Zazen Sits Zazen for the Welfare of the World

0:00 This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Report an error in the passage at 0:00 Highlight the passage at 0:00

0:15 Good morning. I'd Report an error in the passage at 0:15 Highlight the passage at 0:15

0:26 like to begin this morning by just simply sitting together for a couple of moments, just settling here together in this space. I invite you to allow the eyes to soften. Feel your breathing body. Report an error in the passage at 0:26 Highlight the passage at 0:26

0:51 weight of your body held by your seat. which is held. by the earth. and a force we call gravity. Report an error in the passage at 0:51 Highlight the passage at 0:51

1:15 ball of earth. Report an error in the passage at 1:15 Highlight the passage at 1:15

1:21 suspended by who knows what in space. Report an error in the passage at 1:21 Highlight the passage at 1:21

1:32 Don't miss the space. Report an error in the passage at 1:32 Highlight the passage at 1:32

· · · silence, 1 minute

2:08 Welcome and thank you all for being here. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Nyokai Kristin Diggs, former resident of this temple. I lived and practiced here for several years, as well as in the other San Francisco Zen Center temples, and Report an error in the passage at 2:08 Highlight the passage at 2:08

2:32 spent so many hours in this space, in this zendo, looking at my mind, studying the self. Report an error in the passage at 2:32 Highlight the passage at 2:32

2:51 This mind holds the body. In so many ways. And in Zen we practice freeing the mind, freeing the mind from its own false views, views that grip the body. Report an error in the passage at 2:51 Highlight the passage at 2:51

3:10 And we also work from the side of the body, so to speak. We position ourselves physically in ways that enable the mind to settle and disengage from self-cleaning. Report an error in the passage at 3:10 Highlight the passage at 3:10

3:26 And of course the body includes the breath. There's no breathing in addition to the movements of the body that draw the oxygenated air in and expel carbon dioxide, I believe, among other things. Report an error in the passage at 3:26 Highlight the passage at 3:26

3:51 So in Zazen, we inhabit our body in a way that frees the mind of what in Japanese is called un 'i, U-N hyphen I, willful, intentional. Egoic activity in a way that frees the mind of jiriki, self-power. Report an error in the passage at 3:51 Highlight the passage at 3:51

4:22 Jiriki is often translated in English as self-power. So we could say that our sitting practice in Zazen is inhabiting the body in a way that frees the mind from the self. Report an error in the passage at 4:22 Highlight the passage at 4:22

4:41 When we sit upright and balanced, receptive, not trying to bring about any particular experience. Entrusting the sitting entirely to the sitting, then the absence of un-i, willfulness in the mind, frees the body. Report an error in the passage at 4:41 Highlight the passage at 4:41

5:04 And the mind frees the mind, and the body frees the body. The mind and the body are not separate. Report an error in the passage at 5:04 Highlight the passage at 5:04

5:17 Traditionally, it's said that the only right motivation for sitting up here to share the dharma is bodhicitta. The wish to liberate all beings and to devote the fruits of our practice to the welfare of the world. That is my wish and my vow. Report an error in the passage at 5:17 Highlight the passage at 5:17

5:50 And I'm going to begin by assuming that what brings many of you here is the association with this space, with this place of practice, with some nourishing experience, some supportive offering, maybe a feeling of peace. Basic joy, restful simplicity, connection to the people sitting here with you in the room, connection within yourselves. Report an error in the passage at 5:50 Highlight the passage at 5:50

6:31 In the sendo, many, many hours have been spent by many, many people over many years, just coming home, so to speak. In this place of practice, we're supported to return to Report an error in the passage at 6:31 Highlight the passage at 6:31

6:55 To return with all of our attention to what is most near. You might say also what is most dear, what is most true. It's a truth that we need to be able to return again and again to the myriad things, to our complex and difficult and in some ways heart-rending everyday lives with benevolence and fortitude. Report an error in the passage at 6:55 Highlight the passage at 6:55

7:30 I was recently thinking that in Zen, When we take Jukai, when we receive the precepts or we ordain as priests, the vows that we take are vows to observe the precepts. Interestingly, we don't explicitly vow to sit Zazen. That's curious. Report an error in the passage at 7:30 Highlight the passage at 7:30

7:58 However, then I thought, Suzuki Roshi taught that Zazen is precepts practice, that when we sit Zazen, Zazen includes all of the precepts, and in fact it's the best way to observe the precepts completely. Report an error in the passage at 7:58 Highlight the passage at 7:58

8:24 I've been talking a lot about Zazen in recent months, and in recent weeks I've been teaching a class on Report an error in the passage at 8:24 Highlight the passage at 8:24

8:33 the essay, an essay written by the founder of our tradition, Ehe Dogen. Some say it was the very first written teaching of Dogen's, though that first version has been lost. It's an essay by the name of Phu Khang Tzu Tse. I see a Report an error in the passage at 8:33 Highlight the passage at 8:33

9:02 couple of people in my class here today. Thank you for coming. Report an error in the passage at 9:02 Highlight the passage at 9:02

9:11 But anybody who's new, I'm sorry I didn't ask. There's some things we routinely say and ask at the beginning of these talks for good reason, and I forgot this morning. How many of you are perhaps here for the first time or new to Zen? Quite a few. Welcome. Report an error in the passage at 9:11 Highlight the passage at 9:11

9:32 Zazen is the word that we use in this school for our way of sitting. Report an error in the passage at 9:32 Highlight the passage at 9:32

9:40 Sometimes we refer to our way of sitting as, with the Japanese term, shikantaza, or only just sitting, which doesn't mean that sitting is all that we do in Zen, unless by sitting you mean studying the self and observing the precepts, which is most of what we practice. Report an error in the passage at 9:40 Highlight the passage at 9:40

10:05 I'm glad the abbot agrees. Thank you for inviting me. Report an error in the passage at 10:05 Highlight the passage at 10:05

10:13 As practitioners, we're generally not studying the written teachings with a scholarly or academic set of intentions. I'm not a scholar. Report an error in the passage at 10:13 Highlight the passage at 10:13

10:24 Unless, in addition to being a practitioner, one happens to be a Buddhist scholar by profession. As practitioners of Zen, we're studying the teachings in order to study the self, which is our primary concern. Report an error in the passage at 10:24 Highlight the passage at 10:24

10:42 We're looking at the self, this person, and at the same time, Report an error in the passage at 10:42 Highlight the passage at 10:42

10:52 it means to practice for the welfare of all beings. Report an error in the passage at 10:52 Highlight the passage at 10:52

10:57 So we look at our practice through the teachings, and we verify the teachings through our own practice. Report an error in the passage at 10:57 Highlight the passage at 10:57

11:14 often seems to be covered in words. Report an error in the passage at 11:14 Highlight the passage at 11:14

11:20 covered in names, colored by words. What is not words? Report an error in the passage at 11:20 Highlight the passage at 11:20

11:38 What is the language beneath? The words. Report an error in the passage at 11:38 Highlight the passage at 11:38

11:45 You can check in right now. Report an error in the passage at 11:45 Highlight the passage at 11:45

11:50 It's throughout the body, and I think of it in the language of one of our koans in this tradition. It is like hands and eyes throughout the body, ever awake and receptive and responsive. The Report an error in the passage at 11:50 Highlight the passage at 11:50

12:14 founder of this tradition in China, Dongshan, said the meaning is not in the words, the meaning of the teaching. It's not in the words. Yet it responds to the inquiring impulse. It responds to our questions. Report an error in the passage at 12:14 Highlight the passage at 12:14

12:44 In Zen, words can take us just so far, unlike in most every other field of study in our conventional lives. So we're not quite used to this. Report an error in the passage at 12:44 Highlight the passage at 12:44

12:57 There's a line also in Dogen's essay, Fukanzazengi, that reads, cease from practice based on intellectual understanding. understand it. Pursuing words and following after speech and learn the backward step that turns your light inward and illuminates yourself. Report an error in the passage at 12:57 Highlight the passage at 12:57

13:26 So the irony is that words can be and are extremely helpful to a point. Report an error in the passage at 13:26 Highlight the passage at 13:26

13:39 Beyond that point, thinking about the words of the teaching, especially with regard to zazen, becomes an obstruction. Report an error in the passage at 13:39 Highlight the passage at 13:39

13:52 From one perspective, I Report an error in the passage at 13:52 Highlight the passage at 13:52

13:58 could say that Zazen, illuminating the self, learning how to take the backward step and turn the light inward, is learning to take responsibility for our lives, learning to take responsibility for our bodies and minds, Report an error in the passage at 13:58 Highlight the passage at 13:58

14:17 responsibility for how we use our bodies, speech, and mind in our everyday life. Report an error in the passage at 14:17 Highlight the passage at 14:17

14:29 And Fukanzazengi Dogen goes on to say in his instructions for Zazen, do not think good or bad. Do not administer pros and cons. Cease all the movements of the conscious mind, the gauging, measuring, and assessing of all thoughts and views. Report an error in the passage at 14:29 Highlight the passage at 14:29

14:58 Or to put it more simply, depending on how your mind works, allow All thinking and the thinker to stop, to cease. Just drop it. We can try it now. We can just drop it. Notice, how is it to just drop thinking only for a moment, right now? Report an error in the passage at 14:58 Highlight the passage at 14:58

15:37 How many of you were able to do it? Report an error in the passage at 15:37 Highlight the passage at 15:37

15:44 Thank you. Report an error in the passage at 15:44 Highlight the passage at 15:44

15:48 This dropping thinking and the thinker doesn't mean that there won't be the spontaneous arising of thoughts. Because in the practice of Zazen, we don't suppress thought. Report an error in the passage at 15:48 Highlight the passage at 15:48

16:01 Zazen reveals, in fact, much about how we think when we are engaging in thinking. Report an error in the passage at 16:01 Highlight the passage at 16:01

16:15 Isho Fujita, a contemporary Japanese teacher, has written extensively about Zazen. And he wrote that when we suppress our thoughts in Zazen, it paralyzes knowing. Report an error in the passage at 16:15 Highlight the passage at 16:15

16:35 Unquote. Report an error in the passage at 16:35 Highlight the passage at 16:35

16:39 I'd like to read a longer passage from his collection of writing on Zazen called Polishing a Tile. He wrote, Zazen isn't an escapist business of shutting off knowing in order to peacefully dwell in a world of no-knowing. Report an error in the passage at 16:39 Highlight the passage at 16:39

16:59 For that reason, Zazen isn't a narrow limited matter of trying to expel bothersome knowing. Where is the barrier? No matter what sort of knowing arises, it does not become a difficulty. Report an error in the passage at 16:59 Highlight the passage at 16:59

17:16 This is because zazen has a magnanimity that allows all kinds of knowing to freely play without the slightest restriction. Report an error in the passage at 17:16 Highlight the passage at 17:16

17:30 The upright sitting of zazen is a unique posture we take where we neither flee from knowing nor chase after it. In martial arts, there is a posture called mugamame, which means the posture of nothing, or Report an error in the passage at 17:30 Highlight the passage at 17:30

17:54 Shizentai, the natural body, which is said to be neither offensive nor defensive. Report an error in the passage at 17:54 Highlight the passage at 17:54

18:04 It is that which precedes movement. That which precedes movement is said to be immovable, but at the same time it is not like a dead body. Report an error in the passage at 18:04 Highlight the passage at 18:04

18:16 And it's not a posture that lacks potentiality to transform. Report an error in the passage at 18:16 Highlight the passage at 18:16

18:24 Within it is concealed limitless creativity that can freely give birth to a movement that is able to properly suit the situation. So mind you, this is martial arts. He's talking about what proceeds in martial arts, a movement that is able to properly suit the situation. Report an error in the passage at 18:24 Highlight the passage at 18:24

18:55 So in zazen, we're not engaging in intentional movement. But Isho goes on to say, it can be said that the upright sitting called zazen is to face any sort of knowing with this posture of nothing this stillness that precedes movement and Report an error in the passage at 18:55 Highlight the passage at 18:55

19:22 to maintain it for any for the let or this goes on to so then we maintain this or we return to it for any length of the period of zazen and it's beforehand before sitting down or zazen Report an error in the passage at 19:22 Highlight the passage at 19:22

19:45 and animosity, hopes and expectations with regard to knowing in Zazen. and we sit with the thought of choosing between likes and dislikes. Report an error in the passage at 19:45 Highlight the passage at 19:45

19:58 then it will not be possible to maintain. The posture of nothing. With regard to, or in the face of, the continual flow of knowing that appears within Zaza. Report an error in the passage at 19:58 Highlight the passage at 19:58

20:22 If you remember earlier, I... Referred to a word, uni, forcible or willful movement of the body and mind. And there's a complementary term, which is go-i, which means spontaneous, unintentional, involuntary, inner movement of the body, mind. Report an error in the passage at 20:22 Highlight the passage at 20:22

20:52 And Isho-san says that this is the subtle movement that is continuous within zazen. So it's not like a dead body. Report an error in the passage at 20:52 Highlight the passage at 20:52

21:05 And this goyi, you could say, is what settles the self on the self, reveals the self to the self. Report an error in the passage at 21:05 Highlight the passage at 21:05

21:18 Please don't mistake the arising of this knowledge as he refers to it. Report an error in the passage at 21:18 Highlight the passage at 21:18

21:28 Don't confuse it with thinking. Dogen says, in zazen we think not thinking. We cease all the movements of the conscious mind. This knowledge is not thinking. This knowledge you might say is like the raw material of thinking. It's the natural arising and ceasing of thoughts. Report an error in the passage at 21:28 Highlight the passage at 21:28

21:57 Thoughts that reveal to us how we are feeling and the present moment, the feeling in the present moment is revealed as knowledge. Report an error in the passage at 21:57 Highlight the passage at 21:57

22:17 And also the residue, the impressions made by past thinking and feeling are revealed. Report an error in the passage at 22:17 Highlight the passage at 22:17

22:27 including feelings and beliefs that in our everyday lives we're often not aware of, we're distracted from, some of which are at the root of repetitive patterns of behavior. Report an error in the passage at 22:27 Highlight the passage at 22:27

22:44 So our practice, our zazen, reveals to us what we hadn't been conscious of believing in or we hadn't been conscious we were committed to while Report an error in the passage at 22:44 Highlight the passage at 22:44

22:59 also illuminating our conscious hams. Our neuroses and our valid concerns. Report an error in the passage at 22:59 Highlight the passage at 22:59

23:12 Zazen reveals where we're stuck as well as how we are free. Report an error in the passage at 23:12 Highlight the passage at 23:12

23:25 It reveals our fears and our insecurities, things we've been in denial about, parts of ourself that we've been actively ignoring, and it reveals also our potentiality. Report an error in the passage at 23:25 Highlight the passage at 23:25

23:43 This is how in Zazen we take responsibility for our lives, for our actions of body, speech, and mind. By looking directly at everything that arises in our own hearts and minds, what we realize in Zazen is transformative, does in turn transform the ways we act in the world when we get up from our seats. Report an error in the passage at 23:43 Highlight the passage at 23:43

24:18 One is not usually radically transformed overnight, but there's a well-known teaching of Suzuki Roshi, which is if you walk in the drizzle, or in a fog, for long enough, you will get soaked. Report an error in the passage at 24:18 Highlight the passage at 24:18

24:48 There's a Buddhist term for what I've just been describing about what our zazen practice reveals, and that term is samskaras, or subliminal impressions that are held by the body, held Report an error in the passage at 24:48 Highlight the passage at 24:48

25:10 by the mind, in the body, held by the body and mind. Report an error in the passage at 25:10 Highlight the passage at 25:10

25:16 We hold so much below the threshold of consciousness all day long, every day. Ways of knowing that we've received, that we've inherited, consciously and unconsciously, and through our education, formal and informal. Report an error in the passage at 25:16 Highlight the passage at 25:16

25:42 And on the conscious level, we play with our inherited beliefs, our learned beliefs, and we try to jigger them. Here and there, as we're able to, many Report an error in the passage at 25:42 Highlight the passage at 25:42

26:00 of us have done a lot of work to refine the way that we think and feel so that our feeling and thinking becomes more functional, more economical, more socially and emotionally intelligent. Report an error in the passage at 26:00 Highlight the passage at 26:00

26:18 And many of those developmental processes are meaning-making processes. And so much of the meaning that we make and so much of what we seem to need to function In our everyday lives in society is binary, dualistic, dichotomous, polarized. Report an error in the passage at 26:18 Highlight the passage at 26:18

26:50 Many of us are frequently thinking throughout our days in terms of good and bad, right and wrong, true and untrue, same and different. We spend so much of our energy trying to reconcile these differences and trying to stay on the side of right. Report an error in the passage at 26:50 Highlight the passage at 26:50

27:12 But the lines are always changing and being redrawn like Report an error in the passage at 27:12 Highlight the passage at 27:12

27:21 our Constitution, for instance. And we are always changing, continuously. We're not monolithic. We've never been monolithic. We contain multitudes, as Walt Whitman said. Report an error in the passage at 27:21 Highlight the passage at 27:21

27:44 And these multitudes include many contradictions. Many, many contradictions. And to the extent that our contradictions are in conflict, our inner conflict leads to outer conflict. Report an error in the passage at 27:44 Highlight the passage at 27:44

28:08 When we read the news of the world, or in some parts of the world, when people step outside of their front door, or even without stepping outside of their front door, they are assailed by conflict, by acts of war even. Report an error in the passage at 28:08 Highlight the passage at 28:08

28:33 And that conflict begins in the mind of separation, which Report an error in the passage at 28:33 Highlight the passage at 28:33

28:45 is the mind that can easily dehumanize And attack whatever appears to be not me. Of Report an error in the passage at 28:45 Highlight the passage at 28:45

28:58 course, that is all based on a massive delusion because Report an error in the passage at 28:58 Highlight the passage at 28:58

29:07 this is one thoroughly interconnected world system. So we engage in this practice of Zazen in order to wake up from the massive delusion and to liberate others from the suffering of the impacts of massive delusion. Report an error in the passage at 29:07 Highlight the passage at 29:07

29:35 From one perspective, the world is full of chaos and conflict because my side of right and your side of right look different. Report an error in the passage at 29:35 Highlight the passage at 29:35

29:50 So for those of us who come to this practice, the question eventually arises, and maybe it's the question that brings us to this practice, what is all of this really, and what can I do about it? Report an error in the passage at 29:50 Highlight the passage at 29:50

30:08 And Zen says, sit down and settle the self. Sit down and look directly at whatever knowledge, whatever thoughts arise in your mind without turning away from them, without trying to get a hold of them, without manipulating them, without acting on them. Report an error in the passage at 30:08 Highlight the passage at 30:08

30:40 You can be silent and still as you look directly at whatever arises in your mind, you can start there, Zen says. At any given moment, you can start there, wherever you happen to be. Report an error in the passage at 30:40 Highlight the passage at 30:40

31:05 You can start right now. Report an error in the passage at 31:05 Highlight the passage at 31:05

31:12 This is called taking full responsibility for the self. And not with jiriki, not with self-power, but with tariki, other power. What is other power? Is she talking about God? Report an error in the passage at 31:12 Highlight the passage at 31:12

31:39 Suzuki Roshi said, when we sit zazen, everything sits with us. Report an error in the passage at 31:39 Highlight the passage at 31:39

31:48 Of course, he doesn't mean that all other beings are sitting. Report an error in the passage at 31:48 Highlight the passage at 31:48

31:55 Innumerable beings are being born, are growing old or not, are getting sick, and dying as we sit. That is a fact. Report an error in the passage at 31:55 Highlight the passage at 31:55

32:14 Life is birth and death. Report an error in the passage at 32:14 Highlight the passage at 32:14

32:21 Suzuki Roshi said that zazen is an awareness of a universal existence, not a separate self. He also said... Don't say that you sit zazen. Zazen sits zazen. Report an error in the passage at 32:21 Highlight the passage at 32:21

32:46 So I'd like to say a little bit about our Zen practice of bodhisattva activity, intrapsychically as well as interpersonally and collectively. All of these are totally interconnected, interfused. The practice of zazen in the context of a bodhisattva path is a practice of fearlessness, you might say. Report an error in the passage at 32:46 Highlight the passage at 32:46

33:14 What is fearlessness? It doesn't mean the absence of fear. It means a practice of non-attachment, Report an error in the passage at 33:14 Highlight the passage at 33:14

33:27 meeting things directly and waking up to the emptiness of all things, which means the interdependence of all things. Report an error in the passage at 33:27 Highlight the passage at 33:27

33:39 When in Zazen we allow everything to arise without suppressing knowledge and allow everything that arises within us to be seen and experienced, we're cultivating a capacity to look. directly at what is without turning away or touching. Report an error in the passage at 33:39 Highlight the passage at 33:39

34:10 without evaluation. Report an error in the passage at 34:10 Highlight the passage at 34:10

34:15 right or wrong, true or false. We don't get into that during... This Report an error in the passage at 34:15 Highlight the passage at 34:15

34:27 is a bodhisattva practice in part because we enter the fearlessness, the letting go of self-clinging that it requires, the renunciation of attachments. Report an error in the passage at 34:27 Highlight the passage at 34:27

34:41 to fixed views in order to practice the precepts completely in zazen so that when we get up from zazen we know what it means to practice the precepts not Report an error in the passage at 34:41 Highlight the passage at 34:41

35:00 stealing, stealing, not killing, not lying, not slandering, etc. Zazen takes some courage this This way of being with oneself, it does. This way of being with others. We don't practice alone. Report an error in the passage at 35:00 Highlight the passage at 35:00

35:27 Self-power, which is only a state of mind, a state of consciousness, not an actual thing, can't do this practice. Report an error in the passage at 35:27 Highlight the passage at 35:27

35:39 It's too invested in an identity. A Report an error in the passage at 35:39 Highlight the passage at 35:39

35:45 fixed identity, any fixed identity that we have, is let go during zaza. Report an error in the passage at 35:45 Highlight the passage at 35:45

35:54 For the sake of waking up to the way things actually are, a Report an error in the passage at 35:54 Highlight the passage at 35:54

36:03 fear recently arose in me, in my practice. It was a fear of the appearance of amorality or moral ambiguity in the absence of an expression of clear discernment, in the absence of taking a clear stand with regard to passive participation Report an error in the passage at 36:03 Highlight the passage at 36:03

36:33 Apparently unjust set of circumstances. And this fear arose in me in the context of teaching of the Buddha Dharma that I witnessed. Report an error in the passage at 36:33 Highlight the passage at 36:33

36:47 I wondered as I listened, what will people think of this teaching? And so in response to that fear, I felt the need to clearly state from the teaching seat shortly thereafter and here today that Shipentaza or... Only just sitting, stripped of the bodhisattva vows, is not Zen. Report an error in the passage at 36:47 Highlight the passage at 36:47

37:18 It is at best a wholesome, secular mindfulness practice that is primarily for one's own personal cultivation, for one's own health, enrichment, tranquility, focus of the mind. There's nothing wrong in it when used for wholesome purposes. I recommend it. But it's not Zen. And that's okay. Report an error in the passage at 37:18 Highlight the passage at 37:18

38:00 Having sat silently with this fear, afterward I recognized the opportunity of the creative potential as... You should refer to it. I think that might be the kitchen. Thank you all. Or maybe you've just had enough. So Report an error in the passage at 38:00 Highlight the passage at 38:00

38:28 as I was saying, I sat with this fear for a while and I woke up with it. And afterwards I recognized the opportunity. Creative potential to respond. Report an error in the passage at 38:28 Highlight the passage at 38:28

38:41 And so I have been doing my best to do that recently, trying my best to make it known that Zen is an ethical discipline and that our ethics have implications for which we are responsible, which means able to respond, particularly as people of vow. Report an error in the passage at 38:41 Highlight the passage at 38:41

39:09 So just Report an error in the passage at 39:09 Highlight the passage at 39:09

39:15 a quick recap. There are two things that I wanted to emphasize today. One is how we sit in this tradition. The other is why we sit in this tradition, or you could say in place of the why we sit, the view that we establish prior to sitting and that we clarify over time, the bodhisattva view of what it means to live and be lived for the welfare of all beings. Report an error in the passage at 39:15 Highlight the passage at 39:15

39:50 It's a view that we verify at the time of practice again and again. Report an error in the passage at 39:50 Highlight the passage at 39:50

39:59 And what we verify actually precedes our practice, our intentional activity. It's not a product of our practice. Report an error in the passage at 39:59 Highlight the passage at 39:59

40:11 Rather, it's something that our practice reveals, and words can't reach it. Report an error in the passage at 40:11 Highlight the passage at 40:11

40:23 Teaching is offered, a view. We're told this is a true teaching, but the teaching is only pointing at something. Report an error in the passage at 40:23 Highlight the passage at 40:23

40:34 It's a map and not the territory, you might say. Report an error in the passage at 40:34 Highlight the passage at 40:34

40:40 So we have teachers and friends in the dharma. Everyone here now, even if it's only your first time here, now you have many friends and teachers in the dharma. Welcome. Report an error in the passage at 40:40 Highlight the passage at 40:40

41:03 As I was saying, we have friends and teachers in the dharma who have traveled this path before us, ahead of us, and they tell us, oh yes, I received the teaching and I've verified it. Report an error in the passage at 41:03 Highlight the passage at 41:03

41:21 So with enough trust, we develop some faith. In the truth of the teaching, enough to set out on the path at least, path of practice, to verify it for ourselves. Report an error in the passage at 41:21 Highlight the passage at 41:21

41:36 And depending on how dirty our mirror appears to be, excuse me, way not, it may take a while to begin to recognize the verification or the enlightenment of Zazen. Report an error in the passage at 41:36 Highlight the passage at 41:36

41:55 So hopefully, if we become discouraged on the path, A good friend in the dharma will say, oh yes, that is normal, what you've described. Or your friend may offer you some other skillful means if you feel or appear to be particularly hung up. She might say, maybe you should go clean the toilets. Or go dig up some potatoes. Report an error in the passage at 41:55 Highlight the passage at 41:55

42:30 Or chant the loving kindness meditation. Read the Lotus Sūtra. Report an error in the passage at 42:30 Highlight the passage at 42:30

42:41 And then later, your friend may notice that perhaps you are spending too much time hanging out with the potatoes. Where's my friend who hangs out with the potatoes? I see her. Report an error in the passage at 42:41 Highlight the passage at 42:41

43:03 And she might say, what are you doing? I haven't seen you on your seat in a while. Report an error in the passage at 43:03 Highlight the passage at 43:03

43:15 And that's pretty much all that's going on here in this training temple. He likes it. Report an error in the passage at 43:15 Highlight the passage at 43:15

43:24 So there's no need to become a monk unless it's your Report an error in the passage at 43:24 Highlight the passage at 43:24

43:33 Maybe just spend a little more time sitting zazen. Report an error in the passage at 43:33 Highlight the passage at 43:33

43:43 Each of us has something that we know we have been overindulging in. Report an error in the passage at 43:43 Highlight the passage at 43:43

43:52 really settle the body or nourish the heart or clarify the mind. so we can be a good friend to ourselves and we can say, haven't you seen that series three times already? Report an error in the passage at 43:52 Highlight the passage at 43:52

44:12 How about sitting down and facing the wall for a bit? Report an error in the passage at 44:12 Highlight the passage at 44:12

44:19 As I Report an error in the passage at 44:19 Highlight the passage at 44:19

44:29 was preparing this talk, a song came to my mind, just a short tune, and I started humming it, and I didn't recognize it immediately. Report an error in the passage at 44:29 Highlight the passage at 44:29

44:40 And then I did, and I heard the music before I heard the words, but when the words registered, I thought, that's not such a match for the topic. Report an error in the passage at 44:40 Highlight the passage at 44:40

44:54 So I started humming it. Report an error in the passage at 44:54 Highlight the passage at 44:54

45:00 Substituting some of the words so that it matched the topic. And it was a Joan Armatrading song. How many of you are familiar with the music of Joan Armatrading? I'll Report an error in the passage at 45:00 Highlight the passage at 45:00

45:28 share with you the song that arose in me. I'm not a singer, but... Report an error in the passage at 45:28 Highlight the passage at 45:28

45:38 I am not awake But I'm open to persuasion You Report an error in the passage at 45:38 Highlight the passage at 45:38

45:47 took me sitting And in the stills I could really move, really move I can really dance, really dance. Thank you. Now I can feel the sun in my eyes and the rain on my face. Report an error in the passage at 45:47 Highlight the passage at 45:47

46:09 With friends I still feel so insecure. But little Zazen, I believe you can help me allow. Report an error in the passage at 46:09 Highlight the passage at 46:09

46:20 No conversation, no way goodbye. Just be this town with a little dedication. Report an error in the passage at 46:20 Highlight the passage at 46:20

46:33 So Report an error in the passage at 46:33 Highlight the passage at 46:33

46:38 that is love and affection for this place of practice, for this way of life. Thank you all for your presence. Report an error in the passage at 46:38 Highlight the passage at 46:38

46:59 I believe this is the time for questions or comments, anything you'd like to bring forth. Report an error in the passage at 46:59 Highlight the passage at 46:59

47:20 Thank you, Kristin, for your talk. So I think you answered my question, which is... But I kind of am going to ask it in a different way, maybe get a sort of clear in my mind answer. And it's pretty foundational with sitting practice. Report an error in the passage at 47:20 Highlight the passage at 47:20

47:41 So as I came in today to sit early, I was offered another cushion for comfort. I'm pretty tall. And I thought, oh, well, I'll just figure it out when I get on the Zafu. practice. Report an error in the passage at 47:41 Highlight the passage at 47:41

48:00 When I did, of course, it was not, I didn't prepare properly for my own form. And so as I was sitting there, and of course when I'm at home and I practice, it's different because things are set up for me. And so coming into the zendo, which I don't do that often, you know, it takes some adjustment. And of course my feet fall asleep. Report an error in the passage at 48:00 Highlight the passage at 48:00

48:32 So I guess my question that kind of came up while I was sitting and trying to be in open awareness was also wisdom with attention and kind of how to navigate that time when something needs attention and when it doesn't. I know it's okay to change forms if things are uncomfortable and change position. Report an error in the passage at 48:32 Highlight the passage at 48:32

49:02 But it's also okay to sit with that uncomfortable experience. And I'm just wondering if you have anything else you could say about both and maybe where there could be some wisdom gained with both those experiences. Thank you. Yes, thank you. This is very common, what you've described, especially for people who've just begun sitting and they're still trying to Determine what is the support that I need to sit in a balanced way that doesn't restrict my breathing, that doesn't result in my legs falling asleep for an extended period of time, etc. Report an error in the passage at 49:02 Highlight the passage at 49:02

49:49 So it's trial and error in the beginning. I recommend trying different things in the beginning until you find something. But then I think self-honesty goes a long way. You know, you check in with yourself. Is this restlessness that is dictating this experience or is it very clear, wise discernment that if I don't make an adjustment now, I may hurt myself or I'm so intensely distracted by the fact that my leg has completely fallen asleep and I think it's probably not healthy. Report an error in the passage at 49:49 Highlight the passage at 49:49

50:27 You might decide, okay, I'm going to breathe and I'm going to make Clear and conscious decision to make an adjustment. I'm not going to fidget. And then I'm going to make the adjustment and then I'm going to drop it and I'm going to settle and I'm going to trust that if I truly need to move again, that knowledge will arise and it will be clear and I'll make a clear discernment at that time and then I will return to only just sit. Report an error in the passage at 50:27 Highlight the passage at 50:27

50:55 So this goes on. The longer we sit, the more we recognize we're able to sit there. I think it's really remarkable about what you said That is, and I've been... Report an error in the passage at 50:55 Highlight the passage at 50:55

51:36 You know, maybe some of that attention heading towards the mind in this experience and that feedback with the body that occurs. And it's an ever-present dance. So thank you. And I want to say, when I say the mind so generally in this way, I also mean the feelings, the emotions. Often there's a function in the mind that wants to suppress emotion. So notice. Report an error in the passage at 51:36 Highlight the passage at 51:36

52:07 if things are being attended to off the cushion or not, and therefore wanting to come up on the cushion. Thank Report an error in the passage at 52:07 Highlight the passage at 52:07

· · · silence, 1 minute

52:47 you so much. You're welcome. I really appreciated you talking about the fact that thinking can be helpful and the distinction between when it's helpful and when it's not is what I'm curious about hearing your experience with that off the cushion. Report an error in the passage at 52:47 Highlight the passage at 52:47

53:14 Particularly when it comes to having to make difficult decisions in life and how maybe you distinguish between when the thinking is helpful and when it's not. If there are any cues you have to determine that. Thank you. Such a big question and every situation is different. Report an error in the passage at 53:14 Highlight the passage at 53:14

53:43 And I don't when I'm Practicing when I recognize what's going on, I remind myself that I am not this separate individual making my way in the world who needs to or who can't get it right. Report an error in the passage at 53:43 Highlight the passage at 53:43

54:05 I'm responding to the best of my ability, not just from my executive kind of thinking function, but from a more thorough awareness and ability to be present. With all that is, the more that I can include in my consideration, which doesn't mean needing to think about everything, but to have the view of inclusion and being supported by all things to discern and to respond appropriately really helps me. Report an error in the passage at 54:05 Highlight the passage at 54:05

54:46 And I also am in conversation with others. I don't isolate myself when there's a difficult decision to be made. I share with others. Report an error in the passage at 54:46 Highlight the passage at 54:46

54:56 turning this and I'm conflicted or I'm not sure what to do. So I listen. I listen to my friends and I listen to the environment and allow that to inform. Report an error in the passage at 54:56 Highlight the passage at 54:56

55:11 the decisions that I make. That's the most general response that I can give. It would depend on the specific circumstances for me to give you a more specific response. Thank you. You're welcome. Report an error in the passage at 55:11 Highlight the passage at 55:11

55:46 Thank you so much. You're welcome. I am a new resident here. I've only been here for less than three months. And before coming here, I was very active in the community and the world and felt that that was really important to do at this time. And also I feel like because of that, I'm here. Report an error in the passage at 55:46 Highlight the passage at 55:46

56:19 And I have been feeling that same fear, or maybe a related fear to what you shared about just sitting and the passivity that it feels like I'm in, especially being in this beautiful environment and literally being isolated. And yeah, I'm wondering, like I read the news this morning. Report an error in the passage at 56:19 Highlight the passage at 56:19

56:53 I was like, okay, this sucks. Because it always does. Like, never. Good. And I'm also here. So what is that balance of being with what is here and really meeting what's in front of me while also having an awareness of our interconnected world and the way that things out there maybe not directly affect me here, but... Report an error in the passage at 56:53 Highlight the passage at 56:53

57:26 I feel like there's still a connection. Well, I heard that there was a tone in the way you spoke that was a question, but I just heard you describe the way it is. And maybe one thing that's helpful is to replace the word passive with receptive. Report an error in the passage at 57:26 Highlight the passage at 57:26

57:50 We're learning to be receptive, to listen, and to take care of the things right in front of us. How is it to take Complete care of what is right. There are many beings here with you and so many things to take care of. I think, especially when we're young, we presume to be able to save the world. We only just come up with the right formula, but we still don't really know how to make the bet. Report an error in the passage at 57:50 Highlight the passage at 57:50

58:24 So we are growing up and learning how to take responsibility for this, cultivating the capacity for the awareness required to respond to more complex complex, and a more broad set of circumstances. And at the same time, it is happening right now. though it may not be immediately visible to us. We can't see the direct connection. Report an error in the passage at 58:24 Highlight the passage at 58:24

58:53 It might be Report an error in the passage at 58:53 Highlight the passage at 58:53

59:15 time for one more, if that's okay? Sure. Report an error in the passage at 59:15 Highlight the passage at 59:15

59:23 First of all, it's great to see you here. I missed seeing you. I saw you regularly a couple years ago. ago, kind of thing. Report an error in the passage at 59:23 Highlight the passage at 59:23

59:34 I'm always curious to talk about studying the mind. And on some level, it seems like, well, that's kind of a puny thing to be studying. Report an error in the passage at 59:34 Highlight the passage at 59:34

59:50 Why aren't we studying reality, the universe, the sorts? Something, you know, when I think of the mind, it's like... Isn't this the mind's something that is limited? Report an error in the passage at 59:50 Highlight the passage at 59:50

1:00:11 With what will you study the universe? Yeah, I mean, yeah, this puny mind is what I'm studying the universe with. And it feels like, you know, I have this little tiny hole that I'm viewing it through. But the thing I must have viewed is so much larger. Part of what we're studying is? Report an error in the passage at 1:00:11 Highlight the passage at 1:00:11

1:00:39 How the mind gets in the way. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:39 Highlight the passage at 1:00:39

1:00:44 We read the Pukhamsa Sanghi and many of Dogen's other teachings. He says, drop body and mind. Report an error in the passage at 1:00:44 Highlight the passage at 1:00:44

1:00:59 But we're not able, most of us, to do that at will. So we begin with studying the mind, which really means looking at it. It's not like book study. We become intimate with this mind. We find out. What it is, and whether or not it is in the way after all, and whether or not it is actually puny, and Report an error in the passage at 1:00:59 Highlight the passage at 1:00:59

1:01:31 what the difference is between the mind and the self, if there is one. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:31 Highlight the passage at 1:01:31

1:01:41 Everything else that we presume to exist is mediated by our minds. So we need to, as human beings, so in our conscious experience, so if we're interested to become free of no limitations. Report an error in the passage at 1:01:41 Highlight the passage at 1:01:41

1:02:04 That may not be satisfactory. That look on your face is not good. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:04 Highlight the passage at 1:02:04

1:02:11 I like the intro. Thank you for Report an error in the passage at 1:02:11 Highlight the passage at 1:02:11

1:02:21 listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our dharma talks are offered at no cost and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma. Report an error in the passage at 1:02:21 Highlight the passage at 1:02:21