Kindness to Yourself

0:00 Okay, good evening everyone. I noticed that, you know, most people think that the most painful things in life, losing someone their value, but actually, in fact, that actually the most painful things in life, actually losing ourselves in the process of valuing someone too much. We have forgotten ourselves. We have forgotten. We are also special. You think that, you know, We tend to lose ourselves, and then we've been stressed over things that are beyond our control, and we don't have a moment of peace. Report an error in the passage at 0:00 Highlight the passage at 0:00

0:40 Constantly we get affected by the situation, by what other people do, what other people said. I just remember just recently someone said to me, oh, I've been invited to this party, but I don't feel like I want to go because I really don't like that. Then I said, you don't feel like going? You just said no. Report an error in the passage at 0:40 Highlight the passage at 0:40

0:58 you know, you just, you said sorry. I just want to hurt someone's feelings. I don't know how they feel if I don't go. I said, You live for yourself, you are not living for someone else, isn't it? Your life, the most... What's the point you make everybody happy? You're not happy, you know? Your life, your own life, isn't it? I remember some... I think last year, a couple of years ago, someone also came to me and this person said, I'm going to make something that I have made my decisions, something that I wanted to do, but she has so much fear and anxiety that... Report an error in the passage at 0:58 Highlight the passage at 0:58

1:39 Her decision will cause disappointment. Her parents, I don't want to disappoint my parents. I don't want to disappoint other people. I don't want to disappoint someone that supports me. Then I told her, I said, you're not living for them. You're living for yourself, isn't it? I said, you follow your heart. Report an error in the passage at 1:39 Highlight the passage at 1:39

2:03 you know, you, what, you know, it's, yeah, yeah. You're living for yourself, you're not living for others. This is your life. You do live for others, it's your life, you know. What's the point that your parents, your friends are happy, the things that, you know. Report an error in the passage at 2:03 Highlight the passage at 2:03

2:33 have forgotten ourselves very easily. We always think that Because we think that we are so kind. Yes, it's good to be considerate. It's good that we've been sensitive, how other people feel. Whatever we do, is there any impact on others? Is there any causes, any suffering to others? Yes, it's good to be considerate. Report an error in the passage at 2:33 Highlight the passage at 2:33

2:57 They said there are two kinds of... Sensitivity, you know, usually I used to hear people, you know, oh, I'm coming from retreat. I'm so sensitive. I can't even bear with talking with people that are negative and make me feel sick. Actually, you buy other people's emotion, isn't it? And then so sensitive. And the other side, one sensitivity is come from sense of self. Report an error in the passage at 2:57 Highlight the passage at 2:57

3:26 You're constantly thinking in terms of me and mine, you know, or what other people said, it hurts me, or it makes me not happy. It's all about me. And they're very sensitive. Whatever people say, oh, it's going to hurt me. And the other sensitivity is come from, not come from the sense of self, come from being selfless. Report an error in the passage at 3:26 Highlight the passage at 3:26

3:47 You're being considerate, you know. Am I, whatever I do, is it going to cause suffering to others? And he said, there's cause and there's any impact on others. Actually, it's good to be, that kind of sensitivity is not come from the sense of self, come from big ego. And because sometimes, you know, the bigger the ego you have, the easier you get hurt, isn't it? You know, whatever other people say, you get affected. Report an error in the passage at 3:47 Highlight the passage at 3:47

4:13 Why these people talk about me? I know sometimes people, you know, I know people come to me, they say, I'm so nervous, or I have to give a speech, you know, because they're just constantly, Have so much fear of, because it also comes from the sense of self, how other people think of you, how other people feel, you know, whether they like my talk or whether they like my presentation, you know. Report an error in the passage at 4:13 Highlight the passage at 4:13

4:38 I say, no matter what you do, you know, no matter how good you are, There's always someone don't like you, isn't it? There's always someone don't like you. You cannot please everyone, you know. There's always someone, you know, you cannot please everyone. So normally I tell these people, I say it doesn't matter, you know. I say it's very important that, you know, that no matter what you do, there's always someone. Report an error in the passage at 4:38 Highlight the passage at 4:38

5:08 They will criticize you. The Buddha said no one in this world that you've never been criticized. I remember there was a story about these monks. And one monk said someone visited the monastery and then he'd been talking a lot and then the visitors complained about him that he's talking too much. Then he met another monk. This monk, he just okay, he talk less. And then he said, oh, he talk too little. Report an error in the passage at 5:08 Highlight the passage at 5:08

5:36 And then the other monk, oh, on silent, don't talk. This monk don't talk. Then the Buddha said, you talk too much is also a problem. You talk little also is a problem. Even you don't talk also is a problem. And sometimes we can't. Report an error in the passage at 5:36 Highlight the passage at 5:36

5:57 you know, as long as you know that you're doing, you know, you're being a good person, you're not doing things that are harming others and harming yourself, and it's that, you know, you have to love ourselves, have kindness, loving kindness towards ourselves. And because we very easily get affected by how other people look at us, how other people see us, and because because of of all others those... Report an error in the passage at 5:57 Highlight the passage at 5:57

6:25 Come from the sense of self. And then we allowed the people around us, the situation to control our own happiness. And sometimes we think that we have to change the situation in order to make things better. Sometimes we don't have to, isn't it? We just let it, we just stay. All we need to do is just to change how we look at things. I remember many years ago, I think it was way back in before 2000, I think in 1999 or something like that, long ago. So that's the first time I went to Thailand, you know, to practice, you know. Report an error in the passage at 6:25 Highlight the passage at 6:25

7:07 So the first monastery I stayed, I was staying in one of the nunneries. All the magi stayed there. So then when I go there, we're full of expectations. Very high expectation. Oh, you know, everybody, because this is a Buddhist country, everybody knows dharma. They really, you know, they kind of, everybody practice well, you know. Report an error in the passage at 7:07 Highlight the passage at 7:07

7:28 But of course, because we've had that high expectation and go there, and I find that they're quite superstitious. They do lots of, like, changing luck and they sort of... Or if you're bad luck, so you become a Meiji for two weeks, then you change your luck. Even when the time that ordained as a Meiji also have to have a particular date that you ordained, and then you disrupt also have to pay a particular date that you disrupt. Report an error in the passage at 7:28 Highlight the passage at 7:28

7:59 For me, I said, what is all this? It's all nonsense. It's not dharma, nothing to do with dharma. Of course, then you really... Don't like the, I mean, I don't like the place. Then, of course, sometimes, then when you don't like the place and you started to have this fault-finding mind, you know, and then this is how I start to find fault. Report an error in the passage at 7:59 Highlight the passage at 7:59

8:20 And that's why sometimes when we are not happy with the situation, it's very easily we tend to look at. We tend to focus on things, you know, then we develop that kind of mentality that is for finding mind. Then I noticed myself that, you know, because you have the morning chanting, it's three o 'clock, so three o 'clock is the bell goes, you have to go for chanting. Report an error in the passage at 8:20 Highlight the passage at 8:20

8:50 And then I think some of you in Thailand, you know that normally they chant in... Report an error in the passage at 8:50 Highlight the passage at 8:50

9:17 So slow. The more you think about it slow, it gets slower, isn't it? I feel like all the chanting like running out of battery so slow, you know. I hated that so much. Then morning chanting that is not me. Then of course, because actually, because of the complaining, the thinking about actually draining my mental energy. Report an error in the passage at 9:17 Highlight the passage at 9:17

9:37 Of course, you drain mental energy. Of course, you have no energy, isn't it? When you have no energy, when you meditate, you're sleepy. You know. Report an error in the passage at 9:37 Highlight the passage at 9:37

9:47 I was thinking, I used to be able to meditate very easily, peaceful, and I used to, I mean, I think that I'm a good meditator, you know, I was thinking that my meditation is good, you know, but how come this, then I blame the chanting, too slow, make my meditation no good. Report an error in the passage at 9:47 Highlight the passage at 9:47

10:06 This is how we tend to, very easily, we tend to blame others for our suffering. We don't actually look at what causes the suffering. Actually, I can see, actually, it's my own, the complaining, the mind go on and on and on, that really draining. You know, you're thinking about it, that drain all my energy. Then, I was thinking that, I think this place is not for me. Report an error in the passage at 10:06 Highlight the passage at 10:06

10:29 I have to leave. This is why I plan to leave. Then, actually, I stopped. And at least I still have a bit of wisdom. I started to ask myself. I started to question myself. I said, okay, you think that this place makes you not happy, you're unhappy here. So if you leave, are you going to be happier? Then my answer is no. It's no. Because I realized that if I carry the same attitude, the same mentality, Wherever I go, it's still not happy, isn't it? Because you not change. You only change, you think you change your situation. We tend to change, you know, we tend to change the amount. Report an error in the passage at 10:29 Highlight the passage at 10:29

11:12 We think, oh, we'll be better. I know Ajahn Narada used to talk about changing the deck chair of the Titanic. We change everything. Oh, we think that we are better. But it's not. But we carry the same mentality. Then I realized that. Then I started to see by finding my, just focus on, you know. Then I told myself, no, from today onwards, I'm going to change my perception. Report an error in the passage at 11:12 Highlight the passage at 11:12

11:43 I tried to look for something good. Then I tried to look for the, look at the, actually all the Minchi Dei, they're very nice people, very kind. So I see, oh, they are very kind. They're very nice to me and very compassionate. So I focus on that. Then after that, I was happy. And then I can't speak Thai, but I can chant. My chanting was so good, I can chant very well, you know. Because I start to love the chanting. Report an error in the passage at 11:43 Highlight the passage at 11:43

12:11 I chant so well, morning, no more. This is sometimes how, sometimes we always think that the situation, you know, we worry about how other people look at us. We got influenced, we got affected, you know. But actually, we are in control, not... We allow the situation, we allow the things outside us, we allow the people to control our own happiness. Then I realized that actually the moment when I changed that perception, changed of looking at things, then I find there's many nice things there. Report an error in the passage at 12:11 Highlight the passage at 12:11

12:43 Then I continued to see. Actually, I stayed almost a month. But I left, it's not because I'm not happy. I was happy. But then I just want to, that time is more like my practice, To visit different monasteries, to go to different monasteries, that's my journey. I want to visit different monasteries. But after that, from time to time, I went back there twice. Report an error in the passage at 12:43 Highlight the passage at 12:43

13:11 After that, I also still went back there. I bring my brothers there. I bring some of my friends there. And yeah, after that, I was okay. Then there is that insight I realized actually it's come from me because I can see that immediately I changed and I really, oh, I'm okay. It's not the chanting make me sleepy because of my mind go on and on that really drains all my mental energy. Report an error in the passage at 13:11 Highlight the passage at 13:11

13:38 And very easily we get affected, you know, and it's okay. And people, you know, it's okay that we don't have to make everybody, please everybody, you know, so that they like us. It's okay that people don't like us. It's normal. Even the Buddhas, not all the people like the Buddhas, isn't it? Let alone us, you know, it's okay. Report an error in the passage at 13:38 Highlight the passage at 13:38

14:00 So I used to tell people, it's okay if they think that if... Other people think that you're not good enough for them. But don't worry. You're always good enough for someone. There's someone that thinks that you're good enough. Because you can't please them. And also, if people like you, it's a bonus. But if you love yourself, it's a real prize. Report an error in the passage at 14:00 Highlight the passage at 14:00

14:27 So learn. Because many people, they don't know how to love themselves. Sometimes I find people have a lot of self-hatred. They really don't like themselves. Actually, love yourself, like yourself. It's much more important. Report an error in the passage at 14:27 Highlight the passage at 14:27

14:44 It's good that we're being kind, being helpful. I know in the early days when I just started to practice. Then they say something like, they're kind of... Report an error in the passage at 14:44 Highlight the passage at 14:44

14:52 and then into meditation. I was very hard-served. Because sometimes you think that this is something that is good, you want to share, isn't it? But then I'm too hard-served, people run away from me. Report an error in the passage at 14:52 Highlight the passage at 14:52

15:13 Because people scared of you, because isn't it, because you try to, actually, I come from the, even though the intention was good, but then sometimes, sometimes you scared people, I scared people away because I have too hard cell, you know. Oh, come, you know, I take you, oh, you have no transport, I can't get. Then I realized that, and then I ended up that I, you know, I really stress myself out because of, I'm thinking that I'm kind, you know, I want to help others. Report an error in the passage at 15:13 Highlight the passage at 15:13

15:41 But then, Then I ended up that, because I get into that, I identify myself as a kind and helpful person. Then after that, I started to, very difficult to say no, because I'm always very enthusiastic, you know, helping people, you know. Then of course, people will start to ask favor from me, you know, can you do this and you do that? I'm always like, yes, yes, yes, you know. Then of course, I ended up that I'm so stressed out. Report an error in the passage at 15:41 Highlight the passage at 15:41

16:13 I started to find myself, I can't say no. When someone said to me, oh, can you help me? That actually is too much for me. Actually, deep down, I want to say no. But then, eventually, I still say yes. And then I realized why it's so difficult for me to say no. And I realized that because of deep down that I identify myself as a... Report an error in the passage at 16:13 Highlight the passage at 16:13

16:38 It's come from the sense of self, like I'm a good, I'm a kind person, I'm a good person, I want to help others. So then, if I can't, if I don't help others, then I'm no longer a kind and good person. You know, you don't fit into, don't fit into my identity, my identity of being kind and helpful. But actually, said no, it doesn't mean that we are not kind. Report an error in the passage at 16:38 Highlight the passage at 16:38

17:02 Because we have forgotten kindness also applies to ourselves. It's not only to others. We please everybody, make everybody happy, but we ourselves, we stress ourselves out. Then we are not kind to ourselves. Then I learn, then I can see that. Actually, I struggle so much that eventually I move a first step. Report an error in the passage at 17:02 Highlight the passage at 17:02

17:23 And I find that after the first step, I said, no, sorry that I can't do it. But please, next time you still ask me, maybe next time I can do it. But this time I can't do it. It's just too much for me. But actually, the moment I be able to do that, I find that I'm really free. I no longer hope. Because the holding on. Report an error in the passage at 17:23 Highlight the passage at 17:23

17:45 To the sense of self, the holding on to the identity, that actually there's so much tension is there. Actually, the moment I said no, actually I'm freeing myself, holding on to the sense of self, you know, holding on. I feel so good, you know. That's why sometimes people think that kindness or I have to sacrifice myself. Yes, it's good to be selfless. Report an error in the passage at 17:45 Highlight the passage at 17:45

18:07 It's good to do things, to be of service, to help people, to be selfless. But sometimes selfless doesn't mean that we have to sacrifice ourselves. We have forgotten ourselves. We don't sacrifice ourselves. We have to include ourselves. That's why it's always sometimes the middle way. Yes, we want to help others, but then before helping others, also we have to... Report an error in the passage at 18:07 Highlight the passage at 18:07

18:34 You know our own limitation, how much we can help. Like the Buddha said, before you be able to pull other people out, you get pulled in, you know. You get drawn into other people's problem. You buy in other people's emotion. Then, actually, you're not being kind to yourself, you're kind to others, but you're not kind to yourself. Report an error in the passage at 18:34 Highlight the passage at 18:34

18:56 And then I realized that. And then I have to develop the courage to say no. They say sometimes like, Being kind, it's good to be selfless, it's good to be considerate. But then also sometimes this is how it's the middle where we keep thinking of others, we have forgotten ourselves. That's why constantly we are living for others, we are not living for ourselves, we have forgotten ourselves. That's why the Buddha said that you search through the whole universe. Report an error in the passage at 18:56 Highlight the passage at 18:56

19:27 You can't find anyone that deserves your love. That no other people is ourselves. We tend to forget ourselves. They say sometimes we got affected. It doesn't matter what other people think about us, whether it's good or bad. Anyway, no matter how good you are, Report an error in the passage at 19:27 Highlight the passage at 19:27

19:48 You will still be criticized. So as long as we know that we are a good person, we are doing our best, we do what we can, and we also have to have the wisdom to know how much we can do and know our limitation. Because sometimes if you don't know our limitation, the Buddha said even practice kindness and compassion, also you have to have the wisdom. Report an error in the passage at 19:48 Highlight the passage at 19:48

20:14 No, how much you can give? You can't give what we don't have, isn't it? We can only give what we have. Then I realized that, you know, then I have to actually find it very difficult because of the sense of self that you hold on to. And then eventually I be able to let that go. And they said sometimes that we always constantly get affected. Report an error in the passage at 20:14 Highlight the passage at 20:14

20:43 And then they said when we're so concerned about how other people think of us, that actually they create that anxiety, that fear, so much fear, because sometimes like, yeah, even giving a talk. If I'm really concerned so much whether people like my talks or not, then I'll be very nervous. I'll have anxiety, you know. Report an error in the passage at 20:43 Highlight the passage at 20:43

21:08 That's why people ask me, oh, don't you feel nervous you're giving a talk? No, I said, no, I don't feel nervous. I said, if they don't like it, it's too bad. You know, this is what they get, you know. Report an error in the passage at 21:08 Highlight the passage at 21:08

21:23 I said, I'm doing my best. I do what I can. I do my best. Sometimes it's important. It's okay. Whatever we do, we do it wholeheartedly. Even smallest thing. So we do even small thing. We always do with our big heart. With love, with care. We do it with all we got. But then, we just have to, we just, not too much concern about the result. But normally, we tend to focus on the result, isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 21:23 Highlight the passage at 21:23

22:00 Focus on what the result, how other people feel. It's just that, it's come from, we're concerned about our reputation. When we talk about reputation, it's about who we are, how we try to present, you know? Report an error in the passage at 22:00 Highlight the passage at 22:00

22:16 How we want other people to think of us, isn't it? Our reputation, so we have to present ourselves, we have to perform ourselves, so that how other people look at us, how other people think about us, you know, oh, this person is kind, this person is wonderful, oh, this person good, good dharma talk, oh, very good, you know, you have the kind, you know, and that actually, that actually is very stressful, because that actually is completely, Report an error in the passage at 22:16 Highlight the passage at 22:16

22:46 Beyond control, you cannot control how other people think, think of us, isn't it? There's always someone likes your talk, there's someone that don't like your talk. So it's okay, if you like it, you find it, so you take it with you. If you think that it's rubbish, you throw it into the bin, you know. And that's why I said, I just do my best, you know. Report an error in the passage at 22:46 Highlight the passage at 22:46

23:07 If people can, if they like it, fine, they don't like it, fine, you know. So to me, it's like people... If people benefit and like my talks, to me it's just bonus. If people don't like it, okay, fine. That is part of life, you know. You can't please everybody, you can't make everybody, there's always someone don't like you, that's fine. But we're not easily, you know, allowed the situation to... Report an error in the passage at 23:07 Highlight the passage at 23:07

23:36 To affect us. Sometimes we constantly think that we have to change the situation to make things better. Sometimes we don't have to, we just stay. It's okay. That's why I decided to stay. Then I realized actually it's okay, I decided to stay. That's why we're living for ourselves, be kind to ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 23:36 Highlight the passage at 23:36

23:56 That's why it's important for us to always have time and space for ourselves. Because we tend to, We get drawn in and sucked into all the things happen around us, isn't it? And then very busy. And then sometimes we have forgotten that we also have to be kind to ourselves, have time and space for ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 23:56 Highlight the passage at 23:56

24:21 Because sometimes you're busy, you're working outside. Then, of course, sometimes we need to, sometimes we have forgotten that we have to process, you know, all the emotion. Sometimes people tend not to process the emotion. For example, if you're busy working, you know, working, you know, then sometimes things happen and things that maybe someone said something being nasty to you. Report an error in the passage at 24:21 Highlight the passage at 24:21

24:45 And of course, even though you don't react, but normally we don't react, but... It doesn't mean that it's resolved. Sometimes it's not resolved. We just park it aside, isn't it? We park it aside. But then we leave it. And then it will accumulate. And then we just suppress. Actually, that moment is good not to react. Like the Buddha said, if we are about to say something bad, something nasty to someone, we have to restrain ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 24:45 Highlight the passage at 24:45

25:15 Even we have to clench our teeth also. No, I'm not going to say that. You have to do that, the Buddha said. But then, We cannot just leave it. We have to find time and place, you know, space to process it. But then if we don't process it, it will accumulate. I remember, I know someone that, and this lady, because she come from quite a wealthy family, and then this, because the father have, I think, three wives or four wives, I've forgotten. Report an error in the passage at 25:15 Highlight the passage at 25:15

25:50 And the mother is always very gentle, very soft. And it seems that the mother is okay with the father having another three wives. But then as her mother grew older, then she realized that actually her mother is not okay. Actually, she had lots of anger towards her father. Because she suppressed her emotion. She pretended that, oh, I'm okay. Report an error in the passage at 25:50 Highlight the passage at 25:50

26:20 But actually, she wasn't okay. And then she ended up, she had so much anger. And the older she got, because when we were young, we were able to hold. As we grow older, we can't hold, isn't it? We accumulate, we can't hold. And then they say sometimes, some people like, why the older they grow older, why they become very nasty? Report an error in the passage at 26:20 Highlight the passage at 26:20

26:44 It's not because of the age. It's because there have been a lot of She just pretended that she's okay. Actually, she wasn't okay. And then she was so shocked because she always gives people the impression that she's such a gentle person, kind person. And then she has so much anger because she's been suppressed. That's why we have to find time and place, space, you know, time and space to... Report an error in the passage at 26:44 Highlight the passage at 26:44

27:19 Release that emotion. You have to process it. You have to digest that. You cannot just push it. Yes, when we're out there, when we're at work, when we're in that situation, yes, we don't react. We don't act upon. Because when we react, we act out of anger, we reinforce our underlying tendency of ill will. Report an error in the passage at 27:19 Highlight the passage at 27:19

27:42 Then next time you're getting angrier and angrier. But suppressing is also the same thing. Suppressing is also reinforced. A lot of people don't see that. Yes, that moment you need to do that, but then you cannot just leave it. So you have to process it. I remember another friend also, this lady, she used to bring, when I was still a lay person, she used to bring her mother-in-law that we used to, and we had meditation together. Report an error in the passage at 27:42 Highlight the passage at 27:42

28:11 And then she's very, Very gentle, very soft. And then after a few years, I met this lady that we used to meditate together. And I said, how is your mother? She said, oh, she changed a lot now. As she grows older, she becomes very difficult. Report an error in the passage at 28:11 Highlight the passage at 28:11

28:34 Always very angry, very difficult. Very difficult. I said, no. I said, she gave me the impression that she's a very gentle person. She's very kind. Because you're being suppressed. It's just that sometimes when we suppress our emotion, when to the point that we cannot suppress anymore, it explodes. They say sometimes how people ended up harming someone, even ended up killing someone. And that time, it's really insane because that moment, your mind, you can't keep anymore. Report an error in the passage at 28:34 Highlight the passage at 28:34

29:09 That's why you have to time. That's why we all always have to time, find time and space to process it, to let that out. You cannot just keep it. It's just all the rubbish you put into the bin, and even though you keep pushing, pushing, because we have only one rubbish bin. Report an error in the passage at 29:09 Highlight the passage at 29:09

29:31 To add another rubbish bin, we have to pay another $401 for the bin. Then we said, okay, I think we can. Then sometimes the nuns go and put the, they almost have to go into the bin and step on it. So then everything, but then to a point, no matter you jump into the bin, it's not so full, isn't it? The same thing with our unresolved emotion, you know, that is a point that you can't, you can't, even you try to push it, you can't, you know, that is over, you see overflow. Report an error in the passage at 29:31 Highlight the passage at 29:31

30:00 And then when it's overflow, it can be overwhelming and then we harm others, you know, that's the need to process it. That's why I remember when I was in Thailand, there was a lady, she's a bit crazy, following me everywhere, like a shadow, talking all the nonsense to me. Report an error in the passage at 30:00 Highlight the passage at 30:00

30:17 I was just okay. I restrained myself. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. Even though I was really agitated. I was so agitated. And it really irritated me. But then I controlled myself not to say anything. But then she came to me. Can I sleep with you? I said, in your good day. Oh, that I really exploded. I blasted at her. I said, you crazy woman. Stay away. Report an error in the passage at 30:17 Highlight the passage at 30:17

30:45 Get lost. Don't talk to me. I don't want to talk to you. But then actually the moment I said that, actually I regretted. I know that I shouldn't have said that. But then I made a determination. I said no matter how hard it is, I'm really going to bite back my tongue. I'm going to restrain myself. I'm not going to say anything. But she do whatever to try to make me angry. She do it on purpose. Report an error in the passage at 30:45 Highlight the passage at 30:45

31:14 She do it on purpose. She see me doing something, she say, oh, let me do this. So I let her do. And then if I go and do other things, she will put this thing down and go and I want to do this. And it's really very agitated. It's really very annoying. Because I make the determination, I'm not going to react. Report an error in the passage at 31:14 Highlight the passage at 31:14

31:37 But of course, when I go back, it's difficult. So much anger. I can't meditate. Sit down there. Then I have to learn the process. I have to process that. Then I sit down. And what I did is that I just relax. I just relax my body and just feel how I feel because I can feel my whole body is very tight. Tighten up because of the holding on itself. Report an error in the passage at 31:37 Highlight the passage at 31:37

32:09 Then I relax my body. So it's a way to release my... Because all the emotion actually is manifest into your body. It builds up the tension. And I feel my whole body is so tight. So I just sit there. Just sit there. Stay with that. Relax my body. Just relax and relax. Until you feel peaceful and calm. At least I'm not so agitated. I feel better. Report an error in the passage at 32:09 Highlight the passage at 32:09

32:36 Then after that, only... It takes me a long time before I can really wash my breath. I can't wash my breath. It's too difficult. Then after the meditation, actually I reflect. I reflect on non-self. I reflect on suffering. I reflect on karma. So when I reflect on that, the reflection is always good to be done. Report an error in the passage at 32:36 Highlight the passage at 32:36

33:09 After meditation, because sometimes before meditation, if you try to do reflection, actually it's thinking. Actually it's not reflecting. Because when we are emotional, your mind is not peaceful, you cannot reflect, you cannot contemplate, because your mind is emotional. So you have to, until your mind has become peaceful, then you reflect. And when I reflect on that, yeah, I said that, I started to have that, you know, like, I can see the person suffer, the suffering of others, and then actually have the compassion towards that person. And also I know that actually I don't have to bear the consequences of somebody doing stupid things to me, isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 33:09 Highlight the passage at 33:09

33:56 But if I get upset and angry, then I have to be responsible for my own action. When I reflect on that, actually I let go better. Immediately I am able to let that go easier. But of course, you do it once, doesn't mean that you feel better now. It doesn't mean that it's already let go, not yet. Because the next day, the same thing, the next day, especially if you're working at your workplace, that someone always irritates you, the next day you see the person again. Report an error in the passage at 33:56 Highlight the passage at 33:56

34:30 The moment you see the person, your mind already. Of course, the next day I see the person again, they come again. Sometimes also I did that. When I see that person, I started to feel the agitation, irritation. Okay, I remind myself, okay, calm, calm. Take three deep breaths, okay. Report an error in the passage at 34:30 Highlight the passage at 34:30

34:54 Okay, then I go back, I do that again, again and again. And then actually, it wouldn't go away immediately. They said the Buddha said it's important that you have to, because you have to see it. The Buddha said, To really remove our defilements, that we have certain defilements or these unresolved emotions, actually you have to see it by wisdom. Report an error in the passage at 34:54 Highlight the passage at 34:54

35:27 You have to have enough clarity. Your mind has to be peaceful. Then you'll be able to see that. And the Buddha said you have to see it again and again. Then only... Report an error in the passage at 35:27 Highlight the passage at 35:27

35:38 Gradually, it will drop off. If it's so easy, you do it once, we all got enlightened. So easy, no. Actually, you have to be very patient. You have to do it again and again. So it took me many days. I think it took me almost 10 days to do that. I go back, I have to do that. And then slowly, little by little, the next time I see her, I have less and less agitation. Report an error in the passage at 35:38 Highlight the passage at 35:38

36:02 Less and less. The intensity of the anger getting... Because you have to process, you have to digest the emotion. That's why sometimes it's important that you have to find a place that is quiet and to let that emotion out, to resolve it. Because by suppressing it, actually you get worse. Actually we reinforce a development's growth rather than... Report an error in the passage at 36:02 Highlight the passage at 36:02

36:33 You're getting better. Because yes, when you suppress, you think that it's not there. But it's still there. It's not being resolved. So it's being kind to ourselves. That's very important that we live for ourselves. And it's okay. What other people do, actually... Actually, it's like Ajahn Chah said, we think that they deserve us. Actually, we go and deserve them, isn't it? We want to get involved, you know. I remember there was a lady, she comes to me, she said, oh, each time after meditation, I come back, I come out. Report an error in the passage at 36:33 Highlight the passage at 36:33

37:07 If people have negative energy, I can't talk to them. I feel like I'm vomiting. I say, cannot be. I said, after a retreat, I said, I don't have that experience. I said, normally after retreat, I'm always so peaceful and calm and so happy. I said, even actually sometimes, even last for a few days, you know, the happiness, the joy. Report an error in the passage at 37:07 Highlight the passage at 37:07

37:28 And the people that used to irritate me also, they look even better, you know. And even the food tastes better. You know when you're in good mood, isn't it? Everything looks good, isn't it? And I said, no, you suck into other people's emotions, you buy in. That means if you're positive, you're someone very positive, if your energy is very strong, if your mindfulness is strong, that means if your mindfulness is strong, and then because you have lots of energy, actually you're not so easily affected. Report an error in the passage at 37:28 Highlight the passage at 37:28

38:08 Especially have a strong positive energy. Actually, the other way around. People will inspire you, isn't it? They're affected. Sometimes people like to hang around with some monks. You feel good when you hang around with the people. Like the Buddhists. People like to hang around with the Buddhists because you feel the energy. You feel that kind of... Report an error in the passage at 38:08 Highlight the passage at 38:08

38:35 You know, that makes you feel at ease and at peace when someone has very strong positive energy. It's not the other way around. I said, you buy in. And she thought that because her meditation is so good, that's why I'm so sensitive. But her kind of sensitivities is come from sense of self. Like, oh, you know, this person affect me, that person affect me. She said until that, she said she can't, when she after retreat, she can't see people, she can't talk to people because she feel sick. Report an error in the passage at 38:35 Highlight the passage at 38:35

39:07 I said, that is something wrong with you. I said, I never experienced that. I said, the other way around. I said, full of energy. Isn't that after retreat, you should be full of energy. Isn't that when you full of energy, you full of joy and happiness. So I said that it's not, you know, that sometimes it's important that, you know, that we always find time for ourselves to be kind to ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 39:07 Highlight the passage at 39:07

39:29 So we have to resolve that. Of course, we restrain ourselves. We don't react, you know. We don't say something that is, you know, nasty to others, harming other people's feelings. But then... But then also we have to look after ourselves. They said, don't lose ourselves. Sometimes people think that being kind, that means I have to sacrifice myself. Report an error in the passage at 39:29 Highlight the passage at 39:29

40:00 The Buddha doesn't encourage us to sacrifice ourselves. We always include ourselves. So we are living for ourselves. We are not living for others. No matter what other people said, remind ourselves that none of my business. Report an error in the passage at 40:00 Highlight the passage at 40:00

40:17 Nothing to do with me. They can say whatever they like. And sometimes I find that actually it takes years of practice. People say, how come? I said, it takes me years of practice, you know, over 20 over years of practice. It's not that I just come to this point like that, you know. It takes me over 20 over years of practice, you know. Of course, I got affected. I remember when I was Anagarikas, you know, I got affected. I go back, ooh. Report an error in the passage at 40:17 Highlight the passage at 40:17

40:45 I lost my self-pity. Why these people do that to me? But that takes me, you know, you learn again and again, you see that you get yourself, you know, you suffer, and then you learn to let go little by little, little by little. That's why now I say I don't care. That's why I never, I tell you, I never look at all the comments about my talk. Report an error in the passage at 40:45 Highlight the passage at 40:45

41:10 I just don't care whether they like it or not. I say, sorry, this is what you get, you know. The same thing, I told, I told, I told, I even, I always tell my nuns, I say, okay, I'm doing my best, I tell to, I do my best, and my job is to help to keep the nuns in groups, you know, to help them, to support them, to encourage them, to keep going. Report an error in the passage at 41:10 Highlight the passage at 41:10

41:38 But then, that's all I can do. But the rest, you say, have to practice also, isn't it? You also have to practice, you know. I can't practice for you, you know. The same thing, other people cannot live our life, isn't it? We have to live our life, so we have to practice, we look after ourselves, you know. That's why I look after myself, you know. That's why I keep telling people, actually look after ourselves is also being kind to others, especially for us, we are living in a community. Report an error in the passage at 41:38 Highlight the passage at 41:38

42:05 So if we look after ourselves, so we're being kind. To others, because if we don't look after ourselves, other people have to look after us. Then we become a burden to others. That's why I try not to be a burden to others, you know. And that's why when my doctor said, oh, you're overweight, you have to lose weight, then I exercise on diet. Report an error in the passage at 42:05 Highlight the passage at 42:05

42:31 Actually, I don't really bother how I look by appearance, you know, come to this age. I'm no longer young, I don't really care. But it's not because I really care how my appearance, because... My GP said, if you don't look after yourself, it's not reversible, isn't it? When you get other illness, then he said, you're overweight, you have to reduce weight. Report an error in the passage at 42:31 Highlight the passage at 42:31

43:01 But I find that it's good. When I reduce, when I do it, I started to exercise, I touch on diet, and I feel even with my allergy, I feel better and become more energetic. I feel good. Because for me, it's like, for me, that I look after myself, I don't want to be a burden to the community. Because when I'm sick, then they have to look after me, isn't it? Then at least I look after myself, I do my best. Of course, eventually, if I still get sick, then too bad, isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 43:01 Highlight the passage at 43:01

43:37 But at least I know that I have done my bit, you know. They said life is like that, we can only do our best, we do our part. So other... Then we do our part. At least we know that we have done that. Okay, that's it. But then at least we know that we have done our part. And then that's all. But at least we put an effort. Because I was thinking, yeah, it's true. Because if I'm overweight, if I have a fall, they can't even carry me. Report an error in the passage at 43:37 Highlight the passage at 43:37

44:10 Too fat. I want to carry me. That's what I told. And I realized that after when I reduced weight, I find that I'm much more lighter. When I clean my toilet, I can get up very easily. Then I told them, oh, I didn't realize how fat I was, you know, until I reduced. Until I gone down, you know, until I reduced the weight, you know. Report an error in the passage at 44:10 Highlight the passage at 44:10

44:36 Imagine. I lost 17 kilos. Imagine, I carried 17 kilos with me. How heavy my body was. Then I told, oh, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't aware how fat I was until I reduced my weight. This is always, sometimes also, it's also being kind to myself, you know, looking after myself and also It's also being kind to others, not to be a burden to others. Sometimes we think that I have to look after everybody, but then I don't look after myself. Report an error in the passage at 44:36 Highlight the passage at 44:36

45:16 But then actually I'm not being kind to myself, isn't it? Also not being kind to others. So they say it's always being kind to ourselves, not to forget ourselves. We are not living for others, we are living for ourselves. So I thank you for listening. Report an error in the passage at 45:16 Highlight the passage at 45:16

45:37 So, there is any questions or comments? Any questions or comments? I think they have. Report an error in the passage at 45:37 Highlight the passage at 45:37

45:47 Any questions or comments? Anybody? Report an error in the passage at 45:47 Highlight the passage at 45:47

45:55 Okay. Report an error in the passage at 45:55 Highlight the passage at 45:55

45:59 Ajahn Hasapanna, thanks for the really wonderful deep talk. Really wonderful deep talk, yeah. Eddie always, oh, it's a wonderful talk. No, it's a good talk. Yeah. Report an error in the passage at 45:59 Highlight the passage at 45:59

46:13 If people don't look at the comments, if people don't, it's so deep, they don't understand. You're saying the right thing, they don't understand. Report an error in the passage at 46:13 Highlight the passage at 46:13

46:25 Just now you mentioned about when we have problem, it drains our energy and then becomes sleepy. That's so true. Not doing the dharma, oh, why I'm like that, it's a problem. Report an error in the passage at 46:25 Highlight the passage at 46:25

46:43 So knowing a bit of a dharma, we know that this problem comes from the mind. The mind is a forerunner of all things because the mind, you know, it reads the problem, the thing. So what I'm trying to say is, asking, you know, so knowing this, okay, first thing, two things. First thing is, if we can try to, in this practice, to put in positive thoughts, you know. Report an error in the passage at 46:43 Highlight the passage at 46:43

47:09 To lessen the suffering, first thing. And second thing is, if the problem is a bit more severe, we practice patience, tolerance, and understanding. Buddha says it's the highest virtue, everyone should practice it. And wait for the problem to go off. Because impermanence, it will go off too. Report an error in the passage at 47:09 Highlight the passage at 47:09

47:30 Understanding all these things, it lessens our suffering. What do you think? The wiser you are, you suffer less. Yeah. Yeah, true. Because our suffering comes from our ignorance. Report an error in the passage at 47:30 Highlight the passage at 47:30

47:47 We don't know better, that's why we suffer. And when we understand, oh, why we suffer, we tend to suffer unnecessarily. Sometimes the loss of suffering, we create it, we add on. Report an error in the passage at 47:47 Highlight the passage at 47:47

48:02 Because the easiest way is to blame others for our suffering. you know, days, you know. Report an error in the passage at 48:02 Highlight the passage at 48:02

48:07 That is the easiest way. Can I say just one more thing? Yeah. The thing is Ajahn Hasapanna, not knowing the Buddha's teaching, you know, pre, you know, so it's, oh, why do I feel this way? Then you go and see the doctor, all these things, and then they can't do anything, this thing, they give you all these, you know, like pills, you know, to calm you down, all these things, that's all they do, the thing, you know. Report an error in the passage at 48:07 Highlight the passage at 48:07

48:34 But sometimes, Sometimes it's truly also physical. And sometimes physical also will lead to mental, because sometimes people start to worry about, and then they make it worse. And sometimes it's both physically and mentally sometimes. But sometimes, of course, sometimes it's physical. You need to have medication. Yeah, you need to. Sometimes you're not knowing that you need to have. So once you know this thing, you slowly get off the medication. Report an error in the passage at 48:34 Highlight the passage at 48:34

49:05 And you administrate yourself. Thank you very much. There's a question. Do you Report an error in the passage at 49:05 Highlight the passage at 49:05

49:15 think that mettā meditation helps in these things? Yes, yes, mettā. But of course when you do mettā meditation, you don't think that I'm going to do mettā meditation to overcome my anger or overcome my... It doesn't work that way. You have to come from really genuine, come from your heart that you really mean it. Report an error in the passage at 49:15 Highlight the passage at 49:15

49:37 You really mean that, you know, I'll be well and happy. You really mean it. But not coming from, oh, if I do this, I will, you know. They said sometimes people come to me, oh, when I first do mettā, it's working. But now, when I start to do mettā, it doesn't work anymore. It's not working anymore. It doesn't work anymore. I said, of course, because after that, you have expectation. After that, oh, you know, when you do mettā, you feel good. Report an error in the passage at 49:37 Highlight the passage at 49:37

50:04 Then you don't, you see. It's working, you know, it works, you know, okay, now I do meditation. And then you come with the expectation, so yeah, it works. Sometimes people say, oh, you know, sometimes meditation also will help, also even physical health is also help. But then, of course, if you think that, you know, like my sister, like she used to have migraine, and after she meditated, actually had migraine. Report an error in the passage at 50:04 Highlight the passage at 50:04

50:30 had it gone. But then if she come, but she never thought of meditating, she want to meditate because of she wants to get rid of her migraine. But actually the results of her meditation. But then if you come with that, it doesn't work, okay? Yes. Thank you. So the perception that you spoke of, that's the thing that's got to shift, isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 50:30 Highlight the passage at 50:30

50:59 Yeah. So is that right view? Yeah. The right view comes from the right understanding. That is the wisdom part. They said, the Buddha said that, you know, in Dhammapada, the Buddha said that no, no, no, no, no insight without, no jhāna without isa, no insight without jhāna. So the whole path, you know, you start off with wisdom, the ending also is wisdom. So you have to have a small wisdom, To accomplish the big wisdom, so you have to have some big understanding, that understand that, you know, right view is come from the right understanding. Report an error in the passage at 50:59 Highlight the passage at 50:59

51:40 Like, for example, like we keeping precepts, then we know that our keeping precepts that actually, that... It really benefits us. We are not harming others and we feel good as well. But if you don't have the right understanding, like some people think, oh, I'm keeping precepts so that I'm a goody-goody, I'm a good person because I keep all the precepts. Report an error in the passage at 51:40 Highlight the passage at 51:40

52:02 And then other people not keeping it, they're bad. Then you're not coming from the right understanding. So then actually you will not have the benefit. Report an error in the passage at 52:02 Highlight the passage at 52:02

52:13 The results, you know, of keeping precepts, you know, because you don't have the right understanding because then you tend to judge others, isn't it? Oh, they are not keeping, they are no good, you know. So that's why it's also always have to come from the right understanding. There is a wisdom aspect. And you also spoke about that self-centered aspect as well. Report an error in the passage at 52:13 Highlight the passage at 52:13

52:36 Yes. Because I've been rage-baited before. And then reacted. And I understood that story very well that you said. And it took me a long time to process that. And sometimes I still go back and process it. So what I'm understanding, it's not just a matter of... It's almost like in the space of the meditation, Report an error in the passage at 52:36 Highlight the passage at 52:36

53:11 As you let go more and more, that's when you'll have the change. You can't force it. And it seems to be a self-centered, like it's non-dual. It's not non-duality. It's where you're clinging to your ego as well, even with the comparison that you said. Yeah, yeah. The Buddha talked about the three concepts. Report an error in the passage at 53:11 Highlight the passage at 53:11

53:32 Sometimes even though the three concepts, even we think that we are useless, it's also big ego. This is where we identify who we are. We are good, you know. I'm better than anyone. I'm as good. So when you think that you're as good, then you have to kind of compare. I'm as good. I'm as good. Why you have all the benefits? Why you got the things? Why I can't get it? Report an error in the passage at 53:32 Highlight the passage at 53:32

54:00 This jealousy will come. And that's why the last one, you always think that you're not good enough. And there is also three. The conceit is also sense of self. But it's okay. If we don't have sense of self, we are not here. So it's fine. But it's good that we see that. And then we see that this really causes the suffering. When I started to practice, I started to see more and more. Each time when I investigate, when I look into it, it's never outside my sense of self that causes me suffering. Report an error in the passage at 54:00 Highlight the passage at 54:00

54:35 I see that it's a problem, it's always come from that. So Report an error in the passage at 54:35 Highlight the passage at 54:35

54:44 this is just an observation I've had, but that whole process of ego, the I'm this, I'm that, it seems to also work in the other direction when like, You know, this person is this, this person is that, and I'm just wondering if I've got the right idea about it, because the categorization on both sides, it's very limiting. If it's like, I'm a good person because I don't do this, it's like, is that all your goodness is rooted in? Report an error in the passage at 54:44 Highlight the passage at 54:44

55:09 And then it's like, if this person's a bad person because they've done this, it's like limiting them to just that one aspect. And I think that's kind of the categorization on both sides is kind of what really seems to be unifying both of those issues. Report an error in the passage at 55:09 Highlight the passage at 55:09

55:24 Even that also comes from our sense of self, because sometimes we feel better, our sense of self, like, you know, oh, this person is not as good. Sometimes people like negative news, oh, you see, they're also not as good, you know. And then this somehow feeding, you know, feeding our sense of self, our ego, you know, you see, they're also not as good, you know. Report an error in the passage at 55:24 Highlight the passage at 55:24

55:46 Actually, it's feeding our sense of self, that it also comes in terms of our sense of self, even we think about. We judge others. Actually, it also comes from our sense of self. We feel good. Yeah, because that very much sounds like it's not like you're actually interacting with the person in front of you. Report an error in the passage at 55:46 Highlight the passage at 55:46

56:06 It sounds like it's a construction. It's who that is in your mind rather than... Yeah, you're right. Okay. Report an error in the passage at 56:06 Highlight the passage at 56:06

56:18 So this is the question. our... we feel good. Report an error in the passage at 56:18 Highlight the passage at 56:18

56:23 So this question is, desire is little blameworthy, fades away slowly, aversion is very blameworthy, and fades away quicker, and delusion is very blameworthy, and fades away slowly. How to apply this addiction? So I think this is what he said, like the Buddha said, like desire is less blameworthy, but then it's... Report an error in the passage at 56:23 Highlight the passage at 56:23

56:52 difficult to remove. And aversion is very blameworthy and it fades away quicker, that is removed quicker. And delusion is very, very, very blameworthy and it fades away. I think actually this is what the Buddha said. The Buddha said desire is less blameable. But it's difficult to remove. And anger is blameable, but it's easy to remove. Report an error in the passage at 56:52 Highlight the passage at 56:52

57:35 Delusion is very blameable and it's very difficult to remove because the desires and aversion come from delusion. That is the root. To break the link, because of the delusion, we don't see that as non-self. That's why we need the link. So that's why to be able to break that, you have to break the delusion. Then you have to have the clarity to be able to see that. Report an error in the passage at 57:35 Highlight the passage at 57:35

58:06 Because we all have lots of blind spots, we can't see. We are not perceiving things as they truly are because we have the five entrances. Report an error in the passage at 58:06 Highlight the passage at 58:06

58:18 That's undermined. We can't see. And they said it's because of aversion, anger. Anger is a secondary emotion. It's not the primary emotion. It's a cause. You'll be able to see. When you get angry, you'll be able to see. But desires, it's because the anger also comes from desires. Report an error in the passage at 58:18 Highlight the passage at 58:18

58:45 Because you crave for things, you can't get it, you get upset. You can't get what you want, you get angry. And it's not the root, but they are not the cause. But that is just a secondary emotion. That's why it's easy to see as well. We don't want to be an angry person, isn't it? To be able to see that, you know, easy. Report an error in the passage at 58:45 Highlight the passage at 58:45

59:09 But desire is much subtle. Of course, delusion is even more subtle. Because the more subtle it is, the more difficult to see. They said delusion is very blameable. They said it's more difficult. Because we can't see when we are deluded, isn't it? We can only see we were deluded. It's just Ajahn Chah said, writing on the horse, and then you try to find where is the horse. Because we are in it. We are deluded. Report an error in the passage at 59:09 Highlight the passage at 59:09

59:45 You can't see, isn't it? You're deluded, you can't see. They said the Buddha said it's very blameable, it's typical. You know, you're already in it, how can you see? You can only see when we were deluded. We can't see when we are deluded, we can't see. Because we are deluded, we are in it, you can't see. Report an error in the passage at 59:45 Highlight the passage at 59:45

1:00:04 They said this is, What this means, because it comes from the inner and comes from delusion. So, dear member sister, please teach us how thinking about death makes us energetic in everyday practice of Triple Gem. Okay. Yes, because when you practice mindfulness on death, and because it also reminds you that you become more appreciative. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:04 Highlight the passage at 1:00:04

1:00:34 Because it's appreciative that you don't know whether tomorrow you'll be still alive. And then actually I find it very useful. Then you don't waste so much time. If you know that you might die anytime, do you still waste time worrying about things that are going to happen two years or three years ago? So you're just okay, you're just happy. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:34 Highlight the passage at 1:00:34

1:00:53 You feel blessed that you're still alive. You're still blessed that each day is a blessing. Every morning you get, ah, it's a blessing. I'm still alive. I'm still able to practice. That's why you become, actually it's helped you to do, it's more positive. You become more appreciative and also grateful. Have lots of gratitude, the fact that I'm still alive. And that's really helped you become more energetic. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:53 Highlight the passage at 1:00:53

1:01:20 I find it very useful because when my father and my brother passed away, one after another, after three months, That really hit me so much. Every morning when I get up, I feel so blessed. Oh, I have another day. I'm still living. You become so appreciative to you, like so precious. Every day is precious. So actually, then you will not waste time worrying about things. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:20 Highlight the passage at 1:01:20

1:01:50 Sometimes we tend to find things to worry. you know. And then we tend to, as a lot of things actually, all the things happen around us, basically it's none of our business, isn't it? But the problem is, we like to make it our business. Isn't it? Everything is so concerned us, because it's come from our sense itself. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:50 Highlight the passage at 1:01:50

1:02:13 We try to grab it, it's something to do with us. Actually, nothing to do with us, you know? And that's why this is also, also help to, that the energy also come, To arouse the sense of urgency, it also helps to arouse the energy. That's why you feel energetic, because you arouse the sense of urgency. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:13 Highlight the passage at 1:02:13

1:02:34 When you have the sense of urgency, the energy comes, you know, you help to arouse the energy. What if you live with someone who doesn't understand that when you're self-compassionate and doesn't please the other person in the moment, and they become nasty to us? So it's okay. That's why sometimes it's good to always remind yourself that you always forgive. So forgiving others is being kind to ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:34 Highlight the passage at 1:02:34

1:03:02 It's okay. Like the Buddha said, other people being nasty is their problem. It's not our problem. So if people are nasty to you, remind yourself to say, for me, I always said, thank you for giving me the opportunity to practice compassion, practice forgiveness. Then I find out I'm the one who, I'm the winning part. Even though you be nasty to me, I'm still win because I practice, help me to practice compassion, help me to practice forgiveness. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:02 Highlight the passage at 1:03:02

1:03:36 Then I'm the one who benefit. You be nasty to me, but I'm the one who benefit. They say sometimes it's up to us whether we want to allow. Report an error in the passage at 1:03:36 Highlight the passage at 1:03:36

1:03:49 The things that happen to us, how other people treat us, to tear us down, or we use that to transform, to grow, to our wisdom, to make our life happier, become wiser, how to learn to transform that, rather than to allow things to tear us down. But then we make use of that. To transform that, to grow, to make us grow, and to make us a better person. Isn't it? Report an error in the passage at 1:03:49 Highlight the passage at 1:03:49

1:04:26 You practice forgiveness, you practice compassion, isn't it? You become a happier person, a more compassionate person, kinder person, and then we have the good qualities. And these good qualities, you will never lose all these good qualities. Because when we die, We can't take anything with us, but all the good qualities we will take with us will stay with us. So questions from USA. Report an error in the passage at 1:04:26 Highlight the passage at 1:04:26

1:04:58 When should I just let go of thoughts and feelings of loneliness, anxiety, self-doubts using kindfulness versus when I should change my attitude to what I am experiencing by thinking? So sometimes the... Report an error in the passage at 1:04:58 Highlight the passage at 1:04:58

1:05:17 Should I let go of thoughts? Actually, the thinking, because the thinking normally, those negative thoughts, thinking about the negative things, will always lead to the lack Report an error in the passage at 1:05:17 Highlight the passage at 1:05:17

1:05:37 of thoughts and feelings of anxiety. Self-doubts and using kindfulness versus why should I change my attitude? When should we change the attitude? Report an error in the passage at 1:05:37 Highlight the passage at 1:05:37

1:05:52 Actually, the change of attitude is also, you have to be able to see that. If you can't see that, you can't change, you don't see where is your problem. That's that first of all, you have to be able to catch yourself that, you know, you get sucked in, you know, you'll be able to see that. So first of all, you have to be able to recognize that. Report an error in the passage at 1:05:52 Highlight the passage at 1:05:52

1:06:14 So you can't just let go, you know, because you also don't know what to let go of, you know. First of all, you have to recognize things that you're holding on to, the things that causes you suffering, you have to recognize that. And then sometimes we recognize that, but sometimes we cannot, you have to be able to acknowledge that. Sometimes you see that, oh, we have this unwholesome, you know. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:14 Highlight the passage at 1:06:14

1:06:40 And qualities. Then sometimes we are unable to acknowledge that. We acknowledge that this is what happening. And you acknowledge that and be able to accept that it's okay. This is how I feel. It's okay to be lonely. It's okay that I have self-doubt. It's okay that we have this negativity. Because this is how, again, we identify this as bad. Report an error in the passage at 1:06:40 Highlight the passage at 1:06:40

1:07:06 That is the problem. We identify, you know, this is a bad quality. This is an unwholesome quality. Because we identify all those unwholesome state of mind, that unwholesome thoughts as this is mine. Because we identify with ourselves, that causes the suffering. Then this is where we identify ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:06 Highlight the passage at 1:07:06

1:07:29 Then we recognize that, we accept that, oh, this is, you know, it's just... Talks is being talked. It's not my talk. It doesn't belong to me. And then we forgive. Then only we'll be able to let that go. Sometimes we cannot let go if you can't see that. For example, the moment I see that this causes me suffering, then I change my attitude. Report an error in the passage at 1:07:29 Highlight the passage at 1:07:29

1:07:55 Before that I can't see. If you can't see, you cannot change. Only when you see it, only you can change. You can't see how to change. You don't even know. That's why someone said to me that if everything is conditioned, so then I can't even make my own choice. I've been conditioned. All the advertisements said this is good for you. We've been brainwashed all the time. Then how am I going to come out of it? Report an error in the passage at 1:07:55 Highlight the passage at 1:07:55

1:08:23 So I said, you can't. I said, because until you can be able to see that. You know, until you're able to see you're being conditioned. If you're unable to see that, it's just like when you're deluded. You can't see, isn't it? Until when you're able to remove yourself, you see it, then only you're able to change. That's why if you want to change your attitude, you know, your thinking, first of all, your mindfulness has to be strong enough to be able to have enough clarity to see this is the problem. Report an error in the passage at 1:08:23 Highlight the passage at 1:08:23

1:09:00 If you can't see, you cannot change. change so first of all you have to develop the clarity first that you are mindful enough you be able to catch oh you know this is this is this is coming from myself then only you can change so so so if you'll be able to see that then only you can change you know it's not that you know Report an error in the passage at 1:09:00 Highlight the passage at 1:09:00

1:09:23 So there is not like a particular time after this, you know. Actually, like sometimes, for example, some of the things we don't understand, isn't it? And then the moment we see it, we say, oh, I got it, you know. Then you know that you will get it, you know. They say sometimes you don't have the particular time when, you know. When that is the right time, you will see it, you see it, you know. That's when you have enough clarity, you'll be able to see it. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:23 Highlight the passage at 1:09:23

1:09:52 Then if you'll be able to see it, then you'll be able to change. I think, any more questions or comments? No more questions or comments? So thank you for tonight. Thank you for coming. Report an error in the passage at 1:09:52 Highlight the passage at 1:09:52

1:10:10 We just do the arahant. Report an error in the passage at 1:10:10 Highlight the passage at 1:10:10

1:10:21 Satsang with Mooji Satsang with Mooji Satsang with Mooji Supatipanam bhagavato savakasanghum sangkang namah Report an error in the passage at 1:10:21 Highlight the passage at 1:10:21