lord Buddha. But obviously there's always been enough. who have sustained that through using that tradition and the convention to make it available to us here at Amaravati on this very day. Report an error in the passage at 26:33 Highlight the passage at 26:33

27:04 Now Report an error in the passage at 27:04 Highlight the passage at 27:04

27:17 I personally found it very helpful to remind myself of the true nature of perfection, of dharma. Report an error in the passage at 27:17 Highlight the passage at 27:17

27:28 And when I say this is my true nature, I don't mean to imply this as some kind of personal Report an error in the passage at 27:28 Highlight the passage at 27:28

27:38 just a remembering. It's this. perfection is recognized through awakened awareness. very simple. not complex or difficult. natural. not a refined state of consciousness that It depends on very refined conditions. conditions supporting it. Report an error in the passage at 27:38 Highlight the passage at 27:38

28:09 But we can always rest in whatever's happening, whether it's on a battlefield or in an ashram. Report an error in the passage at 28:09 Highlight the passage at 28:09

28:23 But we forget it. We become caught in our emotional reactions to the wars, to the problems, to the society, to the people that we live with, the relationships we have, our own sense of self-worth as a person. Report an error in the passage at 28:23 Highlight the passage at 28:23

28:44 Our age, our appearance, what we look like, and so forth, we are so caught up, so overwhelmed and blinded by all these conditions, that the aim of the holy life, then, is to simplify. So, actually, the monastic forms, even though they might seem complicated at first, they're actually leading towards simplicity. Report an error in the passage at 28:44 Highlight the passage at 28:44

29:13 Not to make everything more complicated, but to simplify. I've found in my own experience as a Buddhist monk that everything moves towards simplicity. Report an error in the passage at 29:13 Highlight the passage at 29:13

29:28 When I first started out as a new monk, it all seemed so complicated. I was a bit overwhelmed by it all. You know, trying to remember all these rules and... Report an error in the passage at 29:28 Highlight the passage at 29:28

29:46 What kinds of things, you know, that you have to learn in the beginning and it seemed, you know, like I was complicating everything. I felt, you know, like I was being suffocated by it. Report an error in the passage at 29:46 Highlight the passage at 29:46

30:05 And my personality would react too much and I'd complain about it and feel suffocated. But the skillfulness of the teacher was to Get me to look at this. Why do you suffer, tomato? What's the cause of this suffering? Well, it's too many rules, too many this, that. Report an error in the passage at 30:05 Highlight the passage at 30:05

30:33 But then, something in me would wake and think, that's not it. Listen to that complaining mind, you know, I can't do it, it's too much. And that awareness, that's awareness to listen and to recognize that Report an error in the passage at 30:33 Highlight the passage at 30:33

30:58 Right now, this feeling, these thoughts are like this. They're the way they are. And then through trusting in the awareness, you find an increasing strength in it. It has a continuity. It's a natural state. Report an error in the passage at 30:58 Highlight the passage at 30:58

31:18 At first, I connected it with a very controlled situation, you know, like a complete quiet, silence. You had to sit still and concentrate your mind. And stop your thinking process in order to really be mindful. In fact, the first way I learned was a technique where you do everything in slow motion. So my first impression was that you had to live in slow motion to be mindful, Report an error in the passage at 31:18 Highlight the passage at 31:18

31:54 because I connected the technique with mindfulness. But then it, you know, I began to, as I, because mindfulness is natural, not a created state. Report an error in the passage at 31:54 Highlight the passage at 31:54

32:13 When I try to be mindful, when I think I've got to be mindful, then I'm creating myself into somebody that's trying to be mindful. But if I just trust in this awareness, the ability to observe, witness, notice, pay attention to the way it is, then this is sustainable. It's a natural state. And it's not asking the world to be quiet for me and life to be... Report an error in the passage at 32:13 Highlight the passage at 32:13

32:44 and supportive to me so that I feel safe and secure, but it allows me to adjust, to cope, to adapt to the changing conditions that inevitably are experienced in this human form. Report an error in the passage at 32:44 Highlight the passage at 32:44

33:15 I'm making it sound very simple, and it's simple but easy. Recognize that we're not, you know, our personalities are not simple. Report an error in the passage at 33:15 Highlight the passage at 33:15

33:27 Very complicated, usually. In the West, we've become very neurotic. And what I mean by neurotic is that we're from a culture that's neurotic. I'm not saying that it's something abnormal. It's kind of ordinary to be neurotic because we live in a neurotic society. And what do I mean when I use this word neurotic? I'm using my own definitions of it. Report an error in the passage at 33:27 Highlight the passage at 33:27

34:00 We're complicating everything. Things aren't just what they are or even the ordinary instinctual human energies that we have are then we add more onto it. A strong sense of self-identity and criticism. So in our modern life we create. We come from We have this idea of how life should be as an ideal. And then how I should be as a person if I were an ideal person, an ideal man. Report an error in the passage at 34:00 Highlight the passage at 34:00

34:41 And then I look at the way I am and I can only feel critical most of the time because it never fits into this ideal that I have of what I should be. Report an error in the passage at 34:41 Highlight the passage at 34:41

34:57 So we abuse ourselves, we criticize ourselves, we disparage ourselves. We hold ourselves in so many kind of complicated ways, comparing ourselves with others, with ideals, in terms of our worth, our importance or lack of it. Report an error in the passage at 34:57 Highlight the passage at 34:57

35:22 So that's why it becomes increasingly more complicated the more you remove yourself from just the natural forces of living, of survival. of love and hatred. These are natural kind of emotions. Greed, sexual desire, anger, jealousy, fear. These are kind of normal, natural emotions to the human condition. These are, you know, then we see in terms of we shouldn't have them. Report an error in the passage at 35:22 Highlight the passage at 35:22

36:01 We shouldn't feel greed, jealousy, fear. Shouldn't get angry. We should love everybody. At least that's my background. I wanted to be a perfect person and feel this love and these grand feelings, these noble feelings for everything and everybody. Unconditioned love. And be totally fair and just and compassionate of the ideal. Report an error in the passage at 36:01 Highlight the passage at 36:01

36:38 But then, On a personal level, I seldom felt like that. Self-centered, angry, frightened, greedy. Shouldn't be greedy. Angry, shouldn't be angry. Lustful, shouldn't be lustful. Report an error in the passage at 36:38 Highlight the passage at 36:38

37:03 So then the sense of oneself is an experience of failure, of criticism, of disparagement. So in meditation now, there's a sense of Our true nature is perfect. Report an error in the passage at 37:03 Highlight the passage at 37:03

37:27 And that is, I'm offering that as a mirror for you to witness your own feeling of imperfection, of not being worthy. Because when I say this, what does your reaction do? When I say your true nature is perfect, perfectly pure, deathless. Report an error in the passage at 37:27 Highlight the passage at 37:27

37:51 And then how do you emotionally react to that when I say that? Just notice. Doubt? Do you agree? Disagree? Do you like the idea? Or, you know, I couldn't dare think like that. Or what? Just notice the way that when I make this statement, say this. Report an error in the passage at 37:51 Highlight the passage at 37:51

38:22 Or what if I said the opposite? You're all a bunch of sinners, worthless, hopeless cases. You were born in sin. Your true nature is impure. There's nothing you can do about it. Over. Report an error in the passage at 38:22 Highlight the passage at 38:22

38:40 There's no such thing as enlightenment, no way out of suffering. Report an error in the passage at 38:40 Highlight the passage at 38:40

38:47 Life is hell. Report an error in the passage at 38:47 Highlight the passage at 38:47

38:56 Now sometimes it seems like that, I admit, on a personal level. But that's seeming, that's how it feels sometimes personally, but that's not how it really is. And so in a religion, the aim is to remind us of our true nature. So that's what... When we take refuge in Buddha Dhammasanga, these words, Buddha Dhammasanga, these three refuges, are not ideas to grasp or define, but they're helping you to notice, to awaken. Report an error in the passage at 38:56 Highlight the passage at 38:56

39:45 You say Buddha, you can say, well, you know, are there any Buddhas now? Are there any Buddhas in Thailand? or, uh... No, this is not the time. There are no Buddhas now. There are just Arahants. Are there any Arahants? I don't think so. Sotapannas? Probably not. Just a bunch of hopeless Butuchanas. Report an error in the passage at 39:45 Highlight the passage at 39:45

40:22 Butuchana means unawakened, unenlightened, self-centered individual human being. Now if one wants to settle for that, But that doesn't help, isn't it? Once you settle for that one, you're stuck. And life isn't going to help you out of it. It's just going to get worse as you get older. So, just survival and intuition tells me this other approach is more useful. Report an error in the passage at 40:22 Highlight the passage at 40:22

41:04 Now, if my true nature is perfect and pure, I'm Report an error in the passage at 41:04 Highlight the passage at 41:04

41:11 not grasping that as some definition of me as a person. I start thinking, what does that really mean in the here and now? What is the purity, the perfect perfection of this conscious moment now? Report an error in the passage at 41:11 Highlight the passage at 41:11

41:33 And whatever you think, it's not that. It's not a thought. You can't define it. It's not something that's changing or moving. And that which doesn't change or move, you can't find anything that doesn't. But you can recognize the stillness, the steadiness, the stability of awareness. Report an error in the passage at 41:33 Highlight the passage at 41:33

42:04 Because that is natural. It's not dependent, not created, not personal. Report an error in the passage at 42:04 Highlight the passage at 42:04

42:14 And it's recognizable, realizable. You can't find it as a thing. That's why when you think about it and grasp an idea of it and try to find the deathless or nibbāna or... or ultimate truth or the unconditioned, you're not going to, you know, you're going to end up as an agnostic or as a humanist or a communist or something else. Report an error in the passage at 42:14 Highlight the passage at 42:14

42:44 Atheist? Because when you try to find things, like trying to find God as something, as a thing, as something you can find and And hold up and say, this is it. And test in a laboratory. You're never going to win. You can't do it that way. Report an error in the passage at 42:44 Highlight the passage at 42:44

43:11 The only possibility we have is not through searching and finding, but through awakening and recognizing reality. Report an error in the passage at 43:11 Highlight the passage at 43:11

43:27 So that's why Buddhism is named after the Buddha. Because that word itself means awakened. Consciousness. Now each one of you, as an individual entity, is conscious at this moment. It's a natural state, isn't it? Everyone, who's not conscious? Anyone? So consciousness is a natural state of being. You don't create it, but Report an error in the passage at 43:27 Highlight the passage at 43:27

44:06 then you create your personality into it. So it's conscious moment, I am Ajahn Sumedho. Then that's something I'm creating. But if I stop creating anything and just pay attention, listen, reflect, Report an error in the passage at 44:06 Highlight the passage at 44:06

44:30 notice, observe, then there's consciousness and awareness. It's recognizable. It's this. Report an error in the passage at 44:30 Highlight the passage at 44:30

44:45 It's simple. Report an error in the passage at 44:45 Highlight the passage at 44:45

44:50 And then the complexities come through thinking, Report an error in the passage at 44:50 Highlight the passage at 44:50

45:00 conditioning, I become a complicated personality. that's why in the, this winter retreat, three month winter retreat, this is a really Report an error in the passage at 45:00 Highlight the passage at 45:00

45:18 opportunity to investigate this. know, they've got, though it Awareness doesn't need supportive conditions. Report an error in the passage at 45:18 Highlight the passage at 45:18

45:31 You don't need this winter's retreat to be aware. But it's coming your way and it can be used quite skillfully if you are willing. Report an error in the passage at 45:31 Highlight the passage at 45:31

45:48 Because that's the aim of the retreat, isn't it? Of the forms we're using, the tradition. It's all for developing a confidence in awareness. Report an error in the passage at 45:48 Highlight the passage at 45:48

46:01 It's necessary to recognize it, to know what it is, and to value it, to adore it, to really treasure awareness, so that it is your refuge, and you can then integrate into activity, work, whatever, once you recognize it. Report an error in the passage at 46:01 Highlight the passage at 46:01

46:32 Understand and know it, realize it, then there's no need for even winter retreats or anything else. It's the flow of life is what we learn from. Report an error in the passage at 46:32 Highlight the passage at 46:32

47:03 So I'll leave you with this, hoping it will encourage, I'm trying to encourage you, because we need encouragement. We're too discouraged. Report an error in the passage at 47:03 Highlight the passage at 47:03

47:25 endlessly. the more we try this life to become something or to something out of it, we feel more and more discouraged by it. Report an error in the passage at 47:25 Highlight the passage at 47:25

47:42 other words, monasticism, it's not meant to be successful. Report an error in the passage at 47:42 Highlight the passage at 47:42

47:48 not about becoming and being a successful monk or nun. Report an error in the passage at 47:48 Highlight the passage at 47:48

47:56 if that's how we... You know, what we expect from it, it's going to fail us. And even if I think I'm a successful monk, that's not a very satisfying perception. Report an error in the passage at 47:56 Highlight the passage at 47:56

48:14 Because then somebody will come along and say, no, you're not. And if I'm heedless, then I say, oh, yes, I am, get into an argument. And then, because of my skeptical, downy nature, then somebody says, no, you're not a successful monk, then maybe I'm not. Maybe I've wasted my life. Report an error in the passage at 48:14 Highlight the passage at 48:14

48:33 When I could have been President of the United States. Report an error in the passage at 48:33 Highlight the passage at 48:33

48:49 But we do learn from failure, you know, like all of you know, have been meditating for very long, how, you know, what failure is like. Report an error in the passage at 48:49 Highlight the passage at 48:49

49:00 Trying to get hold of something and attain and then, you know, hold on to it and become a really good meditator and achiever and then failing at it. Why? Report an error in the passage at 49:00 Highlight the passage at 49:00

49:17 Because that's not it. Not it. We're not here to attain or achieve anything, but to awaken and realize. And that's not a matter of success or failure, because Report an error in the passage at 49:17 Highlight the passage at 49:17

49:36 it's not an attainment. It's returning to natural state, remembering the true nature, the perfect, the perfection, remembering, knowing dharma, directly being dharma. In other words, I offer this as a reflection. Report an error in the passage at 49:36 Highlight the passage at 49:36